If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Patch)   Sad: Man accidentally runs over his wife, so he calls 911. Fark: When the paramedics show up, he's accidentally stomping on her face   (plainfield.patch.com) divider line 121
    More: Sick, paramedics, Will County, Crest Hill, Presence St. Joseph Medical Center, Judge Rickmon  
•       •       •

14760 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Jan 2013 at 5:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



121 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-29 03:33:45 PM
What a heel.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-01-29 03:36:25 PM
The man obviously has no sole
 
2013-01-29 03:38:30 PM
I bet he'll be backing into a lot of things in the future
 
2013-01-29 03:45:59 PM
Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?
 
2013-01-29 03:54:01 PM
DIABEETUS
 
2013-01-29 03:54:47 PM
Hey! That's not the Heimlich Maneuver!
 
2013-01-29 03:55:59 PM

Ed Finnerty: Hey! That's not the Heimlich Maneuver CPR!


/Whatever
 
2013-01-29 03:56:09 PM
I don't even....

I can't even imagine walking up on a scene like that. I'd like to think I'd make music with the steel oxygen tank and a human skull, but damn.
 
2013-01-29 03:56:33 PM
Subby! That mugshot and no comment?? (w/ "Hell yes, I did it mugshot goodness")
 
2013-01-29 03:57:13 PM

BronyMedic: I don't even....

I can't even imagine walking up on a scene like that. I'd like to think I'd make music with the steel oxygen tank and a human skull, but damn.


You'd shiat your pants.
 
2013-01-29 03:58:39 PM

Madbassist1: You'd shiat your pants.


Awww. Look who's still mad.

static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-01-29 04:02:20 PM

kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?


In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".
 
2013-01-29 04:03:37 PM

mattharvest: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".


Does Illinois still have the Death Penalty? If anyone deserves a needle, it's this asshole.
 
2013-01-29 04:07:29 PM

Madbassist1: Subby! That mugshot and no comment?? (w/ "Hell yes, I did it mugshot goodness")


Drew Peterson's dad?
 
2013-01-29 04:09:39 PM

mattharvest: theories of murder


The name of my "Death Cab for Cutie" tribute band.
 
2013-01-29 04:21:06 PM
4:17pm. Today


"You Nichols?"

"Yeah. Who are ya and what the hell do ya wan-?"

"Your life."


img149.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-29 04:21:43 PM

BronyMedic: Does Illinois still have the Death Penalty? If anyone deserves a needle, it's this asshole.


Hey, he could have had a very good reason for kicking her to death.  Like the fact that the car didn't do a very good job of it.

If you think about it hard enough, this is really all Honda's fault.
 
2013-01-29 04:34:37 PM

BronyMedic: Madbassist1: You'd shiat your pants.

Awww. Look who's still mad.

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]


HA! I thought you were ignoring me. Crap. Anyway, I was merely telling the truth.
 
2013-01-29 05:10:14 PM
Approves.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-29 05:10:45 PM
it's the new CPR
 
2013-01-29 05:12:46 PM
jah, so klausse gets a curb party..
 
2013-01-29 05:14:05 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Approves.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x248]


That scene still makes me wince.. damn.
 
2013-01-29 05:14:28 PM
Ok, so let's go ahead and ban guns! for the children!
 
2013-01-29 05:14:30 PM
and was married to his wife for 12 years before her untimely death Saturday.

Timing seemed perfect for him.....
 
2013-01-29 05:14:42 PM

Madbassist1: Subby! That mugshot and no comment?? (w/ "Hell yes, I did it mugshot goodness")


Even a good headline has to leave some surprises.
 
2013-01-29 05:15:48 PM
I wonder what she did to deserve it.
 
2013-01-29 05:16:32 PM

BronyMedic: Does Illinois still have the Death Penalty? If anyone deserves a needle, it's this asshole.


No, not since essentially 2000.
 
2013-01-29 05:16:52 PM
dmdb.org
 
2013-01-29 05:17:19 PM

mattharvest: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".


Does that mean it's possible to be charged with attempted murder and murder for the same victim if there was some length of time between?
 
