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(Slate)   Slate columnist slams a Conservative WND "author" who just released a twelve-step book on "How to Choose a Husband," a book that tells women the important skills are "be nice, cook, have sex, and be subservient"   (slate.com) divider line 306
    More: Followup, Conservative WND, Suzanne Venker, WND, family therapies, Steve Harvey, Sheryl Sandberg, other woman, My Big Fat Greek Wedding  
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9798 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2013 at 4:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-03 05:54:03 PM

freeforever: Scipio: I'm not an alpha male who is a dick, but I did play that role. I can tell you it is far more effective than playing the caring individual even if you are sincere as a man.

The truth hurts.


I don't know who that admittance is supposed to hurt, but the fact that women are attracted to that behavior should be a source of concern. Also, I hate to say it, but if I can play that role there is nothing great about people like that. Any idiot can treat others as worthless and assert dominance. I fail to see how any can take pride in such low level behavior. Taking pride in that behavior is the maturity equivalent of taking pride in the size of your feces.
 
2013-02-03 06:13:34 PM

albatros183: This thread makes me want a manwhich

/Have ground beef
//Don't have any ketchup
///:(


Try it with vinegar and mustard ; then add sugar to taste
 
2013-02-03 06:20:24 PM

Ima4nic8or: I dont see a problem.  "How to Chose a Husband" seems like a practical book with good advice for any single chick.


sometimes, the truth isn't palatable
 
2013-02-03 06:22:12 PM

Scipio: freeforever: Scipio: I'm not an alpha male who is a dick, but I did play that role. I can tell you it is far more effective than playing the caring individual even if you are sincere as a man.

The truth hurts.

I don't know who that admittance is supposed to hurt, but the fact that women are attracted to that behavior should be a source of concern. Also, I hate to say it, but if I can play that role there is nothing great about people like that. Any idiot can treat others as worthless and assert dominance. I fail to see how any can take pride in such low level behavior. Taking pride in that behavior is the maturity equivalent of taking pride in the size of your feces.


You're right about "alphas", but you couldn't be more wrong about dicks.

"Alphas" are alphas because they are strong and confident, and don't need to feel threatened by anybody.  They're generally nice and personable but tough people.  The dicks are the insecure betas who act like dicks because they don't know anything about status or women, and they think that treating others like shiat will make themselves look important.  This only works on other insecure betas.
 
2013-02-03 06:24:28 PM

Coco LaFemme: There's nothing wrong with being nice, having sex with your man, and knowing how to cook.  I enjoy all of those things.  That doesn't mean that's all I'm allowed or supposed to do, though.  As for being subservient......fark that noise.  I'm not subservient to my boyfriend and he's not subservient to me.  We're grown adults.


If my wife ever ended a discussion with "Well, okay dear, you're the man..." I would be on the phone to the brain stroke center in no time.
 
2013-02-03 06:25:08 PM

udhq: Most secure, adult men are looking for an equal partner, not a replacement for mommy.


There are times when I wonder about that, as well as the other way around. A secure adult knows that there is more to relationships than this, of course, but the basics never go away completely.
 
2013-02-03 06:26:31 PM
People who go out with the sole intent of "landing a man" or "finding a mate" amuse me.  There's nothing wrong with being open to it if that's what you want, but why not let it happen organically if you happen to meet someone you like?  I don't understand this mentality of just finding someone for the sake of having someone.  Your expectations are probably very low if you just want a warm body to fill a lonely void (and I'm not talking about those looking for only sex).  What's worse are those looking for someone to have kids with.  They don't say that, they pretend that they are looking for a spouse, but really they are looking for someone of the opposite gender to procreate with.  They should just be upfront about it and hook up together instead of pretending that they're looking for a real romantic relationship.  Of course most of them end up unhappy when they don't get more than just a baby factory/sperm donor.

