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(Globe and Mail)   My neighbour walks her girlfriend on a leash. How do I register my disapproval?   ( theglobeandmail.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Waiting for Godot, Samuel Beckett, shrimps, interpersonal relationship, girlfriend  
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18088 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 8:45 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-01 03:03:21 PM  

Richard C Stanford: Dude, IT'S A FARKING FOUR YEAR OLD! A four year old isn't supposed to know about sex.



Then leave out the part about the strap ons and double ended things and nipple sucking and you should be fine.

/be in my bunk
 
2013-02-01 03:06:34 PM  

The Dangerous Toy: What they're doing isn't illegal. So the rest of this is just simple bigoted hyperbole.

If you change this story just slightly to "The lesbian couple down the street was out walking together, holding hands and I was terribly uncomfortable with that." then the bullshiat in the is argument becomes painfully obvious.

Two people that I don't know were doing something completely legal that I don't like, so I want them to stop and I'll hide behind my children to make it seem defensible.

If you change the bullshiat in this thread from "Pat her on the head" and "throw her a bone" to "ask which one is the husband" and "throw Leviticus tracts at them" the there is no practical difference.

Or

"I'm think that miscegenation is terrible. Why do these attention whores have to walk around my neighborhood expressing themselves freely and legally? How do I explain mixed race couples to my small child? They ask a lot of questions at that age. Why can't they just keep it behind closed doors?"


I live with my mom
 
2013-02-01 03:16:09 PM  

DarkVader: I'm sorry you think you shouldn't have to put up with people acting like douche bags in front of your kid


Do you think anyone should have to put up with people acting like douche bags? Is expecting some consideration from other human beings that outrageous?
 
2013-02-01 03:21:31 PM  
My kids probably wouldn't even notice.  If they did, the answer would be "it's their thing just like some people like to color their hair pink."  Kids happy, AWs dismissed from their minds.


/and a later discussion about the kids not tying things around anyone's necks.
 
2013-02-01 03:24:05 PM  
So just to review:

A Cristmas tree on public land=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!
 
2013-02-01 03:24:06 PM  

WhippingBoy: I drunk what: this thread:

[p.twimg.com image 600x448]

you guys need to tone down the bigoted hate speech, and mind your own business

kudos on the cute couples with leashes and their fabulous choice of public displays of affection

you go girls!

What the hell? This whole thread is about how we shouldn't tell people what to do, and here you are telling people what to do...


Oh, you must be just meeting IDW. Usually he keeps to evolution threads.
 
2013-02-01 03:29:01 PM  
You don't have to go into anything more with your kid than "They're playing pretend." That's it. Any kid is going to instantly understand that, since they spend a significant amount of time pretending to be something else, anything from a cat to a fireman. It's not a big deal.

When I was a child, I spent a lot of time pretending to be a horse, even getting 'hitched' to wagons and pulling my friends around. I wasn't engaging in pony-play, I was literally engaging in horse-play :) If I saw someone in full pony-play gear when I was that age, I wouldn't think "Oh, weird adult sex stuff" I would be thinking "Where can I get a harness like that?"
 
2013-02-01 03:29:47 PM  

mikefinch: It doesn't mean i have to tolerate every alternatively life-styled weirdo and their public fetish. I'm sure I can explain lots of stuff to my kids -- i don't think I as a parent should have to put up with people acting like douche bags in front of my kid just because they can.


I'm sure your children have bothered more people in public than people in public have ever bothered your children.

/self righteous self important parent? shocking
 
2013-02-01 03:30:38 PM  
Kid: Why is that person on a leash?

Me: I dunno. They want to be I suppose.

Kid: But why?

Me: We all have our sins kiddo...
 
2013-02-01 03:33:43 PM  

SkunkWerks: I can think of a lot of things we'd have never accomplished with that attitude. Rule of law, for one thing...


i dont think you got my point.

DarkVader: But a couple out with a leash is no more offensive than a couple out holding hands. They're not being douche bags. Yes, they're being publicly affectionate. No, it's not at a level that you have a right to stop them. And It's your problem that you're offended, not theirs. It's your problem that you have to explain something to your crotchfruit, not theirs. They didn't ask your crotchfruit to walk down the public street, did they? No, you did that.


