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(Daily Mail)   "A sexual 29-year-old is looking for a man." "Asexual 29-year-old is looking for a man." The difference a space can make   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 364
    More: Interesting, education network  
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21946 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 11:59 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-01 10:59:16 AM  
I could be asexual with her.
 
2013-02-01 11:02:58 AM  
Since her article for the Mail, Lisa said she's had really positive response from AVEN [the Asexual Visibility and Education Network].

There, you found the right folks.  Now run from the media and their infantile, exploitative perspective on sex and never look back.
 
2013-02-01 11:07:23 AM  
My aunt worked for AVEN, and rose to the top quickly, as she was incredibly successful at not selling cosmetics.  She was so frigid we used to set our beers on her to keep them chilled.
 
2013-02-01 11:10:11 AM  
Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

//  She never expressed any reason or desire to associate with any human, much less a man.
 
2013-02-01 11:12:31 AM  
At least she's telling the guy the truth before marriage, instead of letting him find out afterward.

/still bitter
 
2013-02-01 11:16:15 AM  

notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

//  She never expressed any reason or desire to associate with any human, much less a man.


Many asexuals still want a companion or life partner.  As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea.
 
2013-02-01 11:24:39 AM  
Q: Is she willing to support me while I sit around the house all day typing on fark?
 
2013-02-01 11:42:50 AM  
Does she require him not to have sex too, or just not to have sex with her? If she's okay with him stepping out for physical contact, I'm sure there are people amenable to that kind of arrangement.
 
2013-02-01 11:46:26 AM  
How does your skin get wrecked in England when there isn't any sun?
 
2013-02-01 11:52:27 AM  
When I was on OK Cupid I would occasionally run across young ladies that described themselves as "asexual".

Good luck to them.
 
2013-02-01 12:00:28 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH
 
2013-02-01 12:03:23 PM  
Not gonna be a problem
 
2013-02-01 12:03:52 PM  

brap: My aunt worked for AVEN, and rose to the top quickly, as she was incredibly successful at not selling cosmetics.  She was so frigid we used to set our beers on her to keep them chilled.


Oh you.
 
2013-02-01 12:04:14 PM  

FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH


/FOREHEAD
 
2013-02-01 12:04:14 PM  
Wonder if she has tried anal?
 
2013-02-01 12:04:35 PM  
That's a rough 29 years.
 
2013-02-01 12:05:43 PM  
Bsmart. Use Abag ...
 
2013-02-01 12:06:23 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-01 12:07:30 PM  
I have to wonder why a penis is required when she has no intention of putting it to good use.
 
2013-02-01 12:07:33 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk


upload.wikimedia.org

Possible partner?

/the teethy guy, not the dog.
 
2013-02-01 12:07:34 PM  
That's a hard 29 right there.

Lumpmoose: Many asexuals still want a companion or life partner.  As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea.


That is what has always confused me.  So you get a heterosexual partner and live out some kind weird domestic lifestyle without sex or kids (unless you adopt) and all that.  Why not just settle into a college esque roommate style thing?  It seems much more efficient and less problematic if you decide you want to jack it to some lesbian poor or go pick someone at the bar because the urge has struck.
 
2013-02-01 12:07:44 PM  

bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FOREHEAD


FIVEHEAD
 
2013-02-01 12:08:51 PM  
Sorry, seeing 'vegan' strapped on the end there is a deal killer.
 
2013-02-01 12:08:55 PM  

bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FOREFIVEHEAD

 
2013-02-01 12:09:16 PM  
Asexual (and demi) men/women aren't that rare. Most don't advertise it though.

She's just an attention whore.
 
2013-02-01 12:09:36 PM  
At least she still maintains her hoo-ha ...
 s17.postimage.org
 
2013-02-01 12:09:37 PM  
/shakes tiny forehead at Hack Patooey
 
2013-02-01 12:09:44 PM  
Asexual vegan.

Yeah lady, that's a tall order. Someone could enjoy that relationship, I'm sure. Just not me nor anyone I know.
 
2013-02-01 12:10:10 PM  

MrBallou: At least she's telling the guy the truth before marriage, instead of letting him find out afterward.

/still bitter


This
 
2013-02-01 12:11:10 PM  

ha-ha-guy: So you get a heterosexual partner and live out some kind weird domestic lifestyle without sex or kids (unless you adopt) and all that.  Why not just settle into a college esque roommate style thing?  It seems much more efficient and less problematic if you decide you want to jack it to some lesbian poor or go pick someone at the bar because the urge has struck.


Doesn't mean there's no romance--just no farking.
 
2013-02-01 12:11:19 PM  
akroot313.andrewkeir313.netdna-cdn.com

Space, the final frontier...
 
2013-02-01 12:11:39 PM  

cgraves67: I have to wonder why a penis is required when she has no intention of putting it to good use.


Good point, wouldn't she get along better with another woman, after all women would share the same interest better then with a man.
 
2013-02-01 12:12:43 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
Why the long face?
 
2013-02-01 12:12:43 PM  
She would make a decent beard for some closeted conservative politician
 
2013-02-01 12:12:55 PM  
She should just become a nun since she is going to live a life getting none
 
2013-02-01 12:13:12 PM  
bet she has sharp knees too.. she looks kinda pointy all over... wouldnt be a comfortable ride
 
2013-02-01 12:13:18 PM  

FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH


Man, that's a rough 29.
 
2013-02-01 12:13:21 PM  
I willing to not have sex with her.
 
2013-02-01 12:13:51 PM  
Asexual relationship? It's called marriage.
 
2013-02-01 12:14:08 PM  

notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

//  She never expressed any reason or desire to associate with any human, much less a man.



Ive seen this in other asexual threads on Fark over the years, there are a few asexual Farkers. Some asexual people are actually sexually attracted to others, to the point that they fantasize about others, but it appears the actual physical act of sex mortifies them. I get the feeling some of these people are scared of their self image and what others might think about their body, rather than a biological absence of sex drive.

Im sure there are plenty of asexuals who just arent wired to like sex, but there are numerous self identifying asexuals who actually do get sexual urges, but cant bring themselves to act on them for one reason or another.
 
2013-02-01 12:14:08 PM  

ha-ha-guy: if you decide you want to jack it to some lesbian poor or go pick someone at the bar because the urge has struck.


I'm always looking for porn featuring poor lesbians. They're the bestest cuz they'll do anything for money.
 
2013-02-01 12:14:33 PM  
There's no way she's even as young as 39, much less 29.
 
2013-02-01 12:15:01 PM  
simpsonswiki.net
Sympathises. Looking for Amanda Hugginkiss.
 
2013-02-01 12:15:27 PM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: Asexual vegan.

Yeah lady, that's a tall order. Someone could enjoy that relationship, I'm sure. Just not me nor anyone I know.


That's why she needs a world wide media advertisement. So she can find the 2-3 people who could live with that and choose amongst them.
 
2013-02-01 12:17:13 PM  
Make sure she doesn't run into Raoul Mendoza.

/or watch Nuns and Nazis
 
2013-02-01 12:17:25 PM  

jonjr215: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]
Why the long face?


DEFINATELY a 4 1/2 head.

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-02-01 12:17:25 PM  
Not sure what that story was about but something caught my eye...i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-02-01 12:18:45 PM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: Asexual vegan.

Yeah lady, that's a tall order. Someone could enjoy that relationship, I'm sure. Just not me nor anyone I know.


t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-01 12:18:53 PM  
Speaking of punctuation, ask Dan Marino the difference a period can make.
 
2013-02-01 12:19:16 PM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: Asexual vegan.

Yeah lady, that's a tall order. Someone could enjoy that relationship, I'm sure. Just not me nor anyone I know.


You can't eat meat, you can't fark. fark that. I gotta have some kind of flesh.
 
2013-02-01 12:19:33 PM  

D_Evans45: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

//  She never expressed any reason or desire to associate with any human, much less a man.


Ive seen this in other asexual threads on Fark over the years, there are a few asexual Farkers. Some asexual people are actually sexually attracted to others, to the point that they fantasize about others, but it appears the actual physical act of sex mortifies them. I get the feeling some of these people are scared of their self image and what others might think about their body, rather than a biological absence of sex drive.

Im sure there are plenty of asexuals who just arent wired to like sex, but there are numerous self identifying asexuals who actually do get sexual urges, but cant bring themselves to act on them for one reason or another.


That would be called body image problem, not being asexual.  Asexual is not having those urges in the first place.
 
2013-02-01 12:19:39 PM  
I am at a loss... So kissing and toucking ok but no actual sex or are there "degrees" of being Asexual?
 
2013-02-01 12:19:54 PM  
That sounds like fun, but it's not.
 
2013-02-01 12:20:23 PM  
STONE HER!
 
2013-02-01 12:23:11 PM  

FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH


farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2013-02-01 12:23:37 PM  

monoski: She would make a decent beard for some closeted conservative politician


Apparently, Tom Cruise is in the running for the position.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJdMDvjfyQ0
 
2013-02-01 12:24:10 PM  

socoloco: You can't eat meat, you can't fark. fark that. I gotta have some kind of flesh.


She might as well chop my balls off and dress me like one of her favorite dolls at that point.

Actually, who am I kidding, I let most girls do that to me anyway.

/pathetic
 
2013-02-01 12:25:04 PM  
Lumpmoose: "As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea. "

If you're making a purely practical decision, "lower risk of public hassle; more legal benefits with fewer hoops; less stress from the family" would be expected to tilt things in favor of an opposite-sex partner in the acceptable-for-dating age range.
 
2013-02-01 12:25:51 PM  
Why?
 
2013-02-01 12:26:15 PM  
Just start buying cats lady.
 
2013-02-01 12:26:39 PM  
Anthracite: "are there "degrees" of being Asexual?"

There are degrees of *everything*.
There ain't a whole lot in this universe that fit neatly into buckets.

/ blame quantum dynamics
 
2013-02-01 12:27:32 PM  
She just hasn't had the right man to give her the Big O yet, you know leave her there shaking like a bowl of jello, curled up in a fetal position and whimpering like a puppy in a huge wet spot.
/ don't look at me, I'm not the guy for the job
 
2013-02-01 12:28:41 PM  
I was wondering what Ruth Fisher has been up to lately...
 
2013-02-01 12:28:56 PM  
Asexual vegan? This lady needs to get laid.
 
2013-02-01 12:30:36 PM  
Oh Subby, I did what you see there.
 
2013-02-01 12:31:44 PM  
I guess if you're going to live as an asexual vegan female, it helps to look like a least-effort M-to-F trans.  Also, notice that her neck is about 4 inches longer than the woman next to her? Reminds me of CGI Smegol.

I suppose it's pithy to poke fun at her looks and choices, lots of people go through life without knowing what they really want.  She looks really happy too.
 
2013-02-01 12:32:20 PM  
I just can't understand how anyone, men or women who don't snap one out everyonceinawhile.
 
2013-02-01 12:33:25 PM  
I'd be okay with that as long as she didn't nag me or care if I farked other women.
 
2013-02-01 12:36:34 PM  
<i>Asexual vegan</i>

Does the woman not own a cucumber?

At least she's up front about not farking. Saved a lot of guys a lot of confusion and frustration. Except for the eternally optimistic but if you're going to aim for the unattainable, try shooting your load a bit higher.
 
2013-02-01 12:37:58 PM  

The_Fuzz: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]


[upload.wikimedia.org image 375x291]

Possible partner?

/the teethy guy, not the dog.


And now  I'masexual too.
 
2013-02-01 12:38:04 PM  

StaleCoffee: <i>Asexual vegan</i>

Does the woman not own a cucumber?

At least she's up front about not farking. Saved a lot of guys a lot of confusion and frustration. Except for the eternally optimistic but if you're going to aim for the unattainable, try shooting your load a bit higher.


Well, get me a tissue, made a mess of myself there trying to do it manually.
 
2013-02-01 12:38:30 PM  
Sounds like my wife.

/take her, please
 
2013-02-01 12:38:40 PM  
i admire her up-front honesty. As opposed to having some coont you date, live with and marry decide to turn OFF the ON switch to 'You get none, son' 10 years ago (in a 19 yr marriage). But I'm not bitter.

/ shoot me now, please
 
2013-02-01 12:38:40 PM  

farm machine: Speaking of punctuation, ask Dan Marino the difference a period can make.


Let's not forget about punctuation!

"We're going out to eat Grandma!"
"We're going out to eat, Grandma!"
 
2013-02-01 12:39:09 PM  

Anthracite: I am at a loss... So kissing and toucking ok but no actual sex or are there "degrees" of being Asexual?


There's a whole spectrum, and also a difference between sexual and romantic orientations.  For example, I'm grey-A and  homoromantic, and I'm in a very fulfilling emotional/intellectual relationship with a wonderful lady that does also involve some kisses and a fair deal of cuddling.

/but because ace relationships tend to confuse a lot of people, I usually just describe myself as "lesbian" in casual conversation.
 
2013-02-01 12:39:57 PM  

JesusJuice: I'd be okay with that as long as she didn't nag me or care if I farked other women.


Dreamer
 
2013-02-01 12:40:03 PM  
I'll take the psychologist.
 
2013-02-01 12:40:35 PM  
Does anyone else see a TV show in the works?

Asexual vegan woman hooks up with oversexed carnivore man. Oh, think of the wacky hi-jinks!
 
2013-02-01 12:45:32 PM  
Id teach her to like sex.
 
2013-02-01 12:46:00 PM  
Why is it that women have a compelling need to make other people as miserable as they are?
 
2013-02-01 12:46:00 PM  
www.greenmeadowscarecenter.com

I think we may have found her guy.
 
2013-02-01 12:48:31 PM  
It's not like there aren't male chastity fetishists that would not only actually get off on not having sex, but even agree to being locked up so they couldn't even if they found another outlet.
Just go out and find someone complementarity warped lady,    It's not hard.
um, so to speak.

/seems to me a true asexual would be more meh about it.   Similar to  "back hurt?  OK, I'll rub it for you because I love you, not because I enjoy rubbing backs"  But she's actually put off by the idea of sex.  That's more anti- than a-.

 i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-01 12:49:57 PM  
I can't imagine she'd mind the man having sex with others.
 
2013-02-01 12:51:20 PM  

HenryFnord: Sorry, seeing 'vegan' strapped on the end there is a deal killer.


It was pretty obvious though wasn't it?  Crazy, Vegan.... they are pretty interchangeable.

/  Braces for the Vegans going all crazy on me.
 
2013-02-01 12:51:32 PM  

WhippingBoy: Why is it that women have a compelling need to make other people as miserable as they are?


They base their lives on one core principle:

"We're not happy until you're not happy."
 
2013-02-01 12:52:00 PM  

Rapmaster2000: How does your skin get wrecked in England when there isn't any sun?


Ultra-violet light pierces clouds and fog, so you risk a sun burn, even on overcast days, if you spend too much time outdoors. Also, wind, stress, and smoking can get you even in the dark of night. If you work outdoors you should wear skin protection even if the weather is hazy or overcast.

The British are also known for their delicate, thin, pale skin so it doesn't take a Hell of an exposure to damage their skin over time. While some age gracefuly, turning as aristocratic and pale as Dracula, others turn into gruesome mummies by the age of thirty or forty. England, a land of many contrasts.
 
2013-02-01 12:54:07 PM  
Found her a guy
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-01 12:55:18 PM  

WhippingBoy: Why is it that women have a compelling need to make other people as miserable as they are?


The rule of thumb was broken years ago and we've never recovered
 
2013-02-01 12:55:21 PM  
img2.owned.com
 
2013-02-01 12:55:37 PM  

MrBallou: JesusJuice: I'd be okay with that as long as she didn't nag me or care if I farked other women.

Dreamer


You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not
 
2013-02-01 12:56:56 PM  

blatz514: Not sure what that story was about but something caught my eye...[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x699]


My nongod, that is one fine example of the female form.
 
2013-02-01 12:57:03 PM  
Maybe I'm just being as stupid as people were about homosexuality 50 years ago, but I really think asexuality must involve some sort of psychological trauma or nerve damage, because sex is just objectively great.
 
2013-02-01 12:57:49 PM  

MrBallou: JesusJuice: I'd be okay with that as long as she didn't nag me or care if I farked other women.

Dreamer


Marriage is about compromise.  I'll agree not to have sex with her if she'll agree to be my domestic slave.
 
2013-02-01 12:59:35 PM  
th00.deviantart.net

ROWR... Daddy Likey...
 
2013-02-01 12:59:49 PM  

brantgoose: Rapmaster2000: How does your skin get wrecked in England when there isn't any sun?

Ultra-violet light pierces clouds and fog, so you risk a sun burn, even on overcast days, if you spend too much time outdoors. Also, wind, stress, and smoking can get you even in the dark of night. If you work outdoors you should wear skin protection even if the weather is hazy or overcast.

The British are also known for their delicate, thin, pale skin so it doesn't take a Hell of an exposure to damage their skin over time. While some age gracefuly, turning as aristocratic and pale as Dracula, others turn into gruesome mummies by the age of thirty or forty. England, a land of many contrasts.


Nice.
 
2013-02-01 12:59:51 PM  
Good solution: find another asexual to marry.

Usual solution: find someone and force them to join you in asexuality.
 
2013-02-01 01:00:44 PM  

Cyno01: [img2.owned.com image 516x575]


Image cracks me up every time.  This chick is damaged goods, stay away, attempt no landing there.  Somebody hook her up with sheldon cooper.
 
2013-02-01 01:02:49 PM  

jonjr215: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]
Why the long face?


*High Fivehead!*
 
2013-02-01 01:03:07 PM  
Aw crap. I think I'm asexual.

/my lawn
//off
//hahaha...lawn. It can mean two things.
 
2013-02-01 01:03:29 PM  
My Uncle Jamal says he is trisexual... because he will try anything sexual.
 
2013-02-01 01:04:58 PM  
It's like the difference between Googling cream pie and creampie.

/Don't look-up the latter term at work.
 
2013-02-01 01:06:17 PM  

ChipNASA: jonjr215: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]
Why the long face?

DEFINATELY a 4 1/2 head.

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]


Not to mention the...

straightfromthea.com
 
2013-02-01 01:06:59 PM  

Strix occidentalis: Anthracite: I am at a loss... So kissing and toucking ok but no actual sex or are there "degrees" of being Asexual?

