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(Yahoo)   Abusing your girlfriend is vile and disgusting and isn't even a joke. Abusing your boyfriend? There's an app for that, but it's cute so it's ok   (games.yahoo.com) divider line 321
    More: Stupid, mobile apps, Kid 'n Play, boyfriends  
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20491 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2013 at 4:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-31 02:04:01 PM

the_vegetarian_cannibal: Perhaps the reason why you think there is a double standard where only female-on-male violence is tolerated in pop culture is because things like this app are pretty rare while the above mentioned things are so omnipresent in our culture that you barely even notice it anymore and just accept it as the default normal. Or perhaps you're just letting let your own personal bias distort your perception.


Or perhaps you're obviously, spectacularly, illogically wrong.

Why would people perceive a double standard if they can't see one of the standards?
 
2013-01-31 02:14:01 PM

BarkingUnicorn: The same way civilization steps into a case of homicide even though the victim won't cooperate.


I'm pretty sure the victim of a homicide has no choice but to cooperate with the authorities! I've never heard of a corpse refusing to be autopsied or dusted for prints, anyway...
 
2013-01-31 02:18:55 PM

Theaetetus: BarkingUnicorn: Video games may not cause violence IRL.  But an obsession with violent games is indicative of a taste for violence.  If  you agree, then violent video games  should NOT be restricted; they're a useful diagnostic and forensic tool.

So, you're suggesting that we need some sort of registry of violent video game players? Maybe with some sort of system for notifying authorities of usage?


No, you are.
 
2013-01-31 02:22:53 PM
Currently in the process of divorcing my wife after an emotionally abusive relationship.  Go ahead and call me a pussy, I've been emasculated for a very long time.

It's kind of telling when most people respond to you saying you're getting a divorce with "Good for you" and "I can't believe you held out so long."
 
2013-01-31 02:29:17 PM

I sound fat: g4lt: super_grass: This isn't real violence, and volume against men by women isn't a real issue.

Get over you victim complexes.

Annnd we're back to the Stone age.  Throw in the towel, civilization, it's over.

I'm going to try to say this without being condescending or insensitive.  It will be hard.

Tip:  If your woman is abusing you, LEAVE.  You don't have to fight back (lord god, dont do that, you will go to jail) or care if she loves you back or not.  You are a MAN, you most likely have the ability to get a minimum wage job and a studio apartment.   If not, sleeping behind the dumpster is a whole lot easier on men then women, and preferable to being afraid of your girl.   I dont get this at ALL.


Except that a huge part of abusive relationships is brainwashing. It's the same reason women don't leave relationships where men abuse them; the abusive partner, not always intentionally, brainwashes them into believing they deserve it, or it's not that bad. And it definitely doesn't help that society's decided men just cannot POSSIBLY be victimized so they must be faking it.

Abuse victims often can't leave. Sometimes there's a financial or other reason, but sometimes it's just because they're psychologically trapped. It's the same for female-on-male abuse as it is for male-on-female. Trying to be 'tough love' on abuse victims is like trying to make two solid objects occupy the same space and time--it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what you're trying to accomplish.
 
2013-01-31 02:30:24 PM

RobSeace: BarkingUnicorn: The same way civilization steps into a case of homicide even though the victim won't cooperate.

I'm pretty sure the victim of a homicide has no choice but to cooperate with the authorities! I've never heard of a corpse refusing to be autopsied or dusted for prints, anyway...


Exactly.  You never hear of a homicide victim refusing to press charges, produce evidence or testify, or of a perp getting off for such reasons.
 
2013-01-31 02:33:03 PM

ko_kyi: onyxruby: I was afraid to walk away after hearing horror story upon horror story about how sexist the family court is and how hard it is for a man to get custody of kids in the real world. The result is that a /lot/ of men stay in abusive relationships because they are afraid of losing their kids to the divorce courts. By staying with her as long as I did I protected the kids from her wraith by and took most of her of her abuse instead of them taking it. As far as I am concerned my manhood is very much still intact.

Exactly this, and it is a common story.


4ts had a long marriage to an ex that had a bad temper.  My attitude was, she could hurl all the verbal abuse and plates she wanted because I was a rock, nothing could hurt me.  And I had a sharp tongue too.  I never complained to people because I didn't want to look weak.  It was getting me down, but I just couldn't admit it.  Yes I wanted to stay to protect the kids from her.  And when I smacked dat a** in the bedroom (her favorite) I felt like the balance was restored.

