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(Globe and Mail)   My neighbour walks her girlfriend on a leash. How do I register my disapproval?   (theglobeandmail.com) divider line 83
    More: Dumbass, Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett, shrimps, interpersonal relationship, girlfriend  
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18055 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 8:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-02-01 05:38:08 AM  
7 votes:

Twitch Boy: Punch him in the face.


Reread the headline and article, it's a lesbian couple.

FTA: But I don't love having to explain S&M role-play to my four-year old...

Can we all just officially conclude that "I don't want to have to take time to explain your actions to my offspring so just stop doing what I don't like" is a pathetically lazy and worthless argument? It's your damn kid, take responsibility for raising them and answering their questions about the world they're in instead of thrusting the responsibility on others to alter their behaviour to fit your particular idea of what the world should be.

/the woman is clearly an AW anyway, so who cares?
2013-02-01 09:41:29 AM  
5 votes:
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that most everyone in this thread who is defending the kinky couple and advocating that the parent mind their own business, etc. doesn't have kids of their own. I may be wrong, but it's just a hunch. Explaining things like this to kids is never as simple as you make it sound.

That having been said I just have to know out of curiosity - where is your line? There have to be some kinds of behavior that are unacceptable in public and I just want to know what would finally cross that line for you? I personally find the behavior of the couple in question rude, selfish and attention whorish at best. I'm fine with whatever they want to do in their own home/bedroom/torture chamber and I don't care about the gay/lesbian thing either. But there's gotta be a line somewhere. Where's yours?
2013-02-01 07:52:43 AM  
5 votes:
Just say to your kid, "They're crazy people. Stay away from them."
2013-02-02 12:25:34 AM  
4 votes:
cdn-www.i-am-bored.com
2013-02-01 10:39:19 AM  
4 votes:
Two lesbians out for a stroll
Elicited comments quite droll.
"I'm not irked in the least
By the use of your leash
I'm just annoyed that you're a troll"
2013-02-01 10:27:59 AM  
4 votes:

WhippingBoy: Bullshiat. So if I go to a kindergarten school bus stop and start screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, people should just mind their business and "let me do my thing"?


CSB: the local planned parenthood holds abortions on Wednesdays.  This prompted the usual religious folk to stand outside with graphic, poster-sized placards of fetuses that have been "aborted" (though "having been through a meat grinder" is probably a more appropriate description- which in turn wonders at how much money changes hands for these people to eventually wind up with this sort of photography).

Problem: The local middle school bus route runs right by there at protest prime-time.  Parents were apparently upset that their loinspawn were exposed to this kind of imagery.

The protesters- people who might in different circumstances, be found making the very same sort of complaint over sex education in schools, had this to say:

"It's good for the young children to see these things.  It will deter them from doing it themselves."

Aside from the rampant hypocrisy of this sort of juxtaposition, there's a rather severe logic problem: namely that- by this rationale, making my 3-year-old watch Faces of Death at least five times a day  should make him the most mild-mannered child going.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.  It apparently seems to me mostly an issue of "what I don't like", and far less an issue of "thinking about the children".
2013-02-01 08:11:54 AM  
4 votes:
If your fetish involves eliciting a reaction from your unwitting neighbors, you're basically committing rape.
I'd say the best course of action is for everybody to totally ignore them, so they won't be able to get off on the thrill anymore.
Better yet, have everybody walk their significant others around on a leash.  Let these girls know they're just like all the other boring suburbanites, and their dog role play thing isn't "edgy" anymore.

/Also, let me know where this neighborhood is once that happens, so I can move there...
2013-02-01 09:45:24 AM  
3 votes:

sundance1028: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that most everyone in this thread who is defending the kinky couple and advocating that the parent mind their own business, etc. doesn't have kids of their own. I may be wrong, but it's just a hunch. Explaining things like this to kids is never as simple as you make it sound.

That having been said I just have to know out of curiosity - where is your line? There have to be some kinds of behavior that are unacceptable in public and I just want to know what would finally cross that line for you? I personally find the behavior of the couple in question rude, selfish and attention whorish at best. I'm fine with whatever they want to do in their own home/bedroom/torture chamber and I don't care about the gay/lesbian thing either. But there's gotta be a line somewhere. Where's yours?


There's one thing you need to know about Fark: The people that dispense all the parenting advice, and "know" what's best for kids? They're the ones that don't have children.
2013-02-01 09:34:51 AM  
3 votes:
I love all the "mind your own farking business" responses when we're talking about people intentionally doing unusual things in public....

You don't get to yell "mind your own farking business" at people on a public street because they're watching you intentionally try to draw attention to yourself. That's the whole reason attention whores like these two do things like this, after all.

You don't want to explain it to your kid? Don't. Tell them they're just trying to get people to look at them.

You want to annoy them back? Ignore them.
2013-02-01 09:14:06 AM  
3 votes:

stratagos: Ok, everyone is wrong here.