Meh, maybe I've been lucky, but I've never really had to work hard to find a man.  I've always found plenty of guys who make suitable companions, at least for awhile.  Of course I tend to go out with people I connect with and are best friends with which is easy for me since I tend to have more in common with guys.  When I met my husband I wasn't expecting to fall in love again, but it was the most natural thing in the world and we are truly best friends who basically have a great time together all the time.  It's been like an 8 year slumber party.  But I guess neither of us had some weird expectation about gender roles or what the other should be doing in the relationship.  We just let it flow naturally and it works for us.
 
2013-02-03 06:27:27 PM

LL316: How is that bad advice?  just because the book should be directed at both men and women instead of just women does not mean it's wrong.


some people don't want to hear it.
 
2013-02-03 06:28:07 PM

Gyrfalcon: Bloody William: I should write a book on how to have a successful relationship. I'll call it "Treat your significant other like a farking person, not like an indentured servant, porcelain doll, or the result of a business transaction."

/Still single.

Probably because we live on opposite coasts...


D'awww.
 
2013-02-03 06:28:51 PM

BarkingUnicorn: udhq: freeforever: udhq: freeforever: Typical feminist overreaction to solid advice about finding a husband.  Sorry, but men like young, feminine women.  It's biological and will never change.  Young women in their 20s who cook, clean and do all that girly stuff feminists abhor WILL ALWAYS BE MORE ATTRACTIVE to men than 30-40 year-old career women with double Master's degrees and years of work experience that men of any value don't give a fark about.

Women are free to pursue their dreams and go to school and compete with men in the work force.  Just be prepared for how quickly your pool of potential suitors shrinks when you delay marriage.

Most secure, adult men are looking for an equal partner, not a replacement for mommy.

Great straw man response there. Unless you have sex with your mother you can't compare a housewife to your mom.

The point is that with men who are looking for that kind of a woman, you have to ask the question of whether they had some sort of oedipal sexual attraction to their own mothers.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, Sigmund.

Mommy took care of you while you farked other women.  Some men look for the same deal when they get married.


More truth.
 
2013-02-03 06:34:35 PM
Lets see, I try my best to be nice. I love to cook, and sex: yes please. I guess I'm doing it right.

I really don't understand women who dole out sex like they're a precious commodity. Sweetie, if you do that long enough, he will look somewhere else. There are times when it is okay to say no, but "no" all of the time is going to result in the relationship dying.

Oh, and learning how to make at least one of your significant others favorite dishes is a GREAT way to get nookie. Even if they screw it up and you end up having to order pizza, knowing that they took the time to try is romantic as all get-out.
 
2013-02-03 06:40:26 PM

Giltric: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.


Without sounding troll-tastic, is there anyone here in this post-feminist world that can explain what either of those are? I can't. Neither can my wife. Ironically, both of our parents can without hesitation. I completely agree that women want a man who knows what a woman's role is and what a man's role is. Problem is, I don't think anyone knows what those are anymore.
 
2013-02-03 06:45:03 PM

Spanky McStupid: But she's correct in her assessment of war against men.


There's a war against men now in the same way that the Black Panther Party proves that the main conflict of the 1960s was a war against white people, which is to say, you're an idiot.

There isn't a war against men.  If you MUST use a war metaphor, this army of feminazis you imagine is less like an army and more like a small guerrilla action against an occupying force.
 
2013-02-03 06:46:05 PM

propasaurus: Women are supposed to prance around in heels.


No, no, that's lumberjacks.
 
2013-02-03 06:50:48 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: FloydA: Coco LaFemme: There's nothing wrong with being nice, having sex with your man, and knowing how to cook.  I enjoy all of those things.

I enjoy being nice and cooking.  I haven't yet tried having sex with your man, but since you recommend it...

I didn't know he was Drewish
[i105.photobucket.com image 471x628]


cdn01.dailycaller.com
What a Druish Princess might look like.
 
2013-02-03 06:51:16 PM

Bloody William: I should write a book on how to have a successful relationship. I'll call it "Treat your significant other like a farking person, not like an indentured servant, porcelain doll, or the result of a business transaction."

/Still single.


