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(SFGate)   Man kidnaps girl that doesn't exist   (sfgate.com) divider line 79
    More: Scary, AMBER Alert  
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14353 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 1:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-01 03:01:58 PM  

asciibaron: the Aristocrats?


shakes tiny fist
 
2013-02-01 03:04:38 PM  

KangTheMad: FarkinHostile: KangTheMad: Man, fark her. I bet the prison rape won't be made up


How cute. You think she is going to be charged just for falsely accusing a man of something.

/pinches cheek

Filing a false felony report is a felony. She's going to get charged with that.


It's California - don't be too sure.  They didn't bother to do anything to the girl in SoCal who accused that football player of rape. Even though he spent 5 years in jail.
 
2013-02-01 03:06:29 PM  

asciibaron: the Aristocrats?


No. It's not The Aristocrats without at four people vomiting, someone defecating on someone else, and, at minimum, three occurrences of incest.

People really need to watch the movie before making this joke.
 
2013-02-01 03:08:53 PM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: Theaetetus: And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.

You're not that stupid (completely utterly dishonest, but not that stupid).  So you know full well it is an exact parallel to logic used in courts to impose child support on men for children that aren't theirs.


And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?
 
2013-02-01 03:17:18 PM  

bruegel: It's California - don't be too sure. They didn't bother to do anything to the girl in SoCal who accused that football player of rape. Even though he spent 5 years in jail.


That's a completely different case. The DA didn't press charges on her because it would be very hard to prove that she was in fact not raped...yes, even though she was on tape saying Banks didn't rape her.

With this, it is much easier to prove that the child does or does not exist.
 
2013-02-01 03:20:31 PM  

Theaetetus: And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?


I retract the first statement in my previous post.
 
2013-02-01 03:23:39 PM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: Theaetetus: And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?

I retract the first statement in my previous post.


... says the guy claiming that a strawman that relies on fictional children has any validity. Coming from you, your statement is a compliment.
 
2013-02-01 03:28:56 PM  

uncleacid: Dan Marino?


"Dan Marino had a love child with a woman in 2005. They have a lot in common. Neither one has a ring. " Costaki Economopoulos
 
2013-02-01 03:34:16 PM  

Theaetetus: ThrobblefootSpectre: Theaetetus: And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.

You're not that stupid (completely utterly dishonest, but not that stupid).  So you know full well it is an exact parallel to logic used in courts to impose child support on men for children that aren't theirs.

And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?


He was using hyperbole to illustrate an injustice perpetrated in courtrooms across this country every day (by douchebags like you), but you knew that and aren't happy unless you're being a retarded farking contrarian asshole.
 
2013-02-01 03:37:10 PM  
The Fark headline is (possibly) wrong.  The article does not say that the child does not exist.  The woman insists that she and the man did have a child together.  The last line of the article indicates that no child had been kidnapped.  It sounds like the child does exist but was not kidnapped.  If that's the case, then there are 3 possibilities:

1)  The child was in the care of the woman and she made the whole kidnapping thing up from scratch.
2)  The child was in the care of the man and the woman reported it as a kidnapping.
3)  The child was in the care of someone else (at school, day care, with someone else who has custody, etc.) and the woman reported it as the man kidnapping the child.

The story lacks information about the woman, so we don't know if she's crazy or has a lifestyle (ex: heavy drug use, criminal history, etc.) that caused her to lose custody.
 
2013-02-01 03:50:20 PM  
KangTheMad:

FarkinHostile: KangTheMad: Man, fark her. I bet the prison rape won't be made up


How cute. You think she is going to be charged just for falsely accusing a man of something.

/pinches cheek

"Filing a false felony report is a felony. She's going to get charged with that."

Unlikely. This is oakland, where they have decided to no longer take reports on property (among many other "low level") crimes, as the police force is stretched too thin.

More likely, as johnperkins above wrote, there will be no charges filed based on mental incompetence, due to schizophrenia or drug use. But ianal.
 
