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(Slate)   Slate columnist slams a Conservative WND "author" who just released a twelve-step book on "How to Choose a Husband," a book that tells women the important skills are "be nice, cook, have sex, and be subservient"   (slate.com) divider line 306
    More: Followup, Conservative WND, Suzanne Venker, WND, family therapies, Steve Harvey, Sheryl Sandberg, other woman, My Big Fat Greek Wedding  
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9800 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2013 at 4:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-03 04:41:41 PM  

theorellior: This wasn't Caitlin Flanagan again, was it? Oh, Venker. Nice quote:

She recently lamented to New York magazine that women no longer "go to college to find a husband; you go to find your own single life and your career."

Fark that noise. I married my wife not because she went to college to get her MRS, I married her because she was a PhD-candidate molecular biologist with a career in science.


Woah! Congrats!
 
2013-02-03 04:42:28 PM  
You can lose the subserviant part, but likes to fark and knows how to make sammiches are important
 
2013-02-03 04:43:19 PM  

propasaurus: Women are supposed to prance around in heels.


Men should too, from time to time.  Broaden your horizons.

/You better WORK
 
2013-02-03 04:43:50 PM  

Gergesa: Not being a business owner I could hardly understand what is needed to get a business started but wouldn't it have made more sense for her to be working while he was trying to get his business going so they could have that income as a cushion?


You would think so, but for some reason they decided that it would be better for their children for their mother to post passive-aggressive snark about the burdens of motherhood on Facebook rather than put them in daycare while she has a career doing what she was trained for and good at.
 
2013-02-03 04:44:06 PM  
"Subservient"? Uh, no. The path to ultimate boredom is to be paired with someone who just agrees with/to everything you say and looks to you to make decisions.

But, I can forgive a lot of faults in a woman if I like their taste in music. I might willfully ignore their habits of kicking puppies and stabbing babies if they do it while humming Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach for My Revolver".
 
2013-02-03 04:44:23 PM  

theorellior: PsiChick: /I'd probably be a psychotic housewife too if I were in a permanent sub relationship when I didn't have a submissive personality.

I gotta FB friend from back in college, a trained lawyer, who became a stay-at-home mother so her husband could start up a company reselling electricity to their fellow Texans. I don't know why anyone thought that was a good idea. Her FB pages basically describe the arc of a capable woman who's being slowly driven bugfark by dealing with small children all day. I try to help by puncturing her more Teatardish posts with snark.


Yikes. See, even if my DNA wasn't utter shiat this is a huge part of why I'd never reproduce--I'd probably shoot myself if I had to deal with children that much.
 
2013-02-03 04:44:25 PM  

omeganuepsilon: Here's a fascinating aspect of human nature.  We all have different personalities, and differing advice will work for different people.  Many women are subservient/docile, and many men are typical alpha males.  That is not to say ALL women should be docile, but in an age where we teach ALL women to be "strong/assertive" because of some moral belief, the opposite deserves as much airtime, as it were.

There is no given stereo type that any given person has to fit into.  If you are the type of person who's having troubles in a relationship, it may be wise to try something different.


THIS!!

The wife and I have very much the traditional woman stays at home with kids and cooks and cleans while man works and does all the mechanical work around the house sort of relationship.  Its not because I have somehow force the wife into a subservient role, it is because just is more subservient in nature and is very happy with this type of relationship.  To be honest I have been wanting to get her back to work in order to increase our retirement savings and kids college savings a bit. She, however, just wants to stay at home with the kids. Which will probably be the way it stays for at least a few more years until the kids are at school for full days.
 
2013-02-03 04:44:39 PM  
5. Don't be unattractive.
 
2013-02-03 04:44:44 PM  

platkat: I'd be happy to be those things once all men who are looking to marry become strong, competent, and even-tempered.


The problem is that us men who are strong, competent and even tempered are not necessarily looking to marry.

It's not just women who were put out by the transactional nature of traditional marriage.
 
