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(Daily Mail)   "A sexual 29-year-old is looking for a man." "Asexual 29-year-old is looking for a man." The difference a space can make   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 364
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21935 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 11:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-01 01:04:58 PM
It's like the difference between Googling cream pie and creampie.

/Don't look-up the latter term at work.
 
2013-02-01 01:06:17 PM

ChipNASA: jonjr215: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]
Why the long face?

DEFINATELY a 4 1/2 head.

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]


Not to mention the...

straightfromthea.com
 
2013-02-01 01:06:59 PM

Strix occidentalis: Anthracite: I am at a loss... So kissing and toucking ok but no actual sex or are there "degrees" of being Asexual?

There's a whole spectrum, and also a difference between sexual and romantic orientations.  For example, I'm grey-A and  homoromantic, and I'm in a very fulfilling emotional/intellectual relationship with a wonderful lady that does also involve some kisses and a fair deal of cuddling.

/but because ace relationships tend to confuse a lot of people, I usually just describe myself as "lesbian" in casual conversation.


Thanks for the explanation. I am constantly learning something from this site everyday :)
 
2013-02-01 01:08:32 PM

blatz514: Not sure what that story was about but something caught my eye...[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x699]


Nope. I'm not asexual.
 
2013-02-01 01:10:28 PM
I can imagine why she's asexual. With looks like that, her relationship history has not likely included any Prince Charmings. Add to that a sprinkle of childhood abuse (probably) and the superiority complex of a vegan, and you've got the perfect recipe for a frigid biatch.

/Hetero-romantic, myself.
//No aversion to sex, it's just not in my priorities.
 
2013-02-01 01:11:32 PM
Without reading the thread, I am guessing that a lot of the same people who accept all the myriad of sexual preferences with LGBT people, are now being bigoted when confronted with asexuality.

/checks thread
//yep
 
2013-02-01 01:12:20 PM

WhippingBoy: Why is it that women have a compelling need to make other people as miserable as they are?


Misery loves company?
 
2013-02-01 01:12:29 PM

Pert: My Uncle Jamal says he is trisexual... because he will try anything sexual.


He said that to you? Eww.
 
2013-02-01 01:13:15 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-01 01:14:19 PM
so, is this like veganism?

since everyone knows the only reason someone says they're vegan is to mask their anorexia.
 
2013-02-01 01:14:24 PM
imgs.xkcd.com

Really?  This many comments to get to this?
 
2013-02-01 01:14:59 PM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-01 01:15:15 PM

notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?


Is that not allowed?
 
2013-02-01 01:16:53 PM
She looks about 10 years older than she actually is.

Probably pleasant enough for coffee and maybe dinner, but I already sense she has more issues than Allied Moving Company can provide trucks to relocate.

Pass.
 
2013-02-01 01:18:52 PM
Of course she's looking for a guy.  She needs someone to support her and lowlife she's banging on the side.
 
2013-02-01 01:19:18 PM

aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?


Men have the higher sex drive so it's a pretty stupid and selfish thing to search out a man for all the perks of a romantic relationship without the sex.
 
2013-02-01 01:19:49 PM
I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.
 
2013-02-01 01:22:20 PM

brap: My aunt worked for AVEN, and rose to the top quickly, as she was incredibly successful at not selling cosmetics.  She was so frigid we used to set our beers on her to keep them chilled.


I mistakenly went to the AVEN Awards one year, and was sorely disappointed...
 
2013-02-01 01:23:28 PM

bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FOREHEAD


/ENGLISH
 
2013-02-01 01:25:22 PM
She needs to get off her high horse and just buy some cats.
 
2013-02-01 01:26:06 PM
Ew.  I would never date a vegan.
 
2013-02-01 01:27:04 PM

aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?


If it's completely asexual, why does she care what sex her partner is?  Honestly, why would it matter?
 
2013-02-01 01:27:18 PM

vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?


I think there's a term for coercing/forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to.  Give me a few minutes.  I'll think of it.
 
2013-02-01 01:27:32 PM

Cyno01: [img2.owned.com image 516x575]


Damn, only reason I came into the thread
 
2013-02-01 01:28:26 PM
Held up pretty good for 49. Not too bad. Wait what? 39? Ok, well she's showing her age a bit. Still, she's British.

