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(Paste Magazine)   The ten most useless kitchen utensils ever made. Hey, that banana slicer is backwards   (pastemagazine.com) divider line 35
    More: Silly, Phoenix New Times, Montessori school, kitchen gadget, QVC, Pepper Prepper  
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21781 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2013 at 4:31 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-02 04:35:12 PM  
5 votes:
Maybe my Midwestern is showing, but the butter spreaders for corn on the cob are awesome.

Sure, they only serve one purpose, but they do it really well.  It's infinitely easier than trying to spread it with a knife or something.
2013-02-02 05:26:02 PM  
3 votes:
The Goddess Anoia does not approve.
2013-02-02 05:19:34 PM  
3 votes:
I only just learned I've been peeling bananas wrong all these years. Oh, how many bananas have I squished the shiat out of trying to get them open? I could use a banana bunker but not a banana slicer, that's what knives are for.

monkeyconveyancing.com.au
2013-02-02 04:45:58 PM  
3 votes:

CmndrFish: Maybe my Midwestern is showing, but the butter spreaders for corn on the cob are awesome.

Sure, they only serve one purpose, but they do it really well.  It's infinitely easier than trying to spread it with a knife or something.


Huh. And here we just rolled the cob directly on the stick of butter in the dish and let the butter melt all over it. Worked fine.
2013-02-02 03:56:21 PM  
3 votes:
Ummm. How are you going to place it in this thing if your wrists can't handle the weight?

cdn.pastemagazine.com

Does it come with a front-end loader?
2013-02-02 05:30:33 PM  
2 votes:
farm1.static.flickr.com

67 comments in? Fark, I am disappoint.
2013-02-02 04:54:26 PM  
2 votes:
Something special for that obsessive-compulsive in your life.


edgecastcdn.net
2013-02-02 02:43:53 PM  
2 votes:
There's always money in the banana stand.

There's never money in the banana slicer.
2013-02-03 10:23:27 AM  
1 votes:
I'm with TFA on the butter dispenser thing. A knife is the Occam's razor argument for all of the butter dilemmas. It's just butter, not some deadly acid paste, ferchrissakes. As a solution to the apparent inability of some farkers to butter corn, this item is the bomb:

 ts4.mm.bing.net

Not only does it free up valuable plate space, it keeps the butter in contact with the corn and one quick twirl of the cob butters the whole thing. It also provides a convenient place for the cob when finished. You can also add seasoning to the butter before you put the hot cob in, providing endless taste combinations - curry, garlic, smoked paprika, etc., and you wind up with a perfectly buttered and seasoned side dish. Add the little corn cob holder thingies

ecx.images-amazon.com

and you're all set.
2013-02-03 04:19:06 AM  
1 votes:

W.C.fields forever: FloydA: W.C.fields forever: When I was a shorty,my Pops had a hot dog contraption.It had prongs at
both ends.It would electricute six hot dogs.Anybody else remember this thing?

/ It was odd because my Pops is the greatest cook I know.

You may be remembering the PrestoTM Hot Dogger
[i105.photobucket.com image 400x237]

In practice:
[i105.photobucket.com image 640x480]

There were several similar ones- my dad (an inveterate gizmo head) probably bought at least one of each, but all of them were basically the same idea.  None of them made very good hot dogs, but back in the 1970s, we didn't really care- it was a "neat new space-age technology" and that was good enough.

/space food sticks for lunchbox snacks and astronaut ice cream for desert!

Its close.I can still taste that...I still give Pops sh*t about that.
Pops still makes the best N.Y.style dog wit da onions.
/ his brother Joe(my Uncle had a hot dog stand in San Diego)
//I like Hoe dog stands


If you GIS "presto hot dogger," we had the one with the arched top and the cooking unit that pulls out like a drawer. I made frequent use of it when I came home from school. It did cook the farking hell out of the hot dogs, and smelled like the future.
2013-02-03 01:23:39 AM  
1 votes:

insano: The Dog Ate My Homework: CmndrFish: Maybe my Midwestern is showing, but the butter spreaders for corn on the cob are awesome.

Sure, they only serve one purpose, but they do it really well.  It's infinitely easier than trying to spread it with a knife or something.

I'll second that. These things are great.

I will third that.

I also have to disagree with the author's assertion that cutting a pizza with scissors is ridiculous. It is much easier to cut a pizza with scissors than with a pizza wheel. If owning a pizza-specific cutting tool is silly, then that applies equally to the pizza wheel.


Having lived in Korea, I have to say Westerners really should buy a decent pair of food scissors.  Kept clean when not in use and only ever used to cut food, they're amazingly useful.  There are fairly common situations in which scissors work much, much better for cutting food than a knife or other cutting tool.
2013-02-03 12:02:50 AM  
1 votes:

W.C.fields forever: When I was a shorty,my Pops had a hot dog contraption.It had prongs at
both ends.It would electricute six hot dogs.Anybody else remember this thing?

/ It was odd because my Pops is the greatest cook I know.


You may be remembering the PrestoTM Hot Dogger
i105.photobucket.com

In practice:
i105.photobucket.com

There were several similar ones- my dad (an inveterate gizmo head) probably bought at least one of each, but all of them were basically the same idea.  None of them made very good hot dogs, but back in the 1970s, we didn't really care- it was a "neat new space-age technology" and that was good enough.

/space food sticks for lunchbox snacks and astronaut ice cream for desert!
2013-02-02 09:36:26 PM  
1 votes:

Pootums: I must disagree. These things are GREAT.
4 clicks = 1 tblsp of butter.
2 clicks = melty buttered toast
8 clicks in the mashed potato pot and I still have not had to bring out any plate, butter dish and a knife.
Steamed broccoli = 4-6 clicks on the hot veg in the colander - perfect spread.
My wife LOVES hers.