About halfway through she got arrested after she made a 911 call and I told the cops the truth about what had happened.  She made me pay for that but I stayed.

The last time went down a little different.  Another 911 call by her after a blowup where she was the aggressor, 4ts fled and did not hit.  4ts did not tell the cops what really happened because he was late and needed her to take the kids, so didn't want her hauled away like before.  But he got hauled away instead, as she had lied to the cops.  Fortunately for him he was able to lawyer up and have the charges dismissed without any plea, but like a dumbass he continued to play the chivalrous gent and refused to accuse her, suffering reputational damage as people concluded from his silence that he was the abuser, and eventually getting raped in the divorce.

Not bitter tho'!  OK maybe a little bitter
 
2013-01-31 02:33:37 PM

WhippingBoy: Felgraf, I sincerely appreciated what you did for me in that other thread; I was, and am, absolutely sincere, and am attempting to accomplish more than just "being a dick". I'm sorry to have disappointed you; I tend to act without much thought sometimes when an idea pops into my head, and sometimes (most times), I'm not nearly as clever as I think I am (that I freely admit).


Okay, fair enough. Sorry if what I said sounded condescending, then. I can understand, I suppose, being snarky like that given the beating you took in the other thread. I also admit it's only my opinion that I think it isn't the best way to go about it, but I suppose I'm also overly charitable at times (And lord knows, I get snarky and sarcastic and post stuff like that sometimes too.)
 
2013-01-31 02:35:05 PM

CapeFearCadaver: onyxruby: In the state I live in there isn't a single domestic abuse shelter that allows men to stay.

Y'all should do something about changing that. My State's shelters are for anyone who has been abused or raped and needs to get out. Men, women, children... anyone.

While I was there about a quarter of them were male.


On a completely different note, didn't you say (in other threads) that you're Czech and you live in North Carolina?  There's a place in Cary called Klara's Restaurant.

http://www.klarasrestaurant.com/
 
2013-01-31 02:35:35 PM

Spindle: Currently in the process of divorcing my wife after an emotionally abusive relationship.  Go ahead and call me a pussy, I've been emasculated for a very long time.

It's kind of telling when most people respond to you saying you're getting a divorce with "Good for you" and "I can't believe you held out so long."


Good for you!  That's helpful, I hope.

"I can't believe you held out for so long" might be blame.  If it seems so to you, ignore it. Or it could be help ineptly phrased.
 
2013-01-31 02:40:00 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Flakeloaf: ajt167: I was under the impression that violent video games don't influence people and lead them to believe violence is okay. What am I missing?

Came here to say this. You can't argue that something is harmless and howl about how it threatens a group that includes you in the same breath.

Violence against men is a real thing that really exists and it is a problem. This problem is in no way related to pretend video game violence against an imaginary man any more than a "beat your wife" game creates or enhances actual violence against women. That said, subby is absolutely right that a Chris Brown simulator would bring out the torch and pitchfork brigade before it was even done compiling.

Video games may not cause violence IRL.  But an obsession with violent games is indicative of a taste for violence.  If  you agree, then violent video games  should NOT be restricted; they're a useful diagnostic and forensic tool.

Sex offenders should not be banned from social media, by the same logic.  Facebook makes them easier to monitor.  Given people's propensity to post shiat without consulting their inner censors, it may make treatment more effective.


Obsession with a thing is indicative of a taste for that thing? Hold on I gotta write that down.

How do you define obsession? I've sunk thousands of hours into counterstrike and WoW because I enjoyed those games and I was good at them. To date I have never armed myself or shoulder-checked the ledges above doorways before proceeding into rooms, and I only destroyed about eleven thousand radios and two hostages with my pocketknife but in all fairness to me they were kind of annoying. The difference between video game pixels on a screen and real life is pretty clear to me because I'm a sane, functional human, much like the tens of millions of gamers who've plowed millennia of productivity into video games while somehow managing not to invade, rape, murder or explode anybody. Some of us play a LOT. We aren't obsessed with anything but fun.

Violent video games are a convenient bogeyman for old luddites who don't like what they see on the playbox and must protect their children from what satan is clearly telling them to do with a single scene taken out of context. I'd bet a lot of these people also have a hard time telling their own fantasy from reality (not a shot at religion) and/or distinguishing depictions of a thing in entertainment with an exhortation to do that thing in real life. These are exactly the people whose access to such media should be restricted.

