If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   How you lose your virginity may scar you for life   (slate.com) divider line 265
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

22551 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2013 at 12:16 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



265 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-01 04:10:23 AM  

HempHead: [juliaoswald.files.wordpress.com image 850x686]


What the fark is the matter with you?  (other than being a Paedophile?)
 
2013-02-01 04:12:55 AM  
I wouldn't say scarred, but I did learn a lesson about kissing and telling.  I was 22, she was 25, it was the floor of her dorm room when I was up visiting.  After it happened and I returned home, I announced "I got laid, I got laid, I got laid, yaaaaaaaay!" to our mutual friends.  At that point she kicked me to the curb and ended up hooking up with someone else and I had to see them happily together two months later at a party.

So needless to say, I now keep my interpersonal relationship information to myself.
 
2013-02-01 04:14:05 AM  
I had no illusions about my first time. I expected it to be painful and short and that's exactly how it happened.

I didn't really enjoy it until the 3rd or 4th time, to be honest. Glad I stuck with it and didn't have any hangups or scars with regards to losing it.
 
2013-02-01 04:15:53 AM  

Smallberries: (Me? Me, I like midgets wearing latex balloons.)


Didn't we meet at that focus group last summer?
 
2013-02-01 04:15:53 AM  

Repo Man: rfenster: Cool, I'll keep this in mind in case I ever get lucky.

/Gotta happen one of these days.
//Doesn't it?
///Anyone want to take 46 year old out for a test drive?

Look on the bright side - no chance of STDs.

***********


Have you never heard "the tractor story"??
 
2013-02-01 04:49:52 AM  

Oak: No scars: there's plenty of room in the back seat of a '72 LTD.


I can confirm this
 
2013-02-01 04:52:37 AM  

Hyatus: The time I almost lost my virginity was probably a shorter, crazier story.
CSB, Dear Penthouse Rejections and tl;dr bait:

I wanted to lose my virginity with a girl I loved and cared for...up until I was 18.  I spent a month just before I was 19 at a friend's party house getting drunk, playing video games, trying weed, and being social.  This was when Tony Hawk and the first Grand Theft Auto were big...


FFS, TWO SPACES AFTER A PERIOD ARE AN ABOMINATION. Enough said.
 
2013-02-01 04:55:42 AM  
After I finally haggled her down to twenty dollars it was the finest 5 minutes of my life spent on card board boxes behind a gas station. I can't believe it's been a week ago already.
 
2013-02-01 05:03:39 AM  
Too long don't read cool story bro:

The first time we tried we were in my truck on a back country road and it didn't work out. We were kinda nervous as we were both virgins (both 19)... Everything was going well enough. She was ready and comfy and she put a condom on me and then...
It did not fit. My penis i mean. I mean it was NOT going to go into her lady parts.  I thought it was hilarious. She didn't. It was a bit weird sitting there haveing my dick continually being bent,  watcher her trying to work it in, pressing herself down and aiming it and such. Eventually she started crying and i was like "what happened? Whats wrong?" and she let out a little sob and said -- " i just really wanted to have sex with you tonight. I had it all planned out." well we didn't have sex that night but the next date we went on she came back to my place and we did it in the guest room. Sans protection (that made the week after the week after a bit tense...) . It was great. Fantastic even. It took a bit of time but i got it in. Talk about a keeper -- felt  like she could have snapped the thing off at will.

If i have any hang ups its that i like being rough and wild but I have heard "oww not so deep" more than a few times so i end up playing it more reserved than i would sometimes like. C'est la vie...
 
2013-02-01 05:04:10 AM  
I didnt get traumatised by the first time sex but I did get a little traumatised a few months later when she got preggers by her next bf after me.......
 
2013-02-01 05:07:57 AM  

swingbozo: FFS, TWO SPACES AFTER A PERIOD ARE AN ABOMINATION. Enough said.


Talk about your pent up frustrations...
 
2013-02-01 05:19:06 AM  
Studies done since the 60's have confirmed that your first sexual encounter actually can, to a major degree, 'set' your sexual tastes.

However, it will not 'set' your sexual polarity, though, among guys, 1 in 4 will have a homosexual experience. Usually 'pre-teens' with peers.

