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(Salon)   Mafia-like groups of men known as "modesty squads" use threats of violence to enforce religious customs in Tehran. I'm sorry, did I say "Tehran?" I meant Brooklyn   (salon.com) divider line 71
    More: Sick, Tehran, peer pressures, Orthodox Jewish, Jewish communities, Jewish Studies  
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19781 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2013 at 4:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-30 04:34:29 PM
12 votes:
media.salon.com

So you're telling other people how to dress?
2013-01-30 03:34:48 PM
11 votes:
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

We were annoying people in Brooklyn before it was cool.
2013-01-30 04:34:37 PM
9 votes:

FlashHarry: jesus christ!


Yeah the orthodox Jews weren't too nice to him, either.
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-01-30 03:53:55 PM
8 votes:
"Modesty Squad Member" and "Naughty Church school girl showing a little too much boob" sounds like a good roll play.
2013-01-30 03:10:13 PM
8 votes:
So you could say the Hasidic are base?
2013-01-30 04:39:27 PM
7 votes:
As an atheist maybe I should go around town telling women to wear less clothes, slut it up a bit.
2013-01-30 05:10:59 PM
6 votes:

GF named my left testicle thundercles: all the different flavors of sand people have one thing in common. they think they have the right to tell other people what to do.


media.salon.com

Huh, I thought Sandpeople always ride single file to hide their strength and numbers.
2013-01-30 04:58:25 PM
6 votes:

gja: Doink_Boink: As an atheist maybe I should go around town telling women to wear less clothes, slut it up a bit.

Is it OK if I am Christian, but still want to support your initiative?


Totally okay, maybe this is the way we can all come together as one. Our slogan could be something like, "God or No, please dress like a hoe!" or something like that
2013-01-30 04:39:55 PM
5 votes:
Tradition!

/Tradition!
2013-01-30 02:59:38 PM
5 votes:
"Ultra orthodox" seems to be a polite way of saying "asshole".
2013-01-30 05:51:13 PM
4 votes:

JesusJuice: We need to take a good long look at these people. Look at how they behave, their regressive attitudes towards sex and women, their support of Israel above their own country.

Look hard, and ask yourself, "Are these Americans?"


But enough about the GOP.
2013-01-30 04:49:02 PM
4 votes:
They should pass out patches to wear to all the immodest Jews they come across; so that others will know that they are not be treated equally. It's been done in the past with great effectiveness.
2013-01-30 04:37:08 PM
4 votes:

Vectron: So you're telling other people how to dress?


I love the hats. Does anyone know if there's a coffee table book somewhere called "Very Silly Hats of Brooklyn" or something similar?
2013-01-30 02:59:02 PM
4 votes:
Fark needs modesty squads.
2013-01-30 09:13:23 PM
3 votes:
A few years ago, I was at the public library in Upper Saddle River, New Jersey.   Upper Saddle River boarders Rockland County, New York.  The nearby town of Monsey, NY is majority Hasidim.      I needed to look up a book and was sitting at one of the library terminals that has net access.  A middle-aged Hasidic man sat at the terminal next to me.  He fidgeted around a bit, pointed at the computer monitor, and said to me, "You know how to use that?"   "You mean the internet?", I replied.   "Yes", he said.  Then he held up an envelope with a URL written on it and and asked me, "How do I find this?".   I showed him how to type the URL into the address bar.  When he hit send, it brought back a site on tantric sex positions.   I said to him, "Is this what you're looking for?"  He didn't answer.  I told him the library had a policy prohibiting viewing sex sites on their computers.  He said, "Oh, they are right about that."   When I got up to leave, he was still sitting there looking at the tantric sex positions.
2013-01-30 05:01:42 PM
3 votes:
Years ago, I was walking through Jerusalem's ultra-Orthodox neighborhood, Mea Shearim, with a bunch of other kids. We had been warned to dress modestly, especially the girls. Suddenly a Hasid ran up to me and, without speaking, handed me a folded piece of paper. The paper started off "DEAR PRECIOUS SISTER OF THE TORAH", and continued on to list a bunch of dress codes. Apparently the sleeves of my friend's dress didn't come all the way below her elbows.

The nasty slut.
2013-01-30 04:51:30 PM
3 votes:
Wait until they decide that God told them to settle in your apartment.
2013-01-30 04:49:24 PM
3 votes:

Kunks!: FTA: "They're considered crazy, but people don't want to confront them."

This is what it really comes down to, Jews in the community are afraid to say anything. For extremely religious people, being Orthodox is like a pissing contest. Nobody wants to be seen as less religious as the next guy, even when the next guy is batshiat insane.