Short version, if you're so suggestible that a video game can encourage or reinforce your tendency to be annoying then you don't belong in society without medication or supervision.
 
2013-01-31 02:44:59 PM

Egoy3k: ciberido: Egoy3k: I don't need one. I'm not asserting that they are. The professor in the story was either being dishonest or had a personal history of having issues with females and heavy machinery. Talk to him not me.

So you and  MsIndy are the same person?   MsIndy is one of your alts?  Because nothing you say makes any damn sense otherwise.

I never claimed that women were bad at operating heavy machinery. The professor that denied her a job using heavy machinery based on her sex claimed that previous females in the position had done a poor job and that he prefers to have men in those roles.

She then claimed that if you replace woman with black or Turkish that the professor would have been appalled to hold such a position.

My response was that he wouldn't if every black or Turkish person he hired had done a bad job too.

I know reading is hard but Jesus that is not exactly a hard series of posts to understand.


Well, either you suck at communicating a simple point, or I suck at reading comprehension.  And clearly one of us is a defensive ass about it.  So enjoy that sense of superiority.
 
2013-01-31 02:45:43 PM
dilbert.com
 
2013-01-31 02:49:18 PM
Hopefully someone will make the rule 63 version to test the waters and get a complete assload of free publicity on the coat-tails of the press and this game.
 
2013-01-31 02:49:25 PM

BarkingUnicorn: RobSeace: BarkingUnicorn: The same way civilization steps into a case of homicide even though the victim won't cooperate.

I'm pretty sure the victim of a homicide has no choice but to cooperate with the authorities! I've never heard of a corpse refusing to be autopsied or dusted for prints, anyway...

Exactly.  You never hear of a homicide victim refusing to press charges, produce evidence or testify, or of a perp getting off for such reasons.


Pressing charges isn't required... And, the body itself (along with all trace evidence on/in it) serves as evidence...

What exactly are you suggesting? Cops should force people they suspect are being beaten by a spouse/SO to be examined against their will, so they can try to find evidence to charge the suspected abuser with? Just go ahead and trod on the victim's rights for their own good? We can do it with a corpse, because a corpse has no rights... Do you really want to start treating suspected abuse victims like corpses? What happens the first time the cops screw up, and find out the victim really did "fall down the stairs" as she claimed? I'm thinking major lawsuit!
 
2013-01-31 02:53:08 PM

JohnAnnArbor:


Making me read Dilbert is the real abuse here.
 
2013-01-31 02:55:41 PM

HotIgneous Intruder: It's the Apple way, so shut up and take it.


Apple let in that app because they thought it was metaphorical about how they abuse their customers but yet the customers just come back for more hyper expensive Apple poon-tang. I can just imagine the Director of Engineering wiping a tear away at the beauty of the metaphor.
 
2013-01-31 02:57:38 PM

JohnAnnArbor: [dilbert.com image 640x194]


Really, quoting Scott "women are like children or the mentally handicapped" Adams in this context?
 
2013-01-31 02:58:33 PM

Big Man On Campus: This app represents more double-standards from the feminist-dominated media/culture. It's amazing how humans are incapable of reacting to a perceived double standard by simply removing that double-standard. Tthey must always somehow swing the pendulum too far. Feminists had specific complaints, many of which were quite valid, all of which were thoroughly dealt with 20 years ago. Since then they've just decided to become a hate group to justify their existence.

If you don't believe me...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCUM_Manifesto


Why don't you link to the Protocols of the Elders of Zion while you're at it?
 
2013-01-31 03:03:09 PM

ciberido: On a completely different note, didn't you say (in other threads) that you're Czech and you live in North Carolina? There's a place in Cary called Klara's Restaurant.


OooooOOOoooooo! Nice, they just opened one on Hillsborough Street, too. Thanks for the link, I'll have to czech it out when I have the funds :)
 
2013-01-31 03:04:24 PM

ProfessorOhki: Hopefully someone will make the rule 63 version to test the waters and get a complete assload of free publicity on the coat-tails of the press and this game.


As long as the man is smaller and weaker looking than the woman.  A large man beating a small woman is not absurd, so it is not funny in the same way.
 
2013-01-31 03:05:48 PM

RobSeace: We can do it with a corpse, because a corpse has no rights


Dude, you cannot do it with a corpse. That is illegal and disgusting.

A corpse does indeed have the right for you not to be vile and disgusting like that to them.
 
