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(Buzzfeed)   Twenty-eight parents who have successfully trolled their children   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 87
    More: Amusing  
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26135 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2013 at 12:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-30 10:56:55 AM
Lots of win in there. Quite enjoy.
 
2013-01-30 11:21:30 AM
Ha! those were great thanks.
 
2013-01-30 11:26:07 AM
Twenty-eight parents who have successfully trolled their children created airtight cases for emancipation.
 
2013-01-30 12:14:06 PM
that was great. better than expected.
 
2013-01-30 12:15:36 PM
As bad as Buzzfeed usually is, they certainly managed to aggregate a lot of good content into that article.

Photobombing dads was the best.
 
2013-01-30 12:18:42 PM
Always fun when parents have a sense of humor.
 
2013-01-30 12:18:52 PM
I like the 'time to move out' one
 
2013-01-30 12:22:27 PM
Good find, subby. I expect to use some of those in the future, when Snarcoleptic Jr eventually comes into the picture.
 
2013-01-30 12:22:43 PM
Hilarious.
 
2013-01-30 12:23:26 PM
I didn't like the 'award' for cleaning up. Too much swearing is just crass. An intelligent person can make the point eloquently. Using epithets where they are not needed just makes the parent look classless.
 
2013-01-30 12:24:50 PM
Oh man, Headlamp Dad would've been my dad if he were still around.
 
2013-01-30 12:25:56 PM
Number 6 is precisely the faces my daughter (9) and son (3) would make if I forced them into something like that.

/laughing so hard, I'm crying
 
2013-01-30 12:28:35 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: I didn't like the 'award' for cleaning up. Too much swearing is just crass. An intelligent person can make the point eloquently. Using epithets where they are not needed just makes the parent look classless.


That was my favorite one.
 
2013-01-30 12:29:52 PM
Ah. Future yearbook blackmail picture release form. I will have to remember that. It would also work great for wedding photo slideshows set to crappy sentimental music.
 
2013-01-30 12:37:15 PM
To be fair I don't think the girl's name is really Tahra Dactyl. I think she did have parents that gave her the upbringing to troll newspaper photographers.
 
2013-01-30 12:37:58 PM
This is why I plan to homeschool my children -- so I can troll them every day. It'll help them learn to deal with the real world of the Internet.

"Remember, there is no such number as '5'. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, Nougateen, Gangreen, Bacteen..."
 
2013-01-30 12:40:38 PM
My father does indeed get out his head lamp to read the menu in dimly lit restaurants. When I was a teen I was embarrassed, but now I don't care.
 
2013-01-30 12:41:17 PM
I've got to try this.

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-01-30 12:42:31 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: I didn't like the 'award' for cleaning up. Too much swearing is just crass. An intelligent person can make the point eloquently. Using epithets where they are not needed just makes the parent look classless.


The above post is best read in the voice of Kelsey Grammer.

Or better :

http://192.20.225.36/tts/speech/500a307fbc3e603bdc125966eafd9d95.wav
 
2013-01-30 12:42:40 PM
They f**k you up, your Mum and Dad
They don't mean to, but they do

--Phillip Larken

Note: Tarrah Dactyl's brother, Tyrannosaurus Rex Dactyl goes by the name "Ty".

He has largely escaped the beatings that would normally be his due despite having a very short reach, through wrestling, martial arts and body building. He is, however, subject to fits of "Roid Rage". And his parents have learned not to pull that "saying the child's full, embarassing name" when they misbehave shiat.

It's "Ty". Always "Ty". Just "Ty".
 
2013-01-30 12:44:42 PM

The Irresponsible Captain


I've got to try this.


Those headlights actually are incredibly handy, but so far I haven't needed to use one in public.
 
2013-01-30 12:47:00 PM
Number 19 reminded me so much of my own family.
Smartasses, one and all.
 
2013-01-30 12:48:10 PM
I'm really feeling #3. My son is a freakin' slob. :/
 
2013-01-30 12:48:23 PM
Ah, just pictures. If there were videos I'm sure they would have included the parents who forced their kids to survive a zombie attack.
 
2013-01-30 12:50:09 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: The Irresponsible Captain

I've got to try this.

