FARK.com: (7569717) Back in the day we used to use "modems" to get "on-line". It used to take all night to download a single pixelated picture of your mom. Here is an illustrated explanation of the funny sounds these modems made

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		Back in the day we used to use "modems" to get "on-line". It used to take all night to download a single pixelated picture of your mom. Here is an illustrated explanation of the funny sounds these modems made (boingboing.net)		29
		More: Interesting, online, modems

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7659 clicks; posted to Geek » on 01 Feb 2013 at 5:09 PM | Favorite | share:

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xenomorpheus		2013-02-01 06:34:51 PM

4 votes:

MrEricSir: Mikey1969: 300baud: Uncle Pooky: I remember when getting a 14,400 baud modem was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when hard drives were a "new" copncept, modems were somethign only the programming teacher had, and color CRT monitors were a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when wheels were a "new" copncept, fire was somethign only the cooking teacher had, and colored fabric was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember the day saw a large black rectangular object and started killing other chimps with bones and stuff.

Treygreen13		2013-02-01 06:16:50 PM

4 votes:

Veritas333: I use five modems every day at work to communicate with traffic signals. Stupid DOS program hangs up with AT H instead of ATH, took me a while to find a modem that would understand it... Still works than the windows 95 program...

That explains a lot about my daily commute.

Traffic light: Oh, here comes a car down the road. Better switch to red.
*I pull up, wait at the red. There are no cars to be seen.*
Traffic light: Good. Good. Wait here my pretty.
*I wait longer. I see a car starting to come from the green side.*
Traffic light: Here comes another car! HE TOO MUST WAIT! I'll give them the green turn arrow just to mess with them!
*We both wait at the light until a car comes to use the green turn arrow.*
Traffic light: REDS ALL AROUND! NOBODY WILL GO!

BizarreMan		2013-02-01 05:19:17 PM

4 votes:

Ah, the mating call of the domestic American Modem.

I_Am_Weasel		2013-02-01 04:08:27 PM

3 votes:

It is sad that

"No! don't pick up the dog!"

xcbx#!NO TERRIER

has lost its mean

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves		2013-02-01 09:06:18 PM

2 votes:

300baud: Mikey1969: 300baud: Uncle Pooky: I remember when getting a 14,400 baud modem was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when hard drives were a "new" copncept, modems were somethign only the programming teacher had, and color CRT monitors were a significant upgrade.

Noob. I remember moving up from punch cards and saving programs on magnetic tape three or more times, because it was very likely you wouldn't be able to restore. All upper case character sets. Memory measured in bytes. My first modem was an acoustic coupler; I think it was 150 baud though it may have been 110, I'm ashamed I can't remember.

Back in MYYYYY DAYYYY we didn't have no fancy MOOOO-DEMMMS and we had to make all the noises over the phone ourselves.

Lord Dimwit		2013-02-01 05:56:05 PM

2 votes:

Uncle Pooky: I remember when getting a 14,400 baud modem was a significant upgrade.

I remember when getting a 1200 baud modem was a significant upgrade. Get off my lawn. ;)

Precision Boobery		2013-02-01 05:46:52 PM

2 votes:

You can even kind of tell which part is the ^{EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE}_{EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE} and which is the doidong-dong and which is the cuaksshhsshhsshhshsh.

RexTalionis		2013-02-01 04:36:18 PM

2 votes:

I'm sorry, but do you not use a modem now to go online?

tricycleracer		2013-02-01 04:31:42 PM

2 votes:

DjangoStonereaver		2013-02-01 04:03:14 PM

2 votes:

UberDave: The pic doesn't show the noise made when someone else in the house pics up the phone line...

Until error correcting modems became standard, that sound was usually "SONOFAbiatch!"

brap		2013-02-01 03:42:38 PM

2 votes:

SCREEEEEzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzrt peeeeeedonk! peeeeeedonk!

UberDave		2013-02-01 03:36:16 PM

2 votes:

The pic doesn't show the noise made when someone else in the house pics up the phone line...

Notabunny		2013-02-02 02:15:46 AM

1 votes:

pheelix		2013-02-02 12:12:32 AM

1 votes:

Hottest looking modem ever.

sendtodave		2013-02-01 09:52:46 PM

1 votes:

Stop, modulate and listen.

HMS_Blinkin		2013-02-01 09:36:35 PM

1 votes:

Zombalupagus: xenomorpheus: MrEricSir: Mikey1969: 300baud: Uncle Pooky: I remember when getting a 14,400 baud modem was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when hard drives were a "new" copncept, modems were somethign only the programming teacher had, and color CRT monitors were a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when wheels were a "new" copncept, fire was somethign only the cooking teacher had, and colored fabric was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember the day saw a large black rectangular object and started killing other chimps with bones and stuff.

Noob.

I remember God mumbling something about creating something new called "dirt".

Noob.

I remember when all of the matter in the universe was condensed into a single, infinitesimally small point of infinite mass.

