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(The Smoking Gun)   "I was trying to make the horse have a baby"   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 134
    More: Asinine, public lewdness, waive  
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15401 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 5:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-01 03:07:41 PM
Mendoza, who had been waiting to hear from his girlfriend, noted that, "I told myself that if she didn't call me I was going to go next door and mess with the neighbor's horse."

Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby."


Moron. What the horseman has his face, what does he think the neighbors will do?
 
2013-02-01 03:10:29 PM
Another Brony caught in the act.
fanboynation.com
 
2013-02-01 03:17:02 PM
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.
Hard to believe that guy had other issues.
 
2013-02-01 03:17:26 PM
I think he's a bit off centaur
 
2013-02-01 03:57:29 PM

Nabb1: Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.
Hard to believe that guy had other issues.


Yeah, do you know what they do to child rapists/bronies in prison? Let's just say that any death under watch of armed guards is suspicious.
 
2013-02-01 05:21:07 PM
Faith based teaching.
 
2013-02-01 05:21:14 PM
Neigh means neigh!
 
2013-02-01 05:23:37 PM
Better excuse:

"Oh crap, I thought I was farking Sarah Jessica Parker!"
 
2013-02-01 05:24:10 PM
I think he's a bit off centaur
Niiice.
 
2013-02-01 05:24:30 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


Okay. I chortled.
 
2013-02-01 05:24:48 PM
And somehow it never occurred to him that in spite of his well-considered plan, there are no centaurs to be seen in this world. That should've been a clue.
 
2013-02-01 05:25:35 PM

Tsar_Bomba1: Neigh means neigh!


I had already finished typing and I looked up, and you beat me to it.

+1
 
2013-02-01 05:26:18 PM
How is horseman babby formed?
 
2013-02-01 05:26:40 PM
He blew a nut in the horse.  STILL ALIVE
 
2013-02-01 05:26:48 PM
This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.
 
2013-02-01 05:27:26 PM
What a beautiful way to say how much I love you.
 
2013-02-01 05:28:41 PM
ohnevermind
 
2013-02-01 05:28:55 PM
seen fleeing from the scene

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-01 05:28:55 PM
I think this guy had part of his brain missing.
 
2013-02-01 05:29:21 PM
In prison, are horse farkers higher or lower than child molesters?
 
2013-02-01 05:29:23 PM

Fluid: And somehow it never occurred to him that in spite of his well-considered plan, there are no centaurs to be seen in this world. That should've been a clue.



 
2013-02-01 05:29:47 PM

jst3p: Better excuse:

"Oh crap, I thought I was farking Sarah Jessica Parker!"


Since you beat me to it, I'll post the pic.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-01 05:30:11 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


This is the sort of crap I come here for. Brilliant.
 
2013-02-01 05:30:19 PM
 
2013-02-01 05:30:46 PM
So if I try to fark a horse with my penis and fail I go to jail, but if I successfully rape a horse with my hand I can get paid for doing this? Where's the justice man.
 
2013-02-01 05:31:47 PM
i877.photobucket.com
Heeh, I blew a nut!
 
2013-02-01 05:32:20 PM

JonPace: This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.


Indeed.  It's like this story was written for Fark.

+1, subby.
 
2013-02-01 05:32:40 PM

MrHappyRotter: He blew a nut in the horse.  STILL ALIVE


Actually....
 
2013-02-01 05:34:24 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Nabb1: Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.
Hard to believe that guy had other issues.

Yeah, do you know what they do to child rapists/bronies in prison? Let's just say that any death under watch of armed guards is suspicious.


Bronies deserve worse than anything a prison guard can dish out.
 
2013-02-01 05:34:25 PM
i173.photobucket.com
Unavailable for comment
 
2013-02-01 05:35:09 PM
This is sort of like the story of the labyrinth except instead of using the string to get out he hangs himself.
 
2013-02-01 05:35:25 PM
FTA: "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."

That's the best thing I've seen all week. That and MaudlinMutantMollusk's centaur quip. I'm crying over here.
 
2013-02-01 05:35:56 PM
Was he able to pony up the bail money?
 
2013-02-01 05:36:25 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Another Brony caught in the act.
[fanboynation.com image 850x637]


Living the dream!
 
2013-02-01 05:36:51 PM

ChubbyTiger: MrHappyRotter: He blew a nut in the horse.  STILL ALIVE

Actually....


