Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Alabama 'survivalist killer' wants own reality show in exchange for five-year-old hostage   ( dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Followup, Alabama, bunkers, hostages  
•       •       •

11398 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2013 at 6:58 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



134 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-02-02 12:19:41 AM  
Give it to him. Episode one, slow motion video of a dozen cops pumping him full of lead.
 
2013-02-02 12:25:39 AM  
Sure... come up and sign your exclusive contract for American Sniper
 
2013-02-02 12:32:11 AM  
He wants a reporter sent to him? Great, now he's going to have 2 hostages instead of one.
 
2013-02-02 01:03:49 AM  
Maybe something with leather seats and really crappy mileage?
 
2013-02-02 06:31:27 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Sure... come up and sign your exclusive contract for American Sniper


+1
 
2013-02-02 06:56:08 AM  

whither_apophis: Maybe something with leather seats and really crappy mileage?


You let the minor go, and we'll even throw in a Blaupunkt.
 
2013-02-02 06:59:58 AM  
force him to watch Fark-TV.  He will come out quickly.
 
2013-02-02 07:02:46 AM  
 
2013-02-02 07:02:56 AM  
Send in a cop pretending to be a reporter, with one of those fake cellphones that is actually a stun-gun. Once the boy is clear (either released or cop is between maniac and the boy), unleash the fury of Tesla on that moran!
 
2013-02-02 07:03:58 AM  
I didn't realize this hadn't been resolved. At least the kid is still alive.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-02 07:08:32 AM  
Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)
 
2013-02-02 07:09:52 AM  

ZAZ: Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)


Yep. Killing everyone with an aersolized sufentayl derivative very unresponsive to NARCAN really works out well.
 
2013-02-02 07:11:16 AM  

ZAZ: Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)


Shouldn't be hard to get the ghb, just stop by the local university. Now making it an aerosol will be harder
 
2013-02-02 07:12:04 AM  
This sounds like a job for Jon Ronson!

Unless of course his next demand is for a million dollars, a getaway car and to have the letter "M" stricken from the English language...
 
2013-02-02 07:13:35 AM  
You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?
 
2013-02-02 07:14:41 AM  

fusillade762: This sounds like a job for Jon Ronson!

Unless of course his next demand is for a million dollars, a getaway car and to have the letter "M" stricken from the English language...


ITS TOO SOON YOU ASSHOLE!

static.guim.co.uk

/RIP M.
 
2013-02-02 07:15:20 AM  
Give him a contract with whatever terms he wants, have him sign it. Once he releases the kid, arrest him, point out that a contract signed under duress is invalid, and lock him up for the rest of his life.
 
2013-02-02 07:16:09 AM  

BronyMedic: ZAZ: Police should ask Russians for advice on dealing with hostage takers in confined spaces.
(wikilink)

Yep. Killing everyone with an aersolized sufentayl derivative very unresponsive to NARCAN really works out well.


And I'm sure the dose for a 5 year old and grown man are the same
 
2013-02-02 07:16:39 AM  
Vietnam vets:

Secretary of State
Secretary of Defense...almost
Secretary of Going Postal
 
2013-02-02 07:16:43 AM  
cdn.dottech.org
 
2013-02-02 07:17:46 AM  
Do the allow TV crews in Alabama prisons? Or would this be based in a federal facility?
 
2013-02-02 07:20:31 AM  

zedster: And I'm sure the dose for a 5 year old and grown man are the same


Fentanyl's a weird drug when it comes to kids. They actually get more for their weight than adults do to induce sedation and pain control. The pain dose for a Pediatric patient is 1-2mcg/kg slow IV Push with the RSI/Sedation dose approaching a max of 4mcg/kg to a max of 25-50mcg, and for an infant it's 2-3mcg/kg. Adults typically get 1mcg/kg up to a max of 50mcg if they're narcotic nieve (not on long-term narc therapy).

The problem with the weaponized version is it's a derivative of Sufentanyl, which is 100x more potent than Fentanyl is, and it's rapidly absorbed and has a shiatty response to naloxone reversal, which is the typical reversal agent that EMS uses in the United States. Not only does it knock your respiratory drive out, it can also cause major chest wall rigidity in high concentrations administered rapidly, and can tank your blood pressure.
 
2013-02-02 07:21:15 AM  
I'm all for this.  It could be like Survivor, but the objective is for him to avoid being anally raped for 30 days.  If he wins, he gets 30 days in solitary.  If he loses, inmates pull a train on him....dry.
 
2013-02-02 07:21:57 AM  
If the child wasn't mentally handicap I would say wait him out. Since the child is pump a poisonous gas down there and be done with it.
 
2013-02-02 07:25:24 AM  
Great, just what we need... another nut job drinking his own pee on the Discovery Channel.
 
2013-02-02 07:26:12 AM  
I'll bet this guys loves his guns. And what a surprise, he is insane.
 