And they just straight up don't care what anyone from outside the community has to say, if you're not Orthodox Jewish, you're barely above the dirt.

/I'm Jewish
//They REALLY don't like non-practicing Jews, either.


I get along with non-practicing Jews very well, even dated three non-religious Jewish women over the years. The Hasidics and Charedi seem to be the fundamentalists among the lot, proof that even Jews have their fanatics.

The Hasidics seem pretty funny in a couple of ways to me:

1) they have about a zillion rules for everything. They probably have a dozen rules for wiping one's butt after going poop. There's Rabbis that spend their entire lives debating exactly how many steps a person can take on the Sabbath. As if Jehovah really cares about this--they're just as silly as the Amish who argue whether or not zippers on clothing violate their silly book of rules.

2) all those clever devices and tricks they use to try and get around the Sabbath prohibition against work. There's a whole industry that makes special appliances that lets Hasidic Jews comply with the Sabbath laws in fact if not in spirit. There's even elevators in Israel that have a special Sabbath mode that lets people go up, but not down (going down means you're providing work to lift the counterweight). What gets me is the assumption that Jehovah isn't smart enough to see through all this legalistic nonsense.
2013-01-30 04:37:32 PM
3 votes:

Vectron: [media.salon.com image 620x412]

So you're telling other people how to dress?


Why are they wearing mushrooms on their heads?
2013-01-30 04:29:47 PM
3 votes:
The fact that they are threatened by a mannequin and its potential to arouse is disturbing on so many levels.
2013-01-30 03:20:59 PM
3 votes:

IgG4: It's not just communities blocking bike lanes, these guys are threatening and shaking people down.

http://jezebel.com/5980135/the-modesty-mafia-are-coming-for-your-man ne quins-and-ipads


The Brooklyn district attorney, Charles J. Hynes, who prosecuted the Weberman case, has now received allegations that members of a modesty committee forced their way into a home in the borough, confiscating an iPad and computer equipment deemed inappropriate for Orthodox children, officials say. Allegations have also surfaced that a modesty committee threatened to publicly shame a married man who was having an affair unless he paid the members money for what they described as therapy.

jesus christ!
2013-01-30 07:26:15 PM
2 votes:

irreverend mother: if only i lived close enough to put on a corset and slutty clothes and go annoy them a couple times a week.


It might be dangerous for you to go alone. Perhaps you should bring along some strong, healthy young men to escort you.
cdn.twospoke.com
2013-01-30 07:07:24 PM
2 votes:
www.robertsinclair.net
2013-01-30 05:17:05 PM
2 votes:
What do if they catch someone rolling on the Shabbos?
2013-01-30 05:09:46 PM
2 votes:
I live a few blocks from here. I like driving through the neighborhood on Saturday blasting Rammstein or Wagner with all of my windows open. they basically gab their kids and run in the opposite direction.
2013-01-30 05:04:23 PM
2 votes:
No one picked up on one yet: "We give out proclamations," Rabbi Yitzchok Glick, its executive director,

mutantreviewers.files.wordpress.com
Brothers who went in different directions?
2013-01-30 05:04:12 PM
2 votes:
Psycat:

2) all those clever devices and tricks they use to try and get around the Sabbath prohibition against work. There's a whole industry that makes special appliances that lets Hasidic Jews comply with the Sabbath laws in fact if not in spirit. There's even elevators in Israel that have a special Sabbath mode that lets people go up, but not down (going down means you're providing work to lift the counterweight). What gets me is the assumption that Jehovah isn't smart enough to see through all this legalistic nonsense.


So much this.

As if god's going to be like "Good job on the loopholes, guys!"
2013-01-30 04:53:52 PM
2 votes:
2013-01-30 04:47:47 PM
2 votes:

vernonFL: The Larch: Vectron: So you're telling other people how to dress?

I love the hats. Does anyone know if there's a coffee table book somewhere called "Very Silly Hats of Brooklyn" or something similar?

The hats are a status symbol, they are worn to mark how wealthy a person is. Those people are wealthy.


As I understand, they're worn because "The Rebbe" wore one (the leader of each sect is that sect's "Rebbe". They usually replace him with his top deputy when he dies, unless you're a crazy Messianic cult). That's how the various styles came to be - most times, you see a wide-brimmed fur hat (the kind in that photo), but there are sects that wear a taller, more cylindrical-shaped hat. There are also ultra-Orthodox people who don't wear hats at all - non-Hasidic types, mostly.

