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(Daily Mail)   What is worse than attending the funeral of your wife?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 68
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21829 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 8:57 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-01 09:00:54 AM
Attending the funeral of your wife...on fire?

/dnrtfa
 
2013-02-01 09:01:02 AM
Opening the casket at the funeral and finding the naked mortician cuddled up with your wife?
 
2013-02-01 09:04:10 AM
Divorce when you cannot afford a good lawyer?
 
2013-02-01 09:04:13 AM
Attending the funeral of your mistress?
 
2013-02-01 09:05:50 AM
Anyone attending your funeral?
 
2013-02-01 09:07:38 AM
Skipping your wife's funeral?
 
2013-02-01 09:08:01 AM
<i>
The couple's traumatised daughter told the publication the family questioned the undertakers about the body swap and claimed staff initially tried to convince them they had delivered the right body.</i>

Looks like they should have put a few more points into their diplomacy skill.
 
2013-02-01 09:08:07 AM
Burying your child.
 
2013-02-01 09:11:09 AM
FTFA: The family tried to stop the funeral service but organisers convinced them to go ahead as planned.

I'm not normally one for lawsuits, but in this case sue the shiat out of them.
 
2013-02-01 09:11:50 AM
It is South Africa. It is being reported in the UK instead of some African publication. I'm not really surprised that such a backward, undeveloped place has problems.
 
2013-02-01 09:15:24 AM
Meeting her 7 boyfriends there?
 
2013-02-01 09:16:13 AM
I was more interested in the pot head first year teacher with the "joke" twitter account posting nude pics linked at the bottom.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2270383/Carly-McKinney-High- sc hool-teacher-23-tweeted-nude-photos-called-students-JAIL-BAIT-talked-g etting-high.html?ICO=most_read_module

No, I haven't submitted a headline, so feel free, and yes, she is kind of cute.
 
2013-02-01 09:17:45 AM

Farce-Side: I was more interested in the pot head first year teacher with the "joke" twitter account posting nude pics linked at the bottom.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2270383/Carly-McKinney-High- sc hool-teacher-23-tweeted-nude-photos-called-students-JAIL-BAIT-talked-g etting-high.html?ICO=most_read_module

No, I haven't submitted a headline, so feel free, and yes, she is kind of cute.


Been done already. I think there are a few threads about it.
 
2013-02-01 09:19:01 AM
Your wife attending your funeral?
 
2013-02-01 09:19:07 AM
It really depends on the wife.
 
2013-02-01 09:19:11 AM
Q: What do you do if you see your wife staggering in the back yard?

A: Shoot her again...


/I keed, I keed...
 
2013-02-01 09:20:52 AM

ronaprhys: Farce-Side: I was more interested in the pot head first year teacher with the "joke" twitter account posting nude pics linked at the bottom.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2270383/Carly-McKinney-High- sc hool-teacher-23-tweeted-nude-photos-called-students-JAIL-BAIT-talked-g etting-high.html?ICO=most_read_module

No, I haven't submitted a headline, so feel free, and yes, she is kind of cute.

Been done already. I think there are a few threads about it.


Seems I need some coffee.
 
2013-02-01 09:27:59 AM
Take my wife please....my wife is so old ,when she walks by the cemetery  the gravediggers chase her with shovels.
 
2013-02-01 09:31:32 AM
You may find yourself in a funeral with some dude's corpse
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
 
2013-02-01 09:32:34 AM

SpdrJay: Opening the casket at the funeral and finding the naked mortician cuddled up with your wife?




WINNAR!!
 
2013-02-01 09:35:14 AM
Attending your wedding?
 
2013-02-01 09:35:45 AM
Finding out she may yet be alive!
 
2013-02-01 09:41:51 AM
This guy can relate

img2.bdbphotos.com
 
2013-02-01 09:42:44 AM
This is not my beautiful wife.

/same as it ever was
 
2013-02-01 09:48:00 AM
Motherfarking Funeral Homes, fark em.

My best friend died about 4 years ago and we had his funeral.  For the procession they displayed him in an open casket that was about 5 feet in length.  He was 6 foot 4 inches.  They had broken his legs to fit him in the coffin.  Modern funeral homes are run by carneys and gypsies who have tired of roaming.  If you go there for any reason to do business, prepare to be grifted and farked over.
 