It's not uncommon for rapists to have experienced forced or violent sex for their first time, which kind of triggers their proclivity towards 'play rape'. real rape and/or violent sex. Guys who have their first experience with a professional, like where prostitution is legal and Dad or Big Brother takes them to a 'Ranch' to become a man, usually means the guy will lean more towards prostitutes or a partner who likes to play prostitute.

If you loose your virginity during puberty, you're a lot more tuned into the environment than you think. That means you'll absorb and later recall or be affected by scents, temperature, the time of day, whether or not you were drinking or using drugs and the attitude of your partner.

A partner who ridicules or makes fun of your fumbling, first time actions can leave deep, mental scars which can pop up later in life. Sex has a VERY deep, emotional range, especially for the uninitiated.

The impact of your first time can actually affect seemingly unrelated decisions and emotions later on in life. Various factors also include your emotional state at the time.

It was a real long time ago, but I can still recall my first time, that she wore a 60's 'granny dress', the lights were low, scented candles burning, she had put on Neil Diamond, I was stoned for the first time and she looked like an angel.

To this day, the scent of Herbal Essence Green Apple shampoo can make me falter in walking as pleasant memories come flooding back. I've not seen nor heard from her in decades, but I've never forgotten that night either.

There's a whole lot of factors which go into sex beyond the initial horny stages and we're still exploring the drives, the emotions and the huge amount of variations. We understand a lot, but there's still so much more to figure out.
 
2013-02-01 06:04:49 AM  
Lost mine on my 21st birthday. We were good friends up to that point and there was some sexual tension between us up till then. It was also the first time i had alcohol. Needless to say i was a little tipsy, admitted that i wanted to have sex with her. Later she invited me up to her room... The combination of extreme excitement at being laid for the first time and whiskey dick actually worked to my favor and frustration at the same time. We we for 2 hours before she had to stop because she was getting raw... Spent the next two days cuddling her with no further sex, and a serious case of blue balls until she finally finished me off with a rather disappointing bj...

I had so much built up pressure i stained the other side of the couch i was sitting on

Things were pretty awkward between us after that, and we parted ways shortly there after...

I don't really regret it... and i wouldn't necessarily say it scarred me, but looking back it seemed a bit much to go through, i think i would have preferred the typical 30 second experience over what i ended up having... but you live and learn... a lot...
 
2013-02-01 06:08:48 AM  
In the car, lunchtime at high school. She kept saying it was no big deal if we skipped fifth period English and did it again. I said, "for me it's not, but you're the teacher!"
 
2013-02-01 06:10:41 AM  

Rik01: Studies done since the 60's have confirmed that your first sexual encounter actually can, to a major degree, 'set' your sexual tastes.


the only thing that correlates my first time and my sexual tastes would be the gender of my sexual partner...

For whatever reason, THIS had a more profound impact on my tastes than my first time:

cdn.chud.com


To this day i still have a thing for white cotton panties, white socks, and a great ass...
 
2013-02-01 06:12:44 AM  
All hot chics should lose theirs to me. Line 'em up!
 
2013-02-01 06:19:41 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Omahawg: tinfoil-hat maggie: Wyalt Derp: Especially if vagina dentata are involved.

Yes, know you know my dark secret : )

*gasp*

well that......bites

Just be gentle or did you not see the documentary.
[images.starpulse.com image 445x250]


What movie is that picture from?
 
2013-02-01 06:26:24 AM  

LLGames: tinfoil-hat maggie: Omahawg: tinfoil-hat maggie: Wyalt Derp: Especially if vagina dentata are involved.

Yes, know you know my dark secret : )

*gasp*

well that......bites

Just be gentle or did you not see the documentary.
[images.starpulse.com image 445x250]

What movie is that picture from?


isn't that from Teeth?
 
2013-02-01 06:29:16 AM  

LLGames: tinfoil-hat maggie: Omahawg: tinfoil-hat maggie: Wyalt Derp: Especially if vagina dentata are involved.

Yes, know you know my dark secret : )

*gasp*

well that......bites

Just be gentle or did you not see the documentary.
[images.starpulse.com image 445x250]

What movie is that picture from?


That would be from the movie
www.welovemoviesmorethanyou.com
And I was only kidding about it being a documentary.
 
2013-02-01 06:44:36 AM  
Lost mine to a girl much older (10 yrs) at a very young age (10 yrs) and I can only get busy with older women (30 yrs later now, but not that much senior... 5-10 yrs works) so... might be something to it.
 
