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(Buzzfeed)   22 ways to live longer...including having lots of really good sex, and using Twitter   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 96
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10658 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2013 at 5:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-29 05:24:19 PM
DRINK OVALTINE
 
2013-01-29 05:26:11 PM
Having sex twice a week is "lots?"
 
2013-01-29 05:27:43 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


This article must have been submitted by a TFer.

/not me
//seriously
///why are you looking at me like that?
 
2013-01-29 05:28:47 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


To some folks... yes.
 
2013-01-29 05:29:06 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


When your 68, having sex twice a week is just a memory.
 
2013-01-29 05:29:44 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


That's a lot of begging...
 
2013-01-29 05:30:36 PM
My cat doesn't increase my lifespan? Lousy adorable freeloader.
 
2013-01-29 05:30:58 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


For some of you, this will mean much less sex.

For me, much, much more.
 
2013-01-29 05:31:35 PM
A lot of nice round numbers and general statements. I am calling bs.
 
2013-01-29 05:32:23 PM
And you don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
 
2013-01-29 05:33:13 PM
Does dancing in amounts other than 3 times a week yield non-corresponding amounts of exercise?

/How does pedantry affect longevity?
 
2013-01-29 05:33:19 PM

Point02GPA: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

When your 68, having sex twice a week is just a memory.


When my 68 does what?
 
2013-01-29 05:35:09 PM

jmayson: Point02GPA: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

When your 68, having sex twice a week is just a memory.

When my 68 does what?


Nice catch...enjoy
 
2013-01-29 05:35:52 PM
Sex is good cardio. I dont understand the Twitter
 
2013-01-29 05:38:44 PM
Get a bloody dog? Hell no.

I'm 67, expecting to be 68 later this year (with any luck).

What's going to happen, Point02GPA? Is there something they didn't tell me? I'm frightened.
 
2013-01-29 05:41:13 PM
Live longer? No thanks. Been at it for too long already.
 
2013-01-29 05:42:11 PM

Tillmaster: Get a bloody dog? Hell no.

I'm 67, expecting to be 68 later this year (with any luck).

What's going to happen, Point02GPA? Is there something they didn't tell me? I'm frightened.


First thing you're going to remember is that you already have a dog.
 
2013-01-29 05:43:17 PM

Point02GPA: jmayson: Point02GPA: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

When your 68, having sex twice a week is just a memory.

When my 68 does what?

Nice catch...enjoy


I'm 60ish and live by the old adage..."Once a king; always a king, but once a week's enough..." ;^)

/doing 17 of the 25 (if you count hanging out on Fark as Twittering...)
 
2013-01-29 05:43:53 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


How many dicks is that?
 
2013-01-29 05:44:02 PM
Eating porridge didn't seem to help the Three Bears. Not sayin', just sayin'.
 
2013-01-29 05:46:41 PM
Can I sue people who say "No." for attempted murder then?
 
2013-01-29 05:46:41 PM
Looking for http://twitter.com/DrewCurtis/ where he was drunk and spelled it twatter and then nuked the Pol tab. Anyone remember this?
 
2013-01-29 05:49:22 PM
Don't divorce?
The twin with the divorce looked older.
Maybe that is because their marriage sucked and the stress of constantly fighting with someone you live with aged them.
 
2013-01-29 05:54:09 PM
Owning a cat will shorten your lifespan because they are constantly plotting to kill you. Or at least mine is
 
2013-01-29 05:54:59 PM
Can I not use teh Twitters and just have more secks?
 
2013-01-29 05:55:06 PM
That read like a guide to better consumerism.
 
2013-01-29 05:56:32 PM
A 12-year-long study of coffee drinkers revealed that men and women who drink six cups of coffee a day reduce their risk of dying by 10% and 15%, respectively.

Except the folks able or needing to drink six cups of coffee a day tend to work inside in low stress but high boredom positions while living reasonably comfortably and having health care, because six cups of coffee is not a magic number to simply stave off mortality but is an indicator of a host of factors which contribute directly to longer life span. Will say the same goes for the majority of those where the overall lifestyle, including risk-taking behavior and such, is the cause of longer life and those behaviors. Easier to live longer when you're not uninsured, in manual labor, with a savings account, and time for additional exercise.
 