* The couple is nonconsentually involving others in their private life. That is, at the very least, rude.


Yeah the only thing wrong here is that the two are obviously a couple of attention whores.  At the same time, how hard is it to tell your kid, "they're just being silly" and leave it at that?
2013-02-01 07:46:39 AM  
3 votes:

stratagos: * The couple is nonconsentually involving others in their private life. That is, at the very least, rude.


This. Part of the BDSM scene is safe/sane/consensual. Involving others in your play who didn't consent to be there is a violation of that tenet.
2013-02-01 05:02:24 PM  
2 votes:
It's not their problem you're offended.  So it is rude to ask them to change their behavior which is perfectly acceptable.  Walking someone on a leash has no effect on you or your children.  None.
2013-02-01 04:13:16 PM  
2 votes:

Bedstead Polisher: sandi_fish: How about telling your kid that what they do is none of anybody's damn business?  It's not.  MYOB.

It's not?
Why do I have to wear clothes then? Could I just walk around naked and tell people who object "It's none of your business!"?


Well. it is against the law wear no clothing in public.  What they are doing is not illegal.  Do you see the difference there genius?
2013-02-01 04:10:04 PM  
2 votes:

mikefinch: why is it that the weirdos of the world get to dictate what age my kids are when they come into contact with this crap?

I know kids ask questions and those questions need to be answered honestly. I get that.

dopekitty74: Just tell the kid people are different and some people like the way the collar looks and feels.

WHY? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??? is the incessant cry of the child. And "because" isnt going to cut it. If you cant give them an answer they will take it to a teacher or something similar: "Teacher - why does the girl outside my house like the way collars feel?"  Its not so simple as just brushing their questions away with dumbed down answers.

What they are doing is just plain rude. Whats wrong with polite discourse? The worst thing that can happen is the girl keeps walking her friend in some misguided defiance of your request.

Be polite. Explain WHY its an issue and try to give an alternate option that is reasonable and not some backhanded compromise. Try to find someway to put them into your shoes and let them see things from your perspective. The whole explaining in a nonthreatening manner and then trying to compromise thing can be uncomfortable -- but it works. For some reason i can't explain; acting like a kind, reasonable, considerate and intelligent human being who is willing to listen WORKS.

Its uncomfortable and WAY harder to do than it sounds but it gets really great results. You just need them to sit back for even a half a second to ask themselves "Am i being a jerk?"  and allot of people will feel guilty about causing such a nice person such discomfort. but lets look at what can go right and wrong-
1: The girl agrees and changes her schedule. You thank them. Your child plays innocent and happy.
2: The crazy biatch snaps and bites your nose off like a crazy Saigon whore... You call the police and she is arrested and good thing to because seriously who does that?
3: they flip you off with a rude comment and continue their doggy walks. Noth ...


Take some advice from someone smarter than you (substitute gays with anything that "freaks" you out)

"It doesn't have any effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it's a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say, "How am I supposed to explain to my children that two men are getting married?... I dunno. It's your sh*tty kid. You f*ckin' tell 'em. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in LOVE and they can't get married because you don't want to talk to your ugly child for five f*ckin' minutes?" - Louis C.K.
2013-02-01 01:37:22 PM  
2 votes:
When my kids ask me questions like this, I just say some people are wierd and it is ok to be wierd.
2013-02-01 12:12:29 PM  
2 votes:
sundance1028:  may be wrong, but it's just a hunch.

That having been said I just have to know out of curiosity - where is your line?


I have kids. 10 and 6.
They see mixed ethnic relationships, they see same sex relationships, they see happy couples, divorced couples, couples who are terrible to each other, etc.

I would treat this like i do most things they see.
What they are doing is between them and as long as they are not hurting each other or anyone else, then I will just hope they are happy together. I reinforce that they (my kids) do not have to act that way but when they get older those types of things might look different to them and they can come talk to me about anything they want. At that point they either go, "ok, Dad is cool with that." or they ask more questions. All of which I try to answer with a balance of intelligence, honesty, and age appropriateness.

Where is the line?
- Sexual Nudity in public. Nude beach or sunbathing who cares? Two folks getting undressed in the park to fark on a blanket, I might say something.
- Violence and Abuse: Yes, I interceded in obvious public domestic abuse or violent individuals. You just have to determine your risk as to whether you "call in" in help or speak up yourself.

When my kids see me ACT on something, they know I am dead serious that whatever that is is NOT ok in any way (based on my morals, beliefs, and decision-making). Otherwise, intelligent and heartfelt discussions rule the day.
2013-02-01 11:02:28 AM  
2 votes:
I live the BDSM life every day, and my slaves are collared 24/7. In fact the Collar of Intent is literally a dog collar from Petco, complete with vibrant color. I however would never parade my slave outside in public on a leash because while it is consensual between us, it is not for any bystanders. There are plenty of BDSM events to take them out on a leash, where people are voluntarily submitting themselves to witness things that push the envelope of normal human behavior. Your neighbors, ya not so much and that kind of play is considered BORK and not RACK.
2013-02-01 10:55:41 AM  
2 votes:
I don't know why I waste my breath. I'm clearly too stupid to make any sort of salient point...
2013-02-01 10:34:45 AM  
2 votes:

mikefinch: why is it that the weirdos of the world get to dictate what age my kids are when they come into contact with this crap?