MrHappyRotter: ohnevermind


Lack of reading comprehension and sense of humor is no way to go through life.
 
2013-02-01 05:37:40 PM
www.cannibalthemusical.net


Is not amused
 
2013-02-01 05:38:01 PM

Treygreen13: This is sort of like the story of the labyrinth except instead of using the string to get out he hangs himself.


He had to. The Minotaur had a man butt and that would be weird.
 
2013-02-01 05:38:35 PM
horsegag.avi      (obscure?)
 
2013-02-01 05:39:59 PM
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail,

I wonder if he hung like a horse.


Oh and I love having a reason to post my favorite song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8
 
2013-02-01 05:41:25 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com

MENDOZAAAA!1111
 
2013-02-01 05:42:05 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-01 05:45:11 PM
Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby."

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-01 05:45:12 PM

St_Francis_P: Mendoza, who had been waiting to hear from his girlfriend, noted that, "I told myself that if she didn't call me I was going to go next door and mess with the neighbor's horse."

Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby."

Moron. What the horseman has his face, what does he think the neighbors will do?


The facts of his life could be replaced by the facts in the life of horseyface
 
2013-02-01 05:47:47 PM

RevMark: FTA: "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."

That's the best thing I've seen all week. That and MaudlinMutantMollusk's centaur quip. I'm crying over here.


Based on the wit in his quote and his odd behavior I am going to bet he had been to Fark before he offed himself - since he is now dead can an admin tell us his screen name? I have a few guesses
 
2013-02-01 05:52:17 PM
THIS STATEMENT IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE

Jeez...The actual report was even funnier than the article. Just....DAMN.
 
2013-02-01 05:53:11 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Another Brony caught in the act.
[fanboynation.com image 850x637]


That was my first thought too....

I expected him to have a MLP shirt on.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2013-02-01 05:54:11 PM

Glancing Blow: Is not amused


Wilbur? He hardly even knew her!
 
2013-02-01 05:55:03 PM
Gave that mare some

www.businessweek.com
 
2013-02-01 05:57:35 PM
He thought it was a donkey and was trying to get a piece of ass.
 
2013-02-01 05:58:38 PM
And really, who hasn't thought of screwing your neighbors pet when you get stood up, amirite guys?
 
2013-02-01 05:58:42 PM

Rufus Lee King: [images.inmagine.com image 265x396]


Manchickenhorse?
 
2013-02-01 05:59:50 PM
According to Horseman, the horse just stood there and let him fark her. Guy must have been pretty small.
 
2013-02-01 06:02:48 PM

jst3p: Gave that mare some

[www.businessweek.com image 189x341]


That'll go great with my cereal.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-01 06:04:10 PM

p the boiler: RevMark: FTA: "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse."

That's the best thing I've seen all week. That and MaudlinMutantMollusk's centaur quip. I'm crying over here.

Based on the wit in his quote and his odd behavior I am going to bet he had been to Fark before he offed himself - since he is now dead can an admin tell us his screen name? I have a few guesses


An alt of fb- ?

He always wanted to be the father
 
2013-02-01 06:05:22 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


You win 10 shiny new Internets!
 
2013-02-01 06:07:03 PM
So, he was trying to make a Whopper Jr.?
 
2013-02-01 06:07:59 PM
This is how legends are born.
 
2013-02-01 06:11:10 PM
i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-02-01 06:11:22 PM
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.

I guess he also tried to fark a kid.

www.tanwater.com
 
2013-02-01 06:12:08 PM
"Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail"

ytrewq.com
 
2013-02-01 06:12:26 PM
So he wanted to make a centaur.  How cute.
 
2013-02-01 06:14:25 PM
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.

i275.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-01 06:17:11 PM
WOW!  Another Obuma voter!
 
2013-02-01 06:18:38 PM
That's NOT what animal husbandry means!
 
2013-02-01 06:19:39 PM
"I was trying to make the horse have a baby," Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby." He added, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse. I then got off the bucket and put my clothes back on and left. I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time."

/This, beyond a doubt, is the stupidest statement I've ever had the misfortune of hearing someone say. Even worse than the "rape rape" comment. God, just deport him to some shiat third world country and let him spread his stupidity there.
 
2013-02-01 06:20:03 PM

JWideman: That's NOT what animal husbandry means!


O RLY?

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
/GIS for "animal husbandry"
 
2013-02-01 06:25:28 PM

p51d007: WOW!  Another Obuma voter!