Yeah -- what was my freaking problem thinking the public areas of our societies would be relatively kink free?

I dont even think the leash is that bad -- but i can't see any reason to just "ignore them and let them be." Its so freaking easy to be polite and ask them to do it at a different time. Its not like i have some beef with lesbos on leashes. Whatever -- i do have a problem with being told to stuff a thumb up your ass every time someone in public makes you uncomfortable.

Think about the homeless -- they are repulsive and smelly and their lifestyle disgusts me. They make me uncomfortable. People didnt like them asking for money -- it made them uncofortable . Now we have pan handling laws so i dont have to be accosted by greasy transients! Infact vagrants are often told to bugger off... I know plenty of elderly folk that will tell teenagers sucking face to cut it out and find a room.

How is it any different from panhandling? A garish spectacle wants something you have, be it money or attention.
 
2013-02-01 03:40:49 PM  
Here's the best idea if you people like that... become their friend!!!  They will have the good drugs!

Also, minding your own business is a perfectly acceptable response to their walks.  As for the daughter's question, an "I don't know" is acceptable... seeing as how until you talk to them, you really don't know.
 
2013-02-01 03:41:09 PM  

Giant Clown Shoe: I'm sure your children have bothered more people in public than people in public have ever bothered your children.

/self righteous self important parent? shocking


Yeah but when people complain about my kids i beat them savagely. When i complain about other people they just act all entitled and self righteous.

Richard C Stanford: So just to review:

A Cristmas tree on public land=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!


You got it.
 
2013-02-01 03:42:37 PM  

EnglishMan: Do you think anyone should have to put up with people acting like douche bags?


Yes... that's the very essence of a free society.
 
2013-02-01 03:43:50 PM  

Richard C Stanford: So just to review:

A Cristmas tree on public land while not allowing other religious holiday icons=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!


You left out an important part, so I added it in to remove confusion...
 
2013-02-01 04:04:28 PM  

sandi_fish: How about telling your kid that what they do is none of anybody's damn business?  It's not.  MYOB.


It's not?
Why do I have to wear clothes then? Could I just walk around naked and tell people who object "It's none of your business!"?
 
2013-02-01 04:06:22 PM  

stonicus: A Cristmas tree on public land while not allowing other religious holiday icons=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!


I strongly advocate putting up pagan holiday icons.  I have never met a group of people wanting to be oppressed more than neo pagans, and the sooner we just mainstream them the sooner it won't be fun for them anymore.
 
2013-02-01 04:08:41 PM  

stonicus: EnglishMan: Do you think anyone should have to put up with people acting like douche bags?

Yes... that's the very essence of a free society.


YEAH!! fark life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. All i hear is act like a big farkwad.

And wtf is the deal about the holiday icons? I have heard plenty of similar stories that didn't involve someone else trying to put up a menorah or a green crescent moon...
 
2013-02-01 04:10:04 PM  

mikefinch: why is it that the weirdos of the world get to dictate what age my kids are when they come into contact with this crap?

I know kids ask questions and those questions need to be answered honestly. I get that.

dopekitty74: Just tell the kid people are different and some people like the way the collar looks and feels.

WHY? WHY? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??? is the incessant cry of the child. And "because" isnt going to cut it. If you cant give them an answer they will take it to a teacher or something similar: "Teacher - why does the girl outside my house like the way collars feel?"  Its not so simple as just brushing their questions away with dumbed down answers.

What they are doing is just plain rude. Whats wrong with polite discourse? The worst thing that can happen is the girl keeps walking her friend in some misguided defiance of your request.

Be polite. Explain WHY its an issue and try to give an alternate option that is reasonable and not some backhanded compromise. Try to find someway to put them into your shoes and let them see things from your perspective. The whole explaining in a nonthreatening manner and then trying to compromise thing can be uncomfortable -- but it works. For some reason i can't explain; acting like a kind, reasonable, considerate and intelligent human being who is willing to listen WORKS.