They are expensive as hell, though - one wonders how a family barely getting by with 1 job, 8 kids, welfare and community support can afford $1000 for a hat. In that sense, I suppose there is a "status" element there - if you're the only Shlomo on the block not wearing a streimel, the chapsen will come beat you with tsimmes-soaked shmattas.
2013-01-30 04:44:33 PM
2 votes:
Pete, Linc and Julie are on the case.
2013-01-30 04:42:58 PM
2 votes:
So somebody should get a group of young, attractive hipstery-type girls to wander around in groups in that neighborhood in skimpy outfits, carrying mace and/or personal tasers.

Actually, just forget the mace and tasers and send them to my house instead.
2013-01-30 04:35:12 PM
2 votes:
all the different flavors of sand people have one thing in common. they think they have the right to tell other people what to do.
2013-01-30 03:59:20 PM
2 votes:
Why can't they just hire women to touch these modesty guys?  Don't they turn into ash or something?
2013-01-31 02:54:10 AM
1 votes:

Mambo Bananapatch: Bucky Katt: The headline and all the comments other than mine are anti-Semitic.

Even yours is kind of anti-Semitic.


You're both anti-Semitic for saying that.
2013-01-31 01:27:02 AM
1 votes:

Bucky Katt: The headline and all the comments other than mine are anti-Semitic.


Even yours is kind of anti-Semitic.
2013-01-31 12:24:08 AM
1 votes:
The Brooklyn district attorney, Charles J. Hynes, who prosecuted the Weberman case, has now received allegations that members of a modesty committee forced their way into a home in the borough, confiscating an iPad and computer equipment deemed inappropriate for Orthodox children, officials say. Allegations have also surfaced that a modesty committee threatened to publicly shame a married man who was having an affair unless he paid the members money for what they described as therapy.

So they took away the stuff they bought at B&H Photo?
2013-01-31 12:13:51 AM
1 votes:
The headline and all the comments other than mine are anti-Semitic.
2013-01-30 10:33:06 PM
1 votes:
I just had a brilliant thought- Naked PETA protest!  Think about it PETA.  You know you love the press it would give you, and for once people might root for you.
2013-01-30 09:26:06 PM
1 votes:

theMagni: MaudlinMutantMollusk: So you could say the Hasidic are base?

I want you to know that I got your joke. I don't know if anyone else did.

/studied a lot of chemistry


I got it too. My reaction was fairly neutral. :/

;)
2013-01-30 08:25:31 PM
1 votes:

Allen. The end.: No, no, no. Plaster Master rules Bartertown!


ok, that's goddamned funny.
2013-01-30 08:21:18 PM
1 votes:
If these nuts wanted to make themselves useful they could go hang out at Walmarts and tell the hosebeasts that their matronly upper arms are nasty enough, but did they have to slap a tattoo on that wobbly-ass flesh?
2013-01-30 08:13:37 PM
1 votes:

LrdPhoenix: FlashHarry: LrdPhoenix: FlashHarry: MaudlinMutantMollusk: So you could say the Hasidic are base?

the base? as in "al qaeda?"

I'm pretty sure he's making an acid/base joke here.

dammit. that's funny, and i farking missed it.

*hangs head in shame*

apropos of nothing, i saw a construction truck today with the name "putzmeister" on it. in yiddish, woudlnt' that mean "penis master?"

It's a German concrete pump company "Plaster Master." In Yiddish it would be "penis master" though.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Putzmeister


No, no, no. Plaster Master rules Bartertown!
2013-01-30 07:32:18 PM
1 votes:
People allow others to just come into their business, threaten them and walk away?  I'm pretty sure I'd tell them about my particular set of skills, and that if they forget about causing my store harm and walk away, that will be the end of it.  But if anything happens to my store, I will find them.. and I will kill them.
2013-01-30 07:13:32 PM
1 votes:
What kind of sick, erotic, fantasies are these guys having that store window mannequins are giving them a chubby?

There is a all Catholic girls college where I used to live.During the weekends, if you wanted a real freak you'd try to find one of the girls that went there. Nothing is better then a girl who has been sexual repressed most of her life. So yea, special thanks to all the Christian families out there. Thanks for raising your daughter on the caste-path of your god. *thumbs up*
2013-01-30 06:47:30 PM
1 votes:
Anal for Athiests
Bondage for Buddists
Cunnilingus for Christians
Deep throat for Deists
Ejaculations for Evangelists
Fellatio for Flying Spaghetti Monster
Group sex for Galileans
Hand jobs for Hassidic jews
Intercourse for Islam
Jerking off for Jesuits
Kiddy diddling for Kabala
Lesbianism for Latter Day Saints
Mammaries for Mennonites
Necrophelia for Nilhilist
Orgies for Occultists
Pedophilia for Papists
Queefing for Quakers
Rape for Rastafarianism
Screwing for Satanists
Teabagging for Taoism
Urinism for Unitarianism
Veneral disease for the Vatican
Wanking for Wiccans
Xenophilia for Xylolaters
Yiffing for Yahweh
Zoophilia for Zoroastrianism
2013-01-30 06:16:46 PM
1 votes:

Ed Grubermann: Cleavage for Christ

Booty for Buddha

Mammaries for Mohammed

Keep it going! Let's not leave anyone out.

