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(News.com.au)   You know that airline safety demonstration which you never watch? Here's the important stuff which they conveniently don't tell you   (news.com.au) divider line 30
    More: Interesting, air safety, travel websites, airlines  
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4998 clicks; posted to Business » on 02 Feb 2013 at 7:54 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-02 06:40:25 AM  
Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?
Narrator: So you can breathe.
Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.
Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-02 07:20:55 AM  
Pay off airport security so you can bring a gun and explosives. The gun is to shoot anybody between you and the emergency exit. The explosives are to make your own exit hole if the aisle is clogged with bodies because too many others had the same idea.
 
2013-02-02 08:02:02 AM  
Apply your own oxygen mask before helping others
Keep your seatbelt fastened low and tight around your waist
Turn off your electronic devices during take-off and landing


Um... These are all covered in the safety demonstration.
 
2013-02-02 08:06:28 AM  
I wish they'd just have a test I could take to certify that I already know to put my own mask on first, or that my seat can be used as a floatation device.  Then let me listen to the crappy onboard music thing in peace.
 
2013-02-02 08:08:20 AM  
Invisible blowjob
 
2013-02-02 08:21:09 AM  
They also don't tell you that the oxygen comes from a chemical reaction in most aircraft, not from oxygen piped in from tanks. Link.

They have to be handled properly, too (warning, long article).

The "pull the mask gently toward you" initiates the reaction.

The "count the seats between you and the exit" also is good advice in hotels and motels - count the doors between your room and the exit stairwell in case you have to crawl through smoke and/or darkness to get there.
 
2013-02-02 08:27:58 AM  
When you run from the wreck, run upwind. And keep running.

In case of a cabin fire or smoke in the cabin, the mask will not be deployed. They don't want to feed the fire you know.

Wear fire resistant clothes like jeans/cottons. Skip the polyester and other stuff that melts unless that's the look you want burned into your skin the rest of your life.

Take charge after a crash - yell and point at the nearest exit and tell people to go there. Otherwise, many will dutifully line up to head to the front door again...

Unless you're  4'10", the whole brace position thing is a fantasy. Just lean forward as far as your can and protect your head. That will help you for the first 10 milliseconds of impact and then your body is going to flail about wherever physics takes you.

If the flight attendants look concerned, that may or may not tell you something. Some of them worry too much  If the pilots sound concerned, you should be concerned.
 
2013-02-02 08:28:26 AM  

Unobtanium: The "count the seats between you and the exit" also is good advice in hotels and motels - count the doors between your room and the exit stairwell in case you have to crawl through smoke and/or darkness to get there.


Don't forget:  "In case of a water emergency, your Housemaid can be used as a flotation device."
 
2013-02-02 08:44:10 AM  
fubegra.net
 
2013-02-02 08:49:11 AM  
when in trouble, or in doubt
run in circles, scream and shout
 
2013-02-02 08:59:45 AM  
14) Always, ALWAYS have the lasagna.
 
2013-02-02 09:14:03 AM  
3/4 quarters of plane crash victims survive? Is that true?

I mean I know a lot of crashes are on take off and landing so it makes sense that a good bunch of those people survive. But I always thought there were enough "we're falling out of the air from 30,000 feet" crashes that killed everyone that would offset that.

Either way I'm still scared of flying, and I hate this article.
 
2013-02-02 09:44:02 AM  
I remember my first flight at the ripe old age of 14, into JFK. We had moderate turbulence on take-off, and my dad saw that I was worried. He turned to me and calmly said (mind you, this is an air traffic controller speaking) "Don't worry son, at this elevation, we'll be incinerated if we drop".

/You get high enough, you're dead
 
2013-02-02 09:50:58 AM  

js34603: 3/4 quarters of plane crash victims survive? Is that true?

I mean I know a lot of crashes are on take off and landing so it makes sense that a good bunch of those people survive. But I always thought there were enough "we're falling out of the air from 30,000 feet" crashes that killed everyone that would offset that.

Either way I'm still scared of flying, and I hate this article.


I'm guessing it really means that 3/4 of people in plane crashes were in ones where almost everybody survived and the rest were in crashes where everybody died.  I recall several crashes where everybody lived or everybody died but not any where a significant portion died.
 
2013-02-02 10:15:05 AM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-02-02 10:15:13 AM  
According to travel website AirfareWatchdog.com, life vests are a popular souvenir for travellers.

How big a dick do you have to be to steal the live vest from a plane?
 
2013-02-02 10:19:29 AM  

Orion5k: I remember my first flight at the ripe old age of 14, into JFK. We had moderate turbulence on take-off, and my dad saw that I was worried. He turned to me and calmly said (mind you, this is an air traffic controller speaking) "Don't worry son, at this elevation, we'll be incinerated if we drop".

/You get high enough, you're dead


What a relief.
 
2013-02-02 11:26:32 AM  

js34603: 3/4 quarters of plane crash victims survive? Is that true?

I mean I know a lot of crashes are on take off and landing so it makes sense that a good bunch of those people survive. But I always thought there were enough "we're falling out of the air from 30,000 feet" crashes that killed everyone that would offset that.