29??!!  No no no no no . That must be a typo.
 
2013-02-01 01:28:28 PM
Find a few cats and some friends.
 
2013-02-01 01:28:49 PM

Erix: aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?

If it's completely asexual, why does she care what sex her partner is?  Honestly, why would it matter?


If that's her preference, is that not allowed?
 
2013-02-01 01:31:06 PM

Crackers Are a Family Food: vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?

I think there's a term for coercing/forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to.  Give me a few minutes.  I'll think of it.


Nice try, but "(not getting) off while having sex" is not the definition of rape. I doubt anyone here is truly suggesting anyone force themselves upon this woman sexually. We're just saying she should lighten up and choose (consent) to compromise.
 
2013-02-01 01:31:22 PM

aerojockey: Erix: aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?

If it's completely asexual, why does she care what sex her partner is?  Honestly, why would it matter?

If that's her preference, is that not allowed?


No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down.  I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.
 
2013-02-01 01:32:06 PM
I am looking for a financially-stable woman who will accept my desire to lay around the house and live off her paycheck , but do I get any sympathy?
 
2013-02-01 01:32:20 PM

Lumpmoose: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

//  She never expressed any reason or desire to associate with any human, much less a man.

Many asexuals still want a companion or life partner.  As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea.


Indeed, this was my thought as well. If she just wants non-sexual companionship with nothing more than sitting close on the sofa watching nature documentaries, what does it matter the gender of the housemate/friend?
 
2013-02-01 01:33:07 PM
If she is asexual because she has no desire, then that is a no brainer.  But if she is resisting sexual urges for some delusional reason, it will cause a lot of crazy.
 
2013-02-01 01:36:21 PM

aerojockey: If that's her preference, is that not allowed?


This is no longer about her preference, its about her honesty.  She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.

And I want a threesome with two emma watson clones.  Its good to want things.
 
2013-02-01 01:37:24 PM

cig-mkr: cgraves67: I have to wonder why a penis is required when she has no intention of putting it to good use.

Good point, wouldn't she get along better with another woman, after all women would share the same interest better then with a man.


Perhaps she has more typical male interests. Or just enjoys being with someone with a different spectrum of interests.
 
2013-02-01 01:37:43 PM

vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.


Not sure how you couldn't have "gotten it" if you read TFA, but I'll try to explain.  Sex for this woman is not just something she doesn't want to do, but something which actively repulses her.

Would you, for instance, allow your partner to rub dogshiat in your face, if it "met their needs"?  Likely not, as for most people, having dogshiat rubbed in their face would be disgusting.  That's what sex is to her - something as enjoyable as having dogshiat rubbed in one's face.  Now do you get it?
 
2013-02-01 01:38:33 PM

MrBallou: At least she's telling the guy the truth before marriage, instead of letting him find out afterward.

/still bitter


Oh, if me and her got married, she'd be phuqin, I tell ya. That would be one wore out asexual snatch.

/back to my mom's basement.
 
2013-02-01 01:39:15 PM
Does the no sex thing apply only to sex with her? Because I could be down with that, as long as we got along and I could sex up other ladies without getting in trouble...
 
2013-02-01 01:40:01 PM

Erix: No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down. I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.


You're taking a label too seriously.  "Asexual" is just a word.  People are what they are, and there are not enough words to describe every combination.

Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"
 
2013-02-01 01:41:15 PM
[bigbookofbritishsmiles.jpg]
 
2013-02-01 01:41:45 PM
Jebus woman! I'm already not having sex with you and now you're looking for someone else to not have sex with. Some women want the world.
 
2013-02-01 01:43:00 PM

orclover: This is no longer about her preference, its about her honesty. She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.


So gay people should stop being gay because there's far, far more straight people in the world, and their changes of finding a partner are a lot greater if they're straight.

AMIRITE?
 
2013-02-01 01:43:43 PM
now, THAT, is some "strange"./+italics
 
2013-02-01 01:44:53 PM

rev. dave: If she is asexual because she has no desire, then that is a no brainer.  But if she is resisting sexual urges for some delusional reason, it will cause a lot of crazy.


