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(The Consumerist)   "Dear waiter, I'm a pastor so you don't get a tip. But hey, you're good with God, so that counts double"   (consumerist.com) divider line 44
    More: Fail, quality of service  
•       •       •

15562 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jan 2013 at 6:29 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-30 06:54:22 AM  
13 votes:
Give unto Little Caesar's what belongs to Little Caesar's.
2013-01-30 07:20:17 AM  
9 votes:
I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me, except waiters, because fark those guys, right? Verily their salaries ain't my problem, they should get better jobs.
Douchebag 23:40-41
2013-01-30 06:40:57 AM  
9 votes:
That is one thing I hate about child molesters. They are such bad tippers.
2013-01-30 06:37:50 AM  
6 votes:
content6.flixster.com

So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
2013-01-30 06:44:38 AM  
5 votes:
St. Peter: Let's see...it appears you're a non-tipper. Go to Hell!
2013-01-30 06:44:26 AM  
5 votes:

people: Neondistraction: Reminds me of when I worked as a waiter back when I was younger. Instead of a tip, one day one of the waitresses got one of those stupid things that looked like a folded up $100 bill, but in reality was a note that said something to the effect of "Disappointed? You won't be if you accept Jesus into your life". That led to one of the most impressive strings of profanity I've ever heard. Not tipping is kind of a dick move anyway, but that's taking it to a whole new level.

Aaaannnd. Holy crap, thats real
Friend received this "tip" from a group of uppity Christians. It was folded in half so it would seem legit. Bill was $105


Someone needs to make the FSM version of this and use it for when they go to weddings and the collection plate goes around.
2013-01-30 09:11:10 AM  
4 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-01-30 07:24:41 AM  
4 votes:
A Religion and Tipping thread.
Ooooooooooooh boy.
9thcivic.com
2013-01-30 06:37:24 AM  
4 votes:
You will receive total consciousness. which is nice
2013-01-30 06:37:02 AM  
4 votes:
Dear Pastor,
Why didn't your god tell you that me and two busboys jerked it into your boulebais?
2013-01-30 06:36:56 AM  
4 votes:
What? They're raping waiters and servers now?
2013-01-30 08:41:26 AM  
3 votes:
Dear pastor:

There's no money in the collection plate because you're going to heaven instead!

Hallelujah!
2013-01-30 08:10:39 AM  
3 votes:
"I give God 10% why do you get 18"

Because the waitstaff is real, and performed a tangible service?
2013-01-30 07:48:16 AM  
3 votes:
verybadfrog.com

Sorry. The waiter did make it in to the painting after all. My bad.
2013-01-30 07:45:10 AM  
3 votes:
Now you know how the waiter at the Last Supper felt. Worst: Christ was taking credit for the bread and wine. That was like two thirds of the meal down at Lenny's Bread, Winery and Haggis (which is where the last supper took place). Hey. Try to find a place on Easter that will seat 13 without a reservation.

Didn't even make it in to the painting either.
2013-01-30 06:35:18 AM  
3 votes:
Reminds me of when I worked as a waiter back when I was younger. Instead of a tip, one day one of the waitresses got one of those stupid things that looked like a folded up $100 bill, but in reality was a note that said something to the effect of "Disappointed? You won't be if you accept Jesus into your life". That led to one of the most impressive strings of profanity I've ever heard. Not tipping is kind of a dick move anyway, but that's taking it to a whole new level.
2013-01-30 09:02:11 AM  
2 votes:
"There won't be any tip this evening. We gave it all to Jesus."

"Well then, the next time you're in here, Jesus can wait on you."
2013-01-30 07:50:07 AM  
2 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
"You must sacrifice your tip for me! You will be rewarded in heaven!"


/I don't give any money to God, thus leaving me free to tip good wait staff
//What does God need with 10% of my money anyway? He's farking God. He can just magic up some Xfinity and burgers if he wants.
2013-01-30 07:37:37 AM  
2 votes:
He's saving his "tip" for his choirboys.
2013-01-30 01:05:57 PM  
1 votes:

Salt Lick Steady: God, I can't make it through all the comments debating whether the "total" amount included the 18% gratuity.

Really, people. Seriously.

$6.29 is 18% of what? There's your answer.


2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-01-30 11:15:09 AM  
1 votes:
CSB: I once got tipped a dollar on a table that stayed over an hour and a half. True, the kitchen totally farked up their order at one point (through no fault of my own) but we fixed it and comped their dessert and I provided the best service I could the entire time. It was a second job and the restaurant was failing so I didn't care much about losing the job. Upon discovering the $1 tip on the $65 meal I chased them out to the parking lot, said "Hey you forgot something!" put the dollar in the dude's hand and said, "If this is all you can afford to tip you obviously need the money more than me." And I went back inside. GOD, that was satisfying.
2013-01-30 09:25:50 AM  
1 votes:

IlGreven: If I knew that pastor, I would go into church services and put that "disappointed" bill in his collection plate, and scribble on it "Matthew 25:31-46".


But then you have assburger Pasture walking straight to his restaurant after church to demand he be fired. One thing I've learned is that assholes never learn, they only double down. That's why they really need nothing but derision and occasionally a lead bath.
2013-01-30 09:09:12 AM  
1 votes:
FTFA: "I Give God 10% Why do you Get 18″

Simple ... the waiter actually exists.
2013-01-30 08:32:07 AM  
1 votes:
What does god need with my 10%?
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
2013-01-30 08:26:50 AM  
1 votes:

FuryOfFirestorm: There should be a level of Hell reserved for people who leave those stupid religious tracts in lieu of a tip.