If you don't like your children being exposed to the people of the world (of which "weirdos" represent a significant portion), you're free to keep them sequestered safely at home for as long as you like.
2013-02-01 09:33:16 AM  
2 votes:
When they walk by just say, "Gee, how fifty shades of you." Then just giggle and stroll away.
2013-02-01 09:32:22 AM  
2 votes:

abhorrent1: What do I tell my kid?

tell them to mind their own farking business.


By going out in public, these people have made it everyone's business.
2013-02-01 09:23:34 AM  
2 votes:

stratagos: Ok, everyone is wrong here.

* The couple is nonconsentually involving others in their private life. That is, at the very least, rude.

* The parent needs to step up and be a parent. If they thinl snowflake is going to go through life and never be exposed to anything not on Leave It To Beaver, they're insane. They shouldn't go out of their way to *expose* their kid to wacky stuff, but they damn should be ready to explain if the kid sees something and has a question


QFT.  Plus, I came here to say it.

Fact is, people are going to do things in front of your kids.  When they do, explain it to them.

I have friends that purposely say things like, "I don't expose my kids to that sort of thing."  Oh, really?!  Who do you expect to explain it to them when someone ELSE exposes them.
2013-02-01 09:02:04 AM  
2 votes:

miss diminutive: Twitch Boy: Punch him in the face.

Reread the headline and article, it's a lesbian couple.

FTA: But I don't love having to explain S&M role-play to my four-year old...

Can we all just officially conclude that "I don't want to have to take time to explain your actions to my offspring so just stop doing what I don't like" is a pathetically lazy and worthless argument? It's your damn kid, take responsibility for raising them and answering their questions about the world they're in instead of thrusting the responsibility on others to alter their behaviour to fit your particular idea of what the world should be.

/the woman is clearly an AW anyway, so who cares?


THAT

And while you're at it, stop assuming your own Puritanical viewpoint is the only acceptable viewpoint.
2013-02-01 08:47:03 AM  
2 votes:
How do I register my disapproval?

You could move.
2013-02-01 07:35:56 AM  
2 votes:

what_now: (Last fall, my wife Pam was riding her bike sans helmet and a woman in an SUV pulled up, rolled down her window and said: "Did you forget your helmet or are you just stupid?"

She has a point.


and you're in the wrong thread.
2013-02-01 06:13:56 AM  
2 votes:
Ok, everyone is wrong here.

* The couple is nonconsentually involving others in their private life. That is, at the very least, rude.

* The parent needs to step up and be a parent. If they thinl snowflake is going to go through life and never be exposed to anything not on Leave It To Beaver, they're insane. They shouldn't go out of their way to *expose* their kid to wacky stuff, but they damn should be ready to explain if the kid sees something and has a question
2013-02-01 05:02:06 PM  
1 votes:

Richard C Stanford: So just to review:

A Cristmas tree on public land=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!


if that's how you choose to frame the issue then it's no wonder the world looks very strange to you.

A different way of framing it might be:

Things done by the state are held to different standards than things done by private individuals.
2013-02-01 04:14:54 PM  
1 votes:
You just tell your kid "Those people are crazy.  Stay away from them".

The same way you would with the Blacks, Jews, Gays, etc.
2013-02-01 03:43:50 PM  
1 votes:

Richard C Stanford: So just to review:

A Cristmas tree on public land while not allowing other religious holiday icons=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!


You left out an important part, so I added it in to remove confusion...
2013-02-01 03:40:49 PM  
1 votes:
Here's the best idea if you people like that... become their friend!!!  They will have the good drugs!

Also, minding your own business is a perfectly acceptable response to their walks.  As for the daughter's question, an "I don't know" is acceptable... seeing as how until you talk to them, you really don't know.
2013-02-01 03:30:38 PM  
1 votes:
Kid: Why is that person on a leash?

Me: I dunno. They want to be I suppose.

Kid: But why?

Me: We all have our sins kiddo...
2013-02-01 03:29:47 PM  
1 votes:

mikefinch: It doesn't mean i have to tolerate every alternatively life-styled weirdo and their public fetish. I'm sure I can explain lots of stuff to my kids -- i don't think I as a parent should have to put up with people acting like douche bags in front of my kid just because they can.


I'm sure your children have bothered more people in public than people in public have ever bothered your children.