2013-02-03 04:45:27 PM  
There are women like that left? I thought the Feminazis had gotten rid of them all. "After your spa treatment today we're going to finish up with a nice, relaxing Zyklon B shower that's scented with bitter almonds."
 
2013-02-03 04:45:36 PM  
This is stupid. No matter how many self-help books there are out there, women are too stupid to heed any of their advice. They want douchebags and will always want douchebags.
 
2013-02-03 04:45:44 PM  
Ya know I tried everything to find someone and I never did find them. But I do agree on this statement made in this Psychology Today article on the War on Men.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-urban-scientist/201212/how-w in -the-war-men?page=3

"The quote of Venker's men that "Women aren't women anymore" is not an insult directed at an individual, but a man-language way of saying, "If you like men, and you prefer me specifically, not just as an individual, but as a man - if you make me feel excited and honored to be a man - then yes, I definitely feel like committing to you... And marriage is the way we can celebrate that." "
 
2013-02-03 04:48:11 PM  
Suzanne Venker's aunt is Phyllis Schlafly. This may explain a lot.
 
2013-02-03 04:50:28 PM  

PsiChick: Yikes. See, even if my DNA wasn't utter shiat this is a huge part of why I'd never reproduce--I'd probably shoot myself if I had to deal with children that much.


Which is why I'll probably take care of the kids when the time comes, because I can deal with them much more easily than my wife can.
 
2013-02-03 04:50:31 PM  
Do we HAVE to have this conversation now?  The game's about to start!
 
2013-02-03 04:50:54 PM  
Typical feminist overreaction to solid advice about finding a husband.  Sorry, but men like young, feminine women.  It's biological and will never change.  Young women in their 20s who cook, clean and do all that girly stuff feminists abhor WILL ALWAYS BE MORE ATTRACTIVE to men than 30-40 year-old career women with double Master's degrees and years of work experience that men of any value don't give a fark about.

Women are free to pursue their dreams and go to school and compete with men in the work force.  Just be prepared for how quickly your pool of potential suitors shrinks when you delay marriage.
 
2013-02-03 04:51:01 PM  
"be nice, cook, have sex, and be subservient."

This sounds more like the instructions of Reverend Sun Myung Moon.
 
2013-02-03 04:51:14 PM  

MattyBlast: This is stupid. No matter how many self-help books there are out there, women are too stupid to heed any of their advice. They want douchebags and will always want douchebags.


By that logic you should be drowning in pussy.
 
2013-02-03 04:52:16 PM  
Let the woman cook?  Only if she wants to and is a better cook than me.  If not, then stay out of my kitchen, woman!  I will bring you the sandwich.
 
2013-02-03 04:52:41 PM  
youngadultfinances.com

/ cover shot ?
 
2013-02-03 04:53:48 PM  

platkat: I'd be happy to be those things once all men who are looking to marry become strong, competent, and even-tempered.



I've often been described exactly that way.

 ...By that I mean I've been described with a string of adjectives- not necessarily those exact ones, but adjectives nevertheless.
 
2013-02-03 04:54:48 PM  

Killer Cars: "Subservient"? Uh, no. The path to ultimate boredom is to be paired with someone who just agrees with/to everything you say and looks to you to make decisions.

But, I can forgive a lot of faults in a woman if I like their taste in music. I might willfully ignore their habits of kicking puppies and stabbing babies if they do it while humming Mission of Burma's "That's When I Reach for My Revolver".


This.

As a single guy with my life together, it astounds me how many grown women I meet that are completely non-functional and are looking for someone to more or less run their lives for them.

Sad thing is there are plenty of guys out there willing to do it.
 
2013-02-03 04:55:27 PM  

alice_600: Ya know I tried everything to find someone and I never did find them. But I do agree on this statement made in this Psychology Today article on the War on Men.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-urban-scientist/201212/how-w in -the-war-men?page=3

"The quote of Venker's men that "Women aren't women anymore" is not an insult directed at an individual, but a man-language way of saying, "If you like men, and you prefer me specifically, not just as an individual, but as a man - if you make me feel excited and honored to be a man - then yes, I definitely feel like committing to you... And marriage is the way we can celebrate that." "


My God that article was poorly written.  Someone else can debate the merits but as far as writing goes it was awful.
 
