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9563 clicks; posted to Geek » on 04 Feb 2013 at 5:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-04 04:42:33 PM  
High school students who identify as lesbian, gay and bisexual tend to face higher rates of bullying in school than their heterosexual peers. But a new study suggests that things get better for these young people, with harassment declining as they get older and leave school.

Well one would farking hope so!
 
2013-02-04 05:16:55 PM  
Well, duh. I was bullied as a kid, too - but when I hit fifteen, shot up to 6'4" and put on 50 lbs. and acquired a testosterone-influenced personality, the bullying stopped in a New York second.
Bullies are cowards - they don't like victims who hit back.
 
2013-02-04 05:20:21 PM  
Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying? Not trying to downplay the LGBT community and how they are treated by cowardly shiatfarktards. I'm just saying, I was bullied as a child and it got better. I was just bullied because I had asshole alpha mail dipshiats in my neighborhood that liked to assert their authori-tie
 
2013-02-04 05:38:51 PM  
Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.
 
2013-02-04 05:41:52 PM  

Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying?


But then gays would just be normal people and they'd have to give back navel gazing as a career option.

You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life. Instead you'd be just another normal kid who was bullied in highschool because you weren't 100% median.
 
2013-02-04 05:46:06 PM  
What's not getting better?  This thread.
 
2013-02-04 05:46:37 PM  

doglover: You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life.


Sounds like someone's an expert on other people's lives.
 
2013-02-04 05:51:47 PM  

MrEricSir: doglover: You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life.

Sounds like someone's an expert on other people's lives.


probably a bit more spot on than TFA, anyway.
 
2013-02-04 05:57:21 PM  
Paging No Shiat Sherlock.  That's true for a lot of people.  But one's responses learned from earlier bullying don't go away, and that profoundly affects social interaction throughout life.
 
2013-02-04 06:00:32 PM  

Counter_Intelligent: Paging No Shiat Sherlock.  That's true for a lot of people.  But one's responses learned from earlier bullying don't go away, and that profoundly affects social interaction throughout life.


You need to stop doing the wrong thing.
 
2013-02-04 06:04:16 PM  

Obbi: MrEricSir: doglover: You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life.

Sounds like someone's an expert on other people's lives.

probably a bit more spot on than TFA, anyway.


Right?

EVERYONE gets bullied in high school. The more different you are, the more you get bullied. If 30% of people are gay, they're gonna get picked on. If 30% of people aren't gay, conversely, THEY'LL get picked on instead. You see this in places like Provincetown, where life for straights is analogous to life for gays in the south.

On the other hand, in big big cities like San Francisco you can be whatever you want because there's such a mix that everyone is a minority or a majority depending on superficial details like what side of the street you're on, but being a bigot is unwelcome anywhere in town.

You're not special by being different then getting picked on in school. You're actually very normal.
 
2013-02-04 06:07:03 PM  

Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying? Not trying to downplay the LGBT community and how they are treated by cowardly shiatfarktards. I'm just saying, I was bullied as a child and it got better. I was just bullied because I had asshole alpha mail dipshiats in my neighborhood that liked to assert their authori-tie



I was thinking the same thing. It's pretty much what I'd expect too, being as that's pretty much normal for people in general. Kids bully each other, when they grow up it tapers off.

Human beings: we're dicks to each other.
 
2013-02-04 06:27:11 PM  

doglover: Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying?

But then gays would just be normal people and they'd have to give back navel gazing as a career option.

You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life. Instead you'd be just another normal kid who was bullied in highschool because you weren't 100% median.


The only reason gays are "special" in terms of the bullying issue is that  gay youth are 5 times more likely to commit suicide than their straight counterparts and 20-40% of homeless youth are LGBT (presumably due to being thrown out of their homes).  The big difference is that while your average dork can get love and comfort at home, many queer kids are bullied in their homes, in their community and in their churches, in addition to being bullied in school.

The entire point of the It Gets Better Project is to connect depressed kids to queer adults that will convince them to survive until they're 18 where they can finally enjoy the "normal people" status that adults will grant them.  That's it.
 
2013-02-04 06:30:28 PM  
I remember what my Dad told me and what I tell other kids that get picked on, complain to the authorities and document it with them. When it happens again go off on them like did, being the kid that had to wear gloves and long sleeves because of allergies. Jump up on the leader and bite a chunk of flesh off and then jump on the next guy and do the same until the teachers pull you off.