2013-01-29 05:59:22 PM
Who wrote the sloppy text for this? "...who drink six cups of coffee a day reduce their risk of dying...."
 
2013-01-29 06:03:35 PM
Six cups of coffee per day? How does your heart not burst out of your chest?
 
2013-01-29 06:08:15 PM

Point02GPA: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

When your 68, having sex twice a week is just a memory.


But at 69, things are different...
 
2013-01-29 06:12:09 PM
Twitter? Really?
 
2013-01-29 06:16:10 PM

Vangor: A 12-year-long study of coffee drinkers revealed that men and women who drink six cups of coffee a day reduce their risk of dying by 10% and 15%, respectively.

Except the folks able or needing to drink six cups of coffee a day tend to work inside in low stress but high boredom positions while living reasonably comfortably and having health care, because six cups of coffee is not a magic number to simply stave off mortality but is an indicator of a host of factors which contribute directly to longer life span. Will say the same goes for the majority of those where the overall lifestyle, including risk-taking behavior and such, is the cause of longer life and those behaviors. Easier to live longer when you're not uninsured, in manual labor, with a savings account, and time for additional exercise.


Are you trying to say that drinking 60 cups a day won't make me immortal? Seriously, I wonder if it's a curve that peaks at 6 or if it's "6 or more." It'd be nice if there were some charts or something instead of a stylized clipart graphic of what a cup of coffee might look like; sort of a waste of page space.
 
2013-01-29 06:19:07 PM
So, drinking 80 to 120 cup of coffee a day makes you immortal. Also, I have 1.5 orgasms a week and sometimes I pull out. Am I gonna die?

/This study has been brought to you by the following:

Tweeter
Skype
National Retail Federation
Our wives
 
2013-01-29 06:20:19 PM

ProfessorOhki: Vangor: A 12-year-long study of coffee drinkers revealed that men and women who drink six cups of coffee a day reduce their risk of dying by 10% and 15%, respectively.

Except the folks able or needing to drink six cups of coffee a day tend to work inside in low stress but high boredom positions while living reasonably comfortably and having health care, because six cups of coffee is not a magic number to simply stave off mortality but is an indicator of a host of factors which contribute directly to longer life span. Will say the same goes for the majority of those where the overall lifestyle, including risk-taking behavior and such, is the cause of longer life and those behaviors. Easier to live longer when you're not uninsured, in manual labor, with a savings account, and time for additional exercise.

Are you trying to say that drinking 60 cups a day won't make me immortal? Seriously, I wonder if it's a curve that peaks at 6 or if it's "6 or more." It'd be nice if there were some charts or something instead of a stylized clipart graphic of what a cup of coffee might look like; sort of a waste of page space.


GMTA
 
2013-01-29 06:21:41 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"



uh-oh we got a badassss over here
 
2013-01-29 06:23:07 PM

fathersaid: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


uh-oh we got a badassss over here


Oh no no no, I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.
 
2013-01-29 06:24:40 PM

skinink: DRINK OVALTINE



any friend of ovaltine is a friend of mine.
 
2013-01-29 06:24:54 PM

Agent Smiths Laugh: Live longer? No thanks. Been at it for too long already.


That's where I'm at. Only in my late 30's and I'm ready to call it a day.
 
2013-01-29 06:26:02 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"



if you climax 23 times each session it is.
 
2013-01-29 06:26:04 PM
Don't divorce? Really? Staying with that psycho biatch would have killed me had I tried to do it for another year. Or I'd have killed her. Prison ass rape will age you faster than divorce.
 
2013-01-29 06:30:41 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


If you are married, it is an almost unheard of amount.. especially if you have kids
 
2013-01-29 06:31:14 PM

Linux_Yes: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


if you climax 23 times each session it is.


That's a lot.
 
2013-01-29 06:31:22 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Don't divorce? Really? Staying with that psycho biatch would have killed me had I tried to do it for another year. Or I'd have killed her. Prison ass rape will age you faster than divorce.


Depends on if it's twice a week.
 
2013-01-29 06:32:13 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.
 
2013-01-29 06:34:33 PM
I think more important than having wives and sex, is having birthdays. There seems to be a direct correlation. The more birthdays you have, the longer you live.
 
2013-01-29 06:36:14 PM
including having lots of really good sex, and using Twitter

Preferably not simultaneously
 
2013-01-29 06:38:44 PM
 
2013-01-29 06:39:49 PM

Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.


