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(Daily Mail)   Like sipping lemonade on a hot summer's day. Sex the way great-grandma remembers   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 98
    More: Cool, erotic films, Edwardian, orbital period  
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20136 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2013 at 5:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-29 05:15:51 PM  
Remember the good old days, where a white man could rape their way accross the lands without retribution? Pepperidge Farms remembers.
 
2013-01-29 05:16:58 PM  
...drunkenly, with the african-american gentleman who was employed as a server at the fancy party she and great-grandpa were at when he got a little tipsy and hit on the hostess and she wanted to get even with him so she decided to see if the rumors she had heard about how they were endowed "down there" were true?
 
2013-01-29 05:21:41 PM  
Great-grandma can't remember dick

/literally
 
2013-01-29 05:22:34 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Great-grandma can't remember dick

/literally


Ah, so that's why it frightens her every time great-grandpa whips it out and dangles it in her face.
 
2013-01-29 05:22:38 PM  
Fine and dandy like sour candy
 
2013-01-29 05:30:24 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: ...drunkenly, with the african-american gentleman who was employed as a server at the fancy party she and great-grandpa were at when he got a little tipsy and hit on the hostess and she wanted to get even with him so she decided to see if the rumors she had heard about how they were endowed "down there" were true?


It's tweuw, it's tweuw!
 
2013-01-29 05:44:30 PM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-29 05:53:34 PM  
Sex with grandma? Crisco is there...
 
2013-01-29 05:54:35 PM  
Because sweaty hay loft boinking wasn't discovered until the 20th century.

Romanticize body odor and weekly.bathing.
 
2013-01-29 05:58:40 PM  
opening up pornography for a wider female market

Candida Royalle has been doing that since the early 80s. Just because someone has jumped on the Downton Abbey bandwagon doesn't make it revolutionary.
 
2013-01-29 05:59:11 PM  
Um; I'm pretty sure great-granny doesn't remember what she had for breakfast this morning; much less that tryst she had with that African American girl in the hay loft circa 1880.
 
2013-01-29 05:59:39 PM  
 
2013-01-29 06:00:07 PM  
Must be some awesome lemonade...
 
2013-01-29 06:03:33 PM  

fusillade762: opening up pornography for a wider female market

Candida Royalle has been doing that since the early 80s. Just because someone has jumped on the Downton Abbey bandwagon doesn't make it revolutionary.


I think it's more like Downton Abbey meets 50 Shades of Grey.

/Porn mash-ups?
//Photoshop contest?
 
2013-01-29 06:04:10 PM  
www.kilmerhouse.com
 
2013-01-29 06:07:14 PM  
Lemonade, lemonade, like grandma made?

Do we gots some Cactus League attendees in the house?
 
2013-01-29 06:07:29 PM  
He fixes the cable? Don't be fatuous, Jeffery.
 
2013-01-29 06:08:49 PM  
'Men tend to be more visual and more attracted to body parts. Women tend to look at the whole. When a woman sees a sexy man, she wonders what it's like to be with him. She looks at him relationally.

Men tend to be socialized this way, and women tend to be socialized another way. If you are not gawking over the size and shape of various body parts, imagining the sticky and sweat things you could do, wondering about enjoying the person before and after any sexual activities, considering this person as a whole, etc., you're rather stunted. Body parts and our reactions to them are supposed to lead us into long term relationships.Pornography isn't for either men or women; pornography is for either time trials or marathons.
 
2013-01-29 06:09:20 PM  

Trolly McTrollerson: Pocket Ninja did it.


That is a thing of beauty. Do you have the comment about the performance artist who masturbates on sleeping women on the subway?
 
2013-01-29 06:09:52 PM  
This is nothing new. Candida Royale started doing these when she transitioned from performing to directing in the mid 80's. There's even a name for the niche: "couples porn"
 
2013-01-29 06:10:54 PM  
fusillade762:

like he said

/didn't read the thread
 
2013-01-29 06:12:04 PM  
Great-Grandma got knocked up at Auschwitz.

She always made the bread, oven baked.
 
2013-01-29 06:12:36 PM  

iheartscotch: Um; I'm pretty sure great-granny doesn't remember what she had for breakfast this morning; much less that tryst she had with that African American girl in the hay loft circa 1880.


Daguerrotypes or it didn't happen.
 
2013-01-29 06:12:58 PM  
Crap, the only thing wrong about being a grandpa? You are sleeping with a grandma!
 
2013-01-29 06:13:17 PM  
So women like porn, just not the type of porn I like. Shameless hussies!
 
2013-01-29 06:14:25 PM  

lockers: Trolly McTrollerson: Pocket Ninja did it.

That is a thing of beauty. Do you have the comment about the performance artist who masturbates on sleeping women on the subway?


