If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SFGate)   Man kidnaps girl that doesn't exist   (sfgate.com) divider line 79
    More: Scary, AMBER Alert  
•       •       •

14350 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 1:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



79 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-01 02:00:18 PM
I bet she has leukemia.
 
2013-02-01 02:01:04 PM
This is the new America.
 
2013-02-01 02:01:22 PM
I guarantee you that this woman is incredibly hot.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-01 02:01:23 PM
Man, fark her. I bet the prison rape won't be made up
 
2013-02-01 02:02:01 PM
Is the girl's name Bunny Lake?
 
2013-02-01 02:02:10 PM
the Aristocrats?
 
2013-02-01 02:02:45 PM
Is she a Dwarf?
 
2013-02-01 02:03:42 PM
And now he will be drafted by the NFL
 
2013-02-01 02:03:47 PM
Done in one.
 
2013-02-01 02:04:01 PM
the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay
 
2013-02-01 02:04:06 PM
It would be hilarious if this guy's last name is Tuttle.
 
2013-02-01 02:04:22 PM
I'm impressed this didn't end with the police killing him anyway.
 
2013-02-01 02:04:29 PM
Normally the word who is preferred to the word that when referring to a person, but since she doesn't exist I guess the usage is acceptable in this case.
 
2013-02-01 02:04:35 PM

KangTheMad: Man, fark her. I bet the prison rape won't be made up



How cute. You think she is going to be charged just for falsely accusing a man of something.

/pinches cheek
 
2013-02-01 02:04:45 PM
Come to think of it, Amber Alert would be a great porn name.
 
2013-02-01 02:05:06 PM
Still won't convince the judge to reduce his child-support payments, I'll bet...
 
2013-02-01 02:06:54 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay


Thank you for creeping me out.

An original work?
 
2013-02-01 02:07:16 PM
She wasn't kidnapped.  She eloped to Hawaii.
 
2013-02-01 02:07:19 PM
dastardly!
 
2013-02-01 02:09:04 PM
Between this and Te'o, we're looking at the makings of a JJ Abrams series on FOX.

/how do you think the timeline reacts when people are erased from history?
 
2013-02-01 02:09:26 PM

FarkingReading: I guarantee you that this woman is incredibly hot.


But is she a freak in the sheet

/we've so far proven the freak part, I've got sheets on my bed, i think i can arrange something
 
2013-02-01 02:09:39 PM

Delawheredad: It would be hilarious if this guy's last name is Tuttle.


M*A*S*H reference?
 
2013-02-01 02:10:02 PM

alabasterblack: Bill_Wick's_Friend: the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay

Thank you for creeping me out.

An original work?


Probably saw Identity recently.
 
2013-02-01 02:10:04 PM
www.gpb.org>

Wanted for questioning
 
2013-02-01 02:11:40 PM

alabasterblack: Bill_Wick's_Friend: the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay

Thank you for creeping me out.

An original work?


Parody

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hughes_Mearns
 
2013-02-01 02:12:20 PM
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-02-01 02:12:55 PM
Also, is this possible MOTY award?

/oh, wait a secondnever mind
 
2013-02-01 02:13:09 PM

alabasterblack: Bill_Wick's_Friend: the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay

Thank you for creeping me out.

An original work?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antigonish_(poem">http://en.wikipedia.o rg/wiki/Antigonish_(poem)

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn't see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don't you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door... (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh, how I wish he'd go away
 
2013-02-01 02:13:18 PM
Could be worse. Victoria and Mendell Banks were convicted and sent to prison for murdering their baby who never existed. Fark: She had had a tubal ligation and could not possibly have given birth to the non-child that she didn't murder. They were convicted anyway.
 
2013-02-01 02:13:47 PM
Dan Marino?
 
2013-02-01 02:14:37 PM

Frozboz: alabasterblack: Bill_Wick's_Friend: the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay

Thank you for creeping me out.

An original work?

Probably saw Identity recently.


First thing I thought of. Awesome movie, IMHO.
 
2013-02-01 02:14:43 PM

OtherLittleGuy: Between this and Te'o, we're looking at the makings of a JJ Abrams series on FOX.

/how do you think the timeline reacts when people are erased from history?


