FARK.com: (7570479) Eight brilliant true stories about Bill Murray

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		Eight brilliant true stories about Bill Murray (telegraph.co.uk)		49
		More: Hero, Hyde Park, Coens, Sofia Coppola, St Andrews, Raising Arizona, Wu Tang Clan, long pauses, Patrick Swayze

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16686 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 02 Feb 2013 at 12:33 AM | Favorite | share:

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SilentStrider		2013-02-01 11:57:44 PM

Not included: that he's my father.

fusillade762		2013-02-02 12:02:45 AM

Just in time for Groundhog Day!

GreenAdder		2013-02-02 12:30:32 AM

Bill Murray was arrested in 1971 at O'Hare airport with nine pounds of marijuana. It appears Belushi had instructed, "only nine pounds this weekend, Bill. I'm trying to cut back."

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener		2013-02-02 12:49:24 AM

fusillade762: Just in time for Groundhog Day!

I expect to see this article posted to the Entertainment tab no fewer than seven times.

Sim Tree		2013-02-02 12:52:32 AM

It's groundhog day ... again.

No Line For Beer		2013-02-02 12:52:46 AM

I'll never believe any of them.

rickythepenguin		2013-02-02 12:54:05 AM

#9: his niece was in my Homer / Iliad class in college.

/no, really
//same surname, she wrote for the school paper
///professor pointed it out one day in class. "balh blah blah, but that's like 'ghostbusters'." (or maybe he said caddyshack). and then he's like, "for those that dont' get my joke, Bill Murray is her uncle." and she does that embarassed, roll your eyes, awkward smile, "was that necessary?" kind of body language but yeah, there was a resemblance.

Phoenix_M		2013-02-02 01:10:37 AM

We were eating at Flippers in San Francisco a few years back when Murray walks in with Dana Carvey & noticed we recognized them Murray walks over picks up my friends burger takes a bite and with his mouth full says nobody is ever going to believe you then walks back to his table.

HotWingAgenda		2013-02-02 01:12:01 AM

(Audio enhancement has since indicated that the line is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MV7Sym8bIQ&feature=player_embedded">"I have to be leaving, but I won't let that come between us, OK?")

That's incredibly lame. I want to see all the outtakes where he leans in and whispers something filthy that makes her crack up.

RoyHobbs22		2013-02-02 01:14:57 AM

HotWingAgenda: (Audio enhancement has since indicated that the line is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MV7Sym8bIQ&feature=player_embedded">"I have to be leaving, but I won't let that come between us, OK?")

That's incredibly lame. I want to see all the outtakes where he leans in and whispers something filthy that makes her crack up.

something like "you have great titts and I want to plow you a new vagina"?

Triumph		2013-02-02 01:21:12 AM

8. The deaf assistant
During the production of Groundhog Day, Murray was going through his first divorce, even crankier than usual, and prone to disappearing for hours at a time. To ease 'communication' between the star, director Harold Ramis and the studio, Murray was asked to hire a personal assistant. His solution was to employ an assistant who was profoundly deaf and spoke only in sign language, which nobody else on set - including Murray - could speak. As Ramis told : "Bill said, 'Don't worry, I'm going to learn sign language.'

Ok, that's funny, but I hope the deaf guy was in on the joke from the beginning.

HotWingAgenda		2013-02-02 01:28:05 AM

Triumph: 8. The deaf assistant
During the production of Groundhog Day, Murray was going through his first divorce, even crankier than usual, and prone to disappearing for hours at a time. To ease 'communication' between the star, director Harold Ramis and the studio, Murray was asked to hire a personal assistant. His solution was to employ an assistant who was profoundly deaf and spoke only in sign language, which nobody else on set - including Murray - could speak. As Ramis told : "Bill said, 'Don't worry, I'm going to learn sign language.'

Ok, that's funny, but I hope the deaf guy was in on the joke from the beginning.

It's OK, they only laughed when his back was turned.

TheLopper		2013-02-02 01:31:38 AM

He took my eye out in a bar fight.

