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(C|Net)   One third of American adults will send an e-card on Valentine's Day. In other news, two thirds of American adults will not be having sex on Valentine's Day   (news.cnet.com) divider line 46
    More: Interesting, Valentine's Day, American adults, ditches  
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340 clicks; posted to Business » on 05 Feb 2013 at 12:48 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-05 11:52:52 AM
I already know I will not be having the sex on Valentines.  But I'm still not sending ecards.
 
2013-02-05 12:52:51 PM
A e-card could get you a steamy pat on the back, or a sexy dead fish handshake from the opposite sex!

I'm in!
 
2013-02-05 12:56:04 PM

Diogenes: I already know I will not be having the sex on Valentines.  But I'm still not sending ecards.


Of course you won't when you have that attitude. Be positive, a lot can happen in 9 days!
 
2013-02-05 12:58:39 PM
Why would I be sending an e-card to anyone on Single People Awareness Day?

/cue the The Oatmeal comic telling me to stop my damn whining
 
2013-02-05 01:03:03 PM
I plan to go all out on Valentine's day! I want to set the bar high for March 14th.

/plus, it's also the wife's birthday
 
2013-02-05 01:14:16 PM
An e-card? Yeah, I'd prefer to spend Feb. 15th with my balls still attached to my person - thankyouverymuch.
 
2013-02-05 01:26:04 PM
I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.
 
2013-02-05 01:30:40 PM
uh oh... valentine's day is like 2 days after mardi gras...

yeah, i don't think i'm going to be doing anything special for the wife, and I have a feeling, she won't want anything special, other than maybe some service while we both think about all the nonsense that just transpired the week before in a state of dazed bewilderment.
 
2013-02-05 01:31:40 PM

FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.


Try nothing.  We've been doing that for 20 years.  Works like a charm.
 
2013-02-05 01:40:46 PM

FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.


Weekend getaway. Bed and breakfast. Do it the week after Valentine's Day to save some dough.
 
2013-02-05 01:46:13 PM
Hmmm...ecard or sex...

I guess it all depends on which viruses you like.
 
2013-02-05 01:50:49 PM
Unless its been built from scratch an e-card is not getting you laid. Although if you're able to program that from scratch you might not have a girlfriend.

/Or you're a creepy stalker.
 
2013-02-05 01:57:53 PM
Many of the 2/3rds will send e-cards.
 
2013-02-05 02:03:26 PM

Supes: FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.

Weekend getaway. Bed and breakfast. Do it the week after Valentine's Day to save some dough.


Thanks. I just spent $800 to book a trip to Florida in May, but I am still considering the weekend getaway too.
 
2013-02-05 02:21:59 PM
Is subby implying that if you do send an e-card, you will be getting sex?  Or is subby just bad at math?

/confused
 
2013-02-05 02:29:30 PM

brandent: FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.

Try nothing.  We've been doing that for 20 years.  Works like a charm.


This. My wife and I don't get each other gifts. If one of us wants something, we'll generally get it (we have reasonable wants, which is necessary for this to work, of course), but gifts just seem silly.
 
2013-02-05 02:40:13 PM
An e-card? What, was getting her a Twix bar on the way home from work out of your price range?
 
2013-02-05 02:40:16 PM

YixilTesiphon: brandent: FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.

Try nothing.  We've been doing that for 20 years.  Works like a charm.

This. My wife and I don't get each other gifts. If one of us wants something, we'll generally get it (we have reasonable wants, which is necessary for this to work, of course), but gifts just seem silly.


Same here.

We've just both mutually agreed that rather than wasting money for gifts on V-Day/Christmas/B-Days  we would both allocate the money towards a getaway together at some point during the year.
 
2013-02-05 02:50:42 PM

FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.


Try sticking it in the butt. Either way, your night will be more interesting than it was previously.
 
2013-02-05 03:05:08 PM
I did my Valentine's Day shopping on Groupon. A Flirty Apron and black diamond earrings. Spent $40 (a $205 value!), and I know I'll get at least $40 in sex.

Works for me.
 
2013-02-05 03:19:13 PM

GodlikeMole: I did my Valentine's Day shopping on Groupon. A Flirty Apron and black diamond earrings. Spent $40 (a $205 value!), and I know I'll get at least $40 in sex.

Works for me.


You're going to be sorely disappointed with the earrings. They're crap. They call them 1/2 carat, but it's actually 1/2 carat  total, so each stone is only 1/4 carat. Which is tiny.
 
2013-02-05 03:46:14 PM

InmanRoshi: YixilTesiphon: brandent: FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.

Try nothing.  We've been doing that for 20 years.  Works like a charm.

This. My wife and I don't get each other gifts. If one of us wants something, we'll generally get it (we have reasonable wants, which is necessary for this to work, of course), but gifts just seem silly.

Same here.

We've just both mutually agreed that rather than wasting money for gifts on V-Day/Christmas/B-Days  we would both allocate the money towards a getaway together at some point during the year.


We do Christmas and birthdays. Usually Birthdays are just going out to dinner though. We haven't done the other halmark holidays like valentines day in about 10 years.
 
2013-02-05 03:47:38 PM

PsyLord: Is subby implying that if you do send an e-card, you will be getting sex?  Or is subby just bad at math?

