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(AlterNet)   Mindless killing machines, guarding YOUR children?   (alternet.org) divider line 39
    More: PSA, Rottweilers, factual basis, ASPCA, pit bull, dogs  
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10711 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2013 at 7:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-02 07:40:04 PM  
5 votes:
I had a landlord tell me my dog violated the lease, which barred tenents from having pitbulls. My dog was a bassette hound. She made me prove it by bringing a letter from the vet. Dog racism: almost as stupid as people racism.

/Whar dog birf certificate!?
2013-02-02 05:09:50 PM  
5 votes:
Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The terminator, would never stop. It would never leave him, and it would never hurt him, never shout at him, or get drunk and hit him, or say it was too busy to spend time with him. It would always be there. And it would die, to protect him. Of all the would-be fathers who came and went over the years, this thing, this machine, was the only one who measured up. In an insane world, it was the sanest choice.
2013-02-02 10:11:03 PM  
4 votes:
FTA: "86 percent of fatal canine attacks involve an unneutered male, according to the American Humane Society..."


Funny, but about 86 percent of fatal human attacks involve an unneutered human male, according to the FBI.

If memory serves


/Testicles
//Outlaw them
///Think of the children
2013-02-02 03:26:11 PM  
4 votes:
Yet another thread about the god damn NRA?
2013-02-02 08:39:24 PM  
3 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org
newly hired?
2013-02-02 08:19:52 PM  
3 votes:

BumpInTheNight: Yet another thread about the god damn NRA?



A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and
sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and
says"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch member, 3 pound left testicle, 3
pound right testicle, Turner Brown."
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy
says, "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me? "
The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just
give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my left
testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my
name is Turner Brown."
The small guy says, "Turner Brown!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn Around
2013-02-02 07:41:50 PM  
3 votes:

doglover: The truth is that dogs are a slave caste of animal


So...

1) Slavery wouldn't have happened if the slaves were armed.
2) Dogs are slaves

Therefore

3) Dogs should be armed to prevent animal abuse.
2013-02-02 10:04:32 PM  
2 votes:

edmo: So how many deaths by Poodle last year?


Well for every man that owns one and is seen in public with it, he dies a little inside.  It all adds up.
2013-02-02 09:20:24 PM  
2 votes:

amo: Nastiest creature I ever saw was my cousin's poorly-socialized Jack Russell Terrier.


Jack Russell Terriers are the frat boy douchebags of the canine world.
2013-02-02 09:18:10 PM  
2 votes:

doglover: Ghastly: So much like guns the argument seems to be Pit Bulls are perfectly safe in the hands of white suburbanites but when urban blacks have them they become dispensers of death and carnage.

Actually it's disenfranchised young men who shouldn't have dangerous things.

When was the last time you saw a black kid shoot people randomly in a school? Gangs are business, and while bloody are usually at least professional. The real crazies are a liability and get weeded out.

But suburban white kids with lots of time and money, but no friends? They plot Columbines.


Ah but the white suburbanites wouldn't need those guns their kids shoot up schools with if it weren't for those violent urban blacks with their guns and their pitbulls... and their pitbulls with guns in their mouths so that when they bark they shoot guns at you.
2013-02-02 09:04:26 PM  
2 votes:
doglover:

The truth is that dogs are a slave caste of animal


I don't recall too many stories about plantation owners who took their slaves out for walks and then scooped up their poop and carried it around in a little plastic bag until they got to a garbage can then gave their laves a treat and snuggled up on the couch with them and rubbed their bellies.

Not even on nifty.org.
2013-02-02 08:43:00 PM  
2 votes:
Thought the article would be about cats and how their uncontrolled behavior is resulting in the millions of native species that are mindlessly killed by them.
And the children part would be about how society brain-washes little girls and little girly-boys into believing that cats make good pets.
2013-02-02 08:00:21 PM  
2 votes:
The fact is that a pitbull needs to eat at least three mailmen per year just to stay alive.
2013-02-02 07:47:35 PM  
2 votes:

dookdookdook: doglover: The truth is that dogs are a slave caste of animal

So...

1) Slavery wouldn't have happened if the slaves were armed.
2) Dogs are slaves

Therefore

3) Dogs should be armed to prevent animal abuse.


That's a dog-gun good idea.

/not really, just goin for the pun.
2013-02-02 07:47:23 PM  
2 votes:

dookdookdook: Government Fromage: Clearly we need reasonable legislation to protect us from these assault dogs with their high capacity mouths.

Animal control legislation is tyranny!

Americans have a god-given right to keep tigers and grizzly bears in their children's bedrooms with no intrusive background checks or socialist government regulations!