/no one ever believes me

HotWingAgenda		2013-02-02 01:40:17 AM

Bill Murray once traveled back in time to give a king in North Korea a unicorn to ride as his steed. Just before jumping on his time machine to return to the present, Bill Murray turned back to the king and whispered, "No one will ever believe you."

Now That's What I Call a Taco!		2013-02-02 01:57:35 AM

That story about assholes in Brooklyn is further proof that we must nuke Brooklyn from orbit. What kind of mindset do you have to have to think, "you know what would be a good idea? Telling Bill Murray, who was nice enough to come to this party, about everything wrong he's doing with his life."

MagSeven		2013-02-02 02:03:43 AM

Wow. Not a lot of Murray love in the comments in the article.
/fark those guys.

ThatBillmanGuy		2013-02-02 02:07:16 AM

That's it. From now on, I'm totally believing any story about Bill Murray that I hear.

titwrench		2013-02-02 02:39:04 AM

We used to meet every Thursday morning at 5:30 am and exchange Doritos for golf tips

/True story, Pauma Valley Country Club.

fusillade762		2013-02-02 02:45:17 AM

ThatBillmanGuy: That's it. From now on, I'm totally believing any story about Bill Murray that I hear.

I don't believe you.

fatalvenom		2013-02-02 03:01:27 AM

He told me once, after two shots of Jack, "son, you are probably the funniest person I've ever met. Just make sure that when you're done using her mouth as a urinal...flush by pulling her ears like a wishbone.".

gas giant		2013-02-02 05:06:57 AM

the stories with Murray and HST gallivanting around Aspen in drunken, drugged haze are the best.
/Met Mr Murray once at the Glendale, CA car show in early '03. Nice guy, very personable.

ModernLuddite		2013-02-02 05:44:34 AM

"They stiffed me!"

Smashed Hat		2013-02-02 05:47:35 AM

Phoenix_M: We were eating at Flippers in San Francisco a few years back when Murray walks in with Dana Carvey & noticed we recognized them Murray walks over picks up my friends burger takes a bite and with his mouth full says nobody is ever going to believe you then walks back to his table.

It's funny because Bill Murray raped me in a dirty truck stop men's room and said the very same thing.

/Well, it's funny in retrospect, I suppose.

Garko		2013-02-02 06:52:25 AM

Bill Murray turned me into a newt!

illannoyin		2013-02-02 07:08:42 AM

Conspicuously missing from the list...

fizmarble.com

His service in the Russian army during WW I

Pants full of macaroni!!		2013-02-02 07:25:56 AM

fusillade762: Just in time for Groundhog Day!

www.qwantz.com

/unlike T-Rex, I have seen it
//but only twice
///which means I might as well have not seen it

Snatch Bandergrip		2013-02-02 08:44:10 AM

Glazer is married to the actress Kelly Lynch

The lesbian from Top Gun?

Kyosuke		2013-02-02 08:48:24 AM

Incorrigible Astronaut		2013-02-02 08:55:16 AM

funktilious_j		2013-02-02 09:21:08 AM

Snatch Bandergrip: Glazer is married to the actress Kelly Lynch

The lesbian from Top Gun?

no, that's Tom Cruise.

Kyosuke		2013-02-02 09:52:29 AM

funktilious_j: Snatch Bandergrip: Glazer is married to the actress Kelly Lynch

The lesbian from Top Gun?

no, that's Tom Cruise.

Can't be. That would imply that he likes vaginas.

RoLleRKoaSTeR		2013-02-02 10:03:33 AM

Well, the Army's Human Resource Center of Excellence at Fort Knox may be memorialized for a general killed on 9-11, but the "unofficial" name is the "William James Murray" building.

Yes the site is where "Stripes" was filmed.

NewportBarGuy		2013-02-02 10:28:30 AM

When he was in Newport shooting Moonrise Kingdom, he went out a lot and bought people drinks. He'd follow it by saying "You can tell people Bill Murray bought you a drink, but they'll never believe you."

Guy really knows how to enjoy life.