I hear ya. I, too, used to be married.
 
2013-01-29 06:40:50 PM
I drink 6-7 XL turbo DD coffees a day.

/170
 
2013-01-29 06:43:20 PM

i.r.id10t: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

If you are married, it is an almost unheard of amount.. especially if you have kids


i240.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-29 06:44:22 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.

I hear ya. I, too, used to be married.


I'm not married. I'm just tired of people's BS.
 
2013-01-29 06:44:28 PM

Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.


There are these things called drunk fatties. 9 months is by your own choice.
 
2013-01-29 06:45:23 PM

i.r.id10t: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

If you are married, it is an almost unheard of amount.. especially if you have kids


I must be lucky

/15 yrs
//no kids
 
2013-01-29 06:46:04 PM

valar_morghulis: Linux_Yes: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


if you climax 23 times each session it is.

That's a lot.



lol. enough to blow an O'Ring.
 
2013-01-29 06:46:54 PM

Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.



Mrs. Palm and her 5 daughters are still interested.
 
2013-01-29 06:47:43 PM

Luminaro: Six cups of coffee per day? How does your heart not burst out of your chest?



that "scientific study" was paid for by the Coffee Growers of America, no doubt.
 
2013-01-29 06:48:58 PM
I think calorie reduction is the only proactive thing that's been statistically proven to increase life expectancy in humans. Not dieting or BMI, but long term low calories. Not exercise, vitamins, or any of that crap.

/citation definitely needed, but I'm too lazy
 
2013-01-29 06:48:58 PM

Linux_Yes: Luminaro: Six cups of coffee per day? How does your heart not burst out of your chest?


that "scientific study" was paid for by the Coffee Growers of America, no doubt.


Nah. The council for treating chronic nightowlism
 
2013-01-29 06:49:54 PM

Gnu Mutant: I drink 6-7 XL turbo DD coffees a day.

/170



and you are very addicted to caffeine. try stopping for a couple of days and find out how addicted you are.
 
2013-01-29 06:51:02 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.

There are these things called drunk fatties. 9 months is by your own choice.


Of course it is. I want something real. I guess that's too much to ask for these days.
 
2013-01-29 06:51:14 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


If you're doing it with another person, then yes.
 
2013-01-29 06:51:49 PM
Turmeric (and curry) is good stuff. Great way to make food zesty tangy without salt. The fact that it is also a more powerful antioxidant than most health supplements is a nice bonus.
 
2013-01-29 06:52:00 PM

Linux_Yes: Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.


Mrs. Palm and her 5 daughters are still interested.


Meh.
 
2013-01-29 06:52:57 PM
Goddamn article says we should be running 20 miles a week...

Hell. No.

That's 3 miles a day, every day. That'll kill you.

/The goal is to live LONGER, damnit.
 
2013-01-29 06:57:01 PM
If caffeine is good for you, Adderall must be twice as good far more effective. It's because it keeps you moving around and thinking twice as fast. So this aspect was mentioned 2x's in the article. Can you repeat in one article?
 
2013-01-29 06:58:52 PM

maram500: Goddamn article says we should be running 20 miles a week...
Hell. No.
That's 3 miles a day, every day. That'll kill you.
/The goal is to live LONGER, damnit.


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-29 07:00:18 PM

maram500: Goddamn article says we should be running 20 miles a week...

Hell. No.

That's 3 miles a day, every day. That'll kill you.


Agreed. Daily running is bad advice for anyone over 25. Unless you have miles of grass or dirt to run on, which most people don't. Running on asphalt/concrete is a great way to need orthopedic surgery by age 45. Brisk walking shows all the benefits of running without destroying your joints and ligaments.
 
2013-01-29 07:02:20 PM

Theonceovertwice: Smeggy Smurf: Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.

There are these things called drunk fatties. 9 months is by your own choice.

Of course it is. I want something real. I guess that's too much to ask for these days.


OK, on a serious note have you tried taking dance lessons? The broads love that shiat. It gets you up close and personal with them. You get to get your hands all over them in ways that would normally get you slapped or maced. It's fun and it's all about them. Plus during the lessons they have you switch to a different broad every few minutes so you get to interact with 10-15 different women during each lesson.

I took Mrs. Smurf out dancing for our first date. The shiat works. Try it.
 
