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(truTV)   "You can only get chicken pox once", "Don't go in the pool after you eat", "Drink 8 glasses of water every day", and other myths that plague society   (trutv.com) divider line 39
    More: Unlikely, innate immune system  
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18882 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2013 at 3:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-31 03:11:16 PM  
12 votes:

vernonFL: You can't get herpes from a toilet seat.


You can if the last guy hasn't gotten up yet.
2013-01-31 02:42:40 PM  
10 votes:
If you swallow a seed, it can attach itself to your stomach lining and whatever plant it is might begin to grow inside you. If the plant is large enough, this can cause death or extreme infection.

If you miss even a trace of feces when wiping after a bowel movement, parasites attracted to the smell might crawl into your anus at night and hatch their eggs there.

Your brain can only handle a certain amount of spinning before it shuts down and you die. This number is different for every person. Keep this in mind next time you feel tempted by a merry-go-round

Every human being is only granted 6000 orgasms in their life. Use them wisely. Remember that a sneeze is basically a mouth orgasm, and they do count.

All women are 1 drink away from a passionate lesbian encounter.

If you fall asleep in a closed room where a fan is running, you will die from suffocation.

Most hand sanitizers contain extremely high concentrations of alcohol and can actually be lethally toxic to young children and the elderly.

Air fresheners will slowly, over time, erode your olfactory nerves and can cause nasal cancer. Plug-in air fresheners accelerate this effect.

If you sneeze and fart at the same time, your digestive tract will explode inside you.

Sometimes, if you shift your eyes quickly, you may see spots swirling across your vision. These are brain-eating bacteria trying to burrow into your skull. Remember to move your eyes every 10-15 seconds or they will find their way in.
2013-01-31 06:14:19 PM  
4 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: Gasoline gets rid of crabs
/So my uncle thought


You have to do it right.

First, shave off half your public hair- the crabs will all go hide in the other half.  Then douse the other half in gasoline and set it on fire.  Then when the crabs come running out to avoid the fire, you beat them to death with a hammer.

Not only is it effective, it's permanent- you will never be able to catch crabs again.
2013-01-31 03:09:10 PM  
4 votes:
When the eye doctor asks you which better, one or two, he's secretly disappointed that you can't figure out that the answer is always two.
2013-01-31 03:20:19 PM  
3 votes:
Yes?
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-01-31 03:10:24 PM  
3 votes:

Fano: All any lesbian needs to straighten her out is a good deep dicking.


This is true both for lesbians and for republicans.
2013-01-31 02:26:39 PM  
3 votes:
The following were surprisingly not on the list.

Dont worry its only a cold sore
The Check is in the mail
I wont come in your mouth
2013-01-31 02:13:50 PM  
3 votes:
The sex is better when you're married because it isn't just sex you are "making love"
2013-01-31 04:55:15 PM  
2 votes:
When i was in the 2nd grade a couple of my Puerto Rican classmates told me, "Don't eat paper! You'll wind up with a wooden stomach." I just thought they were just being stupid superstitious Puerto Ricans, so to spite them I kept on eating paper -- first little scraps, then entire sheets. Pretty soon I was ingesting whole newspapers. I once ate the entire Sunday edition in one sitting, in front of my horrified family. Then one day I started coughing up soggy splinters. I started craving Scott's Liquid Gold. My parents took me to a doctor, where x-rays revealed the stark truth: my stomach had turned into wood. Why, oh WHY didn't I listen to my classmates when I was seven?!? My diet now consists exclusively of 2 cans of Pledge a week, plus a shot of tung oil.

/csb
2013-01-31 04:51:44 PM  
2 votes:

peterthx: FirstNationalBastard: Other myths not listed:

You should get married
You should have children
Love is real.
You will find someone/there's someone out there for everyone
Happiness exists

Apple Computers don't get viruses


That's because Apple users are all virgins
2013-01-31 04:17:07 PM  
2 votes:
Also
You don't pull on Superman's cape
You don't spit in the wind
You don't tug on the mask of the old Lone Ranger..,
2013-01-31 03:50:27 PM  
2 votes:

JohnnyRebel88: I had what I refer to as "Deuce". That would be "mono" two times.


Are you sure that isn't Stereo?
2013-01-31 03:38:45 PM  
2 votes:

kmaywfec: What women really want is someone who makes them laugh.


make that "...without taking his clothes off" and you may be on to something.
2013-01-31 03:31:50 PM  
2 votes:
What women really want is someone who makes them laugh.
2013-01-31 03:28:45 PM  
2 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: Republicans are fiscal conservatives.

False:
Republican presidents when in power have caused the greatest increase in deficit financing and the economy performs the worst when a Republican is in office.