2013-02-01 06:46:00 AM  
Hell,. would kinda like to tag someone 40 yrs my senior at this point... just saying...
 
2013-02-01 06:48:37 AM  
My corcumstances could mot have been less conducive to losing virginity. Gay nerd, redhead male, in the Bible Belt, poor, moving around a lot... and coming of age at the peak of AIDS and Reaganesque "just say no" absolutes. Sex would KILL you. Drugs would KILL you. Rock n' roll would KILL you (or at least make you worship Satan and kill yourself).

Add to this the teen sex comedies of the period, wherein anyone and everyone who wanted a lay had it magically delivered by the closing credits. I believed that anyone who didn't have sex by 17 must be deformed.

17 came and went. 18. Graduation. Freshman year... at a science/engineering college with a 75/25 male-female ratio. By then, I got pretty good at making up stories about all the sex I'd had "back in the day". Meanwhile, I wondered if my first time would be with a girl or a guy.

Alcohol. Drugs. The newly-emerging internet. At least I could make my own fun with those. But actual sex remained a giant cosmic joke that everyone in the world was in on except me, an obstacle that kept me from being fully human.

23. It was 1995, thr night the Braves won the World Series. The next morning, I watched the religious channels to find out if Hell had, in fact, frozen over.
 
2013-02-01 06:53:22 AM  
CIRCUMSTANCES.

/got-dam touchscreen
//oh and it was with a guy
///we keep in touch
////he's married now
//in Washington State... yeah buddy
//he's a Farker too
 
2013-02-01 06:54:54 AM  

theropod: My corcumstances

So know how ya feel/felt. That time frame was a biatch. Didn't help the first lady was kinda hot too...

 
2013-02-01 06:58:06 AM  
Just saying.... Nancy Reagan was hot, but in a BI way.... could easily have seen her in either setting, and just saying NO... well I was saying YES to that... especially that red dress she wore... to....die...for....
 
2013-02-01 06:58:44 AM  

DysphoricMania: theropod: My corcumstances

So know how ya feel/felt. That time frame was a biatch. Didn't help the first lady was kinda hot too...


Wow I think that's the first time I've heard that about Nancy, or were you talking about Barbra.

Just don't go to work at an old age home or I have a feeling you'll end up on fark in not a good way.
 
2013-02-01 06:59:25 AM  
I lost mine in Canada, so yea,  pretty scary place indeed.
 
2013-02-01 07:00:36 AM  

Creoena: I lost mine in Canada, so yea,  pretty scary place indeed.


Was he a lumberjack?
 
2013-02-01 07:02:21 AM  
Nah, it's a girl ya don't know...
 
2013-02-01 07:06:04 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Creoena: I lost mine in Canada, so yea,  pretty scary place indeed.

Was he a lumberjack?


Flannel is damn near irresistible.
 
2013-02-01 07:06:56 AM  

miss diminutive: tinfoil-hat maggie: Creoena: I lost mine in Canada, so yea,  pretty scary place indeed.

Was he a lumberjack?

Flannel is damn near irresistible.


You got that right : )
 
2013-02-01 07:09:56 AM  
Thread over in two.
 
2013-02-01 07:14:59 AM  

Hugo Zorilla: If you killed them afterwards, and dumped the body in a 55 gallon drum of acid, but kept the head as a souvenir, does it still count?


That's our Jeffrey!
(cue cheesy sit-com music)
 
2013-02-01 07:18:26 AM  
For me the major "scarring" was setting expectations. It was college, I was a freshman, she was a junior (had transferred in) and a virgin as well. I won't get into the long story of what led to our first time together, but I was shocked and happily surprised at how quickly she got into enjoying sex and her interest in the two of us trying and enjoying a variety of things together. I had never thought a woman would be into sex that much just for the sake of sex, so that established my future expectations in sexual relationships.

I also learned the benefits of keeping your mouth shut. Perhaps I'm weird but I never had the need or desire to talk about my sexual life with others, and took a lot of grief from my college friends. I'd just smile and say nothing. Its amazing how many other women around notice that. When we did break up (primarily due to her graduating), I was shocked at how quickly I received "interest", with comments such as "we appreciate guys who don't spread our business all around". Even the two women I had a threesome with my senior year are still surprised these many years later how no one else in our class knows about it.
 