2013-01-31 03:08:59 PM

RobSeace: What exactly are you suggesting? Cops should force people they suspect are being beaten by a spouse/SO to be examined against their will, so they can try to find evidence to charge the suspected abuser with? Just go ahead and trod on the victim's rights for their own good? We can do it with a corpse, because a corpse has no rights... Do you really want to start treating suspected abuse victims like corpses? What happens the first time the cops screw up, and find out the victim really did "fall down the stairs" as she claimed? I'm thinking major lawsuit!


The police can and will press charges themselves against an abuser if there are visible injuries/witnesses for the specific reason so that the abused doesn't have to. At that point, the victim cannot have charges dropped, even if they want to. They do however have to appear in court and swear to tell the truth. Meanwhile, the victim will also be set up with local shelters and the ADA prosecuting the case, with a bit of support and knowing they're safe they're most likely to at last be able to cut that cord.

Having someone such as the cops looking out for your own welfare by doing this is one hell of motivator.
 
2013-01-31 03:26:42 PM

CapeFearCadaver: The police can and will press charges themselves against an abuser if there are visible injuries/witnesses for the specific reason so that the abused doesn't have to.


Witnesses are one thing: there you have someone willing to present evidence, at least... But, if it's just the victim who refuses to do so, and insists on lying by saying the injuries were self-inflicted or accidental or whatever, I'm not sure how the cops can be expected to compel them into making their case for them... Yes, they should absolutely do everything they can to convince the suspected victim of willingly cooperating... But, if ultimately they refuse to cooperate, I fail to see how one can blame law enforcement or "civilization" as a whole for somehow failing to take down the suspected abuser anyway...
 
2013-01-31 03:28:41 PM

torusXL: RobSeace: We can do it with a corpse, because a corpse has no rights

Dude, you cannot do it with a corpse. That is illegal and disgusting.

A corpse does indeed have the right for you not to be vile and disgusting like that to them.


www.myteeprinting.com
 
2013-01-31 03:37:27 PM

Vegetative reproduction: ProfessorOhki: Hopefully someone will make the rule 63 version to test the waters and get a complete assload of free publicity on the coat-tails of the press and this game.

As long as the man is smaller and weaker looking than the woman.  A large man beating a small woman is not absurd, so it is not funny in the same way.


Make the man bigger: "Oh, it's a masculine power fantasy about victimizing a defenseless woman"
Make the woman bigger: "Oh, it's a masculine power fantasy about 'taking down' a strong, empowered woman."

Troll mode: give them the exact same base body models, but add reasonably-sized breasts to one of them.  All complaints can be reversed onto the one making the complaint by the fact any perceived difference in physical power is entirely due them projecting their own sexual stereotypes.
 
2013-01-31 04:05:45 PM

PsiChick: I sound fat: g4lt: super_grass: This isn't real violence, and volume against men by women isn't a real issue.

Get over you victim complexes.

Annnd we're back to the Stone age.  Throw in the towel, civilization, it's over.

I'm going to try to say this without being condescending or insensitive.  It will be hard.

Tip:  If your woman is abusing you, LEAVE.  You don't have to fight back (lord god, dont do that, you will go to jail) or care if she loves you back or not.  You are a MAN, you most likely have the ability to get a minimum wage job and a studio apartment.   If not, sleeping behind the dumpster is a whole lot easier on men then women, and preferable to being afraid of your girl.   I dont get this at ALL.

Except that a huge part of abusive relationships is brainwashing. It's the same reason women don't leave relationships where men abuse them; the abusive partner, not always intentionally, brainwashes them into believing they deserve it, or it's not that bad. And it definitely doesn't help that society's decided men just cannot POSSIBLY be victimized so they must be faking it.

Abuse victims often can't leave. Sometimes there's a financial or other reason, but sometimes it's just because they're psychologically trapped. It's the same for female-on-male abuse as it is for male-on-female. Trying to be 'tough love' on abuse victims is like trying to make two solid objects occupy the same space and time--it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what you're trying to accomplish.



There's this whole thing called gaslighting which, among other things, is used to mean basically brainwashing an abuse victim into believing she isn't really being abused.
 
2013-01-31 04:15:40 PM

PsiChick: Except that a huge part of abusive relationships is brainwashing. It's the same reason women don't leave relationships where men abuse them; the abusive partner, not always intentionally, brainwashes them into believing they deserve it, or it's not that bad. And it definitely doesn't help that society's decided men just cannot POSSIBLY be victimized so they must be faking it.