I'm no fan of Herr Fartbongo but go threadshiat elsewhere
 
2013-02-01 06:28:05 PM
You can never have enough horse stories here on FARK.
 
2013-02-01 06:28:21 PM
Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???
 
2013-02-01 06:28:34 PM
di1-2.shoppingshadow.com

Before my wife and I had our daughter, I bought her this stuffed horse toy and we would jokingly pretend it was our half-human/half-horse offspring. It would frequently announce (through one of us) that it was going to be the first horse-American president (yes, it was around the time Obama won his first term).

...So I got a kick out of the, "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby," line.
 
2013-02-01 06:36:09 PM

JonPace: This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.


Self immolation would have really rounded this tale off though.
 
2013-02-01 06:41:15 PM

xen0blue: Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???


If it's some kind of genetically engineered sapient super-horse who can understand and consent to sexual relations with a member of another species then sure.

But I'm going to take a wild guess that this was a regular kind of horse, which is varelse, and so no communication is possible and thus no consent or comprehension of the ramifications of such relations. Pretty much the equivalent of raping someone in a coma.

I'm also going to go one further and take a wild guess that even so, that horse is probably still smarter than someone who would make the kind of spurious argument you just tried to make.
 
2013-02-01 06:41:18 PM

SlagginOff: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur

Okay. I chortled.


i threw up
 
2013-02-01 06:43:59 PM
Wait... which gender was the horse? Cause if it was male than this guy really doesn't know how babies are made.

/oh well, If he's released will he just get back in the saddle?
 
2013-02-01 06:43:59 PM

mongbiohazard: xen0blue: Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???

If it's some kind of genetically engineered sapient super-horse who can understand and consent to sexual relations with a member of another species then sure.

But I'm going to take a wild guess that this was a regular kind of horse, which is varelse, and so no communication is possible and thus no consent or comprehension of the ramifications of such relations. Pretty much the equivalent of raping someone in a coma.

I'm also going to go one further and take a wild guess that even so, that horse is probably still smarter than someone who would make the kind of spurious argument you just tried to make.


I would argue that if a horse doesn't like what you're doing, you're going to get kicked in the face by a 1,400+ pound animal.
 
2013-02-01 06:46:43 PM
What they're not telling you is that the horse DID have a horseman baby. His plan worked. Now Horseman Baby gallops free across the judging plains. But will Horseman Baby ever really be free? I say nay, and so does he.
Ride on, Horseman Baby! Ride on throughout the Internet, and never, ever look back at how you were created, lest ye too wind up hanging from the paddock.
 
2013-02-01 06:50:17 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: "I was trying to make the horse have a baby," Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby." He added, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse. I then got off the bucket and put my clothes back on and left. I promise that I have not been back over to the horse since that time."

/This, beyond a doubt, is the stupidest statement I've ever had the misfortune of hearing someone say. Even worse than the "rape rape" comment. God, just deport him to some shiat third world country and let him spread his stupidity there.


Well he's dead so deporting him would be a little futile.
 
2013-02-01 06:51:39 PM
Well, considering what his mom did with that donkey in Tijuana, he probably assumed thats how he came to exist.
 
2013-02-01 06:53:56 PM

clowncar on fire: JonPace: This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.

Self immolation would have really rounded this tale off though.


No, him dying by escaping, trying to have sex with another horse, spooking said horse, and being dragged by his genitaila throughout the countryside by a violated horse would have completely rounded off this story.
It would be... The Stupidity Nirvana.
 
2013-02-01 06:54:04 PM
Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail, where he was being held on indecency with a child and trespassing charges.

So he was hung like a horse?
 
2013-02-01 06:57:47 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: JWideman: That's NOT what animal husbandry means!

O RLY?

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x340]
/GIS for "animal husbandry"


What I want to know is who first got the idea to jack off a farm animal, collect the sperm and then shove it into another farm animal,

If I were trying to breed animals I don't think I would ever think of that.

I knew they did that with cows.  I shouldn't be surprised they do it with horses.  Now I'm wondering what other animals get that treatment.
 
2013-02-01 06:58:14 PM
Eh...I ain't going to cry for him on account of the rampant stupidity, but 'indecency with a child' sounds more like little Suzy walked in on him and her precious Princess CinnamonHoofs and is now going to grow up to cruise some reallllly weird chat sites.  Usually if it was actually anything more than there was a child somewhere within 100 feet of you committing some other crime they hit you with like 12 different levels of assault charges plus extra super special 'with a child' charges.
 
