Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Chicago Sun-Times)   Chicago police will no longer respond to 911 calls in person unless someone is needed to come mop up   ( ) divider line
    More: Scary, Chicago Police, Chicago, evidence technician, implements, lost and found, call for service, Ald  
•       •       •

15185 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2013 at 7:27 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-03 08:06:12 PM  
4 votes:
911:  911, what's your emergency?
caller: Someone just stole my car!!
911: When?
caller: just NOW!
911: where are they now?
caller: they just drove off.
911: what kind of car?
caller: it's an 08 Kia
911: what color?
caller: Black.
911: Did you see the person who stole it?
caller: no, he was in a tow truck.
911: wat?   Are you behind on your payment?
caller: ..... a little.
2013-02-03 07:38:25 PM  
3 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: This is more reasonable then you'd expect, if you actually read the article.

911 is for emergencies.  If your garage was broken into when you were at work, that's not a 911 event.

But what if McDonalds gets my order wrong?!?!
2013-02-03 09:02:37 PM  
2 votes:

way south: So who do I call when I need someone to shoot my dog?

you will have to choke him yourself with your bootstraps
2013-02-03 08:09:26 PM  
2 votes:
So who do I call when I need someone to shoot my dog?
2013-02-03 07:49:29 PM  
2 votes:
Coming next... 1-900-911: $10/minute charged to your phone bill.
2013-02-04 07:12:45 AM  
1 vote:
You'll probably get a better response.
2013-02-04 12:27:50 AM  
1 vote:

kombat_unit: What a nice blue city.  A preview of what is to come America.

But friend, this is the glorious utopia of democratic living! Do not take responsibility for yourself. You need a PROFESSIONAL to decide when you have a right to your life and to your property. Let the police put you into a well oiled and sorted list of victims, in which you may wait anywhere from 5 minutes to 1 hour before they decide to act, or if they act at all! You are not capable of defending yourself, you evil vile lunatic, let a over worked police officer come to your estate well after the thief has got away, so no one gets hurt (especially not the criminal)
2013-02-03 08:33:03 PM  
1 vote:
 So they've taken up my mothers policy of "If I have to come out there somebody better god damned be dying".
This can't possible end well.

2013-02-03 08:04:54 PM  
1 vote:
Sounds like it's time for a private company to set up their own armed medical response team. Could be a good job for veterans.
2013-02-03 07:34:48 PM  
1 vote:
SpdrJay: 911 is a joke in Chitown!

Because when seconds matter, the cops are only minutes away.
2013-02-03 07:28:00 PM  
1 vote:
911 is a joke in Chitown!
Displayed 11 of 11 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.