There's a whole spectrum, and also a difference between sexual and romantic orientations.  For example, I'm grey-A and  homoromantic, and I'm in a very fulfilling emotional/intellectual relationship with a wonderful lady that does also involve some kisses and a fair deal of cuddling.

/but because ace relationships tend to confuse a lot of people, I usually just describe myself as "lesbian" in casual conversation.


Thanks for the explanation. I am constantly learning something from this site everyday :)
 
2013-02-01 01:08:32 PM  

blatz514: Not sure what that story was about but something caught my eye...[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x699]


Nope. I'm not asexual.
 
2013-02-01 01:10:28 PM  
I can imagine why she's asexual. With looks like that, her relationship history has not likely included any Prince Charmings. Add to that a sprinkle of childhood abuse (probably) and the superiority complex of a vegan, and you've got the perfect recipe for a frigid biatch.

/Hetero-romantic, myself.
//No aversion to sex, it's just not in my priorities.
 
2013-02-01 01:11:32 PM  
Without reading the thread, I am guessing that a lot of the same people who accept all the myriad of sexual preferences with LGBT people, are now being bigoted when confronted with asexuality.

/checks thread
//yep
 
2013-02-01 01:12:20 PM  

WhippingBoy: Why is it that women have a compelling need to make other people as miserable as they are?


Misery loves company?
 
2013-02-01 01:12:29 PM  

Pert: My Uncle Jamal says he is trisexual... because he will try anything sexual.


He said that to you? Eww.
 
2013-02-01 01:13:15 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-01 01:14:19 PM  
so, is this like veganism?

since everyone knows the only reason someone says they're vegan is to mask their anorexia.
 
2013-02-01 01:14:24 PM  
imgs.xkcd.com

Really?  This many comments to get to this?
 
2013-02-01 01:14:59 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-01 01:15:15 PM  

notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?


Is that not allowed?
 
2013-02-01 01:16:53 PM  
She looks about 10 years older than she actually is.

Probably pleasant enough for coffee and maybe dinner, but I already sense she has more issues than Allied Moving Company can provide trucks to relocate.

Pass.
 
2013-02-01 01:18:52 PM  
Of course she's looking for a guy.  She needs someone to support her and lowlife she's banging on the side.
 
2013-02-01 01:19:18 PM  

aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?


Men have the higher sex drive so it's a pretty stupid and selfish thing to search out a man for all the perks of a romantic relationship without the sex.
 
2013-02-01 01:19:49 PM  
I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.
 
2013-02-01 01:22:20 PM  

brap: My aunt worked for AVEN, and rose to the top quickly, as she was incredibly successful at not selling cosmetics.  She was so frigid we used to set our beers on her to keep them chilled.


I mistakenly went to the AVEN Awards one year, and was sorely disappointed...
 
2013-02-01 01:23:28 PM  

bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FOREHEAD


/ENGLISH
 
2013-02-01 01:25:22 PM  
She needs to get off her high horse and just buy some cats.
 
2013-02-01 01:26:06 PM  
Ew.  I would never date a vegan.
 
2013-02-01 01:27:04 PM  

aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?


If it's completely asexual, why does she care what sex her partner is?  Honestly, why would it matter?
 
2013-02-01 01:27:18 PM  

vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?


I think there's a term for coercing/forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to.  Give me a few minutes.  I'll think of it.
 
2013-02-01 01:27:32 PM  

Cyno01: [img2.owned.com image 516x575]


Damn, only reason I came into the thread
 
2013-02-01 01:28:26 PM  
Held up pretty good for 49. Not too bad. Wait what? 39? Ok, well she's showing her age a bit. Still, she's British.

29??!!  No no no no no . That must be a typo.
 
2013-02-01 01:28:28 PM  
Find a few cats and some friends.
 
2013-02-01 01:28:49 PM  

Erix: aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?

If it's completely asexual, why does she care what sex her partner is?  Honestly, why would it matter?


If that's her preference, is that not allowed?
 
2013-02-01 01:31:06 PM  

Crackers Are a Family Food: vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?

I think there's a term for coercing/forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to.  Give me a few minutes.  I'll think of it.


Nice try, but "(not getting) off while having sex" is not the definition of rape. I doubt anyone here is truly suggesting anyone force themselves upon this woman sexually. We're just saying she should lighten up and choose (consent) to compromise.
 
2013-02-01 01:31:22 PM  

aerojockey: Erix: aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?

If it's completely asexual, why does she care what sex her partner is?  Honestly, why would it matter?

If that's her preference, is that not allowed?


No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down.  I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.
 
2013-02-01 01:32:06 PM  
I am looking for a financially-stable woman who will accept my desire to lay around the house and live off her paycheck , but do I get any sympathy?
 
2013-02-01 01:32:20 PM  

Lumpmoose: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

//  She never expressed any reason or desire to associate with any human, much less a man.

Many asexuals still want a companion or life partner.  As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea.


Indeed, this was my thought as well. If she just wants non-sexual companionship with nothing more than sitting close on the sofa watching nature documentaries, what does it matter the gender of the housemate/friend?
 
2013-02-01 01:33:07 PM  
If she is asexual because she has no desire, then that is a no brainer.  But if she is resisting sexual urges for some delusional reason, it will cause a lot of crazy.
 
2013-02-01 01:36:21 PM  

aerojockey: If that's her preference, is that not allowed?


This is no longer about her preference, its about her honesty.  She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.

And I want a threesome with two emma watson clones.  Its good to want things.
 
2013-02-01 01:37:24 PM  

cig-mkr: cgraves67: I have to wonder why a penis is required when she has no intention of putting it to good use.

Good point, wouldn't she get along better with another woman, after all women would share the same interest better then with a man.


Perhaps she has more typical male interests. Or just enjoys being with someone with a different spectrum of interests.
 
2013-02-01 01:37:43 PM  

vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.


Not sure how you couldn't have "gotten it" if you read TFA, but I'll try to explain.  Sex for this woman is not just something she doesn't want to do, but something which actively repulses her.

Would you, for instance, allow your partner to rub dogshiat in your face, if it "met their needs"?  Likely not, as for most people, having dogshiat rubbed in their face would be disgusting.  That's what sex is to her - something as enjoyable as having dogshiat rubbed in one's face.  Now do you get it?
 
2013-02-01 01:38:33 PM  

MrBallou: At least she's telling the guy the truth before marriage, instead of letting him find out afterward.

/still bitter


Oh, if me and her got married, she'd be phuqin, I tell ya. That would be one wore out asexual snatch.

/back to my mom's basement.
 
2013-02-01 01:39:15 PM  
Does the no sex thing apply only to sex with her? Because I could be down with that, as long as we got along and I could sex up other ladies without getting in trouble...
 
2013-02-01 01:40:01 PM  

Erix: No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down. I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.


You're taking a label too seriously.  "Asexual" is just a word.  People are what they are, and there are not enough words to describe every combination.

Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"
 
2013-02-01 01:41:15 PM  
[bigbookofbritishsmiles.jpg]
 
2013-02-01 01:41:45 PM  
Jebus woman! I'm already not having sex with you and now you're looking for someone else to not have sex with. Some women want the world.
 
2013-02-01 01:43:00 PM  

orclover: This is no longer about her preference, its about her honesty. She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.


So gay people should stop being gay because there's far, far more straight people in the world, and their changes of finding a partner are a lot greater if they're straight.

AMIRITE?
 
2013-02-01 01:43:43 PM  
now, THAT, is some "strange"./+italics
 
2013-02-01 01:44:53 PM  

rev. dave: If she is asexual because she has no desire, then that is a no brainer.  But if she is resisting sexual urges for some delusional reason, it will cause a lot of crazy.


Maybe it's due to Jesus.  Jesus was clearly asexual.
 
2013-02-01 01:45:50 PM  

aerojockey: Erix: No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down. I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.

You're taking a label too seriously.  "Asexual" is just a word.  People are what they are, and there are not enough words to describe every combination.

Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"


Gotcha.  Any attempt at understanding through discourse is a display of bigoted thinking.  Thanks for your assistance.
 
2013-02-01 01:46:11 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: Zarquon's Flat Tire: Asexual vegan.

Yeah lady, that's a tall order. Someone could enjoy that relationship, I'm sure. Just not me nor anyone I know.

[t2.gstatic.com image 225x225]

t2.gstatic.com

I'm pretty sure Morrissey would want some penis eventually, and as such would find the woman, asexual vegan or otherwise, to be unsatisfactory.
 
2013-02-01 01:49:09 PM  

cgraves67: I have to wonder why a penis is required when she has no intention of putting it to good use.


Personality, maybe.

Also, as I understand it, there's more than one kind of asexuality.  There are asexuals who still want romance (and may be heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual as far as which sex they would get romantic with) but no sex, and there are asexuals who do not feel any sort of romantic attraction towards anyone.  If she's interested in cuddling, then I suppose she's the former.

I don't really know.  I don't understand asexuality.  But then, I don't really get monosexuality, either, and that's very common.

There are webpages and Wikipedia articles out there if you would like to know more.
 
zeg
2013-02-01 01:50:15 PM  
Sheesh folks, it's not like the ONLY reason to choose one gender or the other as a preferred partner is for the sex. Men and women are different in many ways, and just because you're not interested in the sex doesn't mean you don't have any other basis to decide you'd rather partner with one gender or the other. Heck, just because she doesn't want to have sexual intercourse, she's not necessarily not attracted to men, she just doesn't want to boink 'em.

Also, it's been pointed out above, but I'll reinforce it a bit. Some people actively do not like sex. She is apparently one of these people. It's unpleasant for her, and she does not want to do it again. So she's doing the most reasonable thing she could possibly do by being up front and honest with potential partners. Yes, that is an unusual request in our society, but would it be better if she set herself up for a long-term failed relationship because either or both sides got frustrated with the situation?
 
2013-02-01 01:50:37 PM  

hbk72777: bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FOREHEAD

/

BRITISH

FTFY. Remember, English if it's good, British if it's bad.
 
2013-02-01 01:54:39 PM  
So why not give up the booty now and then and just get a man the old fashioned way?
 
2013-02-01 01:56:44 PM  

CheekyMonkey: vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.

Not sure how you couldn't have "gotten it" if you read TFA, but I'll try to explain.  Sex for this woman is not just something she doesn't want to do, but something which actively repulses her.

Would you, for instance, allow your partner to rub dogshiat in your face, if it "met their needs"?  Likely not, as for most people, having dogshiat rubbed in their face would be disgusting.  That's what sex is to her - something as enjoyable as having dogshiat rubbed in one's face.  Now do you get it?


Somewhere out there is a fetish partner for everyone.  But depending on the fetish, the pool of partners could be very very small.  If my wife could only achieve orgasms if I was actually on fire and howling klingon obscenities, I....honestly would be hard pressed to fulfill those needs.  But we would just have to find a way to make it happen, hopefully in a fireproof room.  Thats a relationship.  If you have enough basis to maintain a relationship then you help each other through the crap that is your differences or the relationship may not be worth it, but if it is, you do.  A great relationship can see you doing crap you never thought of doing, simply to make the other person happy and maintain the relationship and keep it moving onward.

This woman in the article.  She can have sex.  Unless she's a ken doll down there, shes capable of it, physically.  Mentally the idea may be anathema to her.  If she found the perfect partner in all other aspects, she may be able to get through the hell of having some person climb on top of her and grunt sweatily for a few hours a day as an acceptable trade for maintaining a relationship that is otherwise unbelievably awesome.  As examples see most marriages in the last few thousand years.  Or she may get lucky and find the perfect asexual partner, if she's lucky.  I wish her happy hunting and good luck, she will need it as much as anybody else does in this farked up world.

/happily married to a anime geek
//we rutt like rabid crack addled elk during a spring that never ends.
 
2013-02-01 01:57:48 PM  

Erix: Gotcha. Any attempt at understanding through discourse is a display of bigoted thinking. Thanks for your assistance.


No, but questioning someone's sexuality because you don't think it belongs to a small set of categories that are acceptable and make sense to you, which is what you were doing, is.

I'll answer your question.  She is not what you mistakenly believe to be an asexual is.  "Asexual" means not interested in having sex.  That's it.  Is doens't refer, at all, to things like physical attraction, relationships, etc.  You are, incorrectly, taking it to mean a lot more than it means.
 
2013-02-01 01:58:07 PM  

walkerhound: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH


1.bp.blogspot.com
/Teeth
 
2013-02-01 01:58:25 PM  

aerojockey: Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"


If someone asked me that question I'd just say, "I don't, being gay doesn't mean you live in a pride parade."

Personally I find oversensitivity a little bigoted. Just because you're different means you're thin-skinned about curiosity?
 
2013-02-01 01:59:06 PM  

Erix: aerojockey: Erix: No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down. I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.

You're taking a label too seriously.  "Asexual" is just a word.  People are what they are, and there are not enough words to describe every combination.

Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"

Gotcha.  Any attempt at understanding through discourse is a display of bigoted thinking.  Thanks for your assistance.


aerojockey's just pissed because no one wants to have sex with him, so he's forced into asexuality.

Seriously, though, you might not get an answer to your question unless you ask the lass in the article.  She says she likes kissing and cuddling, just not the sex act itself.  Thus, she's got some sort of affinity for the opposite sex.  It can be based on whatever "normal" attraction is based on, and that part of her brain that links attraction to sexual desire is just wired differently.
 
2013-02-01 01:59:09 PM  
Maybe she just wants a man who can kill spiders and open pickle jars.
 
2013-02-01 02:01:49 PM  
God. All of these 'alternate' sexualities sound like people are trying too hard to make themselves seem unique and do so by damaging themselves and the people who have the misfortune of meeting. I fully believe that there is no such thing as asexual people (that aren't brain damaged in some way.) Sexuality is a core part of what makes us human and it's really a very simple thing. Everything else is just there to complicate it because people need to increasingly complicate EVERYTHING.

Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.
 
2013-02-01 02:02:54 PM  

Lumpmoose: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

//  She never expressed any reason or desire to associate with any human, much less a man.

Many asexuals still want a companion or life partner.  As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea.


You can develop romantic feelings for someone without necessarily having sexual feelings. I believe other cultures are a bit more comfortable with the concept but personally I get crushes on other girls but I have absolutely zero interest in anything sexual with women (considered it, would try it, very "meh" about it though).

It's possibly she develops romantic/emotionally intimate feelings for men more than women, but they never lead to sexual feelings.
 
2013-02-01 02:03:31 PM  

aerojockey: orclover: This is no longer about her preference, its about her honesty. She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.

So gay people should stop being gay because there's far, far more straight people in the world, and their changes of finding a partner are a lot greater if they're straight.

AMIRITE?


If she were gay I would assume her problems would be a lot simpler.

Wait, can you be gay and asexual?  How is that even possible?
 
2013-02-01 02:05:15 PM  
Oh, what a bonus.  She's a vegan.  That lady is probably all sorts of crazy.

I wouldn't date her for 1.0x106 dollars!
 
2013-02-01 02:05:24 PM  

orclover: CheekyMonkey: vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.

Not sure how you couldn't have "gotten it" if you read TFA, but I'll try to explain.  Sex for this woman is not just something she doesn't want to do, but something which actively repulses her.

Would you, for instance, allow your partner to rub dogshiat in your face, if it "met their needs"?  Likely not, as for most people, having dogshiat rubbed in their face would be disgusting.  That's what sex is to her - something as enjoyable as having dogshiat rubbed in one's face.  Now do you get it?

Somewhere out there is a fetish partner for everyone.  But depending on the fetish, the pool of partners could be very very small.  If my wife could only achieve orgasms if I was actually on fire and howling klingon obscenities, I....honestly would be hard pressed to fulfill those needs.  But we would just have to find a way to make it happen, hopefully in a fireproof room.  Thats a relationship.  If you have enough basis to maintain a relationship then you help each other through the crap that is your differences or the relationship may not be worth it, but if it is, you do.  A great relationship can see you doing crap you never thought of doing, simply to make the other person happy and maintain the relationship and keep it ...


I guess the question is, if your wife had disclosed her "combustion+Klingon obscenity" fetish at the start of your relationship, would you have continued to pursue her, or would you have said "well, that ain't for me" and looked for someone more your type?

It's easy to say, now that you're in a committed relationship with her, that you would try to accommodate her desires, but I'm not so sure that going into the relationship, without knowing her as well as you do now, that it would be so easy.
 
2013-02-01 02:05:55 PM  

orclover: Somewhere out there is a fetish partner for everyone. But depending on the fetish, the pool of partners could be very very small. If my wife could only achieve orgasms if I was actually on fire and howling klingon obscenities, I....honestly would be hard pressed to fulfill those needs. But we would just have to find a way to make it happen, hopefully in a fireproof room. Thats a relationship. If you have enough basis to maintain a relationship then you help each other through the crap that is your differences or the relationship may not be worth it, but if it is, you do.


I found the perfect woman in every way for me.  Oh, but one problem, she has a penis.  But I can get over it, right?  I can make it work.  I'm capable of it, physically.  RIGHT?

That's what you're asking asexuals to do.
 
2013-02-01 02:05:56 PM  

ringersol: Lumpmoose: "As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea. "

If you're making a purely practical decision, "lower risk of public hassle; more legal benefits with fewer hoops; less stress from the family" would be expected to tilt things in favor of an opposite-sex partner in the acceptable-for-dating age range.


I imagine it would depend on whether you're going to portray yourself to the world as part of a romantic couple or as just friends.  Again, based on her talking about cuddling, I see the relationship I think she's looking for as essentially a normal heterosexual romantic relationship in all ways except for actual sex.

.. which is to say you're right, to put it briefly.
 
2013-02-01 02:06:48 PM  

Basily Gourt: WhippingBoy: Why is it that women have a compelling need to make other people as miserable as they are?

They base their lives on one core principle:

"We're not happy until you're not happy."


No, that's te GOP moral legislative motto.
 
2013-02-01 02:07:02 PM  

cig-mkr: She just hasn't had the right man to give her the Big O yet, you know leave her there shaking like a bowl of jello, curled up in a fetal position and whimpering like a puppy in a huge wet spot.
/ don't look at me, I'm not the guy for the job


That would be a lot more funny if "corrective rape" weren't an actual thing that really happens.
 
