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(Wisconsin Gazette)   Jesus is getting a makeover   (wisconsingazette.com) divider line 128
    More: Interesting, Crown Publishing Group, Emmylou Harris, childhood sexual abuse, social enterprise, Middle Tennessee, end times, World Vision, Tammy Faye Bakker  
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11948 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 9:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-01 09:13:43 AM  
s13.postimage.org
 
2013-02-01 09:14:23 AM  
I like how Jesus has a tattoo despite being a Jew and having Leviticus 19:28 saying:


"'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.
 
2013-02-01 09:16:18 AM  
Done in one.
 
2013-02-01 09:17:06 AM  

RexTalionis: I like how Jesus has a tattoo despite being a Jew and having Leviticus 19:28 saying:


"'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.


As all the pedo priests will tell you. "Do as I say, not as I do"
 
2013-02-01 09:17:07 AM  

RexTalionis: I like how Jesus has a tattoo despite being a Jew and having Leviticus 19:28 saying:


"'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.



Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.
Oh, wait.  They've been doing that for centuries.
 
2013-02-01 09:17:27 AM  
I don't think they can make him any whiter.
 
2013-02-01 09:18:04 AM  

UberDave: [s13.postimage.org image 300x230]


Never have the words "Done in one" ever been more true.
 
2013-02-01 09:18:09 AM  
God created everything in 6 days and the Earth is only a couple of thousand years old.  But we can remake Jesus at our whim like he was a Barbie doll.
 
2013-02-01 09:18:18 AM  
Are they going to abandon the ridiculous notion that he looked Western European?
/clicks article
.....
They gave him a tattoo.
.....
LOL
 
2013-02-01 09:18:22 AM  
We need a more interesting Jesus anyways.  Vampires are hot, right?   Let's go with the SubGenius idea:  The Vampire Jesus --He gave His blood for you... ...and now he wants it BACK!
 
2013-02-01 09:20:09 AM  

durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.


Except for all of those Roman occupiers.
 
2013-02-01 09:20:19 AM  

durbnpoisn: RexTalionis: I like how Jesus has a tattoo despite being a Jew and having Leviticus 19:28 saying:


"'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.


Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.
Oh, wait.  They've been doing that for centuries.



It is funny.  I'm white and any pictures I have of Jesus are white.  My wife is black and any pictures of Jesus she has are black.  Yet, we're both wrong.  He's from Bethlehem, so he's Middle Eastern.
 
2013-02-01 09:20:59 AM  

Hawnkee: Done in one.


verily verily I say unto thee.
 
2013-02-01 09:21:18 AM  
dinosaurusrex.ca
 
2013-02-01 09:22:41 AM  
duregger.net
 
2013-02-01 09:23:01 AM  

PonceAlyosha: durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.

Except for all of those Roman occupiers.


So you're saying his father was Naughtius Maximus?

www.wearysloth.com
 
2013-02-01 09:23:03 AM  
So they're going after the ghey market finally.
 
2013-02-01 09:23:14 AM  

durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.
Oh, wait.  They've been doing that for centuries.


Reminds me of the review I posted recently on TripAdvisor after my visit to our Holy Land Experience here in Orlando.

"Blasphemous" -- Reviewed January 4, 2013

And I'm not even a Christian!  Though I went with a faithful friend while he was visiting.
 
2013-02-01 09:23:41 AM  

UberDave: [s13.postimage.org image 300x230


"Christ didn't come here to give people the willies."

Line makes me giggle every time.
 
2013-02-01 09:23:51 AM  

abfalter: It is funny. I'm white and any pictures I have of Jesus are white. My wife is black and any pictures of Jesus she has are black. Yet, we're both wrong. He's from Bethlehem, so he's Middle Eastern.


christianyogamagazine.com

Chinese Jesus apparently lived in the Qing dynasty.
 
2013-02-01 09:24:13 AM  

PonceAlyosha: durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.

Except for all of those Roman occupiers.


And the fact that Palestine had been conquered by pretty much every civilization in that extended region. Plus it was at the heart of a gigantic trade network with lots of different races and ethnic groups. Jesus could have been white. Or black. Or Middle Eastern. Who knows.
 
2013-02-01 09:24:14 AM  

abfalter: We need a more interesting Jesus anyways.  Vampires are hot, right?   Let's go with the SubGenius idea:  The Vampire Jesus --He gave His blood for you... ...and now he wants it BACK!


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-01 09:24:38 AM  

Ninja Otter: PonceAlyosha: durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.

Except for all of those Roman occupiers.

So you're saying his father was Naughtius Maximus?

