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(Listverse)   Man drowns when no one notices him at the bottom of the pool . . . at a party for 100 lifeguards celebrating no drownings that year   (listverse.com) divider line 62
    More: Ironic, bachelor party, cognitive robotics, Vladimir Likhonos, Kawasaki  
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11637 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2013 at 10:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-31 07:40:31 AM
Fine use of ironic tag
 
2013-01-31 09:20:27 AM

TexasPeace: Fine use of ironic tag


Don't ya think?
 
2013-01-31 09:27:41 AM
For the bachelor party, the groom-to-be's friends ordered a special surprise: a cake with a stripper inside. As cliché as that is, things took a decidedly bad turn when the stripper failed to emerge from the cake on cue. Naturally, the men assumed she had gotten out of the baked dessert at some point and so went ahead with opening it in order to check. It was their turn to be surprised, however, when they discovered the lifeless body of their hired dancer still nestled patiently inside the cake. Apparently, she had suffocated after waiting over an hour in the sealed wooden confection.

Well that sucks.  It's no fun if the stripper comes pre-killed.
 
2013-01-31 11:00:13 AM

TexasPeace: Fine use of ironic tag

 Best use I've seen.
 
2013-01-31 11:01:17 AM
Figured this would be a Uno Cinco Party.
 
2013-01-31 11:01:25 AM
In their defense, they were all off-duty at the time.
 
2013-01-31 11:01:55 AM
Now THAT is ironic, unlike rain on your wedding day...
 
2013-01-31 11:02:00 AM
It's not ironic because all the guards were off duty and probably drunk so I would fully expect someone to drown under these conditions.
 
2013-01-31 11:02:13 AM
Was his name Bob ?
 
2013-01-31 11:02:23 AM
Phil Collins reference in 3....2.....
 
2013-01-31 11:02:51 AM

vodka: It's not ironic because all the guards were off duty and probably drunk so I would fully expect someone to drown under these conditions.


and it continues...
 
2013-01-31 11:04:00 AM
Fate: Don't tempt it.
 
2013-01-31 11:04:41 AM
when he received a cock-inflicted wound to his right calf
 
2013-01-31 11:05:01 AM
Not only were they lifeguards, they were all balding drummers who used to be in cool bands.
 
2013-01-31 11:05:30 AM
100 Lifeguards drinking around a pool
100 Lifeguards drinking around a pool
Let one guest down
Let him drown
99 Lifeguards drinking around a pool
 
2013-01-31 11:05:37 AM

mafiageek1980: Phil Collins reference in 3....2.....


Liftoff!
 
2013-01-31 11:08:09 AM

Nothing To See Here: Was his name Bob ?


*snicker*
 
2013-01-31 11:10:29 AM

Nothing To See Here


Was his name Bob ?


Yes, but the situation gave him a sinking feeling.
 
2013-01-31 11:11:12 AM
This had a ring of urban myth, but sure enough - I found the original article from the Weekly World News (which is even more reliable than the internet).

According to that article the guy had a 2.5 (Yes, I klnow, but that's what the article says).

 http://books.google.com/books?id=3u8DAAAAMBAJ&pg=PT2&lpg=PT2&dq=jer ome +moody+drowning&source=bl&ots=r3PHeTDpRc&sig=imqeNjN4ZIkCEXKim16vwOfkk OY&hl=en&sa=X&ei=LZYKUf_xGuGliQLEyIGgDA&sqi=2&ved=0CEUQ6AEwBA
 
2013-01-31 11:11:52 AM
"In 1985"

Got any "news" from this millennium?
 
2013-01-31 11:13:06 AM

Diogenes: For the bachelor party, the groom-to-be's friends ordered a special surprise: a cake with a stripper inside. As cliché as that is, things took a decidedly bad turn when the stripper failed to emerge from the cake on cue. Naturally, the men assumed she had gotten out of the baked dessert at some point and so went ahead with opening it in order to check. It was their turn to be surprised, however, when they discovered the lifeless body of their hired dancer still nestled patiently inside the cake. Apparently, she had suffocated after waiting over an hour in the sealed wooden confection.

