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(io9)   Twelve things that ruined Superman   (io9.com) divider line 142
    More: Interesting, Superman, Dawson's Creek, comic book creator, Man of Steel, Superboy, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Brandon Routh, Martha Kent  
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10913 clicks; posted to Geek » on 31 Jan 2013 at 8:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-31 06:42:40 PM
img.gawkerassets.com
say what now?
 
2013-01-31 06:45:07 PM
13. Obama

~O'Reilly
 
2013-01-31 06:45:22 PM
Counting or not counting that Superman is a lame superhero in the first place?
 
2013-01-31 06:55:13 PM
I find 99% of Superman stuff to be horribly boring. BUT the one piece of Superman media that I do love (and will watch anytime) is when he finally gets to unleash all his power and deliver an epic beatdown to Darkseid.

That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it, can't ya, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am!

Youtube
 
wee [TotalFark]
2013-01-31 06:59:08 PM
The only Superman worth watching/reading/etc is the one in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.
 
2013-01-31 07:00:20 PM
I'll defend the use of Drunk-Ass Superman in Superman III.

Other than that... meh.
 
2013-01-31 07:10:45 PM
www.iep.utm.edu

"The most grievous being his lack of an uber mustache."
 
2013-01-31 07:38:33 PM

wee: The only Superman worth watching/reading/etc is the one in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.


That's got one of my favorite Superman moments: when he rips the top off the Batmobile and finds Robin inside. "Isn't it a school night?"
 
2013-01-31 08:18:33 PM
1. Superman III
2-10.Superman IV: The Quest For Peace
11. Superman Returns
12. The New 52
 
2013-01-31 08:20:23 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-31 08:24:42 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: [Drunk-Ass Superman drinking]


You are now my favorite person in the world for the next hour.
 
2013-01-31 08:24:56 PM
The only Superman analysis/critique worth reading was written over 40 years ago, and it's right here:  http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
 
2013-01-31 08:35:47 PM
I'm torn.

It has some legit stuff like JMS run and Smallville, but it has incredibly idiotic mind-numbing stuff such as "he flies" or "Lois Lane" that I can't take this bulls*** seriously. Par for the course with Gawker.
 
2013-01-31 08:39:31 PM
The animated series ruined Superman as well, because it was such a huge success that nothing else could really compare to it. If you want to see a great version of Superman watch the animated movie The Dark Knight Returns Part 2. I liked it even better than The Dark Knight Rises.
 
2013-01-31 08:41:33 PM

scottydoesntknow: I find 99% of Superman stuff to be horribly boring. BUT the one piece of Superman media that I do love (and will watch anytime) is when he finally gets to unleash all his power and deliver an epic beatdown to Darkseid.

That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it, can't ya, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am!

Youtube


The whole Timm/Dini animated canon is just plain awesome, but JLU might be the most awesome of the awesome.  I'm of the opinion that JLU Season 2, taken as a whole, is one of the greatest superhero stories ever told.
 
2013-01-31 08:42:41 PM
13.  Superman takes up horse back riding.
 
2013-01-31 08:45:38 PM

NeedlesslyCanadian: Counting or not counting that Superman is a lame superhero in the first place?


This.  I never saw the appeal of the character.  Every bit of it is flawed.  Ridiculous underwear on the outside costume with unnecessary cape, a secret identity a fetus in a jar could figure out, piled on attributes and backstory, more powers, last survivor of Krypton becomes one of many, different kinds of Kryptonite for different effects, some truly horrible villains, powers that make the JLA obsolete but he still joins..and on and on.
 
2013-01-31 08:50:23 PM

scottydoesntknow: I find 99% of Superman stuff to be horribly boring. BUT the one piece of Superman media that I do love (and will watch anytime) is when he finally gets to unleash all his power and deliver an epic beatdown to Darkseid.

That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it, can't ya, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am!

Youtube


As much as I love that little speech [spoiler alert] it's kinda diminished by Supes subsequently getting smacked down and having to be bailed out by someone else's hail-Mary gambit.

Oh, and what ruin Superman for me is the "situationally adaptive powers". I had some Superman cartoons on VHS growing up and I swear each episode involved him unveiling a new power.
 
2013-01-31 08:50:32 PM

wee: The only Superman worth watching/reading/etc is the one in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.


The one who was Ronald Reagan's biatch?
 
2013-01-31 08:51:12 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I'll defend the use of Drunk-Ass Superman in Superman III.


How can Superman even get drunk? You get drunk when your liver gets overloaded with booze and it can't process it all. How can that happen to Superman? Same thing with Hancock.

So they're not using John Williams' score in the the next film? I suppose that's one way to go.
 