2013-01-29 05:17:56 PM
I figure that when you commit a crime, there is typically some plan to get away with it.

This is kind of like shooting someone in the back nine times and then leaving a suicide note for them.
 
2013-01-29 05:18:15 PM

rustypouch: I wonder what she did to deserve it.


She didn't die the first time he killed her.
 
2013-01-29 05:18:38 PM

mattharvest: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".


I think his objection was to the two counts, not the first degree part.
 
2013-01-29 05:18:42 PM
A couple of Oklahoma hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
... There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"
 
2013-01-29 05:18:53 PM

o4.aolcdn.com

Diabetus
 
2013-01-29 05:19:26 PM

Grapple: The Angry Hand of God: Approves.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x248]

That scene still makes me wince.. damn.


I do believe that may be the most disturbing thing I have seen in a movie, ever.
 
2013-01-29 05:19:32 PM

ProfessorOhki: mattharvest: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".

Does that mean it's possible to be charged with attempted murder and murder for the same victim if there was some length of time between?


Certainly. Consider if the attempt and success were a year apart. You could absolutely be charged for them separately. A day apart? Even still... A few minutes? That's where it gets a little sticky.
 
2013-01-29 05:20:39 PM
o4.aolcdn.com

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-29 05:21:23 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Grapple: The Angry Hand of God: Approves.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x248]

That scene still makes me wince.. damn.

I do believe that may be the most disturbing thing I have seen in a movie, ever.


you should see it in real life. It will change who you are and if it dont.. well you are going to hell
 
2013-01-29 05:21:59 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
Ain't that a kick in the head?
 
2013-01-29 05:22:46 PM
I think I know who he worked for...
i153.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-29 05:23:19 PM

rhiannon: rustypouch: I wonder what she did to deserve it.

She didn't die the first time he killed her.


I wonder if, perhaps, he hit her thinking she would die...and so he calls the ambulance to report the accident. So while he's waiting she starts to gasp for air and it's apparent that she's going to survive the murder attempt and tell the police he did it on purpose, in addition to more information about some crimes he has committed that she knows about. So he starts to finish the job manually and the paramedics get there a lot sooner than he expected.
 
2013-01-29 05:24:03 PM
I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.
 
2013-01-29 05:26:05 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


You might like this film, then.
locandine.org
Sounds exactly like the scenario you're describing.
 
2013-01-29 05:26:28 PM
"As emergency personnel approached the scene, the defendant was stomping on the victim's face in the garage," Connor said as he asked Judge Rickmon to hold Nichols in the county jail on a $5 million bond.

What a farking asshole. I hope you get the chair. After a good round of ass rapes.
 
2013-01-29 05:26:55 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


Well, I certainly feel better.
 
2013-01-29 05:27:32 PM
his client had been a longtime employee of the LaGrange Public Works Department before retiring.

How could something this terrible happen?! A how how how?
 
2013-01-29 05:27:56 PM
this is why you get a dog.
the cat stepped on the gas pedal just doesn't sound right when used as a alibi. on the other hand a bastard cat is more likely to be a actual murderer. happy to kill its owner when it doesn't get its tender vittles on time.
 
2013-01-29 05:30:20 PM

The Angry Hand of God: [o4.aolcdn.com image 163x203]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x248]


www.biography.com
 
2013-01-29 05:31:28 PM
I remember a story long ago..about some guy that took drugs and lost his mind, the cops got there and he had his baby son, was swinging him into the concrete by his feet over and over with overhand swings. The baby was obviously dead, and i dont know how they kept from shooting the guy into bloody rags just seeing something like that. I guess you would carry that around all your life.
 
2013-01-29 05:32:00 PM
Unfortunately the Rex Ryan Resuscitation Method is still in the testing stage.
 
2013-01-29 05:32:15 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


Just glanced at your profile and if you're seriously this depressed you need to go ahead and get divorced dude. I don't know if you've talked to to NY divorce attorneys and that's where you've gotten the idea that you'll go broke...but at least you apparently don't have kids, so no child support. Alimony could get pretty high for an 18 year marriage but would it really not be worth it to maybe enjoy your life
 
2013-01-29 05:36:06 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


Believe me, it's worth all the money you have not to be trapped.
 