Don't think i know that one. My google-fu turns up a lot of "masturbate" hits but I don't see anything with subways that looks relevant.
 
2013-01-29 06:18:52 PM  
I'm not sure it's worth living longer if it means I have to watch two of these romance porn movies a week.
 
2013-01-29 06:19:04 PM  
Behold, the pocketninja glory:

There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they...people like us, people only 70 years young...enjoying physical intimacy and feel repulsed by the idea. Sickened, even. But they don't know. They don't know how beautiful it is, how it feels to be lying there in the marital bed, with the hollow worn like a comfortable cave into the center of the mattress from all those decades of showing your love for each other. They don't know what it's like to be waiting there, quivering, your tender breasts nestled softly into your armpits, your body quivering in anticipation, your sex wet with desire and a half tube of petroleum jelly. And then he comes in, shuffling across the floor in a half trot of pure passion, and he collapses beside you and wheezes in your ear and you run your hand down his chest, feel the thin wires of hair and fleshy wrinkles. And you know what he wants, of course you do, you've already taken out your teeth, they're floating there in their jar beside the bed like twin lines of pearls, and when you take him into your mouth your mind flashes back to dim childhood memories, licorice sticks and chocolate softened by the sun. And you feel his hands wind into your hair, feel his hips bucking, and you slide your own hand underneath him, pushing past the soft mounds of his rear to find that one spot, slick now with the anti-hemorrhoid cream that makes such a perfect lubricant, and you slide your finger inside, touch him in that one spot he's always loved, and you feel his hips bucking against your face and he's moaning, "Oh, Esther. Esther!" like he does and you know the time is close for you to mount him, to ride him like that horse you used to have when you were just a little girl in North Dakota and didn't understand the hot flame sensation between your legs on those long, backroad afternoons. Blake, that mighty stallion, whose manhood you spent an afternoon exploring in the barn until that one moment, explosive whinny and hot cream all over your hands, your face, your hair. And Edgar, bucking now, frantic, your finger up to the third knuckle and pressing, thrusting, gouging. They don't know. They just don't know the beauty.
 
2013-01-29 06:20:35 PM  
So it shows a man doing housework for 90 mins. Then rewarded with an old fashion?

/DNRTFA.
 
2013-01-29 06:21:30 PM  

BronyMedic: Behold, the pocketninja glory:

There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they...people like us, people only 70 years young...enjoying physical intimacy and feel repulsed by the idea. Sickened, even. But they don't know. They don't know how beautiful it is, how it feels to be lying there in the marital bed, with the hollow worn like a comfortable cave into the center of the mattress from all those decades of showing your love for each other. They don't know what it's like to be waiting there, quivering, your tender breasts nestled softly into your armpits, your body quivering in anticipation, your sex wet with desire and a half tube of petroleum jelly. And then he comes in, shuffling across the floor in a half trot of pure passion, and he collapses beside you and wheezes in your ear and you run your hand down his chest, feel the thin wires of hair and fleshy wrinkles. And you know what he wants, of course you do, you've already taken out your teeth, they're floating there in their jar beside the bed like twin lines of pearls, and when you take him into your mouth your mind flashes back to dim childhood memories, licorice sticks and chocolate softened by the sun. And you feel his hands wind into your hair, feel his hips bucking, and you slide your own hand underneath him, pushing past the soft mounds of his rear to find that one spot, slick now with the anti-hemorrhoid cream that makes such a perfect lubricant, and you slide your finger inside, touch him in that one spot he's always loved, and you feel his hips bucking against your face and he's moaning, "Oh, Esther. Esther!" like he does and you know the time is close for you to mount him, to ride him like that horse you used to have when you were just a little girl in North Dakota and didn't understand the hot flame sensation between your legs on those long, backroad afternoons. Blake, that mighty stallion, whose manhood you spent an afternoon exploring in the barn until that one mom ...


And I'm spent
 
2013-01-29 06:22:47 PM  
I would be remiss in my duty, if I did not tell you, that the idea of... intercourse - your firm, young... body... comingling with... withered flesh... sagging breasts... flabby b-b-buttocks... makes me want... to vomit.
 
2013-01-29 06:23:07 PM  

Shadow Blasko: And I'm spent


i245.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-29 06:23:28 PM  
Banging is banging, whatever the period.
 
