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(New Musical Express)   Michael Bay denies Transformers 4 is a reboot, says it actually takes place four years after the events of the previous films, but will still have his trademark explosions and lack of discernible plot   ( divider line
    More: PSA, Michael Bay, Transformers, John Turturro, reboot, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson  
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2197 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Feb 2013 at 7:20 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-03 11:48:50 PM  
4 votes:

Mugato: the_vegetarian_cannibal: Seriously, if Michael Bay wants to make a good Transformers film, he should just stick to what he's good at and film 2 hours of giant robots and wall-to-wall explosions without any corny human plot lines in between

That's the problem though. he made a movie about transforming robots fighting each other boring. The filler stuff with the humans was boring as hell but Bay managed to make the robot fighting stuff boring as shiat. At least in the the first two films. I didn't get around to the third film, that one could have been awesome for all I know.

I've come to realize that great action scenes are about moments -- that part where the character does something really cool and strikes a pose and you're like "awww yeah"...its like fan service, you can't help it but cheer when the character has their cool moment. The best recent movie to do this was The Avengers. There were moments galore in it, from Captain America kicking alien ass in front of the cops to Thor KO'ing the Hulk with Mjolnir, Hawkeye shooting shiat without looking at it, Hulk just being a big raging ball of fark YOU....every superhero got their chance to shine but the best moment is when the camera pans around all of them in the rubble in the streets of NYC with the triumphant orchestral score and you KNOW the battle is about to begin and its going to be fricken AWESOME.... yeah.

Transformers doesn't do that. Characters need to BE COOL and they need to DO COOL things... none of the transformers were cool. They had ridiculous lowbrow accents. They made stupid decisions. One of them hung out in a garage like a dog and whimpered when his owner had to leave him -- THAT'S NOT COOL. It's not cool when they smack each other around like the Three Stooges. It's not cool when they're peeing, farting, humping, or wandering around absent-mindedly like a bunch of geriatric old farts.

There are no "moments" in Transformers. I can think of one semi-cool moment where I thought "hey this might be pretty good" -- at the beginning of Transformers 2, Sideswipe dispatches a Decepticon while drifting a full 360... and afterwards he does his cool pose and has his moment, blows the smoke off his gun and goes "damn, I'm good". And there I thought: Awesome, maybe this movie will correct the mistakes of the first movie. But then later on there is Devastator.... with two gigantic wrecking balls for gonads. And people point it out.

That's what Transformers has essentially done: Created something cool -- race of military-grade war machines with artificial intelligences from another world......and then reduced them to toilet humour jokes.

Fark you, Michael Bay. If I see you in person, I will seriously punch you in the farking cock.
2013-02-03 09:27:41 PM  
2 votes:
Optimus Prime was a dick in Dark of the Moon. He faked his death and let half of Chicago get farked up, with thousands probably dying in the process, just so he could tell the humans "told you so".
2013-02-03 08:05:56 PM  
2 votes:
If anything, the main problem with the last three films was that there was too much plot.

Seriously, if Michael Bay wants to make a good Transformers film, he should just stick to what he's good at and film 2 hours of giant robots and wall-to-wall explosions without any corny human plot lines in between. That's what the audience wants, anyway.

Okay for good measure, he can also stick in a few scenes of a skimpily dressed Megan Fox (or that British chick, or whatever skirt is "washing his Ferrari" nowadays).
2013-02-03 07:30:20 PM  
2 votes:
Mark Wahlberg is going to be in the fourth movie? I can't wait.

"Hey. So you're Optimus Prime? You turn into a semi truck, huh? Yeah. Well, I was in 'Ted' with Seth MacFarlane. Say 'hello' to your mother for me."
2013-02-04 09:49:04 AM  
1 vote:

stoli n coke: No, I think it's safe to put it on Bay. "The Rock" looked like it could have been done by any of the directors in the Simpson/Bruckheimer stable (especially Tony Scott). Since Bay was relatively inexperienced, he had Jerry watching him like a hawk through the shoot. The fact that the producers also hired some pretty big talent, including Aaron Sorkin to work on the script also helped.

The Rock is difficult to explain. It helped that it had Sean Connery and Ed Harris but also, Michael Bay didn't suck so much back then. He was probably trying to be a real filmmaker then and not... whatever he is now. Sure there were explosions and the slow motion camera thing but used sparingly and not through the whole film. And you didn't hate every single character, including the ones you weren't supposed to hate.