Its uncomfortable and WAY harder to do than it sounds but it gets really great results. You just need them to sit back for even a half a second to ask themselves "Am i being a jerk?"  and allot of people will feel guilty about causing such a nice person such discomfort. but lets look at what can go right and wrong-
1: The girl agrees and changes her schedule. You thank them. Your child plays innocent and happy.
2: The crazy biatch snaps and bites your nose off like a crazy Saigon whore... You call the police and she is arrested and good thing to because seriously who does that?
3: they flip you off with a rude comment and continue their doggy walks. Noth ...


Take some advice from someone smarter than you (substitute gays with anything that "freaks" you out)

"It doesn't have any effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it's a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say, "How am I supposed to explain to my children that two men are getting married?... I dunno. It's your sh*tty kid. You f*ckin' tell 'em. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in LOVE and they can't get married because you don't want to talk to your ugly child for five f*ckin' minutes?" - Louis C.K.
 
2013-02-01 04:12:39 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: It's not?
Why do I have to wear clothes then? Could I just walk around naked and tell people who object "It's none of your business!"?


Yeah -- And then THEY would be the chumps for feeling weird that they were talking to a naked dude. What freaks.
 
2013-02-01 04:13:16 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: sandi_fish: How about telling your kid that what they do is none of anybody's damn business?  It's not.  MYOB.

It's not?
Why do I have to wear clothes then? Could I just walk around naked and tell people who object "It's none of your business!"?


Well. it is against the law wear no clothing in public.  What they are doing is not illegal.  Do you see the difference there genius?
 
2013-02-01 04:14:54 PM  
You just tell your kid "Those people are crazy.  Stay away from them".

The same way you would with the Blacks, Jews, Gays, etc.
 
2013-02-01 04:43:27 PM  

stonicus: EnglishMan: Do you think anyone should have to put up with people acting like douche bags?

Yes... that's the very essence of a free society.


We don't live in free societies, there are limits.
 
2013-02-01 04:49:05 PM  

CrazyCracka420: "It doesn't have any effect on your life. What do you care?! People try to talk about it like it's a social issue. Like when you see someone stand up on a talk show and say, "How am I supposed to explain to my children that two men are getting married?... I dunno. It's your sh*tty kid. You f*ckin' tell 'em. Why is that anyone else's problem? Two guys are in LOVE and they can't get married because you don't want to talk to your ugly child for five f*ckin' minutes?" - Louis C.K.


wait wait wait wait wait. Thats a whole other barrel of fish. Nobody is stepping on anyone's civil rights here.

I'm fine with talking to the kid. If they want to be kinky thats fine. I do however find their behavior a bit offputting and i think i am entirely justified in walking up to them and politely explaining why i would like them to change what they are doing.

I honestly dont mind having that talk with my kid. Just because my son knows about male anatomy doesn't mean his grandpa gets to let his old balls hang out of his grandpa boxers while my kid is in the room. Just because you can talk to your kid about something and give them a healthy outlook on life doesn't mean you just let them hang around it and being exposed to it no longer matters.

The problem isnt that people cant talk to their kids. Its that unless its explicitly stated as illegal it apparently should be ok to do in public places where children are expected to be at play. And that even politely requesting they alter their behavior gets people up in arms about how rude to ask people to change like that while not even touching the fact that their behavior is equally if not more rude.

Just seems wildly idealistic and out of touch with reality to me.
 
2013-02-01 05:02:06 PM  

Richard C Stanford: So just to review:

A Cristmas tree on public land=OHMYGODTHISISANOUTRAGEWHARGARBLBEL!
Two people performing exhibitionist acts on public land=Anyone who thinks this is inappropriate is a bigot and a dumbass!


if that's how you choose to frame the issue then it's no wonder the world looks very strange to you.

A different way of framing it might be:

Things done by the state are held to different standards than things done by private individuals.
 
2013-02-01 05:02:24 PM  
It's not their problem you're offended.  So it is rude to ask them to change their behavior which is perfectly acceptable.  Walking someone on a leash has no effect on you or your children.  None.
 