2013-02-01 09:52:19 AM
Well, there goes her cunning plan of faking her death to escape her husband.
 
2013-02-01 09:53:54 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com

/wanted for questioning
 
2013-02-01 09:57:21 AM
Winning the Powerball jackpot?
 
2013-02-01 09:57:32 AM
'That's not mummy'

Was it a vampire instead?
 
2013-02-01 09:59:50 AM
Not to get sidetracked or anything but this pic is a heck of a good advertisement for Cape Town.  Looks gorgeous!

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-02-01 10:03:00 AM

Amicable Pie Fight: same as it ever was



Same as it ever was
 
2013-02-01 10:03:29 AM
having her mother hit on you afterwards?
 
2013-02-01 10:05:56 AM

Ned Stark: Skipping your wife's funeral?


Had a acquaintance in the neighborhood who did this. Very anti social, but not in a mean way, just did not like to be around people except for his wife. When she died he planned a private graveside service, but her side of the family pushed and wanted the viewing, church service, procession to the cemetery, etc. He told them if they wanted it they could pay for it, and they did. So he went early before the viewing to see her laid out, then left and skipped everything else.
 
2013-02-01 10:07:33 AM

StrikitRich: Burying your child.


Don't they have people who can do that for you?
 
2013-02-01 10:07:39 AM
Picking her up from the goddam airport. Would it kill her to get a cab?
 
2013-02-01 10:08:19 AM

orclover: Motherfarking Funeral Homes, fark em.

My best friend died about 4 years ago and we had his funeral.  For the procession they displayed him in an open casket that was about 5 feet in length.  He was 6 foot 4 inches.  They had broken his legs to fit him in the coffin.  Modern funeral homes are run by carneys and gypsies who have tired of roaming.  If you go there for any reason to do business, prepare to be grifted and farked over.


Maybe the family couldn't afford a larger coffin.
 
2013-02-01 10:13:27 AM
Wait, that would be a BAD thing?
 
2013-02-01 10:17:54 AM
I guess the widower needs someone to find his wife's body. By any chance, was he named Mankrik?
 
2013-02-01 10:27:57 AM

steamingpile: orclover: Motherfarking Funeral Homes, fark em.

My best friend died about 4 years ago and we had his funeral.  For the procession they displayed him in an open casket that was about 5 feet in length.  He was 6 foot 4 inches.  They had broken his legs to fit him in the coffin.  Modern funeral homes are run by carneys and gypsies who have tired of roaming.  If you go there for any reason to do business, prepare to be grifted and farked over.

Maybe the family couldn't afford a larger coffin.


From what I hear they had run out of larger coffins and rather than delay or buy a larger "viewing" coffin they just did the easy thing and cut him down to put him in a smaller one they had on hand.


I have simple instructions for my body.  Do whatever with it you feel comfortable doing.  Whatever you spend is for your own ego, not mine.  I would prefer to spend my last solid moments on a pile of cheap fallen logs 5 feet high turning my body to ashes scattered to the winds at a net cost of 0.  If your going to spend money then build a mile high trebuchet and hurl my body into the sun.  Should be fun to watch at least.
 
2013-02-01 10:28:56 AM
'My daughter came to me and said: 'That's not mummy', and then I knew this was a big mistake.'


s4.postimage.org

THAT'S a mummy.
 
2013-02-01 10:35:31 AM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Amicable Pie Fight: same as it ever was


Same as it ever was


Same as it ever was
 
2013-02-01 10:39:04 AM
Attending the funeral of your in-laws...

Oh. Wait.

You meant sad. I meant the best day of my life.

.
..
...
Hate my in-laws.
 
2013-02-01 10:43:58 AM

jtown: Not to get sidetracked or anything but this pic is a heck of a good advertisement for Cape Town.  Looks gorgeous!


I thought the same thing. In my mind that is a picture of the southernmost tip of Africa. I'm not going to spoil it by actually looking it up.
 
2013-02-01 11:06:44 AM
Meeting her midget lesbian lover, who demands some inheritNce money?

Obscure?
 
