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(Faribault County Register)   News: 31-year old Minnesota woman faces assault charges after home invasion. Not News: Woman was armed during the attack. Fark: With a squirt gun   (faribaultcountyregister.com) divider line 40
    More: Dumbass, Minnesota Woman, home invasions, post bail, Infraction  
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6331 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2013 at 1:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-03 12:47:20 PM
img805.imageshack.us

In related news, Nick Nolte is currently serving three consecutive life sentences for squirt gun-related crimes.

(You don't want to see THAT mugshot.)
 
2013-02-03 12:49:23 PM
30 Helens agree: what the hell does "31 Minnesota woman" mean?
 
2013-02-03 12:51:18 PM

skinink: 30 Helens agree: what the hell does "31 Minnesota woman" mean?


The article says that this is about a 31-year-old woman, so that's what subby probably means.

...

Probably, now.  It could still be some kind of code.
 
2013-02-03 01:30:56 PM
Simple solution: arm everyone with pea-shooters.
 
2013-02-03 01:33:07 PM
Knowing that you don't  actually have a weapon doesn't help if you  present your squirt gun as a weapon.  It's how bank robbers with sticks in their pockets can get charged with armed criminal action.  Sure, they aren't actually going to hurt anyone, but nobody else knows that.
 
2013-02-03 01:36:08 PM
Someone needs to get Dianne Feinstein on this Assault Squirt Gun problem ASAP
 
2013-02-03 01:36:40 PM
0 to Fark in 5.7 seconds

/or your money back
 
2013-02-03 01:37:26 PM
Uh, the squirt gun did have red peppers, salt....kind of makes it semi-assaulty..
 
2013-02-03 01:41:36 PM

chrisr64: Uh, the squirt gun did have red peppers, salt....kind of makes it semi-assaulty..


img545.imageshack.us

"That squirt gun had chicken, corn, green peppers, chili..."  *sighs*   "... ONIONS..."
 
2013-02-03 01:41:53 PM

chrisr64: Uh, the squirt gun did have red peppers, salt....kind of makes it semi-assaulty..


You mean semi-zesty?

/also, FTFA; " She also was dressed in all black, that included a black baseball cap and black furry mask."
//so she's into that sorry of thing?
///kinky
 
2013-02-03 01:43:06 PM
There's a place called "Blue Earth"?
 
2013-02-03 01:43:52 PM
Since this is Fark, I'm sure I'm not the only one who expected this to be a story about the victim of a home invasion being charged with a crime.
 
2013-02-03 01:43:59 PM
It is a fact that people who stop violence by brandishing a gun are NOT likely to report it out of fear of becoming the criminal.
 
2013-02-03 01:47:34 PM

jtown: Since this is Fark, I'm sure I'm not the only one who expected this to be a story about the victim of a home invasion being charged with a crime.


I almost thought that, but didn't see the Florida tag

/is there a site that shows instances of homeowners/tenants getting charged for rightfully defending their home? I need a laugh
 
2013-02-03 01:47:56 PM
Wearing a black furry mask.  Damned furries!

Blue Earth, MN, is home to the Jolly Green Giant Museum & statue; their 10,000 annual visitors can also tour The Little Red Barn.
 
2013-02-03 01:48:08 PM
She's a squirter.
 
2013-02-03 01:51:43 PM
As someone who walked in on four guys in the middle of a home invasion 3 months ago, all I can say is I'm not getting a kick.

Fyi, the only thing going through my head when I saw them was "where's my gun? Where's my gun? Where's my gun? "


/not of the water variety. The lead variety.
 
2013-02-03 01:51:55 PM
If she had only been at a gun range she would have been safe!
 
GCD
2013-02-03 01:54:15 PM
Misleading headline is misleading.

Sure, she was armed with a squirt gun, but she obviously had malicious intent in mind though as normal people don't put water, jalapenos, red peppers and salt in a squirt gun.
 
2013-02-03 01:57:31 PM
I dare her to try that at my place. Let's see how her Sizzlin' Cool dragonfly type squirt gun stacks up against my Mossberg 500.

/grabs popcorn
 
2013-02-03 01:59:32 PM

enzoweb: There's a place called "Blue Earth"?


It's just a piece down I-90 from Asscrack, Minnesota.
 
2013-02-03 02:03:52 PM
Subby is glad the headline got fixed x.x premature submission is a terrible medical condition, I have consulted my doctor.

Ten more seconds of thought would have ended with this..

News: Minnesota woman pulls a home invasion. Not News: With a loaded gun. Fark: A squirt gun.
 
2013-02-03 02:12:57 PM
img805.imageshack.uswww.questionsleep.com

Brothers?
 
2013-02-03 02:13:22 PM
Apparently, this is her:
69.163.30.236
 
2013-02-03 02:21:45 PM

enzoweb: There's a place called "Blue Earth"?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Earth,_Minnesota

It's named after the mud there.
I would think that this bright bulb should have used vinegar instead of water, habanero peppers instead of jalapeno and some capsaicin concentrate.
/they wouldn't have been able to call the cops
 
2013-02-03 02:31:30 PM

The Face Of Oblivion: [img805.imageshack.us image 435x580][www.questionsleep.com image 400x282]

Brothers?


BWAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2013-02-03 02:33:20 PM
 
2013-02-03 02:37:33 PM

enzoweb: There's a place called "Blue Earth"?


Thank the Scandinavian settlers.  I've noticed Scandinavians'  perceptions of the colors blue and black tend to overlap.  For instance, there was a famous Viking king Harold Bluetooth and then there's the mythical Babe the Blue Ox of paul Bunyan.

On top of it, I can witness to the fact that when you peel back the thick, black top soil of Minnesota and northern Iowa,  it does have a slight bluish sheen to it until it dries out.
 
2013-02-03 03:10:02 PM

stevarooni: Knowing that you don't  actually have a weapon doesn't help if you  present your squirt gun as a weapon.  It's how bank robbers with sticks in their pockets can get charged with armed criminal action.  Sure, they aren't actually going to hurt anyone, but nobody else knows that.



Her 'Home Brew' did hurt the victims...
 
rpl
2013-02-03 03:20:14 PM
imageshack.us
 
2013-02-03 03:40:40 PM
ski9600:
I would think that this bright bulb should have used vinegar instead of water, habanero peppers instead of jalapeno and some capsaicin concentrate.
/they wouldn't have been able to call the cops


Sounds like she was just using whatever she found around the house, rather than a truly cunning plan. Have you ever forgotten to wash your hands immediately after slicing up some jalapenos and then maybe scratched an itch near your eye? If so, you haven't forgotten a second time. I feel really bad for anyone who's "forgot to wash hands after slicing jalapenos" lesson was learned while in the bathroom.
 
2013-02-03 03:41:22 PM
whose, dammit. I mean "whose."
 
2013-02-03 03:47:48 PM

WordyGrrl: I feel really bad for anyone who's "forgot to wash hands after slicing jalapenos" lesson was learned while in the bathroom.


This was posted last week by the Cyanide and Happyiess webcomics facebook page..


"We at Explosm would like to share a cautionary tale with our fans.

Last night, our merch guy Andy was cutting jalapenos and neglected to wash his hands before taking a shower. Needless to say, his groinal area was in severe pain for several hours. Andy did not want us to share his mishap with 775,000 people, but we feel it's EXTREMELY important that everyone know what happened and learn from Andy's mistake.

As funny as burning your balls with jalapenos might seem, it is no laughing matter. Be aware. Be safe.

Andy is fine now, but feel free to offer your sympathies to andy[nospam-﹫-backwards]mso­lpxe*ne­t "
 
2013-02-03 04:53:57 PM
Outta my cold wet hands.
 
2013-02-03 05:12:51 PM
okay i was prepared to be outraged but upon reading the story the woman is a mental case and the do it your self pepper spray is worthy of the charges she is facing.

also as a Minnesotan Habeneros can be a little tricky to find up here if your not near one of the three major metropolitan areas ( twin cities , St. Cloud and Duluth), they tend to be easier to find in the summer and rarer in winter.   Most likely she went with jalapenos since they were easy to find and cheap.
 
2013-02-03 07:22:17 PM
jaksview3.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-03 07:37:24 PM

monthos: WordyGrrl: I feel really bad for anyone who's "forgot to wash hands after slicing jalapenos" lesson was learned while in the bathroom.

This was posted last week by the Cyanide and Happyiess webcomics facebook page..


"We at Explosm would like to share a cautionary tale with our fans.

Last night, our merch guy Andy was cutting jalapenos and neglected to wash his hands before taking a shower. Needless to say, his groinal area was in severe pain for several hours. Andy did not want us to share his mishap with 775,000 people, but we feel it's EXTREMELY important that everyone know what happened and learn from Andy's mistake.

As funny as burning your balls with jalapenos might seem, it is no laughing matter. Be aware. Be safe.

Andy is fine now, but feel free to offer your sympathies to andy[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]msolpxe[* image 7x13]net "


Ahhahahaha... Would love to see the condolence emails he got.
 
2013-02-03 08:43:38 PM
libtards... They are everywhere.
 
2013-02-04 02:01:22 AM

monthos: WordyGrrl: I feel really bad for anyone who's "forgot to wash hands after slicing jalapenos" lesson was learned while in the bathroom.

This was posted last week by the Cyanide and Happyiess webcomics facebook page..


"We at Explosm would like to share a cautionary tale with our fans.

Last night, our merch guy Andy was cutting jalapenos and neglected to wash his hands before taking a shower. Needless to say, his groinal area was in severe pain for several hours. Andy did not want us to share his mishap with 775,000 people, but we feel it's EXTREMELY important that everyone know what happened and learn from Andy's mistake.

As funny as burning your balls with jalapenos might seem, it is no laughing matter. Be aware. Be safe.

Andy is fine now, but feel free to offer your sympathies to andy[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]msolpxe[* image 7x13]net "


Idiot.  All he needed to do was soak his balls in milk right away.
 
2013-02-04 02:08:26 AM

TDBoedy: [jaksview3.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]


Looked up "Officer Bubbles" on YouTube.  Wow, what a  dick!

Comments say he sued 25 people who commented on the video.  Probably for slander and defamation.

And the farkin video has nearly a million views. :-)
 
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