2013-01-29 05:43:16 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a whole lot of spending money. It's gonna take plenty of money, to do it right, child. It's gonna take time. A whole lot of precious time. It's gonna take patience and time, mmm, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it right, child.

 
2013-01-29 05:43:43 PM

Smeggy Smurf: The Angry Hand of God: [o4.aolcdn.com image 163x203]

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x248]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]


It's almost as if there's a casual correlation between the "aging douchebag handlebar" moustache and, well, being an aging douchebag.
 
2013-01-29 05:45:59 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


i1090.photobucket.com

Uh, you're scaring me bro.
 
2013-01-29 05:47:54 PM

rustypouch: I wonder what she did to deserve it.


She didn't make him a damn sammich. The biatch. Whore. Coont. Arse-hole. Lazy-ass slut.
 
2013-01-29 05:48:13 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


That happened to me with the ex, only it was a cohabitation. We weren't married or anything, which I am thankful for.

Is there any way that you can start taking of yourself first (i.e., seek therapy, see a psychiatrist, that whole rigmarole)? I'm not meaning to imply that you're not. I don't know you. I guess that I'm saying that might be a good first step. People who are miserable tend to find a way to be miserable no matter what. So, I'm probably projecting quite a bit here, as I'm doing okay now, but the "okay" really translates to "a lot less miserable" since the aforementioned relationship ended, if that makes any sense. In other words, there was more than one source for my misery. Being rid of one source helped immensely, but it didn't get me where I needed to be.
 
2013-01-29 05:48:32 PM

MattyBlast: rustypouch: I wonder what she did to deserve it.

She didn't make him a damn sammich. The biatch. Whore. Coont. Arse-hole. Lazy-ass slut.


He probably had a flashback. He was seeing charile in the trees.
 
2013-01-29 05:49:15 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: his client had been a longtime employee of the LaGrange Public Works Department before retiring.

How could something this terrible happen?! A how how how?


Stop that now!
 
2013-01-29 05:52:19 PM
FTA: Murphy then asked Rickmon for a $100,000 bond.

"That's not going to happen," said the judge, who kept it at $5 million.


I hear that in the voice of that fat, bald judge on Law&Order.
 
2013-01-29 05:52:58 PM
WIFE
o4.aolcdn.com
I AM DISSAPOINT
 
2013-01-29 05:55:49 PM

sandi_fish: Believe me, it's worth all the money you have not to be trapped.


THIS.

My divorce became final last Wednesday. It didn't cost me any money out of pocket since I represented myself and was willing to give her everything we owned in order to get away from her and be done with it(I kept a car). It's fairly easy to do in states like Florida. Others not so much. It also helps if you can convince her/him to divorce without going after each other like rabid animals. I got her to agree to no alimony and she even has to pay the mortage on our home since she agreed to do it without her lawyer being present. Other than not being able to get my name off of the mortage right now I'm free, free, free. It's a great feeling for sure and I recommend it for anyone in a bad marriage. In most cases it's certainly better than staying in one.
 
2013-01-29 05:57:34 PM
KrispyKritter: -- I don't know you or your situation, but if it is like you say...

Get out, get out now. Kiss off the material goodies and get a new fresh start. The sooner you start over the sooner you start fresh.

/No I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn last night.
 
2013-01-29 05:59:52 PM

KiwDaWabbit: I figure that when you commit a crime, there is typically some plan to get away with it.
This is kind of like shooting someone in the back nine times and then leaving a suicide note for them.


Since they were in the garage, I can just see this guy telling the police that he hit her hard enough to kill her ....while he was still in the garage. He'd have to be squealing out of there like Steve McQueen to hit somebody that hard, or driving through the back wall. Or did he pull into the driveway at 50 mph and "accidentally" not see her in the driveway, and ran her clean over? There is just no way to explain that.

Poor woman. I'm sure she was abused for years.

KrispyKritter: It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


Hey, Krispy--It isn't just women. I believe you. But with no kids, she can only do so much to you--and it's worth it. Go find the sleaziest lawyer you can, and tell him you need to do a sneaky divorce. Some of those scumbags are amazing at that stuff.
 