2013-02-01 11:06:45 AM
attending her mother's funeral, drunk and stoned while waving a bottle of Johnie Walker Black and singing Guns N' Roses - Used To Love  Her
 
2013-02-01 11:22:39 AM

orclover: steamingpile: orclover: Motherfarking Funeral Homes, fark em.

My best friend died about 4 years ago and we had his funeral.  For the procession they displayed him in an open casket that was about 5 feet in length.  He was 6 foot 4 inches.  They had broken his legs to fit him in the coffin.  Modern funeral homes are run by carneys and gypsies who have tired of roaming.  If you go there for any reason to do business, prepare to be grifted and farked over.

Maybe the family couldn't afford a larger coffin.

From what I hear they had run out of larger coffins and rather than delay or buy a larger "viewing" coffin they just did the easy thing and cut him down to put him in a smaller one they had on hand.


I have simple instructions for my body.  Do whatever with it you feel comfortable doing.  Whatever you spend is for your own ego, not mine.  I would prefer to spend my last solid moments on a pile of cheap fallen logs 5 feet high turning my body to ashes scattered to the winds at a net cost of 0.  If your going to spend money then build a mile high trebuchet and hurl my body into the sun.  Should be fun to watch at least.


I'm going to Medical School.

/Coworker asked, 'To be a doctor?'
//No stupid to be a cadaver.
 
2013-02-01 11:32:32 AM
"Switch the heads on 1 and 2."
 
2013-02-01 11:51:45 AM

StrikitRich: Burying your child.


i141.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-01 11:56:38 AM
Well, it could be if she woke up and sat up.  Talk about a tease!
 
2013-02-01 12:03:07 PM

cakeman: Take my wife please....my wife is so old ,when she walks by the cemetery  the gravediggers chase her with shovels.


I'm so old, I was visiting some friends' gravesites and the gravedigger looked at me and said, "Why bother going home?"
 
2013-02-01 12:08:43 PM

jtown: Not to get sidetracked or anything but this pic is a heck of a good advertisement for Cape Town.  Looks gorgeous!

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x435]


It looks like Sim City
 
2013-02-01 12:11:10 PM

TheGogmagog: orclover: steamingpile: orclover: Motherfarking Funeral Homes, fark em.

My best friend died about 4 years ago and we had his funeral.  For the procession they displayed him in an open casket that was about 5 feet in length.  He was 6 foot 4 inches.  They had broken his legs to fit him in the coffin.  Modern funeral homes are run by carneys and gypsies who have tired of roaming.  If you go there for any reason to do business, prepare to be grifted and farked over.

Maybe the family couldn't afford a larger coffin.

From what I hear they had run out of larger coffins and rather than delay or buy a larger "viewing" coffin they just did the easy thing and cut him down to put him in a smaller one they had on hand.


I have simple instructions for my body.  Do whatever with it you feel comfortable doing.  Whatever you spend is for your own ego, not mine.  I would prefer to spend my last solid moments on a pile of cheap fallen logs 5 feet high turning my body to ashes scattered to the winds at a net cost of 0.  If your going to spend money then build a mile high trebuchet and hurl my body into the sun.  Should be fun to watch at least.

I'm going to Medical School.

/Coworker asked, 'To be a doctor?'
//No stupid to be a cadaver.


I would but I hate doctors.  The hippocratic oath means nothing and every doctor I have met has been a pill pusher making a commission from the drug companies.  They dont even bother to deny it.  I hate doctors slightly less than I hate dentist, and lawyers.

/yea yea I know, till I need one.
//the guy pissing on you when your on fire you should not thank if he's also holding a bucket of water
 
2013-02-01 12:26:29 PM
Not attending her funeral and banging her sister instead.
 
2013-02-01 12:27:36 PM
Having a giant Jack-in-the-box pop out.
 
2013-02-01 12:56:04 PM
going through the rest of of your life knowing that she's out there, somewhere...........waiting.
 
2013-02-01 01:06:55 PM

KatjaMouse: This guy can relate

[img2.bdbphotos.com image 376x253]


"My wife was an exceptional woma-.. that's... not my wife."
 