Then you can point to the documentation and say you were defending yourself and threaten to sue the school if they try to discipline you. They could've prevented it. No more bullies will mess with you. If more kids did this the authorities will come down harder and faster on the bullies instead of the kids will be kids mentality.
 
2013-02-04 06:33:39 PM  

Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.


i'm not sure you understand how that works
 
2013-02-04 06:35:49 PM  
later in life you don't come in contact with as many people and as many of the same people over and over again 5 days a week like you do while in school. and if you do get bullied you can do what you want. move,quit, don't shop there, find a job where you practically work alone, etc...
 
2013-02-04 06:37:46 PM  
I don't think it's so much that gay kids are bullied more than usual as that they're also a vanishingly small minority most places, so they're stacking a lot of sexual frustration on top of the normal bullying everyone gets.  Plus, they tend to have issues with family rejection as well.  Both of those things are going to make you jumpy and make you overreact to what someone with a girlfriend and a stable home life would regard as just some random classmates being dicks.

Either way, not gonna argue with programs that offer free counseling to middle-school and high-school kids, whether their targeting is valid or not it's a valuable service.  And "just hold out until you're an adult and no one has the spare time to care about your personal life except a couple baptist preachers no one cares about" is honestly good advice for pretty much anyone.
 
2013-02-04 06:40:43 PM  

doglover: EVERYONE gets bullied in high school. The more different you are, the more you get bullied. If 30% of people are gay, they're gonna get picked on. If 30% of people aren't gay, conversely, THEY'LL get picked on instead. You see this in places like Provincetown, where life for straights is analogous to life for gays in the south.


2/10
 
2013-02-04 06:45:13 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Either way, not gonna argue with programs that offer free counseling to middle-school and high-school kids, whether their targeting is valid or not it's a valuable service.  And "just hold out until you're an adult and no one has the spare time to care about your personal life except a couple baptist preachers no one cares about" is honestly good advice for pretty much anyone.


You are absolutely correct.  Personal lives never enter into the day to day issues of your average high school student.  They show up to school, attend classes, and go home without entering into any social conversation with anyone else.

/curious how many suicides is acceptable to you before you start caring about programs to end bullying
//5 ok?  about 10 kids?  why don't we go with a nice even number of 50 dead kids before you start caring
 
2013-02-04 06:51:15 PM  

starlost: later in life you don't come in contact with as many people and as many of the same people over and over again 5 days a week like you do while in school. and if you do get bullied you can do what you want. move,quit, don't shop there, find a job where you practically work alone, etc...


You're also no longer forced to dwell in the testosterone-fueled petri dish of douchebaggery that is high school, where even the alleged authority figures tend to accept astonishing acts of assholery when they're performed by the chosen elites of the school hierarchy... jocks and attractive girls. Teachers expect kids to just "ignore" reprehensive, embarrassing and even violent behavior from their fellow students, even when that exact same behavior would result in legal action if it was one teacher doing it to another teacher.
 
2013-02-04 06:59:10 PM  

jso2897: Bullies are cowards - they don't like victims who hit back.


Yes, but that's not always what happens. If you fight back, then they'll come back with some friends. Or with a weapon. Sometimes just fighting back isn't enough.
 
2013-02-04 07:02:19 PM  

angrymacface: jso2897: Bullies are cowards - they don't like victims who hit back.

Yes, but that's not always what happens. If you fight back, then they'll come back with some friends. Or with a weapon. Sometimes just fighting back isn't enough.


Or the bullied parties bring the weapon first, then its a tragedy that needs to be dealt with by taking away guns?
Guns don't cause school shootings bullies do.

I have no sympathy for some of the victims of columbine,  when you bully people over the edge don't be surprised when they do something insane.
 
2013-02-04 07:05:06 PM  

Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.


In light of your log in name, this comment overflows with hilarity.
 
2013-02-04 07:05:31 PM  

some_beer_drinker: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

i'm not sure you understand how that works


Cumming from you I'd agree.
 
2013-02-04 07:06:34 PM  

LucklessWonder: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

In light of your log in name, this comment overflows with hilarity.


You are not going to get anywhere with me. I promise.
 