2013-01-29 07:05:29 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Theonceovertwice: Smeggy Smurf: Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.

There are these things called drunk fatties. 9 months is by your own choice.

Of course it is. I want something real. I guess that's too much to ask for these days.

OK, on a serious note have you tried taking dance lessons? The broads love that shiat. It gets you up close and personal with them. You get to get your hands all over them in ways that would normally get you slapped or maced. It's fun and it's all about them. Plus during the lessons they have you switch to a different broad every few minutes so you get to interact with 10-15 different women during each lesson.

I took Mrs. Smurf out dancing for our first date. The shiat works. Try it.


I'm not into women. I AM one.
 
2013-01-29 07:10:06 PM

Linux_Yes: Gnu Mutant: I drink 6-7 XL turbo DD coffees a day.

/170


and you are very addicted to caffeine. try stopping for a couple of days and find out how addicted you are.


Well, I am addicted too. But so what? It's legal and cheap. What's the problem?
 
2013-01-29 07:14:17 PM
Don't divorce, my ass. If i was still married to my ex I would have killed myself years ago.
 
2013-01-29 07:16:50 PM

Theonceovertwice: Smeggy Smurf: Theonceovertwice: Smeggy Smurf: Theonceovertwice: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

Considering I haven't had sex in 9 months, yes.

There are these things called drunk fatties. 9 months is by your own choice.

Of course it is. I want something real. I guess that's too much to ask for these days.

OK, on a serious note have you tried taking dance lessons? The broads love that shiat. It gets you up close and personal with them. You get to get your hands all over them in ways that would normally get you slapped or maced. It's fun and it's all about them. Plus during the lessons they have you switch to a different broad every few minutes so you get to interact with 10-15 different women during each lesson.

I took Mrs. Smurf out dancing for our first date. The shiat works. Try it.

I'm not into women. I AM one.


Wish is was still in LA. I don't dance so I'd need somebody willing to give it a whirl.
 
2013-01-29 07:24:09 PM

KStDrew: So, drinking 80 to 120 cup of coffee a day makes you immortal. Also, I have 1.5 orgasms a week and sometimes I pull out. Am I gonna die?


Yes.
 
2013-01-29 07:36:23 PM
I'd rather enjoy my time and let natural selection do its thing than spend half my life time working just to prolong my existence.
 
2013-01-29 07:39:35 PM

strife: I'd rather enjoy my time and let natural selection do its thing than spend half my life time working just to prolong my existence.


Then naturally you will give up:

- Running clean hot and cold water instead of dirty water
- Indoor plumbing instead of festering outhouses
- Air conditioned and insulated homes instead of drafty shacks
- Fridges full of sterile and nutritious food instead of hunting and gathering
- Cushy office jobs instead of back-breaking labor in the sun
- Pharmacies filled with skin creams and various potions
- Giving birth in hospitals
- Almost magical medical care (Seriously. Look at what medicine was 100 years ago)
- Antibiotics galore
- Medications for conditions previously considered "natural" aging now being controlled (strontium ranelate, AGE cross-link breakers)

Because you're all about nature and shiat, and wouldn't want to, like, prolong your life and stuff.
 
2013-01-29 07:40:18 PM
The only one of these things I do regularly is "exercise the mind." I do crossword puzzles just about everyday. I like going for walks, but only in the summer. I do a few of the other things once in a while, and everything else, not at all.

/life sucks anyway
//don't really wanna live til I'm 100
 
2013-01-29 07:43:21 PM
Someone just posted this on Twitter: "Buzzfeed: Ten numbers before the number eleven that you HAVE to know."

Haha!!
 
2013-01-29 07:46:13 PM
If we're going by the tagline, I have been dead for years.

If we're going by the article, it looks like I'm dying young.

/imokaywiththis.jpg
 
2013-01-29 07:57:36 PM
Am I the only one who read the article headline as "...22 Ways to Beat Off..." at first?
 
2013-01-29 08:03:59 PM
23. Don't be a spelling nazi and rage at the number of atrocious mistakes in that infographic.
 