2013-02-02 07:26:37 AM  
The only question is who he wants to costar in his reality TV show: Glenn Beck or Bill O'Reilly.
 
2013-02-02 07:27:49 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: If the child wasn't mentally handicap I would say wait him out. Since the child is pump a poisonous gas down there and be done with it.


O.o
 
2013-02-02 07:28:32 AM  

cowgirl toffee: Great, just what we need... another nut job drinking his own pee on the Discovery Channel.

Nat Geo.

FTFY

/Gotta love them doomsday preppers, they make me seem normal.
 
2013-02-02 07:28:50 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: If the child wasn't mentally handicap I would say wait him out. Since the child is pump a poisonous gas down there and be done with it.


How do you work up the energy to do that on a Saturday morning?
 
2013-02-02 07:31:11 AM  

SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?


It's called PTSD.
 
2013-02-02 07:34:24 AM  

digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.


 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.
 
2013-02-02 07:34:56 AM  

assjuice: I'll bet this guys loves his guns. And what a surprise, he is insane.


Do you know of a better way to get (perceived) respect for insane beliefs?
 
2013-02-02 07:35:25 AM  
you have to wonder if the guy has a chemical toilet and even then as long as they've been in there the health hazards of just being in a confined space with no facilities has to be reaching some threshold. you can't just let them stay in there.

if he would agree to swap the kid for a reporter then yeah send a cop in and as soon as the kid is clear take the mofo down.
 
2013-02-02 07:35:35 AM  
FA: "There is a coi carp pond and a winding path before the ground rises to conceal two old freight containers buried beneath"

It is a sad but beautiful world.
 
2013-02-02 07:35:36 AM  

BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.


True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.
 
2013-02-02 07:36:51 AM  

digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.


Do you have a GED in psychology?
 
2013-02-02 07:37:18 AM  
i49.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-02 07:38:05 AM  

zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: ...

Do you have a GED in psychology?


Ridin' the short bus to college.
 
2013-02-02 07:39:46 AM  
we should see if he would trade the boy for Glenn Beck and Alex Jones.
 
2013-02-02 07:40:50 AM  

Hobodeluxe: we should see if he would trade the boy for Glenn Beck and Alex Jones.


If we do this, can we just bulldoze over the bunker?
 
2013-02-02 07:42:52 AM  

zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.

Do you have a GED in psychology?


I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.
 
2013-02-02 07:43:27 AM  

digistil: zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.

Do you have a GED in psychology?

I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.


*mostly dealing with schizophrenia.
 
2013-02-02 07:44:03 AM  
huh, turns out he doesn't want anything along those lines subby
not that that would stop a shiatty greenlight around here

He says 4 hours into this all he wants is to tell his story and he'll let the kid go?

No wonder they were keeping quiet about his demands for days,
if anyone found out that they could have resolved this thing last week but instead incompetently drug it out they would be pissed.

Police negotiators are not negotiators.  They are mind farkers, and very good ones. They just try to shrink the threat's mind until the rest of the cops can capitalize on a mistake. In this situation with no way in/out... it's a dumb strategy. They should have promised him whatever he wanted to open the hatch first day in.

Hopefully they did and this isn't the full story, which I'm guessing is the case but it's hard to tell with direct quotes from the police confirming it followed by no explanation about why the deal didn't take.
 
2013-02-02 07:44:18 AM  
"Bus driver Charles Poland was allegedly shot while trying to prevent the gunman from hurting any children"

While reading the article and looking at the pictures I noticed the statement about the bus driver being allegedly shot. The matter of him being shot is not "allegedly" because hospital records can confirm that; maybe it is alleged that Jimmy Lee Dykes did it.
 
2013-02-02 07:44:38 AM  

BronyMedic: Hobodeluxe: we should see if he would trade the boy for Glenn Beck and Alex Jones.

If we do this, can we just bulldoze over the bunker?


No need, just need to close off all the air vents.
 
2013-02-02 07:46:12 AM  
I seriously hope he's the reason you people get your guns taken away. I really do.
 
2013-02-02 07:46:15 AM  
The guy is stuck in a tiny windowless bunker with a 5-year old ass pie with ADHD. He can't last much longer.
 
2013-02-02 07:51:41 AM  
Wake me up when he's demanding naked pictures of Bea Arthur and 93 copies of "Moby Dick."
 
2013-02-02 07:54:02 AM  
Release a python trained to attack only adults theough the air vent while the guy is asleep.

I'd like a reality show in exchange for providing this solution
 
2013-02-02 07:57:05 AM  

digistil: I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.


If that is the case you should know the dangers of remote diagnosis. Have you seen his medical files? Maybe he went off his meds or suffered a chemical imbalance or had the fish for dinner

It could be many things. The troupe of Vietnam vet snaps PTSD is from movies not real life. Most mentally ill are not violent. They are criminal because Regan shutdown mental health services so they get picked up for crimes like vagrancy and trespassing.
 