Correlation/Causation?
 
2013-02-03 06:53:45 PM
I wonder what it's going to be like with no American Republican Party. Weird.
 
2013-02-03 06:56:54 PM

gajillion: Giltric: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.

Without sounding troll-tastic, is there anyone here in this post-feminist world that can explain what either of those are? I can't. Neither can my wife. Ironically, both of our parents can without hesitation. I completely agree that women want a man who knows what a woman's role is and what a man's role is. Problem is, I don't think anyone knows what those are anymore.


A real man is one who spreads his seed as far as it will go.
 
2013-02-03 07:01:18 PM

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: MattyBlast: This is stupid. No matter how many self-help books there are out there, women are too stupid to heed any of their advice. They want douchebags and will always want douchebags.

By that logic you should be drowning in pussy.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-03 07:01:50 PM
This conversation is dumb. Feminists only have a problem with the idea that women should be "subservient" to their partner. And in any couple both genders are expected to do cooking and cleaning. The best arrangements are the ones where one partner cooks and the other cleans up.
 
2013-02-03 07:04:41 PM

Ima4nic8or: omeganuepsilon: Here's a fascinating aspect of human nature.  We all have different personalities, and differing advice will work for different people.  Many women are subservient/docile, and many men are typical alpha males.  That is not to say ALL women should be docile, but in an age where we teach ALL women to be "strong/assertive" because of some moral belief, the opposite deserves as much airtime, as it were.

There is no given stereo type that any given person has to fit into.  If you are the type of person who's having troubles in a relationship, it may be wise to try something different.

THIS!!

The wife and I have very much the traditional woman stays at home with kids and cooks and cleans while man works and does all the mechanical work around the house sort of relationship.  Its not because I have somehow force the wife into a subservient role, it is because just is more subservient in nature and is very happy with this type of relationship.  To be honest I have been wanting to get her back to work in order to increase our retirement savings and kids college savings a bit. She, however, just wants to stay at home with the kids. Which will probably be the way it stays for at least a few more years until the kids are at school for full days.


Good for you. The problem is when people think ALL women should be like that, whether they want to or not, because they're afraid of women being equal to men for whatever traditional, religious, or personal reason they use.

How about we grow up as a society and stop seeing women as nothing more than weak little trophies to be bred and stuffed into a home with no say in her own life?
 
2013-02-03 07:05:38 PM

udhq: gajillion: Giltric: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.

Without sounding troll-tastic, is there anyone here in this post-feminist world that can explain what either of those are? I can't. Neither can my wife. Ironically, both of our parents can without hesitation. I completely agree that women want a man who knows what a woman's role is and what a man's role is. Problem is, I don't think anyone knows what those are anymore.

A real man is one who spreads his seed as far as it will go.


So, like, 2-3 feet?
 
2013-02-03 07:08:40 PM

freeforever: Scipio: I'm not an alpha male who is a dick, but I did play that role. I can tell you it is far more effective than playing the caring individual even if you are sincere as a man.

The truth hurts.


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-02-03 07:11:01 PM

Bloody William: freeforever: No, the guys who don't get sex are the feminists appeasers who don't understand why women are attracted to "jerks" ie., real men.

What does that have to do with being able to cook and clean for yourself?

And... "appeasers?" Really?


You're talking to either a troll or someone who's convinced that he's the swellest guy in the world and can't understand who no one likes him when he lashes out and insults everyone.
 
2013-02-03 07:12:28 PM
freeforever: I never made the "foolish" argument against delaying message.  I'm just speaking the truth:  The longer a woman puts off marriage the shorter her prospects become.  It's not impossible, just harder.


freeforever: Scipio: I'm not an alpha male who is a dick, but I did play that role. I can tell you it is far more effective than playing the caring individual even if you are sincere as a man.

The truth hurts.


Yeah, it's funny how you keep using "the truth" to mean "my opinion."  Ignoring all the other garbage you've been spewing, those two statements in this thread alone are pretty clear warning signs.
 
