Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ESPN)   Because nothing helps heal a torn triceps like deer antler spray   (espn.go.com ) divider line
    More: Weird, triceps, HGH, Sports Illustrated  
•       •       •

1480 clicks; posted to Sports » on 29 Jan 2013 at 7:18 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



114 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-29 07:18:20 PM  
Torn Tri-Delt is the name of my misogynistic and creepy frat party crap-rock cover band.
 
2013-01-29 07:24:18 PM  
While I don't want it to be true, I can't say it didn't cross my mind. AP is another one that struck me as recovering far too well, far too quickly.
 
2013-01-29 07:26:25 PM  
Maybe he just wanted his antlers to be shiny.
 
2013-01-29 07:29:36 PM  
As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.
 
2013-01-29 07:40:31 PM  

DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.


Murder allegations couldn't, but damnit sports are IMPORTANT
 
2013-01-29 07:40:58 PM  
Ever seen a deer with a torn tricep, sub-tard? I rest my case.
 
2013-01-29 07:42:38 PM  

neuroflare: DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.

Murder allegations couldn't, but damnit sports are IMPORTANT


Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.
 
2013-01-29 07:43:35 PM  
Hey remember when Ray Lewis brutally murdered those two guys in the streets, and then got rid of his suit, and then went turncoat on his friends to take the fall for him, and then paid off the victims, and then pretended to find Jesus, and then did that stupid dance that's pretty much just a ripoff of the one Deion used to do?

Ray Lewis is a biatch.
 
2013-01-29 07:43:57 PM  

INeedAName: While I don't want it to be true, I can't say it didn't cross my mind. AP is another one that struck me as recovering far too well, far too quickly.


Shh. Question nothing. The NFL is totes clean.
 
2013-01-29 07:46:07 PM  

DeWayne Mann: Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.


img.youtube.com

Harumph!

 
2013-01-29 07:47:07 PM  

DeWayne Mann: Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.


Rule 330549 - No murder.
 
2013-01-29 07:47:59 PM  

INeedAName: While I don't want it to be true, I can't say it didn't cross my mind. AP is another one that struck me as recovering far too well, far too quickly.


This. And if you think AP didn't get HGH to help recover his knee, you are pretty naive.

Then again, 99% (if not, 100%) of NFL players are juicing.
 
2013-01-29 07:48:02 PM  
All I know is that I found the white suit Ray wore that night and....hey what's Ray Lewis doing in my living room?
 
2013-01-29 07:48:56 PM  

robsul82: DeWayne Mann: Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.

Rule 330549 - No murder.


Whew. I didn't want it to get lost in the rules committee, along with "Proposed kickoff rule change #564" and "Here's another way you're not allowed to tackle a QB"
 
2013-01-29 07:49:03 PM  
IGF-1 is what we test for when looking for acromegaly. acromegaly is a disease of uncontrolled growth hormone secretion. that's what andre the giant had.
 
2013-01-29 07:49:09 PM  
I'd put more credence in it if the substance in this crap that is supposed to speed the healing process wasn't on the list of banned substances that they test for and he has never failed that test. I know, I know...Lance Armstrong. I just don't think it compares.

/Ravens fan
//realist
///got no problem calling out the local guys when they fark up
////Lookin' at you, Joe "it's retarded" Flacco
 
2013-01-29 07:49:51 PM  
Football fans don't care about PEDs because they don't care about the game. They only care about betting and time away from the wife.
 
2013-01-29 07:52:15 PM  
He's never lied to us before.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 
2013-01-29 07:53:01 PM  

DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.


I see what you did there.
 
2013-01-29 07:53:23 PM  

ChrisDe: He's never lied to us before.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


According to a quote I saw, he said he never "tested positive" for PEDs.

I sort-of buy that...
 
2013-01-29 07:53:30 PM  

bgddy24601: I'd put more credence in it if the substance in this crap that is supposed to speed the healing process wasn't on the list of banned substances that they test for and he has never failed that test. I know, I know...Lance Armstrong. I just don't think it compares.

/Ravens fan
//realist
///got no problem calling out the local guys when they fark up
////Lookin' at you, Joe "it's retarded" Flacco


Drug tests are a joke. Seriously. They are ridiculously easy to beat if you know how, and believe me, the doctor prescribing it certainly knows how
 
2013-01-29 07:55:06 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: Hey remember when Ray Lewis brutally murdered those two guys in the streets, and then got rid of his suit, and then went turncoat on his friends to take the fall for him, and then paid off the victims, and then pretended to find Jesus, and then did that stupid dance that's pretty much just a ripoff of the one Deion used to do?