2013-02-01 02:10:24 PM  

ciberido: walkerhound: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 250x350]
/Teeth


I'm gonna go ahead and put that on my "never ever" list.
 
2013-02-01 02:11:04 PM  

orclover: This woman in the article.  She can have sex.  Unless she's a ken doll down there, shes capable of it, physically.


"Capable of it" isn't that black and white.  Saw a girl for a while with vaginismus (near involuntary spasm... basically a "can't").  Which I was willing to help work through (therapy or whatever), but she didn't really see it as a problem (it wasn't a problem for her) or want to work through it. So, bye.

I wonder about that possibility when I hear 'I'm asexual', but the vegan in the article seemed to imply that she had had sex before and didn't like it very much.
 
2013-02-01 02:12:05 PM  

aerojockey: Erix: No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down. I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.

You're taking a label too seriously.  "Asexual" is just a word.  People are what they are, and there are not enough words to describe every combination.

Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"


I think the word you're looking for is ignorant. There isn't any malice or indignation in asking a genuine question.
 
2013-02-01 02:12:17 PM  

aerojockey: orclover: Somewhere out there is a fetish partner for everyone. But depending on the fetish, the pool of partners could be very very small. If my wife could only achieve orgasms if I was actually on fire and howling klingon obscenities, I....honestly would be hard pressed to fulfill those needs. But we would just have to find a way to make it happen, hopefully in a fireproof room. Thats a relationship. If you have enough basis to maintain a relationship then you help each other through the crap that is your differences or the relationship may not be worth it, but if it is, you do.

I found the perfect woman in every way for me.  Oh, but one problem, she has a penis.  But I can get over it, right?  I can make it work.  I'm capable of it, physically.  RIGHT?

That's what you're asking asexuals to do.


Incomparable argument. Assuming asexuality isn't bullshiat (it is,) then they would stick to other asexual people if they had any decency. A gay person might have a thing for a straight one (or vice versa,) but for the most part, they typically have the common courtesy of keeping it to themselves. Typically. There are Chasing Amy-like situations, sure, and drunk people in general tend to act stupid, but...

In the case of an asexual, a lot of them tend to pursue people who AREN'T asexual and expect them to bend to their will... because you'd do it if you love me, right? And you wouldn't fark anyone either, right?
 
2013-02-01 02:12:23 PM  
I'm sorry, when did Legolas from Lord of The Rings start dating men?
 
2013-02-01 02:14:46 PM  

aerojockey: Erix: Gotcha. Any attempt at understanding through discourse is a display of bigoted thinking. Thanks for your assistance.

No, but questioning someone's sexuality because you don't think it belongs to a small set of categories that are acceptable and make sense to you, which is what you were doing, is.

I'll answer your question.  She is not what you mistakenly believe to be an asexual is.  "Asexual" means not interested in having sex.  That's it.  Is doens't refer, at all, to things like physical attraction, relationships, etc.  You are, incorrectly, taking it to mean a lot more than it means.


Is that what I was doing? I didn't know that sexuality is such a taboo subject. Apparently we must accept and understand, but are not allowed to discuss or question to get there.
 
2013-02-01 02:14:57 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: God. All of these 'alternate' sexualities sound like people are trying too hard to make themselves seem unique and do so by damaging themselves and the people who have the misfortune of meeting. I fully believe that there is no such thing as asexual people (that aren't brain damaged in some way.) Sexuality is a core part of what makes us human and it's really a very simple thing. Everything else is just there to complicate it because people need to increasingly complicate EVERYTHING.

Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.


Meh.. 2/10. If you'd gotten to the thread earlier maybe it would work.
 
2013-02-01 02:14:59 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: God. All of these 'alternate' sexualities sound like people are trying too hard to make themselves seem unique and do so by damaging themselves and the people who have the misfortune of meeting. I fully believe that there is no such thing as asexual people (that aren't brain damaged in some way.) Sexuality is a core part of what makes us human and it's really a very simple thing. Everything else is just there to complicate it because people need to increasingly complicate EVERYTHING.

Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.


What you've written above is just as stupid as saying, "there's no such thing as being gay, it's a lifestyle choice".  It's the same goddamn thing - some people's brains are wired differently from the majority.  If you can fathom the existence of a subset of humans who are attracted to the same sex, why can you not accept a different subset whose sexual attraction "wiring" is different?
 
2013-02-01 02:15:31 PM  

CheekyMonkey: orclover: CheekyMonkey: vsavatar:

I guess the question is, if your wife had disclosed her "combustion+Klingon obscenity" fetish at the start of your relationship, would you have continued to pursue her, or would you have said "well, that ain't for me" and looked for someone more your type?

It's easy to say, now that you're in a committed relationship with her, that you would try to accommodate her desires, but I'm not so sure that going into the relationship, without knowing her as well as you do now, that it would be so easy.

Thats the discussion of how we as a society have evolved at least a little when it comes to growing into a relationship.  We all have stories of friends and relatives getting married, years or decades pass and then somebody finds out the other is gay/lesbian/klingon, relationship is over.  Communication.  If people dont communicate at the start of the relationship and share what their needs/desires are from the start, trainwreck will be the eventual outcome.  My wife and I have some pretty big differences.  Sure nothing as big as what we are discussing here but it would have to be a pretty big difference to stop a relationship that is otherwise really really well off.

Saying that however if my wife came up to me tomorrow and stated that she wants to stay married but demands that one of us get a sex change operation.....that could be a deal breaker.  I am merely a man.
 
2013-02-01 02:18:17 PM  

NobleHam: aerojockey: Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"

If someone asked me that question I'd just say, "I don't, being gay doesn't mean you live in a pride parade."

Personally I find oversensitivity a little bigoted. Just because you're different means you're thin-skinned about curiosity?


You know, it's not bigotry that's bothering me here (if the bigotry is minor things like insensitive or careless questions).  That happens, we all do it here and there, most people can deal with it.  The thing that rankles me is the hypocrisy.  People sit smugly on their swivel chairs thinking how wonderfully open-minded they are because they accept LGBT relationships in all their variations, but some other kind of sexuality pops up and they show the narrow-minded insensitivity that the anti-gay crowd exhibits.  They're not open-minded at all, they're as closed-minded to new possibilities as ever.  All they've done by accepting gays it to accommodate a few more variations in their "acceptable" category.

There are people who would never suggest you "suck it up and have sex with someone you'd be aghast at having sex with" to a gay person, but they have no problem suggesting exactly that to an an asexual.  That's my problem.
 
2013-02-01 02:18:52 PM  

dj_spanmaster: MrBallou: JesusJuice: I'd be okay with that as long as she didn't nag me or care if I farked other women.

Dreamer

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not


You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

/I hope someday you'll join us.
 
2013-02-01 02:20:03 PM  
Too ugly, too picky.
 
2013-02-01 02:23:07 PM  

aerojockey: You know, it's not bigotry that's bothering me here (if the bigotry is minor things like insensitive or careless questions). That happens, we all do it here and there, most people can deal with it. The thing that rankles me is the hypocrisy. People sit smugly on their swivel chairs thinking how wonderfully open-minded they are because they accept LGBT relationships in all their variations, but some other kind of sexuality pops up and they show the narrow-minded insensitivity that the anti-gay crowd exhibits. They're not open-minded at all, they're as closed-minded to new possibilities as ever. All they've done by accepting gays it to accommodate a few more variations in their "acceptable" category.



Really?  I thought it wast more like:
"Here's a sexuality you may not have encountered much before."
"Oh, really? How's that work?"
"Ignorant bigot!  How dare you question?"
 
2013-02-01 02:25:22 PM  

aerojockey: orclover: Somewhere out there is a fetish partner for everyone. But depending on the fetish, the pool of partners could be very very small. If my wife could only achieve orgasms if I was actually on fire and howling klingon obscenities, I....honestly would be hard pressed to fulfill those needs. But we would just have to find a way to make it happen, hopefully in a fireproof room. Thats a relationship. If you have enough basis to maintain a relationship then you help each other through the crap that is your differences or the relationship may not be worth it, but if it is, you do.

I found the perfect woman in every way for me.  Oh, but one problem, she has a penis.  But I can get over it, right?  I can make it work.  I'm capable of it, physically.  RIGHT?

That's what you're asking asexuals to do.


As apposed to what? asking someone to not have sex? ever? Even though they enjoy it in whatever way with whatever gender they enjoy it?  "hey cindy, I think we have a great relationship and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you but uhhh just FYI....we cant ever have sex, ever".  Unless the words "but you can sleep around with whoever you want" follows that sentence, I think the relationship is over.  If complete denial of sex is that important for people then be ready to start up a new version of match.com, and be ready for a pretty small dating pool.

Dude find a guy and get laid (or have volcanic klingon sex), nobody is judging you.  Were just pointing out the obvious bits.
 
2013-02-01 02:25:48 PM  

Erix: Is that what I was doing? I didn't know that sexuality is such a taboo subject. Apparently we must accept and understand, but are not allowed to discuss or question to get there.


I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that I was suggesting asexuality is a taboo topic.  I piled on you because you asked a loaded question.

If you were really just seeking information, then I hope the answer I gave you (asexual refers to desire for sex only, it doesn't encompass other aspects like attraction and relationships) satisfied your curiosity.
 
2013-02-01 02:27:11 PM  

aerojockey: NobleHam: aerojockey: Your question is as bigoted as asking a gay person a question like this: "If you're truly a homosexual, why do you choose men who dress like women? If you like how women look, why aren't you just straight?"

If someone asked me that question I'd just say, "I don't, being gay doesn't mean you live in a pride parade."

Personally I find oversensitivity a little bigoted. Just because you're different means you're thin-skinned about curiosity?

You know, it's not bigotry that's bothering me here (if the bigotry is minor things like insensitive or careless questions).  That happens, we all do it here and there, most people can deal with it.  The thing that rankles me is the hypocrisy.  People sit smugly on their swivel chairs thinking how wonderfully open-minded they are because they accept LGBT relationships in all their variations, but some other kind of sexuality pops up and they show the narrow-minded insensitivity that the anti-gay crowd exhibits.  They're not open-minded at all, they're as closed-minded to new possibilities as ever.  All they've done by accepting gays it to accommodate a few more variations in their "acceptable" category.

There are people who would never suggest you "suck it up and have sex with someone you'd be aghast at having sex with" to a gay person, but they have no problem suggesting exactly that to an an asexual.  That's my problem.


Dating an asexual would not be for me, but live and let live (and date).

I wouldn't date a vegan either (seriously, I love to cook, and just, no).  I still think they're entitled to their diets.
 
2013-02-01 02:29:55 PM  

ciberido: dj_spanmaster: MrBallou: JesusJuice: I'd be okay with that as long as she didn't nag me or care if I farked other women.

Dreamer

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not

You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

/I hope someday you'll join us.


then your sex romps will be alone.
 
2013-02-01 02:30:25 PM  

orclover: aerojockey: orclover: Somewhere out there is a fetish partner for everyone. But depending on the fetish, the pool of partners could be very very small. If my wife could only achieve orgasms if I was actually on fire and howling klingon obscenities, I....honestly would be hard pressed to fulfill those needs. But we would just have to find a way to make it happen, hopefully in a fireproof room. Thats a relationship. If you have enough basis to maintain a relationship then you help each other through the crap that is your differences or the relationship may not be worth it, but if it is, you do.

I found the perfect woman in every way for me.  Oh, but one problem, she has a penis.  But I can get over it, right?  I can make it work.  I'm capable of it, physically.  RIGHT?

That's what you're asking asexuals to do.

As apposed to what? asking someone to not have sex? ever? Even though they enjoy it in whatever way with whatever gender they enjoy it?  "hey cindy, I think we have a great relationship and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you but uhhh just FYI....we cant ever have sex, ever".  Unless the words "but you can sleep around with whoever you want" follows that sentence, I think the relationship is over.  If complete denial of sex is that important for people then be ready to start up a new version of match.com, and be ready for a pretty small dating pool.

Dude find a guy and get laid (or have volcanic klingon sex), nobody is judging you.  Were just pointing out the obvious bits.


I think the point is that being asexual means that this woman doesn't want to have sex.  But she still wants companionship.  And because she is asexual it is extremely difficult for her to find that companionship.  Asexuality may be much rarer than other forms of sexual expression, but that doesn't mean she can't keep looking for someone to share her life with. Yes, it's a pretty small dating pool, but I think it's good they're highlighting that asexual people are not necessarily total loners - they are just regular people.  That is the most obvious bit of this.

Ugh this feels like I'm in the 1960s trying to point out that homosexuals don't need to be "cured."  Open your minds a little bit, folks.
 
2013-02-01 02:31:12 PM  

orclover: As apposed to what? asking someone to not have sex? ever? Even though they enjoy it in whatever way with whatever gender they enjoy it? "hey cindy, I think we have a great relationship and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you but uhhh just FYI....we cant ever have sex, ever". Unless the words "but you can sleep around with whoever you want" follows that sentence, I think the relationship is over. If complete denial of sex is that important for people then be ready to start up a new version of match.com, and be ready for a pretty small dating pool.


So if you want to give advice to such a person, you should be constructive and say something like: "It's hard, but you should be up front about your asexuality and not try to enter relationships with people who do want sex".  Not to be a farking bigot and say, "You're farking capable of it, just do it".
 
2013-02-01 02:31:36 PM  

CheekyMonkey: Gone In 26 Minutes: God. All of these 'alternate' sexualities sound like people are trying too hard to make themselves seem unique and do so by damaging themselves and the people who have the misfortune of meeting. I fully believe that there is no such thing as asexual people (that aren't brain damaged in some way.) Sexuality is a core part of what makes us human and it's really a very simple thing. Everything else is just there to complicate it because people need to increasingly complicate EVERYTHING.

Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.

What you've written above is just as stupid as saying, "there's no such thing as being gay, it's a lifestyle choice".  It's the same goddamn thing - some people's brains are wired differently from the majority.  If you can fathom the existence of a subset of humans who are attracted to the same sex, why can you not accept a different subset whose sexual attraction "wiring" is different?


It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.

There are people who don't like sex because sex has always been unpleasant for them. They still have the urge, but they don't act on it because of the negative connotation. They are not asexual. Not by the true definition of it.
There are people who don't like sex because they were told sex is bad. They are not asexual. They just repress the urge.

If someone TRULY does not feel any sexual urge whatsoever, there are probably a host of other things wrong with them. Only someone mentally farked up beyond recognition can say, with a straight face, that they are truly asexual rather than 'sex has never really been fun for me.' THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. REPRESSING THE URGE IS STILL HAVING THE URGE.
 
2013-02-01 02:31:48 PM  
She needs to either find another asexual partner or she needs to offer an open relationship.
 
2013-02-01 02:32:12 PM  
Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!
 
2013-02-01 02:33:35 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: CheekyMonkey: Gone In 26 Minutes: God. All of these 'alternate' sexualities sound like people are trying too hard to make themselves seem unique and do so by damaging themselves and the people who have the misfortune of meeting. I fully believe that there is no such thing as asexual people (that aren't brain damaged in some way.) Sexuality is a core part of what makes us human and it's really a very simple thing. Everything else is just there to complicate it because people need to increasingly complicate EVERYTHING.

Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.

What you've written above is just as stupid as saying, "there's no such thing as being gay, it's a lifestyle choice".  It's the same goddamn thing - some people's brains are wired differently from the majority.  If you can fathom the existence of a subset of humans who are attracted to the same sex, why can you not accept a different subset whose sexual attraction "wiring" is different?

It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.

There are people who don't like sex because sex has always been unpleasant for them. They still have the urge, but they don't act on it because of the negative connotation. They are not asexual. Not by the true definition of it.
There are people who don't like sex because they were ...


Just because you believe it, doesn't make it true.
 
2013-02-01 02:34:32 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.


Also, as a side note: pandas.
 
2013-02-01 02:36:22 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Gone In 26 Minutes: It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.

Also, as a side note: pandas.


Pandas don't like to fark in cages. Most people don't either. Go figure.

PrivateCaboose: Just because you believe it, doesn't make it true.


I acknowledge that. That's why I say 'I believe' rather than 'this is the fact.' I accept the possibility that I'm wrong, but I have enough of an opinion about this that I will defend it until proven otherwise.
 
2013-02-01 02:36:27 PM  
foreveralone.jpg
 
2013-02-01 02:36:38 PM  
Why not just redirect fark.com straight to dailyfail.com and be done with it?
 
2013-02-01 02:36:41 PM  
userserve-ak.last.fm
So what's goin' on with the blow jobs again?

Yeah, cause I vote we keep them blow jobs, Jack!
 
2013-02-01 02:37:58 PM  

edgesrealm: I'm sorry, when did Legolas from Lord of The Rings start dating men?


The Race of Men is weak and unreliable. Legolas prefers hobbits.
 
2013-02-01 02:38:51 PM  

aerojockey: Erix: Is that what I was doing? I didn't know that sexuality is such a taboo subject. Apparently we must accept and understand, but are not allowed to discuss or question to get there.

I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that I was suggesting asexuality is a taboo topic.  I piled on you because you asked a loaded question.

If you were really just seeking information, then I hope the answer I gave you (asexual refers to desire for sex only, it doesn't encompass other aspects like attraction and relationships) satisfied your curiosity.


No you called him called him a bigot right off the bat.  He asked a legitimate question in a neutral tone.  "If one is truly asexual, why does the sex of a partner matter?"  You took offense to that. You know why it's legitimate?  Because she cares about sex, but will refuse to have sex.  And that is genuinely odd. It isn't narrow minded to think it is odd.  And it isn't bigoted to want to know more of the how does that work.
 
2013-02-01 02:38:52 PM  

aerojockey: orclover: As apposed to what? asking someone to not have sex? ever? Even though they enjoy it in whatever way with whatever gender they enjoy it? "hey cindy, I think we have a great relationship and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you but uhhh just FYI....we cant ever have sex, ever". Unless the words "but you can sleep around with whoever you want" follows that sentence, I think the relationship is over. If complete denial of sex is that important for people then be ready to start up a new version of match.com, and be ready for a pretty small dating pool.