/self righteous self important parent? shocking
2013-02-01 03:24:05 PM  
1 votes:
So just to review:

A Cristmas tree on public land=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!
2013-02-01 03:16:09 PM  
1 votes:

DarkVader: I'm sorry you think you shouldn't have to put up with people acting like douche bags in front of your kid


Do you think anyone should have to put up with people acting like douche bags? Is expecting some consideration from other human beings that outrageous?
2013-02-01 02:50:37 PM  
1 votes:

miss diminutive: Twitch Boy: Punch him in the face.

Reread the headline and article, it's a lesbian couple.

FTA: But I don't love having to explain S&M role-play to my four-year old...

Can we all just officially conclude that "I don't want to have to take time to explain your actions to my offspring so just stop doing what I don't like" is a pathetically lazy and worthless argument? It's your damn kid, take responsibility for raising them and answering their questions about the world they're in instead of thrusting the responsibility on others to alter their behaviour to fit your particular idea of what the world should be.

/the woman is clearly an AW anyway, so who cares?


Dude, IT'S A FARKING FOUR YEAR OLD! A four year old isn't supposed to know about sex.
2013-02-01 02:39:43 PM  
1 votes:

mikefinch: dopekitty74: If you can't handle your kid asking Why? incessantly, you shouldn't be a parent.

You don't have to explain why that person likes it. I'm advocating teaching a child that everybody is different and different people like different things for different reasons. You can use foods or favorite colors as an example of conflicting tastes.

Ex. Ask child, what's your favorite treat? Child tells you, then you tell the child what your favorite treat is. You have a discussion about how my treat and your treat, while different are both perfectly acceptable, and that many other people will like different treats.

Im sure there are lots of great ways to explain it. Explaining it isnt really the big problem. I just wanted to point out that people are making it look sooooooo simple when... Its not. Its a weird thing to happen and any parent would have a bit of a fumble with it. I just don't like people acting like you can wave your wrist at that stuff and have kids just accept the simplified answers you give them.

It doesn't mean i have to tolerate every alternatively life-styled weirdo and their public fetish. I'm sure I can explain lots of stuff to my kids -- i don't think I as a parent should have to put up with people acting like douche bags in front of my kid just because they can.


I'm sorry you think you shouldn't have to put up with people acting like douche bags in front of your kid.  But if you take your kid out in public, you do.  It's not your choice any more.

But a couple out with a leash is no more offensive than a couple out holding hands.  They're not being douche bags.  Yes, they're being publicly affectionate.  No, it's not at a level that you have a right to stop them.  And It's your problem that you're offended, not theirs.  It's your problem that you have to explain something to your crotchfruit, not theirs.  They didn't ask your crotchfruit to walk down the public street, did they?  No, you did that.

Now, a young kid will accept the "they're playing pretend" explanation reasonably well, and it's essentially accurate.  If the kid asks for more information, like what they're playing, you can simply say "I don't know" since that's also accurate if you haven't asked the couple about the specifics of their relationship.  And it is VERY healthy for a kid to understand that you don't actually know everything, and can't answer every question.  Trying to answer everything by making up explanations is setting the kid up for a nasty shock when it realizes you were lying.
2013-02-01 01:43:06 PM  
1 votes:

I drunk what: Savage Bacon: sundance1028: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that most everyone in this thread who is defending the kinky couple and advocating that the parent mind their own business, etc. doesn't have kids of their own. I may be wrong, but it's just a hunch. Explaining things like this to kids is never as simple as you make it sound.

ORLY?

FTA: "My four-year old daughter asked me why the lady was wearing a leash. I told her that she was pretending to be a dog and that the other lady was playing the owner. My daughter loves inventing her own play scenarios and easily accepted my explanation."

Sounds like it took all of 10 seconds. Must've been brutal.

yeah deceiving your kids is way more quicker and easier lulz

that's the best way to raise em

i'm ok you're ok, the next time you and your kids see some creepy old dude luring some small children into a van with candy, don't judge him just tell your kid that he is pretending to be an adult film director, and lulz at it

lolz lolz lulz




Are you for real? You look at the child and say " they wear it because they like too". How is two adults wearing a leash equal a predator? Get some perspective. They want to be edgy, so what, laugh point, ignore. It isn't hurting anbody. Nor is it forcing people into their kink. It's wearing a leash. Ffs
2013-02-01 12:15:19 PM  
1 votes:
Crazy farks like this can't be reasoned with. Either move, or off them. Unfortunately the latter holds dire consequences even though it shouldn't. Some people deserve it, and they get away with being alive day after day, ruining the Earth.
2013-02-01 12:06:50 PM  
1 votes:
So, nothing more substantial than "I don't personally like it and that makes it rude, so they so they should stop it despite doing nothing either illegal or immoral."?

Phrasing it politely makes it no less bigoted, just civil.

"Hey, I don't mean to be rude - and please forgive me for intruding on your walk, but I'm desperately small minded and afraid of things that are different. My child doesn't understand and exhibiting some natural curiosity, so I need to convey to him that you're somehow bad, or wrong. Would you please not expose them to your preferences? Thanks, that would be just awesome."

