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(Gawker)   Warning: if you call Oprah 'old' on Twitter, she will hunt you down. It's like a reverse-version of Moby Dick   (gawker.com) divider line 44
    More: Scary, Oprah Winfrey  
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5215 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 30 Jan 2013 at 9:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-30 09:03:53 AM
Oprah's down-to-earth persona has never really taken for me. She's white-trash with money, except that she's black.

There goes my Fark account. . . .
 
2013-01-30 09:04:50 AM
BLACK WHALE. HOLY GRAIL
 
2013-01-30 09:06:32 AM
Really.

She's pushing 60. The average age of Twitter users is 39. The average age of TV viewers is 50.
 
2013-01-30 09:12:58 AM
 
2013-01-30 09:13:32 AM
What a boner killer.
 
2013-01-30 09:15:28 AM
Don't you think Oprah looks tired?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-30 09:20:39 AM
She's pushing 60. The average age of Twitter users is 39. The average age of TV viewers is 50.

In World War 2 the average age of the combat soldier was 26. In Vietnam he was 19.
 
2013-01-30 09:21:38 AM
If only this were about someone who had been relevant in recent memory...
 
2013-01-30 09:23:35 AM
"Call me Liable."
 
2013-01-30 09:27:29 AM

Badgers: If only this were about someone who had been relevant in recent memory...


I'm pretty indifferent to Oprah, but this "what have you done for me lately" attitude I see increasing lately is highly irritating.  Does a person's body of work over their lifetime count for nothing?

"Hey, Jesus, thanks for saving all of humanity from sin in perpetuity and everything.  But are going to do something about this coffee stain on my shirt?  Seriously, what are you good for anymore?"
 
2013-01-30 09:33:04 AM
I actually want to try this now
 
2013-01-30 09:34:46 AM
www.businessblunder.com

You're welcome.
 
2013-01-30 09:39:05 AM

Diogenes: Badgers: If only this were about someone who had been relevant in recent memory...

I'm pretty indifferent to Oprah, but this "what have you done for me lately" attitude I see increasing lately is highly irritating.  Does a person's body of work over their lifetime count for nothing?

"Hey, Jesus, thanks for saving all of humanity from sin in perpetuity and everything.  But are going to do something about this coffee stain on my shirt?  Seriously, what are you good for anymore?"


The body of work you speak of is being an annoyance on television... also, Jesus, really?

/If only Oprah were imaginary too
 
2013-01-30 09:41:20 AM
"According to geologists, the Earth is roughly 4.5 billion years old. Some Bible enthusiasts feel the number is closer to 6,000 years. Splitting the difference, we'll assume that Earth is about 2,250,003,000 years old."

Good stuff!
 
2013-01-30 09:46:18 AM

Badgers: The body of work you speak of is being an annoyance on television... also, Jesus, really?

/If only Oprah were imaginary too


Sometimes I wonder why I bother.
 
2013-01-30 09:52:40 AM
Warning: if you call Oprah 'old' on Twitter, she will hunt you down. It's like a reverse-version of Moby Dick

Funny headline but I guess you've never actually read Moby Dick.
 
2013-01-30 09:53:31 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Don't you think Oprah looks tired?


What you did there, I see it...
 
2013-01-30 09:56:42 AM
"If you tweet to Oprah that she looks old, she may reply."


FTFY Subz
 
2013-01-30 09:57:03 AM
But we can still call her fat?
 
2013-01-30 09:58:05 AM

notmtwain: Warning: if you call Oprah 'old' on Twitter, she will hunt you down. It's like a reverse-version of Moby Dick

Funny headline but I guess you've never actually read Moby Dick.


Gayest classic novel this side of "Maurice". Draw your own conclusions.
 
2013-01-30 09:59:28 AM

Diogenes: Badgers: If only this were about someone who had been relevant in recent memory...

I'm pretty indifferent to Oprah, but this "what have you done for me lately" attitude I see increasing lately is highly irritating.  Does a person's body of work over their lifetime count for nothing?



She has a large body of work.  Very large.  Lots of TV shows.   So what?


"Hey, Jesus, thanks for saving all of humanity from sin in perpetuity and everything.  But are going to do something about this coffee stain on my shirt?  Seriously, what are you good for anymore?"

Jesus was not a dry cleaner moranYou expect other people to clean your mess?
 
2013-01-30 10:20:32 AM

ZAZ: She's pushing 60. The average age of Twitter users is 39. The average age of TV viewers is 50.

