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(Gawker)   It's difficult out in the wild for a bro with nothing but a cheese knife, blowtorch, French press, gin, tonic water, axe to throw at logs and a little nylon island all to himself   (gawker.com) divider line 100
    More: Amusing, cheese knife, masculinity, Y chromosomes, Eagle Scout, islands  
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12376 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2013 at 5:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-31 05:09:27 PM  
If one of you talented types could intercut this video with footage from Grizzly Man, I'd be much obliged.
 
2013-01-31 05:12:37 PM  
Sounds like a perfect vacation for MacGyver
 
2013-01-31 05:14:51 PM  
watch the last 3 seconds. I am pretty sure thats will wheaton on the right  side.
 
2013-01-31 05:14:56 PM  
 
2013-01-31 05:15:24 PM  
Possibly the gayest fad yet.
 
2013-01-31 05:16:22 PM  
The human race is doomed. Farking hipsters.
 
2013-01-31 05:17:40 PM  

Artisanal Manliness?

Bwahahahahahahahahahaaaa!!!! *gasp, gasp* Bwahahahahaaaaa!!!!


"they unload cars and set up a campsite even though no one specifically told them to do that. "


Careful, don't break a nail, guys!

 
2013-01-31 05:18:09 PM  
"....and after we gave each other a soothing massage in the moonlight...."
 
2013-01-31 05:19:20 PM  
i2.listal.com
 
2013-01-31 05:21:33 PM  
Subby here. You owe it to yourselves to watch the unedited version of the video on Vimeo. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or facepalm. Also, I can't tell whether this is parody or real. Too much time in the Politics Tab has got me seeing Poe's Law everywhere.
 
2013-01-31 05:21:44 PM  
I read the article and thought it was excessively cynical; a respect and appreciation for nature is always a good thing, and if it takes a cheesy hipster-targeted "wilderness expedition" to achieve that, then, I guess that's ok.

Then I watched the video. Yeah, I stand corrected.
 
2013-01-31 05:22:46 PM  
ugh, I don't know how to convey how I feel about this. It's like he's so farking proud he's the first one to figure out camping, and he's not even doing it right. It's like a spoiled little shiat telling a grizzled oil worker how he had a really tough day mowing the lawn but now he know what really hard work is about.
 
2013-01-31 05:22:49 PM  
keep that sh*t simple. a tent, some gear in a pack, good friends and a few beers.

SMH at this overwrought hipster camping
 
2013-01-31 05:23:56 PM  

theorellior: Subby here. You owe it to yourselves to watch the unedited version of the video on Vimeo. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or facepalm. Also, I can't tell whether this is parody or real. Too much time in the Politics Tab has got me seeing Poe's Law everywhere.


I couldn't tell either, but I am leaning toward's real, but you're right, maybe we are all getting trolled. I hope.
 
2013-01-31 05:24:45 PM  

fusillade762: Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.


I know "JO" probably means something very New Agey but I immediately parsed it as "jerk off".
 
2013-01-31 05:26:01 PM  

fusillade762: Manhood Camping

Manhood Camping Firequest. Lookin' for a 100% for real bros to share/experience manhood in all its glory. This is for real, I don't want to waste my time or yours. 100% JO and manhood, no sugar added. I AM NOT GAY. Don't even think this is a sex thing, it's all about manhood.

Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

THIS IS NOT A SEX THING.


Soooo... it's a sex thing?
 
2013-01-31 05:27:24 PM  

theorellior: fusillade762: Looking for bros to head into the woods and bond by fire, experience life as men once lived it, JO circle, and fire/vision quests.

I know "JO" probably means something very New Agey but I immediately parsed it as "jerk off".


No... you parsed correctly.
 
2013-01-31 05:27:26 PM  
Yes, but was it too warm for the Brie?
 
2013-01-31 05:27:26 PM  
Artisanal Manliness? That's it,  I'm joining a farking militia so we can take this country back.
 
