FARK.com: (7570905) Uncle Sam's dating advice

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		Uncle Sam's dating advice (411mania.com)		40
		More: Obvious, Uncle Sam, U.S. Department of State, human existence, dating scams, dating site, deep vein thrombosis, dating, medication mistakes

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8022 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2013 at 1:04 PM | Favorite | share:

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edmo		2013-02-02 12:22:46 PM

Not all of our citizens are as brilliant as the author.

doyner		2013-02-02 12:52:51 PM

This is on the Main page? I thought we had a Derp tag.

CygnusDarius		2013-02-02 01:05:58 PM

I WANT YOU!... To go out with me.

Allen. The end.		2013-02-02 01:09:04 PM

So is this just the authors brain spinning out of control?

johnny_vegas		2013-02-02 01:15:07 PM

Wow that was a waste of time. Kinda figured it would be by the initial posts but decided to risk it.

Let my folly serve as an example to you all.

cig-mkr		2013-02-02 01:16:49 PM

I for one welcome our Government Overlords, no more thinking for me, no more having to make decisions, no more having to be responsible for myself. Just join the crowd of sheeple and go with the flow.
I wonder what the Gov will come up with next ? We are economically in deep shait and they are spending money on this?

I May Be Crazy But...		2013-02-02 01:16:50 PM

johnny_vegas: Wow that was a waste of time. Kinda figured it would be by the initial posts but decided to risk it.

Let my folly serve as an example to you all.

I read them and decided I had to see what the fuss was about. I'll let you know how that goes for me.

I May Be Crazy But...		2013-02-02 01:20:23 PM

Well, that was odd. I think the author is angry about government waste, and it trying to use the government giving advice about how to avoid scams as his example.

Cheron		2013-02-02 01:22:06 PM

If I had to choose between a $100m fighter that no one wanted, a bridge to nowhere or help getting laid I'll take the help

here to help		2013-02-02 01:26:18 PM

A site called 411mania has my "sketchy website" senses tingling and the comments here seem to be confirming that. Can someone copy/pasta the text so I can enjoy the derp too?

/kthnx

megarian		2013-02-02 01:28:32 PM

What...what the hell happened there?

Is the author okay? Did I actually just read a stroke?

worlddan		2013-02-02 01:29:42 PM

Honestly, the government's advice is far better advice than I ever got from my parents or extended family. The sum total advice that my parents gave me on sex and dating was, "Who are you, again?"

Devo		2013-02-02 01:29:51 PM

I could not read that.

I May Be Crazy But...		2013-02-02 01:30:34 PM

megarian: What...what the hell happened there?

Is the author okay? Did I actually just read a stroke?

Possibly a warning to everyone with manageable mental illness to take their medicine.

Hector Remarkable		2013-02-02 01:32:19 PM

Your blog sucks.

I May Be Crazy But...		2013-02-02 01:33:09 PM

worlddan: Honestly, the government's advice is far better advice than I ever got from my parents or extended family. The sum total advice that my parents gave me on sex and dating was, "Who are you, again?"

Heh. My mother's advice was "Oh, I'm sure you'll do fine" and my father's was to ask someone whose marriage didn't fall apart.

So I went with what comes natural. You know, stammering and hiding in the corner, that sort of thing.

theBigBigEye		2013-02-02 01:34:31 PM

doyner: This is on the Main page? I thought we had a Derp tag.

If this were a left-leaning article on the same website, I'm sure you'd be saying something very different.

doyner		2013-02-02 01:38:21 PM

theBigBigEye: doyner: This is on the Main page? I thought we had a Derp tag.

If this were a left-leaning article on the same website, I'm sure you'd be saying something very different.

I guess we're both predictable.

aerojockey		2013-02-02 01:38:59 PM

This link reminds me of my pure vitrolic inhuman loathing of Magic tape.
www.aerojockey.com

apoptotic		2013-02-02 01:41:36 PM

So...government is unnecessary because Google. Gotcha.

Resident Muslim		2013-02-02 01:43:20 PM

CygnusDarius: I WANT YOU!... To go out with me.

Yup.
Came to make the obvious joke.

Marcus Aurelius		2013-02-02 01:43:46 PM

But I was assured that land wars in Asia would pay for themselves.

sauce_jenkins		2013-02-02 01:46:58 PM

Stopped reading after the first paragraph. 2/10

AmbassadorBooze		2013-02-02 01:49:27 PM

megarian: What...what the hell happened there?

Is the author okay? Did I actually just read a stroke?

You just extracted the wordless confusion I had after reading tfa, and distilled it into a coherent thought. Thank you very much.

The sound of one hand clapping		2013-02-02 01:51:56 PM

Couldn't they just sum up their advice with the statement 'Beware the Myspace angle photo's'.

megarian		2013-02-02 01:52:42 PM

AmbassadorBooze: megarian: What...what the hell happened there?

Is the author okay? Did I actually just read a stroke?

You just extracted the wordless confusion I had after reading tfa, and distilled it into a coherent thought. Thank you very much.

/just a concerned citizen.