So if you want to give advice to such a person, you should be constructive and say something like: "It's hard, but you should be up front about your asexuality and not try to enter relationships with people who do want sex".  Not to be a farking bigot and say, "You're farking capable of it, just do it".


Ah so you agree me with!

The self righteousness pouring off you has been entertaining :)  If you knew anything of my work history you would know how ridiculous this has all been.
 
2013-02-01 02:39:12 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: PrivateCaboose: Gone In 26 Minutes: It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.

Also, as a side note: pandas.

Pandas don't like to fark in cages. Most people don't either. Go figure.


It isn't just in cages.
 
2013-02-01 02:39:18 PM  

HailRobonia: edgesrealm: I'm sorry, when did Legolas from Lord of The Rings start dating men?

The Race of Men is weak and unreliable. Legolas prefers hobbits.


Dwarves, actually. He sailed to Aman with Gimli.
 
2013-02-01 02:39:23 PM  

AxemRed: She needs to either find another asexual partner or she needs to offer an open relationship.


She should do both. She should find an asexual parter, and both of them can not-have sex with other people.
 
2013-02-01 02:40:58 PM  

lockers: aerojockey: Erix: Is that what I was doing? I didn't know that sexuality is such a taboo subject. Apparently we must accept and understand, but are not allowed to discuss or question to get there.

I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that I was suggesting asexuality is a taboo topic.  I piled on you because you asked a loaded question.

If you were really just seeking information, then I hope the answer I gave you (asexual refers to desire for sex only, it doesn't encompass other aspects like attraction and relationships) satisfied your curiosity.

No you called him called him a bigot right off the bat.  He asked a legitimate question in a neutral tone.  "If one is truly asexual, why does the sex of a partner matter?"  You took offense to that. You know why it's legitimate?  Because she cares about sex, but will refuse to have sex.  And that is genuinely odd. It isn't narrow minded to think it is odd.  And it isn't bigoted to want to know more of the how does that work.


Perhaps she prefers the company of men.  Prefers to do her cuddling (which she lists in the article as enjoying) with men.  I know I certainly do.

I don't cuddle with women.  I have cuddled with men I had no intention of sleeping with.
 
2013-02-01 02:41:23 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: Pandas don't like to fark in cages. Most people don't either. Go figure


i291.photobucket.com
Much more so than panda's.
 
2013-02-01 02:41:52 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Gone In 26 Minutes: PrivateCaboose: Gone In 26 Minutes: It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.

Also, as a side note: pandas.

Pandas don't like to fark in cages. Most people don't either. Go figure.

It isn't just in cages.


Misleading headline. Should've been 'female pandas are farking picky with their real estate.' The story basically just said 'female pandas are picky about where they fark. males aren't. since they can't tell us, we had to study them for a while to figure this out.' Not 'pandas don't like to fark.'
 
2013-02-01 02:42:56 PM  

orclover: Gone In 26 Minutes: Pandas don't like to fark in cages. Most people don't either. Go figure

[i291.photobucket.com image 400x308]
Much more so than panda's.


I said most.
 
2013-02-01 02:43:49 PM  

orclover: aerojockey: orclover: As apposed to what? asking someone to not have sex? ever? Even though they enjoy it in whatever way with whatever gender they enjoy it? "hey cindy, I think we have a great relationship and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you but uhhh just FYI....we cant ever have sex, ever". Unless the words "but you can sleep around with whoever you want" follows that sentence, I think the relationship is over. If complete denial of sex is that important for people then be ready to start up a new version of match.com, and be ready for a pretty small dating pool.

So if you want to give advice to such a person, you should be constructive and say something like: "It's hard, but you should be up front about your asexuality and not try to enter relationships with people who do want sex".  Not to be a farking bigot and say, "You're farking capable of it, just do it".

Ah so you agree me with!


Boy are you a liar.  Here's what you said:

This woman in the article.  She can have sex.  Unless she's a ken doll down there, shes capable of it, physically.  Mentally the idea may be anathema to her.  If she found the perfect partner in all other aspects, she may be able to get through the hell of having some person climb on top of her and grunt sweatily for a few hours a day as an acceptable trade for maintaining a relationship that is otherwise unbelievably awesome.  As examples see most marriages in the last few thousand years.
 
2013-02-01 02:46:00 PM  
So... does she put out?
 
2013-02-01 02:46:27 PM  
Get thee to a nunnery!
 
2013-02-01 02:46:50 PM  

lockers: No you called him called him a bigot right off the bat. He asked a legitimate question in a neutral tone.


I didn't; it took a couple exchanges before I came out with "bigoted").  And that question was loaded.  Maybe he didn't intend it to be loaded but that's how it came out.  Even your polite rephrasing of it is still a bit suggestive.
 
2013-02-01 02:51:47 PM  
Asexuality is a Learned Behaviour.
 
2013-02-01 02:52:03 PM  
If she's willing to give a guy a BJ a couple times a week it might not be such a bad deal.
 
2013-02-01 02:52:55 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: That's why I say 'I believe' rather than 'this is the fact.' I accept the possibility that I'm wrong, but I have enough of an opinion about this that I will defend it until proven otherwise.


What would prove it to you, though? If people saying "I feel this way" isn't proof, what would be? How is homosexuality any different, if it can't be "proven" to exist in a lab? It's your opinion and I'm not upset about that or anything, just wondering what you're waiting for.

People are born whose brains are wired such that they can't see, hear, speak, or taste. People are born whose brains can't feel pain, one of the most basic survival tools (along with sexual urge = reproduction) Why is it so hard to believe sexual urge is the one sacred human quality that no brain can exist without?
 
2013-02-01 02:54:01 PM  
Lookin like that I don't think she has to worry about any guy wanting to hit that.....
 
2013-02-01 02:54:10 PM  
I've known an asexual man or two. Nice to know that there are ladies out there willing to not have sex with them.
 
2013-02-01 02:55:19 PM  

aerojockey: lockers: No you called him called him a bigot right off the bat. He asked a legitimate question in a neutral tone.

I didn't; it took a couple exchanges before I came out with "bigoted").  And that question was loaded.  Maybe he didn't intend it to be loaded but that's how it came out.  Even your polite rephrasing of it is still a bit suggestive.


Ok, I just realized it wasn <b>Erix</b> that asked the original loaded question that I took issue with.  So I was actually piliing on <b>Erix</b> because he took issue with me taking issue with someone who asked a loaded question that he said wasn't loaded.  My bad.
 
2013-02-01 02:57:36 PM  

aerojockey: lockers: No you called him called him a bigot right off the bat. He asked a legitimate question in a neutral tone.

I didn't; it took a couple exchanges before I came out with "bigoted").  And that question was loaded.  Maybe he didn't intend it to be loaded but that's how it came out.  Even your polite rephrasing of it is still a bit suggestive.


It wasn't in the least bit loaded. If someone is truly asexual, where does the gender preference come from? That isn't loaded or bigoted or whatever other reactionary thing you come up with.  He even said that he wasn't saying she can't be who she is.  You clearly overreacted.  A gender preference is a sexual choice. So how does that work.  Clearly she has sexual attraction. As far as I am concerned I think more power to her, at least she is clear and up front by setting expectations.
 
2013-02-01 03:00:21 PM  

aerojockey: orclover: aerojockey: orclover: As apposed to what? asking someone to not have sex? ever? Even though they enjoy it in whatever way with whatever gender they enjoy it? "hey cindy, I think we have a great relationship and I look forward to living the rest of my life with you but uhhh just FYI....we cant ever have sex, ever". Unless the words "but you can sleep around with whoever you want" follows that sentence, I think the relationship is over. If complete denial of sex is that important for people then be ready to start up a new version of match.com, and be ready for a pretty small dating pool.

So if you want to give advice to such a person, you should be constructive and say something like: "It's hard, but you should be up front about your asexuality and not try to enter relationships with people who do want sex".  Not to be a farking bigot and say, "You're farking capable of it, just do it".

Ah so you agree me with!

Boy are you a liar.  Here's what you said:

This woman in the article.  She can have sex.  Unless she's a ken doll down there, shes capable of it, physically.  Mentally the idea may be anathema to her.  If she found the perfect partner in all other aspects, she may be able to get through the hell of having some person climb on top of her and grunt sweatily for a few hours a day as an acceptable trade for maintaining a relationship that is otherwise unbelievably awesome.  As examples see most marriages in the last few thousand years.


So you dont think there are men and women out there having sex with their partners every day to satisfy an urge that is not theirs in any way only because it helps maintain the harmony of a relationship that is otherwise the exact ideal that they personally strive for?  It may not be a picture perfect world, but thats reality.  Telling her that she should NEVER have sex because its not in her interest is just as dishonest as telling her she should consider having sex if the relationship is otherwise worth it.  Relationships are more than sex right? You agreed with me there, we all saw you.  Ok now if she goes through a dozen "partners" all of whom are just as disinterested in anything sexual as she is.  But they.....are maybe as an example....morons, nothing interesting to talk about, some of them never want to cuddle and one of them snores like a farking chainsaw.  What you and I think is pointless if she finds the right girl/guy who stimulates her intellectually, fabulous dancer, unbelievable cook, same interest, is a warm quiet heatrock in bed, smells like cinnamon all the time.  If at that point she can put up with the occasional bout of sex just to keep that person happy, and it doesnt send her into night terrors or the hospital.  If she can "put up with" that small part of the relationship, she wont give a shiat what we say on the matter.  To her it may be worth it just to keep the rest.  Or maybe it wont be and the nonsexual aspect of the relationship will be the most important thing in her entire world.  Which is just as pitiable as some people who's entire relationship view is completely centered only around having regular sex.  Of which unfortunately the world is full of.
 
2013-02-01 03:00:55 PM  
Could be worse. She could be sexual but have avian bone syndrome and vertigo.

www.esquire.com
 
2013-02-01 03:01:01 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.


To simplify the concept, it's "Want to fark" vs. "Don't want to fark."

Just like there are various types of "Want to fark" people, there are various types of "Don't want to fark" people.

This chick, unfortunately, just wants attention.
 
2013-02-01 03:03:10 PM  

aerojockey: aerojockey: lockers: No you called him called him a bigot right off the bat. He asked a legitimate question in a neutral tone.

I didn't; it took a couple exchanges before I came out with "bigoted").  And that question was loaded.  Maybe he didn't intend it to be loaded but that's how it came out.  Even your polite rephrasing of it is still a bit suggestive.

Ok, I just realized it wasn <b>Erix</b> that asked the original loaded question that I took issue with.  So I was actually piliing on <b>Erix</b> because he took issue with me taking issue with someone who asked a loaded question that he said wasn't loaded.  My bad.


I think you WANT it to be a loaded question. I would be genuinely curious to ask this woman, "are you certain you want to live with a male and not a female, and if so what drives that?" She could say mild non-sexual attraction, societal norms, legal ease or whatever else and that's all fine, I'm just curious what she would say.

At no point is there an attempt to stop her or convince her she is wrong or anything. There is no loaded followup BUT I'm waiting to slam them with. It's just a question. If an asexual/gay person asked me what it's like to have sex with a woman I wouldn't fly off the handle. It's like you expect someone who maybe hasn't met someone of this inclination to magically understand their entire mentality and not have any curious questions. You have to learn something somewhere, before you can know it.

If I met someone who said they would only shake hands with their left hand, I would ask them why. Questions don't automatically mean you disagree with the premise.

/ not original poster, so lower your weapons
 
2013-02-01 03:03:51 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Perhaps she prefers the company of men. Prefers to do her cuddling (which she lists in the article as enjoying) with men. I know I certainly do.

I don't cuddle with women. I have cuddled with men I had no intention of sleeping with.


Are you asexual? If so, what makes a man better than a woman.  Also, even if you were up front about it, I guarantee most, if not all, of those men had a desire to sleep with you.  Not that cuddling obliges you to that or anything.
 
2013-02-01 03:06:04 PM  
Basically, I feel like those moments when 6-year-old kids ask their parents "why does Timmy have 2 dads" or "why doesn't Shirley like to have sex" (lol) are seen as a nice warm teaching moment for our youth when we give nice accepting answers. But once you're past the age of 12, that somehow becomes an offensive question if you presume they should know already. Some people just don't.
 
2013-02-01 03:08:43 PM  

GoodyearPimp: rev. dave: If she is asexual because she has no desire, then that is a no brainer.  But if she is resisting sexual urges for some delusional reason, it will cause a lot of crazy.

Maybe it's due to Jesus.  Jesus was clearly asexual.


If it was Jesus, she would be a nun and you would not be reading that story, or she would be foaming at the mouth and try to include Jesus as part of every conversation related to it.

--We don't really have enough details about the life of Jesus.  Sex became an issue with the church hundreds of years after his death and that was as a control mechanism for priests and their inheritance.
 
2013-02-01 03:10:24 PM  
I think you're being too absolute in stating that, "A gender preference is a sexual choice." There are other reasons for preferring a particular gender, relating to scent, body size (stereotypically), past associations with comfort and safety, vocal pitch (again, stereotypically), and what one finds visually appealing. Asexuals can find the human body extraordinarily beautiful without finding it erotic. I would hope that you wouldn't insist that a preference for one type of beauty over another is fixedly sexual.
 
2013-02-01 03:12:51 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.


Yes, it is.  The "sexual attraction" circuit of the brain can be wired in many different ways:  Straight.  Gay.  Bi.  No interest.  Complete repulsion.  Not only that, but sexuality is a continuum.  One person who is Bi can have equal attraction to both sexes.  Another might have a preference for one sex over the other, but not a strong enough preference to throw them into either the Straight or Gay categories.  Ultimately, it doesn't matter what you believe.  You have no special knowledge that "the natural-born urge to fark" is in "every animal".  You're making an assumption, based on statistics.  Also, you're confusing "damaged" with "different".

Gone In 26 Minutes: There are people who don't like sex because sex has always been unpleasant for them. They still have the urge, but they don't act on it because of the negative connotation. They are not asexual. Not by the true definition of it.There are people who don't like sex because they were told sex is bad. They are not asexual. They just repress the urge.If someone TRULY does not feel any sexual urge whatsoever, there are probably a host of other things wrong with them. Only someone mentally farked up beyond recognition can say, with a straight face, that they are truly asexual rather than 'sex has never really been fun for me.' THESE ARE NOT THE SAME THING. REPRESSING THE URGE IS STILL HAVING THE URGE.


It's nice that you can decide for other people whether or not what they're feeling is valid.  Did you even bother to read the article?  The woman in question states that not only does she not have any urge for sex, but that she's tried it on multiple occasions, with multiple partners, and she she finds the act repulsive.  Further, she says that there are no incidents or issues with her development which could have caused this, it's just they way she is.

I guess you think that she's lying.  I don't find it that difficult to believe that her brain is just wired differently.  The brain is a wonderfully complex organ that we know very little about.
 
2013-02-01 03:14:30 PM  

PrivateCaboose: I think the point is that being asexual means that this woman doesn't want to have sex.  But she still wants companionship.  And because she is asexual it is extremely difficult for her to find that companionship.  Asexuality may be much rarer than other forms of sexual expression, but that doesn't mean she can't keep looking for someone to share her life with. Yes, it's a pretty small dating pool, but I think it's good they're highlighting that asexual people ...


That's essentially it. Asexuality has varying degrees, much like normal sexuality. Some people who fall under the asexual umbrella still have libido and feel attraction, but sex itself doesn't interest them. Others have no attraction or libido at all and avoid contact altogether. Others have no interest in sex outside of a deeply romantic relationship (though not because of any religious or moral values).

There's a whole list of terms people use to identify their specific type of asexuality. It's about finding a way to identify and explain your not conforming to societal norms.
 
2013-02-01 03:14:31 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: I acknowledge that. That's why I say 'I believe' rather than 'this is the fact.' I accept the possibility that I'm wrong, but I have enough of an opinion about this that I will defend it until proven otherwise.


You have an opinion, but not the data to support it.  Only assumptions.
 
2013-02-01 03:14:49 PM  
You know, I do feel bad for this women for the shiat I am sure she goes through, and to each his own in terms of a person's sex life, but there's got to be some sort of disconnect between what she's saying, what's being reported, and reality.

The article is making it sound like she's looking for a romantic relationship, minus sex.  That's like looking to get married, minus the companionship.  It's just not what that word means.
 
2013-02-01 03:16:01 PM  
Oh, and so there's no confusion, the 'you' I was referencing in my post was Lockers: "A gender preference is a sexual choice. So how does that work. Clearly she has sexual attraction."
 
2013-02-01 03:16:32 PM  

lockers: PrivateCaboose: Perhaps she prefers the company of men. Prefers to do her cuddling (which she lists in the article as enjoying) with men. I know I certainly do.

I don't cuddle with women. I have cuddled with men I had no intention of sleeping with.

Are you asexual? If so, what makes a man better than a woman.  Also, even if you were up front about it, I guarantee most, if not all, of those men had a desire to sleep with you.  Not that cuddling obliges you to that or anything.


I am not. But I can recognize that there are plenty of reasons to prefer the companionship of one sex or gender over another. And some of those guys I cuddled with were gay. I'm betting they had no interest in having sex with me.
 
2013-02-01 03:18:23 PM  

udhq: You know, I do feel bad for this women for the shiat I am sure she goes through, and to each his own in terms of a person's sex life, but there's got to be some sort of disconnect between what she's saying, what's being reported, and reality.

The article is making it sound like she's looking for a romantic relationship, minus sex.  That's like looking to get married, minus the companionship.  It's just not what that word means.


No, that's just not what your definition of the word means.
 
2013-02-01 03:20:51 PM  

ram.1500: farm machine: Speaking of punctuation, ask Dan Marino the difference a period can make.

Let's not forget about punctuation!

"We're going out to eat Grandma!"
"We're going out to eat, Grandma!"


Or...

"We're going to eat out Grandma!"
"We're going to eat out, Grandma!"
 
2013-02-01 03:21:59 PM  
Shut up baraerojockey, you cock.

LightenUpFrancis.jpg
 
2013-02-01 03:26:58 PM  
Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?
 
2013-02-01 03:28:07 PM  

metric: Asexual relationship? It's called marriage.


images.t-nation.com
 
2013-02-01 03:29:01 PM  

show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?