2013-02-02 07:59:25 AM  

zedster: digistil: I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.

If that is the case you should know the dangers of remote diagnosis. Have you seen his medical files? Maybe he went off his meds or suffered a chemical imbalance or had the fish for dinner

It could be many things. The troupe of Vietnam vet snaps PTSD is from movies not real life. Most mentally ill are not violent. They are criminal because Regan shutdown mental health services so they get picked up for crimes like vagrancy and trespassing.


Easy. I'm pretty sure it's light-natured speculation, and no one is trying to make an expert diagnosis at this point.
 
2013-02-02 08:02:20 AM  

willfullyobscure: I seriously hope he's the reason you people get your guns taken away. I really do.


I really hope he's the reason reality tv is banned.

/Duck Dynasty and Pawn Stars can stay.
 
2013-02-02 08:02:28 AM  
Sure, give him a show on FARK TV. He can be in a Very Special Episode of <b>Honk Bag</b>.

/...playing the part of the squeaky toys.
 
2013-02-02 08:05:10 AM  
So sad that he thinks kidnapping a child is going to make his problems better. I hope the negotiator is able to free the kid, but no way should that nutbag get a soapbox to air his problems. Then everytime someone has a problem with the government, they'll just kidnap someone to have their demands met.
 
2013-02-02 08:08:50 AM  
It is most frighteng that he apparently wanted two kids.
 
2013-02-02 08:14:10 AM  

zedster: digistil: I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.

If that is the case you should know the dangers of remote diagnosis. Have you seen his medical files? Maybe he went off his meds or suffered a chemical imbalance or had the fish for dinner

It could be many things. The troupe of Vietnam vet snaps PTSD is from movies not real life. Most mentally ill are not violent. They are criminal because Regan shutdown mental health services so they get picked up for crimes like vagrancy and trespassing.


Assuming you're being serious, this is the internets... I'm only speculating. That said, I'd be very surprised if it was anything other than PTSD.

You're completely correct in stating most mentally ill people are not violent. Very, very few are a danger to anyone, including themselves. Sadly, I can't say that for normal people.

/Reagan
 
2013-02-02 08:17:01 AM  

Witchydiva: Give him a contract with whatever terms he wants, have him sign it. Once he releases the kid, arrest him, point out that a contract signed under duress is invalid, and lock him up for the rest of his life.


This. Cover the contract with lots of official-looking seals and stamps, tell him he has immunity from prosecution, that he can found his very own Republic of Dave, whatever.
 
2013-02-02 08:18:58 AM  
They should get Glenn Beck to come over there and talk to him, and have him pull out his chalkboard to show him how holing up in a bunker with a child hostage is just what the government wants him to do so they can steal all the guns out of his house and sell his property to turn it into a Muslim temple that performs abortions and gay marriages.  He'll be out of that bunker waving his gun in an instant, and it will be the first time in history Glenn Beck will have done something worthwhile.
 
2013-02-02 08:19:59 AM  

whither_apophis: Maybe something with leather seats and really crappy mileage?


atdetroit.net
 
2013-02-02 08:20:37 AM  
The media needs to answer the important questions.

What comic books did they send down for the kid?
 
2013-02-02 08:21:01 AM  

skinink: So sad that he thinks kidnapping a child is going to make his problems better. I hope the negotiator is able to free the kid, but no way should that nutbag get a soapbox to air his problems. Then everytime someone has a problem with the government, they'll just kidnap someone to have their demands met.


That's why the rule is to not negotiate with terrorists. It's a little more difficult in reality. Paying ransoms encourages kidnapping but I hope someone pays it if I ever get kidnapped.
 
2013-02-02 08:22:56 AM  

zedster: the local university


You are aware that this is Alabama, right?
 
2013-02-02 08:23:53 AM  

serial_crusher: The media needs to answer the important questions.

What comic books did they send down for the kid?


No. no. They need to ask the kid's parents how they FEEL about all this.
 
2013-02-02 08:29:22 AM  

Fast Moon: They should get Glenn Beck to come over there and talk to him, and have him pull out his chalkboard to show him how holing up in a bunker with a child hostage is just what the government wants him to do so they can steal all the guns out of his house and sell his property to turn it into a Muslim temple that performs abortions and gay marriages.  He'll be out of that bunker waving his gun in an instant, and it will be the first time in history Glenn Beck will have done something worthwhile.


I don't think you are serious but this is a good idea.
 
2013-02-02 08:36:17 AM  
What's his freeper handle?
 
2013-02-02 08:38:20 AM  

lelio: What's his freeper handle?


I am oddly curious to find out if somebody in freeperland thinks this clown is a hero.  I bet it's a sizeable minority.
 
2013-02-02 08:42:53 AM  
Send the Algerian police to get him out.
 