No No No we need to limit them to 10 teeth. (7 in NY), and they don't need dangerous features such as leashes or collars or doggie sweaters.
2013-02-02 10:33:14 PM  
1 votes:

noitsnot: SmithHiller: I noticed the article doesn't address the breed's aggression (or non-aggression) towards other dogs.
Years ago my 25 lb. mutt was involved in an unprovoked attack by a 50 lb. pitbull. The unleashed pit charged across the street and grabbed my dog by the neck.
It took two men to stop the attack. One jumped on the pitbull's back and the other grabbed the pitbull by the balls.
My dog ended up with seven stitches on her neck.
This is why I avoid the breed today.

CSB Deja vu!  My dog was attacked while I was walking her by a lab and a cattle dog that broke out of their fence and ran across the street.  She needed about seven stitches too!  We should totally hang out.


I should add that nobody's balls were grabbed during my incident - so that does make yours more spicy.
2013-02-02 10:27:43 PM  
1 votes:

Amos Quito: FTA: "86 percent of fatal canine attacks involve an unneutered male, according to the American Humane Society..."


Funny, but about 86 percent of fatal human attacks involve an unneutered human male, according to the FBI.

If memory serves


/Testicles
//Outlaw them
///Think of the children


The other 14 percent involve a pussy-whipped male?
2013-02-02 10:26:55 PM  
1 votes:
Nice pictures in TFA.

i192.photobucket.com
2013-02-02 10:24:49 PM  
1 votes:

Ghastly: doglover:

The truth is that dogs are a slave caste of animal


I don't recall too many stories about plantation owners who took their slaves out for walks and then scooped up their poop and carried it around in a little plastic bag until they got to a garbage can then gave their laves a treat and snuggled up on the couch with them and rubbed their bellies.

Not even on nifty.org.


You should read Thomas Jefferson's hidden diary ; )
2013-02-02 10:16:54 PM  
1 votes:
There are no bad dogs, there are bad dog owners. If you've never met or seen damn scary pits you've stayed out of the right neighborhoods that's all. Lowlife scumbags surround themselves with all sorts of weapons. These are the same people that are having multiple babbys with multiple babbys mommas.

There is a lad on the Main St of my little idiot town that thinks he's living on the means streets of Newark or Camden. White boy dresses like a hip hop moran and walks like he has a load in his pants. He has an out of control pit he can barely hold back on its chain leash. it is a walking cliche. Just a matter of time before some little kid gets bit up and Mr Moran is out one dog. Personally I think we should fast forward and euthanize Mr Moran.
2013-02-02 10:00:20 PM  
1 votes:

Spirit Hammer: Dogs reflect their owners.
If you are an ignorant dick-head, chances are that your dog will be one to.


So, am I to take it that your dog can't spell?
2013-02-02 09:42:19 PM  
1 votes:
So how many deaths by Poodle last year?
2013-02-02 09:42:14 PM  
1 votes:
Yay!
My first Green!
After hundreds of tries, I finally get a green.
I'm so proud!
/and drunk
2013-02-02 09:11:44 PM  
1 votes:

Hector Remarkable: The fact is that a pitbull needs to eat at least three mailmen per year just to stay alive.


Dude, if I don't eat three mailmen a year I don't consider that living.
2013-02-02 09:09:16 PM  
1 votes:

vinniethepoo: We need a law similar to Canada's "Truth in Journalism" act. Media could still say anything it wants to as long as non-factual pieces are clearly marked "Editorial" or "Opinion." Anything presented as an actual news item needs to meet certain basic fact-checking standards. The rights of the people to be given factual, unsensationalized news on which to base their decisions outweighs the right of media to enjoy completely uncontrolled, anarchical "free speach."

Lying or exagerating in a news story needs to be treated as the journalistic equivalent of shouting "FIRE" in a crowded theater. I'm looking at YOU, Faux News (though all media's guilty to some extent.)


If I was trying to troll everyone into thinking I'm a hardcore totalitarian leftist, I'd write what you just wrote.
2013-02-02 09:05:55 PM  
1 votes:

Gleeman: Statistics, how do they work?

But poor owners and puppy mills/inbreeding are part of the problem too.


25.media.tumblr.com
2013-02-02 09:01:41 PM  
1 votes:

Ghastly: So much like guns the argument seems to be Pit Bulls are perfectly safe in the hands of white suburbanites but when urban blacks have them they become dispensers of death and carnage.


