Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Meeja (Australia))   Hulk hitch-hiker says he didn't use the blunt end when he killed Jesus. Yes, killed   (meeja.com.au ) divider line
    More: Followup, blunt end  
•       •       •

7546 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2013 at 8:42 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-02-05 08:31:27 AM  

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

 
2013-02-05 08:39:43 AM  
W.....T.....F?
 
2013-02-05 08:47:41 AM  
SUH MASH!
 
2013-02-05 08:51:03 AM  
FTA: a)      Kai, the hatchet-wielding hitchhiker

www.norajean.com
 
2013-02-05 08:51:38 AM  
Actually, Kai seems to have had a terrible life. Raped at 17. A killer today. Homeless and unloved.

And yet he's a hero.

What the fark did you guys do today in your cushy beds and workaday cubicle farms?
 
2013-02-05 08:52:31 AM  
Poor guy. He spent all this time off the interbutts, he should not dip a toe in now. it's a poisonous place and he's not cut out for it.

btw, FARK is the place where we know the most about him, vis a vis the most diligent reporter in the wurld:

http://stupidcelebrities.net/2013/02/kai-the-homeless-hitchhiker-sma sh es-crazy-racist-with-hatchet-video/

because "MikeFinch" on Fark is totally not a made up name!
 
2013-02-05 08:52:38 AM  
He's like Joe Dirt, without the work ethic.
 
2013-02-05 08:53:19 AM  
i46.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-05 08:59:53 AM  
I'm getting a contact high just by LISTENING to him talk! :P
 
2013-02-05 09:01:32 AM  
Saw the video yesterday. Kai is a victim waiting to happen.
 
2013-02-05 09:01:39 AM  
Casca Longinus? nahhh...
 
2013-02-05 09:08:23 AM  
Well a blunt would seem to have had SOME involvement in this story.
 
2013-02-05 09:08:28 AM  
This Kai dude is totally awesome.  Well done, man.  Well done.  I wish someone could have been there for him.
 
2013-02-05 09:11:02 AM  
Hmmm, he must be Jewish.

/Jew
/"We did it, signed Morty!"
 
2013-02-05 09:13:49 AM  
He's like Caine from Kung Fu. With a hatchet.

/walk from place to place
//meet people
///get in adventures
 
2013-02-05 09:13:49 AM  
I've never heard about any third coming. You Christians are right boned now, aren't you?
 
2013-02-05 09:24:14 AM  

The Muthaship: W.....T.....F?

 
2013-02-05 09:24:17 AM  
Too long didn't care.
 
2013-02-05 09:26:32 AM  
That's a horrible farking website to link to, this story is on a number of reputable sites that more people would click on.

Secondly, he didn't kill the guy, so the headline doesn't even make sense.
 
2013-02-05 09:26:43 AM  
18 posts in and no picture of David Banner hitching away from a sad piano?
 
2013-02-05 09:27:07 AM  

aagrajag: I've never heard about any third coming. You Christians are right boned now, aren't you?


Jesus said that one would be coming who was greater than He.

Muslims believe this to be Muhammad. Christians believe this to be the Holy Spirit.

Maybe it's Kai.
 
2013-02-05 09:34:14 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: aagrajag: I've never heard about any third coming. You Christians are right boned now, aren't you?

Jesus said that one would be coming who was greater than He.

Muslims believe this to be Muhammad. Christians believe this to be the Holy Spirit.

Maybe it's Kai.


He seems much less of a dick than his predecessors. Okay, fine. Kai it is, then.
 
2013-02-05 09:36:22 AM  
Killed Jesus? In three days, I predict the charges will be dropped.
 
2013-02-05 09:38:04 AM  
I loved his, smash, smash SMAAAAAASH in the interview. Good guy though, I hope he gets a windfall of sorts from this, because you can tell he is exactly the sort of person that didn't do it for that.
 
2013-02-05 09:38:19 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-05 09:40:51 AM  

Harry Freakstorm: Killed Jesus? In three days, I predict the charges will be dropped.


Hey, there's a question: if I kill a guy, who is certifiably dead for a few minutes, but is then revived... can they still get me for murder?
 
2013-02-05 09:42:40 AM  
I haven't seen the video yet, but there is no possible way this could be fake. No way at all.
 
2013-02-05 09:47:05 AM  

aagrajag: Harry Freakstorm: Killed Jesus? In three days, I predict the charges will be dropped.

Hey, there's a question: if I kill a guy, who is certifiably dead for a few minutes, but is then revived... can they still get me for murder?


Really?
 
2013-02-05 09:49:27 AM  
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net v
 
2013-02-05 09:50:01 AM  

The Muthaship: aagrajag: Harry Freakstorm: Killed Jesus? In three days, I predict the charges will be dropped.

Hey, there's a question: if I kill a guy, who is certifiably dead for a few minutes, but is then revived... can they still get me for murder?

Really?


No, really. The law is frequently an absurd and illogical thing.
 
2013-02-05 09:52:24 AM  

SpdrJay: Well a blunt would seem to have had SOME involvement in this story.


=============

Came here to say this, found it already said.
 
2013-02-05 09:57:10 AM  

aagrajag: The Muthaship: aagrajag: Harry Freakstorm: Killed Jesus? In three days, I predict the charges will be dropped.

Hey, there's a question: if I kill a guy, who is certifiably dead for a few minutes, but is then revived... can they still get me for murder?

Really?

No, really. The law is frequently an absurd and illogical thing.


I know you can go to jail for attempted murder for shooting someone who is already dead.

In the case you describe I think it is still attempted murder.

/Not a lawyer
//took a criminal justice class once.
 
