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(USA Today)   It gets better. Here comes the science   (usatoday.com ) divider line
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9567 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Feb 2013 at 5:09 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-05 04:11:30 AM  
My brother used to get bullied until I kicked a few people's butts. My older brother mind you.
There's something to be said for the old school scheme of making friends who can protect you. There's more to it than stopping the bullying. There's also forcing some people to engage because there are other dangers to choosing to be an outcast.
 
2013-02-05 05:43:34 AM  
HA! Good news is they aren't black!

/farkin' racist Europeans
 
2013-02-05 05:45:36 AM  
It's all about diversity.

De longer you are here, di verse it gets!
 
2013-02-05 05:47:52 AM  

RookStar: HA! Good news is they aren't black!

/farkin' racist Europeans


Damn, I guess 2 pints of vodak isn't doing me much good tonight. In the slashies, i didn't mean I'm actually farking racists. Oh god. I better just farkin pass out now. What have I done....

/I dislike bigots
 
2013-02-05 06:23:37 AM  
i was bullied back in the day before gays.  so it was always "because of my lame hair"
now if i was bullied i'd naturally assume it was due to my sexual orientation?  i'm a pan sexual.  i fark bread.  get over it
 
2013-02-05 07:06:00 AM  

doglover: EVERYONE gets bullied in high school.


No.

Bullying isn't a bad day at school. Bullying is an environment. You clearly don't know what you're talking about. Most kids are NOT bullied.
 
2013-02-05 07:07:10 AM  

jso2897: Bullies are cowards - they don't like victims who hit back.


Sad but true. Just make sure the teachers don't see you hitting back.
 
2013-02-05 07:34:32 AM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: doglover: Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying?

But then gays would just be normal people and they'd have to give back navel gazing as a career option.

You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life. Instead you'd be just another normal kid who was bullied in highschool because you weren't 100% median.

I know you're being snarky, but there's also a lot to what you said. I've got several gay friends. Or at least friends that I very strongly suspect of being gay. But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces). The "I'M GAY AND PROUD OF IT" crowd are exactly the same as the "I'M A MAAAAANNNNN AND INTIMATELY FONDLE MY biatch coont IN PUBLIC AND WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" Sex should be private; you're not a rutting dog in heat. It's simple politeness.

 I see you don't understand human intimacy or friendship. Please, allow me to facilitate an understanding of how people work.
Most normal human beings who are friends with another human being will, from time to time, mention various aspects of their personal lives. One aspect that is frequently a part of the shared knowledge between friends is the relationship status of each member of the friendship: Married, single, dating someone, etc. Often, people will even go so far as to mention activities that they have engaged in with their romantic partner to friends, and often these activities will include, in passing, a reference to the romantic partner's gender. An observant friend might note this and then be able to draw a rough idea of their friend's sexual orientation by knowing both the gender of their friend and their friend's romantic partner.There exists a spectrum from Acceptable ways to discuss things one has done with a partner to Unacceptable things that really don't enter into most friendships (though some people may be more or less open to sharing - each individual will have a different judgment of what is and isn't acceptable).Generally Acceptable: "Yeah, my boyfriend and I went to see the Avengers; he liked it a lot, but he's a major comic fan. I thought it was OK, I guess." (said by a male friend)Generally Acceptable: "Why yes, my wife is taking 90 days maternity leave - it's really great she can take this time!" (said by a male friend)
Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "So Phil's cock was just POUNDING my ass, and I mean HARD, to the point where it actually hurt when our balls collided, but jesus I came so hard!"Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "Yeah, so I go down on Stacey and it's dark and I'm like, woah, she's way wetter than normal - long story short, she's raggin', but I got my red-wings, then I rammed my cock in her to fark her proper!"According to your comments, I can only assume that you and your friends are absolutely androgynous and would never be so gauche as to mention having a significant other, let alone giving any indication what-so-ever of their gender. Personally, I would find that a rather barren friendship (and would likely classify that relationship as "passing acquaintance"), but if it works for you, that's fine. Or, perhaps, you are an alien visitor and really have no understanding at all of basic human interactions - in that case, please, welcome in peace to Earth.
 
2013-02-05 08:42:51 AM  

Hickory-smoked: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces).


[www.brides.com image 629x384]
What shoving your heterosexuality in other people's faces might look like


Not talking about things like that. I don't have a problem with gays getting married, holding hands, showing respectful affection to each other in public, etc. etc. What I DO have a problem with, and my wife also, - with both gays and straights - is the over the top bullshiat. You know exactly what I mean. We have all seen it (with both ngays and straights). Like if some guy is squeezing his girl's crotch in public. It's not me being an uptight prude, it's me objecting to someone treating their S.O. like an object while screaming "look at me" to the whole farking world.

I'd go on, but gym in 26 minutes etc. Seriously; got an appointment.
 
2013-02-05 08:47:31 AM  

metztli: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: doglover: Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying?

But then gays would just be normal people and they'd have to give back navel gazing as a career option.