If you went camping with a bunch of guys and one night they all held you down and had sex with you, would you tell anyone about it or take the secret with you to your grave?


wanna go camping?
 
2013-02-01 03:30:26 PM  
Wants man to provide for her financial needs, won't put out.

Good luck with that, there may be a gay republican that wants to run for office.
 
2013-02-01 03:30:50 PM  

Carn: show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?

If you went camping with a bunch of guys and one night they all held you down and had sex with you, would you tell anyone about it or take the secret with you to your grave?


wanna go camping?


images.t-nation.com
I love that joke and tell it at every opportunity.
 
2013-02-01 03:31:25 PM  

orclover: What you and I think is pointless if she finds the right girl/guy who stimulates her intellectually, fabulous dancer, unbelievable cook, same interest, is a warm quiet heatrock in bed, smells like cinnamon all the time. If at that point she can put up with the occasional bout of sex just to keep that person happy, and it doesnt send her into night terrors or the hospital.


If you would give the same advice to a straight man whose girlfriend turns out to have a penis, then I'll admit at least that you're not inconsistent.
 
2013-02-01 03:31:39 PM  

PrivateCaboose: I am not. But I can recognize that there are plenty of reasons to prefer the companionship of one sex or gender over another. And some of those guys I cuddled with were gay. I'm betting they had no interest in having sex with me.


That's why I said most. But from a normal hetero male perspective cuddling is a romantic and sexual act. Every friend who has ever mentioned cuddling has offered their disappointment that it led nowhere. I won't claim to understand how gay men feel about it, because all of my gay acquaintances have never brought it up.
 
2013-02-01 03:31:40 PM  
Back in my even-more-single-than-I-am-now days, I used to run into a surprising number of women who would say "I'm not looking for sex."  To which I would say, that's fine, but then you're not looking for an adult, romantic relationship.

I mean, I'm not looking for JUST sex, or for sex on the first date, and I don't think a woman ever owes a man sex, but if it's permanently off the table, then don't lead me to believe that we're on a date, or that our relationship is at all romantic in nature, because sex is an inevitable part of that kind of relationship.

I feel like this woman is mostly likely looking for platonic friends, but source is reporting like she is being misleading.
 
2013-02-01 03:31:48 PM  

JesusJuice: I'd be okay with that as long as she didn't nag me or care if I farked other women.


I'm going to bet she wouldn't allow that. I mean she has effectively killed 95% of your reason for living.
 
2013-02-01 03:33:29 PM  

aerojockey: orclover: What you and I think is pointless if she finds the right girl/guy who stimulates her intellectually, fabulous dancer, unbelievable cook, same interest, is a warm quiet heatrock in bed, smells like cinnamon all the time. If at that point she can put up with the occasional bout of sex just to keep that person happy, and it doesnt send her into night terrors or the hospital.

If you would give the same advice to a straight man whose girlfriend turns out to have a penis, then I'll admit at least that you're not inconsistent.


See my post above.
 
2013-02-01 03:34:05 PM  

show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?


IIRC there was an article on Fark a few months ago about two women who had been in a long distance relationship for a while, one of them pretending to be a man. When they met in person the non-pretender ended up living with the first woman in a lesbian relationship (though I think she claimed to still be straight) for a couple years and said it was mostly about the companionship, and she did it because someone she cared about.

Personally, I wouldn't but I would still be friends with the person. My best friend from age 7-10 or so I found out was gay when I tracked him down on facebook recently, there were probably "signs" as a kid but I wouldn't have picked up on them and it didn't make much of a difference to me otherwise. I still went out and got a drink with him to chat about the old times. At no point did I feel compelled to whip it out.
 
2013-02-01 03:37:06 PM  

aerojockey: Without reading the thread, I am guessing that a lot of the same people who accept all the myriad of sexual preferences with LGBT people, are now being bigoted when confronted with asexuality.

/checks thread
//yep


Asexuality is part of the LGBTQ umbrella -- in fact, it's one of the reasons the "Q" is there (because asexuality isn't L,B,G, or T, strictly speaking, so there was a need for at least one more letter).  And your point is valid, if the point you're trying to make is that it would be at least somewhat hypocritical to support LGBT people but scorn the "Q" folks.

As for whether or not Farkers are being hypocritical in this particular thread, however, no more so than most threads, I would say.
 
2013-02-01 03:38:17 PM  

Electromax: show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?

IIRC there was an article on Fark a few months ago about two women who had been in a long distance relationship for a while, one of them pretending to be a man. When they met in person the non-pretender ended up living with the first woman in a lesbian relationship (though I think she claimed to still be straight) for a couple years and said it was mostly about the companionship, and she did it because someone she cared about.

Personally, I wouldn't but I would still be friends with the person. My best friend from age 7-10 or so I found out was gay when I tracked him down on facebook recently, there were probably "signs" as a kid but I wouldn't have picked up on them and it didn't make much of a difference to me otherwise. I still went out and got a drink with him to chat about the old times. At no point did I feel compelled to whip it out.


You know, I had a friend like that too, only he had moved away after high school. I had a very interesting conversation with him for about an hour on the phone a few years back.
 
2013-02-01 03:41:19 PM  

show me: Carn: show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?

If you went camping with a bunch of guys and one night they all held you down and had sex with you, would you tell anyone about it or take the secret with you to your grave?


wanna go camping?

[images.t-nation.com image 440x339]
I love that joke and tell it at every opportunity.


One of my favs as well.  Awesome when you tell it to someone who's never heard it.
 
2013-02-01 03:43:03 PM  

PrivateCaboose: udhq: You know, I do feel bad for this women for the shiat I am sure she goes through, and to each his own in terms of a person's sex life, but there's got to be some sort of disconnect between what she's saying, what's being reported, and reality.

The article is making it sound like she's looking for a romantic relationship, minus sex.  That's like looking to get married, minus the companionship.  It's just not what that word means.

No, that's just not what your definition of the word means.


No, that's not how language works.  There is a universally accepted definition of a what a "romantic relationship" is.

Poll 10,000 random people and I'd be shocked if you found 2 who felt that sexuality was not a component.
 
2013-02-01 03:46:43 PM  

show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast.


Okay, but that isn't a romantic relationship. I mean, romance is palpable. Part of that romantic feeling is an intense attraction on both sides. I don't feel romance to someone who is just hanging out.
 
2013-02-01 03:49:00 PM  

udhq: PrivateCaboose: udhq: You know, I do feel bad for this women for the shiat I am sure she goes through, and to each his own in terms of a person's sex life, but there's got to be some sort of disconnect between what she's saying, what's being reported, and reality.

The article is making it sound like she's looking for a romantic relationship, minus sex.  That's like looking to get married, minus the companionship.  It's just not what that word means.

No, that's just not what your definition of the word means.

No, that's not how language works.  There is a universally accepted definition of a what a "romantic relationship" is.

Poll 10,000 random people and I'd be shocked if you found 2 who felt that sexuality was not a component.


Coming from a background in biology, I had thought that there was a universally accepted definition of "asexual" but apparently not.
 
2013-02-01 03:51:54 PM  

lockers: show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast.

Okay, but that isn't a romantic relationship. I mean, romance is palpable. Part of that romantic feeling is an intense attraction on both sides. I don't feel romance to someone who is just hanging out.


Point taken.
 
2013-02-01 04:02:31 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: God. All of these 'alternate' sexualities sound like people are trying too hard to make themselves seem unique and do so by damaging themselves and the people who have the misfortune of meeting. I fully believe that there is no such thing as asexual people (that aren't brain damaged in some way.) Sexuality is a core part of what makes us human and it's really a very simple thing. Everything else is just there to complicate it because people need to increasingly complicate EVERYTHING.

Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.


www.reactiongifs.com
 
2013-02-01 04:03:04 PM  

lockers: PrivateCaboose: Perhaps she prefers the company of men. Prefers to do her cuddling (which she lists in the article as enjoying) with men. I know I certainly do.

I don't cuddle with women. I have cuddled with men I had no intention of sleeping with.

Are you asexual? If so, what makes a man better than a woman.  Also, even if you were up front about it, I guarantee most, if not all, of those men had a desire to sleep with you.  Not that cuddling obliges you to that or anything.


I am emotionally attracted to men. I don't fall in love with ladies, I fall in love with men. It's pretty simple. Romantic attraction can occur independently of sexual attraction.

(For what it's worth, I feel sorry for this lady. As demonstrated by this thread, it's hard for people to wrap their heads around the idea of asexuality, and she'll probably get more grief than sincere potential partners. Asexuality is a lot easier to deal with when you're happy alone.)
 
2013-02-01 04:03:48 PM  
i228.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-01 04:06:50 PM  

Carn: show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?

If you went camping with a bunch of guys and one night they all held you down and had sex with you, would you tell anyone about it or take the secret with you to your grave?


wanna go camping?


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-01 04:10:51 PM  
Again, I do sympathize with this woman, I know being that different from those around you is never easy.

But I think what makes this such an emotional subject for people is that it does seem like just the height of arrogance to think that simply by virtue of what a great person I am, I should be able to have a marriage that does not include any of the aspects of marriage that I don't like.  Marriage is a grand compromise, not an ala carte situation.  It's the exact same thinking that drives men in polygamist societies.

I mean, you have to wonder what she thinks she is bringing to the table, and it just seems like she has to believe that the mere pleasure of her company is so uniquely valuable that it should outweigh the unbelievably enormous consolation she's asking a potential partner to make.
 
2013-02-01 04:20:02 PM  

udhq: Again, I do sympathize with this woman, I know being that different from those around you is never easy.

But I think what makes this such an emotional subject for people is that it does seem like just the height of arrogance to think that simply by virtue of what a great person I am, I should be able to have a marriage that does not include any of the aspects of marriage that I don't like.  Marriage is a grand compromise, not an ala carte situation.  It's the exact same thinking that drives men in polygamist societies.

I mean, you have to wonder what she thinks she is bringing to the table, and it just seems like she has to believe that the mere pleasure of her company is so uniquely valuable that it should outweigh the unbelievably enormous consolation she's asking a potential partner to make.


I read it as her wanting to find a man like her (more exposure means more likely to reach a potential partner?), rather than hoping a heterosexual guy would conform to her orientation. If it is indeed the latter ... I actually agree with you. I wouldn't want to have a relationship with a guy and feel like I was denying him something that made him happy, just as I think a man who loved me probably wouldn't enjoy feeling like I was more or less humoring him (instead of genuinely having fun in bed).
 
2013-02-01 04:22:37 PM  
 
2013-02-01 04:23:46 PM  

Hack Patooey: bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FOREHEAD

FIVEHEAD


Shampoo.
 
2013-02-01 04:25:02 PM  

Sairobi: I am emotionally attracted to men. I don't fall in love with ladies, I fall in love with men. It's pretty simple. Romantic attraction can occur independently of sexual attraction.


Is that the opposite of who you are sexually attracted to? Because if so I have a slew of naive questions to ask you. If not, I can honestly say I can't separate the two.  In fact the romance intensifies the sexual attraction. I'm not saying someone can't be asexual, clearly that is the case.  More than one farker lives in a sexless marriage. I also know that I would never get to being in love if sex wasn't involved. It makes me feel intimate in a way that no amount of talking, cuddling or hugging ever could. Knowing the difference would make it impossible to consider myself in love without it. It is fundamentally different then the love I feel for my daughter or my mother. But then again there isn't romance there either.
 
2013-02-01 04:25:15 PM  

Erix: I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.


But it is not unknown for people to, for instance, only prefer dance partners of the opposite sex, even though actual sex act is (at least conventionally) out of the question.   Like an adult and  16 y.o. jailbait dancing, or brother and sister dancing.

Probably just a habit or a culturally conditioned response.

It could be like that.
 
2013-02-01 04:27:12 PM  
CheekyMonkey:

I mistakenly went to the AVEN Awards one year, and was sorely disappointed...

Enjoy your free month!
 
2013-02-01 04:28:11 PM  

blatz514: Carn: show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?

If you went camping with a bunch of guys and one night they all held you down and had sex with you, would you tell anyone about it or take the secret with you to your grave?


wanna go camping?

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 240x179]


Gonna have to take a raincheck on that Mr. Armstrong.
 
2013-02-01 04:30:29 PM  

orclover: She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.


Just like my Ex-Wife.
Wish she had told me up front.
 
2013-02-01 04:31:50 PM  

orclover: She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.


Just like my Ex-Wife.
Wish she had told me up front and did not pretend to like sex for so long.
I truly think she would be fine not having any sex for the rest of her life.
Not just 'no sex with me' (haha), really no sex with anyone.
 
2013-02-01 04:33:07 PM  
Even if you never ever think about sex, what happens to asexuals if for example they accidentally brush their genitals against a washing machine or something? Assuming their parts work and are physically like everyone else's doesn't that bump send a message to the brain, "Hey, that felt...interesting". I can understand them thinking sex with another person being icky, but not even liking getting yourself off? That seems like it would be a treatable psychological problem to not get those feelings or be afraid of them, And why are asexuals being compared to LGBT people? That group likes the sensations as much as any human or species on this planet.
 
2013-02-01 04:35:20 PM  

BHShaman: orclover: She wants a standard relationship with a well off handsome man who will treat her well and never ever ask for sex.

Just like my Ex-Wife.
Wish she had told me up front and did not pretend to like sex for so long.
I truly think she would be fine not having any sex for the rest of her life.
Not just 'no sex with me' (haha), really no sex with anyone.


Did it just become more and more infrequent?  Did you always have to initiate?
 
2013-02-01 04:37:22 PM  

BHShaman: CheekyMonkey:

I mistakenly went to the AVEN Awards one year, and was sorely disappointed...

Enjoy your free month!


Thanks, dude.  I just saw the email, and I was wondering what it was for.  I'm assuming I owe you a new keyboard?
 
2013-02-01 04:40:20 PM  

Fafai: Men have the higher sex drive so it's a pretty stupid and selfish thing to search out a man for all the perks of a romantic relationship without the sex.


All other things being equal, yes, you might have better odds looking for a woman who would want a romantic relationship without sex than a man.  But she may have any number of reasons for preferring a male candidate.  And if she's up-front about the "no sex" part, I fail to see anything selfish or stupid about it.
 
2013-02-01 04:40:45 PM  
This is probably what her crotchital area is like. (marginally NSFW. Not taking any chances)
 
2013-02-01 04:44:17 PM  

browntimmy: Even if you never ever think about sex, what happens to asexuals if for example they accidentally brush their genitals against a washing machine or something? Assuming their parts work and are physically like everyone else's doesn't that bump send a message to the brain, "Hey, that felt...interesting". I can understand them thinking sex with another person being icky, but not even liking getting yourself off? That seems like it would be a treatable psychological problem to not get those feelings or be afraid of them, And why are asexuals being compared to LGBT people? That group likes the sensations as much as any human or species on this planet.


Being asexual doesn't exclude being capable of sexual stimulation, arousal, masturbation, or even climax. It's just usually not going to be with another person in mind Some asexuals have a libido, some don't. It doesn't have to be the result of psychological trauma, though it can be.
 
2013-02-01 04:48:02 PM  
FTFA:  'I'd love to be in a loving relationship and settle down,' she said.

Settle down from what exactly?
 
2013-02-01 04:48:18 PM  

HenryFnord: Sorry, seeing 'vegan' strapped on the end there is a deal killer.


Might explain the rough looking 29

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-01 04:50:15 PM  

lockers: Sairobi: I am emotionally attracted to men. I don't fall in love with ladies, I fall in love with men. It's pretty simple. Romantic attraction can occur independently of sexual attraction.

Is that the opposite of who you are sexually attracted to? Because if so I have a slew of naive questions to ask you. If not, I can honestly say I can't separate the two.  In fact the romance intensifies the sexual attraction. I'm not saying someone can't be asexual, clearly that is the case.  More than one farker lives in a sexless marriage. I also know that I would never get to being in love if sex wasn't involved. It makes me feel intimate in a way that no amount of talking, cuddling or hugging ever could. Knowing the difference would make it impossible to consider myself in love without it. It is fundamentally different then the love I feel for my daughter or my mother. But then again there isn't romance there either.


I am asexual, but romantically attracted to guys. (I'm a lady, so I guess that makes me hetero-romantic?)  I understand where you're coming from; I imagine it works that way for the vast majority of people! For me, though, I may feel have intense romantic feelings for a man ... I just have no interest whatsoever in boning him. The two feelings (emotional and sexual) are separate. I think the important thing is that both ways are perfectly valid! I don't really mind if you think it's strange or even incomprehensible (because I recognize I am a complete failure, evolutionarily speaking), just as long as you don't say it doesn't exist/I haven't met the right person/etc.
 
2013-02-01 04:51:47 PM  

vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?  That doesn't mean you're compromising your principles.  It means that you're meeting his needs, and in exchange, he is probably having sex a lot less than he would otherwise want.  My wife and I have both done things on nights where we weren't otherwise in the mood because we wanted to make the other one happy.  Neither of us feel like we were compromising our principles in doing so.  Call it a form of "stress-relief" or a "tension breaker" if it makes you feel better, but to be so selfish pretty much guarantees that she's never going to find anyone.


It's true.  You don't get it.

And again, if she's up-front about it from the very beginning, there's nothing especially selfish about it.

But it IS interesting how defensive people are getting, throwing this word "selfish" around.  Clearly the concept of asexuality makes some people VERY uncomfortable.
 
2013-02-01 04:53:51 PM  

bhcompy: FishyFred: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x354]

Doesn't seem like such a tall order to me.

/TEETH

/FIVEFOREHEAD

 
2013-02-01 04:53:57 PM  
show me:  Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. .....but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?

If I wanted to be his BOYFRIEND, I would.
Thing is, she wants to be someone's GIRLFRIEND but without the sexual attachment.

In the scenario above, I would tell the guy that I love being his best friend and as long as he does not mind craving me without satisfaction we can still be FRIENDS. I would NOT tell him that I am totally willing to be his relationship partner under the caveat of no sex, knowing he would want to have sex with someone he is in a relationship with.

I have homo friends that want to do me. Fair enough. I have chick friends I would love to bang (almost all of them). But, since I am not willing to enter into a 'relationship' with them under the caveat of no-sex (either way it went) we all remain friends and we don't enter into an 'asexual' one-sided relationship.
 