That's true for almost everything. Once aids got to the suburban white ghey population we found some good meds. Not a cure but at least it's not a death sentance anymore.
2013-02-02 09:00:48 PM  
1 votes:
My son was maybe four when we picked up Pippy the pitbull from the pound.  A street runaway that the shelter staff had spent over three months training and teaching tricks.  When I picked her up she was extremely well disciplined and very well trained.  But she still was a pitbull, scary scary pitbull, big and strong. My son of course immediately started climbing all over her and roughhousing with her as soon as she got home and we got very paranoid, never left them alone for the first week, just dreading her taking his head off.  She never even grumbled, just licked his face constantly and enjoyed the attention.  Within the first few days she was sleeping in his bed with him every night right next to him.  Very sweet, adorable.  Until I walked in there in the middle of the night after hitting the bathroom at 1am, I found his face covered in blood and her next to him wimpering. I had one of those moments of time freezing, looking at her thinking "im gonna kill you dog...".  Well no, he had a nosebleed, it didnt even wake him up and she was worried about him.  But for about a half a second there!

Been 5 years and shes been sleeping in his bed every night.
i153.photobucket.com
2013-02-02 08:42:18 PM  
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org

It can be a solid plan.
2013-02-02 08:36:05 PM  
1 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

Just try to get close to that baby!
2013-02-02 08:19:33 PM  
1 votes:
We need a law similar to Canada's "Truth in Journalism" act. Media could still say anything it wants to as long as non-factual pieces are clearly marked "Editorial" or "Opinion." Anything presented as an actual news item needs to meet certain basic fact-checking standards. The rights of the people to be given factual, unsensationalized news on which to base their decisions outweighs the right of media to enjoy completely uncontrolled, anarchical "free speach."

Lying or exagerating in a news story needs to be treated as the journalistic equivalent of shouting "FIRE" in a crowded theater. I'm looking at YOU, Faux News (though all media's guilty to some extent.)
2013-02-02 07:57:52 PM  
1 votes:

thenumber5: lewismarktwo: Craziest, meanest dog I ever saw was a black lab.

my uncle had a Coonhound that was completely insane and out to kill anything that moved


My neighbor has a Chihuahua that would bloody murder my big toe if I took my shoe off.

/sadly serious
2013-02-02 07:47:46 PM  
1 votes:

doglover: BarkingUnicorn: doglover: Pit Bulls are one of the nicest dog breeds by volume.

The problem is, much like guns, is that the average person is coward. The average person doesn't want to say "Poor young men from the inner city have a farked up culture and they like kill each other and abuse animals for sport because it gives them status in their farked up little world." They don't want to admit that "If someone beat me with a stick all the time and shocked my balls with a taser and then left me chained to a tree and hungry I'd probably chew somoene's face off, too." because they're afraid of the truth about all life, even themselves.

The truth is that dogs are a slave caste of animal and pit bulls are the preferred breed to train up as gladiators and thugs. Why? Because when they bite, they mean business. They're used and abused and trained up into biters to maximize the mouth. That doesn't mean they're naturally more violent. It's like saying blacks naturally tended to chain themselves up, avoid education, and perform back-breaking physical labor in Colonial America. Something that is inflicted upon a group is not a natural trait of that group.

So all those people who say, "He was sweet as pie until he ate the baby" are lying?

Citation needed.

I've yet to see more than one story of a dog just eating a baby, and that was a daschund. Y'know, the breed responsible for the most bites per capita but no one cares because they're tiny?

Most stories about pit bull attacks I've read start with "He got out of his kennel." or "His chain broke." That's an immediate pardon for the dog. I'll chain you naked to a tree and leave you some dirty water in a pie plate if you like. Tell me you'd be sane after the first few weeks.


Hey, you don't know what kind of kink I'm into...

/bigot
//don't judge me
2013-02-02 07:41:01 PM  
1 votes:
Clearly we need reasonable legislation to protect us from these assault dogs with their high capacity mouths.
2013-02-02 07:28:24 PM  
1 votes:
My theory is that pit pulls are psychic.  They know who's going to grow up to a serial killer; who's about to snap; and who beat a puppy when he was a child.
2013-02-02 07:09:24 PM  
1 votes:
i1079.photobucket.com
2013-02-02 06:59:47 PM  
1 votes:
img.wallpapergang.com

Mindless killing machines, you say?
2013-02-02 06:41:35 PM  
1 votes:
I have a friend who has a pitbull and I've house-sat for him a few times. One time I showed up and the dog didn't even seem to know I was there for almost an hour. So yeah, not so much the guard dog type.
2013-02-02 04:14:08 PM  
1 votes:
www.pitbullsontheweb.com
Petey agrees
 
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