2013-02-03 07:13:36 PM

Spanky_McFarksalot: speaking as a male, theres nothing I hate more than a nice woman who cooks and has sex with me.


Those are the things I hate in a woman, too.
 
2013-02-03 07:20:02 PM

udhq: You're right about "alphas", but you couldn't be more wrong about dicks.

"Alphas" are alphas because they are strong and confident, and don't need to feel threatened by anybody.  They're generally nice and personable but tough people.  The dicks are the insecure betas who act like dicks because they don't know anything about status or women, and they think that treating others like shiat will make themselves look important.  This only works on other insecure betas.


Now you're just taking the analogy so far that it doesn't fit, wielding a poetic license to fit your personal ideology.

Alpha, as far as describing humans, only denotes a need to be dominant.  You can do this without offending people, or you can be an asshole about it, neither is exclusive to what an alpha is, but the later is more common.

The designation of alpha is but one facet of personality and as such, it has no necessary ties with any other aspect such as you imply.

Males and females can both be dominant, and it can manifest in any number of ways.  sometimes it's simply being competitive(and then only in certain conditions/hobbies), sometimes it's the need to control every little thing.
 
2013-02-03 07:27:06 PM

ciberido: freeforever: Scipio: I'm not an alpha male who is a dick, but I did play that role. I can tell you it is far more effective than playing the caring individual even if you are sincere as a man.

The truth hurts.

Yeah, it's funny how you keep using "the truth" to mean "my opinion."


Yeah, it's funny how you see "his experience" and label it as "his opinion" as a way of implying he's not truthfully relating factual experience.

It's also funny that a large number of people share the same experience, to the point that it's no longer simply anecdotal.  Being an alpha(in a positive or negative way) can and does help people to achieve their goals quite often.  Want to know the kicker?  You're being a contrarian alpha just by badly attempting to argue the point.
 
2013-02-03 07:29:10 PM

Pincy: rubi_con_man: 2. Yes, you have to give up the sex. All the time.

Ever since you got boobs, much of your power over the opposite gender has come from the ability to tug on their libido-strings;

If only those mean ol womens would stop flaunting their power over us helpless mens.


I agree. We aren't helpless. They don't need to give up the sex. They just need to decide if they want to participate when we are having sex.
 
2013-02-03 07:32:01 PM

The Bird: Suzanne Venker's aunt is Phyllis Schlafly. This may explain a lot.


Ding ding ding! We have a winner.

Venker is just another "do as I say, not as I do" idiot, who thinks it's perfectly ok for themselves to have a career other than full-time homemaker, but it's those other biatches out there who are destroying the sanctity of marriage by doing the same.

God forbid women should acquire any marketable skills to support themselves and their families, in the event that the hubby has an accident which leaves him dead or disabled, or a midlife crisis which leads to him dump them for his 19 year old secretary.  You can still love someone and do all the nice things to make them happy, yet not remain completely helpless. What kind of a man wants a doormat, anyway? Ugh.
 
2013-02-03 07:32:15 PM

udhq: gajillion: Giltric: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.

Without sounding troll-tastic, is there anyone here in this post-feminist world that can explain what either of those are? I can't. Neither can my wife. Ironically, both of our parents can without hesitation. I completely agree that women want a man who knows what a woman's role is and what a man's role is. Problem is, I don't think anyone knows what those are anymore.

A real man is one who spreads his seed as far as it will go.


What's the score on just over a couple metres?
 
2013-02-03 07:39:24 PM
Oh, gawd. Is this the thread where everyone starts going on about "alphas" and "negging" and shiat? How about just treating each other with a modicum of decency and respect?

Yeah. I'm sure you're sooooo "alpha" in your WoW guild. I'm sure the other players give you all the best loot. Now piss off.
 
2013-02-03 07:41:20 PM

hamdinger: Oh, gawd. Is this the thread where everyone starts going on about "alphas" and "negging" and shiat? How about just treating each other with a modicum of decency and respect?

