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(Boston Herald)   "His interests include 'Satan, drinking human blood, deflowering virgins' and the TV show 'Dexter'"   (bostonherald.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, Satans, Faneuil Hall, fitness instructor, Rockaway Beach, Boston Police, Bridgewater State Hospital, criminal harassment  
•       •       •

12772 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2013 at 9:21 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



92 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-01-29 09:10:11 PM  
i1079.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-29 09:16:39 PM  
bostonherald.com
collider.com
Or is it just me?
 
2013-01-29 09:24:34 PM  
Obligatory: what's his Fark handle?
 
2013-01-29 09:25:42 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Kinky."
 
2013-01-29 09:26:00 PM  
On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?
 
2013-01-29 09:27:11 PM  

"He falsely told the woman he was a New York City cop, authorities said. "


But he fooled her because like all NYC cops, he acted like an asshole.

 
2013-01-29 09:27:25 PM  
farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-29 09:27:44 PM  

fusillade762: Or is it just me?


I was thinking a young Edward Molina.
 
2013-01-29 09:28:22 PM  
I'm assuming the virgin he's most interested in deflowering is himself.
 
2013-01-29 09:28:34 PM  
About 1/2 through 1225 episodes of Dark Shadows.

/be aware
//be very aware
///ahooooooooooo
 
2013-01-29 09:28:41 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


I have alergies. I prefer them predeflowered.
 
2013-01-29 09:29:28 PM  
Punching Geraldo....
 
2013-01-29 09:29:28 PM  
Hey leave Dennis Miller alone
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

/Wanted to make that joke since the reading the headline, but since he looks like him it works out a little better
 
2013-01-29 09:29:40 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


Me. Virgins are boring. Too uptight, and don know what to do.
 
2013-01-29 09:30:09 PM  
Satan? That's so...trite.

"Look, I'm a rebel, I worship the other evil god of my pantheon! Oohhh, scary!"

/derision not applicable if he turns out to be LaVeyan or something
 
2013-01-29 09:31:02 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


People that have actually slept with virgins?
 
2013-01-29 09:31:12 PM  
I'm sure he's harmless.
 
2013-01-29 09:32:41 PM  
bostonherald.com

blogs.miaminewtimes.com
 
2013-01-29 09:33:08 PM  

Inhalien: I'm sure he's harmless.


Unless he plays the newest CoD, then he is a danger to our great society.
 
2013-01-29 09:33:20 PM  
deflowering virgins' what?

Don't make us get Bob the Angry Flower in here.
 
2013-01-29 09:33:21 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


Nah, I'd rather have someone who knew what they were doing.

Anyhow, odds are this guy is off his meds and trying to show the whole entire world that he's really truly evil. "Seriously, guys! I'm soooo evil that I troll women on dating sites! I mean, that's evil, right?"
 
2013-01-29 09:33:27 PM  
Did it have to be Dexter?


"His interests include 'Satan, drinking human blood, deflowering virgins' and ...

Antiques Roadshow

Inside the Actors' Studio

Kim and Kourtney Take Miami (Satan's own personal favorite)
 
2013-01-29 09:34:44 PM  

fusillade762: Or is it just me?


I can see that. With a good dollop of Jake Gyllenhaal mixed in, though.
 
2013-01-29 09:34:47 PM  
Oh wait, that was a single-quote.

I guess I'm kicked out of the Grammar Nazi Party.

/I am schtupid; I'm no schmarty!
 
2013-01-29 09:35:26 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


Virgins are overrated. Give me a kinky slut any day.
 
2013-01-29 09:35:30 PM  

brap: AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?

People that have actually slept with virgins?


You guys are out of your minds. They don't know what to expect, so you can do whatever kinky thing you want to them. Just be sure to put the diaper back on before their parents come home.
 
2013-01-29 09:35:43 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


God father? Or am I messing up the movie?
 
2013-01-29 09:35:44 PM  
Off to Bridgewater State. Guy's not evil, he's schizoid. Still needs a lifetime of containment and observation.
 
2013-01-29 09:36:20 PM  

PhiloeBedoe: [i1079.photobucket.com image 500x313]


Also, he actually worships Stan. It was a typo.

robot6.comicbookresources.com
 
2013-01-29 09:37:00 PM  

SpdrJay: Obligatory: what's his Fark handle?


And that was my first thought, particularly with the "hey, I just met you/and this is crazy/here's a brass watch/call me or burn, lady"
 
2013-01-29 09:37:43 PM  
Dad?
 
2013-01-29 09:38:14 PM  
Is he actually wearing a button up wool coat with a Nehru collar? Panache-y!
 
2013-01-29 09:38:45 PM  


Boogey-Boogey.

Nobody dumps a disciple of the dark lord!