2013-02-02 08:45:37 AM  
www.tvequals.com
 
2013-02-02 08:46:07 AM  

digistil: That said, I'd be very surprised if it was anything other than PTSD.


How about "he's a corn-fed idiot"?
 
2013-02-02 08:50:31 AM  
He's gotta sleep sometime. Send in some kinda drone with a poison dart.
 
2013-02-02 08:51:23 AM  
I dunno, the lead in "Ow! My Balls!" might be appropriate.
 
2013-02-02 08:52:34 AM  
The cops released a picture of the piece of shiat.

i595.photobucket.com

I'm really looking forward to the government offering their retort to this idiot's political views with some of the taxpayer's bullets.
 
2013-02-02 09:01:28 AM  
Drop a couple gernades down the pvc pipe.
 
2013-02-02 09:02:09 AM  

SDRR: Drop a couple gernades down the pvc pipe.


Ah, the "shoot the hostage" tactic!

www.gaffngun.com
 
2013-02-02 09:04:21 AM  

macadamnut: digistil: That said, I'd be very surprised if it was anything other than PTSD.

How about "he's a corn-fed idiot"?


This. A steady diet of Fox "News" and the usual Baptist End-of-the-World-Here's-How-to-Prepare-For-It indoctrination is more than enough to create a paranoid personality all by itself.
 
2013-02-02 09:08:37 AM  

willfullyobscure: I seriously hope he's the reason you people get your guns taken away. I really do.



Reason?
 
2013-02-02 09:17:34 AM  
Time to call in the expert.
 
2013-02-02 09:17:42 AM  
This is actually a pretty good break in the case, since what the guy is almost certainly going to get is a cop dressed up as a reporter, who will tackle, taze, or shoot him at the very first opportunity. The sleep deprivation the hostage-taker has been building up should lower his vigilance and increase his reaction time, making it very likely to succeed.
 
2013-02-02 09:20:12 AM  

Amos Quito: Time to call in the expert.


news.bbc.co.uk

/Image fail
 
2013-02-02 09:20:25 AM  
www.thedailyrash.com
For this job I say its time to call in the experts.
This lady has experience with chemical baby sitters.
 
2013-02-02 09:20:55 AM  

Amos Quito: Amos Quito: Time to call in the expert.

[news.bbc.co.uk image 150x180]

/Image fail


www.freegolfinfo.com
 
2013-02-02 09:22:46 AM  

digistil: digistil: zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.

Do you have a GED in psychology?

I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.

*mostly dealing with schizophrenia.


Ahhh internet diagnoses of a total stranger by a so called mental health expert. Seems legit. Your shinny nickle knowledge of schizophrenia seems to have blinded you to the reality the ptsddoesnt work that way. It may affect him to make irrational in the moment choices, but long term planning of abusive and dangeoures goals mixed with blatant parinoia clearly indicate mental health issues far beyond ptsd. Just saying dick, blame ptsd one more time with out doing any isolation of other mental issues. That or publish your real name so your peers can point and laugh. Misinformation about mental health issues can be extremly dangerous.
 
2013-02-02 09:23:29 AM  

willfullyobscure: I seriously hope he's the reason you people get your guns taken away. I really do.


I really hope once the guns are taken away, you become the victim of gun violence due to being unable to defend yourself.

/amidoinitrite?
 
2013-02-02 09:30:35 AM  
Random thought: Did anyone notice how much this assface looks like the owner of the general store from Squidbillies?
 
2013-02-02 09:45:27 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-02 09:49:06 AM  

Amos Quito: Time to call in the expert.


They need to send in someone who knows how to negotiate...
 
2013-02-02 09:52:16 AM  

Rozotorical: digistil: digistil: zedster: digistil: BronyMedic: digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.

 Plenty of other mental illnesses can cause you to have a violent, psychotic break from reality. This man's history and life story reeks of Paranoid/Delusional Disorders.

True, but the others don't crop up this late in life.

Do you have a GED in psychology?

I've got a dozen published papers dealing with mental illness, so someone thinks I know what I'm talking about.

*mostly dealing with schizophrenia.

Ahhh internet diagnoses of a total stranger by a so called mental health expert. Seems legit. Your shinny nickle knowledge of schizophrenia seems to have blinded you to the reality the ptsddoesnt work that way. It may affect him to make irrational in the moment choices, but long term planning of abusive and dangeoures goals mixed with blatant parinoia clearly indicate mental health issues far beyond ptsd. Just saying dick, blame ptsd one more time with out doing any isolation of other mental issues. That or publish your real name so your peers can point and laugh. Misinformation about mental health issues can be extremly dangerous.



You sound fat.
 
2013-02-02 10:13:18 AM  
Just round up Hannity, Savage, Limbaugh, Beck and O'Reilly and drop them down there.  The room is small enough that hopefully the echo chamber would become a resonance chamber where the positive feedback would eventually build to the point that the whole thing crumbles apart and falls in on itself.  Then we could just pave over the location and never speak of it again.
 