2013-02-04 07:07:37 PM  

angrymacface: jso2897: Bullies are cowards - they don't like victims who hit back.

Yes, but that's not always what happens. If you fight back, then they'll come back with some friends. Or with a weapon. Sometimes just fighting back isn't enough.


True - but to what , in my post, is that supposed to be a response? I was simply pointing out that as people grow older, larger, and more self-assertive, they tend to be bullied less - essentially the phenomenon TFA was discussing. I did not intend to suggest that "fighting back" is some sort of panacea that will end all bullying forever.
 
2013-02-04 07:10:40 PM  

Wholesale Ass: LucklessWonder: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

In light of your log in name, this comment overflows with hilarity.

You are not going to get anywhere with me. I promise.


Don't flatter yourself, sweetie, you are far below my standards.

/also, assuming you are male, I don't swing that way.
 
2013-02-04 07:11:49 PM  

LucklessWonder: Wholesale Ass: LucklessWonder: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

In light of your log in name, this comment overflows with hilarity.

You are not going to get anywhere with me. I promise.

Don't flatter yourself, sweetie, you are far below my standards.

/also, assuming you are male, I don't swing that way.


I voted your shiat, funny, because you are.
 
2013-02-04 07:15:50 PM  

Wholesale Ass: LucklessWonder: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

In light of your log in name, this comment overflows with hilarity.

You are not going to get anywhere with me. I promise.


i18.photobucket.com

A Smile in His Lifetime

Mokugen was never known to smile until his last day on earth. When his time came to pass away he said to his faithful ones: "You have studied under me for more than ten years. Show me your real interpretation of Zen. Whoever expresses this most clearly shall be my successor and receive my robe and bowl."
Everyone watched Mokugen's severe face, but no one answered.
Encho, a disciple who had been with his teacher for a long time, moved near the bedside. He pushed forward the medicine cup a few inches. That was his answer to the command.
The teacher's face became even more severe. "Is that all you understand?" he asked.
Encho reached out and moved the cup back again.
A beautiful smile broke over the features of Mokugen. "You rascal," he told Encho. "You worked with me ten years and have not yet seen my whole body. Take the robe and bowl. They belong to you."
 
2013-02-04 07:30:22 PM  

jso2897: Wholesale Ass: LucklessWonder: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

In light of your log in name, this comment overflows with hilarity.

You are not going to get anywhere with me. I promise.

[i18.photobucket.com image 400x382]

A Smile in His Lifetime

Mokugen was never known to smile until his last day on earth. When his time came to pass away he said to his faithful ones: "You have studied under me for more than ten years. Show me your real interpretation of Zen. Whoever expresses this most clearly shall be my successor and receive my robe and bowl."
Everyone watched Mokugen's severe face, but no one answered.
Encho, a disciple who had been with his teacher for a long time, moved near the bedside. He pushed forward the medicine cup a few inches. That was his answer to the command.
The teacher's face became even more severe. "Is that all you understand?" he asked.
Encho reached out and moved the cup back again.
A beautiful smile broke over the features of Mokugen. "You rascal," he told Encho. "You worked with me ten years and have not yet seen my whole body. Take the robe and bowl. They belong to you."



My gaydar is magnetic.
 
2013-02-04 07:37:04 PM  

Wholesale Ass: jso2897: Wholesale Ass: LucklessWonder: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

In light of your log in name, this comment overflows with hilarity.

You are not going to get anywhere with me. I promise.

[i18.photobucket.com image 400x382]

A Smile in His Lifetime

Mokugen was never known to smile until his last day on earth. When his time came to pass away he said to his faithful ones: "You have studied under me for more than ten years. Show me your real interpretation of Zen. Whoever expresses this most clearly shall be my successor and receive my robe and bowl."
Everyone watched Mokugen's severe face, but no one answered.
Encho, a disciple who had been with his teacher for a long time, moved near the bedside. He pushed forward the medicine cup a few inches. That was his answer to the command.
The teacher's face became even more severe. "Is that all you understand?" he asked.
Encho reached out and moved the cup back again.
A beautiful smile broke over the features of Mokugen. "You rascal," he told Encho. "You worked with me ten years and have not yet seen my whole body. Take the robe and bowl. They belong to you."


My gaydar is magnetic.


