Jonas Brothers brand whale vomit, erectile dysfunction doctor ends up stiff, and the important difference between North Dakota and South Dakota: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/27 - 2/2
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-02-05 4:18:46 PM (16 comments) | Permalink
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3465 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2013 at 4:27 PM (43 weeks ago) | | share: more»
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Nothing new this week, enjoy the headlines.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-01-27 to Sat 2013-02-02:
Citizens of Mexican town arm themselves and band together to fight back against gangs, will soon be looking to hire seven cowboys
Guy Fieri's new wine is quizzical, yet decisive, with a piquant nose redolent of Rohypnol, in-mouth notes of Axe Body Spray, and an exuberant finish of Zubaz stained with tanning oil and sack sweat
Dove released by Pope in remembrance of Holocaust is promptly attacked by flock of sieg heils
Erectile dysfunction doctor ends up stiffer than his patients
Ticketmaster dumps hard-to-read Captchas. "It is generally speaking one of the most hated pieces of user interaction on the web" say experts. Yes, and their Captchas are pretty annoying too
Monkeys attack seven people in east Indonesian village; so you'd better get ready, they may be coming to your town
North Korea declares martial law. Citizens excited about their new found freedoms
Man finds whale vomit worth £100,000. Must've tried eating the Jonas brothers
NYPD Sgt. says affair with dead cop was consensual, monotonous
Self-educated mothers everywhere are outraged that Canadians dropped Jenny McCarthy off a cancer benefit's roster, she claims it was due to autistic differences
Punxsutawney Phil predicts an early spring. This is a repeat
Man who wears tight spandex pants, pats fellow players on the ass, and winds up at the bottom of a pile of sweaty men for a living says that no gay stuff will be tolerated in the San Francisco 49ers locker room
Former NASCAR driver leads police on a high-speed chase through three states, is finally stopped when police put up a Right Turn Only sign on the freeway
Yale to play Quinnipi... Quennieu... Quinniopie.... Yale to play the #2 ranked team in the nation today
Marine biologists hope to reintroduce large, endangered game fish to Potomac River. Like a sturgeon, stocked for the very first time
Some company is promising a revolutionary update to a device known as a "blackberry," a mysterious tool used by obscure, disconnected tribes that apparently functions like a primitive iPhone or Android. Archaeologists reportedly ecstatic
Drill reaches frozen lake under Antarctic ice. Scientists find frozen woman, but we all know that strange women lying in frozen ponds handing out drills is no way to run a system of science
Ron Jeremy hospitalized and it sounds like he's in pretty deep. Doctor Kandi Cummings quoted as saying "it's a hard case but I'm on top of it and banging out a solution. If anyone can pull out of it and come from behind to beat this thing it's him"
Dakota Fanning to appear nude in upcoming film. No word if we'll be seeing South Dakota or just North Dakota
Chris Brown pulled over for speeding, will reportedly try to beat the charges
Charlie Rangel (D-NY) wants women to register for the draft, people to stop asking him for a few bars of "Minnie the Moocher"
Israel admits that Ethiopian immigrants were given contraceptive shots to drop their birth rate. Health Ministry Director, Dr. A. Godwin, declined comment
John Kerry swiftly confirmed as Secretary of State
Illinois credit rating downgraded from White Sox to Cubs
Judge approves BP plea agreement, record $4 billion fine. Company officials complain that the fine could set them back as much as three days
Chevron officials take an extra day to practice their somber look, then announce record 4Q profit of $7.25 billion
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