Marcus Aurelius		2013-02-01 08:38:15 PM

1 votes:

300baud: Mikey1969:

When I was a kid, we went on a tour of the Sheriff's station, and they took us in a room and showed us their new computer, all punchcard activated and huge... The guy loaded in a punchcard, and the printer went to town, eventually printing up what was probably a 20x30 picture of the Mona Lisa, Not quite ASCII art, but that's the closest I can come to something I've seen since, it printed regular characters, anything on the keyboard, and overstriking to create shade and texture. Crude by today's standards, but absofarkinglutely amazing in 1980-ish.

When the pic was done, the guy doing the tour took it off the printer and asked who wanted it. Crickets commenced to fiddling... I was in shock, I held up my hand and went home with this absolutely cool piece of art. It was the coolest part of the tour, the only other things I remember is the lockers where they have to put their guns before walking into any area with prisoners(Something I call BS on to this day in the movies), and their story of how they had to change their lock system because some guy jammed the place where the striker for the lock is supposed to sit full of gum wrappers, and since it was spring-loaded, the door never latched. Guy walked out the door, easy-peasy, I guess.

The picture may exist, but sadly I am dependent on my aunt and uncle who used to be my adop ...

Heh, what a coincidence. I actually have a big "Mona By The Numbers" hanging on the wall 10 feet away. It's dated October 24, 1965 by "H.P. Peterson" It was my late father's and I'm afraid I don't know its story, but he kept it hanging for over forty years!

Hubba hubba (NSFW in any decade)

sswo		2013-02-01 07:40:02 PM

1 votes:

Why didn't they post a link to the .wav file of the sound?

Or at least the sound as a ringtone.

styckx		2013-02-01 06:53:19 PM

1 votes:

Trumpet Winsock was the bane of my existence.

Zombalupagus		2013-02-01 06:45:10 PM

1 votes:

xenomorpheus: MrEricSir: Mikey1969: 300baud: Uncle Pooky: I remember when getting a 14,400 baud modem was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when hard drives were a "new" copncept, modems were somethign only the programming teacher had, and color CRT monitors were a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when wheels were a "new" copncept, fire was somethign only the cooking teacher had, and colored fabric was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember the day saw a large black rectangular object and started killing other chimps with bones and stuff.

Noob.

I remember God mumbling something about creating something new called "dirt".

Lord Dimwit		2013-02-01 06:38:40 PM

1 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: xenomorpheus: very nice graphic, I need to see about making one of these for my company's dial-up network service and our bearer services. I think my 286 was the first computer I had that I added a modem to so I could scour BBS systems

for you kids out there, BBS was , aw hell go wiki it already

Positive luxury. I had to solder a pair of Motorola serial I/O chips onto the motherboard of a Commodore 8032 and write my own comm routines in 8 bit assembler to get onto the local BBS.

And we were glad.

I can't remember who said it but I always liked the quote (paraphrased here): "the problem with modern programmers isn't that they can't stuff a device driver into a spare 24 bytes they found in unused scratch memory, but that they won't even try."

Marcus Aurelius		2013-02-01 06:34:33 PM

1 votes:

xenomorpheus: very nice graphic, I need to see about making one of these for my company's dial-up network service and our bearer services. I think my 286 was the first computer I had that I added a modem to so I could scour BBS systems

for you kids out there, BBS was , aw hell go wiki it already

Positive luxury. I had to solder a pair of Motorola serial I/O chips onto the motherboard of a Commodore 8032 and write my own comm routines in 8 bit assembler to get onto the local BBS.

And we were glad.

Glancing Blow		2013-02-01 06:17:44 PM

1 votes:

I have a lot of trouble fitting my cell phone into my Anderson-Jacobsan 300bps acoustical coupler (aka modem).

Mikey1969		2013-02-01 06:04:00 PM

1 votes:

300baud: Uncle Pooky: I remember when getting a 14,400 baud modem was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

I remember days when hard drives were a "new" copncept, modems were somethign only the programming teacher had, and color CRT monitors were a significant upgrade.

highendmighty		2013-02-01 05:58:57 PM

1 votes:

Is there an illustrated explanation about the noises old Apple II drives made when booting?

AH-OOOOOO-Gah - Chnk Chnk Chnk.

300baud		2013-02-01 05:56:14 PM

1 votes:

Uncle Pooky: I remember when getting a 14,400 baud modem was a significant upgrade.

Noob.

P8ntfotch		2013-02-01 05:52:32 PM

1 votes:

That was freaking awesome. I may just have to dig up my USR and make some noise tonight. Where, oh where is my BBS?

/SYSOP for Life

MrEricSir		2013-02-01 05:30:45 PM

1 votes:

RexTalionis: I'm sorry, but do you not use a modem now to go online?

Of course not, I just steal my neighbor's wifi.

I_Am_Weasel		2013-02-01 03:50:12 PM

1 votes:

brap: SCREEEEEzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzrt peeeeeedonk! peeeeeedonk!

Crap! I didn't think anyone could hear me.

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