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(The Atlantic)   The problem with DIY penis implants   (theatlantic.com) divider line 35
    More: Scary, implants, sticky tape, u.s. prisons, harm reduction, blood-borne disease, Journal of Sexual Medicine, University of New South Wales, body piercing  
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15436 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 3:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-01 03:51:07 PM
7 votes:
There once was a man locked in prison
who felt that there was something missin'
he gathered up dice,
ball bearings, and mice,
And undertook phallus revision.
2013-02-01 03:36:33 PM
6 votes:

Pud: So is this supposed to be a pic. of what a penis implant might look like?

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 615x330]

*shudder*


SWEET! Looks like my dick rolled a 40!

/what? your dick doesn't do 12d6 damage?
2013-02-01 02:42:17 PM
5 votes:

ArkAngel: Just the headline made me wince


You know, there was a time when it was completely acceptable to insert things into your Wang.

1.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-01 03:45:09 PM
3 votes:
6-sided dice are for wimps.

farm4.staticflickr.com
2013-02-01 03:22:50 PM
3 votes:
Take out the hyphen for maximum giggles.
www.thecollegetownlife.com
2013-02-01 05:03:07 PM
2 votes:
www.explosm.net
2013-02-01 04:43:29 PM
2 votes:
As with anything like this, it could have been worse.


www.wired.com
2013-02-01 03:55:16 PM
2 votes:
I thought the article was about implanting your penis into things.

I implanted mine into a goat one time. But before you guys start saying that's weird, it was a female goat.
2013-02-01 03:45:12 PM
2 votes:
Unless they are dungeon masters

www.legendgames.co.uk
2013-02-01 03:33:12 PM
2 votes:
This says it all.
mlpchan.net
2013-02-01 03:25:19 PM
2 votes:
Ha ha ha! I know this topic somewhat intimately. Copy and paste from a thread from years ago that I have linked in my profile:


"True confession time:

So about 10 years ago, I was reading a book called Modern Primitives. In this book was an illustration of a custom Japanese prisoners used to do; for ever year they were in jail, they would take a sharpened piece of bamboo and make an incision in the shaft of their penis and insert a pearl. After a few years, they would have a "studded" cock. Well, I thought this was the cat's meow, so I went and ordered surgical steel ball bearings, got a scalpel, sutures, and planned my alteration. One night, after a few beers, I figured the time had come. I prepped the area, assembled my tools, and made the first incision.


You would not believe how much the penis bleeds when cut.


I had a pool of blood in my lap in seconds. I tried to push the ball in, but it was too slippery, I couldn't get a grip, nor could I see through all the blood. Minutes of trying got me nowhere, so I finally gave up, bandaged my dong and mopped up the blood. I did learn the rule the headline stated that day, as well as alcohol thins out your blood."
2013-02-02 06:18:27 AM
1 votes:
I'd wager the sole problem with DIY penis implants is the DIY part.
2013-02-01 08:41:21 PM
1 votes:
They are correct about the Asian thing. Of all the dicks I've sucked in my time, I've come across this only once in Thailand and once in Vietnam. The Thai guy actually called it a "silicone implant" and claimed that it makes sex better for the woman though I doubt it. It's awful for the person giving the blowjob because its a bump in the middle. I regret my Viet friend who did this in two spots. Before he did this, he was one of my favorite people to suck off, his dick was the perfect long and skinny and perfect for sucking to orgasm but after he put those things in, it became way harder for me.
2013-02-01 08:20:30 PM
1 votes:

The Angry Hand of God: MythDragon: I thought the article was about implanting your penis into things.

I implanted mine into a goat one time. But before you guys start saying that's weird, it was a female goat.

