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(Mining)   Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold   (mining.com) divider line 64
    More: Spiffy, scientists discovered, Nature Chemical Biology, bacteria  
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11942 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2013 at 8:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-05 07:57:50 AM  
Is it April 1 already?
 
2013-02-05 08:15:56 AM  
Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad.

Luckily, there is a priest who specializes in removing curses from frogurt.

That's good.

He's also a pedophile.

That's bad.
 
2013-02-05 08:24:26 AM  
Gives new meaning to pinching a nugget.
 
2013-02-05 08:24:28 AM  

dittybopper: Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad.

Luckily, there is a priest who specializes in removing curses from frogurt.

That's good.

He's also a pedophile.

That's bad.


Holy sh*t this made me laugh hard
 
2013-02-05 08:25:48 AM  
What is scary is where those 3 pound nuggets come from .
 
2013-02-05 08:26:40 AM  
Is this the Onion?
 
2013-02-05 08:28:25 AM  
I have always thought that the best way of cleaning up waste would be to use bacteria that would separate out the valuable elements while using the bio elements to reproduce.  Then just pull out the bacteria and harvest them for the carbon etc.
 
2013-02-05 08:28:29 AM  
Unlikely the gold-producing bugs will ever be revenue-positive, but it points to more promising progress in bio-remediation, where bacteria can clean up toxic lands.
 
2013-02-05 08:29:13 AM  

dittybopper: Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad.

Luckily, there is a priest who specializes in removing curses from frogurt.

That's good.

He's also a pedophile.

That's bad.


The pedophile contains sodium benzoate.
 
2013-02-05 08:30:08 AM  
You would poop gold too if you ate it.
 
2013-02-05 08:30:58 AM  
www.the80sman.com

Approves.
 
2013-02-05 08:32:02 AM  
I wonder what it gave up in equivalent excange...
 
2013-02-05 08:33:14 AM  
community.mis.temple.edu

No wonder it tastes like shiat.
 
2013-02-05 08:35:41 AM  

mercator_psi: dittybopper: Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad.

Luckily, there is a priest who specializes in removing curses from frogurt.

That's good.

He's also a pedophile.

That's bad.

The pedophile contains sodium benzoate.


That's good.

The pedophile also contains monosodium glutamate.

That's bad.
 
2013-02-05 08:35:44 AM  
Bacterium. If it poops, it's singular.
 
2013-02-05 08:39:59 AM  
Leprechaun Coli?
 
2013-02-05 08:42:14 AM  
A lower life form that loves toxic waste and wants to make gold out of it? I think we should call this "Beck-teria", not bacteria.
 
2013-02-05 08:42:20 AM  
bearded clamorer:
community.mis.temple.edu
No wonder it tastes like shiat.


upload.wikimedia.org

"You know that's right.  WHAT?"
 
2013-02-05 08:44:30 AM  
Bacteria poop?

img863.imageshack.us
That's GOLD, Jerry! GOLD!
 
2013-02-05 08:45:15 AM  

mercator_psi: dittybopper: Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad.

Luckily, there is a priest who specializes in removing curses from frogurt.

That's good.

He's also a pedophile.

That's bad.

The pedophile contains sodium benzoate.


?
 
2013-02-05 08:46:38 AM  
Came in looking for the Hudson Hawk reference, leaving disappointed.
 
2013-02-05 08:49:00 AM  
You should check out the bacteria that eat thunder and crap lightning.
 
2013-02-05 08:52:22 AM  
This is poop, Mr Bond. All my life, I've been in love with its colour, its brilliance, its divine heaviness.
 
2013-02-05 08:55:06 AM  
When does their reality show on the Discovery Channel start?
 
2013-02-05 08:55:50 AM  

dittybopper: Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad


reelybored.com
 
2013-02-05 08:58:04 AM  
Happens to me when I eat nuthin' but Captain Crunch for a couple days.....
 
2013-02-05 09:00:52 AM  
b.vimeocdn.com

Not obscure in this crowd...
 
2013-02-05 09:00:55 AM  
Anything can poop gold if you feed it enough gold.
 
2013-02-05 09:04:07 AM  
Sounds like someone leveled up to Alchemy 100.
 