2013-01-29 06:23:42 PM  

BronyMedic: Behold, the pocketninja glory:

There are young people, I know, who look on the idea of people older than they...people like us, people only 70 years young...enjoying physical intimacy and feel repulsed by the idea. Sickened, even. But they don't know. They don't know how beautiful it is, how it feels to be lying there in the marital bed, with the hollow worn like a comfortable cave into the center of the mattress from all those decades of showing your love for each other. They don't know what it's like to be waiting there, quivering, your tender breasts nestled softly into your armpits, your body quivering in anticipation, your sex wet with desire and a half tube of petroleum jelly. And then he comes in, shuffling across the floor in a half trot of pure passion, and he collapses beside you and wheezes in your ear and you run your hand down his chest, feel the thin wires of hair and fleshy wrinkles. And you know what he wants, of course you do, you've already taken out your teeth, they're floating there in their jar beside the bed like twin lines of pearls, and when you take him into your mouth your mind flashes back to dim childhood memories, licorice sticks and chocolate softened by the sun. And you feel his hands wind into your hair, feel his hips bucking, and you slide your own hand underneath him, pushing past the soft mounds of his rear to find that one spot, slick now with the anti-hemorrhoid cream that makes such a perfect lubricant, and you slide your finger inside, touch him in that one spot he's always loved, and you feel his hips bucking against your face and he's moaning, "Oh, Esther. Esther!" like he does and you know the time is close for you to mount him, to ride him like that horse you used to have when you were just a little girl in North Dakota and didn't understand the hot flame sensation between your legs on those long, backroad afternoons. Blake, that mighty stallion, whose manhood you spent an afternoon exploring in the barn until that one mom ...


And that is why he is a nice shade of green whenever he posts.
 
2013-01-29 06:24:58 PM  

Barricaded Gunman: iheartscotch: Um; I'm pretty sure great-granny doesn't remember what she had for breakfast this morning; much less that tryst she had with that African American girl in the hay loft circa 1880.

Daguerrotypes or it didn't happen.


I'm quoting great grandpa on this one: "Your great granny was quite the bone-able fox in her day; and if pictures of the her tryst with that African American girl exist; they are stuck together"

/ not serious
 
2013-01-29 06:25:09 PM  

ukexpat: Banging is banging, whatever the period.


www.geekscape.net
 
2013-01-29 06:27:21 PM  
So, does that mean Brazzers is gonna do "Lysol Douche" videos?

img440.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-29 06:28:05 PM  
Note to pornographers:

Victorian women did not shave ANYTHING AT ALL.
 
2013-01-29 06:38:20 PM  
In her prime Grandma was a knockout. Grandpa was the envy of the town having such a sweet young lass with those big perky knockers straining the buttons on her cotton sundress.

Mom inherited the big knockers. Dad was the envy of the town having such a sweet young lass with those big bouncy boobies straining the buttons on her cotton sundress.

I married a sweet young lass with huge titties. But nobody envies me because I'm an asshole.
 
2013-01-29 06:42:42 PM  
How'd they know grammaw tastes like lemonaide?
 
2013-01-29 06:42:52 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: But nobody envies me because I'm an asshole.


You're an honest asshole. I envy that.
 
2013-01-29 06:44:50 PM  

Darth_Lukecash: Remember the good old days, where a white man could rape their way accross the lands without retribution? Pepperidge Farms remembers.


Oh! Like you didn't enjoy it!
 
2013-01-29 06:45:38 PM  
Grandma? Bullshiat. Great grandma. And Great, great grandma. Good enough for 16 offspring so those old broads got their shiat going on, regardless.
 
2013-01-29 06:46:56 PM  

fanbladesaresharp: Grandma? Bullshiat. Great grandma. And Great, great grandma. Good enough for 16 offspring so those old broads got their shiat going on, regardless.


They didn't have anything else to do on the farm but work, drink and fark.
 
2013-01-29 06:47:54 PM  
Sex between great grandma and great grandpa would be like trying to stuff a raw oyster into a small piggy bank!
 
2013-01-29 06:51:04 PM  

TV's Vinnie: So, does that mean Brazzers is gonna do "Lysol Douche" videos?

[img440.imageshack.us image 477x1024]


Sometimes not even Lysol is enough

/Better lemonade than lemon party am I right?
 
2013-01-29 06:52:30 PM  
Hasn't this market been covered in the soft core offerings of late night cinnemax and showtime?

It isn't anything new, just someone trying to create marketing hype for their new film.
 
2013-01-29 06:53:21 PM  

BronyMedic: ukexpat: Banging is banging, whatever the period.

[www.geekscape.net image 850x462]


I don't want to laugh at that
fc04.deviantart.net
 
2013-01-29 06:54:26 PM  

fusillade762: Candida Royalle


That name sounds like the grandest of yeast infections
 
2013-01-29 06:54:30 PM  
A stripper-turned-film maker is putting a softer spin on typical pornography with a new genre of Edwardian-style romance porn - and it seems women are flocking to watch.

So instead of a plumber or the pizza guy, we have a chimney sweep knocking on the door.

files.coveringthemouse.com


Oi, madam, I'm 'ere ter clean yaaahr chimneys, if yew know what I mean. OK?
 
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