Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   It's difficult out in the wild for a bro with nothing but a cheese knife, blowtorch, French press, gin, tonic water, axe to throw at logs and a little nylon island all to himself   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, cheese knife, masculinity, Y chromosomes, Eagle Scout, islands  
•       •       •

12407 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2013 at 5:06 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-31 07:03:30 PM  
3 votes:
I love how he calls outside 'the Wild.'  And, you know, they're right next to a road.

"To wake up wet, cold, shivering, and warm ourselves by a fire the next morning."

I bet you'd feel better if you just did it right away.

"Each guy wasn't told what to do, but they found a job, they found a place where they could lead, a place where they could be responsible..."

You know who talks like that?  People with no actual responsibilities.  I'm the sole provider for a family of five.  That's responsibility.  Choosing where to lay out the artisanal cheeses so they don't soften too much because of the fire?  Yeesh.

"Contrary to the euphemism, man is not an island."

Well, someone doesn't know what a euphemism is.

Also, the verse in question, taken from Donne is specifically the opposite.  The bloody name of the poem is 'No Man is an Island.'  It also shows that he doesn't know his Hemingway.  He's not cultured, he just thinks he is.  He's the guy in Good Will Hunting who didn't get her number.  How do you like them apples?

"The craft cocktails and artisan foods."

That's how you get yourself tied in your sleeping bag and hung in a tree.

"We quickly realized we'd quickly become a Band of Brothers."

The men of Agincourt, Easy Company, and this pack of douches.  Jesus wept.
2013-01-31 05:33:39 PM  
3 votes:
"No man is an island - yet every man has a little peninsula, and every man has a safe harbor. And we shared them with each other, under the starry sky..."
2013-01-31 05:27:44 PM  
3 votes:
When we camp, it's more like this..
2013-01-31 08:43:08 PM  
2 votes:

KWess: noitsnot: KWess: I love how he calls outside 'the Wild.'  And, you know, they're right next to a road.

"To wake up wet, cold, shivering, and warm ourselves by a fire the next morning."

Campgrounds make me nuts when people wake up and immediately build a huge campfire IN THE MORNING - WTF?  It gonna be nice and warm - probably even hot - in like three hours, and you gotta smoke everybody else out?

Heh, you're right. Plus, for more than a thousand a day I'd expect a tent that didn't leave me 'wet & shivering.'

It's probably the bedwetting that got 'em.
2013-01-31 05:48:38 PM  
2 votes:
I would cry for them, but real men don't.
2013-01-31 05:21:44 PM  
2 votes:
I read the article and thought it was excessively cynical; a respect and appreciation for nature is always a good thing, and if it takes a cheesy hipster-targeted "wilderness expedition" to achieve that, then, I guess that's ok.

Then I watched the video. Yeah, I stand corrected.
2013-01-31 05:18:09 PM  
2 votes:
"....and after we gave each other a soothing massage in the moonlight...."
2013-01-31 05:17:40 PM  
2 votes:

Artisanal Manliness?

Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!! *gasp, gasp* Bwahahahahaaaaa!!!!

"they unload cars and set up a campsite even though no one specifically told them to do that. "

Careful, don't break a nail, guys!

2013-02-01 01:06:25 AM  
1 vote:


white folks problems
Sorry, didn't mean to intrude, I'll just go sit down in the cheap seats where I belong
2013-01-31 08:28:59 PM  
1 vote:
  My wife works for a high end cosmetics company that has a men's line aimed at these types. She recently had a visit from the company president and she was very nervous about it. When he showed up he was wearing jeans, a flannel shirt with a sweater and work boots- your basic bear gear. She told him that it was refreshing to see an executive dressed so down to earth. Flash forward to the next day and my old lady is having lunch with one of the buyers from her store. She remarked how it was cool that the company president didn't wear expensive Armani suits like all the other execs. The buyer started laughing. Turns out she had also complimented him on his outfit the day before and he told her all about it. The sweater was hand knit from handspun wool in Ireland, the jeans were tailored on an old pattern for work jeans, and the work boots were made especially for him in Italy. The whole outfit cost $4-5,000!
  I don't want to be a part of this world any more.
2013-01-31 07:50:07 PM  
1 vote:

Zeb Hesselgresser: I'll defend one (1) thing. I brought a stainless steel French press on a camping trip.

Good coffee is important to me. Whitewater trip, not backpacking. Threw it in the trunk.

Well your Mother must be very proud, Miss.

/I kid
//sort of
2013-01-31 06:59:16 PM  
1 vote:
There is a difference between picnicking and camping.
2013-01-31 05:44:56 PM  
1 vote:
That all sounds gayer than watching Brokeback Mountain while sandwiched between Richard Simmons and George Takei.
2013-01-31 05:42:10 PM  
1 vote:
I read the Farkline and thought "WTF am I reading."

So I middle-clicked the link to open it in a new tab, but I forgot about it.

About thirty minutes later I noticed the tab and started reading. My reaction was "WTF am I reading."

I closed the tab, thinking I had misclicked somewhere.

Then I came back to Fark and I noticed the Farkline and thought "WTF am I reading."

It's an awful cycle.
2013-01-31 05:41:47 PM  
1 vote:

Ow! That was my feelings!: $3500. Three thousand, five hundred dollars to rent a glorified dirt bike and camp for 3 nights. This is the funniest shiat I've seen in a long time. Thanks theorellior!

De nada. I felt it was my duty to share with my fellow Farkers this heartwarming journey of shared hardship and discovery.
2013-01-31 05:26:01 PM  
1 vote:

fusillade762: Manhood Camping

Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.

Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.


Soooo... it's a sex thing?
2013-01-31 05:24:45 PM  
1 vote:

fusillade762: Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

I know "JO" probably means something very New Agey but I immediately parsed it as "jerk off".
2013-01-31 05:21:33 PM  
1 vote:
Subby here. You owe it to yourselves to watch the unedited version of the video on Vimeo. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or facepalm. Also, I can't tell whether this is parody or real. Too much time in the Politics Tab has got me seeing Poe's Law everywhere.
2013-01-31 05:14:56 PM  
1 vote:
2013-01-31 05:09:27 PM  
1 vote:
If one of you talented types could intercut this video with footage from Grizzly Man, I'd be much obliged.
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.