Fano		2013-02-02 02:06:07 PM

Always fight wars in nations with sexy women?

picturescrazy		2013-02-02 02:33:59 PM

I thought the author was trying to be silly. Maybe I'm wrong. I still couldn't finish it.

mofa		2013-02-02 03:00:41 PM

Given all of the news about the football guy and his imaginary girlfriend, as well as the discussions of scams people seem to fall for, I'm glad my taxes are going to pay for such attempts to educate people. It's definitely better use of the money than having Congress waste the time and energy to have the 34th symbolic vote against Obamacare?

Enigmamf		2013-02-02 03:13:41 PM

The state department is often brought in to try to resolve these types of scams in the aftermath. Is it any wonder the state department chose to write a memo about it?

And is writing a memo really the biggest example of Big Evil Government Waste that this author can think of?

LavenderWolf		2013-02-02 03:38:37 PM

Jesus christ, I got through about one paragraph before I threw up my hands and said "This is too stupid for words."

DB		2013-02-02 04:12:24 PM

The comments section...

wtf did i just read?

WordyGrrl		2013-02-02 05:02:44 PM

My mom's advice for those online dating sites: If the ad says "willing to relocate" it actually means "I'm anxious to find a sucker I can move in with and freeload of off for the rest of my life."

BolshyGreatYarblocks		2013-02-02 05:42:35 PM

Frankly as old and stringy as he looks, I wouldn't imagine Uncle Sam gets laid all that much. Could it be the power to print money that allures? All the bigshot Davos contacts? Knowing Henry Kissinger on a first-name basis?

I May Be Crazy But...		2013-02-02 06:03:40 PM

WordyGrrl: My mom's advice for those online dating sites: If the ad says "willing to relocate" it actually means "I'm anxious to find a sucker I can move in with and freeload of off for the rest of my life."

How you doin'? Just so you know, I'm a great catch and I'm willing to relocate!

WordyGrrl		2013-02-02 06:23:11 PM

I May Be Crazy But...: WordyGrrl: My mom's advice for those online dating sites: If the ad says "willing to relocate" it actually means "I'm anxious to find a sucker I can move in with and freeload of off for the rest of my life."

How you doin'? Just so you know, I'm a great catch and I'm willing to relocate!

WordyGrrl's Mom says: "Sorry, but the freeloader position has already been filled by a healthy, good-looking 47-year-old man. Who happens to be my unemployed son. Who does not have a girlfriend. I would be happy to relocate him to a "forever home." Any takers, ladies?"

raatz01		2013-02-02 08:04:25 PM

That's not dating advice, that's a warning about immigration fraud.

United States citizens should be alert to attempts at fraud by persons claiming to live outside of the U.S., professing friendship, romantic interest, and /or marriage intentions over the Internet.

DON.MAC		2013-02-02 09:23:05 PM

A scammer or just a wild girl?

My story from the last 2 months....
• The scammer asks for money to get out of a bad situation or to provide a service.
Check -- need plane ticket to visit again.

• Photographs that the scammer sends of "him/herself" show a very attractive person. The photo appears to have been taken at a professional modeling agency or photographic studio.
Photos of one hot blonde -- Check

• The scammer has incredibly bad luck-- often getting into car crashes, arrested, mugged, beaten, or hospitalized -- usually all within the course of a couple of months. They often claim that their key family members (parents and siblings) are dead. Sometimes, the scammer claims to have an accompanying child overseas who is very sick or has been in an accident.
No, Yes, Yes, Yes all within a few months... The mugger didn't end up happy with his decision. The black eye was a was related to being rude to the men in blue during an arrest. The hospital was a result of a doctor not being able to figure out how to bill her insurance but the over priced ER some how could.

• The scammer claims to be a native-born American citizen, but uses poor grammar indicative of a non-native English speaker. Sometimes the scammer will use eloquent romantic language that is plagiarized from the Internet.
She is proudly Scandinavian and her grammar is great except for getting the subject backwards when using the words loan and borrow.

illbeinmybunk		2013-02-02 11:17:23 PM

I bet the author would refer to tips on how to spot the scammers who have excess building material and offer to repair your //insert problem here// as "home improvement advice". Idiot.

As someone who's MIL fell for not one but two romance scams, and whose mother fell not once, not twice but THREE times for the cash this check and forward it to me scam, yeah I want the government to give out "dating advice". More of it please.

Stupid mother is stupid.

DON.MAC		2013-02-03 02:24:19 AM

illbeinmybunk: As someone who's MIL fell for not one but two romance scams, and whose mother fell not once, not twice but THREE times for the cash this check and forward it to me scam, yeah I want the government to give out "dating advice". More of it please.

My dad's details were used to scam people. He ran into a women at a church function who said it was odd that he would be at that church since he went to a different one and he found out someone had been using his picture and a story of a widower to set up this woman for a scam. She said that she had been hesitant to send the money to cover the operation or disaster or what ever it was but he talked her into going to the police and they helped track down the scammer but only because they could tap in while it was still going on.

Of course he still donates to a church in Florida because they claim that 100% of donations go to the poor in South America. Of course the pastor's brother's shipping company ships the stuff and his investment brother invests the cash at a bit of a loss. Even the bibles they guys buy are from another relatives bible store.

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