2013-02-01 07:19:13 AM  
Obvious headline is obvious. I think most men have known this forever. Meet the crazy 19-21yr old who's horny all the time but cries if anyone touches her.... yea.


Being married has its perks.
 
2013-02-01 07:23:48 AM  

aaronius: Genevieve Marie: cuzsis: It's funny people are complaining about the study having parameters. All studies do. And not every person is a fit for every study. If you tried to do that, there'd be all kinds of problems (funding for your exceedingly large participant base comes to mind quickly).

I just honestly can't see the value of a study on long term sexual satisfaction as related to the loss of virginity that only covers very young people who haven't had much time to enter into other relationships.

Unfortunately, it's not exactly easy to do a study of people like you're describing.  By definition, it would take years to come to any sort of conclusion, as you would have to follow the same people for years.  But you know that, I'm sure.


If only people had some sort of number, which could identify the place they currently resided, in a way to differentiate one from another. Then, if one needed to contact them, you could send a letter to them, using that number to identify them specifically as the recipient. Of course, there would need to be a service to deliver such letters, because delivering them yourself would be defeating the purpose and as you said, not easy.

Still, one can dream.
 
2013-02-01 07:38:03 AM  
There's more scarring at Fark among guys regaining their virginity.
 
2013-02-01 07:40:45 AM  

Gulper Eel: regaining their virginity.


How exactly does one do this?
 
2013-02-01 07:43:30 AM  

KangTheMad: TenJed_77: KangTheMad: TenJed_77: 15 was drinking with some classmates when the older sister came in stoned as hell and took my beer away. Then basically ordered me to go to her room with her. Spent the next 8 or 9 months banging her in every place and position and way possible. Not traumatized in the least, I learned a lot. Still have a thing for redheads though.
/Can you have more than one first?
//Anal?
///Oral?
////Vaginal?

Please explain, your sister, or your friend's sister?
Friends older sister

Alright, that makes more sense


Although it's less interesting now..
 
2013-02-01 07:50:39 AM  
I was 16, she was 18.

It was a great summer, and I learned a lot.
 
2013-02-01 07:53:43 AM  

mariner314: After seeing Scream 2 in the theater and then at her place. It was weird and had issues getting it going. Found out I'm good at going down however.

/later learned I usually need to ease in a new partner
//girthy


How YOU doin?

/WIE?
//EIP
 
2013-02-01 07:56:02 AM  

Genevieve Marie: The only stuff that really hurt at the time was people treating me as damaged because I'd chosen to have sex.


Who does this? Okay having a kid at 17 is completely different from just having sex at 17. The latter is completely okay in my book but the former makes me run for the hills-- like-- instantly.
 
2013-02-01 08:00:50 AM  
i really should have done it with my first love.  now i think about her every day.

but she won't talk to me cause she thinks i'm gay
 
2013-02-01 08:10:42 AM  
My first time was awful. I was terrible at it, and so was she. Ditto the second time.

Then we decided to slow down and get it right. A nice, long, hot shower together... Followed by a good five minutes of enthusiastic cunnelingus... Followed by a good slow grinding fark on the carpeted bathroom floor.

I consider that to be my real first time. And it was glorious.
 
2013-02-01 08:11:41 AM  

Genevieve Marie: tinfoil-hat maggie: Well said, I didn't RTFA or anything but really, what are they trying to prove?

Probably that True Love Waits and OMG DON'T HAVE SEX THE WORLD WILL COME CRASHING DOWN AROUND YOU AND NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU AGAIN.

Honestly, I think the idea that you're damaged or ruined by having sex screws up waaay more people than sex itself. Looking back when I was younger- I had a lot of sex. It was mostly highly enjoyable. The only stuff that really hurt at the time was people treating me as damaged because I'd chosen to have sex.


Sex does ruin things.  Keep your head on straight and show some self-discipline.  It's harder to do that if you have sex too early. The only people who make it out alive are those with good family and good social support networks behind them.   And it's much easier to have those networks, if you're a male.

Off topic, looking at the male stories so far on the first two page, a whole lot of 'I was taken advantage of by a chick who didn't care about me and who I didn't care about, at least it's over with' and 'at least it's over with'.  Fewer 'i wanted it to be special' (though they exist, they just are dwarfed by the first group).  Is that reality, or memory not being reliable for one group or the other?
 