2013-02-01 06:58:20 PM
"I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse. I then got off the bucket and put my clothes back on and left. "

Who says romance is dead?
 
xcv
2013-02-01 06:58:43 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


Not quite stable?
 
2013-02-01 07:01:47 PM

KangTheMad: mongbiohazard: xen0blue: Hey, it's his sexual preference. He should be able to sleep with whoever/whatever he wants. Keep out of his bedroom.

RIGHT GUYS???

If it's some kind of genetically engineered sapient super-horse who can understand and consent to sexual relations with a member of another species then sure.

But I'm going to take a wild guess that this was a regular kind of horse, which is varelse, and so no communication is possible and thus no consent or comprehension of the ramifications of such relations. Pretty much the equivalent of raping someone in a coma.

I'm also going to go one further and take a wild guess that even so, that horse is probably still smarter than someone who would make the kind of spurious argument you just tried to make.

I would argue that if a horse doesn't like what you're doing, you're going to get kicked in the face by a 1,400+ pound animal.


And you'd still be missing the obvious fact that the horse isn't capable of understanding what you're doing, let alone the ramifications. It's simply an animal which has been conditioned to be tolerant of human beings.

And that's before even peeling apart your misuse of the concept of not liking something. I don't like when my boss gives me extra work. That doesn't mean I kick her in the face, or even complain at all, when she does it - because I like to continue to have a job. My dog doesn't like it when I give him a bath... that doesn't mean he's going to attack me for doing it - I am his source of food so he tolerates it.
 
2013-02-01 07:02:50 PM

xcv: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur

Not quite stable?


Yeah, poor guy

/I guess you can't whinny them all
 
2013-02-01 07:09:00 PM
I wonder if there is a country where this story wouldn't be funny and would be seen as a tragic indictment of society's failure to care for the safety and wellbeing of people with mental disorders. Somewhere where the story might be reported with some gravitas and people like say something like it's tragic, rather than it being reported on local news stations as the horse buggerer, or whatever it is that I'm sure they're saying.

Someone in this thread even said it was a bonus that a pedophile killed himself. That's a horrible sentiment, first. Second, if he were a pedophile (which I highly doubt he was), that is a mental illness that should be treated. Since when is it acceptable to applaud mentally ill people for killing themselves? Third, it sounds like had something amiss (having sex with a woman, a horse, and indecency with a child makes it sound as if something neurologically is off). It's society's responsibility to keep someone with an issue like that safe from himself and from others.

We didn't do either. This is an embarrassment to everyone and in cases where a person is ill, it's least an embarrassment to the ill indivdual himself, IMO.

I know this is Fark, and I would have found this story funny if the guy were just drunk or something and only had been trying to have sex with a horse, but the fact that he also molested a child and killed himself makes the story sobering.
 
2013-02-01 07:11:56 PM

swingerofbirches: I wonder if there is a country where this story wouldn't be funny and would be seen as a tragic indictment of society's failure to care for the safety and wellbeing of people with mental disorders.


Even the Buddha would laugh about the horse baby joke.

Judging by his rap sheet, he knew this was a teaspoon in the horse compared to his other crimes. This guy was obviously making a funny.
 
2013-02-01 07:23:16 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


There is brilliant, and then there is this.  I bow to you, good sir.
 
2013-02-01 07:26:55 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: JWideman: That's NOT what animal husbandry means!

O RLY?

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x340]
/GIS for "animal husbandry"


Don't give Kwame any ideas.
 
2013-02-01 07:27:13 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Well that explains Hurricane Horse.
 
2013-02-01 07:28:24 PM
It had quadruplets!!  Whoooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-01 07:29:55 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Yeah, do you know what they do to child rapists/bronies in prison?


Not as much as you'd think, usually.
 
2013-02-01 07:32:06 PM
blondesearch.ru

/Dad?
 
2013-02-01 07:36:50 PM

Fluid: And somehow it never occurred to him that in spite of his well-considered plan, there are no centaurs to be seen in this world. That should've been a clue.


Not for lack of effort...from what I read on FARK.
 
2013-02-01 07:41:07 PM
Did they sell the horse to Burger King?
 
2013-02-01 07:41:20 PM
Have I missed the mugshot roundup this week?  If so, what day was it on?
 