In World War 2 the average age of the combat soldier was 26. In Vietnam he was 19.


Na na na na nineteen. Nineteen.
 
2013-01-30 10:21:43 AM

tenpoundsofcheese: She has a large body of work. Very large.


AMIRITE?

// due to gravitational lensing, I'm having a hard time seeing what you did there
 
2013-01-30 10:53:05 AM
That wasn't Oprah... it was Minge and Gary.
 
2013-01-30 11:06:02 AM

Diogenes: Does a person's body of work over their lifetime count for nothing?


Depends:

Writing Catcher in the Rye? Counts
Convincing dumpy, mediocre housewives that they "deserve" more? Does not count
 
2013-01-30 11:14:51 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Don't you think Oprah looks tired?


Does that mean Oprah will go on to build a secret network to fight the Daleks?
 
2013-01-30 11:22:42 AM
Wow. A "19" reference. Nothing is obscure on FARK.
 
2013-01-30 12:52:07 PM
I didn't know Oprah was a Scientologist.
 
2013-01-30 12:58:58 PM
marXed
 
2013-01-30 01:13:28 PM
I like Oprah, but she *is* pretty old. 60 is old.
 
2013-01-30 01:13:33 PM

s2s2s2: "If you tweet to Oprah that she looks old, sheher PR firm may reply."


FTFY Subz


FI(more)FY
 
2013-01-30 01:24:17 PM

Titor's Time Machine: ZAZ: She's pushing 60. The average age of Twitter users is 39. The average age of TV viewers is 50.

In World War 2 the average age of the combat soldier was 26. In Vietnam he was 19.

Na na na na nineteen. Nineteen.

Now I have that song stuck in my head....

1985? Get off my lawn!
 
2013-01-30 01:32:03 PM

markfara: notmtwain: Warning: if you call Oprah 'old' on Twitter, she will hunt you down. It's like a reverse-version of Moby Dick

Funny headline but I guess you've never actually read Moby Dick.

Gayest classic novel this side of "Maurice". Draw your own conclusions.


I guess you've never read it either.
 
2013-01-30 01:40:22 PM
img14.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-30 01:41:01 PM

notmtwain: markfara: notmtwain: Warning: if you call Oprah 'old' on Twitter, she will hunt you down. It's like a reverse-version of Moby Dick

Funny headline but I guess you've never actually read Moby Dick.

Gayest classic novel this side of "Maurice". Draw your own conclusions.

I guess you've never read it either.


Yes, I have. It's the gayest classic novel this side of "Maurice".
 
2013-01-30 01:41:31 PM

notmtwain: Warning: if you call Oprah 'old' on Twitter, she will hunt you down. It's like a reverse-version of Moby Dick

Funny headline but I guess you've never actually read Moby Dick.


What he's talking about is a whale (Oprah) is chasing a person in this instance. So it works. If you're going to be pedantic, at least be correct.

/Hates Oprah more than anyone except Dr. Phil
 
2013-01-30 01:52:47 PM
"Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me, and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-labourers' hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally, as much as to say,-Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill humour or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness."
― Herman Melville, Moby-Dick


Link

Sounds pretty gay to me, as the narrator is Ishmael.
 
2013-01-30 01:56:38 PM

Mateorocks: [www.businessblunder.com image 484x272]

You're welcome.


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-30 02:48:53 PM
fattylane.files.wordpress.com

I'll never forgive her for inflicting Dr. Phil on us.
 
2013-01-30 03:18:15 PM

CigaretteSmokingMan: [fattylane.files.wordpress.com image 270x280]

I'll never forgive her for inflicting Dr. Phil on us.


Maybe if we give her back captain Solo she'll let us live.
 
2013-01-30 04:19:07 PM
Boy, she really kicked that ass to the curb.

I'm too terrified to go home and post "Oprah is as old as Hell and twice the company" on my Twitter wall or whatever they call your web page and see if she gets back to me with claws out on all four limbs and spitting like a cat with a mouth full of an inferior brand of cat food.

I would definitely NOT advise every Farker to do this
 
2013-01-30 04:28:12 PM
So replying to someone on Twitter is the equivalent of hunting them down?
 
2013-01-30 05:50:25 PM

Omnivorous: But we can still call her fat?


Yeah, just don't call her pudgy, portly or stout.
 
2013-01-30 08:27:26 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Don't you think Oprah looks tired?


And I'm done.
 
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