Checked it out on Amazon and learned that California has short butter. That explains A LOT!

Form Amazon comments:

" Where is 4.75" a standard length?!?
October 20, 2012 By David B. "movie collector"
Who, besides Land-o-Lakes makes 1/4 lb sticks that are 4.75"?!! (and God only knows where that's shipped into the state from...) No one in California. What a waste of money and a stupid product that you have to measure your sticks of butter to figure out that the standard length of a stick of butter on the west coast is 3.25" - I shouldn't have to know that!"
2013-02-02 08:53:10 PM  
1 votes:

FrancoFile: The Goddess Anoia does not approve.


Ah, yes, the goddess of small, useless kitchen devices that make your kitchen drawers difficult to open. Yeah, she requires the purchase of such items as egg cubers and banananananana slicers at least once a year on her feast day.
2013-02-02 05:55:07 PM  
1 votes:

katerbug72: I only just learned I've been peeling bananas wrong all these years. Oh, how many bananas have I squished the shiat out of trying to get them open?


I open bananas from the normal end. The trick is to first scrape your thumbnail across it at the base of the stem. Then pull the stem back and the skin will split at that point.
2013-02-02 05:46:23 PM  
1 votes:
www.myretroflix.com

/Can it core a apple?
2013-02-02 05:31:55 PM  
1 votes:
cdn.pastemagazine.comI must disagree. These things are GREAT.
4 clicks = 1 tblsp of butter.
2 clicks = melty buttered toast
8 clicks in the mashed potato pot and I still have not had to bring out any plate, butter dish and a knife.
Steamed broccoli = 4-6 clicks on the hot veg in the colander - perfect spread.
My wife LOVES hers.
2013-02-02 05:07:33 PM  
1 votes:

strathmeyer: Ed Finnerty: Ummm. How are you going to place it in this thing if your wrists can't handle the weight?

Does it come with a front-end loader?

My mother has Parkinson's, you jerk!



Don't be ridiculous.  That's not how Parkinson's works.
2013-02-02 05:03:15 PM  
1 votes:

awfulperson: Oh, and I have a Henckel's cutting board that was made of the SOFTEST, sh*ttiest wood. Honestly, it's like someone crossed a sea sponge and balsa tree, and harvested the timber. Every time I wash it, you can see the soapy water suck up into the surface.


Have you tried oiling it?
2013-02-02 05:02:44 PM  
1 votes:
There is nothing wrong with the butter thing for corn on the cob.  It beats me rolling it right on the stick. Yes, I am that guy.
2013-02-02 05:01:13 PM  
1 votes:
More spaghettassistance.

1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-02 04:58:36 PM  
1 votes:
That butter syringe/extruder thing looks like a good idea if you have a lot of food to butter and would rather not get OCD about buttering the tops of rolls, corn, ... whatever.  The problem is it's not motorized.  It needs a stout gear reduction drive and a metal assembly that will let me lock and load a stick right from the freezer and still pwn it out on whatever the target foodstuff happens to be without any noticeable complaint from the motor.
2013-02-02 04:58:26 PM  
1 votes:

Hitomi Tanaka's Paperweights: ...dafuq is a 'utencil'?


i105.photobucket.com
2013-02-02 04:55:04 PM  
1 votes:

Ed Finnerty: Ummm. How are you going to place it in this thing if your wrists can't handle the weight?

[cdn.pastemagazine.com image 300x259]

Does it come with a front-end loader?


A person with poor dexterity could lug the thing with a strong two handed grip onto and off of the grip.  Like someone else said, imagine an old person.  In this case imagine their hands shaking spilling milk as they pour as opposed to using this device.

/If I was marketing this I would show a dog carrying a jug of milk onto the thing and then have it pour a glass of milk.
2013-02-02 04:54:09 PM  
1 votes:
I think that corkscrews without some form of lever are the most useless. It seems EVERYONE has one of those in the junk drawer, a flimsy corkscrew with a tiny handle and no pry-thingie--only ever gets pulled out when the REAL corkscrew gets lost. Miserable.
2013-02-02 04:53:40 PM  
1 votes:
Counter space, the final frontier.

www.thinkgeek.com
2013-02-02 04:46:41 PM  
1 votes:
The cheese board with the mouse knife isn't useless, it's just kitschy.

Not that I need any more cheese knives. At Christmas, my wife has a few clients give her wine and cheese baskets and they always come with a knife.
2013-02-02 04:46:27 PM  
1 votes:

Hitomi Tanaka's Paperweights: ...dafuq is a 'utencil'?


Next to the tonsells, under the glattice.
2013-02-02 04:44:11 PM  
1 votes:
I disagree with the butter spreader. Although if you don't have one, butter the corn with a slice of bread and eat the melty butter bread.
2013-02-02 04:39:32 PM  
1 votes:
Unitaskers?
2013-02-02 04:39:13 PM  
1 votes:
cdn-static.cnet.co.uk

Don't forget Mimosian anti-matter chopsticks...
2013-02-02 04:36:24 PM  
1 votes:

CmndrFish: Maybe my Midwestern is showing, but the butter spreaders for corn on the cob are awesome.

Sure, they only serve one purpose, but they do it really well.  It's infinitely easier than trying to spread it with a knife or something.


I'll second that. These things are great.
2013-02-02 04:35:35 PM  
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: ...and just what is the purpose of the spork?


Science Officer.
2013-02-02 04:01:09 PM  
1 votes:
t1.gstatic.com

Unless you're hunting cats.
2013-02-02 03:51:30 PM  
1 votes:
I might get the butter slicer
 
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