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(The Smoking Gun)   "I was trying to make the horse have a baby"   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 56
    More: Asinine, public lewdness, waive  
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15397 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 5:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-01 03:17:26 PM
50 votes:
I think he's a bit off centaur
2013-02-01 05:21:14 PM
8 votes:
Neigh means neigh!
2013-02-01 03:10:29 PM
7 votes:
Another Brony caught in the act.
fanboynation.com
2013-02-01 06:07:03 PM
5 votes:
So, he was trying to make a Whopper Jr.?
2013-02-01 05:23:37 PM
5 votes:
Better excuse:

"Oh crap, I thought I was farking Sarah Jessica Parker!"
2013-02-01 09:34:59 PM
3 votes:
Turns out he really did get the horse pregnant.  The offspring:

www.thegauntlet.com
xcv
2013-02-01 06:58:43 PM
3 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


Not quite stable?
2013-02-01 06:46:43 PM
3 votes:
What they're not telling you is that the horse DID have a horseman baby. His plan worked. Now Horseman Baby gallops free across the judging plains. But will Horseman Baby ever really be free? I say nay, and so does he.
Ride on, Horseman Baby! Ride on throughout the Internet, and never, ever look back at how you were created, lest ye too wind up hanging from the paddock.
2013-02-01 05:28:55 PM
3 votes:
seen fleeing from the scene

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-02-01 07:32:06 PM
2 votes:
blondesearch.ru

/Dad?
2013-02-01 06:28:34 PM
2 votes:
di1-2.shoppingshadow.com

Before my wife and I had our daughter, I bought her this stuffed horse toy and we would jokingly pretend it was our half-human/half-horse offspring. It would frequently announce (through one of us) that it was going to be the first horse-American president (yes, it was around the time Obama won his first term).

...So I got a kick out of the, "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby," line.
2013-02-01 06:18:38 PM
2 votes:
That's NOT what animal husbandry means!
2013-02-01 06:11:22 PM
2 votes:
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.

I guess he also tried to fark a kid.

www.tanwater.com
2013-02-01 05:42:05 PM
2 votes:
i1182.photobucket.com
2013-02-01 05:39:59 PM
2 votes:
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail,

I wonder if he hung like a horse.


Oh and I love having a reason to post my favorite song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8
2013-02-01 05:34:25 PM
2 votes:
i173.photobucket.com
Unavailable for comment
2013-02-01 05:28:41 PM
2 votes:
ohnevermind
2013-02-01 03:07:41 PM
2 votes:
Mendoza, who had been waiting to hear from his girlfriend, noted that, "I told myself that if she didn't call me I was going to go next door and mess with the neighbor's horse."

Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby."


Moron. What the horseman has his face, what does he think the neighbors will do?
2013-02-02 01:12:38 AM
1 votes:

BronyMedic: Dragonflew: Because People in power are Stupid: Another Brony caught in the act.

I am just as creeped out by Bronies as I am by this guy.

I don't know. I've seen your internet history. Brazilian Transvestite Fart porn and three hundred instances of the word "Mandingo Party bukkake" doesn't make you morally superior.


Maybe not, but at least I'm creepy in a grown-up way. :)
2013-02-01 11:23:15 PM
1 votes:
imgc.artprintimages.com

Its been done
2013-02-01 10:55:01 PM
1 votes:
Somebody bedded the bay.
2013-02-01 09:44:04 PM
1 votes:

L.D. Ablo: Turns out he really did get the horse pregnant.  The offspring:

[www.thegauntlet.com image 650x488]


The look on the little kid's face at the right edge of the photo is hilarious.
2013-02-01 09:21:00 PM
1 votes:
WordsnCollision:

/Dad?

Whoa. Thanks for making me feel old with that reminder of crappy childhood cartoons.
2013-02-01 08:47:41 PM
1 votes:

Dragonflew: Because People in power are Stupid: Another Brony caught in the act.

I am just as creeped out by Bronies as I am by this guy.


I don't know. I've seen your internet history. Brazilian Transvestite Fart porn and three hundred instances of the word "Mandingo Party bukkake" doesn't make you morally superior.
2013-02-01 08:22:58 PM
1 votes:
I wish I could find it on Utube but the Warner Brother cartoon Histaria! did a bit on Catherine The Great talking about whathappened in History. Ill never forget it
Announcer: In the late 1700'sCatherine the GreatRuled Russia!
Happy horse next to her: Ill say!
My jaw was on the ground that they put that joke in a kids cartoon
2013-02-01 08:17:36 PM
1 votes:
I was so hoping that the mare's jealous boyfriend stallion would have mounted the dude in retaliation.
That's how the guys do it where I'm not from.
2013-02-01 08:09:03 PM
1 votes:
hystoricus.files.wordpress.com
Been there done that
2013-02-01 07:42:18 PM
1 votes:

swingerofbirches: I wonder if there is a country where this story wouldn't be funny and would be seen as a tragic indictment of society's failure to care for the safety and wellbeing of people with mental disorders. Somewhere where the story might be reported with some gravitas and people like say something like it's tragic, rather than it being reported on local news stations as the horse buggerer, or whatever it is that I'm sure they're saying.

Someone in this thread even said it was a bonus that a pedophile killed himself. That's a horrible sentiment, first. Second, if he were a pedophile (which I highly doubt he was), that is a mental illness that should be treated. Since when is it acceptable to applaud mentally ill people for killing themselves? Third, it sounds like had something amiss (having sex with a woman, a horse, and indecency with a child makes it sound as if something neurologically is off). It's society's responsibility to keep someone with an issue like that safe from himself and from others.