F**kin' gaydar....how does it work?
 
2013-02-04 08:32:34 PM  

Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.


Isn't threadshiatting in memorial threads enough for you?
 
2013-02-04 08:59:34 PM  

Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying? Not trying to downplay the LGBT community and how they are treated by cowardly shiatfarktards. I'm just saying, I was bullied as a child and it got better. I was just bullied because I had asshole alpha mail dipshiats in my neighborhood that liked to assert their authori-tie


4-18 yrs old.  Kids will be kids. Deal with it. It will make you stronger. Bullies will stop if you ignore them

18-Dead; You can sue the farkers for harassment and clear them out.
 
2013-02-04 09:13:06 PM  
www.myfacewhen.net
Bullying decreases after high school.  News at 11!
 
2013-02-04 09:17:50 PM  
Those gheys should just give up the booty
 
2013-02-04 10:06:54 PM  
Sadly, according to TFA, it does not necessarily get better:

"It gets better for lesbian and bisexual females, relatively, but for gay and bisexual males, relative to their straight male peers, it gets worse after high school," says study author Joseph Robinson, assistant professor of educational psychology at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. "Their rates of being bullied are not dropping as quickly."
 
2013-02-04 10:18:43 PM  

Cythraul: High school students who identify as lesbian, gay and bisexual tend to face higher rates of bullying in school than their heterosexual peers. But a new study suggests that things get better for these young people, with harassment declining as they get older and leave school.

Well one would farking hope so!



no shiat.  I can't see adults bullying other adults. I mean, grow the fark up.

I wish you could tell everyone out there that it will get better.
 
2013-02-04 10:39:16 PM  

Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying? Not trying to downplay the LGBT community and how they are treated by cowardly shiatfarktards. I'm just saying, I was bullied as a child and it got better. I was just bullied because I had asshole alpha mail dipshiats in my neighborhood that liked to assert their authori-tie


Let me guess. You were bullied due to your spelling deficiencies?
 
2013-02-04 10:44:47 PM  

Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying? Not trying to downplay the LGBT community and how they are treated by cowardly shiatfarktards. I'm just saying, I was bullied as a child and it got better. I was just bullied because I had asshole alpha mail dipshiats in my neighborhood that liked to assert their authori-tie


The article kinda-sorta hits on that. It gets better for everyone, but gay people still have a higher rate of harassment than straights during and after high school.
 
2013-02-04 11:51:37 PM  

doglover: Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying?

But then gays would just be normal people and they'd have to give back navel gazing as a career option.

You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life. Instead you'd be just another normal kid who was bullied in highschool because you weren't 100% median.


I know you're being snarky, but there's also a lot to what you said. I've got several gay friends. Or at least friends that I very strongly suspect of being gay. But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces). The "I'M GAY AND PROUD OF IT" crowd are exactly the same as the "I'M A MAAAAANNNNN AND INTIMATELY FONDLE MY biatch coont IN PUBLIC AND WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" Sex should be private; you're not a rutting dog in heat. It's simple politeness.
 
2013-02-05 12:38:24 AM  

jso2897: angrymacface: jso2897: Bullies are cowards - they don't like victims who hit back.

Yes, but that's not always what happens. If you fight back, then they'll come back with some friends. Or with a weapon. Sometimes just fighting back isn't enough.

True - but to what , in my post, is that supposed to be a response? I was simply pointing out that as people grow older, larger, and more self-assertive, they tend to be bullied less - essentially the phenomenon TFA was discussing. I did not intend to suggest that "fighting back" is some sort of panacea that will end all bullying forever.


It was actually really close to the response I was going to make to your post.  Plenty of bullies continue to bully despite their targets fighting back. I beat one up in high school, later got beat up by him and friends, and then nearly ended up expelled because of a zero tolerance policy.  

In the first fight the bully and I got equal punishment despite him hitting me first.  In the second fight it was my word against the dickbag's that he was even involved.  So I got hit with the fighting penalty and his friends did.  I asked the VP of the school wtf was up with him taking the word of the group of people who were picking on me.  I compared it to cops taking a gang member's alibi as truth.  He said that was just the way it was.  So from then until the rest of the year, I would have been expelled if I fought back again against the original bully.  Still pisses me off to this day.  Meanwhile, out in the real world, if you physically assault another person you get your just desserts of jail time and a lawsuit.  Now obviously when I say beat up I don't mean hospitalized or anything, but nobody, of any age, has the right to make another person bleed for their own amusement.
 