/confused


This headline confuses me also. It seems to imply the ones who sent e-cards (1/3) will be getting the sex the ones who didn't send e-cards aren't getting (2/3).

E-cards as a prerequisite for sex? WTF is this shiat? Where are there women so impressed by the .5 seconds it takes to send the equivalent of an email that they are willing to have sex because of it?
 
2013-02-05 04:26:41 PM

Supes: GodlikeMole: I did my Valentine's Day shopping on Groupon. A Flirty Apron and black diamond earrings. Spent $40 (a $205 value!), and I know I'll get at least $40 in sex.

Works for me.

You're going to be sorely disappointed with the earrings. They're crap. They call them 1/2 carat, but it's actually 1/2 carat  total, so each stone is only 1/4 carat. Which is tiny.


Well, at least I got the apron. That's at least $15 worth of sex.
 
2013-02-05 04:47:23 PM

FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.


Try getting her a blender or maybe a vacume cleaner, the bestest would be exercise equipment.
 
2013-02-05 04:48:53 PM
Am I the only one that gets burned on the "romantic" dinners?  Cause when we go out, we eat, then are so full afterwards that she's usually not in the mood for some sexy time.
 
2013-02-05 04:55:05 PM

Saiga410: FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.

Try getting her a blender or maybe a vacume cleaner, the bestest would be exercise equipment.


Or a scale
 
2013-02-05 04:58:47 PM
I think subby's math is wrong.  The 1/3 sending cards will get no sex, but the 1/3 receiving them may salvage the day nonetheless.  I'd put the no sex portion at about 1/2.
 
2013-02-05 05:14:11 PM
1% of the e-card recipients have 99% of the sex.

Occupy 123Greetings.
 
2013-02-05 05:46:15 PM
"Keep your hands...to your self."
i21.photobucket.com
"The answer was with us the whole time."
 
2013-02-05 05:54:16 PM
I give out a crapload of valentines, just like when I was a little kid. It's fun and I like doing it.
 
2013-02-05 06:00:00 PM

likefunbutnot: I give out a crapload of valentines, just like when I was a little kid. It's fun and I like doing it.


Do you drive your free candy van when you do this?
 
2013-02-05 06:09:22 PM
A toaster or an iron make fine Valentine's Day presents.
 
2013-02-05 06:16:09 PM

PsyLord: Do you drive your free candy van when you do this?


likefunbutnot.org


/Actually there's a story here: I asked a young lady out. She thought I was about 25. I thought she was about 25. It turned out that the age difference was rather more substantial.
//We still go out though.
///She thought my costume was hilarious.
 
2013-02-05 08:07:41 PM
My birthday is two weeks later, so V-day is a non-starter.
 
2013-02-05 08:11:17 PM
My other is off on travel on the 14th.  She'd probably have enjoyed more V-day stuff than I've done for her in the past, but I don't think any of that has paid off in sex on that day anyway.  Don't care - we've been married over 15 years had plenty of fun whenever we're both in the mood, which is often enough.  Though *she* might enjoy the contrivances of manufactured holidays, I'm just not there and she knows that.  She's also the good money manager in the family and can't really complain when I *don't* blow money on BS.
 
2013-02-05 09:00:16 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Why would I be sending an e-card to anyone on Single People Awareness Day?

/cue the The Oatmeal comic telling me to stop my damn whining


C'mon, get aboard the SPAD train!  U know U want 2!
 
2013-02-05 11:27:13 PM
So, I think what virgin subtard is trying to imply is that 1/3 of us will send an e-card, the other two thirds won't get laid on Valentine's day.

Well subtard, I'm here to tell you that neither scenario applies to me, so GFY.

/no ecards
//getting laid
///unlike subtard
 
2013-02-05 11:38:34 PM
Flowers ever week of the year.

Take her to dinner once a week minimum.

Disney World for Valentine's Day.

Did I mention I don't lack for any kind of sexy time?

/Totally worth the effort.
 
2013-02-06 12:43:57 AM

brandent: FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.

Try nothing.  We've been doing that for 20 years.  Works like a charm.


I think you have the right idea. The virus-like gift-giving culture is a scam. We live together and occasionally we fark. You want a gift? Did you earn one?
 
2013-02-06 03:05:26 AM
My wife and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day at all. We take ourselves out to dinner on or near Feb 5th (which is the anniversary of the day we met) and we ignore Valentine's completely.

/and yes I usually get me some sex
//but we're grandparents so you don't want to hear about it
 
2013-02-06 04:51:43 AM
I'll be fixing the cable.
 
2013-02-06 06:52:11 AM
isn't it a little early to be planning who you're going to be porking a week and a half from now?
 
2013-02-06 08:46:56 AM

FarkingReading: I did jewelry for her for Christmas. I bought housewares-type crap for her January birthday.

Last Valentine's Day, I gave her a gift certificate for a professional massage.

My mom just gave her a gift card for a manicure and pedicure for her birthday.

I have no new ideas.

Somebody help me.


If you have to give gifts to your wife to get sex, you married a whore.
 
2013-02-06 08:52:32 AM
Pfft..  Like I have to send an e-card to not get laid.


so lonely...
 
2013-02-06 10:00:46 AM

casual disregard: We live together and occasionally we fark. You want a gift? Did you earn one?


Holy crap that sounds awful.
 
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