Abuse victims often can't leave. Sometimes there's a financial or other reason, but sometimes it's just because they're psychologically trapped. It's the same for female-on-male abuse as it is for male-on-female. Trying to be 'tough love' on abuse victims is like trying to make two solid objects occupy the same space and time--it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what you're trying to accomplish.


This, this and this.  I was only with her for five months (she moved in after three), but mind games and her owing me money are a big part of the reason I didn't kick her ass to the curb once her insanity became apparent.  When she calls you a bad boyfriend, you feel the need to prove her wrong, when the correct solution is to prove her right.  She holds all the cars, she makes all the rules, and she's got the goalposts mounted on a 4x4 and filled in with sheet metal.  There is no outcome where you can possibly be the winner.

"Why did you stay with them for so long?" is a question that doesn't have a simple answer.  Because I wanted to make it work, because I wanted to show I was a good person, because she owed me money, because there were times when we got along really well, because the sex was good, because I didn't have enough of a frame of reference to see what was really going on, because I'd never had a proper happy relationship to compare this to...

4tehsnowflakes: 4ts had a long marriage to an ex that had a bad temper. My attitude was, she could hurl all the verbal abuse and plates she wanted because I was a rock, nothing could hurt me. And I had a sharp tongue too. I never complained to people because I didn't want to look weak. It was getting me down, but I just couldn't admit it. Yes I wanted to stay to protect the kids from her. And when I smacked dat a** in the bedroom (her favorite) I felt like the balance was restored.


This as well.  I've always considered myself to be above petty emotional considerations.  It got to the point where I went and had a cry in the boss' office, then went an talked to the on-campus counsellor.  I've never reached out for help for any reason like that before.

Best part?  Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her.  Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.
 
2013-01-31 04:26:13 PM

Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.


Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?
 
2013-01-31 04:47:44 PM

tgambitg: Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.

Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?


Your ex-wife appears to be my current wife.
 
2013-01-31 04:52:05 PM

WhippingBoy: tgambitg: Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.

Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?

Your ex-wife appears to be my current wife.


Try to bring her and possibly yourself to a psychologist for testing and see if there are any diagnosis.

If you wait years and years before doing this, and if she does have issues due to her brain (which is an organ just like lungs or kidneys), then she's just as much a victim as you.

Now if she doesn't have any diagnosis then she just hates you annnd you should just leave.
 
2013-01-31 04:54:04 PM

ciberido: PsiChick: I sound fat:

I'm going to try to say this without being condescending or insensitive.  It will be hard.

Tip:  If your woman is abusing you, LEAVE.  You don't have to fight back (lord god, dont do that, you will go to jail) or care if she loves you back or not.  You are a MAN, you most likely have the ability to get a minimum wage job and a studio apartment.   If not, sleeping behind the dumpster is a whole lot easier on men then women, and preferable to being afraid of your girl.   I dont get this at ALL.

Except that a huge part of abusive relationships is brainwashing. It's the same reason women don't leave relationships where men abuse them; the abusive partner, not always intentionally, brainwashes them into believing they deserve it, or it's not that bad. And it definitely doesn't help that society's decided men just cannot POSSIBLY be victimized so they must be faking it.

Abuse victims often can't leave. Sometimes there's a financial or other reason, but sometimes it's just because they're psychologically trapped. It's the same for female-on-male abuse as it is for male-on-female. Trying to be 'tough love' on abuse victims is like trying to make two solid objects occupy the same space and time--it shows a fundamental misunderstanding of what you're trying to accomplish.


There's this whole thing called gaslighting which, among other things, is used to mean basically brainwashing an abuse victim into believing she isn't really being abused.


This post chain is popcorn gold. Starts off with a man being the victim of "his woman" (lol, possessive undertones) and three posts later the generic victim being discussed has become female.

If there's one thing Fark has, it's a wide cast of characters.
 
2013-01-31 05:09:27 PM
I can't see the link but I would encourage women to take out their aggression violently out on me. Sadly, women simply don't have it in them. They're more into screaming and drama which is zero fun for me.
 
2013-01-31 05:10:06 PM
i1172.photobucket.com

women commit more violence than men against their partners.


http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

 
2013-01-31 05:11:15 PM

torusXL: WhippingBoy: tgambitg: Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.

Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?

Your ex-wife appears to be my current wife.

Try to bring her and possibly yourself to a psychologist for testing and see if there are any diagnosis.

If you wait years and years before doing this, and if she does have issues due to her brain (which is an organ just like lungs or kidneys), then she's just as much a victim as you.