2013-02-01 08:16:09 AM  

miss diminutive: Gulper Eel: regaining their virginity.

How exactly does one do this?


1) Spend too much time on Fark.
2) ?
3) Brood.
4) Return to 1).
 
2013-02-01 08:16:12 AM  

Bedstead Polisher: Great article.
Paraphrased: "The study included only college aged students whose first encounter was heterosexual, consensual and within the last 3 years. Anyone not fitting that profile was excluded from the study."


The author seemed pissed about that, which means she doesn't understand removing variables and isn't happy with the conclusion.

Not saying the study is right or wrong, but the author comes across as ignorant of the reasons why you want to exclude variables.
 
2013-02-01 08:27:46 AM  

kim jong-un: Bedstead Polisher: Great article.
Paraphrased: "The study included only college aged students whose first encounter was heterosexual, consensual and within the last 3 years. Anyone not fitting that profile was excluded from the study."

The author seemed pissed about that, which means she doesn't understand removing variables and isn't happy with the conclusion.

Not saying the study is right or wrong, but the author comes across as ignorant of the reasons why you want to exclude variables.


like rape?
 
2013-02-01 08:56:52 AM  
I lost my virginity in the parking lot of a State Historical Park. Antiques and schoolhouses still do it for me...
 
2013-02-01 08:57:43 AM  
I hadn't thought about this in a while...
I was 15 and playing cricket, some of the boys were worried the coach was watching them in the showers. There were jokes about him being gay (I doubt we'd even heard of a pedo back then (but, I am fairly sure what he actually was, was aspie. Man he loved those cricket stats)). But I digress...

I was batting earlier up the order than usual (can't remember why) and some big bastard threw a blistering full toss at me which caught me with one nut outside the cup. The coach's wife helped me to the changerooms and started 'first aid'. She was about 5 foot 3 (same hight as me at that time), early 30s and had that curvy look of a large breasted short woman who has had a couple of kids.
But, I wasn't really paying attention to that, I was paying attention to a recently dinted nut. Seems though that part of me was paying attention because as she applied the ice, part of me stood up and saluted. She looked me in the eyes (she had these very pale blue eyes) gave me a playful squeeze and said "looks like it is all in working order, but we'd best make sure" I'm fairly sure I blushed at that point, I know that the answer I gave made no sense. I think I tried to make a joke and I got a bit of a laugh from her as she slipped her hand up to the waistband of my whites and unbuttoned them. Before I could say anything else she had me in her hand, looked down at me and gave me a kiss (no, not on the lips). "big enough" she said, "now lets see if you can work out what it is for". She gave me a very big grin and lifted up her dress (it was a long 1980s floral, summer number). She had really thick dark hair, so I was expecting her to be very hairy (it was the 80s, all the girls in dad's magazines were hairy) but she had hardly any hair at all.
She climbed up next to me, put a leg over me and slipped me inside her (no, 15 year old me didn't even stop to consider protection, nor what I might need protection from), and as I lay on the massage bench she rocked slowly back and forth. Every time I started to get urgent and fast, she'd put her hands on my shoulders, push me down, kiss me and say "patience" with a very lusty smile.
I suspect that the 'luck' of a cricket ball's impact meant that I lasted a bloody long time my first time. And slightly longer the second (which happened as we showered afterwards). The 3rd time was her going down on me and then we managed a 4th (much quicker) before we heard the team coming in for tea.
She assured me it was a one time thing and told me that it would be dreadfully rude of me to tell anyone. That one time thing happened a couple of other times that season, once in the off-season when I dropped by to see the coach about a reference, but he wasn't home (I don't think she ever gave him my message, because I got no reference, but what I did get was a crash course on when and how to make best use of my tongue) and there was one last time at my 18th when she whispered that she had brought me a special present (I had to work hard to give my girlfriend the slip for that one, but I confessed later and I believe the girlfriend sought her out and thanked her for (her words) breaking me in well).

I'm not sure what lasting scars I have from that. I still like curvy short women, I still like to use my tongue. But hey, I also like tall athletic women who use their tongue and tall curvy women who ride me cowboy style and short athletic girls who like me to....

I think the only real scar I have from that day is the way I flinch when someone bowls to me at pace.
 
Displayed 50 of 265 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report