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]


abfalter: It is funny. I'm white and any pictures I have of Jesus are white. My wife is black and any pictures of Jesus she has are black. Yet, we're both wrong. He's from Bethlehem, so he's Middle Eastern.


But if you go by the Bible, we only know half of his lineage, because one half of his DNA is magic. I am of the opinion that Jesus was blue, and frankly there's nothing anyone can cite in the text to prove me wrong.
 
2013-02-01 09:25:16 AM  
twimg0-a.akamaihd.net
 
2013-02-01 09:25:41 AM  

abfalter: durbnpoisn: RexTalionis: I like how Jesus has a tattoo despite being a Jew and having Leviticus 19:28 saying:


"'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.


Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.
Oh, wait.  They've been doing that for centuries.


It is funny.  I'm white and any pictures I have of Jesus are white.  My wife is black and any pictures of Jesus she has are black.  Yet, we're both wrong.  He's from Bethlehem, so he's Middle Eastern.


This.
 
2013-02-01 09:26:52 AM  
As I clicked the thread's link, I was holding my breath hoping that the world would make sense today, at last just a little bit and that Buddy Jesus would be the very Boobies....


And behold, it's a miracle!

The only thing thing that would have make it better would have been a quote:

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now we all know how the majority and the media in this country view the Catholic church. They think of us as a passe, archaic institution. People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey. Now in an effort to disprove all that the church has appointed this year as a time of renewal... both of faith and of style. For example, the crucifix. While it has been a time honored symbol of our faith, Holy Mother Church has decided to retire this highly recognizable, yet wholly depressing image of our Lord crucified. Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies... He came to help us out. He was a booster. And it is with that take on our Lord in mind that we've come up with a new, more inspiring sigil. So it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first of many revamps the "Catholicism WOW. " campaign will unveil over the next year. I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ...  "

/has a Buddy Christ in my home office
 
MFK
2013-02-01 09:26:55 AM  
WWRJD?


/What Would Redneck Jesus Do?
 
2013-02-01 09:26:58 AM  

TerminalEchoes: PonceAlyosha: durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.

Except for all of those Roman occupiers.

And the fact that Palestine had been conquered by pretty much every civilization in that extended region. Plus it was at the heart of a gigantic trade network with lots of different races and ethnic groups. Jesus could have been white. Or black. Or Middle Eastern. Who knows.


As I recall, Judas had to point out Jesus to the Roman authorities who arrested him because he looked so nondescript within a group of 1st century Jews that it's difficult to tell him apart otherwise.
 
2013-02-01 09:28:02 AM  
If he's Middle Eastern, he could be from Detroit.
 
2013-02-01 09:28:11 AM  
And they need to edit the Bible so it more accurately reflects God's actual words as the evangelicals know them. Just too many places where the Bible contradicts the True Religion.
 
2013-02-01 09:28:46 AM  
argh,... didn't think of the filter...after all these years...
 
2013-02-01 09:28:49 AM  

RexTalionis: TerminalEchoes: PonceAlyosha: durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.

Except for all of those Roman occupiers.

And the fact that Palestine had been conquered by pretty much every civilization in that extended region. Plus it was at the heart of a gigantic trade network with lots of different races and ethnic groups. Jesus could have been white. Or black. Or Middle Eastern. Who knows.

As I recall, Judas had to point out Jesus to the Roman authorities who arrested him because he looked so nondescript within a group of 1st century Jews that it's difficult to tell him apart otherwise.


Crap, you're right. Thanks for correcting me.
 
2013-02-01 09:29:57 AM  

natazha: And they need to edit the Bible so it more accurately reflects God's actual words as the evangelicals know them. Just too many places where the Bible contradicts the True Religion.


That would make the bible fairly short..

"Don't be or stop being a dick" barely fills a single line.
 
2013-02-01 09:30:46 AM  

imfallen_angel: natazha: And they need to edit the Bible so it more accurately reflects God's actual words as the evangelicals know them. Just too many places where the Bible contradicts the True Religion.

That would make the bible fairly short..

"Don't be or stop being a dick" barely fills a single line.


But that single line contradicts the True Religion, so that's out.
 
2013-02-01 09:31:53 AM  
Queue "a our God is an awesome God"

/i thought tattoos were the mark of evil
 
2013-02-01 09:31:54 AM  
i48.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-01 09:32:29 AM  
www.themightymjd.com
/hot
 
2013-02-01 09:35:03 AM  

imfallen_angel: argh,... didn't think of the filter...after all these years...


Ha! Tits on you.
 
2013-02-01 09:35:08 AM  
img300.imageshack.us
 
2013-02-01 09:35:37 AM  

durbnpoisn: RexTalionis: I like how Jesus has a tattoo despite being a Jew and having Leviticus 19:28 saying:


"'Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.


Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.
Oh, wait.  They've been doing that for centuries.


Define "white".

Other than that, yeah, I agree. This whole rerouting of the "character" of Jesus is getting annoying. You don't take the J-Man for what he looked like, you took Him for His teachings.
 
2013-02-01 09:36:49 AM  
It's about damn time. That whole "robe & sash" look is so 2000 years ago. And that hair!...well, that's kinda came back in, actually.
 
2013-02-01 09:38:40 AM  

RexTalionis: imfallen_angel: natazha: And they need to edit the Bible so it more accurately reflects God's actual words as the evangelicals know them. Just too many places where the Bible contradicts the True Religion.

That would make the bible fairly short..

"Don't be or stop being a dick" barely fills a single line.

But that single line contradicts the True Religion, so that's out.


Well, to be honest here, not many follow that rule, religious or not.
 
2013-02-01 09:39:06 AM  

abhorrent1: [img300.imageshack.us image 474x600]


Why is there a skull on the table? shiat. I know some hardcore motherf*ckers. People who may very well sit in their shiathole apartments with peeling paint and cigarettes and whiskey and a gun on the table. I don't think I know anyone who keeps a human skull as a table piece.
 
2013-02-01 09:39:07 AM  

PonceAlyosha: Ninja Otter: PonceAlyosha: durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.

Except for all of those Roman occupiers.

So you're saying his father was Naughtius Maximus?

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

abfalter: It is funny. I'm white and any pictures I have of Jesus are white. My wife is black and any pictures of Jesus she has are black. Yet, we're both wrong. He's from Bethlehem, so he's Middle Eastern.

But if you go by the Bible, we only know half of his lineage, because one half of his DNA is magic. I am of the opinion that Jesus was blue, and frankly there's nothing anyone can cite in the text to prove me wrong.


Forcefields. Your argument is invalid.
 
2013-02-01 09:39:36 AM  

kid_icarus: It's about damn time. That whole "robe & sash" look is so 2000 years ago. And that hair!...well, that's kinda came back in, actually.


Jesus can totally pull off "trucker chic."
 
2013-02-01 09:40:41 AM  

kid_icarus: PonceAlyosha: Ninja Otter: PonceAlyosha: durbnpoisn: Not to mention that he is depicted as a white guy while being from an area with no white people.

Except for all of those Roman occupiers.

So you're saying his father was Naughtius Maximus?

[www.wearysloth.com image 320x240]

abfalter: It is funny. I'm white and any pictures I have of Jesus are white. My wife is black and any pictures of Jesus she has are black. Yet, we're both wrong. He's from Bethlehem, so he's Middle Eastern.

But if you go by the Bible, we only know half of his lineage, because one half of his DNA is magic. I am of the opinion that Jesus was blue, and frankly there's nothing anyone can cite in the text to prove me wrong.

Forcefields. Your argument is invalid.


cdn1.screenrant.com
 
2013-02-01 09:42:52 AM  
I actually knew a lot of these people - from a really super conservative evangelical background who started to be more "liberal" as soon as they moved out of their parent's house. I call them "morons".

//If something is true, it's true.
///If something is not true, it's not true.
////Don't keep re-casting your experiences and opinions based on what your parents told versus how much you like to drink and fark.
 
2013-02-01 09:46:09 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: I don't think they can make him any whiter.


Yes they could, but the alabaster white skin and red eyes tested poorly with most of the focus group.
 
2013-02-01 09:46:21 AM  
Yeah, this whole "liberal Jesus" thing is nothing more than the latest reequilibration with society. Religious folk love to pretend that God is a static tower of virtue that rings true throughout the ages, but the lines are always being redrawn. The church fights a never ending social war, lagging behind the progressives of the time, balancing their desire to maintain regressive status quo with the need to remain relevant. The church has rarely been at the vanguard of any positive social movement. They like to lay claim to having been active abolitionists now that slavery is 150 years removed, but other than the Quakers, most sects were pretty indifferent, including the Catholics and Episcopalians.
 
2013-02-01 09:46:42 AM  

ModernLuddite: I actually knew a lot of these people - from a really super conservative evangelical background who started to be more "liberal" as soon as they moved out of their parent's house. I call them "morons".

//If something is true, it's true.
///If something is not true, it's not true.
////Don't keep re-casting your experiences and opinions based on what your parents told versus how much you like to drink and fark.


Yeah but to their credit, they're trying to promote more of the "peace, love, and tolerance" Jesus taught rather than the damnation, fire, and brimstone that hardline Christians promote, which is exactly what makes people ridicule Christians. I'm in favor of the new movement.
 
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