It's legal and affects absolutely no one.
2013-02-01 11:53:49 AM  
1 votes:
sundan
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that most everyone in this thread who is defending the kinky couple and advocating that the parent mind their own business, etc. doesn't have kids of their own. I may be wrong, but it's just a hunch. Explaining things like this to kids is never as simple as you make it sound.
That having been said I just have to know out of curiosity - where is your line? There have to be some kinds of behavior that are unacceptable in public and I just want to know what would finally cross that line for you? I personally find the behavior of the couple in question rude, selfish and attention whorish at best. I'm fine with whatever they want to do in their own home/bedroom/torture chamber and I don't care about the gay/lesbian thing either. But there's gotta be a line somewhere. Where's yours?

 - i am a parent
 - kids, in general, are never "simple"
 - if you find it rude (whatever the behavior) and you want your kids to know that, tell them - ("we don't do that here because....") My mother was a firm believer in "English in the living room, French in the bedroom"
  - i encouraged my son to ask directly, within my ear shot, and then speak to him after - ignoring other
people is a terrific way to grow up unprepared
  - of course, I did get called to the principles office when he was in the 3rd grade after he told a classmate "all about being gay" - turns out he said "its when two people like each other"

   the horror
2013-02-01 11:35:35 AM  
1 votes:

december: WhippingBoy: You're not allowed to have a "line" unless everyone else has that same line.

where to draw the line is both a philosophical and a legal question. As a legal matter there are all kinds of unprotected forms of speech and expression -- obscenity, fraud, deceptive advertising, noise and nuisance laws, inciting a riot, and in some countries, hate-speech. So there is a mostly bright line as a matter of law.

as a philosophical matter, things are trickier. For example, the current laws on obscenity include a deference to "community standards." But we can reasonably disagree about whether the standards of the community should have any relevance at all. You seem to think they should, and that why what you do in public is sometimes other people's business. Other people have argued against that, essentially saying that offending people should be a right we all have, even if it's mostly assholes who take advantage of this right.


It's been my experience that the people who shout "mind your own business" the loudest are the same ones that go into histrionics when someone does something that *they* don't approve of.
2013-02-01 11:26:06 AM  
1 votes:

mikefinch: why is it that the weirdos of the world get to dictate what age my kids are when they come into contact with this crap?

I know kids ask questions and those questions need to be answered honestly. I get that.

dopekitty74: Just tell the kid people are different and some people like the way the collar looks and feels.

WHY? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??? is the incessant cry of the child. And "because" isnt going to cut it. If you cant give them an answer they will take it to a teacher or something similar: "Teacher - why does the girl outside my house like the way collars feel?"  Its not so simple as just brushing their questions away with dumbed down answers.

What they are doing is just plain rude. Whats wrong with polite discourse? The worst thing that can happen is the girl keeps walking her friend in some misguided defiance of your request.

Be polite. Explain WHY its an issue and try to give an alternate option that is reasonable and not some backhanded compromise. Try to find someway to put them into your shoes and let them see things from your perspective. The whole explaining in a nonthreatening manner and then trying to compromise thing can be uncomfortable -- but it works. For some reason i can't explain; acting like a kind, reasonable, considerate and intelligent human being who is willing to listen WORKS.

Its uncomfortable and WAY harder to do than it sounds but it gets really great results. You just need them to sit back for even a half a second to ask themselves "Am i being a jerk?"  and allot of people will feel guilty about causing such a nice person such discomfort. but lets look at what can go right and wrong-
1: The girl agrees and changes her schedule. You thank them. Your child plays innocent and happy.
2: The crazy biatch snaps and bites your nose off like a crazy Saigon whore... You call the police and she is arrested and good thing to because seriously who does that?
3: they flip you off with a rude comment and continue their doggy walks. Nothing has changed i suppose so NOW its time to start worrying about the kids.

Asking strangers to stop behaviour you find innapropriate is really tough to do. just think -- 98% of people are genuinely nice and are deep inside trying to be good people. Even weirdo lesbo S&M practitioners.

Ignoring it just seems like a big complicated adult version of the cold shoulder game kids use to exert power in groups. Its dealing with the problem in the most passive aggressive way possible.


If you can't handle your kid asking Why? incessantly, you shouldn't be a parent.

You don't have to explain why that person likes it. I'm advocating teaching a child that everybody is different and different people like different things for different reasons. You can use foods or favorite colors as an example of conflicting tastes.

Ex. Ask child, what's your favorite treat? Child tells you, then you tell the child what your favorite treat is. You have a discussion about how my treat and your treat, while different are both perfectly acceptable, and that many other people will like different treats.

/I have two daughters, aged 20 and 16 who both are very accepting of people with different lifestyles and feel no need to judge based on things on the surface.
2013-02-01 11:25:28 AM  
1 votes:

Endive Wombat: gopher321: Just say to your kid, "They're crazy people. Stay away from them."