You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life. Instead you'd be just another normal kid who was bullied in highschool because you weren't 100% median.

I know you're being snarky, but there's also a lot to what you said. I've got several gay friends. Or at least friends that I very strongly suspect of being gay. But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces). The "I'M GAY AND PROUD OF IT" crowd are exactly the same as the "I'M A MAAAAANNNNN AND INTIMATELY FONDLE MY biatch coont IN PUBLIC AND WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" Sex should be private; you're not a rutting dog in heat. It's simple politeness.
 I see you don't understand human intimacy or friendship. Please, allow me to facilitate an understanding of how people work.
Most normal human beings who are friends with another human being will, from time to time, mention various aspects of their personal lives. One aspect that is frequently a part of the shared knowledge between friends is the relationship status of each member of the friendship: Married, single, dating someone, etc. Often, people will even go so far as to mention activities that they have engaged in with their romantic partner to friends, and often these activities will include, in passing, a reference to the romantic partner's gender. An observant friend might note this and then be able to draw a rough idea of their friend's sexual orientation by knowing both the gender of their friend and their friend's romantic partner.There exists a spectrum from Acceptable ways to discuss things one has done with a partner to Unacceptable things that really don't enter into most friendships (though some people may be more or less open to sharing - each individual will have a different judgment of what is and isn't acceptable).Generally Acceptable: "Yeah, my boyfriend and I went to see the Avengers; he liked it a lot, but he's a major comic fan. I thought it was OK, I guess." (said by a male friend)Generally Acceptable: "Why yes, my wife is taking 90 days maternity leave - it's really great she can take this time!" (said by a male friend)
Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "So Phil's cock was just POUNDING my ass, and I mean HARD, to the point where it actually hurt when our balls collided, but jesus I came so hard!"Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "Yeah, so I go down on Stacey and it's dark and I'm like, woah, she's way wetter than normal - long story short, she's raggin', but I got my red-wings, then I rammed my cock in her to fark her proper!"According to your comments, I can only assume that you and your friends are absolutely androgynous and would never be so gauche as to mention having a significant other, let alone giving any indication what-so-ever of their gender. Personally, I would find that a rather barren friendship (and would likely classify that relationship as "passing acquaintance"), but if it works for you, that's fine. Or, perhaps, you are an alien visitor and really have no understanding at all of basic human interactions - in that case, please, welcome in peace to Earth.


??? Not sure what your point is about me not understanding this. Maybe I wasn't clear. what you describe - the range, generally acceptable vs unacceptable - is exactly what I'm talking about. From what I can see we have no disagreement.
 
2013-02-05 09:15:08 AM  
If you are trying to help someone the truth generally doesn't work.

Truth: You'll get used to it.

vs

Sales pitch: It gets better!
 
2013-02-05 10:21:56 AM  

Wholesale Ass: Smeggy Smurf: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

Isn't threadshiatting in memorial threads enough for you?

No. Want to have sex?


Sure.  I'll get you drunk and let a hungry calf suckle you down to a nub.  It's your call stubby
 
2013-02-05 11:21:49 AM  

turbidum: Sadly, according to TFA, it does not necessarily get better:

"It gets better for lesbian and bisexual females, relatively, but for gay and bisexual males, relative to their straight male peers, it gets worse after high school," says study author Joseph Robinson, assistant professor of educational psychology at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. "Their rates of being bullied are not dropping as quickly."


What? First it says "it gets worse" then it says "not dropping as quickly"? I don't see how it could get worse after high school since you finally get to have some say in the type of people you hang around.
 
2013-02-05 11:57:09 AM  
It gets WAY better after high school.

I never understood why high school is made out to be this great experience when college is several orders of magnitude cooler.

High school *is* fun, but it has its limitations.  You're stuck in your school.  You're stuck in your town.  You're stuck at home.  You're still a teenager and get treated like one.  Your parents know your every move.  You can't bring anybody home for fun, or if you do, you have to be sneakier than James Bond to get away with anything.  High school in some ways is like a minimum security jail.  With your parents there.  You can still get detention, you can still get grounded.  Eff that!

When you go to college, everything changes.  You have at least some money.  It matters a whole lot less what your parents tell you to do, or what they think.  College is the great escape!  You probably have a car, or if not, know how to get by without one.  In college you can do stuff like book motel rooms and buy plane tickets to San Francisco Pride or The White Party without anyone but your and your friends knowing you're going.  You can legally get into clubs.  "Bullies" magically learn to step the f*ck off because felony assault charges suck.  You learn to excel academically, and collaborate with others doing the same.  You graduate with a degree in something cool, and you suddenly have significant money.  You meet the most fantastic friends in college.  The "hotties" in high school are nothing compared to the hotties in college.  18 is good.  25 is the deal.

And probably the most important - your mind fully develops in college.  In high school, you aren't quite put together upstairs yet.

Once you can truly think, the world is yours.
 
2013-02-06 01:21:40 AM  
Is abstract societal concepts had guns this wouldn't happen.
 
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