2013-01-31 08:52:04 PM

Mad_Radhu: wee: The only Superman worth watching/reading/etc is the one in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.

The one who was Ronald Reagan's biatch?


He was Batman's biatch as well.
 
2013-01-31 08:53:44 PM

Mugato: How can Superman even get drunk? You get drunk when your liver gets overloaded with booze and it can't process it all. How can that happen to Superman? Same thing with Hancock.


Maybe an anchovy olive coated with a dusting of Kryptonite?


Mugato: So they're not using John Williams' score in the the next film? I suppose that's one way to go.


I'd be alright with that. They didn't rehash Danny Elfman's music for the Nolan Batman movies, and that worked out a-okay.
 
2013-01-31 08:55:53 PM

Mad_Radhu: wee: The only Superman worth watching/reading/etc is the one in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.

The one who was Ronald Reagan's biatch?


You mean Lex Luthor's biatch right?

/Just watched Dark Knight Returns Part 2.  The final fight scene was AWESOME
 
2013-01-31 08:56:08 PM

wee: The only Superman worth watching/reading/etc is the one in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.


I would argue that MIller is partially responsible for the ruination of comics today. Dark Knight Returns was exceptional and a good piece of comics literature, but the problem is that with the success of DKR and Watchmen, 'deconstruction' became far too popular. Suddenly, every character had to deal with vastly amplified problems. Comics from the big two became less and less about action and adventure and more about how much torment a hero can take. When Stan Lee wanted to give superheroes real-world problems, he never intended it to go to the extreme that is has these days. It's no longer enough to have Peter Parker worry about making the rent or Aunt May's health; now, he has to get beaten to a bloody pulp, framed for murder and suffer through a Daily Bugle smear campaign all while Aunt May lies comatose in Manhattan General ICU.

Comics have gone from the 'Saturday Morning Matinee' type of stories to the 'Saw Torture Porn' type of stories.
 
2013-01-31 09:05:48 PM
Scott Lobdell?
 
2013-01-31 09:06:29 PM

HeartBurnKid: scottydoesntknow: I find 99% of Superman stuff to be horribly boring. BUT the one piece of Superman media that I do love (and will watch anytime) is when he finally gets to unleash all his power and deliver an epic beatdown to Darkseid.

That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it, can't ya, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am!

Youtube

The whole Timm/Dini animated canon is just plain awesome, but JLU might be the most awesome of the awesome.  I'm of the opinion that JLU Season 2, taken as a whole, is one of the greatest superhero stories ever told.


Clash is a GLORIOUS episode, with Captain Marvel and Superman absolutely WRECKING a city, AND Superman is wrong. And Batman knows they've been set up.
 
2013-01-31 09:07:07 PM
io9 ruined Superman because io9 ruins everything.
 
2013-01-31 09:07:21 PM
I can't tell you how much I hated Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane. It was irrational, I know, but yet,I hated her. How the hell can Lois Lane be a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist with years of experience when she's just barely 23? And then there's the whole having a 6 year old kid thing. Was Lois Lane, star reporter, banging Superman when she was a teenager?
 
2013-01-31 09:11:15 PM
Number 1

nakeddc.com
 
2013-01-31 09:13:53 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: NeedlesslyCanadian: Counting or not counting that Superman is a lame superhero in the first place?

This.  I never saw the appeal of the character.  Every bit of it is flawed.  Ridiculous underwear on the outside costume with unnecessary cape, a secret identity a fetus in a jar could figure out, piled on attributes and backstory, more powers, last survivor of Krypton becomes one of many, different kinds of Kryptonite for different effects, some truly horrible villains, powers that make the JLA obsolete but he still joins..and on and on.


I never liked the fact that the dick can hang out in space, listening to everything on Earth, and instead of tracking down terrorist groups or serial killers or drug gangs massacring huge swathes of certain areas of Mexico, he decides to stop...a bank robbery.
 
2013-01-31 09:14:02 PM
13. Superman at World's End, which somehow makes THIS boring:

www.redshirt.co.uk
 
2013-01-31 09:14:20 PM

NeedlesslyCanadian: Counting or not counting that Superman is a the lamest superhero in the first place?


ftfy
 
2013-01-31 09:15:54 PM

doglover: Number 1

[nakeddc.com image 544x523]


You've lost me. Why is this being trotted out?
 
2013-01-31 09:18:27 PM

Apos: doglover: Number 1

[nakeddc.com image 544x523]

You've lost me. Why is this being trotted out?


I think it's Comet, the Wonder Horse that deflowered Kara Zor-El
 
2013-01-31 09:18:44 PM

AdolfOliverPanties: NeedlesslyCanadian: Counting or not counting that Superman is a lame superhero in the first place?