Anuses for Atheists!

Boners for Baptists!

Pudenda for Pagans!


YaYas for Yahweh!
2013-01-30 06:12:43 PM
1 votes:

Mister Pleco: They should pass out patches to wear to all the immodest Jews they come across; so that others will know that they are not be treated equally. It's been done in the past with great effectiveness.



A yellow star, perhaps???
2013-01-30 05:57:37 PM
1 votes:

JesusJuice: We need to take a good long look at these people. Look at how they behave, their regressive attitudes towards sex and women, their support of Israel above their own country.

Look hard, and ask yourself, "Are these Americans?"


Kid the Universe: Dr Dreidel: vernonFL: The Larch: Vectron: So you're telling other people how to dress?

I love the hats. Does anyone know if there's a coffee table book somewhere called "Very Silly Hats of Brooklyn" or something similar?

The hats are a status symbol, they are worn to mark how wealthy a person is. Those people are wealthy.

As I understand, they're worn because "The Rebbe" wore one (the leader of each sect is that sect's "Rebbe". They usually replace him with his top deputy when he dies, unless you're a crazy Messianic cult). That's how the various styles came to be - most times, you see a wide-brimmed fur hat (the kind in that photo), but there are sects that wear a taller, more cylindrical-shaped hat. There are also ultra-Orthodox people who don't wear hats at all - non-Hasidic types, mostly.

They are expensive as hell, though - one wonders how a family barely getting by with 1 job, 8 kids, welfare and community support can afford $1000 for a hat. In that sense, I suppose there is a "status" element there - if you're the only Shlomo on the block not wearing a streimel, the chapsen will come beat you with tsimmes-soaked shmattas.


They are ALL on food stamps and welfare. Used to live in the neighborhood and all the women with their litters in tow carried EBT cards. A truly nasty and xenophobic people, for sure


ANTI SEMITE!
2013-01-30 05:51:54 PM
1 votes:

LrdPhoenix: It's a German concrete pump company "Plaster Master." In Yiddish it would be "penis master" though.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Putzmeister


actually, i think that was the logo. so it's a master at "pumping slurry..." but not a penis!
2013-01-30 05:40:46 PM
1 votes:
FlashHarry:

apropos of nothing, i saw a construction truck today with the name "putzmeister" on it. in yiddish, woudlnt' that mean "penis master?"

I was always amused by the "Schwing" concrete pumps.
/ penis
2013-01-30 05:37:34 PM
1 votes:

atomicmask: is is the fruits of multiculturalism.


It sure am!
2013-01-30 05:36:54 PM
1 votes:
Isn't it time for one of those big flamboyant gay pride parades through the neighborhood?

Seriously, anytime it gets to this type of mafia-ish activity those orthodox freaks should be stabbed with a frozen rasher of bacon.
2013-01-30 05:30:55 PM
1 votes:
NO SLEEP TILL
2013-01-30 05:11:47 PM
1 votes:

meathome: FTA: "They're considered crazy, but people don't want to confront them."

There's your problem. When you let the crazy affect your lifestyle, they begin to think that it's their job, even their right to dictate/harass/etc.

There's a reason that this kind of stuff usually takes place within small communities. It's because society at large won't tolerate that stuff for long.

It's a sad state of affairs when in our quest to promote tolerance, we allow intolerance to flourish.


WE WILL NOT TOLERATE INTOLERANCE!
2013-01-30 05:10:50 PM
1 votes:
pl.auschwitz.org

"Say Rabbi, We put your welfare check in that train car......(SLAM!).... Have a nice trip, don't forget to write!
2013-01-30 05:07:25 PM
1 votes:

gja: vernonFL: The Larch: Vectron: So you're telling other people how to dress?

I love the hats. Does anyone know if there's a coffee table book somewhere called "Very Silly Hats of Brooklyn" or something similar?

The hats are a status symbol, they are worn to mark how wealthy a person is. Those people are wealthy.

That's really humorous. They look like clowns. And that gear must be AWESOME in 90+ degree high-humidity summers!

They must smell like feet wrapped in leathery burnt bacon.