Maybe it's due to Jesus.  Jesus was clearly asexual.
 
2013-02-01 01:45:50 PM

aerojockey: Erix: No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down. I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.

You're taking a label too seriously.  "Asexual" is just a word.  People are what they are, and there are not enough words to describe every combination.

Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"


Gotcha.  Any attempt at understanding through discourse is a display of bigoted thinking.  Thanks for your assistance.
 
2013-02-01 01:46:11 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Zarquon's Flat Tire: Asexual vegan.

Yeah lady, that's a tall order. Someone could enjoy that relationship, I'm sure. Just not me nor anyone I know.

[t2.gstatic.com image 225x225]

t2.gstatic.com

I'm pretty sure Morrissey would want some penis eventually, and as such would find the woman, asexual vegan or otherwise, to be unsatisfactory.
 
2013-02-01 01:49:09 PM

cgraves67: I have to wonder why a penis is required when she has no intention of putting it to good use.


Personality, maybe.

Also, as I understand it, there's more than one kind of asexuality.  There are asexuals who still want romance (and may be heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual as far as which sex they would get romantic with) but no sex, and there are asexuals who do not feel any sort of romantic attraction towards anyone.  If she's interested in cuddling, then I suppose she's the former.

I don't really know.  I don't understand asexuality.  But then, I don't really get monosexuality, either, and that's very common.

There are webpages and Wikipedia articles out there if you would like to know more.
 
zeg
2013-02-01 01:50:15 PM
Sheesh folks, it's not like the ONLY reason to choose one gender or the other as a preferred partner is for the sex. Men and women are different in many ways, and just because you're not interested in the sex doesn't mean you don't have any other basis to decide you'd rather partner with one gender or the other. Heck, just because she doesn't want to have sexual intercourse, she's not necessarily not attracted to men, she just doesn't want to boink 'em.

Also, it's been pointed out above, but I'll reinforce it a bit. Some people actively do not like sex. She is apparently one of these people. It's unpleasant for her, and she does not want to do it again. So she's doing the most reasonable thing she could possibly do by being up front and honest with potential partners. Yes, that is an unusual request in our society, but would it be better if she set herself up for a long-term failed relationship because either or both sides got frustrated with the situation?
 
2013-02-01 01:50:37 PM

hbk72777: bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FOREHEAD

/

BRITISH

FTFY. Remember, English if it's good, British if it's bad.
 
2013-02-01 01:54:39 PM
So why not give up the booty now and then and just get a man the old fashioned way?
 
2013-02-01 01:56:44 PM

CheekyMonkey: vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.

Not sure how you couldn't have "gotten it" if you read TFA, but I'll try to explain.  Sex for this woman is not just something she doesn't want to do, but something which actively repulses her.

Would you, for instance, allow your partner to rub dogshiat in your face, if it "met their needs"?  Likely not, as for most people, having dogshiat rubbed in their face would be disgusting.  That's what sex is to her - something as enjoyable as having dogshiat rubbed in one's face.  Now do you get it?


Somewhere out there is a fetish partner for everyone.  But depending on the fetish, the pool of partners could be very very small.  If my wife could only achieve orgasms if I was actually on fire and howling klingon obscenities, I....honestly would be hard pressed to fulfill those needs.  But we would just have to find a way to make it happen, hopefully in a fireproof room.  Thats a relationship.  If you have enough basis to maintain a relationship then you help each other through the crap that is your differences or the relationship may not be worth it, but if it is, you do.  A great relationship can see you doing crap you never thought of doing, simply to make the other person happy and maintain the relationship and keep it moving onward.

This woman in the article.  She can have sex.  Unless she's a ken doll down there, shes capable of it, physically.  Mentally the idea may be anathema to her.  If she found the perfect partner in all other aspects, she may be able to get through the hell of having some person climb on top of her and grunt sweatily for a few hours a day as an acceptable trade for maintaining a relationship that is otherwise unbelievably awesome.  As examples see most marriages in the last few thousand years.  Or she may get lucky and find the perfect asexual partner, if she's lucky.  I wish her happy hunting and good luck, she will need it as much as anybody else does in this farked up world.

/happily married to a anime geek
//we rutt like rabid crack addled elk during a spring that never ends.
 
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