Now if she doesn't have any diagnosis then she just hates you annnd you should just leave.


She talked me into getting a psychiatric evaluation because she thought I needed therapy.  I got rid of her before the appointment came up, so I cancelled it (and the wench on the other end of the phone gave me attitude when I told her I didn't think I needed help).

My current girlfriend is absolutely amazing.  If I'd known what a real relationship was supposed to be like, I wouldn't have put up with the crap Psychobiatch (and Whineybiatch before her) dished out.  Sometimes I kinda long to be back with them, but only so I could tell them off properly and then sack up and dump their asses.
 
2013-01-31 05:22:51 PM

GF named my left testicle thundercles: [i1172.photobucket.com image 328x440]

women commit more nonreciprocal violence than men against their partners.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm


FTFY.

They don't give overall numbers for all violent relationships, just the one where the battered partner doesn't hit back.  The fact that women initiate the most nonreciprocal violence ties in with comments in this thread about men knowing that if they retaliate or even try to defend themselves, they're going to jail even though they're the victim.
 
2013-01-31 05:28:30 PM

dickfreckle: thamike: Subby wears a popped collar knock-off and has Bret Easton Ellis syndrome.

Am I the only guy on Fark who actually enjoys reading Ellis' work? I particularly dig his short story compilations.

He is a jerk, though. But so are some of my favorite musicians, actors, and artists.


Who said I didn't like to read his work?  I like Mamet's work too, but in order to enjoy either of them, I have to pretend that they're satirizing clueless sociopathic douchebags, not celebrating them.
 
2013-01-31 05:36:58 PM

Bondith: GF named my left testicle thundercles: [i1172.photobucket.com image 328x440]

women commit more nonreciprocal violence than men against their partners.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

FTFY.

They don't give overall numbers for all violent relationships, just the one where the battered partner doesn't hit back.  The fact that women initiate the most nonreciprocal violence ties in with comments in this thread about men knowing that if they retaliate or even try to defend themselves, they're going to jail even though they're the victim.


Well, that's because, the reciprocal violence is by definition distributed equally. It's not a chart of who initiates it, it's a chart of who commits it.

I get what you're saying though and it'd be interesting to see the numbers on who instigated the reciprocal instances. It's worth noting though that even if the reciprocal violence was initiated by men 100% of the time, it'd still 36% of violent IPV being started by women.
 
2013-01-31 05:37:28 PM

GF named my left testicle thundercles: [i1172.photobucket.com image 328x440]

women commit more violence than men against their partners.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm


thanks for those references
 
2013-01-31 05:41:22 PM

torusXL: WhippingBoy: tgambitg: Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.

Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?

Your ex-wife appears to be my current wife.

Try to bring her and possibly yourself to a psychologist for testing and see if there are any diagnosis.

If you wait years and years before doing this, and if she does have issues due to her brain (which is an organ just like lungs or kidneys), then she's just as much a victim as you.

Now if she doesn't have any diagnosis then she just hates you annnd you should just leave.


I've tried numerous times. Her parents have tried numerous times. Her sister has tried numerous times. She refuses to go because she's afraid of what a psychologist might say.
I'd love to leave, but it would destroy our children.
 
2013-01-31 05:44:12 PM

Spindle: Currently in the process of divorcing my wife after an emotionally abusive relationship.  Go ahead and call me a pussy, I've been emasculated for a very long time.

It's kind of telling when most people respond to you saying you're getting a divorce with "Good for you" and "I can't believe you held out so long."


For me it was when the cops had been called in yet again for the yelling, and one of these cops recognized me from a previous year and took me in the other room and asked me "what the hell are you still doing with her????"

It was after that I I told her that I would be leaving to moment I could get things figured out... (and have children services to look after the kids as I knew that there was no way I've manage to be the one that would keep them... at least for the time being).

Took me three months... three wonderful months of things going from terrible to terrible 3.

Funny story, after a few months, she had destroyed the apartment (the poor poor owners), and I was told that if there was anything I wanted, to go before they started to shovel the place clean.

I walked in, had a neighbor come at me, yelling, accusing, all the stuff that had been told to her by the ex.

I simply asked this neighbor... "what do you remember, the things you saw for yourself...?"  She apologized and felt crummy and left with her head down.
 
2013-01-31 05:47:10 PM

WhippingBoy: torusXL: WhippingBoy: tgambitg: Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.

Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?