2013-02-05 12:51:21 AM  

doglover: EVERYONE gets bullied in high school. The more different you are, the more you get bullied. If 30% of people are gay, they're gonna get picked on. If 30% of people aren't gay, conversely, THEY'LL get picked on instead. You see this in places like Provincetown, where life for straights is analogous to life for gays in the south.


meatballcandy.com
 
2013-02-05 12:55:42 AM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces).



www.brides.com 
What shoving your heterosexuality in other people's faces might look like
 
2013-02-05 01:13:16 AM  
Growing up gay has never been easy, but does have some memorable moments:

- First acknowledgement from another gay kid.
- Coming out to your parents.
- First real Friends.
- First experiences with said Friends.
- Coming out to cool kids and finding that some are way cooler than you imagined.
- First time at an off-the-hook pride party.
- First time punching a bully so hard his face stops your fist the way a home run ball stops a bat.
- First time at an off-the-hook after party.
- Moving away to college and getting more action than a Manhattan pimp.
- Shagging someone you thought was two leages above you and finding out they really like you too.
 
2013-02-05 01:20:46 AM  
It gets better if you get the hell out and make a life for yourself.  It doesn't get better if you stay in the same place with the same people who have treated you like shiat your whole life.
 
2013-02-05 01:24:00 AM  

doglover: You see this in places like Provincetown, where life for straights is analogous to life for gays in the south.


How does this even occur, that the majority of high school kids are gay?

Of course, I need to remind myself just who it is I'm asking to support their claims here.
 
2013-02-05 01:45:27 AM  

gingerjet: What's not getting better?  This thread.


I think the global warming trolls are the only ones that click the geek tab.
 
2013-02-05 01:59:51 AM  

studebaker hoch: - Shagging someone you thought was two leages above you and finding out they really like you too.


Hey queers, you can't steal that one from us! It's both of ours :P
 
2013-02-05 02:18:13 AM  
It does get better. Some of my best friends (and one really flamboyant cousin I love to hang out with) are gay. Assclowns don't matter.

I'm a firm believer in the Kinsey research - everyone is a little bit homosexual.
 
2013-02-05 03:20:19 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

Isn't threadshiatting in memorial threads enough for you?


No. Want to have sex?
 
2013-02-05 04:11:30 AM  
My brother used to get bullied until I kicked a few people's butts. My older brother mind you.
There's something to be said for the old school scheme of making friends who can protect you. There's more to it than stopping the bullying. There's also forcing some people to engage because there are other dangers to choosing to be an outcast.
 
2013-02-05 05:43:34 AM  
HA! Good news is they aren't black!

/farkin' racist Europeans
 
2013-02-05 05:45:36 AM  
It's all about diversity.

De longer you are here, di verse it gets!
 
2013-02-05 05:47:52 AM  

RookStar: HA! Good news is they aren't black!

/farkin' racist Europeans


Damn, I guess 2 pints of vodak isn't doing me much good tonight. In the slashies, i didn't mean I'm actually farking racists. Oh god. I better just farkin pass out now. What have I done....

/I dislike bigots
 
2013-02-05 06:23:37 AM  
i was bullied back in the day before gays.  so it was always "because of my lame hair"
now if i was bullied i'd naturally assume it was due to my sexual orientation?  i'm a pan sexual.  i fark bread.  get over it
 
2013-02-05 07:06:00 AM  

doglover: EVERYONE gets bullied in high school.


No.

Bullying isn't a bad day at school. Bullying is an environment. You clearly don't know what you're talking about. Most kids are NOT bullied.
 
2013-02-05 07:07:10 AM  

jso2897: Bullies are cowards - they don't like victims who hit back.


Sad but true. Just make sure the teachers don't see you hitting back.
 
2013-02-05 07:34:32 AM  

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: doglover: Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying?

But then gays would just be normal people and they'd have to give back navel gazing as a career option.

You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life. Instead you'd be just another normal kid who was bullied in highschool because you weren't 100% median.