2013-02-03 04:55:30 PM  
it worked for my cousin's daughters.  All three very well behaved Christians.
/so sad, wish they had a backbone instead
 
2013-02-03 04:56:42 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: FloydA: Coco LaFemme: There's nothing wrong with being nice, having sex with your man, and knowing how to cook.  I enjoy all of those things.

I enjoy being nice and cooking.  I haven't yet tried having sex with your man, but since you recommend it...

I didn't know he was Drewish
[i105.photobucket.com image 471x628]


Please don't post photos of me in the thread, it's kind of creepy.  Thanks.
 
2013-02-03 04:57:17 PM  
I do love these threads.
 
2013-02-03 04:58:36 PM  

freeforever: Typical feminist overreaction to solid advice about finding a husband.  Sorry, but men like young, feminine women.  It's biological and will never change.  Young women in their 20s who cook, clean and do all that girly stuff feminists abhor WILL ALWAYS BE MORE ATTRACTIVE to men than 30-40 year-old career women with double Master's degrees and years of work experience that men of any value don't give a fark about.

Women are free to pursue their dreams and go to school and compete with men in the work force.  Just be prepared for how quickly your pool of potential suitors shrinks when you delay marriage.


Most secure, adult men are looking for an equal partner, not a replacement for mommy.
 
2013-02-03 04:59:03 PM  
I see this kind of thing as a slight against men. At least, against functional men. The idea of gender-exclusive housework is ridiculous. My dad always did the laundry and cleaned the bathroom in the house when I was a kid. I cook, and I'm making goulash (American-ish, but generous with Hungarian paprika and garlic) for dinner, which I'll start as soon as the laundry's done. Why are traditionalists so disrespecting of men that they see them as useless man-babies who can't feed and clothe themselves and need a woman to do "that kind of work?"

/Granted, still single, so don't have anyone else to do laundry, clean bathroom, or cook.
//Likes cooking, though.
///Has been making candy. Going to make Breaking Bad meth candy as soon as he gets a nice pan and a hammer.
 
2013-02-03 04:59:13 PM  
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.
 
2013-02-03 04:59:14 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: MattyBlast: This is stupid. No matter how many self-help books there are out there, women are too stupid to heed any of their advice. They want douchebags and will always want douchebags.

By that logic you should be drowning in pussy.


I haven't gotten any in years. I'm a clean-cut professional who doesn't make gang signs, wear my cap sideways, make duck faces, or act like a retard in bars. If I did, then yes, my dick would be getting wet on a regular basis, but because I'm one of those respectful "nice guys," women don't want me.

See hotchickswithdouchebags.com if you think I'm full of shiat.
 
2013-02-03 04:59:58 PM  

udhq: Most secure, adult men are looking for an equal partner, not a replacement for mommy.


Eughhhhh. I love my mom, but there's a reason I'd like to find a nice shiksa to settle down with. Ideally an Irish redhead.
 
2013-02-03 05:00:50 PM  
Fine advice, if applied to both sexes. I expect my wife appreciates me being nice, able to cook, and ready with the sexy time. Quid pro quo.
 
2013-02-03 05:01:10 PM  

freeforever: Typical feminist overreaction to solid advice about finding a husband.  Sorry, but men like young, feminine women.  It's biological and will never change.  Young women in their 20s who cook, clean and do all that girly stuff feminists abhor WILL ALWAYS BE MORE ATTRACTIVE to men than 30-40 year-old career women with double Master's degrees and years of work experience that men of any value don't give a fark about.

Women are free to pursue their dreams and go to school and compete with men in the work force.  Just be prepared for how quickly your pool of potential suitors shrinks when you delay marriage.