Honestly, a pussified attention whore satanist.
 
2013-01-29 09:38:51 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Deflowering Virginians?
 
2013-01-29 09:41:19 PM  
"His interests include 'Satan, drinking human blood, deflowering virgins' and the TV show 'Dexter'"

cdn.theatlantic.com

/tijuanabrass.mp3
 
2013-01-29 09:41:53 PM  
6.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-29 09:42:05 PM  

Hagbardr: AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?

Virgins are overrated. Give me a kinky slut any day.


Yeah, my last GF was a virgin (at 28, no less). Not sure I'd want to go through the breaking-in process again.
 
2013-01-29 09:42:23 PM  
bostonherald.comstatic.tvguide.com
Anyone? I mean, drinking blood and all, first thing I thought was 'He must be Jewish'.
 
2013-01-29 09:42:54 PM  
I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.
 
2013-01-29 09:44:03 PM  

24.media.tumblr.com

 
2013-01-29 09:44:11 PM  
i2.ytimg.com

"My spine is pierced, and I'm totally into Satan!"

/first thing I thought of.
 
2013-01-29 09:45:32 PM  

rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.


I poop spider webs.
 
2013-01-29 09:47:26 PM  

Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.


You should hook up with that "centipedes in my vagina" chick.
 
2013-01-29 09:48:05 PM  

Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.


I shiat bats.
 
2013-01-29 09:51:49 PM  

RatMaster999: Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.

I shiat bats.


I used to shiat bats before it was cool.
 
2013-01-29 09:53:52 PM  
"His interests include 'Satan, drinking human blood, deflowering virgins' and the TV show 'Dexter'" being 'shocking' for the sake of attention whoring.

Fixed.
 
2013-01-29 09:54:21 PM  

RatMaster999: [6.media.tumblr.com image 293x500]


This is quite humorous to me as it reminds me of my time working as security at a small country club. Some of the odious children would sign in like this on their way to swimming lessons or whatever. Satin rules!
 
2013-01-29 09:54:22 PM  
An alleged devil worshiper has been charged with harassing and threatening to kill a 25-year-old fitness instructor he met at Faneuil Hall

Farkin' tourist. Like Satan would ever hang out at Faneuil Hall. What's next, a visit to Cheers? Ohhhh, so dark.
 
2013-01-29 09:55:55 PM  

Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.


That's pretty good, but I'm going to need some stories of sexual abuse as well as cryptic references to important, protective relatives who would kill for you.

/I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.
 
2013-01-29 10:03:46 PM  

rogue_L_chick: Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.

That's pretty good, but I'm going to need some stories of sexual abuse as well as cryptic references to important, protective relatives who would kill for you.

/I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.


I would tell her that she's making people uncomfortable, and she needs to stop. Either that or start giving out HJs.
 
2013-01-29 10:05:12 PM  
Eh... He seems alright.
 
2013-01-29 10:12:49 PM  
roadsidejesus.com
 
2013-01-29 10:13:08 PM  

brap: AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?

People that have actually slept with virgins?


The mere fact that he speaks of "deflowering virgins" un-ironically is enough of a warning sign for me.
 
2013-01-29 10:14:30 PM  

LordOfThePings: PhiloeBedoe: [i1079.photobucket.com image 500x313]

Also, he actually worships Stan. It was a typo.

[robot6.comicbookresources.com image 414x580]


I think that's actually worse.
 
2013-01-29 10:15:49 PM  
And not "Glee"? WTF?
 
2013-01-29 10:16:43 PM  

rogue_L_chick: Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.

That's pretty good, but I'm going to need some stories of sexual abuse as well as cryptic references to important, protective relatives who would kill for you.

/I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.


Dramatic rape retellings are bad.

But not as bad as interpretive rape dance.
 
2013-01-29 10:19:27 PM  

tetsoushima: rogue_L_chick: Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.

That's pretty good, but I'm going to need some stories of sexual abuse as well as cryptic references to important, protective relatives who would kill for you.

/I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.

I would tell her that she's making people uncomfortable, and she needs to stop. Either that or start giving out HJs.


I'd tell her I'd be surprised if any Wiccans would actually acknowledge her as Wiccan. I know a LOT of people from all kinds of those "other" religions and have never met a single Wiccan that would act like that.   Not that they're all fluffy bunnies, but they're not usually total whack jobs, either.

/it's not like I know every Wiccan on the planet either though, so...
 
2013-01-29 10:23:04 PM  
I don't have the balls to admit I enjoy the same things.

//except the drinking blood thing (how does that taste? Anything like Sam Adams?)
 
2013-01-29 10:27:08 PM  

Real Women Drink Akvavit: tetsoushima: rogue_L_chick: Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.