2013-01-29 08:04:24 PM
So the key to longevity according to "studies" is to take pine bark supplements and drink six cups of coffee? Well it sounds better than some other advice that's out there.


img.timeinc.net
 
2013-01-29 08:12:30 PM
i.r.id10t:
RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

If you are married, it is an almost unheard of amount.. especially if you have kids


A typical parental itinerary of reasons why sex doesn't happen:

- tired from work - sick child - sick mom - sick dad - relatives visiting- YAY TIRED SEX - her period - tired from work - household projects - child goes though insane night time "phase" - tired from work - her period - ... and so on.
 
2013-01-29 08:17:46 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


I wonder if masturbating four times a day and thinking about sex makes me live longer? I sure hope so.
 
2013-01-29 08:25:15 PM

Mambo Bananapatch: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

I wonder if masturbating four times a day and thinking about sex makes me live longer? I sure hope so.


Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
 
2013-01-29 08:27:48 PM

Mambo Bananapatch: RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"

I wonder if masturbating four times a day and thinking about sex makes me live longer? I sure hope so.


Well, we're both on our way to immortality...
 
2013-01-29 08:51:29 PM
Their graphic on "Eat Less" has a funny way of showing how to "reduce... caloric intake by 25%-30% per day". Who made that, Fox News?
 
2013-01-29 09:33:33 PM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: Having sex twice a week is "lots?"


When she shut it down a decade ago, yes, it's lots. Thank God for masturbation.
 
2013-01-29 09:48:19 PM
Draw two non-intersecting circles.
In one write "people who use twitter" and in the other write "people who have sex"
 
2013-01-29 09:52:49 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: strife: I'd rather enjoy my time and let natural selection do its thing than spend half my life time working just to prolong my existence.

Then naturally you will give up:

- Running clean hot and cold water instead of dirty water
- Indoor plumbing instead of festering outhouses
- Air conditioned and insulated homes instead of drafty shacks
- Fridges full of sterile and nutritious food instead of hunting and gathering
- Cushy office jobs instead of back-breaking labor in the sun
- Pharmacies filled with skin creams and various potions
- Giving birth in hospitals
- Almost magical medical care (Seriously. Look at what medicine was 100 years ago)
- Antibiotics galore
- Medications for conditions previously considered "natural" aging now being controlled (strontium ranelate, AGE cross-link breakers)


All good and incontestable points, which I'm glad to be a part of this period of time, but not quite what I meant.

Because you're all about nature and shiat

Nope.

and wouldn't want to, like, prolong your life and stuff.

I have no problem with anyone wanting to live as long as possible. However, the human condition and/or the precariousness of nature and the universe (which I'm ostensibly all about) will inevitably fark us.
 
2013-01-29 10:19:42 PM
I haven't had sex in a year or two.

*sigh* I guess I have to go out and be social again.

Do guys still pick up the tabs? I hope so.
 
2013-01-29 10:42:31 PM

strife: I have no problem with anyone wanting to live as long as possible. However, the human condition and/or the precariousness of nature and the universe (which I'm ostensibly all about) will inevitably fark us.


Fine. Stay in your living room. Just don't stop the people trying to understand how matter organizes itself into life, and those who want to tinker with it.
 
2013-01-29 11:36:00 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: strife: I have no problem with anyone wanting to live as long as possible. However, the human condition and/or the precariousness of nature and the universe (which I'm ostensibly all about) will inevitably fark us.

Fine. Stay in your living room. Just don't stop the people trying to understand how matter organizes itself into life, and those who want to tinker with it.


I don't know if you're serious or seriously trolling me. You didn't grasp the context of my original post and blew this out of proportion. Good night and good luck in whatever you do.
 
2013-01-29 11:39:32 PM
After reading the article it's apparent that I've been dead for quite a long time now. Good to know.
 
2013-01-30 01:58:55 AM
Key advice: "Be a winner."

K. I'll get right on that....
 
2013-01-30 07:31:49 PM

megarian: I haven't had sex in a year or two.

*sigh* I guess I have to go out and be social again.

Do guys still pick up the tabs? I hope so.


It's not like it would be difficult for you, and, yes, yes, they do.
 
2013-01-30 09:00:20 PM

Linux_Yes: Gnu Mutant: I drink 6-7 XL turbo DD coffees a day.

/170


and you are very addicted to caffeine. try stopping for a couple of days and find out how addicted you are.


Late reply but, yes, horribly.

I spend $660 a month on coffee and cigarettes. I've quit everything else (you name it) these have me deep.
 
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