Your ex-wife appears to be my current wife.

Try to bring her and possibly yourself to a psychologist for testing and see if there are any diagnosis.

If you wait years and years before doing this, and if she does have issues due to her brain (which is an organ just like lungs or kidneys), then she's just as much a victim as you.

Now if she doesn't have any diagnosis then she just hates you annnd you should just leave.

I've tried numerous times. Her parents have tried numerous times. Her sister has tried numerous times. She refuses to go because she's afraid of what a psychologist might say.
I'd love to leave, but it would destroy our children.


FFS, if there's 4 familial parties who all think she needs a psych eval, you might want to consider that she will destroy your children. I mean, yeah a kid will be sad if they don't get to see a parent anymore. Pretty sure it'd be of a lesser degree than 18 some odd years of living with someone who tends towards emotional abuse. Not to mention that proceedings might give the opportunity to force her to visit with a psychologist, which sounds like it'd be in her best interest as well.
 
2013-01-31 05:59:59 PM

ProfessorOhki: WhippingBoy: torusXL: WhippingBoy: tgambitg: Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.

Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?

Your ex-wife appears to be my current wife.

Try to bring her and possibly yourself to a psychologist for testing and see if there are any diagnosis.

If you wait years and years before doing this, and if she does have issues due to her brain (which is an organ just like lungs or kidneys), then she's just as much a victim as you.

Now if she doesn't have any diagnosis then she just hates you annnd you should just leave.

I've tried numerous times. Her parents have tried numerous times. Her sister has tried numerous times. She refuses to go because she's afraid of what a psychologist might say.
I'd love to leave, but it would destroy our children.

FFS, if there's 4 familial parties who all think she needs a psych eval, you might want to consider that she will destroy your children. I mean, yeah a kid will be sad if they don't get to see a parent anymore. Pretty sure it'd be of a lesser degree than 18 some odd years of living with someone who tends towards emotional abuse. Not to mention that proceedings might give the opportunity to force her to visit with a psychologist, which sounds like it'd be in her best interest as well.


I know. These things are easier said than done. Last time I "pushed" her, she threatened to leave and take our children with her. She's their primary caregiver, so I wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell to get custody.
 
2013-01-31 07:24:02 PM

torusXL: WhippingBoy: tgambitg: Bondith: Best part? Psychobiatch was mad because I didn't open up to her. Never mind the fact she bit my head off whenever I opened my mouth, then accused me of blaming her for everything while blaming me for everything.

Holy crap, when did you date my ex-wife?

Your ex-wife appears to be my current wife.

Try to bring her and possibly yourself to a psychologist for testing and see if there are any diagnosis.

If you wait years and years before doing this, and if she does have issues due to her brain (which is an organ just like lungs or kidneys), then she's just as much a victim as you.

Now if she doesn't have any diagnosis then she just hates you annnd you should just leave.


My ex-wife was diagnosed Paranoid-Schizophrenic with Violent Tendencies about a year after we got married. Which when it came time to renew, cost me a security clearance. Apparently being married to someone with diagnosed mental health issues is a big concern.
 
2013-01-31 07:24:53 PM

ciberido: Egoy3k: MsIndy: CSB time. I am at a university, and occasionally students are hired to work at a lab where heavy machinery is used. After complaining to one of the professors about the clear bias towards hiring males for the heavy machinery jobs and ignoring women's applications, I was told "They used to hire women, but they didn't work out. They tried, that's not good enough?" He found it perfectly acceptable that an entire class of people had been dismissed out of hand for what were either a few bad eggs or poor hiring decisions. Substitute "black", "Turkish", or any other minority and I'm sure he would find that appalling, but "women." Yeah, they just didn't work out. Nevermind that I'm actually certified to drive a forklift and I restore old cars for fun, I clearly don't deserve to be judged on my own merits.

It would be just fine if Black or Turkish people had a known history of being shiatty at operating heavy machinery and had caused a disproportionate number of accidents and or near misses. Since the are no real differences between races (race isn't even a real thing) and we happen to be a species with a fair degree of sexual dimorphism I would say that judging a person based on their sex is much more correct than judging someone based on their 'race'.

So you have some sort of study at hand which proves that women are worse than men at operating heavy machinery, do you?


I'm late getting back to the party...sorry. I have to say, having observed this particular environment for a few years now, the men don't do that great a job operating the machinery, either. To my original point, if competence driving/operating heavy machinery is needed, create a pre-employment test for THAT, not for the presence of a penis.
 