As long as you were a gentleman and went down on her first, I don't see a problem with this.


th03.deviantart.net

I'ms not goings down on goats. I'ms big rockstar now. They goes down on me! I don't have to do that anymore!
2013-02-01 05:17:28 PM
1 votes:
Nothing to do all day,
so to whittle the time away,
i step into my bunk,
slice up my junk,
'cause giving the shaft a berm,
seems to shorten my prison term.
2013-02-01 04:56:19 PM
1 votes:

Salmon: Unless they are dungeon masters

[www.legendgames.co.uk image 240x206]


trying to make a joke about thaco and unfortunate consequences of do it yourself penis enlargement...

hmm

/ you have lost your savings throw vs genital mutilation
2013-02-01 04:43:12 PM
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-02-01 04:41:39 PM
1 votes:
Cool, now I can drink all I want tonight as my penis has run away.
2013-02-01 04:11:32 PM
1 votes:
I mean, what else are you going to do with those toothpaste caps? Throw them away?

You people disgust me with your wastefulness.
2013-02-01 03:44:01 PM
1 votes:

Teiritzamna: Pud: So is this supposed to be a pic. of what a penis implant might look like?

[cdn.theatlantic.com image 615x330]

*shudder*

SWEET! Looks like my dick rolled a 40!

/what? your dick doesn't do 12d6 damage?


Thread = won
2013-02-01 03:38:03 PM
1 votes:

brap: Why anyone would want to make their dingdong look like it has smallpox I'll never know.


For her pleasure, of course!
2013-02-01 03:37:47 PM
1 votes:
Make her think she is chewing on a Pay Day?
2013-02-01 03:36:15 PM
1 votes:

FarkinHostile: Ha ha ha! I know this topic somewhat intimately. Copy and paste from a thread from years ago that I have linked in my profile:


"True confession time:

So about 10 years ago, I was reading a book called Modern Primitives. In this book was an illustration of a custom Japanese prisoners used to do; for ever year they were in jail, they would take a sharpened piece of bamboo and make an incision in the shaft of their penis and insert a pearl. After a few years, they would have a "studded" cock. Well, I thought this was the cat's meow, so I went and ordered surgical steel ball bearings, got a scalpel, sutures, and planned my alteration. One night, after a few beers, I figured the time had come. I prepped the area, assembled my tools, and made the first incision.


You would not believe how much the penis bleeds when cut.


I had a pool of blood in my lap in seconds. I tried to push the ball in, but it was too slippery, I couldn't get a grip, nor could I see through all the blood. Minutes of trying got me nowhere, so I finally gave up, bandaged my dong and mopped up the blood. I did learn the rule the headline stated that day, as well as alcohol thins out your blood."


I would've carried that secret to my grave if I were you, now you will be added to my favorites list with an appropriate reminder as to why.
2013-02-01 03:27:46 PM
1 votes:
Do not DIY. If you must have an implant, go to a professional doctor. Or for gods' sakes, just buy a sports car like the rest of us.
2013-02-01 03:24:47 PM
1 votes:

Pud: So is this supposed to be a pic. of what a penis implant might look like?



cdn.theatlantic.com
*shudder*

Brings the whole idea of throwing craps to a new level.

\rimshot.
2013-02-01 03:24:41 PM
1 votes:
I'm sure prison can get pretty boring, and I know they have activities to do, but gotdamn.
2013-02-01 03:24:30 PM
1 votes:
archive.heinessen.com
2013-02-01 03:24:05 PM
1 votes:
I gave subby's mom a penis implant
2013-02-01 03:20:14 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: AtticusFinchEsq: "The"? As in there's only one?

Came to say the same thing

/I can think of several right off the top

tip

FTFY
2013-02-01 03:18:59 PM
1 votes:
Couldn't even click the link.
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-02-01 02:51:07 PM
1 votes:
So is this supposed to be a pic. of what a penis implant might look like?

cdn.theatlantic.com

*shudder*
2013-02-01 02:44:16 PM
1 votes:
Once we looked at the data we thought it might be incorrect, so we went back again and verified everything, but it was all correct," Lorraine Yap,

cdn2.hark.com

I wish you could just shut your big YAPPER!
2013-02-01 12:26:44 PM
1 votes:
The only thing that's going in my penis is... wait! Nothing better be going in my penis!
2013-02-01 12:01:26 PM
1 votes:
Not surprising. Home appendectomies never caught on either, for similar reasons.
2013-02-01 11:54:43 AM
1 votes:
"The"? As in there's only one?
 
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