2013-01-31 05:27:44 PM  
When we camp, it's more like this..

www.campfirecapers.com
 
2013-01-31 05:28:23 PM  
Im telling you thats wheaton at the end on the right side. looks dead on.
 
2013-01-31 05:33:39 PM  
"No man is an island - yet every man has a little peninsula, and every man has a safe harbor. And we shared them with each other, under the starry sky..."
 
2013-01-31 05:36:04 PM  
$3500. Three thousand, five hundred dollars to rent a glorified dirt bike and camp for 3 nights. This is the funniest shiat I've seen in a long time. Thanks theorellior!
 
2013-01-31 05:36:37 PM  
I just threw up a little.
 
2013-01-31 05:40:17 PM  

perigee: "No man is an island - yet every man has a little peninsula, and every man has a safe harbor. And we shared them with each other, under the starry sky..."


See, I know it's de rigeur to make gay jokes, but the whole group, setup and video were so bloodless I just can't see any of them indulging in homosex or any other similar activity. Things like that would mess up their artisanal stubble and matching chukka boots and might keep those rosemary-marinated prawns from going down properly.
 
2013-01-31 05:40:27 PM  
DWTFV, but we eat like kings when we're camping.  There's nothing better than eating first class in inhospitable conditions.  And it's a treat to be able to pull out the iPad and catch that football game when you're fireside.  It's akin to Amish with internet.

/judge me all you want, I got this shiat dialled in
 
2013-01-31 05:41:47 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: $3500. Three thousand, five hundred dollars to rent a glorified dirt bike and camp for 3 nights. This is the funniest shiat I've seen in a long time. Thanks theorellior!


De nada. I felt it was my duty to share with my fellow Farkers this heartwarming journey of shared hardship and discovery.
 
2013-01-31 05:42:10 PM  
I read the Farkline and thought "WTF am I reading."

So I middle-clicked the link to open it in a new tab, but I forgot about it.

About thirty minutes later I noticed the tab and started reading. My reaction was "WTF am I reading."

I closed the tab, thinking I had misclicked somewhere.

Then I came back to Fark and I noticed the Farkline and thought "WTF am I reading."

It's an awful cycle.
 
2013-01-31 05:43:06 PM  
I grew up in the middle of nowhere on a dirt road with the only sign of other people being a light at a farm that was a few miles away. Spending all day outside and then walking in to a warm bed, hot water, and a well stocked fridge and pantry was nice. I love nature, but I've never felt an urge to go camping or do whatever it is that this video is about. That's not a knock against camping. Plenty of my friends who grew up in a very similar way love to camp. I just don't feel like I need the uncomfortable nights to complete my experience and I don't feel like I'm missing whatever the guys in that video apparently found.

Also, when I go back there, I don't put away my phone to get rid of the distraction. I put it away because I can't get a signal. How far away from civilization are these guys going?
 
2013-01-31 05:43:39 PM  
i laughed so hard i cried, i am buying a farking motorcycle this summer.
 
2013-01-31 05:44:32 PM  

theorellior: Ow! That was my feelings!: $3500. Three thousand, five hundred dollars to rent a glorified dirt bike and camp for 3 nights. This is the funniest shiat I've seen in a long time. Thanks theorellior!

De nada. I felt it was my duty to share with my fellow Farkers this heartwarming journey of shared hardship and discovery.


I'm in the wrong business.
 
2013-01-31 05:44:56 PM  
That all sounds gayer than watching Brokeback Mountain while sandwiched between Richard Simmons and George Takei.
 
2013-01-31 05:46:58 PM  
27.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-31 05:48:38 PM  
I would cry for them, but real men don't.
 
2013-01-31 05:52:28 PM  
Farking city people.
 
2013-01-31 05:55:44 PM  
That seemed like a parody to me. Does anyone not like those douchey trips though?
 