1. Feminists abhor cooking and cleaning...because we like  not eating and wallowing in our own filth. Riiight.

2. You left 'fromsex' out of your username. Should go right in the middle there.
 
2013-02-03 05:01:32 PM  
I got a kick out of the stuff towards the bottom about feminists and the woman's view on gender differences and equal pay.

/jaded from having female instructors in college who constantly preached about how hard life is for women, the glass ceiling, yadayadayada (no matter WHAT class it was).
//at a branch of my college they had an outspoken feminist dean who hired about 80%/20% female instructors, started and held a womans conference every year, told a male instructor he was the wrong gender to be tenured....she is no longer employed but fark all that
 
2013-02-03 05:01:32 PM  

Giltric: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.


Ahem.

The study comes with one major caveat: It is based on data collected two decades ago
 
2013-02-03 05:02:48 PM  

L.D. Ablo: Bladel: While I'm never going to agree with a WND article, I was once on the receiving end of "Be mean & bossy & no sex," and I am happy to report that this strategy did work out for that particular woman.

Same here.

She thought I was committed and too much in love.  I called her on it and she more or less said that it was time for me to know who she really is.  She thought I was bluffing when I said I wanted out and got meaner.

One of the last straws was a Valentine's Day dinner out.  She lit into me and went through a list of personal criticisms for about five minutes and loud enough for everyone else to hear.  And they did.  I sat there quietly thinking about the best way to dump her.

The boot was given about 24 hours later and I cut all contact.  According to mutual friends, she was a wreck and "couldn't understand where it went wrong."


Sounds like an emotionally abusive relationship. You are well out of it.
 
2013-02-03 05:02:51 PM  

Bloody William: Giltric: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.

Ahem.



What?
 
2013-02-03 05:03:40 PM  

udhq: freeforever: Typical feminist overreaction to solid advice about finding a husband.  Sorry, but men like young, feminine women.  It's biological and will never change.  Young women in their 20s who cook, clean and do all that girly stuff feminists abhor WILL ALWAYS BE MORE ATTRACTIVE to men than 30-40 year-old career women with double Master's degrees and years of work experience that men of any value don't give a fark about.

Women are free to pursue their dreams and go to school and compete with men in the work force.  Just be prepared for how quickly your pool of potential suitors shrinks when you delay marriage.

Most secure, adult men are looking for an equal partner, not a replacement for mommy.


Great straw man response there. Unless you have sex with your mother you can't compare a housewife to your mom.
 
2013-02-03 05:04:13 PM  
I just don't understand why Venker called her book "How to Choose a Husband". It seems awfully presumptuous and inconsistent with a lot of the rest of her views. I guess she figured "How to Make The Most of the Husband Your Father Has Chosen For You" wouldn't sell as well.
 
2013-02-03 05:05:47 PM  

freeforever: Unless you have sex with your mother you can't compare a housewife to your mom.


Ah but you forget, most married farkers are not having sex with their wives.

Or so I am given to understand anyway.
 
2013-02-03 05:07:01 PM  
To be fair, that will in fact get you a husband, so the book at least isn't advertising falsely.

I mean, I'd question the wisdom of picking that as a primary goal worth suppressing entire aspects of your personality to achieve, but if that's really something you want that much I guess go for it.  Plus, it won't get you a  specific husband, just a husband in general, because there's always someone out there that just wants kids and someone to help raise them more than the disney-style soul-mate thing.
 
2013-02-03 05:07:54 PM  

udhq: As a single guy with my life together, it astounds me how many grown women I meet that are completely non-functional and are looking for someone to more or less run their lives for them.


I don't get it either. A woman who has her own sh*t together and doesn't "need" my help is infinitely more attractive to me

FloydA: Please don't post photos of me in the thread, it's kind of creepy.  Thanks.


To be fair, a lot of us spend more time thinking about you than you would care to know. Can I send you a rough draft of my first  FloydA slasher fanfic? I have you killing Kim Jong-Un with a sabre after leading a revolt of dyslexic orangutans against the regime, but I'm not sure how to wrap up the ending.
 
2013-02-03 05:07:56 PM  
So has this thread turned into an MRM biatchfest support group yet?
 