2013-02-01 05:06:47 PM  

sandi_fish: Bedstead Polisher: sandi_fish: How about telling your kid that what they do is none of anybody's damn business?  It's not.  MYOB.

It's not?
Why do I have to wear clothes then? Could I just walk around naked and tell people who object "It's none of your business!"?

Well. it is against the law wear no clothing in public.  What they are doing is not illegal.  Do you see the difference there genius?


Absolutely, but they are both IN PUBLIC. Anything you do in public affects those around you. I'm pretty sure that's the point of what they're doing, public humiliation. They're doing it in public which makes it everyone's business.
I'm reminded of this girl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S32bgx36G-0  Sometimes people make it hard to mind their own business when you shove your business in their face.
 
2013-02-01 05:12:35 PM  
Tell the kid if he ends up fat, he'll be farked in the head as bad as they are.
 
2013-02-01 05:25:15 PM  
Really, BDSM is fat people's way of dealing with the fact that they hate themselves. But whatever. I'd just ignore tell my kids they're acting weird if they ask.

Kids don't listen to you anyway. They watch your reaction. My kids never listen to my "logic", but they know me better than I know myself. So I just ignore people I don't like when I'm around them. No doubt they've seen through that too.
 
2013-02-01 05:46:35 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: sandi_fish: Bedstead Polisher: sandi_fish: How about telling your kid that what they do is none of anybody's damn business?  It's not.  MYOB.

It's not?
Why do I have to wear clothes then? Could I just walk around naked and tell people who object "It's none of your business!"?

Well. it is against the law wear no clothing in public.  What they are doing is not illegal.  Do you see the difference there genius?

Absolutely, but they are both IN PUBLIC. Anything you do in public affects those around you. I'm pretty sure that's the point of what they're doing, public humiliation. They're doing it in public which makes it everyone's business.
I'm reminded of this girl: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S32bgx36G-0  Sometimes people make it hard to mind their own business when you shove your business in their face.


I didn't watch the video you linked.  Because of social networking goes, everything today is practically public.  Doesn't mean I have to watch it.

 As far as life goes I am live and let live.  It has no negative impact on my life, so I tend to focus on the positiver rather than get all judgmental. I have no outrage or moral contempt for them, they can do as they please.
 
2013-02-01 06:28:59 PM  
The whole issue is about humiliation, not rights.  it is D&S, not S&M.

I cannot even finish my post.  But for those who think this public exposure is an expression of rights, where would you draw the line?
 
2013-02-01 07:02:49 PM  

Nanuk-the White Bear: The whole issue is about humiliation, not rights.  it is D&S, not S&M.

I cannot even finish my post.  But for those who think this public exposure is an expression of rights, where would you draw the line?


Where do you draw the line? Be exact please.

Or don't sit back amd ask unanswerable questions.
 
2013-02-01 09:24:13 PM  

I drunk what: this thread:

[p.twimg.com image 600x448]

you guys need to tone down the bigoted hate speech, and mind your own business

kudos on the cute couples with leashes and their fabulous choice of public displays of affection

you go girls!


This is your brain on stupid.
 
2013-02-01 10:24:41 PM  

Smackledorfer: Where do you draw the line? Be exact please.

Or don't sit back amd ask unanswerable questions.


I draw the line at someone creating a huge uncomfortable inconvenience just because they feel they have a right to use those around them as boner fuel.

An exact line will never exist. The question really is kind of unanswerable. That doesnt mean the law has all the answers. It used to be completely legal and justified to tell black people to screw off of the whites water fountain... IT WAS THE LAW GODDAMNIT!!!! So justifying something as a decent way of behaving in public just because it has the support of the law isnt exactly the strongest position considering all the ways it has been twisted to screw people in the past.

Its not unreasonable to politely ask these people to stop or change what their doing a bit. Reasonalbe human beings do it all the time. Neighbours kid wants to practice his drums? I should be able to request of his parents that he keep it down at a certain time of day if i needed to sleep for a nightshift, or i needed to have a meeting on the phone. Nobody would bat an eye at that request... Or someone might ask me to stop flushing a toilet after 1AM because it wakes up the people iun the suite under mine. Its a reasonable request that while i have no reason to oblige i still do my best to accomodate their wishes when i can.