2013-02-01 04:00:10 PM  

Bender The Offender: Theaetetus: ThrobblefootSpectre: Theaetetus: And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.

You're not that stupid (completely utterly dishonest, but not that stupid).  So you know full well it is an exact parallel to logic used in courts to impose child support on men for children that aren't theirs.

And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?

He was using hyperbole to illustrate an injustice perpetrated in courtrooms across this country every day (by douchebags like you), but you knew that and aren't happy unless you're being a retarded farking contrarian asshole.


Nope, once he said "actual feminist/lawyer logic" then he was insisting it wasn't hyperbole. So, I called him out for his bullshiat strawman. Which led you you white knighting him, which is where we are now. Glad everyone's up to speed.
 
2013-02-01 04:04:40 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay


Excellent work. You are now as green as the mighty forests of British Columbia (The giant redwood, the larch, the fir, the mighty scots pine!) for me.
 
2013-02-01 04:05:04 PM  

Theaetetus: Bender The Offender: Theaetetus: ThrobblefootSpectre: Theaetetus: And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.

You're not that stupid (completely utterly dishonest, but not that stupid).  So you know full well it is an exact parallel to logic used in courts to impose child support on men for children that aren't theirs.

And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?

He was using hyperbole to illustrate an injustice perpetrated in courtrooms across this country every day (by douchebags like you), but you knew that and aren't happy unless you're being a retarded farking contrarian asshole.

Nope, once he said "actual feminist/lawyer logic" then he was insisting it wasn't hyperbole. So, I called him out for his bullshiat strawman. Which led you you white knighting him, which is where we are now. Glad everyone's up to speed.


With that kind of "argument" I can only imagine that you, Skinnyhead and Orly Taitz are in practice together.
 
2013-02-01 04:08:23 PM  

Bender The Offender: Theaetetus: Bender The Offender: Theaetetus: ThrobblefootSpectre: Theaetetus: And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.

You're not that stupid (completely utterly dishonest, but not that stupid).  So you know full well it is an exact parallel to logic used in courts to impose child support on men for children that aren't theirs.

And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?

He was using hyperbole to illustrate an injustice perpetrated in courtrooms across this country every day (by douchebags like you), but you knew that and aren't happy unless you're being a retarded farking contrarian asshole.

Nope, once he said "actual feminist/lawyer logic" then he was insisting it wasn't hyperbole. So, I called him out for his bullshiat strawman. Which led you you white knighting him, which is where we are now. Glad everyone's up to speed.

With that kind of "argument" I can only imagine that you, Skinnyhead and Orly Taitz are in practice together.


Huh. You go from white knighting him to practically calling him a liar in just two posts. Well, sir, I may disagree with Throbblefoot, but I take him at his word when he says he thinks something is "actual".
 
2013-02-01 04:12:24 PM  

Russ1642: Don't put your dick in crazy.


And don't give crazy an imaginary baby.
 
2013-02-01 04:22:38 PM  

aphyd: asciibaron: the Aristocrats?

No. It's not The Aristocrats without at four people vomiting, someone defecating on someone else, and, at minimum, three occurrences of incest.

People really need to watch the movie before making this joke.


Chillax pally. A potential reason for using this phrase is that it seems many details are missing from the story.
 
2013-02-01 04:23:12 PM  
FTFA: An Oakland woman triggered a fase Amber Alert on Thursday after accusing an acquaintance with stealing a baby.
 
2013-02-01 04:34:34 PM  

Theaetetus: Bender The Offender: Theaetetus: Bender The Offender: Theaetetus: ThrobblefootSpectre: Theaetetus: And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.

You're not that stupid (completely utterly dishonest, but not that stupid).  So you know full well it is an exact parallel to logic used in courts to impose child support on men for children that aren't theirs.

And yet, those children exist. Gosh, I wonder if there's a crucial difference between a child who has rights and something you farted out?