That's pretty good, but I'm going to need some stories of sexual abuse as well as cryptic references to important, protective relatives who would kill for you.

/I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.

I would tell her that she's making people uncomfortable, and she needs to stop. Either that or start giving out HJs.

I'd tell her I'd be surprised if any Wiccans would actually acknowledge her as Wiccan. I know a LOT of people from all kinds of those "other" religions and have never met a single Wiccan that would act like that.   Not that they're all fluffy bunnies, but they're not usually total whack jobs, either.

/it's not like I know every Wiccan on the planet either though, so...


I knew plenty of whackjob Wiccan/Pagans while I was in the military. Granted most of them, male and females, were also attention whores and crazed otherwise.
 
2013-01-29 10:37:16 PM  
Judge should smack him in the face and tell him to grow the fark up.
 
2013-01-29 10:37:23 PM  

Slackfumasta: bostonherald.comstatic.tvguide.com
Anyone? I mean, drinking blood and all, first thing I thought was 'He must be Jewish'.


www.entertainmentwallpaper.com
 
2013-01-29 10:39:46 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


QFT. You can be terrible, and they don't know any better.
 
2013-01-29 10:42:03 PM  
If only we would take the simple measure of outlawing language, harassment would disappear virtually overnight. Or whatever.
 
2013-01-29 10:43:21 PM  

rogue_L_chick: /I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.


Call her on it. You'll find out quick how much is bullshiat. Details or GTFO. If she's legit, maybe it will start her on a better path to healing, if not, turn the taunting up to 11 every time she starts that song-and-dance.
 
2013-01-29 10:44:11 PM  

Fear the Clam: An alleged devil worshiper has been charged with harassing and threatening to kill a 25-year-old fitness instructor he met at Faneuil Hall

Farkin' tourist. Like Satan would ever hang out at Faneuil Hall. What's next, a visit to Cheers? Ohhhh, so dark.


Everyone knows Satan lives in Worcester
 
2013-01-29 10:49:12 PM  

rickycal78: Real Women Drink Akvavit: tetsoushima: rogue_L_chick: Joe Peanut: rogue_L_chick: I simply adore the people who feel they must constantly profess how "dark" they are, in order to be found interesting.

I poop spider webs.

That's pretty good, but I'm going to need some stories of sexual abuse as well as cryptic references to important, protective relatives who would kill for you.

/I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.

I would tell her that she's making people uncomfortable, and she needs to stop. Either that or start giving out HJs.

I'd tell her I'd be surprised if any Wiccans would actually acknowledge her as Wiccan. I know a LOT of people from all kinds of those "other" religions and have never met a single Wiccan that would act like that.   Not that they're all fluffy bunnies, but they're not usually total whack jobs, either.

/it's not like I know every Wiccan on the planet either though, so...

I knew plenty of whackjob Wiccan/Pagans while I was in the military. Granted most of them, male and females, were also attention whores and crazed otherwise.


They must run in packs or something. Not surprising, I suppose. Sharing a base faith doesn't mean sharing exact values, no matter what the base faith involved may be.
 
2013-01-29 11:03:13 PM  

fusillade762: [bostonherald.com image 350x290]
[collider.com image 244x327]
Or is it just me?


Nope. Dead ringer.
 
2013-01-29 11:09:53 PM  
In all fairness, 25 yr old fitness instructors can be an overly perky ball of psycho to behold. Perhaps this young fellow had to triple-troll her in order to stop her stalking. Outside of an episode of Law & Order have any of you met the likes of a guy like this? That shiat doesn't last past age 15. He'd be tired of getting beaten up by now.
 
2013-01-29 11:21:45 PM  
FTFA (and shame on Fark for missing it!):
She told police she became alarmed when he started playing with a knife and then gave her a bronze pocket watch as a gift.

Is there something about bronze pocket watches that's just a no-no with the ladies?
 
2013-01-29 11:46:24 PM  

Point02GPA: About 1/2 through 1225 episodes of Dark Shadows.

/be aware
//be very aware
///ahooooooooooo


Me too!
 
2013-01-30 12:01:28 AM  

Slackfumasta: [bostonherald.com image 350x290][static.tvguide.com image 210x305]
Anyone? I mean, drinking blood and all, first thing I thought was 'He must be Jewish'.


That was my second thought. If Goldberg and Favreau had a baby it would look like that.
 
2013-01-30 12:01:49 AM  
Satan: "BWAHAHAAHHAHA! Idiot! Go kiss the Pope's bum, you whoose!"
 
2013-01-30 12:08:14 AM  

Brainsick: rogue_L_chick: /I am dealing with a whopper of a speciman right now, in our LARP group - she corners every noob with dramatic rape retellings and invitations to join her Wiccan (yes, I know - NOT the the same as Satanism) group meetings. Egads, it's awful.