2013-01-31 07:27:48 PM

Egoy3k: ciberido: Egoy3k: MsIndy: CSB time. I am at a university, and occasionally students are hired to work at a lab where heavy machinery is used. After complaining to one of the professors about the clear bias towards hiring males for the heavy machinery jobs and ignoring women's applications, I was told "They used to hire women, but they didn't work out. They tried, that's not good enough?" He found it perfectly acceptable that an entire class of people had been dismissed out of hand for what were either a few bad eggs or poor hiring decisions. Substitute "black", "Turkish", or any other minority and I'm sure he would find that appalling, but "women." Yeah, they just didn't work out. Nevermind that I'm actually certified to drive a forklift and I restore old cars for fun, I clearly don't deserve to be judged on my own merits.

It would be just fine if Black or Turkish people had a known history of being shiatty at operating heavy machinery and had caused a disproportionate number of accidents and or near misses. Since the are no real differences between races (race isn't even a real thing) and we happen to be a species with a fair degree of sexual dimorphism I would say that judging a person based on their sex is much more correct than judging someone based on their 'race'.

So you have some sort of study at hand which proves that women are worse than men at operating heavy machinery, do you?

I don't need one. I'm not asserting that they are. The professor in the story was either being dishonest or had a personal history of having issues with females and heavy machinery. Talk to him not me.


The issue is that if "Bob" screws up while driving a forklift, he's an idiot. If a woman screws up while driving a forklift, all women are bad at driving a forklift. You really don't see the difference? Hint: the issue isn't women's capability for driving forklifts...
 
2013-01-31 07:28:56 PM

GF named my left testicle thundercles: [i1172.photobucket.com image 328x440]

women commit more violence than men against their partners.
http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm


I call BS. Most gender 'studies' are BS.
 
2013-01-31 08:05:29 PM

RobSeace: BarkingUnicorn: RobSeace: BarkingUnicorn: The same way civilization steps into a case of homicide even though the victim won't cooperate.

I'm pretty sure the victim of a homicide has no choice but to cooperate with the authorities! I've never heard of a corpse refusing to be autopsied or dusted for prints, anyway...

Exactly.  You never hear of a homicide victim refusing to press charges, produce evidence or testify, or of a perp getting off for such reasons.

Pressing charges isn't required... And, the body itself (along with all trace evidence on/in it) serves as evidence...

What exactly are you suggesting? Cops should force people they suspect are being beaten by a spouse/SO to be examined against their will, so they can try to find evidence to charge the suspected abuser with? Just go ahead and trod on the victim's rights for their own good? We can do it with a corpse, because a corpse has no rights... Do you really want to start treating suspected abuse victims like corpses?


I'm saying that even without the cooperation of corpses, homicides get prosecuted.  Abusers can get prosecuted even without the cooperation of living victims. That is all.

What happens the first time the cops screw up, and find out the victim really did "fall down the stairs" as she claimed? I'm thinking major lawsuit!

Same thing that happens when cops believe she fell down the stairs and a day later she's shot.  I believe it's called "qualified immunity."
 
2013-01-31 08:19:19 PM

Theaetetus: JohnAnnArbor: [dilbert.com image 640x194]

Really, quoting Scott "women are like children or the mentally handicapped" Adams in this context?


Your memory has faded in two years.   What he really said:

"The reality is that women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. It's just easier this way for everyone. You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles."

Disapprove of truth.  Fiction isn't worth the effort.
 
2013-01-31 08:21:20 PM

super_grass: This isn't real violence, and volume against men by women isn't a real issue.

Get over you victim complexes.


That's funny, because the larger studies done, that ask both genders the same unbiased questions, show symmetry in domestic violence.  In relationships where there is bi-directional violence, women hit first more often, and for the same reasons as men, i.e. to control or dominate, NOT out of self defense or fear.

It's only when you break out the "feminist math" that men seem to be the dominant aggressors.  This is done by erasing male victims.

Remember your feminism:  If one man calls one woman a biatch, it degrades all women, enforces gender roles, devalues all women, and keeps men in complete  control of society.  He needs to be shamed, sent to sensitivity training, and purged from civil society if he doesn't change.

If several different women go nuts and murder or castrate their husbands, it is something to be laughed about long and with relish, by women on popular TV shows watched by millions.

KNOW YOUR PLACE, MEN.  You are here to provide things for women, absorb the violence of society, and not much else.
 
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