That is pretty much what I would say.  There is no need to come up with things like "they are playing puppy and owner" or even attempt to explain that the one on the leash appreciates the humiliation aspect of a BDSM lifestyle.  Keep it simple - "They are weird and crazy, stay away..."

Also, it is none of your damn business, as long as they are not doing any pubic displays of sexual behavior, keep to yourself.


Yeah, that's how we raise our kids! If people do something different they're obviously insane, stay away from them!

/Seriously? They're obnoxious as all get-out and I would laugh my ass off if the local cops pointed out that it's probably violating an obscenity law or two, but 'weird and crazy, stay away'? They aren't insane and pose no danger to anyone in the park. They're just weird and obnoxious. Teaching kids to be scared of that is not going to end well for the kid.
2013-02-01 11:19:20 AM  
1 votes:
What they're doing isn't illegal. So the rest of this is just simple bigoted hyperbole.

If you change this story just slightly to "The lesbian couple down the street was out walking together, holding hands and I was terribly uncomfortable with that." then the bullshiat in the is argument becomes painfully obvious.

Two people that I don't know were doing something completely legal that I don't like, so I want them to stop and I'll hide behind my children to make it seem defensible.

If you change the bullshiat in this thread from "Pat her on the head" and "throw her a bone" to "ask which one is the husband" and "throw Leviticus tracts at them" the there is no practical difference.

Or

"I'm think that miscegenation is terrible. Why do these attention whores have to walk around my neighborhood expressing themselves freely and legally? How do I explain mixed race couples to my small child? They ask a lot of questions at that age. Why can't they just keep it behind closed doors?"
2013-02-01 11:05:47 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: You're not allowed to have a "line" unless everyone else has that same line.


I imagine that there would be something of a normal distribution as far as "line" goes, and the general norms of behavior are right about the middle of that grouping.  What the heck, lets put out a scale out there and see how FARK rates.

1   Lesbian SM couple in gear standing idly.
2   Lesbian SM couple holding hands in leash
3   Lesbian SM couple going for "walkies" in leash
4   Lesbian SM couple making out sloppily in leash or punishing one another in some way
5   Lesbian SM couple partially disrobed and getting sexual.
I draw my line at 3.3


/FARK needs a survey HTML button for stuff like this.
2013-02-01 10:56:27 AM  
1 votes:

sundance1028: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that most everyone in this thread who is defending the kinky couple and advocating that the parent mind their own business, etc. doesn't have kids of their own. I may be wrong, but it's just a hunch. Explaining things like this to kids is never as simple as you make it sound.


ORLY?

FTA: "My four-year old daughter asked me why the lady was wearing a leash. I told her that she was pretending to be a dog and that the other lady was playing the owner. My daughter loves inventing her own play scenarios and easily accepted my explanation."

Sounds like it took all of 10 seconds. Must've been brutal.


That having been said I just have to know out of curiosity - where is your line? There have to be some kinds of behavior that are unacceptable in public and I just want to know what would finally cross that line for you? I personally find the behavior of the couple in question rude, selfish and attention whorish at best. I'm fine with whatever they want to do in their own home/bedroom/torture chamber and I don't care about the gay/lesbian thing either. But there's gotta be a line somewhere. Where's yours?


Personally, nudity or blatant sexual acts would be my line. Were they fondling each other? Sloppily making out? Not even, apparently. They were just walking around, but one happened top have a leash around her neck. AWish? Perhaps, but nothing I would be offended by.
2013-02-01 10:45:03 AM  
1 votes:
I think the real question is paintball or pellet gun...
2013-02-01 10:44:00 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: december: WhippingBoy: By going out in public, these people have made it everyone's business

you're equivocating.

public space belongs to no one, which means no one gets to tell others how to act in public. that's what people mean when they say "mind your business".

Bullshiat. So if I go to a kindergarten school bus stop and start screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, people should just mind their business and "let me do my thing"?


There may be laws against the obscenities you are screaming, or laws against the volume at which you are screaming.  If so, then the authorities should deal with you appropriately.

If you are not breaking any laws, then yes, people SHOULD mind their own business.  That's why we have laws in the first place - to codify what is and what is not permissible conduct should you wish to live within the particular society which enacts those laws.

\one would have thought that somewhere along the line, you would have learned this by now...
2013-02-01 10:36:17 AM  
1 votes:

ReverendJasen: mikefinch: why is it that the weirdos of the world get to dictate what age my kids are when they come into contact with this crap?

If you don't like your children being exposed to the people of the world (of which "weirdos" represent a significant portion), you're free to keep them sequestered safely at home for as long as you like.


It's called "Home-Schooling", typically.
2013-02-01 10:32:37 AM  
1 votes:

Debeo Summa Credo: Okay, i think we're taking tolerance too far if we have to just deal with crazy assholes leading othe crazy assholes around on a leash in public.