I know you're being snarky, but there's also a lot to what you said. I've got several gay friends. Or at least friends that I very strongly suspect of being gay. But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces). The "I'M GAY AND PROUD OF IT" crowd are exactly the same as the "I'M A MAAAAANNNNN AND INTIMATELY FONDLE MY biatch coont IN PUBLIC AND WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" Sex should be private; you're not a rutting dog in heat. It's simple politeness.

 I see you don't understand human intimacy or friendship. Please, allow me to facilitate an understanding of how people work.
Most normal human beings who are friends with another human being will, from time to time, mention various aspects of their personal lives. One aspect that is frequently a part of the shared knowledge between friends is the relationship status of each member of the friendship: Married, single, dating someone, etc. Often, people will even go so far as to mention activities that they have engaged in with their romantic partner to friends, and often these activities will include, in passing, a reference to the romantic partner's gender. An observant friend might note this and then be able to draw a rough idea of their friend's sexual orientation by knowing both the gender of their friend and their friend's romantic partner.There exists a spectrum from Acceptable ways to discuss things one has done with a partner to Unacceptable things that really don't enter into most friendships (though some people may be more or less open to sharing - each individual will have a different judgment of what is and isn't acceptable).Generally Acceptable: "Yeah, my boyfriend and I went to see the Avengers; he liked it a lot, but he's a major comic fan. I thought it was OK, I guess." (said by a male friend)Generally Acceptable: "Why yes, my wife is taking 90 days maternity leave - it's really great she can take this time!" (said by a male friend)
Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "So Phil's cock was just POUNDING my ass, and I mean HARD, to the point where it actually hurt when our balls collided, but jesus I came so hard!"Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "Yeah, so I go down on Stacey and it's dark and I'm like, woah, she's way wetter than normal - long story short, she's raggin', but I got my red-wings, then I rammed my cock in her to fark her proper!"According to your comments, I can only assume that you and your friends are absolutely androgynous and would never be so gauche as to mention having a significant other, let alone giving any indication what-so-ever of their gender. Personally, I would find that a rather barren friendship (and would likely classify that relationship as "passing acquaintance"), but if it works for you, that's fine. Or, perhaps, you are an alien visitor and really have no understanding at all of basic human interactions - in that case, please, welcome in peace to Earth.
 
2013-02-05 08:42:51 AM  

Hickory-smoked: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces).


[www.brides.com image 629x384]
What shoving your heterosexuality in other people's faces might look like


Not talking about things like that. I don't have a problem with gays getting married, holding hands, showing respectful affection to each other in public, etc. etc. What I DO have a problem with, and my wife also, - with both gays and straights - is the over the top bullshiat. You know exactly what I mean. We have all seen it (with both ngays and straights). Like if some guy is squeezing his girl's crotch in public. It's not me being an uptight prude, it's me objecting to someone treating their S.O. like an object while screaming "look at me" to the whole farking world.

I'd go on, but gym in 26 minutes etc. Seriously; got an appointment.
 
2013-02-05 08:47:31 AM  

metztli: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: doglover: Cortez the Killer: Not to nitpick, but wouldn't bullying situations get better for anybody after they grow up, no matter what the situation was that caused the bullying?

But then gays would just be normal people and they'd have to give back navel gazing as a career option.

You'd no longer be able to say that people who didn't like you were homophobic because you're a special and unique snowflake and deserve everyone's acceptance and the limelight for your brave decision to tell people about your sex life. Instead you'd be just another normal kid who was bullied in highschool because you weren't 100% median.

I know you're being snarky, but there's also a lot to what you said. I've got several gay friends. Or at least friends that I very strongly suspect of being gay. But the key point with them is that they don't shove it in my face (the exact same way that I don't shove my heterosexuality in their faces). The "I'M GAY AND PROUD OF IT" crowd are exactly the same as the "I'M A MAAAAANNNNN AND INTIMATELY FONDLE MY biatch coont IN PUBLIC AND WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?" Sex should be private; you're not a rutting dog in heat. It's simple politeness.
 I see you don't understand human intimacy or friendship. Please, allow me to facilitate an understanding of how people work.
Most normal human beings who are friends with another human being will, from time to time, mention various aspects of their personal lives. One aspect that is frequently a part of the shared knowledge between friends is the relationship status of each member of the friendship: Married, single, dating someone, etc. Often, people will even go so far as to mention activities that they have engaged in with their romantic partner to friends, and often these activities will include, in passing, a reference to the romantic partner's gender.