2013-02-01 04:54:20 PM  

Fafai: Crackers Are a Family Food: vsavatar: I don't get it.  Why is it such a problem to meet your partner's needs?  Why does that have to be compromising yourself?  So what if you don't get off while having sex with your SO?

I think there's a term for coercing/forcing someone to have sex when they don't want to.  Give me a few minutes.  I'll think of it.

Nice try, but "(not getting) off while having sex" is not the definition of rape. I doubt anyone here is truly suggesting anyone force themselves upon this woman sexually. We're just saying she should lighten up and choose (consent) to compromise.


Telling someone that it's her duty to have sex, that she OWES her husband sex, isn't rape.  But it does make you a pretty craptacular excuse for a human being.
 
2013-02-01 04:58:31 PM  

Sairobi: I am asexual, but romantically attracted to guys. (I'm a lady, so I guess that makes me hetero-romantic?) I understand where you're coming from; I imagine it works that way for the vast majority of people! For me, though, I may feel have intense romantic feelings for a man ... I just have no interest whatsoever in boning him. The two feelings (emotional and sexual) are separate. I think the important thing is that both ways are perfectly valid! I don't really mind if you think it's strange or even incomprehensible (because I recognize I am a complete failure, evolutionarily speaking), just as long as you don't say it doesn't exist/I haven't met the right person/etc.


Well there's your problem, you've got it backwards!  Ah.. yeah, I'm kidding, and I'm a terrible person.

Seriously though, I long knew that sexual orientation was a scale, not a dichotomy, but it never occurred to me that there might be a sexual/asexual scale that essentially runs perpendicular to orientation.  Makes sense though, and I could see the two scales intersecting at any point along either continuum.
 
2013-02-01 04:59:21 PM  

CheekyMonkey: BHShaman: CheekyMonkey:

I'm assuming I owe you a new keyboard?


I could go buy a 1000 calorie fast food burger or treat you to a month of TF for a witty play on the acronyms.
Sponsoring you is better for my health.
 
2013-02-01 05:01:28 PM  

screwzloos: browntimmy: Even if you never ever think about sex, what happens to asexuals if for example they accidentally brush their genitals against a washing machine or something? Assuming their parts work and are physically like everyone else's doesn't that bump send a message to the brain, "Hey, that felt...interesting". I can understand them thinking sex with another person being icky, but not even liking getting yourself off? That seems like it would be a treatable psychological problem to not get those feelings or be afraid of them, And why are asexuals being compared to LGBT people? That group likes the sensations as much as any human or species on this planet.

Being asexual doesn't exclude being capable of sexual stimulation, arousal, masturbation, or even climax. It's just usually not going to be with another person in mind Some asexuals have a libido, some don't. It doesn't have to be the result of psychological trauma, though it can be.


Okay, the definition in my head of an asexual was not someone who masturbates. What are they fantasizing about when they are doing it?
 
2013-02-01 05:04:51 PM  

ciberido: But it IS interesting how defensive people are getting, throwing this word "selfish" around. Clearly the concept of asexuality makes some people VERY uncomfortable.


You said that right. This has been an interesting read of a thread for just that reason. I mean this woman is trying to find someone that feels the same way nothing wrong with that and as I understand it there are people out there like here so more power to her. Do I understand asexuality, no, do I have to to have compassion and hope she finds what she's looking for no. And this woman isn't responsible for all y'all farkers failed sexless marriages.
 
2013-02-01 05:06:13 PM  

browntimmy: screwzloos: browntimmy: Even if you never ever think about sex, what happens to asexuals if for example they accidentally brush their genitals against a washing machine or something? Assuming their parts work and are physically like everyone else's doesn't that bump send a message to the brain, "Hey, that felt...interesting". I can understand them thinking sex with another person being icky, but not even liking getting yourself off? That seems like it would be a treatable psychological problem to not get those feelings or be afraid of them, And why are asexuals being compared to LGBT people? That group likes the sensations as much as any human or species on this planet.

Being asexual doesn't exclude being capable of sexual stimulation, arousal, masturbation, or even climax. It's just usually not going to be with another person in mind Some asexuals have a libido, some don't. It doesn't have to be the result of psychological trauma, though it can be.

Okay, the definition in my head of an asexual was not someone who masturbates. What are they fantasizing about when they are doing it?


Wait you have to fantasize about something when you masturbate?  Cuz I don't.
 
2013-02-01 05:09:55 PM  

Sairobi: lockers: Sairobi: I am emotionally attracted to men. I don't fall in love with ladies, I fall in love with men. It's pretty simple. Romantic attraction can occur independently of sexual attraction.

Is that the opposite of who you are sexually attracted to? Because if so I have a slew of naive questions to ask you. If not, I can honestly say I can't separate the two.  In fact the romance intensifies the sexual attraction. I'm not saying someone can't be asexual, clearly that is the case.  More than one farker lives in a sexless marriage. I also know that I would never get to being in love if sex wasn't involved. It makes me feel intimate in a way that no amount of talking, cuddling or hugging ever could. Knowing the difference would make it impossible to consider myself in love without it. It is fundamentally different then the love I feel for my daughter or my mother. But then again there isn't romance there either.

I am asexual, but romantically attracted to guys. (I'm a lady, so I guess that makes me hetero-romantic?)  I understand where you're coming from; I imagine it works that way for the vast majority of people! For me, though, I may feel have intense romantic feelings for a man ... I just have no interest whatsoever in boning him. The two feelings (emotional and sexual) are separate. I think the important thing is that both ways are perfectly valid! I don't really mind if you think it's strange or even incomprehensible (because I recognize I am a complete failure, evolutionarily speaking), just as long as you don't say it doesn't exist/I haven't met the right person/etc.


Sorry, got you mixed up with caboose there.  I support and applaud your choice to be into or not into anything you want if it is between two consenting adults. So as long as your up front with the guys that your never going to want sex, I think your aces, darlin. Who am I to judge what makes another person happy.  Since your asexual I have a few personal questions, do you mind if I ask them?
 
2013-02-01 05:13:08 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Wait you have to fantasize about something when you masturbate?


Men are very visual sexually.  We can't zen out and just be about the sensation.
 
2013-02-01 05:15:50 PM  
"29"
 
2013-02-01 05:15:54 PM  

lockers: Sorry, got you mixed up with caboose there.  I support and applaud your choice to be into or not into anything you want if it is between two consenting adults. So as long as your up front with the guys that your never going to want sex, I think your aces, darlin. Who am I to judge what makes another person happy.  Since your asexual I have a few personal questions, do you mind if I ask them?


Aw, thanks for being so cool about it! That's basically all I ask for -- I don't need people to understand (because, again, I get how alien it is to most people), just accept. And I absolutely agree about the importance about being upfront and honest about it. Everyone should know what they're getting into with a relationship when it's something as important as sex.

So go ahead and shoot with the questions! I'll try to answer as best I can.
 
2013-02-01 05:16:40 PM  
PrivateCaboose:
Wait you have to fantasize about something when you masturbate?  Cuz I don't.

So the whole the time you're just sitting there thinking, "yanking on my penis, yanking on my penis, yanking on my penis..."? I guess that's one way to do it.
 
2013-02-01 05:21:06 PM  

Sairobi: I am asexual, but romantically attracted to guys. (I'm a lady, so I guess that makes me hetero-romantic?) I understand where you're coming from; I imagine it works that way for the vast majority of people! For me, though, I may feel have intense romantic feelings for a man ... I just have no interest whatsoever in boning him. The two feelings (emotional and sexual) are separate. I think the important thing is that both ways are perfectly valid! I don't really mind if you think it's strange or even incomprehensible (because I recognize I am a complete failure, evolutionarily speaking), just as long as you don't say it doesn't exist/I haven't met the right person/etc.


Interesting and CSS.
/I guess I'm an evolutionary failure as well since I'm not having kids.
//We're all different and nothing wrong with that.
 
2013-02-01 05:23:50 PM  
I'd be more than happy not to throw one into her. It's been working out well so far.
 
2013-02-01 05:26:14 PM  

browntimmy: PrivateCaboose:
Wait you have to fantasize about something when you masturbate?  Cuz I don't.

So the whole the time you're just sitting there thinking, "yanking on my penis, yanking on my penis, yanking on my penis..."? I guess that's one way to do it.


No but now I should be. That'd make for an interesting time.
 
2013-02-01 05:26:32 PM  
Sairobi:
So go ahead and shoot with the questions! I'll try to answer as best I can.

Some up thread suggested that asexuals can have a libido, is that you?

Have you ever had an orgasm (regardless of how)?

What is the difference between romantic love and platonic love for you?  I assume you get a longing for the romantic love.  Does he make your heart flutter when you see him? Miss him intensely when he is gone?
 
2013-02-01 05:30:22 PM  

Erix: aerojockey: Erix: aerojockey: notmtwain: Why look for a man in the first place if she is truly asexual?

Is that not allowed?

If it's completely asexual, why does she care what sex her partner is?  Honestly, why would it matter?

If that's her preference, is that not allowed?

No one said it wasn't allowed, settle down.  I just want to understand what a gender preference is based on if she's truly asexual.


As has already been pointed out in the thread, there are different "kinds" or "levels" of asexuality.  Some asexuals still experience romance, and can be (in some sense) heterosexual, gay, or bisexual (in that they feel ROMANTIC but not SEXUAL attraction towards one or both sexes).

And "truly asexual" is something of a misconception: nobody really gets to point to someone and say "she's not a TRUE asexual."  It's really up to the individual to self-identify.

If I may draw a parallel, there is an issue with bisexuality where there are people who argue that a certain individual isn't TRULY bisexual because they aren't EQUALLY attracted to both men and women.  There are indeed "gay-identified bisexuals" (as well as "lesbian-identified" and "heterosexual-identified" bisexuals) who have a preference for one gender over the other, in addition to the "50-50 bisexuals," but it's insulting and pointless to argue that some of these aren't "true" bisexuals.

Not being asexual myself nor knowing any personally, however, this is somewhat speculative, and if I am wrong perhaps someone with more knowledge will correct me.
 
2013-02-01 05:31:48 PM  

cig-mkr: She just hasn't had the right man to give her the Big O yet, you know leave her there shaking like a bowl of jello, curled up in a fetal position and whimpering like a puppy in a huge wet spot.
/ don't look at me, I'm not the guy for the job


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-01 05:33:19 PM  
And more about the asexuals having a libido thing: If you sometimes enjoy touching yourself, why wouldn't you enjoy the stimulation from someone else's hands physically doing the exact same thing?
 
2013-02-01 05:41:28 PM  
Just want to point out the the 1976 Webster's Unabridged defines "asexual" as "a: having no sex or functional sex organs b: produced without sexual action or differentiation c: not relating to sex". And yet, when you look it up in Wikipedia you're taken to a long page which can only be the result of people not understanding that the word "sex" in the original definition is a noun. Anyone who identifies themselves as asexual and was born with or currently has sex organs is a fool, though it seems that it's only been happening without any hint of irony for the last ten or fifteen years or so. "Emotionally troubled" was a good enough description until recently; it's a shame that useful words keep getting misused until they lose their useful meaning.

Or, the joke response:
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-01 05:59:17 PM  
Electromax:

If I met someone who said they would only shake hands with their left hand, I would ask them why. Questions don't automatically mean you disagree with the premise.

It might mean they were a former Scout.

/the girl scout handshake involves making the scout sign with your right hand while you shake hands with the left
//have on occasion caught myself using the left hand to shake out of habit
 
2013-02-01 06:00:54 PM  

lockers: Sairobi:
So go ahead and shoot with the questions! I'll try to answer as best I can.

Some up thread suggested that asexuals can have a libido, is that you?

Have you ever had an orgasm (regardless of how)?

What is the difference between romantic love and platonic love for you?  I assume you get a longing for the romantic love.  Does he make your heart flutter when you see him? Miss him intensely when he is gone?


I do have a libido! It's just not directed at any person. Like, I never see a guy and think sexy thoughts. My brain usually goes:  gosh, he has a nice nose, or dat facial structure. It's more of a detached aesthetic appreciation? Which makes sense because I'm an artist, and therefore a very visual creature.

I have had my share! Obviously of my own making, haha.

... That is a very good question. I do occasionally yearn for romantic love, but I guess I am very lucky in that I am perfectly content being by myself. But, man, that is a hard question, because you're right in that they're definitely different -- I love my mom differently than I love my friends differently than I would love a man -- but how to distinguish them? I definitely do feel all the stuff associated with romantic love, though, like all the stuff you cited. I just don't connect those feelings to any sort of sexual desire. I imagine most people experience something particularly romantic, and their brains (and bodies) say, "now kiss!" For whatever reason, mine just doesn't make that leap.

(Sorry, that probably wasn't a very helpful answer, but you've given me food for thought. Thank you.)
 
2013-02-01 06:17:42 PM  

Citrate1007: Wants man to provide for her financial needs, won't put out.

Good luck with that, there may be a gay republican that wants to run for office.


Don't try to inflict this nightmare on Idaho.  We have enough problems as it is
 
2013-02-01 06:18:29 PM  

sobe: Held up pretty good for 49. Not too bad. Wait what? 39? Ok, well she's showing her age a bit. Still, she's British.

29??!!  No no no no no . That must be a typo.


If she's as thin as I think she is, and add in the vegan (which does sometimes mean you aren't getting all the nutrition you should if you're not careful) I'm not surprised her face wrinkles up like that when she smiles.

Plump older people have less pronounced wrinkles than thin older people, in general of course.
 
2013-02-01 06:24:31 PM  
Thanks for being so candid Sairobi.

Do you think some asexual people are so-oriented because they are visually displeasing to the opposite sex, or have image issues that prevent them from making that leap from romantic to sexual? Im only asking because I witnessed an insecure asexual Farker in a past thread basically alude to that conclusion.

I could see a man with a tiny penis being afraid of heterosexual interaction, and then call himself asexual. Not because he lack feelings for the opposite sex, but because the act of sex would be dehumanizing to him. Do these kinds of situations exist in the asexual community, or am I just ignorantly way off the path here?
 
2013-02-01 06:34:44 PM  

D_Evans45: Thanks for being so candid Sairobi.

Do you think some asexual people are so-oriented because they are visually displeasing to the opposite sex, or have image issues that prevent them from making that leap from romantic to sexual? Im only asking because I witnessed an insecure asexual Farker in a past thread basically alude to that conclusion.

I could see a man with a tiny penis being afraid of heterosexual interaction, and then call himself asexual. Not because he lack feelings for the opposite sex, but because the act of sex would be dehumanizing to him. Do these kinds of situations exist in the asexual community, or am I just ignorantly way off the path here?


if he actually *had* feelings for the opposite sex, he wouldn't dehumanize himself.  he's simply gay.
 
2013-02-01 06:45:34 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes: God. All of these 'alternate' sexualities sound like people are trying too hard to make themselves seem unique and do so by damaging themselves and the people who have the misfortune of meeting. I fully believe that there is no such thing as asexual people (that aren't brain damaged in some way.) Sexuality is a core part of what makes us human and it's really a very simple thing. Everything else is just there to complicate it because people need to increasingly complicate EVERYTHING.

Women who call themselves asexual are either emotional stunted, repressing themselves in some way or just lying to try to get attention from people they think won't look at them as a hole to fark in an attempt to meet what they think is a 'nice guy.'

You're either heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. Those are the only things I will ever accept as naturally occurring in humanity. Everything else is just bullshiat in a vain attempt at making themselves look like a special snowflake.


6/10

If I didn't already know you were a troll, I'd be mad.  So, well done.

You can go back under your bridge now.
 
2013-02-01 06:47:11 PM  
Are you actually asexual Jon? Id like a response from an open minded individual who actually has some experience here. The man in my hyopthetical situation finds women very sexually atractive, but is unable to bring himself to have sex due to humiliation (micropenis is a very real condition that affects 0.6% of males, GIS it). I feel like at least some people call themselves asexual not because they dont want to have sex with other people, but because they have personal issues that prevent them from doing so.

I was merely asking if I was even close, or off in ignorant fantasy land. This romance without sexual attraction thing is a mystery to me. In my mind, such things are mutually inclusive. Im just trying to understand.
 
2013-02-01 06:49:52 PM  

Gone In 26 Minutes:  Assuming asexuality isn't bullshiat (it is,) then they would stick to other asexual people if they had any decency. A gay person might have a thing for a straight one (or vice versa,) but for the most part, they typically have the common courtesy of keeping it to themselves. Typically. There are Chasing Amy-like situations, sure, and drunk people in general tend to act stupid, but...

In the case of an asexual, a lot of them tend to pursue people who AREN'T asexual and expect them to bend to their will... because you'd do it if you love me, right? And you wouldn't fark anyone either, right?


I thought I had already banished you.
padresteve.files.wordpress.com
You've had your fun.  Now let the adults talk.
 
2013-02-01 06:52:39 PM  

BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!


Yeah, and these grapes taste awful, too.

(Not directed at you; agreeing with you)
 
2013-02-01 06:52:46 PM  

show me: Okay, this is directed at no particular person, but look at a relationship like this: You are a hetero guy, and you have a guy buddy who is really cool. Likes the same sports as you, likes to drink the same kind of beer, likes the same kind of movies, etc. You hang out with this guy all the time and it's a blast. Thing is, after a while, you find out he's not hetero. Not by a long shot. He wants to put it in your butt. Badly. I know you wouldn't really like doing that, but you would, every once in a while, because it makes your bestest friend ecstatically happy, right? Once a week? Once a month?


If for some reason I want to cuddle with him on the couch and bed, sleep in the same bed and spend 90% of my free time with him and his fabulous self...at some point....I need to take a deep hard look at my own sexuality and maybe throw the guy an occasional hummer.  Cuz one of us is being dishonest, and its not him.

Now heres the funny part!  I know people like this, plural.  One of them a close cousin, absolutely fabulousely homosexual, was married to a woman for 20 years until she died of cancer, stayed with her to the very end.  He claims she was the reason he lived through the 80's without catching anything.  Hated the sex, but he did it to keep her happy and she knew he wasnt into it.  She was extremely well off but he said thats not the only reason he stayed with her (and faithfull mind you), they were besties and she loved him and he loved her, just not sexually.  Now my cousin lives with his current parter, a nice younger engineer who is totally not gay.  But he just happens to enjoy having sex with a man in a monogamous relationship.......