Ray Lewis is a biatch.


Sorry don't remember that. Neither do you.

Also, I wish they'd unban everything. So hypocritical to say "we'll do everything medically possible to get you back on the field...but oh here's a couple things you can't do because it sets a bad example for kids."

It's apparently ok to shoot anti-inflammatories into your knee cartilige before every game and take enough painkillers to
kill a rhino, but deer antler spray? That crosses the line.

I want my athletes performing to levels only possible through a committed regimen of shooting up the latest and greatest performance enhancers medical science has to offer. I want to see 10 homers a game and a 350 lb DT run a 4.4 with 5% body fat. I want players to recover in weeks instead of months from muscle tears and ligament damage.

After all that's why I watch professional sports, to see super human feats of athletic prowess. If they can be bigger, faster and stronger, then they should be encouraged to go for it.
 
2013-01-29 07:56:12 PM  

machoprogrammer: Then again, 99% (if not, 100%) of NFL players are juicing.


I doubt the numbers are quite that high, but, yes. Chemical enhancements are the NFL's dirty little "secret".

If they were serious about reducing head trauma, the NFL would have been paving the way for viable comprehensive testing and made it mandatory in the last CBA, among other things.
 
2013-01-29 08:01:52 PM  

jennyz: DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.

I see what you did there.


I just want to turn on Sportscenter for 5 minutes without hearing about how Ray Lewis is so great and how it's a tragedy he's retiring. I don't think that's too much to ask.
 
2013-01-29 08:02:44 PM  
katchop.com

cdn.ksk.uproxx.com

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
russellstreetreport.com
/ everybody LOVES R*y L*wis
 
2013-01-29 08:04:58 PM  
The elk and antelope will take the fall, and Ray-Ray will pay them off.
 
2013-01-29 08:05:16 PM  

bgddy24601: I'd put more credence in it if the substance in this crap that is supposed to speed the healing process wasn't on the list of banned substances that they test for and he has never failed that test. I know, I know...Lance Armstrong. I just don't think it compares.


Two things:

1) It won't show up in a pee test, gotta have blood, and;
2) The substance will definitely show up on a blood test directly, as opposed to other substances that Lance Armstrong used
 
2013-01-29 08:09:21 PM  
Does the NFL even test brah?
 
2013-01-29 08:14:36 PM  
Marketing and advertising.
 
2013-01-29 08:14:39 PM  
They should be allowed to use any means available to rehab an injury. Long term use is an issue though. As long as Kobe stays away from Germany during the season he gets away with it.

AP's ridiculous leg muscles aren't the product of just exercise. Unless he was leg pressing a half ton while rehabbing a knee injury.

/tired of the ESPN fellating of ray Lewis too.
 
2013-01-29 08:17:44 PM  

DeWayne Mann: jennyz: DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.

I see what you did there.

I just want to turn on Sportscenter for 5 minutes without hearing about how Ray Lewis is so great and how it's a tragedy he's retiring. I don't think that's too much to ask.


I was referring to your decision to use the word "fawning".
 
2013-01-29 08:19:47 PM  
As a 49er fan I simply say shut up and is it Sunday yet.
 
2013-01-29 08:19:47 PM  

jennyz: DeWayne Mann: jennyz: DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.

I see what you did there.

I just want to turn on Sportscenter for 5 minutes without hearing about how Ray Lewis is so great and how it's a tragedy he's retiring. I don't think that's too much to ask.

I was referring to your decision to use the word "fawning".


...holy crap.

I did NOT do that on purpose.
 
2013-01-29 08:26:10 PM  
Ross told SI he prescribed a program to help Lewis' recovery that included multiple components, including holographic stickers for the elbow, sleeping in front of a beam-ray light, drinking negatively charged water and taking a regiment of deer-antler pills and spraying deer-antler extract under the tongue every two hours.

This man needs an anti-tiger rock.
 
2013-01-29 08:32:37 PM  
Come on.  Look at all those freaks of nature out there.  Look at film from just 20-30 years ago if you don't remember how players used to look.  They're all using something, and it clearly starts in college.  You'd have to be a naive idiot to think otherwise.

Which is why the timing of this allegation is all the more suspect.  But go ahead with it.  Rile up Ray Lewis.  Piss him off.

Proceed, SI.
 
2013-01-29 08:33:37 PM  

DeWayne Mann: ...holy crap.

I did NOT do that on purpose.



Did you ever weigh in on the Upton trade?
 
2013-01-29 08:36:12 PM  

neuroflare: DeWayne Mann: ...holy crap.

