And here I thought he was a good doctor.

the ads on the link are trying to kill me

Four items, fear rating low to extremely low.

Your cat is more a threat than this list.

Hmmm...

Pressboard furniture ≠ House
Couch ≠ House
Microwave ≠ House

And, while Granite counter tops are part of Real Property instead of Chattel Property, I don't have granite counter tops, so no, my house isn't trying to kill me.

Probably yes? Did subby read the same article I just did?

The Axe vapors in the bathroom after my teen finishes preening are more likely to kill me.

For a small price, I can install this little  blue button to get you down . . .

It used to be that people feared that microwaves made food radioactive.

wildcardjack: Four items, fear rating low to extremely low.

Your cat is more a threat than this list.

Yes, the risks are low compared to the extreme and deadly risk of a terrorist hiding under your bed.

Thru mortgage payments related stress?

gryhnd: Probably yes? Did subby read the same article I just did?

The Axe vapors in the bathroom after my teen finishes preening are more likely to kill me.

Is it wrong that I actually miss the overwhelming reek of Aquanet as compared to the modern stuff?

/and watching goths occasionally spontaneously combust when lighting up a cigarette was an amusing fringe-benefit too

Here's my list:

1) Cleaning the lint out of the dryer catch-thingy, only to have it appear back magically before you do more laundry

2) Inhaling uncovered insulation particles in the attic because the wifey *just knows* she misplaced her favorite shoes/sweater/something up there in a box, somewhere

3) All those missing pens/pencils suddenly spill out of the walls, floor boards or wherever and are now just waiting for you to come into the kitchen for a mid night glass of water.

4) No one flushed the toilet but damnit, the shower water is 3rd-degree-burn-hot for some reason.

I once received a FWD; fw: RE, fwd; Forward, email that contained scientific proof that microwave ovens are killing you.  The scientists mentioned in the email had watered one plant with tap water, and watered another plant with water that had been microwaved and cooled to room temp.  The tap-watered plant grew bigger and healthier than the microwaved-watered plant because the microwaves had "damaged the DNA of the water."

Yes.

It's even worse if your house is depressed enough to get suicidal. You should move it to a better neighborhood to help its mood.