Those headlights actually are incredibly handy, but so far I haven't needed to use one in public.


I have a collection. It's just the thing for working under the car or being in an attic or basement. I'll have to get a nice one for going out. Maybe in a black anodized aluminum for formal occasions.
 
2013-01-30 12:50:41 PM
#5b.

oh lawd.

real_kibo: This is why I plan to homeschool my children -- so I can troll them every day. It'll help them learn to deal with the real world of the Internet.

"Remember, there is no such number as '5'. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, Nougateen, Gangreen, Bacteen..."


FIVE IS RIGHT OUT
 
2013-01-30 12:52:03 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: Englebert Slaptyback: The Irresponsible Captain

I've got to try this.

Those headlights actually are incredibly handy, but so far I haven't needed to use one in public.

I have a collection. It's just the thing for working under the car or being in an attic or basement. I'll have to get a nice one for going out. Maybe in a black anodized aluminum for formal occasions.


I prefer the ones that are mounted in eyeglass frames, with a light on each temple. It is much more cleanly integrated into the the product and it does not have strap to mess with your hair.
 
2013-01-30 12:52:11 PM
#11.

BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2013-01-30 12:56:31 PM
Some of those were really funny and reminded me of something my dad would do (like, the 'Beets' by Dre one). But, some of those seemed like the parents were just assholes (the one where the mom teased her son about possibly being gay).

Ah, the fine line between loving mockery and outright insult.
 
2013-01-30 12:56:39 PM
I have a pic of my son standing in the bathroom proudly pointing out the big turd in the toilet during potty training. Definitely has some blackmail value.
 
2013-01-30 12:58:11 PM
ww2.hdnux.com
 
2013-01-30 12:59:02 PM

wingnut396


I prefer the ones that are mounted in eyeglass frames, with a light on each temple. It is much more cleanly integrated into the the product and it does not have strap to mess with your hair.


Counterpoint: the glasses can slip out of position and are not useful if the work requires a lot of contortions. I also think the headlamps will provide more light without making me have a load-bearing schnozz.

And if I need a headlamp I'm probably in a situation where I don't care how my hair looks, unless it's an evening event sponsored by The Irresponsible Captain.  :-)
 
2013-01-30 01:03:59 PM
eh...I can't do another BuzzFeed link
 
2013-01-30 01:13:13 PM
I don't get #1. The fat oversized stocking that says "Rosie" doesn't indicate favoritism - it could just mean they've got a barefoot Rosie O'Donnell.
 
2013-01-30 01:14:25 PM
Easily the best one:
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-01-30 01:19:25 PM
Oh sure, that's how it starts.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-30 01:21:37 PM
LOL on most of those. And I don't have kids.

"Beets by Dre" - heh heh
 
2013-01-30 01:23:39 PM
The "we will get along" shirt brings back memories. My dad tied the wrists of my sister and I together for a day when we wouldn't stop fighting. He also made a necklace out of yarn and old toilet-paper tubes and made my little sister wear it all day because she kept forgetting to put a new roll on when she used it up. Summer vacation was always spent home with Dad and his character-building punishments, God help us.
 
2013-01-30 01:30:26 PM

Moonfisher: He also made a necklace out of yarn and old toilet-paper tubes and made my little sister wear it all day because she kept forgetting to put a new roll on when she used it up.


I. Am. Using. This.

I wonder how it works on husbands...
 
2013-01-30 01:31:40 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: wingnut396

I prefer the ones that are mounted in eyeglass frames, with a light on each temple. It is much more cleanly integrated into the the product and it does not have strap to mess with your hair.


Counterpoint: the glasses can slip out of position and are not useful if the work requires a lot of contortions. I also think the headlamps will provide more light without making me have a load-bearing schnozz.

And if I need a headlamp I'm probably in a situation where I don't care how my hair looks, unless it's an evening event sponsored by The Irresponsible Captain.  :-)


Obviously I was talking about my good eatin' and shoppin' lamps. Not my working lamps.
 
2013-01-30 01:33:15 PM

Moonfisher: The "we will get along" shirt brings back memories. My dad tied the wrists of my sister and I together for a day when we wouldn't stop fighting. He also made a necklace out of yarn and old toilet-paper tubes and made my little sister wear it all day because she kept forgetting to put a new roll on when she used it up. Summer vacation was always spent home with Dad and his character-building punishments, God help us.