Well that sucks.  It's no fun if the stripper comes pre-killed.



Gilligan killed the skipper....the stripper!

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-31 11:14:03 AM

jdemartino: "In 1985"

Got any "news" from this millennium?


They just found him, his nickname was Dwayne.
 
2013-01-31 11:15:40 AM
Kinda like a big, fatal explosion on your oil rig, resulting in an oil spill, during a party celebrating safety.
 
2013-01-31 11:16:13 AM
I'd hit six of those seven.    He got a real pretty mouth ain't he? (obscure?)

listverse.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
 
2013-01-31 11:19:39 AM

Englebert Slaptyback: Nothing To See Here

Was his name Bob ?


Yes, but the situation gave him a sinking feeling.


Actually, I think it was Stone Phillips.
 
2013-01-31 11:21:22 AM

Glancing Blow: I'd hit six of those seven.    He got a real pretty mouth ain't he? (obscure?)

[listverse.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 600x362]


Obscure? Maybe if you're, like, twelve.
 
2013-01-31 11:22:12 AM
Smell that? That's irony.  Nice use of tag, subby.,
 
2013-01-31 11:23:23 AM
I used to party with the lifeguards at my old job all the time, and I have to say this does not surprise me in the least.  Those boys party hard.
 
2013-01-31 11:28:22 AM
Those stories upset me a bit. What a depressing read. I'm not quite clear on what went on in the Hawaii story, though.
 
2013-01-31 11:31:35 AM
Mike the Durable had a better story
 
2013-01-31 11:34:09 AM

show me: Glancing Blow: I'd hit six of those seven.    He got a real pretty mouth ain't he? (obscure?)

[listverse.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 600x362]

Obscure? Maybe if you're, like, twelve.


Are we having a bad day?  I hadn't thought Deliverance was a top 100 movie on Netflix.  But just go ahead, get it out of you, I'll be your substitute object for your aggression.
 
2013-01-31 11:36:22 AM
Gene was found out the shallow end of the pool.
 
2013-01-31 11:40:17 AM
Journalism/writing has now been reduced to reducing wiki articles to Top 10 lists and adding pictures.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-31 11:41:46 AM

jdemartino: "In 1985"
Got any "news" from this millennium?


I read the same link on Reddit earlier this morning but it wasn't presented as news at least.
 
2013-01-31 11:44:25 AM

Diogenes: For the bachelor party, the groom-to-be's friends ordered a special surprise: a cake with a stripper inside. As cliché as that is, things took a decidedly bad turn when the stripper failed to emerge from the cake on cue. Naturally, the men assumed she had gotten out of the baked dessert at some point and so went ahead with opening it in order to check. It was their turn to be surprised, however, when they discovered the lifeless body of their hired dancer still nestled patiently inside the cake. Apparently, she had suffocated after waiting over an hour in the sealed wooden confection.

Well that sucks.  It's no fun if the stripper comes pre-killed.


Is it difficult to get out of a cake?
 
2013-01-31 11:46:54 AM
Ha, I work with a guy with one of those names.
 
2013-01-31 11:49:53 AM

Diogenes: For the bachelor party, the groom-to-be's friends ordered a special surprise: a cake with a stripper inside. As cliché as that is, things took a decidedly bad turn when the stripper failed to emerge from the cake on cue. Naturally, the men assumed she had gotten out of the baked dessert at some point and so went ahead with opening it in order to check. It was their turn to be surprised, however, when they discovered the lifeless body of their hired dancer still nestled patiently inside the cake. Apparently, she had suffocated after waiting over an hour in the sealed wooden confection.

Well that sucks.  It's no fun if the stripper comes pre-killed.


But she's a lot more cooperative.
 
2013-01-31 11:49:54 AM

Happy Hours: This had a ring of urban myth, but sure enough - I found the original article from the Weekly World News (which is even more reliable than the internet).