The world makes a whole lot more sense to me when I imagine that, given God was created in humans' image, Heaven is a place of, by and for these people.

When I say I'm going to Hell, I consider it the more desirable option.  No child molesters that recanted on their deathbeds, no hypocrites, no prudes.  I might find criminals and it could get uncomfortably warm, but I'll just tell myself I'm in Australia.
2013-01-30 08:16:41 AM  
1 votes:

gunga galunga


Yes?


Ah, there you are. Just taking attendance. Please carry on.

*ducks out through side door*
2013-01-30 08:15:25 AM  
1 votes:

dragonchild: Most recent tip I gave came out to 1690%.

/ going to hell


I used to tip based on the waitress' looks. My gf at the time would get pissed when it was over 15%.
2013-01-30 08:08:48 AM  
1 votes:

philotech: TFA states he ran up a $200 bill with a party of 8 or more... Why is the check for 34.00? I smell shenanigans...


No - what you smell is the pastor asking for a separate bill so he needn't spend any of his "hard-earned" money accidentally paying for a crumb of food eaten by one of the other 19 people at table.

As for all the religion-bashing - I've seen people walk the walk. My own view: Hate the player, not the game.
2013-01-30 08:08:27 AM  
1 votes:
"Pastard" is my new favorite word.
2013-01-30 08:07:26 AM  
1 votes:
If I were this waiter, I would go to FexEx/Kinkos and have a 3'x4' poster printed of this check alongside a brief explanation of what happened...perhaps a few hundred fliers too...and stand outside this guy's church this coming Sunday wearing said poster and passing out the fliers.
2013-01-30 08:07:01 AM  
1 votes:

Englebert Slaptyback: But hey, you're good with God, so that counts double


So he's got that going for him... which is nice.


gunga galunga


Yes?
2013-01-30 07:42:28 AM  
1 votes:

sexorcisst: That is one thing I hate about child molesters. They are such bad tippers.


Yeah.  But, you can always count on them to slow down when driving through school zones.
2013-01-30 07:39:20 AM  
1 votes:
Diner Thinks That Saying He's A Pastor Allows Him To Stiff Waiter On Tip

The Consumerist thinks that something posted on Reddit is 100% accurate and deserving of an article.

/I still clicked it.
//Get ready for The Consumerist's follow-up: "What Farkers Think About Out Pastor Not Tipping Article"
2013-01-30 07:03:57 AM  
1 votes:
As a former youth pastor, I'm trying really hard not to make a 'tip' joke.

/I always do 20%
//My first job ever was in food service, so I understand
2013-01-30 06:56:14 AM  
1 votes:
There is no excuse for being a cheap bastard. Hiding behind being a Pastor is as legitimate as saying i'm a pro ball player or a factory worker - it's all bullshiat. If you're trying to pull the "I'm a humble man of god without much cash in my pocket" then you shouldn't be dining out, dooshbag. I hate cheap people. Cheap clergy people, doubly so.

and who the fark thought that fake money would open someones heart to their god? WTF is wrong with people. some days i want to see it all burn, right to the ground.
2013-01-30 06:53:56 AM  
1 votes:
i108.photobucket.com
2013-01-30 06:50:46 AM  
1 votes:

Zaelath: Ok.. why? Is 5 tables of 4 less work?

Oh and "learn to type".


Yes. Coordinating and serving simultaneous meals, drinks and the fact that the turnover of that one table is going to be tied to how long that one table decides to be there (rather than the five tables eating at different paces and turning over quicker), which is usually a lot longer, all takes more work and means less revenue overall and completely ties up the server's time until they are done.
2013-01-30 06:48:00 AM  
1 votes:
The whole custom of tipping aside...

Just have God bring the "Pastor" his food next time.
2013-01-30 06:44:50 AM  
1 votes:
I don't pay my rent on prayers, asshole
2013-01-30 06:44:32 AM  
1 votes:
Thanks pastor but a wallet-full of jesus ain't gonna pay the bills. That's about as effective as praying for ... well, anything.
2013-01-30 06:43:40 AM  
1 votes:
Ok.. why? Is 5 tables of 4 less work?

Oh and "learn to type".
2013-01-30 06:40:10 AM  
1 votes:

Neondistraction: Reminds me of when I worked as a waiter back when I was younger. Instead of a tip, one day one of the waitresses got one of those stupid things that looked like a folded up $100 bill, but in reality was a note that said something to the effect of "Disappointed? You won't be if you accept Jesus into your life". That led to one of the most impressive strings of profanity I've ever heard. Not tipping is kind of a dick move anyway, but that's taking it to a whole new level.


Aaaannnd. Holy crap, thats real
Friend received this "tip" from a group of uppity Christians. It was folded in half so it would seem legit. Bill was $105
i.imgur.com
2013-01-30 06:37:30 AM  
1 votes:
Some of those religious types are the most tight-fisted assholes you'd ever "care" to meet - so yeah, I can see something like this happening. All kinds of people seem to think it's okay to pull bullshiat on waitstaff.

If this pastor has a name and a church address, I'll happily send him a few religious tips of my own.
2013-01-30 06:35:59 AM  
1 votes:

But hey, you're good with God, so that counts double


So he's got that going for him... which is nice.


gunga galunga
 
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