/not just a river in egypt.
 
2013-02-01 06:55:50 PM  
Why doesn't she just get a dog?  Like a Labrador.  It will want to cuddle with her all the time and she can get all the doggy kisses she wants.  It won't talk back.  It will figure out that humping her leg is not an option after a few swats on the nose, etc.

Unconditional love and no back talk.
 
2013-02-01 07:02:17 PM  

D_Evans45: Are you actually asexual Jon? Id like a response from an open minded individual who actually has some experience here. The man in my hyopthetical situation finds women very sexually atractive, but is unable to bring himself to have sex due to humiliation (micropenis is a very real condition that affects 0.6% of males, GIS it). I feel like at least some people call themselves asexual not because they dont want to have sex with other people, but because they have personal issues that prevent them from doing so.

I was merely asking if I was even close, or off in ignorant fantasy land. This romance without sexual attraction thing is a mystery to me. In my mind, such things are mutually inclusive. Im just trying to understand.


The idea of someone thinking "I would have sex all the time if only..." doesn't sound like an asexual. If he's given up completely and doesn't care enough to think about it anymore, that might be getting closer, but that doesn't sound like it's the case. He's just repressed. I'd recommend getting this guy very drunk and renting him a hooker.

I identify as an asexual not because I'm unattractive or lack of a certain endowment - neither are the case - I simply don't have a libido of any significance, and I never have. My past romantic relationships have all been with women, and not by coincidence, so I usually tack hetero-romantic on the front.

This isn't a hard science, so your mileage may vary.
 
2013-02-01 07:05:25 PM  

D_Evans45: Are you actually asexual Jon? Id like a response from an open minded individual who actually has some experience here. The man in my hyopthetical situation finds women very sexually atractive, but is unable to bring himself to have sex due to humiliation (micropenis is a very real condition that affects 0.6% of males, GIS it). I feel like at least some people call themselves asexual not because they dont want to have sex with other people, but because they have personal issues that prevent them from doing so.

I was merely asking if I was even close, or off in ignorant fantasy land. This romance without sexual attraction thing is a mystery to me. In my mind, such things are mutually inclusive. Im just trying to understand.


i have a micropenis and i have no problem sticking it in a female

it's all about pleasing her
not acting gay and rejecting yourself..
 
2013-02-01 07:10:29 PM  
This thread is farking stupid.
 
2013-02-01 07:16:58 PM  

kermit_the_frog: That's a rough 29 years.


Came here to say this and exactly this.
 
2013-02-01 07:18:54 PM  
Makes me wonder how much of asexuality is a result of "formerly sexually abused."  Which would make total sense.
 
2013-02-01 07:20:54 PM  

voran: Makes me wonder how much of asexuality is a result of "formerly sexually abused."  Which would make total sense.


totally true
 
2013-02-01 07:23:20 PM  

Fallout Boy: This thread is farking stupid.


Actually, it's farking nothing.  Hence the discussion.
 
2013-02-01 07:28:01 PM  

Sairobi: lockers: Sairobi:
So go ahead and shoot with the questions! I'll try to answer as best I can.

Some up thread suggested that asexuals can have a libido, is that you?

Have you ever had an orgasm (regardless of how)?

What is the difference between romantic love and platonic love for you?  I assume you get a longing for the romantic love.  Does he make your heart flutter when you see him? Miss him intensely when he is gone?

I do have a libido! It's just not directed at any person. Like, I never see a guy and think sexy thoughts. My brain usually goes:  gosh, he has a nice nose, or dat facial structure. It's more of a detached aesthetic appreciation? Which makes sense because I'm an artist, and therefore a very visual creature.

I have had my share! Obviously of my own making, haha.

... That is a very good question. I do occasionally yearn for romantic love, but I guess I am very lucky in that I am perfectly content being by myself. But, man, that is a hard question, because you're right in that they're definitely different -- I love my mom differently than I love my friends differently than I would love a man -- but how to distinguish them? I definitely do feel all the stuff associated with romantic love, though, like all the stuff you cited. I just don't connect those feelings to any sort of sexual desire. I imagine most people experience something particularly romantic, and their brains (and bodies) say, "now kiss!" For whatever reason, mine just doesn't make that leap.

(Sorry, that probably wasn't a very helpful answer, but you've given me food for thought. Thank you.)


I have the feeling you'll find someone who sparks something in you romantically and you'll find yourself no longer asexual. I could be wrong, but I don't see someone randomly and just get horny. Now I have a really healthy libido, but it doesn't apply to people i'm not involved with. And it gets a lot stronger as the romance grows. Then again I could be wrong and that's okay too!
 
2013-02-01 07:30:59 PM  
Yeah if you are an asexual female the only man you are gonna land is a closeted gay guy looking for a beard.
 
2013-02-01 07:32:55 PM  

Oldiron_79: Yeah if you are an asexual female the only man you are gonna land is a closeted gay guy looking for a beard.


or a rapist
 
2013-02-01 07:44:48 PM  
fark all you morons who want to make "asexual" a thing. Amoebas are asexual. You are here because your parents farked.
 
2013-02-01 07:55:47 PM  

Fafai: fark all you morons who want to make "asexual" a thing. Amoebas are asexual. You are here because your parents farked.


I know plenty of people who live in sexless marriages.  It's a thing.  And I wouldn't wish it on anyone who isn't a sexual because I know I would be miserable.
 
2013-02-01 07:58:05 PM  
To whomever gave me the TF membership: Holy cats, thanks! I've never had TF before and that was quite a nice surprise.

D_Evans45: I imagine both occur, but like screwzloos, I think the example of the man with the embarrassment is an instance of someone identifying as such without actually demonstrating the defining characteristics. But since sexuality is self-identification ... well, I don't think anyone has the right to declare someone else's identification invalid. (But as for people not being attractive, again, maybe it happens? I can only speak from personal experience, but I'm not a horsebeast. I'm around 5'9" and 130 pounds; it definitely isn't a self-image issue for me.)

lockers: Well, I'm almost thirty, and I have dated in the past, so I imagine if that stirring of the loins was gonna occur, it probably would have. But I'm not gonna rule it out! Hell, I would LOVE to be normative in that regard, as it would relieve a lot of social pressure. But if I continue to be this way, I'm not gonna be sad about it. I don't get lonely, or feel the need for a relationship/family of my own, unlike the poor lady from the article. I feel bad for people like her.

voran: Didn't they used to say that about gay people?
 
2013-02-01 08:04:04 PM  
PrivateCaboose: Also, as a side note: pandas.

Gone In 26 Minutes: Pandas don't like to fark in cages. Most people don't either. Go figure.


Wait, you mean that those websites have been lying to me this whole time?!

*sob*
 
2013-02-01 08:08:09 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Gone In 26 Minutes: PrivateCaboose: Gone In 26 Minutes: It's not the same thing at ALL. Being gay does not farking remove the natural-born urge to fark that's in every animal, whether they have two legs or four. Being 'asexual' suggests that there IS no sexual wiring at all and I firmly believe that to be completely impossible in all, but the most damaged of minds.

Also, as a side note: pandas.

Pandas don't like to fark in cages. Most people don't either. Go figure.

It isn't just in cages.


From the article you linked: "While males will roam anywhere there's bamboo, females are much more picky, preferring specific high altitude forests on relatively steep slopes. These areas provide better den sites for the females to give birth, and the denser bamboo offers hiding places for still growing young.  Like all great research, the scientists figured this out by looking at a whole lot of poop ..."

My god, it's an almost perfect allegory.
 
2013-02-01 08:18:02 PM  
Sairobi: Thanks for opening up and talking about it, it's interesting to me and I'm sure this wasn't the easiest thread to read what with farks retarded population. I learned something thanks you're defiantly fav'd.
 
2013-02-01 08:19:54 PM  

ciberido: Wait, you mean that those websites have been lying to me this whole time?!

*sob*


Wait what websites have you been going to?
/Curious, curious ; )
 
2013-02-01 08:25:26 PM  

lockers: It wasn't in the least bit loaded. If someone is truly asexual, where does the gender preference come from? That isn't loaded or bigoted or whatever other reactionary thing you come up with.


Your expression "truly asexual" is indeed loaded.  It implies that some people who call themselves "asexual" are TRULY asexual and that other people who call themselves "asexual" are NOT TRULY asexual.  There's an implication there.  Thus, the question is loaded.  You're implying that someone (you perhaps) gets to draw the line between the TRULY asexual and the NOT TRULY asexual (asexual wannabes?  demi-asexual?).
 
2013-02-01 08:36:36 PM  

Mr. Ekshun: Just want to point out the the 1976 Webster's Unabridged defines "asexual" as "a: having no sex or functional sex organs b: produced without sexual action or differentiation c: not relating to sex". And yet, when you look it up in Wikipedia you're taken to a long page which can only be the result of people not understanding that the word "sex" in the original definition is a noun. Anyone who identifies themselves as asexual and was born with or currently has sex organs is a fool, though it seems that it's only been happening without any hint of irony for the last ten or fifteen years or so. "Emotionally troubled" was a good enough description until recently; it's a shame that useful words keep getting misused until they lose their useful meaning.


Read the first three words of the definition.
 
2013-02-01 08:42:37 PM  

Sairobi: I don't get lonely, or feel the need for a relationship/family of my own, unlike the poor lady from the article. I feel bad for people like her.


To me it always seemed like this was the hardest thing for people to wrap their heads around. Most of my friends, male and female, haven't gone more than a month without a gf/bf or farkbuddy (and after a week or two won't shut up about it). The idea that someone could a) Not care about sex/have no desire for sex; and/or b) Have no interest in relationships or coupling; confuses the hell out of them.
 
2013-02-01 08:46:23 PM  

Mr. Ekshun: Just want to point out the the 1976 Webster's Unabridged defines "asexual" as "a: having no sex or functional sex organs b: produced without sexual action or differentiation c: not relating to sex". And yet, when you look it up in Wikipedia you're taken to a long page which can only be the result of people not understanding that the word "sex" in the original definition is a noun. Anyone who identifies themselves as asexual and was born with or currently has sex organs is a fool, though it seems that it's only been happening without any hint of irony for the last ten or fifteen years or so. "Emotionally troubled" was a good enough description until recently; it's a shame that useful words keep getting misused until they lose their useful meaning.


So, in other words, "I have nothing to contribute to this thread, but as a Grammar Nazi I am compelled to whine about how language changes over time."

Got it.
 
2013-02-01 08:53:18 PM  

squidgod2000: Sairobi: I don't get lonely, or feel the need for a relationship/family of my own, unlike the poor lady from the article. I feel bad for people like her.

To me it always seemed like this was the hardest thing for people to wrap their heads around. Most of my friends, male and female, haven't gone more than a month without a gf/bf or farkbuddy (and after a week or two won't shut up about it). The idea that someone could a) Not care about sex/have no desire for sex; and/or b) Have no interest in relationships or coupling; confuses the hell out of them.


Question? Are you saying you're asexual? I mean can understand although I've been celibate for a while now but that's by choice and lack of willingness to compromise on what I want not lack of wanting. I don't know sexuality is interesting to me since I'm b,i well I've been told I'm actually pan-sexual which is true I just generally use bi since most people know that one
 
2013-02-01 09:18:24 PM  

Dirtybird971: Just start buying cats lady.


THIS


Also, I'm saving her picture for the next thread in which I have to fight with some limey bastard explaining that white teeth are unnatural.
 
2013-02-01 09:21:50 PM  
So: is a hand-job out of the question? If so: why? Are you really that selfish? Then do what other frigid people do: get a cat or thirteen.
 
2013-02-01 09:22:38 PM  

BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!


Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.
 
2013-02-01 09:26:49 PM  

Feral_and_Preposterous: So: is a hand-job out of the question? If so: why? Are you really that selfish? Then do what other frigid people do: get a cat or thirteen.


So what you're saying is you give out a lot of hand-jobs or own a bunch of cats. So which one is it?
 
2013-02-01 09:31:54 PM  

Fano: BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!

Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.


Yes and all fark can tell how handsome you are, wait they can't.

/Really I have some friends that could do her hair and make-up and make her look presentable. ( Gay friends that do hair and make-up a girls best friend, well as well as the bears to threaten guys that won't leave ya alone : ))
 
2013-02-01 09:33:47 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!

Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.

Yes and all fark can tell how handsome you are, wait they can't.

/Really I have some friends that could do her hair and make-up and make her look presentable. ( Gay friends that do hair and make-up a girls best friend, well as well as the bears to threaten guys that won't leave ya alone : ))


I've been variously told I look like Jimmy Smits or Raul Julia, so there's your disclaimer.
 
2013-02-01 09:34:21 PM  

ciberido: lockers: It wasn't in the least bit loaded. If someone is truly asexual, where does the gender preference come from? That isn't loaded or bigoted or whatever other reactionary thing you come up with.

Your expression "truly asexual" is indeed loaded.  It implies that some people who call themselves "asexual" are TRULY asexual and that other people who call themselves "asexual" are NOT TRULY asexual.  There's an implication there.  Thus, the question is loaded.  You're implying that someone (you perhaps) gets to draw the line between the TRULY asexual and the NOT TRULY asexual (asexual wannabes?  demi-asexual?).


I am not drawing anything. You're loading it, I am genuinely curious where that comes from. I don't doubt some people are not into to the whole sex thing, but I don't understand why it matters if someone is a women or a man if you don't care about sex.  Attraction is a function of sexual desire and emotional desire.  Sexual doesn't have to be binary but it usually is.  Emotional desire is very much not binary.
 
2013-02-01 09:47:14 PM  

Fano: tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!

Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.

Yes and all fark can tell how handsome you are, wait they can't.

/Really I have some friends that could do her hair and make-up and make her look presentable. ( Gay friends that do hair and make-up a girls best friend, well as well as the bears to threaten guys that won't leave ya alone : ))

I've been variously told I look like Jimmy Smits or Raul Julia, so there's your disclaimer.


Nope that want do I want pics in your profile sorry it's the only way.

/And really I'm just tired of anonymous farkers commenting on how unattractive someone is especially if it's a women that says something they don't like.
 
2013-02-01 10:10:58 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!

Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.

Yes and all fark can tell how handsome you are, wait they can't.

/Really I have some friends that could do her hair and make-up and make her look presentable. ( Gay friends that do hair and make-up a girls best friend, well as well as the bears to threaten guys that won't leave ya alone : ))

I've been variously told I look like Jimmy Smits or Raul Julia, so there's your disclaimer.

Nope that want do I want pics in your profile sorry it's the only way.

/And really I'm just tired of anonymous farkers commenting on how unattractive someone is especially if it's a women that says something they don't like.


Fine, I'll get around to reposting my previous WIP pic that I took down when I realized it had my full name attached
 
2013-02-01 10:41:58 PM  
"Ooh it makes so many people uncomfortable how very interesting."

Of course it makes us uncomfortable. The more this becomes a thing, the more people are going to start identifying after their awkward/unpleasant first experience and end up denying themselves and others one of the most pleasurable, rewarding, healthful activities there is to be had between two human beings. We're afraid it's going to take sexual people--especially those with untapped potential to becoming veritable sex gods--off the market, simply because their first time was icky.
 
2013-02-01 11:25:43 PM  

Fafai: "Ooh it makes so many people uncomfortable how very interesting."

Of course it makes us uncomfortable. The more this becomes a thing, the more people are going to start identifying after their awkward/unpleasant first experience and end up denying themselves and others one of the most pleasurable, rewarding, healthful activities there is to be had between two human beings. We're afraid it's going to take sexual people--especially those with untapped potential to becoming veritable sex gods--off the market, simply because their first time was icky.


So what you're saying is you became gay when that was all a thing and then became bi and now ....Really is that you're premise? People are who and what they are, you're acceptance or the public's acceptance doesn't mater a damn.People have always and will always who they are but this does make things easier for them to open up and find other accepting people.

/Grow a pair dude.
 
2013-02-01 11:25:57 PM  
I didn't think anyone really cared about people being asexual.  Since it doesn't effect anyone but the person themselves really.  Kinda weird to see so many people worried about others identifying as such.  Then again I guess if I wasn't asexual myself I could see people being interested at the notion, or all "wtf mate?"  To me it doesn't matter, I'm happy living alone and just having friends is good enough.  Most of them don't give it a second thought, cause it doesn't really matter to anyone but the asexual.  At least this is my experience.
 
2013-02-01 11:53:16 PM  

Ladeeda: I didn't think anyone really cared about people being asexual.  Since it doesn't effect anyone but the person themselves really.  Kinda weird to see so many people worried about others identifying as such.  Then again I guess if I wasn't asexual myself I could see people being interested at the notion, or all "wtf mate?"  To me it doesn't matter, I'm happy living alone and just having friends is good enough.  Most of them don't give it a second thought, cause it doesn't really matter to anyone but the asexual.  At least this is my experience.


Ya know reading this thread was strange it was all about the persons own perception and their own identity and how that would be harmed in some way it was almost like reading one of the transgender threads here in that respect. And yea, I noticed a lot of those characters here as well.

As I said earlier it is fascinating to me and I have no preconceived notions about it, it's just human sexuality is fascinating and as I said I'm bi and even though there's not long threads about guys worrying their girlfriends are gonna run of with another girl there is actually a lot of prejudice toward bi people because people believe they can be monogamous or make up their minds.which for the most part isn't true but the main thing I see in this thread is the concern troll of "oh I could be trapped"

Sounds like you're doing well with it and it's probably no more difficult to explain to those that are close than me telling people I'm bi. Granted I did have a lot of stuff that confused my parents early on but they got over it : )
/Yea I know TLDR ; )
 
2013-02-02 12:12:57 AM  

lockers: ciberido: lockers: It wasn't in the least bit loaded. If someone is truly asexual, where does the gender preference come from? That isn't loaded or bigoted or whatever other reactionary thing you come up with.

Your expression "truly asexual" is indeed loaded.  It implies that some people who call themselves "asexual" are TRULY asexual and that other people who call themselves "asexual" are NOT TRULY asexual.  There's an implication there.  Thus, the question is loaded.  You're implying that someone (you perhaps) gets to draw the line between the TRULY asexual and the NOT TRULY asexual (asexual wannabes?  demi-asexual?).