An observant friend might note this and then be able to draw a rough idea of their friend's sexual orientation by knowing both the gender of their friend and their friend's romantic partner.There exists a spectrum from Acceptable ways to discuss things one has done with a partner to Unacceptable things that really don't enter into most friendships (though some people may be more or less open to sharing - each individual will have a different judgment of what is and isn't acceptable).Generally Acceptable: "Yeah, my boyfriend and I went to see the Avengers; he liked it a lot, but he's a major comic fan. I thought it was OK, I guess." (said by a male friend)Generally Acceptable: "Why yes, my wife is taking 90 days maternity leave - it's really great she can take this time!" (said by a male friend)
Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "So Phil's cock was just POUNDING my ass, and I mean HARD, to the point where it actually hurt when our balls collided, but jesus I came so hard!"Generally Unacceptable/Rubbing your nose in it: "Yeah, so I go down on Stacey and it's dark and I'm like, woah, she's way wetter than normal - long story short, she's raggin', but I got my red-wings, then I rammed my cock in her to fark her proper!"According to your comments, I can only assume that you and your friends are absolutely androgynous and would never be so gauche as to mention having a significant other, let alone giving any indication what-so-ever of their gender. Personally, I would find that a rather barren friendship (and would likely classify that relationship as "passing acquaintance"), but if it works for you, that's fine. Or, perhaps, you are an alien visitor and really have no understanding at all of basic human interactions - in that case, please, welcome in peace to Earth.


??? Not sure what your point is about me not understanding this. Maybe I wasn't clear. what you describe - the range, generally acceptable vs unacceptable - is exactly what I'm talking about. From what I can see we have no disagreement.
 
2013-02-05 09:15:08 AM  
If you are trying to help someone the truth generally doesn't work.

Truth: You'll get used to it.

vs

Sales pitch: It gets better!
 
2013-02-05 10:21:56 AM  

Wholesale Ass: Smeggy Smurf: Wholesale Ass: Maybe if you weren't gay there wouldn't be a problem.

Isn't threadshiatting in memorial threads enough for you?

No. Want to have sex?


Sure.  I'll get you drunk and let a hungry calf suckle you down to a nub.  It's your call stubby
 
2013-02-05 11:21:49 AM  

turbidum: Sadly, according to TFA, it does not necessarily get better:

"It gets better for lesbian and bisexual females, relatively, but for gay and bisexual males, relative to their straight male peers, it gets worse after high school," says study author Joseph Robinson, assistant professor of educational psychology at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign. "Their rates of being bullied are not dropping as quickly."


What? First it says "it gets worse" then it says "not dropping as quickly"? I don't see how it could get worse after high school since you finally get to have some say in the type of people you hang around.
 
2013-02-05 11:57:09 AM  
It gets WAY better after high school.

I never understood why high school is made out to be this great experience when college is several orders of magnitude cooler.

High school *is* fun, but it has its limitations.  You're stuck in your school.  You're stuck in your town.  You're stuck at home.  You're still a teenager and get treated like one.  Your parents know your every move.  You can't bring anybody home for fun, or if you do, you have to be sneakier than James Bond to get away with anything.  High school in some ways is like a minimum security jail.  With your parents there.  You can still get detention, you can still get grounded.  Eff that!

When you go to college, everything changes.  You have at least some money.  It matters a whole lot less what your parents tell you to do, or what they think.  College is the great escape!  You probably have a car, or if not, know how to get by without one.  In college you can do stuff like book motel rooms and buy plane tickets to San Francisco Pride or The White Party without anyone but your and your friends knowing you're going.  You can legally get into clubs.  "Bullies" magically learn to step the f*ck off because felony assault charges suck.  You learn to excel academically, and collaborate with others doing the same.  You graduate with a degree in something cool, and you suddenly have significant money.  You meet the most fantastic friends in college.  The "hotties" in high school are nothing compared to the hotties in college.  18 is good.  25 is the deal.

And probably the most important - your mind fully develops in college.  In high school, you aren't quite put together upstairs yet.

Once you can truly think, the world is yours.
 
2013-02-06 01:21:40 AM  
Is abstract societal concepts had guns this wouldn't happen.
 
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