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(The Smoking Gun)   "I was trying to make the horse have a baby"   (thesmokinggun.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, public lewdness, waive  
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15457 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 5:20 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-01 03:17:26 PM  
6 votes:
I think he's a bit off centaur
2013-02-01 07:09:00 PM  
4 votes:
I wonder if there is a country where this story wouldn't be funny and would be seen as a tragic indictment of society's failure to care for the safety and wellbeing of people with mental disorders. Somewhere where the story might be reported with some gravitas and people like say something like it's tragic, rather than it being reported on local news stations as the horse buggerer, or whatever it is that I'm sure they're saying.

Someone in this thread even said it was a bonus that a pedophile killed himself. That's a horrible sentiment, first. Second, if he were a pedophile (which I highly doubt he was), that is a mental illness that should be treated. Since when is it acceptable to applaud mentally ill people for killing themselves? Third, it sounds like had something amiss (having sex with a woman, a horse, and indecency with a child makes it sound as if something neurologically is off). It's society's responsibility to keep someone with an issue like that safe from himself and from others.

We didn't do either. This is an embarrassment to everyone and in cases where a person is ill, it's least an embarrassment to the ill indivdual himself, IMO.

I know this is Fark, and I would have found this story funny if the guy were just drunk or something and only had been trying to have sex with a horse, but the fact that he also molested a child and killed himself makes the story sobering.
2013-02-01 06:41:15 PM  
4 votes:

xen0blue: Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???


If it's some kind of genetically engineered sapient super-horse who can understand and consent to sexual relations with a member of another species then sure.

But I'm going to take a wild guess that this was a regular kind of horse, which is varelse, and so no communication is possible and thus no consent or comprehension of the ramifications of such relations. Pretty much the equivalent of raping someone in a coma.

I'm also going to go one further and take a wild guess that even so, that horse is probably still smarter than someone who would make the kind of spurious argument you just tried to make.
2013-02-01 05:23:37 PM  
4 votes:
Better excuse:

"Oh crap, I thought I was farking Sarah Jessica Parker!"
2013-02-01 06:14:25 PM  
3 votes:
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.

i275.photobucket.com
2013-02-01 09:14:45 PM  
2 votes:

Deacon Blue: DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!

Seriously, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse." has got to be one of the best perp statements ever.  Ever.  And the real beauty of it is, with the magic of the internet this dipshiat will never be able to get away from this.


Being that he's dead, I think he already did.
2013-02-01 05:24:48 PM  
2 votes:
And somehow it never occurred to him that in spite of his well-considered plan, there are no centaurs to be seen in this world. That should've been a clue.
2013-02-01 03:17:02 PM  
2 votes:
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.
Hard to believe that guy had other issues.
2013-02-01 03:10:29 PM  
2 votes:
Another Brony caught in the act.
fanboynation.com
2013-02-02 04:43:23 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: Prophet?


The prophet says you're going to hell for farking a horse.
2013-02-01 09:44:04 PM  
1 vote:

L.D. Ablo: Turns out he really did get the horse pregnant.  The offspring:

[www.thegauntlet.com image 650x488]


The look on the little kid's face at the right edge of the photo is hilarious.
2013-02-01 07:23:16 PM  
1 vote:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


There is brilliant, and then there is this.  I bow to you, good sir.
2013-02-01 07:01:47 PM  
1 vote:

KangTheMad: mongbiohazard: xen0blue: Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???

If it's some kind of genetically engineered sapient super-horse who can understand and consent to sexual relations with a member of another species then sure.

But I'm going to take a wild guess that this was a regular kind of horse, which is varelse, and so no communication is possible and thus no consent or comprehension of the ramifications of such relations. Pretty much the equivalent of raping someone in a coma.

I'm also going to go one further and take a wild guess that even so, that horse is probably still smarter than someone who would make the kind of spurious argument you just tried to make.

I would argue that if a horse doesn't like what you're doing, you're going to get kicked in the face by a 1,400+ pound animal.


And you'd still be missing the obvious fact that the horse isn't capable of understanding what you're doing, let alone the ramifications. It's simply an animal which has been conditioned to be tolerant of human beings.