Partisan assholes who bring politics in to every thread are actually really great people.
2013-01-31 03:08:14 PM  
2 votes:
2013-01-31 01:50:58 PM  
2 votes:
Too bad they didn't have the courage to address the adage, "He who smelt it, dealt it."
2013-01-31 07:44:53 PM  
1 votes:
If you slide down a hill with your testicles exposed, they will become supercharged with static electricity and you'll have an incredible-- but potentially deadly-- orgasm.

The best way to become immune to bee stings is to drink four quarts of honey every day.

If you pluck the hairs on your toes with tweezers, you risk the pores becoming infected. Many people have died because of this innocent activity.

Ladies, think twice! Giving a blowjob while on your back with your head tilted backwards so it's upside-down in relation to the gentleman you're blowing can lead to bruised eyebrows and, in extreme cases, tonsillitis!

If you are scratched by a cat while on your period you run the risk of your heart exploding from "confused blood".

If you are suffering from amnesia, the best way to restore your memory is to take a blow to the head.

If you eat too much bread and follow it with too much water, it will all expand in your stomach and cause it to explode!

That tingly feeling you get that most people describe as your foot, hand, leg or arm "falling asleep" is actually billions of microscopic creatures rushing to your inactive extremity and burrowing in your muscles, in hopes of settling there to take command of your limbs. Moving around shakes them free and sends them back to different parts of your body, where they can't gang-up and take over.

If you roll yourself in flour before athletic events, you will not sweat and you'll feel perfectly cool all day long.

A protein shake made of 1/2 cup of 2% milk, 1 tablespoon of sugar, 1 tablespoon of your ground-up fingernail clippings, 1 teaspoon of your dandruff, and 1 pint of your own semen will cure the common cold.

Burglars can't come in unless you invite them, so be wary of their attempts to trick you!

A great way to shed extra pounds is to sleep on the toilet. Your brain will subconsciously think it's time to defecate all night while you sleep.
2013-01-31 07:01:20 PM  
1 votes:

Mr Guy: simplicimus: I know. But what if I now have 2 strains?

They fight to the finish, and the winner turns into herpes.


Thanks for clearing that up for me. I've them 4 times, once as a child and 3 times as an adult. Yes, I saw a doctor each time and it wasn't something else.

Doc says, just wait until my shingle show up. I am waiting because its an old house and we could stand a new roof.
2013-01-31 06:17:43 PM  
1 votes:

Honest Bender: You DO only get chicken pox once.  The misconception, if there is one, is that you ever get rid of it.  You don't.


I... hm.  This is right and sorta wrong all at once.

Chicken Pox is not the same as the virus.  Shingles is not the same as the virus.  Shingles is not the same as Chicken Pox.

But you *can* get Chicken Pox twice.  I did.
2013-01-31 04:39:17 PM  
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Other myths not listed:

You should get married
You should have children
Love is real.
You will find someone/there's someone out there for everyone
Happiness exists


Apple Computers don't get viruses
2013-01-31 04:18:40 PM  
1 votes:

NuttierThanEver: Also
You don't pull on Superman's cape
You don't spit in the wind
You don't tug on the mask of the old Lone Ranger..,


But what about Jim?
2013-01-31 04:13:32 PM  
1 votes:
Remember, you need at least 85,672 servings of vegetables every day to stay healthy.
2013-01-31 04:10:29 PM  
1 votes:

Uisce Beatha: DuudeStanky: verbal_jizm: cretinbob: Honest Bender: You DO only get chicken pox once.  The misconception, if there is one, is that you ever get rid of it.  You don't.

Shingles sucks.
I'm lucky. It's way down in my spine, so I get two little stripes across the top of my feet.Burns and itches l.like hell. I feel really bad for the people who get the big outbreaks across their backs.

//jesus I'm farking old

If it makes you feel any better, my wife got it at the age of 26. Stress related depression of her immune system.

Got mine when I was 11, also stress related. Doc said it was the youngest case he's seen. And mine was across the left side of my back with pain in the front, causing nerve damage in my chest.

I am glad to hear I am not the only one:  Chicken pox at age 6, again at age 8, then shingles across my back at age 13.  Ugh.  And most people I tell don't believe me.


You're lying
2013-01-31 04:07:41 PM  
1 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: Gasoline gets rid of crabs
/So my uncle thought


Does if you light it.
2013-01-31 03:56:03 PM  
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Other myths not listed:

You should get married
You should have children
Love is real.
You will find someone/there's someone out there for everyone
Happiness exists


Friendship is Magic?
2013-01-31 03:30:51 PM  
1 votes:
"If you pee in a dream, you pee the bed"
2013-01-31 03:29:39 PM  
1 votes:
Hmm. I have to admit that the concussion one was something I always believed. I had a doctor tell me this one after getting cross checked into the boards playing hockey as a kid. I should have remembered that doctors can also be full of crap.
2013-01-31 03:28:19 PM  
1 votes:
Pocket Ninja: If you swallow a seed, it can attach itself to your stomach lining and whatever plant it is might begin to grow inside you. If the plant is large enough, this can cause death or extreme infection.