These deranged freaks should have bricks thrown at them.


0/10
2013-02-01 10:31:52 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: But if it's not, people must should STFU and mind their own business.


Don't worry, you're still free to be an asshole if you want too.
2013-02-01 10:30:35 AM  
1 votes:
Masturbate vigorously when they approach you.

They'll soon get the hint.
2013-02-01 10:27:51 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: abhorrent1: WhippingBoy: Bullshiat. So if I go to a kindergarten school bus stop and start screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, people should just mind their business and "let me do my thing"?

Walking down the street, with your girlfriend on a leash minding your own business is a little different that what you describe. Which could actually be disturbing the peace or disorderly conduct, which are both arrestable offenses.

But if it's not, people must STFU and mind their own business.


I agree. If it's not illegal do what you want and people should mind their own business.
2013-02-01 10:23:32 AM  
1 votes:

CheekyMonkey: Perhaps, but it isn't really her business, is it? My response would have been, "Are you always such a nosy coont, or is today my lucky day?"


That's the nice version of what she deserved to hear.
2013-02-01 10:23:30 AM  
1 votes:
The columnists advice is surprisingly good and insightful.

/TTIUW-sex-ay-P
2013-02-01 10:17:14 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Bullshiat. So if I go to a kindergarten school bus stop and start screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, people should just mind their business and "let me do my thing"?


Walking down the street, with your girlfriend on a leash minding your own business is a little different that what you describe. Which could actually be disturbing the peace or disorderly conduct, which are both arrestable offenses.
2013-02-01 10:14:14 AM  
1 votes:
Maybe just buy one of these for your kid and start taking them for walks.
bios.weddingbee.com
2013-02-01 10:12:56 AM  
1 votes:

sundance1028: That having been said I just have to know out of curiosity - where is your line? There have to be some kinds of behavior that are unacceptable in public and I just want to know what would finally cross that line for you? I personally find the behavior of the couple in question rude, selfish and attention whorish at best. I'm fine with whatever they want to do in their own home/bedroom/torture chamber and I don't care about the gay/lesbian thing either. But there's gotta be a line somewhere. Where's yours?


Legality.  If it's legal, go ahead and do it.  If not, well, obviously don't.  Are there things I'd rather not see when I'm out in public?  Lots of them.  But my dislike - or anyone else's dislike - isn't sufficient reason to "draw the line" as you put it.  The sooner we get over the current trend of "people shouldn't offend my delicate sensibilities", the better.
2013-02-01 10:09:13 AM  
1 votes:

Sybarite: Parading your girlfriend through a residential street on the end of a leash is a classic case of "épater la bourgeoisie" - like when the Surrealist poet Gérard de Nerval used to promenade his pet lobster Thibault through the streets of Paris on the end of a blue ribbon.

At least it wasn't named Breakfast.

/silly name for a lobster


I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabardo has a pet prawn called Simon and you wouldn't call him a looney; furthermore, Dawn Pailthorpe, the lady show-jumper, had a clam, called Stafford, after the late Chancellor, Allan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an haddock! So, if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche du temps perdu' a looney, I shall have to ask you to step outside!
2013-02-01 09:58:41 AM  
1 votes:
Dan Savage would probably say something about the couple being jerks and involving unwilling people into their BDSM. That being said there isn't much you can do to stop it.
2013-02-01 09:54:56 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: abhorrent1: What do I tell my kid?

tell them to mind their own farking business.

By going out in public, these people have made it everyone's business.


Going out in public makes anything you do other people's business?
I question that. We have public nuisance laws that prohibit behavior that actually, materially bothers others - beyond that, what other people do doesn't concern you.
2013-02-01 09:54:40 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: december: WhippingBoy: By going out in public, these people have made it everyone's business

you're equivocating.

public space belongs to no one, which means no one gets to tell others how to act in public. that's what people mean when they say "mind your business".

Bullshiat. So if I go to a kindergarten school bus stop and start screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, people should just mind their business and "let me do my thing"?


Fair point, sort of.

Why are you screaming obscenities though? Context matters. If it's just to be a dick then others should tell you you're a dick. But, in this case, these people aren't aiming to offend others. That's important. They're just living their lives. And when people are just living their lives then others should mind their own business.
2013-02-01 09:53:30 AM  
1 votes:
Regardless of what you might think about the happy couple, it seems to me this parent is making it more of a problem than it has to be. You tell the kid they're pretending, the kid accepts it... Unless I'm missing something here, there's no need to go into further detail.

Eventually, when the kid's old enough to think back on it and realize what was actually going on, she's going to understand why you glossed over it.
2013-02-01 09:46:50 AM  
1 votes:

december: WhippingBoy: By going out in public, these people have made it everyone's business

you're equivocating.

public space belongs to no one, which means no one gets to tell others how to act in public. that's what people mean when they say "mind your business".


