FARK.com: (7574382) Thief walks out of Costco with 24 bottles of motor oil wrapped around his body. No word on if it hit his anus

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Thief walks out of Costco with 24 bottles of motor oil wrapped around his body. No word on if it hit his anus (consumerist.com)		28
		More: Amusing, Costco, warehouse store

• • •

4438 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2013 at 8:34 PM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/7574382

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

28 Comments (+0 »)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

calbert		2013-02-04 07:52:35 PM

Mr. Fuzzypaws		2013-02-04 08:11:50 PM

And we're done here.

syrynxx		2013-02-04 08:21:33 PM

I can't believe he didn't give 'em the slip.

Smeggy Smurf		2013-02-04 08:36:21 PM

He thought he'd be real slick pulling off this stunt till he slipped up

PhiloeBedoe		2013-02-04 08:36:56 PM

calbert: [farm5.staticflickr.com image 640x400]

Mr. Fuzzypaws: And we're done here.

Just another Heartland Weirdass		2013-02-04 08:44:43 PM

What a grease ball.

Full Blown Jimbo		2013-02-04 08:45:02 PM

Most sites that get hacked have everything back up and running in a day or two. Why has The Consumerist been screwed up since September? The stuffy comments were the funniest part.

skinink		2013-02-04 08:45:45 PM

"Nothing for me today, thanks."

www.costaricantimes.com

MagicMissile		2013-02-04 08:50:41 PM

Stop being greedy and lower the gas prices.

elchip		2013-02-04 08:52:17 PM

For the uninitiated

Zarquon's Flat Tire		2013-02-04 08:55:08 PM

Dear Consumerist,

Today I was at Costco and bird had flown into the store. It shat on my shoulder so I stole 24 bottles of motor oil. Then they tried to stop me, and I dropped several bottles while leaving before they had me arrested on my way home!

How much voting stock in the company do you figure they owe me?

elchip		2013-02-04 08:55:17 PM

If I keep on drinkin', the oil's gonna hit the anus
If I keep on drinkin', the oil's gonna hit the anus
When the oil his the anus, my ass is gonna itch

calbert		2013-02-04 08:56:02 PM

elchip: For the uninitiated

it was rolled out last week also:

New study highlights damaging effects of deep-fried foods on the prostate, especially when the oil hits the anus

Dead for Tax Reasons		2013-02-04 09:05:08 PM

Dumbass, mobil1 was on sale there this month

15 dollarcat		2013-02-04 09:31:13 PM

he might want to use it as tanning oil like those gypsy girls

Day_Old_Dutchie		2013-02-04 09:36:19 PM

the oily boid catches the woim.

evilsofa		2013-02-04 10:59:17 PM

24 bottles of Tide would have been more impressive. Though I'll admit he wouldn't have made it 8 blocks with those.

the_vegetarian_cannibal		2013-02-04 11:21:21 PM

Welcome to Costco. I love you.

litespeed74		2013-02-04 11:28:30 PM

But how did he get past HIGHLIGHTER RECEIPT GUY!!?????

lack of warmth		2013-02-04 11:50:53 PM

Don't worry, they'll get there chance to catch him again in a few months. Or sooner if he forgot the filter.

litespeed74: But how did he get past HIGHLIGHTER RECEIPT GUY!!?????

He used a Slick Willie line, and the guy bought it.

just_another_asshole/jaa		2013-02-05 12:39:53 AM

Somewhat more impressive is this guy from the story at bottom of the page;

Man In Cow Suit Steals 26 Gallons Of Milk From Walmart_{But this can be said for both stories;}

The greatest crime here is that there is no surveillance footage of the theft.

just_another_asshole/jaa		2013-02-05 12:41:03 AM

Well I screwed that up real nice like!

Smeggy Smurf		2013-02-05 01:01:59 AM

elchip: For the uninitiated

I had forgotten about that. Now I need a new keyboard, monitor and Mrs. Smurf is giving me the evil eye

billyidolrules		2013-02-05 01:55:02 AM

elchip: For the uninitiated

That was insightful, amusing, and helpful in understanding the headline. Would read again.

/bookmarked

IWood		2013-02-05 02:52:01 AM

elchip: For the uninitiated

I was there for that. Which reminds me that this is the place on the interweb that I've been the longest, and that I'm eight years closer to death.

Bastard.

Munchkin City Coroner		2013-02-05 03:23:22 AM

Thief walks out of Costco with 24 bottles of motor oil wrapped around his body. No word on if it hit his anus

Your mom hit motor oil...wait

A thief walked out on your mom with 24 bottles of...no

His oiled anus wrapped around your mom! Ha!

some_beer_drinker		2013-02-05 06:47:28 AM

Munchkin City Coroner: Thief walks out of Costco with 24 bottles of motor oil wrapped around his body. No word on if it hit his anus

Your mom hit motor oil...wait

A thief walked out on your mom with 24 bottles of...no

His oiled anus wrapped around your mom! Ha!

lol, wut? have another drink