2013-01-29 06:00:44 PM

kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?


James Holmes was charged twice for each of his victims too. "Once for first degree murder, and once for murder with extreme indifference" is the reason they gave in that case. Not that it makes much sense, since the murder count is the same, but hey...he's farked either way, right?
 
2013-01-29 06:03:59 PM
So he's just supposed to just LET the ants go to town on her face? You insensitive farks.
 
2013-01-29 06:05:22 PM

banandar123: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

James Holmes was charged twice for each of his victims too. "Once for first degree murder, and once for murder with extreme indifference" is the reason they gave in that case. Not that it makes much sense, since the murder count is the same, but hey...he's farked either way, right?


Holmes will get off, I'm willing to bet. Instead of getting a needle, he'll get a daily shot of ativan and a nice padded room to drool in.
 
2013-01-29 06:06:31 PM
Oh, and KrispyKritter, you might want to avoid saying shiat like that until AFTER you get a divorce. If anything ever happens, what you say online can, and probably will, come back to bite you in the ass. Even if it's just a divorce in general. Her or her lawyer can use it against you in ways that will make things even more difficult for you than they would need to be. Especially if they're an asshole to begin with. Also, if things are as bad as you say then get out now while you still have some sanity left.
 
2013-01-29 06:10:37 PM

cryinoutloud: Since they were in the garage, I can just see this guy telling the police that he hit her hard enough to kill her ....while he was still in the garage. He'd have to be squealing out of there like Steve McQueen to hit somebody that hard, or driving through the back wall. Or did he pull into the driveway at 50 mph and "accidentally" not see her in the driveway, and ran her clean over? There is just no way to explain that.


Possible that he hit her backing up and didn't notice until he'd driven over her. The weight of actually being driven over can be fatal.

/but this one is murder
 
2013-01-29 06:12:01 PM

Theaetetus: mattharvest: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".

I think his objection was to the two counts, not the first degree part.


perhaps there are different counts because there are different theories.

according to florida:

782.04Murder.-
(1)(a)The unlawful killing of a human being:
1.When perpetrated from a premeditated design to effect the death of the person killed or any human being;
2.When committed by a person engaged in the perpetration of, or in the attempt to perpetrate, any:
...
i.Aggravated abuse of an elderly person or disabled adult,
...
is murder in the first degree and constitutes a capital felony, punishable as...

***

So, first count:

murder in the first under premeditation. see 782.04(1)(a)(1)

second count:

murder in the first When committed by a person engaged in aggravated abuse of an elderly person or disabled adult. see 782.04(1)(a)(2)(i).

***

i'm just guessing. not a lawyer in florida. where I'm from, it's written a little more clearly, there's a premeditation and other act requirement. from the way this was written, it looks like premeditation alone is enough for murder 1. and there's the unpremeditated other act murder 1.
/ but, whenever you don't have to prove premeditation, you're day just got a lot easier.
 
2013-01-29 06:16:48 PM

Theaetetus: KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a whole lot of spending money. It's gonna take plenty of money, to do it right, child. It's gonna take time. A whole lot of precious time. It's gonna take patience and time, mmm, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it right, child.


I was reading along and suddenly realized where you'd gone and thought, no, no that can't be right.

Then I LOL'd and choked on coffee.

/I'm on Cloud 9 right now
//It'll pass.
 
2013-01-29 06:17:53 PM

draa: Oh, and KrispyKritter, you might want to avoid saying shiat like that until AFTER you get a divorce. If anything ever happens, what you say online can, and probably will, come back to bite you in the ass. Even if it's just a divorce in general. Her or her lawyer can use it against you in ways that will make things even more difficult for you than they would need to be. Especially if they're an asshole to begin with. Also, if things are as bad as you say then get out now while you still have some sanity left.


Depends on where you live, my state is a no-fault state. Your going to get half, and you most likely will get split time with the kids unless they can really prove there is some other compelling reason that involves being arrested. There has got to be some free legal advice services if money is a real issue. The first step is committing to leaving. If she makes you that unhappy, do it and don't worry about it.
 