Either way I'm still scared of flying, and I hate this article.


I don't understand the 3/4 figure. According to this, it looks like if you're in an accident that includes fatalities, you're going to die. Since most airplane accidents seem to be fender benders, maybe that's why the survival rate appears high. Or, that's an Australian website. Maybe by the time the Australian investigators get to a crash site, most of the bodies have been eaten by dingos and snakes and spiders the size of a school bus, and the official cause of death is ruled "He got et", and not "He fell from the sky screaming."
 
2013-02-02 11:34:01 AM  
I don't want them telling me any more stuff. The lecture is long enough as it is.
 
2013-02-02 01:04:16 PM  

Tobin_Lam: js34603: 3/4 quarters of plane crash victims survive? Is that true?

I mean I know a lot of crashes are on take off and landing so it makes sense that a good bunch of those people survive. But I always thought there were enough "we're falling out of the air from 30,000 feet" crashes that killed everyone that would offset that.

Either way I'm still scared of flying, and I hate this article.

I'm guessing it really means that 3/4 of people in plane crashes were in ones where almost everybody survived and the rest were in crashes where everybody died.  I recall several crashes where everybody lived or everybody died but not any where a significant portion died.




www.unitedafa.org
 
2013-02-02 01:37:39 PM  

rumpelstiltskin: js34603: 3/4 quarters of plane crash victims survive? Is that true?

I mean I know a lot of crashes are on take off and landing so it makes sense that a good bunch of those people survive. But I always thought there were enough "we're falling out of the air from 30,000 feet" crashes that killed everyone that would offset that.

Either way I'm still scared of flying, and I hate this article.

I don't understand the 3/4 figure. According to this, it looks like if you're in an accident that includes fatalities, you're going to die. Since most airplane accidents seem to be fender benders, maybe that's why the survival rate appears high. Or, that's an Australian website. Maybe by the time the Australian investigators get to a crash site, most of the bodies have been eaten by dingos and snakes and spiders the size of a school bus, and the official cause of death is ruled "He got et", and not "He fell from the sky screaming."


So, they use the same type of data collection use to report "Alcohol Related Accidents".
 
2013-02-02 01:41:15 PM  
The advice on life vests is stupid.  You want the vest ON but not inflated before leaving the plane.  Trying to put it on after jumping in the water is just asking Darwin to drown you.
 
2013-02-02 02:57:41 PM  
annnnd that article was a waste of time! next!
 
2013-02-02 05:50:43 PM  

ZAZ: Pay off airport security so you can bring a gun and explosives. The gun is to shoot anybody between you and the emergency exit. The explosives are to make your own exit hole if the aisle is clogged with bodies because too many others had the same idea.


I want to get, and carry, a smokehood. The cheap ones don't protect against carbon monoxide but will protect you against smoke, flame, soot etc.

Problem is, when do you put it on? Too early and you're sitting there in a plane plummeting earthward surrounded by two hundred people staring at you muttering "That bastards got a smokehood..."
I imagine that could get ugly.
 
2013-02-02 08:13:30 PM  
If the cabin loses pressure, you'll only have about 15 seconds to start breathing through the oxygen mask before you lose consciousness

I don't get this.  I can hold my breath for nearly two minutes.  Why would I pass out in 15 seconds?  Couldn't I just hold my breath for a minute?
 
2013-02-02 09:01:26 PM  
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-02 09:08:50 PM  
Marcus Aurelius

Your lungs can keep the air inside up at about 0.5 pounds per square inch higher pressure than outside. You can't stop most of the air from leaving your lungs when cabin pressure drops from 10 psi to 4 psi during decompression.
 
2013-02-03 02:15:19 AM  

Fubegra: [Fight Club Air Card]


Was at a company that was going down quick, that was my desktop for the last three months.  Ah, the good old days.

//At least the severance was decent
 
2013-02-03 11:18:32 AM  

Unobtanium: They also don't tell you that the oxygen comes from a chemical reaction in most aircraft, not from oxygen piped in from tanks. Link.

They have to be handled properly, too (warning, long article).

The "pull the mask gently toward you" initiates the reaction.

The "count the seats between you and the exit" also is good advice in hotels and motels - count the doors between your room and the exit stairwell in case you have to crawl through smoke and/or darkness to get there.


From your linked article: "And then, of course, there was the set of new replacement canisters, which were both unexpended and unexpired. If this seems confusing, do not waste your time trying to figure it out-the SabreTech mechanics did not, nor should they have been expected to. "

Total BS.  That crash was THEIR fault.
 
2013-02-03 11:27:33 AM  

Marcus Aurelius: If the cabin loses pressure, you'll only have about 15 seconds to start breathing through the oxygen mask before you lose consciousness

I don't get this.  I can hold my breath for nearly two minutes.  Why would I pass out in 15 seconds?  Couldn't I just hold my breath for a minute?


Well, are you moving around panicked in a plane crash while you practice holding your breath?

Try holding your breath and going for a light jog and see if you last 2 minutes.
 
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