LUXURY!

When I was growing up my dad would bind the heads of my brother and I together with packing tape if we so much as scowled at each other. And don't get me started about used up toilet paper rolls. If we forgot to put on a new roll, we were forced to use the cardboard roll itself to clean up for the next week. The same roll, all week. And we considered ourselves lucky!
 
2013-01-30 01:34:05 PM

wingnut396: The Irresponsible Captain: Englebert Slaptyback: The Irresponsible Captain

I've got to try this.

Those headlights actually are incredibly handy, but so far I haven't needed to use one in public.

I have a collection. It's just the thing for working under the car or being in an attic or basement. I'll have to get a nice one for going out. Maybe in a black anodized aluminum for formal occasions.

I prefer the ones that are mounted in eyeglass frames, with a light on each temple. It is much more cleanly integrated into the the product and it does not have strap to mess with your hair.


Friend of mine has a baseball-type cap with several lights on the brim.
Looks kinda weird, but is incredibly useful...especially when one is...um...older and needs more light to see little tiny writing and stuff....

/ I almost want one.
 
2013-01-30 01:38:40 PM

syzygy whizz: wingnut396: The Irresponsible Captain: Englebert Slaptyback: The Irresponsible Captain

I've got to try this.

Those headlights actually are incredibly handy, but so far I haven't needed to use one in public.

I have a collection. It's just the thing for working under the car or being in an attic or basement. I'll have to get a nice one for going out. Maybe in a black anodized aluminum for formal occasions.

I prefer the ones that are mounted in eyeglass frames, with a light on each temple. It is much more cleanly integrated into the the product and it does not have strap to mess with your hair.

Friend of mine has a baseball-type cap with several lights on the brim.
Looks kinda weird, but is incredibly useful...especially when one is...um...older and needs more light to see little tiny writing and stuff....

/ I almost want one.


I got my dad that for christmas this year. It also is made out of a polar fleece type stuff and has ear flaps. It's really warm and he uses it for grilling and shoveling the driveway. He would probably wear it in public if my mom would let him.
 
2013-01-30 01:38:44 PM

Moonfisher: The "we will get along" shirt brings back memories. My dad tied the wrists of my sister and I together for a day when we wouldn't stop fighting. He also made a necklace out of yarn and old toilet-paper tubes and made my little sister wear it all day because she kept forgetting to put a new roll on when she used it up. Summer vacation was always spent home with Dad and his character-building punishments, God help us.


I'll bet it worked, though. That's why parents resort to the crazy punishments that make unfortunate headlines, sometimes. Some kids are just born smart, and capable but lazy or stubborn as Hell, and you've got to draw a line and get their attention, even if that line is drawn in permanent ink on their wee wee to remind them to flush the @&$! Tooooiiiileeeeet!!!
 
2013-01-30 01:39:19 PM
Number 11 (sunglasses) works better than number 10 (cake) as moving out incentive.
 
2013-01-30 01:39:55 PM
That poor girl that pooped in the shower, if I were the dad I would have added 'tried to heel it down the drain, but it was too big' in that contract. But it was still funny nonetheless.
 
2013-01-30 01:41:30 PM
electronsexparty: Some of those were really funny and reminded me of something my dad would do (like, the 'Beets' by Dre one). But, some of those seemed like the parents were just assholes (the one where the mom teased her son about possibly being gay).

Ah, the fine line between loving mockery and outright insult.


Dad did this sort of thing to me once...I'd just acquired a .22 rifle and was learning to shoot it accurately.
Dad (who was VERY anti-gun for wimmen) asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Told him I could use .22 shells.
Sure enough, that's what I got. Twenty-two shells.
 
2013-01-30 01:45:26 PM
#14 is truly inspirational.
 
2013-01-30 01:49:40 PM

wingnut396


Obviously I was talking about my good eatin' and shoppin' lamps. Not my working lamps.


But of course! One must always dress for the occasion.
 
2013-01-30 01:51:24 PM
That made my day. Thanks, Subby!
 
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