2013-02-03 05:09:20 PM  

Jim_Callahan: To be fair, that will in fact get you a husband, so the book at least isn't advertising falsely.

I mean, I'd question the wisdom of picking that as a primary goal worth suppressing entire aspects of your personality to achieve, but if that's really something you want that much I guess go for it.  Plus, it won't get you a  specific husband, just a husband in general, because there's always someone out there that just wants kids and someone to help raise them more than the disney-style soul-mate thing.


It really seems dehumanizing, or at least deindividualizing. It diminished personal identity by putting such emphasis on finding  any suitor, not a person with whom you have a deep personal, emotional, and intellectual bond. At the risk of sounding woobie, it takes love out of the equation and makes the entire thing seem rather... Victorian.
 
2013-02-03 05:09:26 PM  

theorellior: You would think so, but for some reason they decided that it would be better for their children for their mother to post passive-aggressive snark about the burdens of motherhood on Facebook rather than put them in daycare while she has a career doing what she was trained for and good at.


Women who have children because they're "supposed to" and not because they want them are some of the saddest people in the world.
 
2013-02-03 05:09:37 PM  
There is a lot of Steve Harvey in Suzanne Venker's new book, How To Choose a Husband,

That's as far as I read. This is what's wrong with America today, that butthead writers quote obnoxious game show hosts like they are learned people. Ain't no wonder that people are so farked up nowadays, what with this crapola going on. Go play in traffic, Allison Benedikt.
 
2013-02-03 05:09:45 PM  

GAT_00: Kyosuke: How soon until we eliminate gender roles entirely?

Like about a dozen other problems, the first step to the solution will be when the Baby Boomers die.


I don't see how you can blame the existance of gender roles on the Boomers.  Hell, aren't the Boomers usually blamed for destroying the nuclear family in the first place?
 
2013-02-03 05:10:09 PM  

freeforever: udhq: freeforever: Typical feminist overreaction to solid advice about finding a husband.  Sorry, but men like young, feminine women.  It's biological and will never change.  Young women in their 20s who cook, clean and do all that girly stuff feminists abhor WILL ALWAYS BE MORE ATTRACTIVE to men than 30-40 year-old career women with double Master's degrees and years of work experience that men of any value don't give a fark about.

Women are free to pursue their dreams and go to school and compete with men in the work force.  Just be prepared for how quickly your pool of potential suitors shrinks when you delay marriage.

Most secure, adult men are looking for an equal partner, not a replacement for mommy.

Great straw man response there. Unless you have sex with your mother you can't compare a housewife to your mom.


The point is that with men who are looking for that kind of a woman, you have to ask the question of whether they had some sort of oedipal sexual attraction to their own mothers.
 
2013-02-03 05:10:14 PM  

PsiChick: freeforever: Typical feminist overreaction to solid advice about finding a husband.  Sorry, but men like young, feminine women.  It's biological and will never change.  Young women in their 20s who cook, clean and do all that girly stuff feminists abhor WILL ALWAYS BE MORE ATTRACTIVE to men than 30-40 year-old career women with double Master's degrees and years of work experience that men of any value don't give a fark about.

Women are free to pursue their dreams and go to school and compete with men in the work force.  Just be prepared for how quickly your pool of potential suitors shrinks when you delay marriage.

1. Feminists abhor cooking and cleaning...because we like  not eating and wallowing in our own filth. Riiight.

2. You left 'fromsex' out of your username. Should go right in the middle there.


No, the guys who don't get sex are the feminists appeasers who don't understand why women are attracted to "jerks" ie., real men.
 
2013-02-03 05:10:15 PM  

Bloody William: Giltric: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/31/husbands-housewo r k-sex/1880719/


Women don't want some skirt wearing male at home. They want a real man who knows what a womans role is and what a mans role is.

Ahem.

The study comes with one major caveat: It is based on data collected two decades ago


i105.photobucket.com
What skirt wearing males who aren't real men might look like.
 
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