He was using hyperbole to illustrate an injustice perpetrated in courtrooms across this country every day (by douchebags like you), but you knew that and aren't happy unless you're being a retarded farking contrarian asshole.

Nope, once he said "actual feminist/lawyer logic" then he was insisting it wasn't hyperbole. So, I called him out for his bullshiat strawman. Which led you you white knighting him, which is where we are now. Glad everyone's up to speed.

With that kind of "argument" I can only imagine that you, Skinnyhead and Orly Taitz are in practice together.

Huh. You go from white knighting him to practically calling him a liar in just two posts. Well, sir, I may disagree with Throbblefoot, but I take him at his word when he says he thinks something is "actual".


" Herpa derpa derpity doo, let me twist your words for you "
Yes, that sounds rational and not completely farking stupid. It seems you have absolutely no ability to extrapolate any meaning beyond the strictly literal. Have you suffered some sort of head injury? I'm going to feel really bad if I'm picking on someone that's got brain tumors or a large nail in their brain.
 
2013-02-01 04:35:44 PM  
I hate fase alarms.  Beware of fase prophets.

/fase
 
2013-02-01 06:09:14 PM  

namegoeshere: Could be worse. Victoria and Mendell Banks were convicted and sent to prison for murdering their baby who never existed. Fark: She had had a tubal ligation and could not possibly have given birth to the non-child that she didn't murder. They were convicted anyway.


Actually they pled guilty.  Guaranteed they were not the brightest people around.  Admit to murder or admit to faking pregnancy to keep out of jail on another charge.
 
2013-02-01 07:35:56 PM  
She should have to spend the rest of her life in the sex offenders database.
 
2013-02-01 09:44:20 PM  
Wow...this thread got stupid. Moving right along
 
2013-02-01 09:54:30 PM  
Wait!  Te'o's girlfriend has been kidnapped now?
 
2013-02-02 01:00:46 AM  
 
2013-02-02 04:07:21 AM  
FTFA: "Hours later the man contacted police, said he had heard officers were looking for him and denied having a child with the woman, said OfficerJohnna Watson, an Oakland police spokeswoman. The woman, whose name has not been released, insisted that the two do have a child together, police said. Investigators determined that no child had been kidnapped. The woman could face charges of filing a false police report, authorities said."


They should do a lot more than that to her.  Why isn't her name being released??!  She just did horrible harm to this man.  She is not an innocent.  She's a criminal.  Lock her ass up, just like if she had been a man.  There should be zero tolerance for the games females play.
 
2013-02-02 04:07:58 AM  

bruegel: KangTheMad: FarkinHostile: KangTheMad: Man, fark her. I bet the prison rape won't be made up


How cute. You think she is going to be charged just for falsely accusing a man of something.

/pinches cheek

Filing a false felony report is a felony. She's going to get charged with that.

It's California - don't be too sure.  They didn't bother to do anything to the girl in SoCal who accused that football player of rape. Even though he spent 5 years in jail.


And that's an outrage.
 
2013-02-02 04:09:44 AM  

Catlike Typist: Here's an article with actual information in it:  http://www.mercurynews.com/breaking-news/ci_22497737/oakland-amber-al e rt-issued-following-abduction-1-year


Lots of information... except for this biatch's name.  They name the fake girl, and the name of the man, but not the woman who made up the story in the first place trying to get him arrested.  Unbelieveable.
 
2013-02-02 06:20:52 PM  

BizarreMan: namegoeshere: Could be worse. Victoria and Mendell Banks were convicted and sent to prison for murdering their baby who never existed. Fark: She had had a tubal ligation and could not possibly have given birth to the non-child that she didn't murder. They were convicted anyway.

Actually they pled guilty.  Guaranteed they were not the brightest people around.  Admit to murder or admit to faking pregnancy to keep out of jail on another charge.


Yes, but they were told they'd be convicted anyway and put to death. The only way to avoid the death penalty was to plead guilty. They were very low IQ and fell for it.
 
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