2013-02-02 10:25:41 AM  
Maybe I a missing something but this seems like an easy one to solve. The guy and kid have one source of air, a single pipe.  Pump in some sort of gas that will put them both to sleep then open bunker.
 
2013-02-02 10:26:20 AM  

Amos Quito: willfullyobscure: I seriously hope he's the reason you people get your guns taken away. I really do.


Reason?


"you people?"
 
2013-02-02 10:41:32 AM  
Clearly this is just another false flag event conducted by the Liberal Obama Government.  They were losing some steam in the gun control talks now that Sandy has calmed down, what better way to convince all the sheeple that all guns need to be taken away from everyone?  Who really kills an innocent bus driver, and steals an innocent kid?  That doesn't happen unless someone way up high is calling the shots.  What are the chances that the the culprit just happens to take a kid with a diagnosed mental disorder?  Yes, me thinks it was all done to garner more support and more calls of 'won't someone think of the children!' from the sheeple.  This is how it starts, once all our guns are taken away we'll all be saying Heil Obama, or we'll be sent to concentration camps.  They've pretty much emptied the one in Guantanamo Bay of the real threats to 'Merica, so that's the first they'll fill.
 
2013-02-02 10:42:28 AM  

digistil: assjuice: I'll bet this guys loves his guns. And what a surprise, he is insane.

Do you know of a better way to get (perceived) respect for insane beliefs?


Start a religion?
 
2013-02-02 10:45:09 AM  
True Lies/cameraman reference or Jacob's Ladder reference.
Decisions, decisions.
 
2013-02-02 10:50:01 AM  
Having read of the guy's actions leading up to this, I'm seriously wondering why the hell he wasn't already "safely" locked up somewhere.
 
2013-02-02 10:56:43 AM  

StrangeQ: Just round up Hannity, Savage, Limbaugh, Beck and O'Reilly and drop them down there.  The room is small enough that hopefully the echo chamber would become a resonance chamber where the positive feedback would eventually build to the point that the whole thing crumbles apart and falls in on itself.  Then we could just pave over the location and never speak of it again.


The danger with that, of course, is that the echo chamber derp resonance reaches criticality and causes a cascade resonance scenario, which rips a hole in the universe to the border world of Xen, leading to the downfall and enslavement of humanity by aliens.

Of course, as long as we make sure none of them are wearing hazard suits, it may be worth it, I guess.
 
2013-02-02 11:07:32 AM  
eh it's a boy
if it was a girl i'd be totally into that shiat
 
2013-02-02 11:15:07 AM  
With the way things are going in the USA, I think the guy may have a legitimate beef with the government.
Why don't we just hear him out.  It's a shame that he was driven to do what some people consider insane.
But I think most people are deluding themselves if they think the government didn't screw this guy over.
 
2013-02-02 11:23:32 AM  

namegoeshere: It is most frighteng that he apparently wanted two kids.


And now he wants another person to join him in his booby trapped bunker? Sure he wants to tell his side of the story... Right before he detonates his explosives killing two hostages.
 
2013-02-02 11:26:36 AM  
You'd think being locked up in what is essentially a cage with an unmedicated ADHD kid would have been enough for him to surrender by now. At some  point here soon he's going to run out of comic books and all the  pages will be  colored leaving him nothing to do. An ADHD kid with nothing to keep him busy? This stand-off will be over real soon. He will either come  running out of the bunker with his hands in the air or put a bullet in his own head. No one can survive that type of torture!

Problem solved!
 
2013-02-02 11:27:17 AM  

Ima4nic8or: Maybe I a missing something but this seems like an easy one to solve. The guy and kid have one source of air, a single pipe.  Pump in some sort of gas that will put them both to sleep then open bunker.


The whole "rigged with explosives" seems to be the part you're missing.
 
2013-02-02 11:31:58 AM  
See what Fluoride does to a mind ....
 
2013-02-02 11:36:02 AM  

Ima4nic8or: Maybe I a missing something but this seems like an easy one to solve. The guy and kid have one source of air, a single pipe.  Pump in some sort of gas that will put them both to sleep then open bunker.


Sure because a grown adult and a child have the same dosage of sleep aides. Nothing like killing the kid to make the nut job go to sleep.
 
2013-02-02 11:49:21 AM  

BalugaJoe: force him to watch Fark-TV.  He will come out quickly.


You sick bastard, there's an innocent person in there!  What if the child watches that!
 
2013-02-02 11:50:08 AM  

Bangkapi: With the way things are going in the USA, I think the guy may have a legitimate beef with the government.
Why don't we just hear him out.  It's a shame that he was driven to do what some people consider insane.
But I think most people are deluding themselves if they think the government didn't screw this guy over.


.5/10 come on, work the word "libtard" in there at least.
 