2013-01-29 06:21:20 PM
Im so sick of hearing about these innocent victims being murdered in cold blood by assault vehicles. Perhaps every vehicle should have automatic proximity sensors that prevent this kind of thing. Or maybe we just need to restrict vehicles to 2 wheels and they must weigh less than 300 pounds.... no commuter needs more than that to get to where they need to go.

If it saves one life, it will be worth it.
 
2013-01-29 06:21:35 PM

KiwDaWabbit: I figure that when you commit a crime, there is typically some plan to get away with it.

This is kind of like shooting someone in the back nine times and then leaving a suicide note for them.


Except the police arrive around shot 5.

/Scum like this make it hard for me to be anti-death penalty. I'll just have to settle for hoping he spends the rest of his miserable life in the darkest, quietest, loneliest cell we can find.
//A shanking in the yard is too good for this shiatstain.
 
2013-01-29 06:28:46 PM
Vietnam came back to him in a big way. so sad.

that's what makes War the gift that keeps on giving.
 
2013-01-29 06:30:55 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I bet he'll be backing into a lot of things in the future



it'll be much harder to stomp his new 'wife' when she's 6'4" and 250 lbs.
 
2013-01-29 06:31:20 PM
thanks to our superior legal system -- even if convicted tomorrow, he will sit around for 15 or 20 years on death row. Free food, free medical care, free prison sex.

In a perfect world there would be some type of universal recording devices all cops/paramedics/public service people have... you get him on HD video killing someone -- put two in his chest and let him die on site.

Where is judge dredd when you need him.
 
2013-01-29 06:34:44 PM

Linux_Yes: Vietnam came back to him in a big way. so sad.

that's what makes War the gift that keeps on giving.


Oh, so close but

Alonjar: Im so sick of hearing about these innocent victims being murdered in cold blood by assault vehicles. Perhaps every vehicle should have automatic proximity sensors that prevent this kind of thing. Or maybe we just need to restrict vehicles to 2 wheels and they must weigh less than 300 pounds.... no commuter needs more than that to get to where they need to go.

If it saves one life, it will be worth it.


narrowly beat you out for "first to re-purpose sad crime for their own agenda." Maybe next time.
 
2013-01-29 06:38:27 PM

cryinoutloud: He'd have to be squealing out of there like Steve McQueen to hit somebody that hard, or driving through the back wall. Or did he pull into the driveway at 50 mph and "accidentally" not see her in the driveway, and ran her clean over? There is just no way to explain that.


Nah, it happens just backing out of a garage.  It really comes down to what happens when the victim is under the car.
 
2013-01-29 06:38:58 PM

kvinesknows: A couple of Oklahoma hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."
... There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "OK, now what?"



Schweet. forwarded that one!
 
2013-01-29 06:39:52 PM
Anyone who has been married for more than 10 years has thought about it.
 
2013-01-29 06:42:52 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.



the more technical term is Psychopath. and most Psychopaths are not violent.
 
2013-01-29 06:44:45 PM

ProfessorOhki: Linux_Yes: Vietnam came back to him in a big way. so sad.

that's what makes War the gift that keeps on giving.

Oh, so close but

Alonjar: Im so sick of hearing about these innocent victims being murdered in cold blood by assault vehicles. Perhaps every vehicle should have automatic proximity sensors that prevent this kind of thing. Or maybe we just need to restrict vehicles to 2 wheels and they must weigh less than 300 pounds.... no commuter needs more than that to get to where they need to go.

If it saves one life, it will be worth it.

narrowly beat you out for "first to re-purpose sad crime for their own agenda." Maybe next time.


sure, it could be his age (senility) or his Psycho wife, could be alot of things. but those who've been on the battle field tend to shine in these types of crimes.
 
2013-01-29 06:46:02 PM
Not very well executed
 
2013-01-29 06:50:09 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Approves.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x248]



The Flor

The Angry Hand of God: Approves.

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x248]


The Florida nose job..
 
2013-01-29 06:50:40 PM

Lsherm: Nah, it happens just backing out of a garage.  It really comes down to what happens when the victim is under the car.