The guy sucks at what he does and makes a shiatton of money doing it. That's prevalent in every industry.
2013-02-04 12:03:03 AM  
1 vote:

BizarreMan: I have no problem with it having a new cast but not being a reboot. We don't need a new origin story every fourth movie. Just pick up and keep going.

I have an idea.... reboot EVERYTHING. Even the origin story because the current one is farking ass.

Here's my pitch:

How about a robot civil war on a distant planet that bleeds its resources dry, forcing both factions to seek extraterrestrial sources of energy to continue the fight and they both find Earth around relatively the same time. One of the robot factions is benevolent and wants to bargain for our resources, the other is malevolent and wants to suck the planet dry. They fight and we get caught in the crossfire.

And you know why this plot will work? Because it was the farkING TV SHOW 30 YEARS AGO.

I sometimes think these filmmakers over-think their bloated franchises and stuff them with so many characters, factions and sub-plots in an attempt to go for that bombastically epic feel that the inverse happens: The movie comes out looking like an obstinate, overwrought god damn mess. No cohesion or focus at all.

Take a cue from James Cameron (who has never been known to make a bad action movie), and keep the plot simple. Robot civil war. Earth. Fighting for resources. That's all that has to happen. It's simple, it's definable, and it will resonate with today's generation living in a looming age of globalization, dwindling resources, an impending energy crisis, climate change and overpopulation. Don't weigh things down in inane McGuffins or turgid backstory.

So fark mythology, fark destiny and prophecy, fark the all-spark and any other lame McGuffin bullshiat, fark the douchebag kid and his MTV date movie contrived plot with his idiot parents and stupid getting-laid-schemes. And fark the movie robots -- no more slapstick bullshiat. These are intelligent alien war death machines -- essentially a league of robot superheroes. Treat them like it.
2013-02-03 11:57:59 PM  
1 vote:
image.qpicture.comView Full Size

Unicron frowns on Bay's shenanigans.
2013-02-03 11:54:03 PM  
1 vote:

Heims: The first one was fairly good

Just for curiosity's sake, what part of the first movie was fairly good?

Was it the alien robots peeing, farting, humping, and stepping in dog poo while trying to hide behind a house? Was it the cinematography, with its closeups of jagged metal and shaky claustrophobic in-your-face nonsense of blurring colors and loud, obnoxious noises trying to confuse you instead of show you what's going on? Was it the schizophrenic direction, giving the audiences five opposing tones and moods states in a 40 second timeframe? Where it completely loses focus as to how it wants you to feel about it? And the marketing can't decide if its a slapstick comedy, a teen romantic fable, an action adventure, a political thriller or a war epic? Was it the writing, wrought with plot holes, continuity errors, inane backstory, cringing dialogue, hackneyed cliches like "destiny" subplots and "loser gets the girl" MTV date movie bullshiat? Was it the characters -- underdeveloped and underutilized, with no redeeming qualities in any of the humans and barely any humanity in the robots (except for one), where the leads were played by "exasperated suprised man" and "wooden pinup girl"? Was it the setting, that jumped around from city to desert to halfway around the world without any real considerable time given to how the characters could all get there so fast? Was it the fact that everyone's wearing lipstick for some reason? Was that fairly good? Really?
2013-02-03 09:30:36 PM  
1 vote:
Meh. I'm ok with the first 3. Different genres of movies accomplish different things. And if I really want to spend an evening thinking, that's what books are for. The Transformers series is decent low brown entertainment. They're fine in theater and maybe once a year if they're on TV or something. No one is forcing any of to watch them.
2013-02-03 08:26:36 PM  
1 vote:
I don't understand why Dreamworks/Paramount insists on farking up what could be a great franchise by once again hiring Bay. I mean look how much money it made by being awful, just imagine the profits if it was good.
2013-02-03 08:23:14 PM  
1 vote:
Take out the explosions and add some light aircraft and people drinking coffee and you can have yourselves a Coleman Francis movie.
2013-02-03 08:14:26 PM  
1 vote:
Hopefully more Rosie Huntington-Whitely and less Shia.
Maybe she can squeeze Megan Fox's breasts for her.
2013-02-03 07:41:14 PM  
1 vote:
Michael Bay has a special talent. It takes a special skill to make a movie about transforming robots fighting each other boring.
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