2013-02-05 09:05:01 AM  
I have these germs in my bathroom
www.thespoiledchild.com
 
2013-02-05 09:14:00 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-05 09:14:12 AM  
Alchemy achieved!!!11!  Bacteria that turns gold into gold.
 
2013-02-05 09:15:00 AM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: This is poop, Mr Bond. All my life, I've been in love with its colour, its brilliance, its divine heaviness.


Poopfinger. Without a doubt the finest movie in the 007 franchise.
 
2013-02-05 09:17:34 AM  
 
2013-02-05 09:18:20 AM  
Au, shiat.
 
2013-02-05 09:29:54 AM  
This should be obvious to anyone who has ever actually seen both a vein of gold and a seep line.  The gold is clearly a waste product of some microscopic creatures living in the line.  They survive on chemical engergy derived from converting gold salts to elemental gold.
 
2013-02-05 09:36:21 AM  
thestockmasters.com
 
2013-02-05 09:37:40 AM  

Ol' Derpy Bastard: Au, shiat.


"Au"some. I bow in your general direction.
 
2013-02-05 09:40:51 AM  
img.poptower.com
 
2013-02-05 09:43:13 AM  
www.impossiblepodcasts.com

Go on.....

/contrary to rumor, Tywin Lannister does not actually poop gold
 
2013-02-05 09:43:59 AM  
I poop gold when I drink Goldschlager
 
2013-02-05 10:25:43 AM  

Incredulous: Bacterium. If it poops, it's singular.


^^^ Hero.
 
2013-02-05 10:27:42 AM  

SpdrJay: Happens to me when I eat nuthin' but Captain Crunch for a couple days.....


I did that with "all berries" once. Loaded with red and blue food coloring... Purple. If I hadn't just crapped I would have crapped myself.
 
2013-02-05 11:04:19 AM  

nulluspixiusdemonica: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2012-10/03/bacteria-turning-liqui d -into-gold

2012 called...

She wants her "news" back...

2010 called...

He's really upset about something..
http://news.discovery.com/earth/weather-extreme-events/gold-bacteria -n uggets.htm?dtc=nws-hp-ticker-gold


Now you've gone and awakened 2009
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/10/091007103034.htm
 
2013-02-05 11:06:42 AM  

LordBollocks: I have these germs in my bathroom
[www.thespoiledchild.com image 450x310]


The horror, the horror, your toilet paper is backwards, aaaaaahhhhhh  the tp is backwards   aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh the tp is backwards.

That is all, thank you
 
2013-02-05 11:32:56 AM  

dittybopper: mercator_psi: dittybopper: Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad.

Luckily, there is a priest who specializes in removing curses from frogurt.

That's good.

He's also a pedophile.

That's bad.

The pedophile contains sodium benzoate.

That's good.

The pedophile also contains monosodium glutamate.

That's bad.


So...does it come with a free topping...because that would be good....
 
2013-02-05 11:39:42 AM  
Do you know what this means? Gold comes from bacteria, and it has taken these tiny things billions of years to give us the gold that exists on this planet.

You aren't going to find gold on an asteroid, Mars or on any planet that doesn't have an atmosphere and a microbe that poops gold.
On a interstellar basis, we may be rich!

/Fort Knox is empty due to trading it off to the aliens for technology.
Heh, heh, heh.
 
2013-02-05 11:56:04 AM  
Patrick Tribett is reportedly awaiting further developments with bated breath!
 
2013-02-05 12:06:09 PM  

braedan: dittybopper: mercator_psi: dittybopper: Scientists discover bacteria that poops gold \

That's good.

Scientists also discover that bacteria is deadly to humans

That's bad

But they can genetically engineer it to be safe.

That's good.

But the end result is that it will poop frogurt instead of gold.

That's bad.

But hey, free frogurt!

That's good.

Unfortunately, it will only poop cursed frogurt.

That's bad.

Luckily, there is a priest who specializes in removing curses from frogurt.

That's good.

He's also a pedophile.

That's bad.

The pedophile contains sodium benzoate.

That's good.

The pedophile also contains monosodium glutamate.

That's bad.

So...does it come with a free topping...because that would be good....


Yes, but the topping contains Aspartame and BPA, which is bad.
 
2013-02-05 01:32:07 PM  
 
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