Sure, it's possible. You could be backing up slowly, tap someone who's not looking, and they fall and crack their head open on the concrete. It's just not terribly likely when you're going five miles an hour.
 
2013-01-29 06:53:13 PM
Fu Manchu mustaches and stable personalities rarely seem to go together.
 
2013-01-29 06:55:28 PM

draa: sandi_fish: Believe me, it's worth all the money you have not to be trapped.

THIS.

My divorce became final last Wednesday. It didn't cost me any money out of pocket since I represented myself and was willing to give her everything we owned in order to get away from her and be done with it(I kept a car). It's fairly easy to do in states like Florida. Others not so much. It also helps if you can convince her/him to divorce without going after each other like rabid animals. I got her to agree to no alimony and she even has to pay the mortage on our home since she agreed to do it without her lawyer being present. Other than not being able to get my name off of the mortage right now I'm free, free, free. It's a great feeling for sure and I recommend it for anyone in a bad marriage. In most cases it's certainly better than staying in one.


Welcome to the brotherhood. I highly recommend farking the brains out of as many sweet young things with big tits as you can manage. Also get a motorcycle and a loyal dog.
 
2013-01-29 07:05:48 PM

KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a lot of money if you don't want to be a hungry homeless person who is still legally married. I've noticed there are a lot of TV shows about horrible husbands who control their wifes life and make sure they have no access to money, no car, accounts that are in both names are in his computer and she doesn't know the passwords etcetera. It isn't just twisted men who do these things.


Speaking as the party on a joint checking account who has free time during banker's hours, I know I can walk in, show my ID, and do basically anything by myself. It's only if your name isn't on the account that you're in trouble.
 
2013-01-29 07:08:01 PM
The more I read about paramedics, the more I'm convinced at least one of them per ambulance should have a concealed carry permit.
 
2013-01-29 07:11:13 PM

BronyMedic: I don't even....

I can't even imagine walking up on a scene like that. I'd like to think I'd make music with the steel oxygen tank and a human skull, but damn.


Have you ever dealt with violent people at a scene? I've actually considered the paramedic field and you certainly seem experienced. I assume it would happen rarely, but that it still occurs.
 
2013-01-29 07:16:28 PM

draa: Oh, and KrispyKritter, you might want to avoid saying shiat like that until AFTER you get a divorce. If anything ever happens, what you say online can, and probably will, come back to bite you in the ass..


Mr. Kritter may be using an alias here.
 
2013-01-29 07:23:36 PM

rhiannon: rustypouch: I wonder what she did to deserve it.

She didn't die the first time he killed her.


She was probably going to leave.
 
2013-01-29 07:39:13 PM

Wayne 985: The more I read about paramedics, the more I'm convinced at least one of them per ambulance should have a concealed carry permit.


There's actually a huge debate about it right now in my profession, and many people are torn. My opinion is: If you're willing to give me the training and supply the gun, I'm OK with it to a certain extent. My problem with it is that I'm often in close proximity to unrestrained, mentally unstable and altered patients. It would not be hard for my gun to get taken from me.

The major problem with it is that not all Paramedics are Government - many are private or non-profit - and there is a huge liability issue for those companies arming their paramedics. Rural/Metro or AMR don't want to be paying million dollar lawsuits out for wrongful shootings. And then there's the issue of functioning as law enforcement when we're not.

Tactical EMT training is hella-expensive, we're talking like 2,000 dollars for the Level 1 TacMedic course.

Wayne 985: BronyMedic: I don't even....

I can't even imagine walking up on a scene like that. I'd like to think I'd make music with the steel oxygen tank and a human skull, but damn.

Have you ever dealt with violent people at a scene? I've actually considered the paramedic field and you certainly seem experienced. I assume it would happen rarely, but that it still occurs.