I am not drawing anything. You're loading it, I am genuinely curious where that comes from. I don't doubt some people are not into to the whole sex thing, but I don't understand why it matters if someone is a women or a man if you don't care about sex.  Attraction is a function of sexual desire and emotional desire.  Sexual doesn't have to be binary but it usually is.  Emotional desire is very much not binary.


I can explain the attraction vs. sex thing. I prefer roses over daisies, the smell, the shape and the color. So when I'm looking for flowers I choose roses. When I'm looking for a companion, there's another set of qualities I look for even if I'm not into banging, they happen to be masculine.
 
2013-02-02 12:29:07 AM  

DreamyAltarBoy: lockers: ciberido: lockers: It wasn't in the least bit loaded. If someone is truly asexual, where does the gender preference come from? That isn't loaded or bigoted or whatever other reactionary thing you come up with.

Your expression "truly asexual" is indeed loaded.  It implies that some people who call themselves "asexual" are TRULY asexual and that other people who call themselves "asexual" are NOT TRULY asexual.  There's an implication there.  Thus, the question is loaded.  You're implying that someone (you perhaps) gets to draw the line between the TRULY asexual and the NOT TRULY asexual (asexual wannabes?  demi-asexual?).

I am not drawing anything. You're loading it, I am genuinely curious where that comes from. I don't doubt some people are not into to the whole sex thing, but I don't understand why it matters if someone is a women or a man if you don't care about sex.  Attraction is a function of sexual desire and emotional desire.  Sexual doesn't have to be binary but it usually is.  Emotional desire is very much not binary.

I can explain the attraction vs. sex thing. I prefer roses over daisies, the smell, the shape and the color. So when I'm looking for flowers I choose roses. When I'm looking for a companion, there's another set of qualities I look for even if I'm not into banging, they happen to be masculine.


Interesting way to put it, I mean I've often wondered why this girl or that guy are the ones I'd like as lovers bit this one or that one will always be friends. And yea I have a different set of qualifiers for each although some friends become more than that but maybe that's just growth and change?
 
2013-02-02 12:36:47 AM  
tinfoil-hat maggie:
So what you're saying is you became gay when that was all a thing

Yes, actually. So do a lot of people, and that's fine and everything but the idea of people not having sex altogether makes me profoundly sad. I troll because I care.
 
2013-02-02 12:38:49 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk
Oh, no tears please. It's a waste of good suffering!
 
2013-02-02 12:51:29 AM  

Fafai: tinfoil-hat maggie:
So what you're saying is you became gay when that was all a thing

Yes, actually. So do a lot of people, and that's fine and everything but the idea of people not having sex altogether makes me profoundly sad. I troll because I care.


So you really are saying you weren't born gay but had sex men anyway because that was the thing to do at the time?
/Yea I know you're saying you're trolling
//Butt really : )
///It seems it's none of you're business no mater what.
 
2013-02-02 12:56:41 AM  

ha-ha-guy: That's a hard 29 right there.

Lumpmoose: Many asexuals still want a companion or life partner.  As for how someone would pick a man vs. a woman for that role if they're truly asexual, I have no idea.

That is what has always confused me.  So you get a heterosexual partner and live out some kind weird domestic lifestyle without sex or kids (unless you adopt) and all that.  Why not just settle into a college esque roommate style thing?  It seems much more efficient and less problematic if you decide you want to jack it to some lesbian poor or go pick someone at the bar because the urge has struck.


Not all intimacy is based on orgasmic completion.
Being alone sucks.
Having a friend helps.
Having a partner spiritually helps more
The do not have to be connected.

/// I am sexual, I would not accept this
// she is unattractive to me
/ one of the seven reasons her and I will not be engaging in sex, in my preferred order of priority
 
2013-02-02 01:55:58 AM  
I'm still stunned from being called out by tinfoilhat-maggie.

This woman is stunningly unattractive*, a vegan, that doesn't want any physical contact, but wants... a man for what again? She could have a roommate of any sex for this purpose. Or a Dag.


*she can be cleaned up, like anyone can, but normally she has stringy hair, bad teeth, a widow's peak,terrible wrinkles at the supposed age of 29 and poor skin in general and a giant forehead, (is she a British 5/10)
**all without some sort of interesting personality to mitigate this
 
2013-02-02 01:59:27 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!

Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.

Yes and all fark can tell how handsome you are, wait they can't.

/Really I have some friends that could do her hair and make-up and make her look presentable. ( Gay friends that do hair and make-up a girls best friend, well as well as the bears to threaten guys that won't leave ya alone : ))


Why didn't the tv folks do any of these things? Or did they roll their eyes and say "fark this" when she was going to be on the show? Because seriously, she looks pretty bad for a 29 year old. It doesn't speak well for the NHS or British dentistry. She's a vegan? I wouldn't have been surprised if she lived off of coca leaves for a time.
 
2013-02-02 02:10:24 AM  

Fano: tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!

Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.

Yes and all fark can tell how handsome you are, wait they can't.

/Really I have some friends that could do her hair and make-up and make her look presentable. ( Gay friends that do hair and make-up a girls best friend, well as well as the bears to threaten guys that won't leave ya alone : ))

Why didn't the tv folks do any of these things? Or did they roll their eyes and say "fark this" when she was going to be on the show? Because seriously, she looks pretty bad for a 29 year old. It doesn't speak well for the NHS or British dentistry. She's a vegan? I wouldn't have been surprised if she lived off of coca leaves for a time.


You seem really upset almost concerned about what I think and yea the right hair and makeup no they don't give that to guest unless their important, I had a freind work on doing that kind of thing for the hostess I heard all about it. And really why do you care? The show wanted more than likely to look homebodyish or maybe that was her preference doesn't mater. I said what I said and I stand by that. What more do you want? And where's you're pretty pic pretty boy?
/Just fark off you're one more troll so who cares, farks full of them.
 
2013-02-02 02:18:12 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: BraveNewCheneyWorld: Mediocre looking woman has sex with students - Fark: Omg, I would so hit that, I wish she was my teacher.

Mediocre looking woman doesn't have sex - Fark: Omg, look at those sharp knees and that forehead, do not want!

Mediocre is REALLY pushing it for this bird.

Yes and all fark can tell how handsome you are, wait they can't.

/Really I have some friends that could do her hair and make-up and make her look presentable. ( Gay friends that do hair and make-up a girls best friend, well as well as the bears to threaten guys that won't leave ya alone : ))

Why didn't the tv folks do any of these things? Or did they roll their eyes and say "fark this" when she was going to be on the show? Because seriously, she looks pretty bad for a 29 year old. It doesn't speak well for the NHS or British dentistry. She's a vegan? I wouldn't have been surprised if she lived off of coca leaves for a time.

You seem really upset almost concerned about what I think and yea the right hair and makeup no they don't give that to guest unless their important, I had a freind work on doing that kind of thing for the hostess I heard all about it. And really why do you care? The show wanted more than likely to look homebodyish or maybe that was her preference doesn't mater. I said what I said and I stand by that. What more do you want? And where's you're pretty pic pretty boy?
/Just fark off you're one more troll so who cares, farks full of them.


Nope, not a troll. Your current spelling pattern indicates you are drunk and upset. It's ok, you're just white knighting, which is another way of trolling.
 
2013-02-02 02:42:28 AM  

Fano: Nope, not a troll. Your current spelling pattern indicates you are drunk and upset. It's ok, you're just white knighting, which is another way of trolling.


LoL : ) And that's another way of concern trolling. So you lost out to Khiezar in the boy scout thread was it and now you've come back to play with me how cute and pathetic. go to bed.
 
2013-02-02 02:45:02 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: Nope, not a troll. Your current spelling pattern indicates you are drunk and upset. It's ok, you're just white knighting, which is another way of trolling.

LoL : ) And that's another way of concern trolling. So you lost out to Khiezar in the boy scout thread was it and now you've come back to play with me how cute and pathetic. go to bed.


I fulfilled your request.
 
2013-02-02 02:49:41 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: Nope, not a troll. Your current spelling pattern indicates you are drunk and upset. It's ok, you're just white knighting, which is another way of trolling.

LoL : ) And that's another way of concern trolling. So you lost out to Khiezar in the boy scout thread was it and now you've come back to play with me how cute and pathetic. go to bed.


Lost out in the boy scout thread? Because I didn't post pictures of swimmers for you? That's pretty dumb.
 
2013-02-02 02:59:58 AM  

Fano: tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: Nope, not a troll. Your current spelling pattern indicates you are drunk and upset. It's ok, you're just white knighting, which is another way of trolling.

LoL : ) And that's another way of concern trolling. So you lost out to Khiezar in the boy scout thread was it and now you've come back to play with me how cute and pathetic. go to bed.

I fulfilled your request.


No you didn't I don't see a pic in you're profile.
 
2013-02-02 03:02:38 AM  

Fano: tinfoil-hat maggie: Fano: Nope, not a troll. Your current spelling pattern indicates you are drunk and upset. It's ok, you're just white knighting, which is another way of trolling.

LoL : ) And that's another way of concern trolling. So you lost out to Khiezar in the boy scout thread was it and now you've come back to play with me how cute and pathetic. go to bed.

Lost out in the boy scout thread? Because I didn't post pictures of swimmers for you? That's pretty dumb.


No you are, I know blargh, blargh ,blargh really I'm done with you. Don't send another post to me again, troll all ya want sure but I'm done with you.
 
2013-02-02 06:32:26 AM  

aerojockey: Erix: Gotcha. Any attempt at understanding through discourse is a display of bigoted thinking. Thanks for your assistance.

No, but questioning someone's sexuality because you don't think it belongs to a small set of categories that are acceptable and make sense to you, which is what you were doing, is.

I'll answer your question.  She is not what you mistakenly believe to be an asexual is.  "Asexual" means not interested in having sex.  That's it.  Is doens't refer, at all, to things like physical attraction, relationships, etc.  You are, incorrectly, taking it to mean a lot more than it means.


No, usually it does mean not being physically attracted to people.
 
2013-02-02 07:17:54 AM  
From my own personal experience the people I have known who expressed the same disgust about sex that the woman in the article claims have all had severe psychological/emotional problems, and this has been only one facet of that fact. Two of them were men that I was involved with, and one was a woman who was my best friend for a long time. The woman was somewhat less neurotic about the whole thing, though.

She also was the first person who I heard express the view that human beings in general were in fact rather ugly animals, which after some serious thought I felt I could agree with. She pointed out things like the absence of fur. She was basically also describing how she rarely felt attracted to another human being. I came to the conclusion that I could relate to that, and that for years I had been secretly uncomfortable with the pressure I felt to hook up with people and "fancy" them, whereas the reality was that I had rarely if ever felt actively sexually attracted to anyone.

There's a woman in this thread who is identifying as asexual who seems to be describing the same thing - I put it to you that this is actually normal and much more common than people are led to believe, in particular probably for females who are often said to be less visual than males when it comes to sexual stimulation.

What I found was that much later on in my sexual career I discovered the whole "fancying" people thing, and it seemed to be something which grew over time and depended on things like first of all deciding that person X was a potential future partner. It also grew, as noted by another commenter, as things progressed - and the whole issue of not being certain if things were going to continue seemed to very much intensify feelings. Basically unavailability or uncertainty, plus occasional positive reinforcement, really gets things going. I was deliberately exploring the whole idea of the traditional way of hooking up with people that you genuinely like and find attractive (in some general sense) and seeing what happened, whereas earlier in my life I'd been happy to experiment and sleep with just about anybody. Basically, being picky and then going for someone in particular seems to be the key.

But I'm betting that anyone who expresses some deep revulsion at the idea of sex has major psychological problems of one kind or another, in general. That's what the woman in the article seems to be describing. More than a question of just not "doing it for her". Maybe I misunderstood, but that was the impression I got. All three of the people I mentioned had issues like that, but all for different reasons, and as I said it was only PART of what was wrong with them generally.
 
2013-02-02 08:54:03 AM  
tinfoil-hat maggie:
So you really are saying you weren't born gay but had sex men anyway

Again, yes. Why are you so hung up on this? You sound like a broken record. I wouldn't be the only straight person in the world to try a gay experience or two.

"Relax, people will be who they are."

Most sexual men who try the asexual thing will quickly snap out of it, yes I agree. Women? Their drives can lay dormant for a very long time. I can easily see an otherwise very sexual woman getting caught up in this, and that is sad. Not because *I* won't get to fark them (I'm in a committed, monogamous relationship, what do I care?) but because I mourn for all the squandered ecstasy on HER behalf.

You might want to lend me your tinfoil-hat there because I can see this movement, along with the growing awareness of the harmful effects of rampant sex imagery in the media/society, as well as the "special snowflake" need to prove how evolved and superior and different people are... I can see this all killing off sex completely in some sad, lonely dystopian future. All this denial in the name of "progress", it's just not right dammit.
 
2013-02-02 10:31:03 AM  
what this woman needs is METHAMPHETAMINE
 
2013-02-02 10:41:08 AM  

lockers: I am not drawing anything. You're loading it, I am genuinely curious where that comes from. I don't doubt some people are not into to the whole sex thing, but I don't understand why it matters if someone is a women or a man if you don't care about sex.  Attraction is a function of sexual desire and emotional desire.  Sexual doesn't have to be binary but it usually is.  Emotional desire is very much not binary.


You aren't taking a neutral stance and asking "Why is X true?"  You're taking a belligerent stance and demanding "I refuse to believe that X is true until you prove it to my satisfaction."

Which is a fine attitude to take, by the way, when someone is trying to sell you something.  It is not, however, a fine attitude to take when someone is talking about a deeply personal experience that you do not understand because it's one you have never yourself had.

I don't know if you're denying this because (A) your communication skills suck and so how you are coming off in this thread is vastly different from what you INTEND to communicate, (B) you are in denial of your own feelings, or (C) you're simply lying to us about your motives.  My money's on (B), personally, but it doesn't really matter.
 
2013-02-02 10:55:26 AM  

Ladeeda: I didn't think anyone really cared about people being asexual.  Since it doesn't effect anyone but the person themselves really.  Kinda weird to see so many people worried about others identifying as such.  Then again I guess if I wasn't asexual myself I could see people being interested at the notion, or all "wtf mate?"  To me it doesn't matter, I'm happy living alone and just having friends is good enough.



For whatever it's worth, here's my take on it:

There are people who feel threatened by, and get defensive or even hateful about, asexuality; and I think they're largely the same people who who feel threatened by, and get defensive or even hateful about, bisexuality, homosexuality, and all the other things that fall under "lbgtq," and for the same reason.

Basically, they want to live in a world where "men are men" and "women are women," and anyone who doesn't conform to that simple worldview threatens their sense of security. A man who doesn't want to have sex with ANYONE violates that "men are men" credo just as a man who wants to have sex only with other men, or a man who wants to have sex with both men and women, do.

The human desire to live in a world that is simple, stable, and predictable is a profound one, and when you challenge a world view that promises to offer simplicity, stability, and predictability, people feel very threatened.
 
2013-02-02 11:01:38 AM  

Fano: I'm still stunned from being called out by tinfoilhat-maggie.

This woman is stunningly unattractive*, a vegan, that doesn't want any physical contact, but wants... a man for what again? She could have a roommate of any sex for this purpose. Or a Dag.



See, the fundamental problem here is that you think that her wants and desires have to make sense to you, or else they're invalid and she's a foolish attention whore.

See, this goes back to my previous post.  Her wants and desires must MAKE SENSE to you, or else they're NOT OK.  You feel threatened by what you do not understand.  And feeling threatened, you lash out, verbally.

Tinfoilhat-maggie (and others) call you out on this because we disapprove of your disapproval, to put it simply.
 
2013-02-03 12:25:24 PM  

ciberido: Fano: I'm still stunned from being called out by tinfoilhat-maggie.

This woman is stunningly unattractive*, a vegan, that doesn't want any physical contact, but wants... a man for what again? She could have a roommate of any sex for this purpose. Or a Dag.


See, the fundamental problem here is that you think that her wants and desires have to make sense to you, or else they're invalid and she's a foolish attention whore.

See, this goes back to my previous post.  Her wants and desires must MAKE SENSE to you, or else they're NOT OK.  You feel threatened by what you do not understand.  And feeling threatened, you lash out, verbally.

Tinfoilhat-maggie (and others) call you out on this because we disapprove of your disapproval, to put it simply.


I feel about as threatened as I did reading about the guy who farked a horse and hung himself.  I see that you guys brought this thread to a screeching halt.
 
2013-02-04 01:00:58 PM  

Sairobi: lockers: Sairobi:
So go ahead and shoot with the questions! I'll try to answer as best I can.

Some up thread suggested that asexuals can have a libido, is that you?

Have you ever had an orgasm (regardless of how)?

What is the difference between romantic love and platonic love for you?  I assume you get a longing for the romantic love.  Does he make your heart flutter when you see him? Miss him intensely when he is gone?

I do have a libido! It's just not directed at any person. Like, I never see a guy and think sexy thoughts. My brain usually goes:  gosh, he has a nice nose, or dat facial structure. It's more of a detached aesthetic appreciation? Which makes sense because I'm an artist, and therefore a very visual creature.

I have had my share! Obviously of my own making, haha.

... That is a very good question. I do occasionally yearn for romantic love, but I guess I am very lucky in that I am perfectly content being by myself. But, man, that is a hard question, because you're right in that they're definitely different -- I love my mom differently than I love my friends differently than I would love a man -- but how to distinguish them? I definitely do feel all the stuff associated with romantic love, though, like all the stuff you cited. I just don't connect those feelings to any sort of sexual desire. I imagine most people experience something particularly romantic, and their brains (and bodies) say, "now kiss!" For whatever reason, mine just doesn't make that leap.

(Sorry, that probably wasn't a very helpful answer, but you've given me food for thought. Thank you.)


So you're a female version

Jon iz teh kewl: voran: Makes me wonder how much of asexuality is a result of "formerly sexually abused."  Which would make total sense.

totally true


Yeah, I hear that sort of thing can be brought about by PTSD.  Some people evern get Baker Acted for it.
 
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