According to that article the guy had a 2.5 (Yes, I klnow, but that's what the article says).

 http://books.google.com/books?id=3u8DAAAAMBAJ&pg=PT2&lpg=PT2&dq=jer ome +moody+drowning&source=bl&ots=r3PHeTDpRc&sig=imqeNjN4ZIkCEXKim16vwOfkk OY&hl=en&sa=X&ei=LZYKUf_xGuGliQLEyIGgDA&sqi=2&ved=0CEUQ6AEwBA


Here's a NYT article that cites the AP.
 
2013-01-31 11:54:53 AM

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Journalism/writing has now been reduced to reducing wiki articles to Top 10 lists and adding pictures. news articles to funny headlines

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths

[img.photobucket.com image 302x409]

 
2013-01-31 11:57:07 AM

vodka: It's not ironic because all the guards were off duty and probably drunk so I would fully expect someone to drown under these conditions.


"Ironic" is not a synonym for "unexpected".
 
2013-01-31 12:12:17 PM
Mike the Durable would be an awesome TF handle.
 
2013-01-31 12:17:51 PM
Unusual events are no longer Ironic, they're Random.
 
2013-01-31 12:18:01 PM
4: The Byford Dolphin

This rapid decompression killed all but one of the divers, but one in particular gets the most interest for the manner in which this event affected him: he exploded. The gases in his body instantly expanded, causing the ejection of all of his thoracic and abdominal organs, including even his thoracic spine, and the shedding of all of his limbs. Nearly simultaneously, his remains were sucked through the opening of the door which was only 24 inches (60.96 cm) in diameter. It sounds like a hellish way to go out, but the consolation here is that it was too fast to be anything but painless.

WANT!!  Great special effects and painless too.

My other cool method involves going off in a lonely field away from any populated place to wrap dynamite around myself. BOOM! Instant coyote food, already disassembled and even partly cooked.

Sadly it's hard to get either means, so if I have to do it myself I'll probably just hang myself like an ordinary derelict.
 
2013-01-31 12:18:28 PM
Mike: lover the Russian Queen?
 
2013-01-31 12:18:45 PM
Lifeguards: we can explain1
Investigator: .....
Lifeguards: yeah...we got nothing..
 
2013-01-31 12:23:53 PM

revman64: Now THAT is ironic, unlike rain on your wedding day...


I still maintain that rain on your wedding day IS, in fact, ironic, because in the middle of the bad luck of having a horrible rainy wedding day everyone keeps telling you how lucky it actually is. Irony.
 
2013-01-31 12:36:00 PM
LewDux: GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve:Journalism/writing has now been reduced to reducing  wiki articles to Top 10 lists and adding pictures. news articles to funny headlines

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths


static.neatoshop.com

Unless you meant twitter. I come here for the articles.

//and read Penthouse Forum for the letters
///say "moist mound" to your girlfriend
 
2013-01-31 12:37:19 PM

The One True TheDavid: 4: The Byford Dolphin

This rapid decompression killed all but one of the divers, but one in particular gets the most interest for the manner in which this event affected him: he exploded. The gases in his body instantly expanded, causing the ejection of all of his thoracic and abdominal organs, including even his thoracic spine, and the shedding of all of his limbs. Nearly simultaneously, his remains were sucked through the opening of the door which was only 24 inches (60.96 cm) in diameter. It sounds like a hellish way to go out, but the consolation here is that it was too fast to be anything but painless.

WANT!!  Great special effects and painless too.

My other cool method involves going off in a lonely field away from any populated place to wrap dynamite around myself. BOOM! Instant coyote food, already disassembled and even partly cooked.

Sadly it's hard to get either means, so if I have to do it myself I'll probably just hang myself like an ordinary derelict.


Have you tried Acme?
 
2013-01-31 12:38:52 PM

Bungles: when he received a cock-inflicted wound to his right calf


What the hell happened to the wrong calf?
 
2013-01-31 12:59:06 PM

Nothing To See Here: Was his name Bob ?


He was at the bottom of the pool, so no.
 
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