Yeah! Fringe reference!
 
2013-02-01 02:15:21 PM

stevejovi: Still won't convince the judge to reduce his child-support payments, I'll bet...


If you supported the non-existent child this long, then the non-existent child has grown accustomed to a certain level of support that must continue to be provided.  And you have already de facto accepted the role of father for the non existent child.

actual feminist/lawyer logic
 
2013-02-01 02:16:03 PM
truecrimejunkie.com

"FIB MOM DISGUSTS ME!"
 
2013-02-01 02:17:20 PM

ThrobblefootSpectre: stevejovi: Still won't convince the judge to reduce his child-support payments, I'll bet...

If you supported the non-existent child this long, then the non-existent child has grown accustomed to a certain level of support that must continue to be provided.  And you have already de facto accepted the role of father for the non existent child.

actual feminist/lawyer logic


But what about a feminist lawer?

/hell hath no fury
 
2013-02-01 02:18:54 PM
Same man later humiliated by a Rolling Tide.
 
2013-02-01 02:22:19 PM

FarkinHostile: KangTheMad: Man, fark her. I bet the prison rape won't be made up


How cute. You think she is going to be charged just for falsely accusing a man of something.

/pinches cheek


Filing a false felony report is a felony. She's going to get charged with that.
 
2013-02-01 02:22:28 PM

FarkingReading: alabasterblack: Bill_Wick's_Friend: the other day upon the stair
i kidnapped a girl who wasn't there
she wasn't there again today
her relatives refuse to pay

Thank you for creeping me out.

An original work?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antigonish_(poem">http://en.wikipedia.o rg/wiki/Antigonish_(poem)

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...

When I came home last night at three
The man was waiting there for me
But when I looked around the hall
I couldn't see him there at all!
Go away, go away, don't you come back any more!
Go away, go away, and please don't slam the door... (slam!)

Last night I saw upon the stair
A little man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
Oh, how I wish he'd go away


It is amazing the imagery and thoughts that can be expressed in such simple words. In the age of streaming video and music it is surprising that (well) written word is still so powerful.
 
2013-02-01 02:23:15 PM
Vuseen

  Yep its a M*A*S*H reference. One of the all time great episodes Hawkeye and Trapper invent Major Tuttle to send his paycheck and benefits to the local orphanage. And of course his physical description is juicy enough that Hotlips starts lusting after a man who doesn't exist.
 
2013-02-01 02:26:12 PM

7th Son of a 7th Son: Come to think of it, Amber Alert would be a great porn name.


images.sodahead.com
 
2013-02-01 02:29:06 PM
In your fase!
 
2013-02-01 02:31:06 PM
Kinda curious how she escaped a charge for lying to the police...
 
2013-02-01 02:33:52 PM
wiki.tarantino.info

Unimpressed.
 
2013-02-01 02:35:59 PM
Don't put your dick in crazy.
 
2013-02-01 02:42:22 PM
The child exists, but only in the woman's mind.
 
2013-02-01 02:42:23 PM

FarkingReading: I guarantee you that this woman is incredibly hot.

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 299x168]


i guarantee you she isn't.  attractive women from east oakland tend to escape east oakland
 
2013-02-01 02:48:46 PM

No Time To Explain: ThrobblefootSpectre: stevejovi: Still won't convince the judge to reduce his child-support payments, I'll bet...

If you supported the non-existent child this long, then the non-existent child has grown accustomed to a certain level of support that must continue to be provided.  And you have already de facto accepted the role of father for the non existent child.

actual feminist/lawyer logic

But what about a feminist lawer?


You rang?

And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.
 
2013-02-01 02:55:47 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-01 02:56:45 PM
This little girl is destined to grow up and date Manti Te'o
 
2013-02-01 02:59:44 PM

Theaetetus: And as for "actual feminist/lawyer logic," I'm sure Throbblefoot has a citation or quote...? A reputable source? Ah, yes, his ass. It may be good at raising a stink, but as far as truth is concerned, it's full of shiat.


You're not that stupid (completely utterly dishonest, but not that stupid).  So you know full well it is an exact parallel to logic used in courts to impose child support on men for children that aren't theirs.
 
Displayed 50 of 79 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report