Yeah. I'm sure you're sooooo "alpha" in your WoW guild. I'm sure the other players give you all the best loot. Now piss off.


Typical alpha behavior.  Belittling others to seem better.
 
2013-02-03 07:42:59 PM

hamdinger: Oh, gawd. Is this the thread where everyone starts going on about "alphas" and "negging" and shiat? How about just treating each other with a modicum of decency and respect?

Yeah. I'm sure you're sooooo "alpha" in your WoW guild. I'm sure the other players give you all the best loot. Now piss off.


No no no, if we let women be more than sexual trophies then all the traditionals will come crumbling down and God will hate America even more and the filthy liberals will take our guns and Benghazi and WHY DO YOU HATE FREE SPEECH?!
 
2013-02-03 07:43:34 PM

omeganuepsilon: hamdinger: Oh, gawd. Is this the thread where everyone starts going on about "alphas" and "negging" and shiat? How about just treating each other with a modicum of decency and respect?

Yeah. I'm sure you're sooooo "alpha" in your WoW guild. I'm sure the other players give you all the best loot. Now piss off.

Typical alpha behavior.  Belittling others to seem better.


Nope. I'm totally a Beta... zoid....

Betazoid.

The purple jumpsuit rides up my ass something fierce, and it makes my goody-bag painfully visible to those around me. But that's me.

I'll prove it to you with my empathy powers. I sense you didn't find this post very funny.
 
2013-02-03 07:44:55 PM

Ima4nic8or: Coco LaFemme: I'm not the least-bit surprised that some barking-at-the-moon simpleton from WND wrote this book.  They're longing for a return to the Eisenhower era, when women and minorities knew their place in the world.

And the problem with that is.....?


It's idiotic.
 
2013-02-03 07:47:48 PM
Does cook and have sex (and be nice, maybe) include cooking a nice dinner wearing not a lot more than an apron?  Because if it does, I'm totally getting this for my fiancee.

I mean, uh, I hear there might be guys who have a thing for that.
 
2013-02-03 07:49:18 PM
Oh man. I read the article. The woman who wrote that book is doofus. About as useful as that Venus and Mars guy with the "All dah ladees be like dis and all dah mens be like dis and all doggies chase dah kitties and all kitties chase dah mousies and dah cheez stands alooooone dah cheez stands aloooone hi ho dah dairy oh" ramblings.
 
2013-02-03 07:51:09 PM

Just_a_Bear: it worked for my cousin's daughters.  All three very well behaved Christians.
/so sad, wish they had a backbone instead


Yeah, why would you want them to think for themselves?  It would be so much easier for them to do what old people like you tell them.

/See what I did there?
 
2013-02-03 07:51:52 PM

FunkOut: Oh man. I read the article. The woman who wrote that book is doofus. About as useful as that Venus and Mars guy with the "All dah ladees be like dis and all dah mens be like dis and all doggies chase dah kitties and all kitties chase dah mousies and dah cheez stands alooooone dah cheez stands aloooone hi ho dah dairy oh" ramblings.


Arnold wrote that book?
 
2013-02-03 07:52:36 PM

Bloody William: I should write a book on how to have a successful relationship. I'll call it "Treat your significant other like a farking person, not like an indentured servant, porcelain doll, or the result of a business transaction."

/Still single.


But how will I know I'm big and strong and manly and in charge and all that if I let the woman I love more than anything else be my equal?
 
2013-02-03 07:52:42 PM

omeganuepsilon: udhq: You're right about "alphas", but you couldn't be more wrong about dicks.

"Alphas" are alphas because they are strong and confident, and don't need to feel threatened by anybody.  They're generally nice and personable but tough people.  The dicks are the insecure betas who act like dicks because they don't know anything about status or women, and they think that treating others like shiat will make themselves look important.  This only works on other insecure betas.

Now you're just taking the analogy so far that it doesn't fit, wielding a poetic license to fit your personal ideology.

Alpha, as far as describing humans, only denotes a need to be dominant.  You can do this without offending people, or you can be an asshole about it, neither is exclusive to what an alpha is, but the later is more common.