Dude, I ran into a bunch of these guys in NYC. They wear three-piece black wool suits, long black wool overcoats and hats in the middle of summer. They do reek.
2013-01-30 05:02:42 PM
1 votes:

Doink_Boink: As an atheist maybe I should go around town telling women to wear less clothes, slut it up a bit.


Perhaps be called the immodesty squad?
2013-01-30 05:01:25 PM
1 votes:

victrin: I used to have a friend who lived there. If only they knew of all the gay sex we had. They'd plotz!


Is plotzing that thing where you accidentally get santorum on the new couch?
2013-01-30 05:00:34 PM
1 votes:

Communist_Manifesto: gja: Doink_Boink: As an atheist maybe I should go around town telling women to wear less clothes, slut it up a bit.

Is it OK if I am Christian, but still want to support your initiative?

Totally okay, maybe this is the way we can all come together as one. Our slogan could be something like, "God or No, please dress like a hoe!" or something like that


Cleavage for Christ
2013-01-30 04:54:00 PM
1 votes:

Vectron: [media.salon.com image 620x412]

So you're telling other people how to dress?


Maybe that's how they deliver pizzas...
2013-01-30 04:51:32 PM
1 votes:

ArcadianRefugee: Agent Smiths Laugh: Vectron: [media.salon.com image 620x412]

So you're telling other people how to dress?

Why are they wearing mushrooms on their heads?

Someone has watch one too many bad science fiction shows.


And too many good ones too. But I still wonder why the have mushrooms on their heads. Do they receive the god waves better that way?
2013-01-30 04:50:17 PM
1 votes:

Vectron: Orthodox leader Nechemya Weberman, 53, is currently on trial for allegedly abusing a young girl he counseled. Yesterday, four men were arrested and accused of using intimidation and bribery to get the girl to drop the charges.
Abraham Rubin is accused of offering a $500,000 bribe to the alleged victim, in hopes of getting her to drop the charges against an Orthodox community member who she says molested her for three years.........139 have been prosecuted for sex abuse since 2009

These people are sooo moral.


I work in real estate and was doing some neighborhood research for a developer a few years ago in a different Brooklyn neighborhood with a large Orthodox Jewish community.

When I asked people about problems the neighborhood was facing they all said the EXACT same thing....

You see, it seems that our "wholesome" Orthodox Jewish community had quite a problem with their men seeing prostitutes. The non-Orthodox locals were livid about it. One lady pointed out to me on one block all of the known prostitute homes -  it was like a 1/3 of the street. I was floored.
2013-01-30 04:47:56 PM
1 votes:
This being fark I half read that as molesty squads and re read it.
2013-01-30 04:43:48 PM
1 votes:

Vectron: [media.salon.com image 620x412]

So you're telling other people how to dress?


The hats are kitchky, but those squirrels are going to migrage to Central Park once spring hits. Then what do you have?
2013-01-30 04:40:47 PM
1 votes:
We need some hardcore fashion police to school these Hasidic nerds.
2013-01-30 04:38:59 PM
1 votes:

The Larch: Vectron: So you're telling other people how to dress?

I love the hats. Does anyone know if there's a coffee table book somewhere called "Very Silly Hats of Brooklyn" or something similar?


The hats are a status symbol, they are worn to mark how wealthy a person is. Those people are wealthy.
2013-01-30 04:35:00 PM
1 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: IgG4: It's not just communities blocking bike lanes, these guys are threatening and shaking people down.

http://jezebel.com/5980135/the-modesty-mafia-are-coming-for-your-man ne quins-and-ipads

They don't have addresses, eh? Looks like a job for Anonymous.

I'd like to see them try intimidating a female IDF.


No way. These guys wouldn't go NEAR someone as 'fallen' as that. They also get to stay out of the military for, you know...THOSE reasons.
2013-01-30 04:33:53 PM
1 votes:
It's a shame they do this in Muslim are, since Muslim chicks are actually pretty damn hot.

Jewish areas?

Meh.
2013-01-30 04:32:08 PM
1 votes:

Blues_X: "Ultra orthodox" seems to be a polite way of saying "asshole".


Problem is, it only deals with the god-types.

I had un ultra-orthodox clerk at Circle K this morning when I got my coffee. They should have to put a mezuzah on the door, the guy was THAT orthodox.
2013-01-30 03:18:50 PM
1 votes:

MaudlinMutantMollusk: So you could say the Hasidic are base?


the base? as in "al qaeda?"
2013-01-30 02:56:41 PM
1 votes:
they do the same thing in jerusalem, i believe.

/fark all religion
 
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