2013-01-31 05:55:53 PM  
All dudebromans? Artis-anal indeed.
 
2013-01-31 06:04:47 PM  
These guys didn't farking even kill anything.   Pffft
 
2013-01-31 06:07:16 PM  
Totally bogus.  You can find much better keychains here.
 
2013-01-31 06:11:05 PM  

obamadidcoke: Is that real, or is it a Portlandia type parody.
'cause if it's a parody then it's pretty cool but if its real, man o man.

/that can't be real



Maybe, but having met more than my fair share of 'urban hipster-types' it's believable to me.  Whatever, I laughed.
 
2013-01-31 06:19:40 PM  

Ow! That was my feelings!: obamadidcoke: Is that real, or is it a Portlandia type parody.
'cause if it's a parody then it's pretty cool but if its real, man o man.

/that can't be real


Maybe, but having met more than my fair share of 'urban hipster-types' it's believable to me.  Whatever, I laughed.



Californians
 
2013-01-31 06:41:46 PM  
So did they eat any Brownies?
 
2013-01-31 06:46:19 PM  
This article contains the word "bosom," a charming word that doesn't get nearly enough use. Bosom.
 
2013-01-31 06:52:51 PM  

WordyGrrl: This article contains the word "bosom," a charming word that doesn't get nearly enough use. Bosom.


Go on...
 
2013-01-31 06:54:24 PM  
If this isn't a parody then I weep for mankind.Or a least for white urban males.
 
2013-01-31 06:59:16 PM  
There is a difference between picnicking and camping.
 
2013-01-31 06:59:32 PM  

theorellior: Subby here. You owe it to yourselves to watch the unedited version of the video on Vimeo. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or facepalm. Also, I can't tell whether this is parody or real. Too much time in the Politics Tab has got me seeing Poe's Law everywhere.


I watched it, and I was horrified. It's real.
 
2013-01-31 07:02:17 PM  

TheDirtyNacho: Ow! That was my feelings!: obamadidcoke: Is that real, or is it a Portlandia type parody.
'cause if it's a parody then it's pretty cool but if its real, man o man.

/that can't be real


Maybe, but having met more than my fair share of 'urban hipster-types' it's believable to me.  Whatever, I laughed.


Californians


Actually, the term is "city slickers." We tend to call them flatlanders, tenderfoots, and/or turkeys.

You can find them in every city on this dirtball. Texas has quite a few, as I recall. Seen 'em all over Houston and Austin, like ants scurrying around. New York City is chock full of them too.
 
2013-01-31 07:02:31 PM  

tcan: If this isn't a parody then I weep for mankind.Or a least for white urban males.


Hey, don't lump us all in with those.....whatever they are.
 
2013-01-31 07:03:30 PM  
I love how he calls outside 'the Wild.'  And, you know, they're right next to a road.

"To wake up wet, cold, shivering, and warm ourselves by a fire the next morning."

I bet you'd feel better if you just did it right away.

"Each guy wasn't told what to do, but they found a job, they found a place where they could lead, a place where they could be responsible..."

You know who talks like that?  People with no actual responsibilities.  I'm the sole provider for a family of five.  That's responsibility.  Choosing where to lay out the artisanal cheeses so they don't soften too much because of the fire?  Yeesh.

"Contrary to the euphemism, man is not an island."

Well, someone doesn't know what a euphemism is.

Also, the verse in question, taken from Donne is specifically the opposite.  The bloody name of the poem is 'No Man is an Island.'  It also shows that he doesn't know his Hemingway.  He's not cultured, he just thinks he is.  He's the guy in Good Will Hunting who didn't get her number.  How do you like them apples?

"The craft cocktails and artisan foods."

That's how you get yourself tied in your sleeping bag and hung in a tree.

"We quickly realized we'd quickly become a Band of Brothers."

The men of Agincourt, Easy Company, and this pack of douches.  Jesus wept.
 
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