I did NOT do that on purpose.


Did you ever weigh in on the Upton trade?


The day we finally got a thread here was the one day I was away from Fark the whole time. So by the time I finally saw the thread, everyone else was gone.

I'm trying to threadjack the A-rod thread though.
 
2013-01-29 08:38:15 PM  

DeWayne Mann: neuroflare: DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.

Murder allegations couldn't, but damnit sports are IMPORTANT

Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.


It'll likely be a standard 4-game substance abuse penalty once it's proven that dancing in the blood of your victims improves game performance.

/don't ask how they study this
 
2013-01-29 08:39:06 PM  

regindyn: DeWayne Mann: neuroflare: DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.

Murder allegations couldn't, but damnit sports are IMPORTANT

Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.

It'll likely be a standard 4-game substance abuse penalty once it's proven that dancing in the blood of your victims improves game performance.

/don't ask how they study this


I assume the suspension will be doubled if you invite your teammates to dance with you.
 
2013-01-29 08:42:27 PM  

DeWayne Mann: regindyn: DeWayne Mann: neuroflare: DeWayne Mann: As a baseball fan, I assume that everyone will now call him a cheat and stop fawning over him at every opportunity for the rest of this week.

Murder allegations couldn't, but damnit sports are IMPORTANT

Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.

It'll likely be a standard 4-game substance abuse penalty once it's proven that dancing in the blood of your victims improves game performance.

/don't ask how they study this

I assume the suspension will be doubled if you invite your teammates to dance with you.


Suspension should be reduced, as there's less blood per dancer, but I don't think the commish will see it my way.
 
2013-01-29 08:46:55 PM  
Oh yeah...

robsul82: DeWayne Mann: Is there an NFL rule about murder? They should probably put one in this offseason if not.

Rule 330549 - No murder.


webpages.charter.net

I didn't get a "harumph" outta that guy
 
2013-01-29 08:47:31 PM  
... or anyone for that matter ...
 
2013-01-29 08:51:49 PM  
What about cat urine? Is that still an acceptable stress relief?

Sure you have to fight in the breastuary, but I imagine it is still a very relaxing time.
 
2013-01-29 08:54:22 PM  

neuroflare: ... or anyone for that matter ...


Harumph!

/Bitter about the lack of Blazing Saddles references in that thread in the Politics tab today
 
2013-01-29 08:57:06 PM  

lordjupiter: But go ahead with it. Rile up Ray Lewis. Piss him off.

Proceed, SI.


Now, now. We don't want him getting too riled up. He already ruined one suit.
 
2013-01-29 08:59:06 PM  

machoprogrammer: INeedAName: While I don't want it to be true, I can't say it didn't cross my mind. AP is another one that struck me as recovering far too well, far too quickly.

This. And if you think AP didn't get HGH to help recover his knee, you are pretty naive.

Then again, 99% (if not, 100%) of NFL players are juicing.


HGH doesn't actually do anything.

Exhibit A: Alex Rodriguez.
 
2013-01-29 09:01:07 PM  
It's pretty clear that testosterone makes us heavily-muscled douchenozzles.

Is estrogen Humane Growth Hormone?
 
2013-01-29 09:03:42 PM  

hershy799: neuroflare: ... or anyone for that matter ...

Harumph!

/Bitter about the lack of Blazing Saddles references in that thread in the Politics tab today


They're never not appropriate.

/unless the Sheriff really is
//nah, still FARK appropriate
 
2013-01-29 09:08:54 PM  
Can someone give RG3 some of that?
 
2013-01-29 09:10:35 PM  

Larry Mahnken: machoprogrammer: INeedAName: While I don't want it to be true, I can't say it didn't cross my mind. AP is another one that struck me as recovering far too well, far too quickly.

This. And if you think AP didn't get HGH to help recover his knee, you are pretty naive.

Then again, 99% (if not, 100%) of NFL players are juicing.

HGH doesn't actually do anything.

Exhibit A: Alex Rodriguez.


Haha, fair enough, but if it did nothing, players wouldn't take it. Nor would pro bodybuilders. They wouldn't waste the tens of thousands per year they spend on it.

lordjupiter: Come on.  Look at all those freaks of nature out there.  Look at film from just 20-30 years ago if you don't remember how players used to look.  They're all using something, and it clearly starts in college.  You'd have to be a naive idiot to think otherwise.

Which is why the timing of this allegation is all the more suspect.  But go ahead with it.  Rile up Ray Lewis.  Piss him off.

Proceed, SI.


This. Except from what I hear, it starts in high school a lot
 
Displayed 50 of 114 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report