2013-02-02 12:21:02 PM  
Just drop a flash bang down the pipe and take the bastard out while he's dazed and confused.  I'm sure the kid and his parents would rather the kid be dazed for a few minutes while being rescued rather than being left any longer with the crazy old guy who is doing who-knows-what to the kid.
 
2013-02-02 12:24:48 PM  

LadySusan: Amos Quito: willfullyobscure: I seriously hope he's the reason you people get your guns taken away. I really do.


Reason?

"you people?"



images.sodahead.com

Indeed.
 
2013-02-02 12:26:23 PM  

Mitrovarr: This is actually a pretty good break in the case, since what the guy is almost certainly going to get is a cop dressed up as a reporter, who will tackle, taze, or shoot him at the very first opportunity. The sleep deprivation the hostage-taker has been building up should lower his vigilance and increase his reaction time, making it very likely to succeed.


He supposedly has a TV and/or radio down there, whether he has a dish or he's off the airwaves is unknown. He's at least likely to get a local talking head first, one recognizable to him. That person would likely have a concealed carry permit to begin with. Then there's the camera operator. That's where the fed or state police would be. And they probably would not do anything first time in, just gain intel. Probably bring burgers or a letter from the kid's mom or something. Unless they saw a chance. But if he's monitoring TV/radio, and they can't take a chance, and he has a statement to air, they have to air it for the kid's sake.
 
2013-02-02 12:28:35 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: See what Fluoride does to a mind ....


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-02 12:43:33 PM  
I hope they take him alive. Then he can have his property violated in prison. All night long.
 
2013-02-02 12:50:15 PM  
i595.photobucket.com

thethingaboutflying.files.wordpress.com

Maybe he was just tired of being Home Alone?
 
2013-02-02 01:03:44 PM  

digistil: SpdrJay: You'd almost think this guy has emotional problems or delusions, huh?

It's called PTSD.


Probably not. PTSD can  trigger disorders (as I explained in the other thread), but is unlikely to cause this sort of total break from reality--it's possible PTSD triggered this, and certainly his PTSD is playing a role in it, but PTSD doesn't even always cause full-blown hallucinations. In the other thread they had a laundry list of his disorders. PTSD is a factor, certainly, but not the sole player.

/Also, this guy:
My name is Sam I'm a US Army Veteran working at Bay Medical Center here in Panama City Fl, I will volunteer to go into the bunker and get this guys story if he will release this little boy. I work in the OR and everyone here knows me. I love to write and If this could get this child released then I would go if given the permission from the authorities to do so.

//This restores my faith in humanity.
 
2013-02-02 01:05:49 PM  

Ima4nic8or: Maybe I a missing something but this seems like an easy one to solve. The guy and kid have one source of air, a single pipe.  Pump in some sort of gas that will put them both to sleep then open bunker.


A small child and an adult. Put the adult to sleep quickly enough that he can't shoot the child or don the gas mask that no doubt he has down there among his end of the world gear. Difficulty: without killing the child.

The Russians have some experience with this type of rescue.
 
2013-02-02 01:08:06 PM  

Bangkapi: With the way things are going in the USA, I think the guy may have a legitimate beef with the government.
Why don't we just hear him out.  It's a shame that he was driven to do what some people consider insane.
But I think most people are deluding themselves if they think the government didn't screw this guy over.


Then everyone who has a beef with the government (and that's probably 99% of us at this point) can go grab a small child to have their biatch heard, too.
 
2013-02-02 01:09:42 PM  

silverjets: Just drop a flash bang down the pipe and take the bastard out while he's dazed and confused.  I'm sure the kid and his parents would rather the kid be dazed for a few minutes while being rescued rather than being left any longer with the crazy old guy who is doing who-knows-what to the kid.


Something something "rigged with explosives" something...
 
2013-02-02 01:16:06 PM  
Hunh...I just checked all the reputable news sources (even Fox News) and didn't see anything about this.

i1136.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-02 01:31:00 PM  

RexTalionis: He wants a reporter sent to him? Great, now he's going to have 2 hostages instead of one.


That 4X6 underground "bunker" isn't a TARDIS you simp (addressed to the loon in said bunker, not at Rex).

Feels bad as Hell for the little aspie kid's predicament but this obnoxious jackwagon needs a bullet in his skull pronto.
 
2013-02-02 01:37:14 PM  

MurphyMurphy: He says 4 hours into this all he wants is to tell his story and he'll let the kid go?


Does it really take four hours just to say "I'm a rude obnoxious asshole towards Humanity. I enjoy killing people's pets. I'm a worthless piece of festering sh*t and I deserve to be dragged naked through a field of broken jagged glass before I have my head stomped on by a post driver."?
 
2013-02-02 01:41:45 PM  

Ima4nic8or: The guy and kid have one source of air, a single pipe.


I wonder if Genius ever factored in the growing amounts of co2?
 