2013-02-01 07:42:18 PM

swingerofbirches: I wonder if there is a country where this story wouldn't be funny and would be seen as a tragic indictment of society's failure to care for the safety and wellbeing of people with mental disorders. Somewhere where the story might be reported with some gravitas and people like say something like it's tragic, rather than it being reported on local news stations as the horse buggerer, or whatever it is that I'm sure they're saying.

Someone in this thread even said it was a bonus that a pedophile killed himself. That's a horrible sentiment, first. Second, if he were a pedophile (which I highly doubt he was), that is a mental illness that should be treated. Since when is it acceptable to applaud mentally ill people for killing themselves? Third, it sounds like had something amiss (having sex with a woman, a horse, and indecency with a child makes it sound as if something neurologically is off). It's society's responsibility to keep someone with an issue like that safe from himself and from others.

We didn't do either. This is an embarrassment to everyone and in cases where a person is ill, it's least an embarrassment to the ill indivdual himself, IMO.

I know this is Fark, and I would have found this story funny if the guy were just drunk or something and only had been trying to have sex with a horse, but the fact that he also molested a child and killed himself makes the story sobering.


Truly this is a tragic case of someone typing a wall of text instead of reading the article.
 
2013-02-01 07:52:41 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Another Brony caught in the act.


I am just as creeped out by Bronies as I am by this guy.
 
2013-02-01 08:09:03 PM
hystoricus.files.wordpress.com
Been there done that
 
2013-02-01 08:09:05 PM
This kind of crap will not stop until we outlaw horses.
 
2013-02-01 08:09:30 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: xcv: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur

Not quite stable?

Yeah, poor guy

/I guess you can't whinny them all


When they caught him it was a horse collar?
 
2013-02-01 08:11:36 PM

JonPace: This is the greatest story ever. Hilarious, ridiculous, and it ends with the hanging of a pedophile.


And yet mentally deficient people like you continue to exist.
 
2013-02-01 08:15:28 PM

p51d007: WOW!  Another Obuma voter!


You must be thrilled to be lumped in together with a horsefarker.
 
2013-02-01 08:17:36 PM
I was so hoping that the mare's jealous boyfriend stallion would have mounted the dude in retaliation.
That's how the guys do it where I'm not from.
 
2013-02-01 08:22:58 PM
I wish I could find it on Utube but the Warner Brother cartoon Histaria! did a bit on Catherine The Great talking about whathappened in History. Ill never forget it
Announcer: In the late 1700'sCatherine the GreatRuled Russia!
Happy horse next to her: Ill say!
My jaw was on the ground that they put that joke in a kids cartoon
 
2013-02-01 08:33:34 PM

ItchyMcDoogle: I wish I could find it on Utube but the Warner Brother cartoon Histaria! did a bit on Catherine The Great talking about whathappened in History. Ill never forget it
Announcer: In the late 1700'sCatherine the GreatRuled Russia!
Happy horse next to her: Ill say!
My jaw was on the ground that they put that joke in a kids cartoon


Looney Tunes had one with a fish that pulled out a revolver and said, "now I've seen everything" and proceeded to blow his head off.
 
2013-02-01 08:37:15 PM
www.fibits.com
 
2013-02-01 08:47:41 PM

Dragonflew: Because People in power are Stupid: Another Brony caught in the act.

I am just as creeped out by Bronies as I am by this guy.


I don't know. I've seen your internet history. Brazilian Transvestite Fart porn and three hundred instances of the word "Mandingo Party bukkake" doesn't make you morally superior.
 
2013-02-01 09:07:06 PM

Red Shirt Blues: horsegag.avi      (obscure?)


I think I can pinpoint your age within 5 years. Are you 30-35 years old?
 
2013-02-01 09:07:25 PM

DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!


Seriously, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse." has got to be one of the best perp statements ever.  Ever.  And the real beauty of it is, with the magic of the internet this dipshiat will never be able to get away from this.
 
2013-02-01 09:08:04 PM

Deacon Blue: DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!

Seriously, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse." has got to be one of the best perp statements ever.  Ever.  And the real beauty of it is, with the magic of the internet this dipshiat will never be able to get away from this.


It could have only been better had he said "I did it for the lulz."
 
2013-02-01 09:14:45 PM

Deacon Blue: DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!