And that's before even peeling apart your misuse of the concept of not liking something. I don't like when my boss gives me extra work. That doesn't mean I kick her in the face, or even complain at all, when she does it - because I like to continue to have a job. My dog doesn't like it when I give him a bath... that doesn't mean he's going to attack me for doing it - I am his source of food so he tolerates it.
2013-02-01 06:58:14 PM  
1 vote:
Eh...I ain't going to cry for him on account of the rampant stupidity, but 'indecency with a child' sounds more like little Suzy walked in on him and her precious Princess CinnamonHoofs and is now going to grow up to cruise some reallllly weird chat sites.  Usually if it was actually anything more than there was a child somewhere within 100 feet of you committing some other crime they hit you with like 12 different levels of assault charges plus extra super special 'with a child' charges.
2013-02-01 06:43:59 PM  
1 vote:

mongbiohazard: xen0blue: Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???

If it's some kind of genetically engineered sapient super-horse who can understand and consent to sexual relations with a member of another species then sure.

But I'm going to take a wild guess that this was a regular kind of horse, which is varelse, and so no communication is possible and thus no consent or comprehension of the ramifications of such relations. Pretty much the equivalent of raping someone in a coma.

I'm also going to go one further and take a wild guess that even so, that horse is probably still smarter than someone who would make the kind of spurious argument you just tried to make.


I would argue that if a horse doesn't like what you're doing, you're going to get kicked in the face by a 1,400+ pound animal.
2013-02-01 06:43:59 PM  
1 vote:
Wait... which gender was the horse? Cause if it was male than this guy really doesn't know how babies are made.

/oh well, If he's released will he just get back in the saddle?
2013-02-01 06:25:28 PM  
1 vote:

p51d007: WOW!  Another Obuma voter!


I'm no fan of Herr Fartbongo but go threadshiat elsewhere
2013-02-01 06:20:03 PM  
1 vote:

JWideman: That's NOT what animal husbandry means!


O RLY?

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
/GIS for "animal husbandry"
2013-02-01 06:12:08 PM  
1 vote:
"Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail"

ytrewq.com
2013-02-01 06:07:59 PM  
1 vote:
This is how legends are born.
2013-02-01 06:07:03 PM  
1 vote:
So, he was trying to make a Whopper Jr.?
2013-02-01 05:58:38 PM  
1 vote:
And really, who hasn't thought of screwing your neighbors pet when you get stood up, amirite guys?
2013-02-01 05:45:11 PM  
1 vote:
Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby."

i.imgur.com
2013-02-01 05:42:05 PM  
1 vote:
i1182.photobucket.com
2013-02-01 05:39:59 PM  
1 vote:
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail,

I wonder if he hung like a horse.


Oh and I love having a reason to post my favorite song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8
2013-02-01 05:35:25 PM  
1 vote:
FTA: "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."

That's the best thing I've seen all week. That and MaudlinMutantMollusk's centaur quip. I'm crying over here.
2013-02-01 05:35:09 PM  
1 vote:
This is sort of like the story of the labyrinth except instead of using the string to get out he hangs himself.
2013-02-01 05:34:25 PM  
1 vote:
i173.photobucket.com
Unavailable for comment
2013-02-01 05:30:11 PM  
1 vote:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


This is the sort of crap I come here for. Brilliant.
2013-02-01 05:29:47 PM  
1 vote:

jst3p: Better excuse:

"Oh crap, I thought I was farking Sarah Jessica Parker!"


Since you beat me to it, I'll post the pic.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
2013-02-01 05:29:21 PM  
1 vote:
In prison, are horse farkers higher or lower than child molesters?
2013-02-01 05:28:55 PM  
1 vote:
I think this guy had part of his brain missing.
2013-02-01 05:28:55 PM  
1 vote:
seen fleeing from the scene

upload.wikimedia.org
2013-02-01 05:26:48 PM  
1 vote:
This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.
2013-02-01 05:21:14 PM  
1 vote:
Neigh means neigh!
 
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