Call her on it. You'll find out quick how much is bullshiat. Details or GTFO. If she's legit, maybe it will start her on a better path to healing, if not, turn the taunting up to 11 every time she starts that song-and-dance.


Man, I wish. As I said, it's just my LARPing group - and while she is totally bringing it down, I don't want to set her off enough to start making it uncomfortable for me. I just try to warn new folks to steer clear of the purple-haired idiot and just have fun beating people up. I was ensnared into over an hour of that BS when I first started, now I tend to arrive and breeze right past her, always having someone else to speak with and not having the time to be her therapist, kthxbye. It works, until she overhears a conversation about making weapons or armor, then she always has to butt in and tell us all exactly how to do things. I'm having fun figuring things out, and she is one of those who knows everything about everything. It gets old.

So...it is tiresome, but hopefully, all will go well and we can split off into a new group soon. I have a new location scouted for spring, and she is going to hate it. It's out in the woods and right on the river. She loathes any chick that she thinks is better looking than her, so if we all start bringing our suits and swimming in between battles, she'll stop coming. I have known many like her, and they can be pretty easy to "offend" into the outcome you want.
 
2013-01-30 12:23:16 AM  

rogue_L_chick: So...it is tiresome, but hopefully, all will go well and we can split off into a new group soon. I have a new location scouted for spring, and she is going to hate it. It's out in the woods and right on the river. She loathes any chick that she thinks is better looking than her, so if we all start bringing our suits and swimming in between battles, she'll stop coming. I have known many like her, and they can be pretty easy to "offend" into the outcome you want.


Cagey. Admirable.
finaldestination7.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-30 12:25:49 AM  
Wow, another metal head, Satan worshiping pussies. Why is this labeled "scary?"
 
2013-01-30 12:28:25 AM  

Knucklepopper: FTFA (and shame on Fark for missing it!):
She told police she became alarmed when he started playing with a knife and then gave her a bronze pocket watch as a gift.

Is there something about bronze pocket watches that's just a no-no with the ladies?


Clearly he's been robbing graves. Nobody has access to bronze pocket watches anymore. Next thing you know, he'll be sipping absinthe from a human skull and quoting "Varney the Vampyre".
 
2013-01-30 12:33:17 AM  

NeuralSpike: Point02GPA: About 1/2 through 1225 episodes of Dark Shadows.

/be aware
//be very aware
///ahooooooooooo

Me too!


Do you drink blood and hold you arm so as to cover your face?
 
2013-01-30 12:47:58 AM  
I've been sayin' it for years, folks... Spell Corey with an "I" and you're a weirdo; spell it without the "E" and you're a chump.
 
2013-01-30 12:54:51 AM  

bathtub_gin: I've been sayin' it for years, folks... Spell Corey with an "I" and you're a weirdo; spell it without the "E" and you're a chump.


Coreyi
Coreye
WTF
 
2013-01-30 12:57:07 AM  

bathtub_gin: I've been sayin' it for years, folks... Spell Corey with an "I" and you're a weirdo; spell it without the "E" and you're a chump.


If you've been saying that for years, you're pretty goddamn odd...
 
2013-01-30 01:20:54 AM  

Gyrfalcon: bathtub_gin: I've been sayin' it for years, folks... Spell Corey with an "I" and you're a weirdo; spell it without the "E" and you're a chump.

If you've been saying that for years, you're pretty goddamn odd...


I wheezed laughing.
 
2013-01-30 01:30:31 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com

/Jesus loves marijuana
 
2013-01-30 02:33:29 AM  
I've got a whirling table:
 
2013-01-30 02:34:12 AM  
dyn-images.hsni.com
 
2013-01-30 04:50:52 AM  
Quantum Apostrophe:

First Die Antwoord reference I've seen on here. Faved.
 
2013-01-30 05:13:36 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: On a serious note, though, who doesn't like deflowering virgins?


You'll have to be more specific.
 
2013-01-30 05:55:31 AM  
What about drinkin, smokin weed, and all kinds of ill shiat?
 
2013-01-30 07:05:50 AM  

skullkrusher: Everyone knows Satan lives in Worcester


Damn straight. Satan puts the "wuss" in Wusstuh.
 
2013-01-30 09:21:53 AM  
Yes, I am an emissary of Satan, but the position is largely ceremonial.
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-30 09:51:46 AM  
orangecow.org

And, strangling animals, golf, and masturbating!
 
2013-01-30 11:40:15 AM  

RobSeace: [orangecow.org image 392x307]

And, strangling animals, golf, and masturbating!


///You let yourself down a bit on the hobbies, golf's not very popular around here.
 
2013-01-30 12:49:45 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
Approves.
 
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