Bullshiat. So if I go to a kindergarten school bus stop and start screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs, people should just mind their business and "let me do my thing"?
2013-02-01 09:42:23 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: By going out in public, these people have made it everyone's business


you're equivocating.

public space belongs to no one, which means no one gets to tell others how to act in public. that's what people mean when they say "mind your business".
2013-02-01 09:36:04 AM  
1 votes:
My neighbour walks her girlfriend on a leash. How do I register my disapproval

Take pictures, lots of pictures and post them on the internet.  For science.
2013-02-01 09:33:59 AM  
1 votes:
Call the local Animal Control dept.
2013-02-01 09:30:17 AM  
1 votes:
What do I tell my kid?

tell them to mind their own farking business.
2013-02-01 09:28:16 AM  
1 votes:
I've got a good idea! How about you mind your goddamn business and don't tell me what's "right" or "wrong" for my kids, or what I "should" do?
2013-02-01 09:24:31 AM  
1 votes:

Endive Wombat: gopher321: Just say to your kid, "They're crazy people. Stay away from them."

That is pretty much what I would say.  There is no need to come up with things like "they are playing puppy and owner" or even attempt to explain that the one on the leash appreciates the humiliation aspect of a BDSM lifestyle.  Keep it simple - "They are weird and crazy, stay away..."

Also, it is none of your damn business, as long as they are not doing any pubic displays of sexual behavior, keep to yourself.


Even saying they're crazy isn't necessarily the way to go. What if the child just happens to grow up and have a similar fetish? Then they'll either think THEY are crazy too, or that you're a liar.

Just tell the kid people are different and some people like the way the collar looks and feels.
2013-02-01 09:02:56 AM  
1 votes:
I wear a collar out in public with my SO sometimes. But it's a thin leather one that looks like a choker. We sure as hell don't run around AWing where kids are about.

CSB:

About 20 years ago when I was in college, I was working in a pizza place in Portland, Ore. Portland is very kink-friendly and was even back then.

The pizza place, however, was down south close to Gresham in a heavily residential area and was a family-oriented place.

One Sunday evening -- which was when they had free pizza buffet for kids -- a couple in leather trench coats walked in. She was wearing a collar and he had her on a leash. The place was jammed with kids.

They got seated in some other section. A few minutes later I was getting some drinks and the server for their section was there. "Where's the kinky couple?" I asked.

"They stomped out a minute ago," she said. "I asked if something was wrong and the guy said everyone was staring at them."
2013-02-01 08:59:05 AM  
1 votes:

what_now: (Last fall, my wife Pam was riding her bike sans helmet and a woman in an SUV pulled up, rolled down her window and said: "Did you forget your helmet or are you just stupid?"

She has a point.


Perhaps, but it isn't really her business, is it?  My response would have been, "Are you always such a nosy coont, or is today my lucky day?"
2013-02-01 08:58:55 AM  
1 votes:
We were at Disney World during the Gay Days a couple years ago.  Took my older kid aside and explained what he might see and that no matter what we think about it, keep it to yourself.

/Didn't really have any issues
//lots of rainbow mickey pins
///definitely expectations vs reality
2013-02-01 08:58:28 AM  
1 votes:
If she is that worried about her running away that she needs a leash she probably isn't a very good mistress. Hell my dog can walk next to me without a leash.
2013-02-01 08:56:45 AM  
1 votes:
people people, calm down please. you are all forgetting the important things. are they hot?
2013-02-01 08:36:43 AM  
1 votes:
blogs.seattleweekly.com
2013-02-01 08:19:17 AM  
1 votes:

serial_crusher: If your fetish involves eliciting a reaction from your unwitting neighbors, you're basically committing rape.


Well, that is a bit of a stretch.
2013-02-01 08:16:27 AM  
1 votes:

gopher321: Just say to your kid, "They're crazy people. Stay away from them."


That is pretty much what I would say.  There is no need to come up with things like "they are playing puppy and owner" or even attempt to explain that the one on the leash appreciates the humiliation aspect of a BDSM lifestyle.  Keep it simple - "They are weird and crazy, stay away..."

Also, it is none of your damn business, as long as they are not doing any pubic displays of sexual behavior, keep to yourself.
2013-02-01 07:52:23 AM  
1 votes:

HenryFnord: what_now: (Last fall, my wife Pam was riding her bike sans helmet and a woman in an SUV pulled up, rolled down her window and said: "Did you forget your helmet or are you just stupid?"

She has a point.

and you're in the wrong thread.


That's a direct quote from the linked article.
2013-02-01 07:27:29 AM  
1 votes:
It sounds like somebody needs a good spanking.

/first, the spanking
2013-02-01 06:17:55 AM  
1 votes:
And now I read the article and it seems mom did exactly that. Color me embarrassed
2013-02-01 05:38:19 AM  
1 votes:
Politely remind them to carry a plastic bag for when the biatch shiats on the path
2013-02-01 05:34:52 AM  
1 votes:
Who's "him" ?
 
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