2013-02-02 02:14:56 PM  
Have they tried blasting him with Nancy Sinatra music yet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww

^Not Safe for Sanity^
 
2013-02-02 02:16:15 PM  
We'll find out how well he survives in PMITA prison.
 
2013-02-02 02:42:33 PM  

martid4: We'll find out how well he survives in PMITA prison.


I don't think he has any intention at all of coming out of there alive. The question is, will he take the boy with him?
 
2013-02-02 04:42:49 PM  

NutWrench: Witchydiva: Give him a contract with whatever terms he wants, have him sign it. Once he releases the kid, arrest him, point out that a contract signed under duress is invalid, and lock him up for the rest of his life.

This. Cover the contract with lots of official-looking seals and stamps, tell him he has immunity from prosecution, that he can found his very own Republic of Dave, whatever.


But a contract would create joinder between him and the government, infringing his sovereignty.  He won't fall for that old trick.
 
2013-02-02 05:26:44 PM  

offmymeds: Hunh...I just checked all the reputable news sources (even Fox News) and didn't see anything about this.

[i1136.photobucket.com image 309x400]


To be honest, i truly have no clue why this isn't getting coverage in the MSM.  It's like they have no interest in any of the variables of the case, even though several are kinda tempting to their usual standards.
 
2013-02-02 05:47:01 PM  

FriarReb98: offmymeds: Hunh...I just checked all the reputable news sources (even Fox News) and didn't see anything about this.

[i1136.photobucket.com image 309x400]

To be honest, i truly have no clue why this isn't getting coverage in the MSM.  It's like they have no interest in any of the variables of the case, even though several are kinda tempting to their usual standards.



Did the guy shoot the bus driver with an ASSAULT WEAPON?

No?

Well, there you are, then.
 
2013-02-02 06:33:57 PM  
Dude, you got your own show on TV right now so hand over the kid. Lets move up the timetable a bit and get to the point where you are surviving the beat-down you are going to get for kidnapping a child and being a dumbass.
 
2013-02-02 07:32:38 PM  
offmymeds: Hunh...I just checked all the reputable news sources (even Fox News) and didn't see anything about this.

This.

Why isn't every media outlet in the US all over this?  Why aren't Americans glued to their TV sets over this story like when Jessica McClure fell down that well in 1986?  Why isn't President Obama on TV crying about this kid and using this story as a catalyst for more gun control (because the perp clearly fits the stereotype of the the right-wing, survivalist gun nut).  Why aren't the NRA and the pro-gun folks using this as a rally cry (because if the 5-year old boy who was kidnapped was allowed to have a concealed carry license this might not have happened).

I found one article buried on CNN's website.  Same story with Fox News, although they put the story on their front page.  Nothing at all on Drudge Report.

According to all this extensive coverage, a bus driver was killed in this incident and this standoff has been going on for 5 days.  But I guess that's not as important as criticizing Obama's technique in that skeet shooting photo.
 
2013-02-02 08:41:06 PM  
He has a TV. I am hoping MSM is intentionally keeping it quietish to calm him the fark down. Actually I'm glad it's not splashed all over. This epic douche does not need the attention.
 
2013-02-02 09:59:11 PM  
They say that he has electricity and TV in there, so I don't want to post my idea to get him out of there.
 
2013-02-02 11:10:24 PM  

misterpriapus: offmymeds: Hunh...I just checked all the reputable news sources (even Fox News) and didn't see anything about this.

This.

Why isn't every media outlet in the US all over this?  Why aren't Americans glued to their TV sets over this story like when Jessica McClure fell down that well in 1986?  Why isn't President Obama on TV crying about this kid and using this story as a catalyst for more gun control (because the perp clearly fits the stereotype of the the right-wing, survivalist gun nut).  Why aren't the NRA and the pro-gun folks using this as a rally cry (because if the 5-year old boy who was kidnapped was allowed to have a concealed carry license this might not have happened).

I found one article buried on CNN's website.  Same story with Fox News, although they put the story on their front page.  Nothing at all on Drudge Report.

According to all this extensive coverage, a bus driver was killed in this incident and this standoff has been going on for 5 days.  But I guess that's not as important as criticizing Obama's technique in that skeet shootin


http://www.nbcnews.com/

http://www.foxnews.com/

http://www.cnn.com/

It's on CNNs front page, even on mobile and has been since Tuesday. Same with all the major outlets and regional as well. the reason YOU don't think its being reported is that it has not made the pundits circuit yet, and yes, that is intentional. There is a long standing practice of hanging fire on kidnappings/negotiations until a resolution is reached. Its why Daniel Pearl or that other headless white guy didn't blow up in the news until after they were dead. The fact that they were captured was widely known, reported in the most cimcumspect way possible and only exploited after the resolution, becuase "the media" knows exactly what a kidnapper or terroist wants: attention-- and they don't give that away for free when someone's life is on the line.