This.  I never saw the appeal of the character.  Every bit of it is flawed.  Ridiculous underwear on the outside costume with unnecessary cape, a secret identity a fetus in a jar could figure out, piled on attributes and backstory, more powers, last survivor of Krypton becomes one of many, different kinds of Kryptonite for different effects, some truly horrible villains, powers that make the JLA obsolete but he still joins..and on and on.


Superman vs The Elite is actually a pretty decent animated movie.
 
2013-01-31 09:20:17 PM

Apos: doglover: Number 1

[nakeddc.com image 544x523]

You've lost me. Why is this being trotted out?


What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
 
2013-01-31 09:22:19 PM

I_Am_Weasel: 13.  Superman takes up horse back riding.


Heh, lolled hard on that.
 
2013-01-31 09:23:31 PM

AntonChigger: Mad_Radhu: wee: The only Superman worth watching/reading/etc is the one in Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.

The one who was Ronald Reagan's biatch?

You mean Lex Luthor's biatch right?

/Just watched Dark Knight Returns Part 2.  The final fight scene was AWESOME


I'm trying to pretend DK2 didn't happen.
 
2013-01-31 09:23:34 PM
Re: #12...

This was the outcome, so more power to it I say!

www.anime.com
 
2013-01-31 09:24:27 PM

Fano: Apos: doglover: Number 1

[nakeddc.com image 544x523]

You've lost me. Why is this being trotted out?

I think it's Comet, the Wonder Horse that deflowered Kara Zor-El


paul.rutgers.edu

You did what?
 
2013-01-31 09:25:20 PM

baka-san: Re: #12...

This was the outcome, so more power to it I say!

[www.anime.com image 380x344]


I see what you did there...
 
2013-01-31 09:28:36 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Mugato: So they're not using John Williams' score in the the next film? I suppose that's one way to go.

I'd be alright with that. They didn't rehash Danny Elfman's music for the Nolan Batman movies, and that worked out a-okay.


Danny Elfman's no John Williams and the Batman score is no Superman score. I doubt the origin story with Marlon Brando and the Christmas tree ornament spaceship is going to improved upon either.
 
2013-01-31 09:49:44 PM

Mugato: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Mugato: So they're not using John Williams' score in the the next film? I suppose that's one way to go.

I'd be alright with that. They didn't rehash Danny Elfman's music for the Nolan Batman movies, and that worked out a-okay.

Danny Elfman's no John Williams and the Batman score is no Superman score. I doubt the origin story with Marlon Brando and the Christmas tree ornament spaceship is going to improved upon either.


At this point there's no reason to ever film an origin for Superman or Spider-man ever again. Everyone knows the gist of it.
 
2013-01-31 09:50:01 PM

Fano: HeartBurnKid: scottydoesntknow: I find 99% of Superman stuff to be horribly boring. BUT the one piece of Superman media that I do love (and will watch anytime) is when he finally gets to unleash all his power and deliver an epic beatdown to Darkseid.

That man won't quit as long as he can still draw a breath. None of my teammates will. Me? I've got a different problem. I feel like I live in a world made of cardboard. Always taking constant care not to break something. To break someone. Never allowing myself to lose control, even for a moment, or someone could die. But you can take it, can't ya, big man? What we have here is a rare opportunity for me to cut loose, and show you just how powerful I really am!

Youtube

The whole Timm/Dini animated canon is just plain awesome, but JLU might be the most awesome of the awesome.  I'm of the opinion that JLU Season 2, taken as a whole, is one of the greatest superhero stories ever told.

Clash is a GLORIOUS episode, with Captain Marvel and Superman absolutely WRECKING a city, AND Superman is wrong. And Batman knows they've been set up.


Lets not forget the super awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUL_Oyo8Asc Man who has everything episode. Alan Moore I love you so.
 
2013-01-31 09:51:25 PM

doglover: Apos: doglover: Number 1

[nakeddc.com image 544x523]

You've lost me. Why is this being trotted out?

What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?


Damn it, I....can't believe I didn't get this immediately. Well played.

/Fark polo

/
 
2013-01-31 10:10:07 PM
It might just be me but the list sounds like a Superman hater ripping into him just to rip in to him.
 
2013-01-31 10:12:42 PM

grimlock1972: It might just be me but the list sounds like a Superman hater ripping into him just to rip in to him.


Why doesn't he put the entire IO9 in a bottle?
 
2013-01-31 10:27:08 PM
www.blogcdn.com

These shenanigans turned me off a bit.
 
2013-01-31 10:30:33 PM
As lame as Superman is, this was the best cartoon ever:

upload.wikimedia.org

//Hotlinks are hot.
 
2013-01-31 10:53:07 PM
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
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