Seriously, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse." has got to be one of the best perp statements ever.  Ever.  And the real beauty of it is, with the magic of the internet this dipshiat will never be able to get away from this.


Being that he's dead, I think he already did.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-01 09:16:24 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I think he's a bit off centaur


Awesome. (tip of the hat to you, well played).
 
2013-02-01 09:17:17 PM

Deacon Blue: DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!

Seriously, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse." has got to be one of the best perp statements ever.  Ever.  And the real beauty of it is, with the magic of the internet this dipshiat will never be able to get away from this.


Well he hung himself. So...
 
2013-02-01 09:21:00 PM
WordsnCollision:

/Dad?

Whoa. Thanks for making me feel old with that reminder of crappy childhood cartoons.
 
2013-02-01 09:34:59 PM
Turns out he really did get the horse pregnant.  The offspring:

www.thegauntlet.com
 
2013-02-01 09:44:04 PM

L.D. Ablo: Turns out he really did get the horse pregnant.  The offspring:

[www.thegauntlet.com image 650x488]


The look on the little kid's face at the right edge of the photo is hilarious.
 
2013-02-01 10:10:26 PM
blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com

Always has a ride home.
 
2013-02-01 10:43:45 PM
AWKWARD

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-01 10:55:01 PM
Somebody bedded the bay.
 
2013-02-01 11:02:08 PM

FunkOut: I think this guy had part of his brain missing.


Can relate:

i335.photobucket.com

 
2013-02-01 11:23:15 PM
imgc.artprintimages.com

Its been done
 
2013-02-01 11:52:00 PM
 upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-02 12:06:38 AM

St_Francis_P: Mendoza, who had been waiting to hear from his girlfriend, noted that, "I told myself that if she didn't call me I was going to go next door and mess with the neighbor's horse."

Mendoza explained. "I was thinking it would have a horseman baby."

Moron. What the horseman has his face, what does he think the neighbors will do?




In Scotland there's a story about a beastie with a horse's body and a human head that's been going around for awhile....
 
2013-02-02 01:12:38 AM

BronyMedic: Dragonflew: Because People in power are Stupid: Another Brony caught in the act.

I am just as creeped out by Bronies as I am by this guy.

I don't know. I've seen your internet history. Brazilian Transvestite Fart porn and three hundred instances of the word "Mandingo Party bukkake" doesn't make you morally superior.


Maybe not, but at least I'm creepy in a grown-up way. :)
 
2013-02-02 02:14:41 AM
If he'd have gone after a bull instead, maybe he could have even avoided having to hang himself.

/"Just a minotaur, I'm almost finished"
 
2013-02-02 02:50:20 AM

DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!


I weep.
 
2013-02-02 03:25:37 AM
I love a story with a happy ending.
 
2013-02-02 03:55:09 AM

Happy Hours: the_vegetarian_cannibal: JWideman: That's NOT what animal husbandry means!

O RLY?

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x340]
/GIS for "animal husbandry"

What I want to know is who first got the idea to jack off a farm animal, collect the sperm and then shove it into another farm animal,


If it saves a few thou on live animal shipping charges... *bites lip*... Ask the guy who shovels poo to do it.

I knew they did that with cows.  I shouldn't be surprised they do it with horses.  Now I'm wondering what other animals get that treatment.

Turkeys for one, and pigs. Turkey breasts have gotten so heavy that natural mating is impossible, I hear.
 
2013-02-02 03:59:32 AM

Gyrfalcon: Deacon Blue: DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!

Seriously, "I ain't going to lie, I blew a nut in the horse." has got to be one of the best perp statements ever.  Ever.  And the real beauty of it is, with the magic of the internet this dipshiat will never be able to get away from this.

Being that he's dead, I think he already did.


Be charismatic.

Diddle kids and livestock.

Hang yourself.

Prophet?
 
2013-02-02 04:43:23 AM

doglover: Prophet?


The prophet says you're going to hell for farking a horse.
 
2013-02-02 10:23:14 AM

DownDaRiver: [i877.photobucket.com image 297x374]
Heeh, I blew a nut!



larrybrownsports.com
Horse does not approve of your shenanigans
 
2013-02-02 11:46:40 AM

jst3p: Mendoza's criminal career subsequently ended when he hanged himself in a county jail,

I wonder if he hung like a horse.


Oh and I love having a reason to post my favorite song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8


I think you just found my new favorite band. Thanks!!!
 
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