2013-02-05 09:57:11 AM  

aagrajag: Harry Freakstorm: Killed Jesus? In three days, I predict the charges will be dropped.

Hey, there's a question: if I kill a guy, who is certifiably dead for a few minutes, but is then revived... can they still get me for murder?


=================

Depends on the state and / or federal charges
 
2013-02-05 09:57:34 AM  
Witnesses

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-05 10:05:29 AM  

Zoomaster: aagrajag: Harry Freakstorm: Killed Jesus? In three days, I predict the charges will be dropped.

Hey, there's a question: if I kill a guy, who is certifiably dead for a few minutes, but is then revived... can they still get me for murder?

=================

Depends on the state and / or federal charges


in my state, death means permanent and irreversible cessation of brain or circulatory function.  murder requires the death of a person.  so, you'd get attempted murder.  the law is prepared for your hypothetical, murder is defined as causing a death, and death is defined as irreversible.

/ each state may have different definitions
// ianacriminallawyer
 
2013-02-05 10:05:48 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Actually, Kai seems to have had a terrible life. Raped at 17. A killer today. Homeless and unloved.

And yet he's a hero.

What the fark did you guys do today in your cushy beds and workaday cubicle farms?


I played with myself.
 
2013-02-05 10:08:28 AM  

kvinesknows: AverageAmericanGuy: Actually, Kai seems to have had a terrible life. Raped at 17. A killer today. Homeless and unloved.

And yet he's a hero.

What the fark did you guys do today in your cushy beds and workaday cubicle farms?

I played with myself.


We know, Kent.
 
2013-02-05 10:23:50 AM  
So Kai nailed Jesus with a hatchet on the street.
 
2013-02-05 10:30:26 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: kvinesknows: AverageAmericanGuy: Actually, Kai seems to have had a terrible life. Raped at 17. A killer today. Homeless and unloved.

And yet he's a hero.

What the fark did you guys do today in your cushy beds and workaday cubicle farms?

I played with myself.

We know, Kent.


wait... how do you know?
 
2013-02-05 11:55:42 AM  

topcon: That's a horrible farking website to link to, this story is on a number of reputable sites that more people would click on.

Secondly, he didn't kill the guy, so the headline doesn't even make sense.


Don't bother, they're all still on their monster blunts. I didn't understand the headline either. How this even got greenlit can only be explained by his growing cult.

/Or in this case, apparently, His Divine Shadow
 
2013-02-05 11:58:55 AM  

Shadowtag: /Or in this case, apparently, His Divine Shadow


I have killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and apparently...

...the fun. NEVER. STOPS!

 
2013-02-05 12:48:25 PM  
meeja.com.au

Well my dog's got dreads and my patches got patches
My scabies got lice and my rash got rashes
Dain't washed a dish in all of my years
And I can't afford the show 'cause I gotta buy beers

Spanged your housemate today, though it wasn't on purpose
I still think they're a jerk, 'cause they got a job I mean they could help out
You know, I, I ate all the food, but I dumpstered those... donuts...
I mean, it's not like I'm not contributing

But anyway I'm just trying to help
I'm yellin' at your band 'cause I think you're swell
I spilled beer on your distro when we were talkin' anarchy
But someone's gotta keep it punk! I mean like chaos man!

You say oogle like it's a bad thing
When my dog shiats on the floor you don't seem to understand
That I'm wasted indeed and fighting for my life
Oogle pride

Well momma tried, SHE DONE TRIED, and she tried damn hard
But some things are too beautiful to keep inside
I'm livin' free, I ain't a slave to your capitalist system
And you house punks ain't got no idea what you're missin'

I came to your meeting and I ate all the snacks
I was totally wasted and yall's politics are wack
I interrupted because I had a whole lot to say
And I'll fight y'all if you tell me I gotta go away

You say oogle like it's a bad thing
And when I gave your whole town scabies you don't seem to understand
That I'm wasted indeed and fighting for my life
Oogle pride

In these days of war, and nights of... somethin'
Let's get plastered and stop talkin' about nothin'
The system can't use us if we're all wasted up
So let's FIGHT THE MAN with each empty beer cup

You say oogle like it's a bad thing
And when I puked on your couch my dog shiats on the floor when I dumpstered your house and you call me an oogle you don't seem to understand that I'm wasted indeed and fighting for my life
OOGLE PRIDE
 
2013-02-05 01:00:01 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: Actually, Kai seems to have had a terrible life. Raped at 17. A killer today. Homeless and unloved.

And yet he's a hero.

What the fark did you guys do today in your cushy beds and workaday cubicle farms?


I welded the entire transverse bulkhead and half of a longitudinal bulkhead in the starboard #2 cargo hold.

farm5.staticflickr.com
(Not the one I worked on, but a good example)

/cubicles will kill ya deader'n hell.
 
2013-02-05 01:46:20 PM  

Precision Boobery: ♪ Jesus loves marijuana ♫

♪ Jesus loves marijuana ♫

♪ Jesus loves marijuana ♫

♪ and drinking human blood.


Okay, this next one's called Race Mixin' -- Don't You Do It


Charlie Manson's greatest hits album?
 
2013-02-05 02:30:11 PM  
Well he did say he cleaved his head.
Video (warning: foul language).
http://youtu.be/ckfBGdZoR_0?t=4m1s
 
2013-02-05 02:38:54 PM  
The cleaved head comment starts here: http://youtu.be/ckfBGdZoR_0?t=3m29s
 
2013-02-06 12:50:20 PM  
You know who else really likes a profane hatchetman?

www.wweek.com
 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report