If you miss even a trace of feces when wiping after a bowel movement, parasites attracted to the smell might crawl into your anus at night and hatch their eggs there.

Your brain can only handle a certain amount of spinning before it shuts down and you die. This number is different for every person. Keep this in mind next time you feel tempted by a merry-go-round

Every human being is only granted 6000 orgasms in their life. Use them wisely. Remember that a sneeze is basically a mouth orgasm, and they do count.

All women are 1 drink away from a passionate lesbian encounter.

If you fall asleep in a closed room where a fan is running, you will die from suffocation.

Most hand sanitizers contain extremely high concentrations of alcohol and can actually be lethally toxic to young children and the elderly.

Air fresheners will slowly, over time, erode your olfactory nerves and can cause nasal cancer. Plug-in air fresheners accelerate this effect.

If you sneeze and fart at the same time, your digestive tract will explode inside you.

Sometimes, if you shift your eyes quickly, you may see spots swirling across your vision. These are brain-eating bacteria trying to burrow into your skull. Remember to move your eyes every 10-15 seconds or they will find their way in.

please, please PLEASE tell me that you teach a seminar or class somewhere.  the world needs more teachers like you.
2013-01-31 03:28:06 PM  
1 votes:

FirstNationalBastard: Other myths not listed:

You should get married
You should have children
Love is real.
You will find someone/there's someone out there for everyone
Happiness exists


You sound bitter.

/There are other fish in the sea
2013-01-31 03:26:00 PM  
1 votes:
Eventually we should see a version of Pocket Ninja's post in our email with "FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:" in the subject line.
2013-01-31 03:24:25 PM  
1 votes:

NuttierThanEver: The sex is better when you're married because it isn't just sex you are "making love"


Depends on who with.
2013-01-31 03:20:30 PM  
1 votes:
It says that it is OK to sleep after a concussion - and I think that is true as long a concussion is the only issue.  But I always thought they wanted to keep the injured person awake until they were cleared by a doctor in order to watch for signs of something worse (like if the impact that caused the concussion also caused internal bleeding in the brain leading to a stroke).   If someone is awake after a head injury and starts to slur words, can't raise one of their arms, can't smile etc - then it is clear they have to get treatment immediately.   If they are sleeping, no one may ever see the signs.
2013-01-31 03:14:48 PM  
1 votes:
static1.businessinsider.com
One way to get chicken pox more than once...
2013-01-31 03:14:27 PM  
1 votes:

simplicimus: I know. But what if I now have 2 strains?


They fight to the finish, and the winner turns into herpes.
2013-01-31 03:08:53 PM  
1 votes:
The hydration one is weak at best.  6 to 8 glasses of water is a guideline, but you need a ton more water than that.  The only "myth" part is that people forget that the water that's trapped in baked goods, sugary drinks, caffeinated drinks, as well as fruits and vegetables count the same as any other water intake, and that your need for water varies greatly depending on how fast you're keeping your metabolism running on and whether or not you're running a calorie deficit.  It takes a lot more water than people think to comfortably keep your metabolism running fast on a calorie deficit.
2013-01-31 03:02:32 PM  
1 votes:

Pocket Ninja: If you swallow a seed, it can attach itself to your stomach lining and whatever plant it is might begin to grow inside you. If the plant is large enough, this can cause death or extreme infection.

If you miss even a trace of feces when wiping after a bowel movement, parasites attracted to the smell might crawl into your anus at night and hatch their eggs there.

Your brain can only handle a certain amount of spinning before it shuts down and you die. This number is different for every person. Keep this in mind next time you feel tempted by a merry-go-round

Every human being is only granted 6000 orgasms in their life. Use them wisely. Remember that a sneeze is basically a mouth orgasm, and they do count.

All women are 1 drink away from a passionate lesbian encounter.

If you fall asleep in a closed room where a fan is running, you will die from suffocation.

Most hand sanitizers contain extremely high concentrations of alcohol and can actually be lethally toxic to young children and the elderly.

Air fresheners will slowly, over time, erode your olfactory nerves and can cause nasal cancer. Plug-in air fresheners accelerate this effect.

If you sneeze and fart at the same time, your digestive tract will explode inside you.

Sometimes, if you shift your eyes quickly, you may see spots swirling across your vision. These are brain-eating bacteria trying to burrow into your skull. Remember to move your eyes every 10-15 seconds or they will find their way in.




They aren't? NOOOOOOOOOo
2013-01-31 02:40:26 PM  
1 votes:
You can't get herpes from a toilet seat.
2013-01-31 01:51:30 PM  
1 votes:

Honest Bender: You DO only get chicken pox once.  The misconception, if there is one, is that you ever get rid of it.  You don't.


Shingles sucks.
I'm lucky. It's way down in my spine, so I get two little stripes across the top of my feet.Burns and itches l.like hell. I feel really bad for the people who get the big outbreaks across their backs.

//jesus I'm farking old
 
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