We didn't do either. This is an embarrassment to everyone and in cases where a person is ill, it's least an embarrassment to the ill indivdual himself, IMO.

I know this is Fark, and I would have found this story funny if the guy were just drunk or something and only had been trying to have sex with a horse, but the fact that he also molested a child and killed himself makes the story sobering.


Truly this is a tragic case of someone typing a wall of text instead of reading the article.
2013-02-01 07:41:07 PM
1 votes:
Did they sell the horse to Burger King?
2013-02-01 06:58:20 PM
1 votes:
"I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse. I then got off the bucket and put my clothes back on and left. "

Who says romance is dead?
2013-02-01 06:53:56 PM
1 votes:

clowncar on fire: JonPace: This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.

Self immolation would have really rounded this tale off though.


No, him dying by escaping, trying to have sex with another horse, spooking said horse, and being dragged by his genitaila throughout the countryside by a violated horse would have completely rounded off this story.
It would be... The Stupidity Nirvana.
2013-02-01 06:51:39 PM
1 votes:
Well, considering what his mom did with that donkey in Tijuana, he probably assumed thats how he came to exist.
2013-02-01 06:50:17 PM
1 votes:

Bit'O'Gristle: "I was trying to make the horse have a baby," Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby." He added, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse. I then got off the bucket and put my clothes back on and left. I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time."

/This, beyond a doubt, is the stupidest statement I've ever had the misfortune of hearing someone say. Even worse than the "rape rape" comment. God, just deport him to some shiat third world country and let him spread his stupidity there.


Well he's dead so deporting him would be a little futile.
2013-02-01 06:41:15 PM
1 votes:

xen0blue: Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???


If it's some kind of genetically engineered sapient super-horse who can understand and consent to sexual relations with a member of another species then sure.

But I'm going to take a wild guess that this was a regular kind of horse, which is varelse, and so no communication is possible and thus no consent or comprehension of the ramifications of such relations. Pretty much the equivalent of raping someone in a coma.

I'm also going to go one further and take a wild guess that even so, that horse is probably still smarter than someone who would make the kind of spurious argument you just tried to make.
2013-02-01 06:14:25 PM
1 votes:
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.

i275.photobucket.com
2013-02-01 06:12:08 PM
1 votes:
"Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail"

ytrewq.com
2013-02-01 06:04:10 PM
1 votes:

p the boiler: RevMark: FTA: "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."

That's the best thing I've seen all week. That and MaudlinMutantMollusk's centaur quip. I'm crying over here.

Based on the wit in his quote and his odd behavior I am going to bet he had been to Fark before he offed himself - since he is now dead can an admin tell us his screen name? I have a few guesses


An alt of fb- ?

He always wanted to be the father
2013-02-01 06:02:48 PM
1 votes:

jst3p: Gave that mare some

[www.businessweek.com image 189x341]


That'll go great with my cereal.

i.imgur.com
2013-02-01 05:58:38 PM
1 votes:
And really, who hasn't thought of screwing your neighbors pet when you get stood up, amirite guys?
2013-02-01 05:47:47 PM
1 votes:

RevMark: FTA: "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."

That's the best thing I've seen all week. That and MaudlinMutantMollusk's centaur quip. I'm crying over here.


Based on the wit in his quote and his odd behavior I am going to bet he had been to Fark before he offed himself - since he is now dead can an admin tell us his screen name? I have a few guesses
2013-02-01 05:45:12 PM
1 votes:

St_Francis_P: Mendoza, who had been waiting to hear from his girlfriend, noted that, "I told myself that if she didn't call me I was going to go next door and mess with the neighbor's horse."

Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby."

Moron. What the horseman has his face, what does he think the neighbors will do?


The facts of his life could be replaced by the facts in the life of horseyface
2013-02-01 05:37:40 PM
1 votes:
www.cannibalthemusical.net


Is not amused
2013-02-01 05:35:56 PM
1 votes:
Was he able to pony up the bail money?
2013-02-01 05:35:25 PM
1 votes:
FTA: "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."

That's the best thing I've seen all week. That and MaudlinMutantMollusk's centaur quip. I'm crying over here.
2013-02-01 05:35:09 PM
1 votes:
This is sort of like the story of the labyrinth except instead of using the string to get out he hangs himself.
2013-02-01 05:31:47 PM
1 votes:
i877.photobucket.com
Heeh, I blew a nut!
2013-02-01 05:30:11 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


This is the sort of crap I come here for. Brilliant.
2013-02-01 05:29:47 PM
1 votes:

jst3p: Better excuse:

"Oh crap, I thought I was farking Sarah Jessica Parker!"


Since you beat me to it, I'll post the pic.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
2013-02-01 05:29:21 PM
1 votes:
In prison, are horse farkers higher or lower than child molesters?
2013-02-01 05:27:26 PM
1 votes:
What a beautiful way to say how much I love you.
2013-02-01 05:26:48 PM
1 votes:
This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.
2013-02-01 05:26:18 PM
1 votes:
How is horseman babby formed?
2013-02-01 05:25:35 PM
1 votes:

Tsar_Bomba1: Neigh means neigh!


I had already finished typing and I looked up, and you beat me to it.

+1
2013-02-01 05:24:48 PM
1 votes:
And somehow it never occurred to him that in spite of his well-considered plan, there are no centaurs to be seen in this world. That should've been a clue.
2013-02-01 05:24:30 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


Okay. I chortled.
2013-02-01 03:57:29 PM
1 votes:

Nabb1: Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.
Hard to believe that guy had other issues.


Yeah, do you know what they do to child rapists/bronies in prison? Let's just say that any death under watch of armed guards is suspicious.
 
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