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(New York Daily News)   You find a wallet outside a Kohl's. Do you: a) turn it in at customer service, b) take it home with you and try to find contact information for the owner, or c) stand there in front of the surveillance cameras distributing the money to your kids?   ( divider line
    More: Asinine, Kohl, CBS Atlanta, Joseph Smith  
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11034 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2013 at 12:39 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-04 01:19:39 AM  
4 votes:
Pleasedonthavemullets, Pleasedonthavemullets... whew!

2013-02-04 01:13:28 AM  
4 votes:
Pleasedontbeblack pleasedontbeblack...  whew!

2013-02-04 12:47:55 AM  
4 votes:
Anybody else get a chuckle out of a Joseph Smith being in Seminary school?
2013-02-04 12:49:50 AM  
2 votes:

escheff3: Anybody else get a chuckle out of a Joseph Smith being in Seminary school?

Get a brain, Mormans!
2013-02-04 08:35:11 AM  
1 vote:

7th Son of a 7th Son: ongbok: 7th Son of a 7th Son: FTFA : The next day, Smith went back to the store and employees allowed him to watch the surveillance video, where he witnessed the woman using his lost wallet like an ATM.

Stores are allowed to do this? When I worked retail our LP director wouldn't budge unless the cops showed with a warrant, and even then sometimes the footage was "lost".

Was that when your LP people caught somebody stealing and confronted them? And the "lost" footage was probably "lost" because your LP people did something that they weren't supposed to do when they confronted the person.

This case would be different since the store employees didn't confront the lady at all. Just caught her on tape emptying a wallet.

My LP was a lesbian with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Had thighs powerful enough to crush a Buick. Employee theft was more common than customer theft. That being said, there's no way she would've let a customer see any kind of surveillance tape. Then again I don't remember anything like this happening at my store.

I interpreted that as LP = Life Partner. That took things to an entirely different place, especially regarding the thighs. Then I checked your profile, saw your name was Brian, and got more confused.

After 5 minutes of deep thought, I realized that LP = Loss Prevention.
Why yes, I am a moron - thanks for asking.
2013-02-04 07:02:53 AM  
1 vote:

Puff The Destroyer: I was going to bet $20 it was black people. Wow.

But you're totally not racist.
2013-02-04 05:51:49 AM  
1 vote:

Dogsbody: I was thinking even money between 'hood or trailer park. I guess that makes me open-minded. Or something.

I was thinking even money between lawyer or banking executive.
2013-02-04 03:20:21 AM  
1 vote:
Short, fat, white, southern fried biatch one of the 47% and probably a klukker. I'm guessing she knew one of her close friends was waiting for a $10 reward to turn her in and she probably had enough priors to land her in jail and spend the next 6 months getting double fisted by another lady who looks like Ving Rhames in cornrows and a mumu.
2013-02-04 03:19:08 AM  
1 vote:

Great Janitor: Finding a wallet and returning it to it's owner is why I have such high faith in the Rule of Acquisition 285: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.


just a good Samaritan who helped out an ungrateful biatch who accused the person who found her wallet of stealing her money.

Something similar happened to an old roomie of mine, except he was in his 30's, the lady who owned the wallet was in her 50's, he found it in the street in front of the local mini mart and drove the three blocks to her home to return it.

Oh, and the biatch called the cops on him, who he patiently waited for as she repeatedly threatened him with bodily harm and screamed obscenities at him out on her front lawn, demanding her money and credit cards back. I bet she was real popular with the neighbors.

/I totally TP'd her house and used our water key to turn her sprinklers on a few weeks later in fit of drunken disdain for ungrateful biatches everywhere
//'cuz I am Karma's faithful agent
///or the devil's plaything, not sure which one
2013-02-04 03:16:26 AM  
1 vote:
I was going to bet $20 it was black people. Wow.
2013-02-04 01:54:47 AM  
1 vote:
has anyone pointed out that the dude that lost his wallet is some weird, religious hipster-looking fella?

perhaps god was playing a joke on him for being filthy hipster scum?
2013-02-04 01:28:52 AM  
1 vote:
What part of finders keepers, losers weepers don't people understand?
2013-02-04 12:11:43 AM  
1 vote:
Answer:  You travel back to last year and post this story.
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