2013-02-01 02:15:36 PM
I agree about the Cape Town pic. I had to study on it hard to see if it wasn't some CGI thing from one of those video games that are so popular with the young folks these days.

I also liked this:
Mr Galant said: 'I opened my wife's casket and she didn't look right.
'My daughter came to me and said: 'That's not mummy', and then I knew this was a big mistake.'

It's always wise to get a second opinion when you are trying to identify your wife.
I sure do, especially at parties.
 
2013-02-01 03:43:54 PM
Attending the funeral of a child.......which I will be doing this weekend.  UGH
 
2013-02-01 04:06:04 PM

Friend_Computer: Attending the funeral of your mistress?


How about attending the funeral of your wife and finding the body of your mistress inside the casket?  That would be a clear message.
 
2013-02-01 07:32:08 PM
mommy that's not her!  now here's aour town!!i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-02-01 08:58:15 PM

Savage Bacon: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Amicable Pie Fight: same as it ever was

Same as it ever was

Same as it ever was


Same... as... it... ever was!
 
2013-02-01 08:59:44 PM

trappedspirit: StrikitRich: Burying your child.

[i141.photobucket.com image 315x225]



Seriously.  I think I'll go slit my wrists now.

/hard to do with an electric razor
 
2013-02-01 09:01:17 PM
What is worse than attending the funeral of your wife?

Finding out about all her unpaid maxed-out credit card accounts afterwards.
 
2013-02-01 09:13:44 PM

orclover: TheGogmagog: orclover: steamingpile: orclover: Motherfarking Funeral Homes, fark em.

My best friend died about 4 years ago and we had his funeral.  For the procession they displayed him in an open casket that was about 5 feet in length.  He was 6 foot 4 inches.  They had broken his legs to fit him in the coffin.  Modern funeral homes are run by carneys and gypsies who have tired of roaming.  If you go there for any reason to do business, prepare to be grifted and farked over.

Maybe the family couldn't afford a larger coffin.

From what I hear they had run out of larger coffins and rather than delay or buy a larger "viewing" coffin they just did the easy thing and cut him down to put him in a smaller one they had on hand.


I have simple instructions for my body.  Do whatever with it you feel comfortable doing.  Whatever you spend is for your own ego, not mine.  I would prefer to spend my last solid moments on a pile of cheap fallen logs 5 feet high turning my body to ashes scattered to the winds at a net cost of 0.  If your going to spend money then build a mile high trebuchet and hurl my body into the sun.  Should be fun to watch at least.

I'm going to Medical School.

/Coworker asked, 'To be a doctor?'
//No stupid to be a cadaver.

I would but I hate doctors.  The hippocratic oath means nothing and every doctor I have met has been a pill pusher making a commission from the drug companies.  They dont even bother to deny it.  I hate doctors slightly less than I hate dentist, and lawyers.

/yea yea I know, till I need one.
//the guy pissing on you when your on fire you should not thank if he's also holding a bucket of water


I hate doctors too. I have severe pain every single day due to severe fibromyalgia. Like 9 out of 10 pain every day. There is ONE damn dr near me that dispenses opiates on a continuous basis. She will not dispense enough to get me through even a quarter of the day. I practically beg for more pills when I see her. I have such severe depression over this. I'm seriously considering moving to Miami FL and I freakin hate FL with a passion. At least there it will be easy to get the opiates I need.
Not all Dr's are pill pushers, even when the patient has a legitimate need.
I'm in northern MI btw. Don't move here if you have chronic pain.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-01 10:33:09 PM

jpo2269: Q: What do you do if you see your wife staggering in the back yard?

A: Shoot her again...


/I keed, I keed...


Tell her to quit drinking?
Take away her pills?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-01 11:12:21 PM
What is worse than attending the funeral of your wife?

Finding out while doing the autopsy she was preggers?

/i went there, so what? think about it. it happened to a colleague of mine. he decided to take his car for a test flight.
 
2013-02-02 12:43:30 AM
Attending the funeral of your son or daughter.
 
2013-02-02 11:53:29 PM
I'd have to say nothing.

Attended the funeral of my wife of 33 yrs on the Thursday before last.

Nothing can prepare you for sudden death.

Trying to put the pieces back together, not looking for sympathy.
 
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