"The media" is well aware of how the echo chamber operates and they do their best to be responsible around incidents like this. Yes, even Rush, Hannity, et al. They're all in on it together. Its usually a short sharp trip to irrelevancy-land to break this commandment.
 
2013-02-03 06:16:18 AM  

willfullyobscure: misterpriapus: offmymeds: Hunh...I just checked all the reputable news sources (even Fox News) and didn't see anything about this.

This.

Why isn't every media outlet in the US all over this?  Why aren't Americans glued to their TV sets over this story like when Jessica McClure fell down that well in 1986?  Why isn't President Obama on TV crying about this kid and using this story as a catalyst for more gun control (because the perp clearly fits the stereotype of the the right-wing, survivalist gun nut).  Why aren't the NRA and the pro-gun folks using this as a rally cry (because if the 5-year old boy who was kidnapped was allowed to have a concealed carry license this might not have happened).

I found one article buried on CNN's website.  Same story with Fox News, although they put the story on their front page.  Nothing at all on Drudge Report.

According to all this extensive coverage, a bus driver was killed in this incident and this standoff has been going on for 5 days.  But I guess that's not as important as criticizing Obama's technique in that skeet shootin

http://www.nbcnews.com/

http://www.foxnews.com/

http://www.cnn.com/

It's on CNNs front page, even on mobile and has been since Tuesday. Same with all the major outlets and regional as well. the reason YOU don't think its being reported is that it has not made the pundits circuit yet, and yes, that is intentional. There is a long standing practice of hanging fire on kidnappings/negotiations until a resolution is reached. Its why Daniel Pearl or that other headless white guy didn't blow up in the news until after they were dead. The fact that they were captured was widely known, reported in the most cimcumspect way possible and only exploited after the resolution, becuase "the media" knows exactly what a kidnapper or terroist wants: attention-- and they don't give that away for free when someone's life is on the line.

"The media" is well aware of how the echo chamber operates and they do their best ...


I was referring to the "wants his own reality show" bit. The article claimed that he's asking for a cameraman to go down into the bunker so that he can give "his side of the story", presumably to present his psychotic world-view.
 
2013-02-03 09:14:53 AM  

offmymeds: willfullyobscure: misterpriapus: offmymeds: Hunh...I just checked all the reputable news sources (even Fox News) and didn't see anything about this.

This.

Why isn't every media outlet in the US all over this?  Why aren't Americans glued to their TV sets over this story like when Jessica McClure fell down that well in 1986?  Why isn't President Obama on TV crying about this kid and using this story as a catalyst for more gun control (because the perp clearly fits the stereotype of the the right-wing, survivalist gun nut).  Why aren't the NRA and the pro-gun folks using this as a rally cry (because if the 5-year old boy who was kidnapped was allowed to have a concealed carry license this might not have happened).

I found one article buried on CNN's website.  Same story with Fox News, although they put the story on their front page.  Nothing at all on Drudge Report.

According to all this extensive coverage, a bus driver was killed in this incident and this standoff has been going on for 5 days.  But I guess that's not as important as criticizing Obama's technique in that skeet shootin

http://www.nbcnews.com/

http://www.foxnews.com/

http://www.cnn.com/

It's on CNNs front page, even on mobile and has been since Tuesday. Same with all the major outlets and regional as well. the reason YOU don't think its being reported is that it has not made the pundits circuit yet, and yes, that is intentional. There is a long standing practice of hanging fire on kidnappings/negotiations until a resolution is reached. Its why Daniel Pearl or that other headless white guy didn't blow up in the news until after they were dead. The fact that they were captured was widely known, reported in the most cimcumspect way possible and only exploited after the resolution, becuase "the media" knows exactly what a kidnapper or terroist wants: attention-- and they don't give that away for free when someone's life is on the line.

"The media" is well aware of how the echo chamber operates and t ...


Oh. Well, that's b/c its an unsourced, unconfirmed rumour only in one publication. protocol is that if you didn't get the scoop, you don't repeat it until there's a confirmation from another reputable source, the source becomes known or similar. The linked item is a blind article, basically, and one of the constellation of reasons we call it "the Daily Fail". tabloid journalism at its finest.
 
2013-02-04 10:16:30 AM  
If they can communicate with this piece of shiat though a pipe, why haven't they pumped a nerve gas through the pipe to knock out everyone inside, then just raid the place, rescue the kid, and kill the idiot?
 
2013-02-05 10:01:41 PM  
I'm guessing no ones keeping up with this thread, but now that everything is over and the kid seems to have made it out okay does it bother anyone else the way this was handled?  Apparently, they could of done what they did on day one of the stare down, even hour one of day one.  The only reason the finally decided to act, on day 8, was because negotiation talk was breaking down and they thought this crazy guy was becoming even more unhinged.  Never mind what may of been happening to the poor kid during those 8 days.
 
Displayed 134 of 134 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report