Its called talking to people like fellow adults and being civil. Ignoring people who are trying to get a rise out of you is a nice way of not dealing with the problem and hoping it goes away. Its a whole 'nother thing when you can come to someone and try to exchange points of view and empathy. If they can see you care its a 10:1 shot that they are going to try to care too.

Ignoring the attention whore is just bullying of a different shade.
 
2013-02-01 10:49:14 PM  
I live with my mom, eh?

What that really means is you have no answer as to why two people who weren't breaking any laws whatsoever shouldn't be left alone. Or why they owe anyone anything.
 
2013-02-01 11:20:40 PM  

The Dangerous Toy: What that really means is you have no answer as to why two people who weren't breaking any laws whatsoever shouldn't be left alone. Or why they owe anyone anything.


Just because what you are doing isnt breaking any laws doesnt mean its not pissing off large tracts of the general public and generally disrespecting your fellow man.

They owe nothing. They are not obliged to listen -- however... It would be socially conscious for them to do so. If someone tells me a cliff is slippery and steep i have no obligation to listen and i can go dance out on that ledge all i want. Sometimes listening to people has benefits.
 
2013-02-01 11:31:56 PM  

mikefinch: The Dangerous Toy: What that really means is you have no answer as to why two people who weren't breaking any laws whatsoever shouldn't be left alone. Or why they owe anyone anything.

Just because what you are doing isnt breaking any laws doesnt mean its not pissing off large tracts of the general public and generally disrespecting your fellow man.

They owe nothing. They are not obliged to listen -- however... It would be socially conscious for them to do so. If someone tells me a cliff is slippery and steep i have no obligation to listen and i can go dance out on that ledge all i want. Sometimes listening to people has benefits.


Sometimes just walking by with a sigh or shake of the head does too.

Keeps one's stress down at least.
 
2013-02-01 11:38:41 PM  

mikefinch: The Dangerous Toy: What that really means is you have no answer as to why two people who weren't breaking any laws whatsoever shouldn't be left alone. Or why they owe anyone anything.

Just because what you are doing isnt breaking any laws doesnt mean its not pissing off large tracts of the general public and generally disrespecting your fellow man.

They owe nothing. They are not obliged to listen -- however... It would be socially conscious for them to do so. If someone tells me a cliff is slippery and steep i have no obligation to listen and i can go dance out on that ledge all i want. Sometimes listening to people has benefits.


So, someone dressing in a fashion that you find disagreeable is the equivalent of placing yourself in mortal danger?

This is no different than mohawk haircuts or hoodies.

It's a lifestyle choice that effects you or anyone else in no conceivable way whatsoever. Other than requiring you to occasionally share space with them.
 
2013-02-02 12:08:50 AM  

mikefinch: used to be completely legal and justified to tell black people to screw off of the whites water fountain


Now THAT'S an uncomfortable public display of kink right there.

I agree with you for the most part, FWIW. The couple has the right to AW as they are. People who are annoyed by it have the right to ask them to stop being annoying. What's the problem?
 
2013-02-02 12:20:33 AM  

milkyshirt: What's the problem?


We only grow when we face the suffering of life head on. I just really dont like the idea of brushing the whole thing off and treating them like pariahs. It makes me feel like someone who is watching on the sidelines while some kid gets bullied and not doing anything.
 
2013-02-02 12:25:34 AM  
cdn-www.i-am-bored.com
 
2013-02-02 12:44:41 AM  
By minding your own damned business and not looking.
 
2013-02-02 01:34:08 AM  

mikefinch: milkyshirt: What's the problem?

We only grow when we face the suffering of life head on. I just really dont like the idea of brushing the whole thing off and treating them like pariahs. It makes me feel like someone who is watching on the sidelines while some kid gets bullied and not doing anything.


You are insane.

Walking past a couple of lesbians with one leashing the other is now compared to allowing bullying?