NewportBarGuy		2013-02-02 10:29:22 AM

RoLleRKoaSTeR: Well, the Army's Human Resource Center of Excellence at Fort Knox may be memorialized for a general killed on 9-11, but the "unofficial" name is the "William James Murray" building.

Yes the site is where "Stripes" was filmed.

Heh... They still use that obstacle course for basic training. It was awesome.

buntz		2013-02-02 10:31:34 AM

Betty White, Bill Murray & Bacon

Kyosuke		2013-02-02 10:42:17 AM

buntz: Betty White, Bill Murray & Bacon

The Killer Bs

jmr61		2013-02-02 10:56:14 AM

He is truly our greatest acting treasure.

24.media.tumblr.com

Ooba Tooba		2013-02-02 11:29:36 AM

Also met Mr Murray at a car show. Gas city Indiana '07. A rodder was having trouble getting his '68 Charger started. Murray popped the hood, fiddled around a bit, and told the guy to start it. It fired right up, and the guy got out to see what Bill did. Mr Murray just pointed to the carburetor and said ""there's your problem, buddy, you didn't have one of these." In the spot he was pointing to was the bowtie Mr Murray removed from his own neck. Chevy guy, Bill.

Kyosuke		2013-02-02 11:35:08 AM

Ooba Tooba: Also met Mr Murray at a car show. Gas city Indiana '07. A rodder was having trouble getting his '68 Charger started. Murray popped the hood, fiddled around a bit, and told the guy to start it. It fired right up, and the guy got out to see what Bill did. Mr Murray just pointed to the carburetor and said ""there's your problem, buddy, you didn't have one of these." In the spot he was pointing to was the bowtie Mr Murray removed from his own neck. Chevy guy, Bill.

I'll never believe you.

Thank You Black Jesus!		2013-02-02 11:53:02 AM

He and my brother-in-law stole a golf cart.

/csb

Nickster79		2013-02-02 11:54:07 AM

Bill Murray used to show up to my middle school band concerts.

/not kidding
//his kid played clarinet in my band

The Bunyip		2013-02-02 12:14:54 PM

He played at a golf course my buddy used to work for in South Jersey back in 2006. Posed for a picture then hopped on a golf cart to continue his game. As a fan of Caddyshack, it was like the holy grail just randomly seeing him there and being able to take a photo.

/Saw the picture so I believe it
//csb

soupbone		2013-02-02 12:23:21 PM

We used to meet every Thursday morning at 5:30 am and exchange stories about fark.com, Kelly Clarkson heeling it down the drain, and golf tips

He and my brother-in-law stole a golf cart and a pair of walmark rascals.

/True story, Pauma Valley Country Club.

AcesFull		2013-02-02 12:38:58 PM

Garko: Bill Murray turned me into a newt!

Well,I got better..

Dumb-Ass-Monkey		2013-02-02 01:20:44 PM

the Road House story is one of my favorite anythings ever.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener		2013-02-02 01:30:46 PM

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: the Road House story is one of my favorite anythings ever.

As well it should be.

*nods proudly*

AcesFull		2013-02-02 01:36:21 PM

accomplished the difficult Mother/daughter 3some...Lisa and Mrs Loopner.

douchebag/hater		2013-02-02 05:06:43 PM

Just when I think I'm getting sick of Murray's 'enigma' I read something like this.

Sorta like Springsteen when he would go record shopping in Madison before a concert. This was before he believed his own PR.

Still marvel at Dylan getting talked to by the police a few years back for walking around a neighborhood the afternoon before a show; an older woman thought he looked suspecious(sp) and called the cops.
Dylan didn't have any ID and the (young) cops didn't recognize him so they drove him back to concert hall where someone vouched for him.

therecksays		2013-02-03 12:04:41 AM

Kyosuke: funktilious_j: Snatch Bandergrip: Glazer is married to the actress Kelly Lynch

The lesbian from Top Gun?

no, that's Tom Cruise.

Can't be. That would imply that he likes vaginas.

I thought the lesbian in Top Gun was Kelly Preston

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