The designation of alpha is but one facet of personality and as such, it has no necessary ties with any other aspect such as you imply.

Males and females can both be dominant, and it can manifest in any number of ways.  sometimes it's simply being competitive(and then only in certain conditions/hobbies), sometimes it's the need to control every little thing.


Nah.  Show me the jock picking on nerds in high school, and I'll show you someone who lives in fear that he's vulnerable to becoming a target.

Being an "alpha" is about a position in a social hierarchy.  It's not about money or power or peacocking.  It's influence.  And in a modern, first words society, you can "dominate" your way to money--and even in a limited, temporary manner, to power--but not to true influence.  Anyone who tries gets stabbed in the back the second they let their guard down.

Show me one political or business leader who has achieved influence without the consent of the social institution they lead.
 
2013-02-03 07:53:50 PM

hamdinger: FunkOut: Oh man. I read the article. The woman who wrote that book is doofus. About as useful as that Venus and Mars guy with the "All dah ladees be like dis and all dah mens be like dis and all doggies chase dah kitties and all kitties chase dah mousies and dah cheez stands alooooone dah cheez stands aloooone hi ho dah dairy oh" ramblings.

Arnold wrote that book?


Now imagine the Terminator on a date.  "Give me your clothes."
 
2013-02-03 07:56:37 PM

Keizer_Ghidorah: hamdinger: Oh, gawd. Is this the thread where everyone starts going on about "alphas" and "negging" and shiat? How about just treating each other with a modicum of decency and respect?

Yeah. I'm sure you're sooooo "alpha" in your WoW guild. I'm sure the other players give you all the best loot. Now piss off.


No no no, if we let women be more than sexual trophies then all the traditionals will come crumbling down and God will hate America even more and the filthy liberals will take our guns and Benghazi and WHY DO YOU HATE FREE SPEECH?!



i0.kym-cdn.com


Seriously, the pollution put out by your industrial outrage manufacturing plant has got to be dangerous.
 
2013-02-03 07:57:07 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: hamdinger: FunkOut: Oh man. I read the article. The woman who wrote that book is doofus. About as useful as that Venus and Mars guy with the "All dah ladees be like dis and all dah mens be like dis and all doggies chase dah kitties and all kitties chase dah mousies and dah cheez stands alooooone dah cheez stands aloooone hi ho dah dairy oh" ramblings.

Arnold wrote that book?

Now imagine the Terminator on a date.  "Give me your clothes if you want to live."


FTFY
 
2013-02-03 07:59:58 PM

udhq: Nah.


Whatever.  Knowledge and observation  > your inane guesses as to what words mean and how society works.
 
2013-02-03 08:05:38 PM
Men + cooking = hawt
Women + cooking - clothing = hawt

I have no idea why this seemed relevant, but there's that.

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm going back to the kitchen. Sammiches need making.
 
2013-02-03 08:06:19 PM

Just_a_Bear: I May Be Crazy But...: hamdinger: FunkOut: Oh man. I read the article. The woman who wrote that book is doofus. About as useful as that Venus and Mars guy with the "All dah ladees be like dis and all dah mens be like dis and all doggies chase dah kitties and all kitties chase dah mousies and dah cheez stands alooooone dah cheez stands aloooone hi ho dah dairy oh" ramblings.

Arnold wrote that book?

Now imagine the Terminator on a date.  "Give me your clothes if you want to live."

FTFY


I bet Arnold could write a better book than most of the crap on the self help relationship shelf.
 
2013-02-03 08:09:29 PM

megarian: Men + cooking = hawt
Women + cooking - clothing = hawt

I have no idea why this seemed relevant, but there's that.

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm going back to the kitchen. Sammiches need making.


So someone else sees the truth!
 
2013-02-03 08:12:49 PM
megarian:
Women + cooking - clothing = hawt


I'm thinking you don't eat a lot of deep fried food.  That stuff splatters!
 
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