And coexisting with people you don't care for without asking them to conform is making them pariahs?

Asking them to conform is suffering?

You must be trolling.
 
2013-02-02 02:28:39 AM  

mikefinch: milkyshirt: What's the problem?

We only grow when we face the suffering of life head on. I just really dont like the idea of brushing the whole thing off and treating them like pariahs. It makes me feel like someone who is watching on the sidelines while some kid gets bullied and not doing anything.


Saying it's a form of bullying is extreme, don't you think?

The couple playing their game is being pretty douchey without considering their neighbors' feelings (or considering them and just not giving a shiat). It's sort of passive-aggressive. I think they'd probably like someone to approach them about it. I have a strong disdain for attention whores so I'm not sure if I'd personally handle this situation civilly or if I'd just tell them to knock that shiat off, it's stupid. Either way, I would bet they'd like the attention. Perhaps ignoring them *is* best.
 
2013-02-02 02:31:40 AM  
And before this thread is 100% dead...

KITH's Buddy Cole and his male slave
 
2013-02-02 02:41:55 AM  

Smackledorfer: And coexisting with people you don't care for without asking them to conform is making them pariahs?


Nobody is asking them to conform. If it bothers you whats wrong with asking them to change? imean -- If they feel like they should be walking around like that dont you feel like you are equally entitled to ask them not to?

if something bothers you you should confront it rather than pretend its not there. Its rude to them. It says you dont respect them enough to treat them like adults. Disapproving of something silently just seems pathetic. At least try going to the table to try to work something out. Who knows -- maybe these girls never even thought about the children aspect of it. What if you explained yourself honestly and they said -- hey -- we get it -- and maybe they are just out for a good time and they dont actually want to be jerks to some polite neighbour with some cute little kids. Maybe you find out that they are very nice girls in a weird relationship that really seems to work. Who knows. Maybe the kink is just a little fun thing they do and they are pretty normal. Maybe they would make great babysitters? Who knows. Even if they tell you to fark off you are just in the same place you were 10 minutes ago. And you made your position known. Cant really go wrong.

If you are riding on a bus and someone is singing the hamster dance at the top of their lungs it wouldn't be a jerk thing to ask them to tone it down a bit would it?

Im not really trolling -- more like a day at the driving range than the fish pond. I just think if it really bugs you then not saying anything about it makes you a bit of a pussy.
 
2013-02-02 02:52:10 AM  
And if they are attention whores then approach it with as little drama as possible. Verbal judo those dikes.
 
2013-02-02 07:29:45 AM  

mikefinch: i dont think you got my point.


No.  I don't think you had a point.

Unless that point was "I have little to no understanding of how human endeavors function".
 
2013-02-02 08:19:51 AM  

Fano: WhippingBoy: I drunk what: this thread:

[p.twimg.com image 600x448]

you guys need to tone down the bigoted hate speech, and mind your own business

kudos on the cute couples with leashes and their fabulous choice of public displays of affection

you go girls!

What the hell? This whole thread is about how we shouldn't tell people what to do, and here you are telling people what to do...

Oh, you must be just meeting IDW. Usually he keeps to evolution threads.


This is Evolution.

The evolution of human progress.  In fact the only thing that is stopping it is conservative-republican-christian bigots.  But we are making progress in removing that retardation out of the equation.  For example, you'll notice that fewer of their posts remain.  This is not by accident.

It is by Evolution.

Here is to Progress: *raises glass*  cheers.

Thanks for doing your part, it is greatly appreciated.  We are pleased.
 
2013-02-02 08:42:57 AM  

No_Good_Name: Are you for real?


i'm ok you're ok

Novart: This is your brain on stupid.


i'm ok you're ok

Savage Bacon: Heh, trolling it is.

*joins in brofisting goodness*


oh so you were just trolling? whew thank goodness, for a moment there i was worried that you were being serious

lolz, it's scary to know people actually think like that :D

*brofisting*
 
2013-02-02 08:51:21 AM  

No_Good_Name: How is two adults wearing a leash equal a predator?


no person is illegal
 
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