I've been personally attacked five times, three were during DV scenes. One of them tried to take a knife to me and my partner, I screamed, beaned him in the head with a steel D-Cylender, and ran like hell. Turns out we knocked him out cold, once SO got there we went back in. The one that made me REALLY mad was on an assault scene where I was treating a man's wife who had just been beaten up by his neighbor, and the SO just disappeared on me. I look up to get an IV catheter, and I'm face to face with a double-barreled shotgun. The husband says "Get out of the way or I'll shoot you too", and only gets stopped when I call SO back to the scene as he's walking up to his neighbor's house. They were outside talking! -.-

I've worked school shooting and hostage scenes before, and none of them have ever scared me as much as DV calls.
 
2013-01-29 07:39:20 PM
i1164.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-29 07:43:31 PM
Also get a motorcycle and a loyal dog. Hells Yea!!!!

As Jimmy Buffet says...."I'd rather be stuck on the ocean of life than safe in the harbor with you".

Run far, run fast, she be the devil....

I would pull my teeth with a pair of pliers and a bottle of whiskey and then sell my fillings to get away from my ex......
 
2013-01-29 07:46:16 PM

BronyMedic: I've worked school shooting and hostage scenes before, and none of them have ever scared me as much as DV calls.


An Inconvenient Truth:  There isn't anyone who can make you crazier than family.
 
2013-01-29 07:48:45 PM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: his client had been a longtime employee of the LaGrange Public Works Department before retiring.

How could something this terrible happen?! A how how how?


Snerked. Would snerk again.
 
2013-01-29 08:00:57 PM

you are a puppet: Just glanced at your profile and if you're seriously this depressed you need to go ahead and get divorced dude. I don't know if you've talked to to NY divorce attorneys and that's where you've gotten the idea that you'll go broke...but at least you apparently don't have kids, so no child support. Alimony could get pretty high for an 18 year marriage but would it really not be worth it to maybe enjoy your life


I got an uncontested divorce in NY last year. No kids, and I just cut my losses and didn't take ANYTHING I was entitled to just to get away from him. Even signed over a house I loved that was in my name only, because it was "marital property" under NYS law and I couldn't fight him/his money. It hurts (I loved that house) but I am away from him and at the end of the day, I know that I made the right decision because I am pretty sure I would have drank myself to death otherwise.  I didn't get a lawyer; I did the paperwork myself. It's rather basic if you do it as "breakdown of the marriage" and there are no kids involved. I second the getting a divorce if you're really this depressed, it's worth it. I had no emotional attachment to him and realized it was all about the house, and no house and no amount of money is worth being miserable 24/7.
 
2013-01-29 08:07:59 PM
"Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder"

How do you kill someone twice?
 
2013-01-29 08:14:33 PM

doctor_sbaits0: "Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder"

How do you kill someone twice?


Different circumstances. The jury may find not guilty under one set, but guilty on the other.  At least that's what I gather from being an armchair lawyer.
 
2013-01-29 08:26:47 PM
I like the lawyer saying, "he  was married to his wife for 12 years before her untimely death Saturday. "

Yeah...shame she didn't "pass away" before they saw him finishing her off.
 
2013-01-29 08:42:03 PM
Some people really deserve to just disappear. And by "disappear" I mean "be run through a woodchipper Fargo style".

/scum of the Earth
 
2013-01-29 08:42:39 PM
I hate when that happens.
 
2013-01-29 08:47:24 PM

Theaetetus: KrispyKritter: I wish I had the balls to do the same. It's a real long story but sometimes people who are supposed to love you can make life unbearable. They take a sick joy in it. Believe me, there are a lot of people who would love to get a divorce and just walk away. But it takes money, a whole lot of spending money. It's gonna take plenty of money, to do it right, child. It's gonna take time. A whole lot of precious time. It's gonna take patience and time, mmm, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it right, child.


Some people enjoy their misery and don't want to help themselves.
 
2013-01-29 09:12:26 PM

Bit'O'Gristle: I remember a story long ago..about some guy that took drugs and lost his mind, the cops got there and he had his baby son, was swinging him into the concrete by his feet over and over with overhand swings. The baby was obviously dead, and i dont know how they kept from shooting the guy into bloody rags just seeing something like that. I guess you would carry that around all your life.


Well that is just a fantastic mental image you've offered me there. Thanks a lot. Faaaaantastic.

Yeah.

/sigh
 
2013-01-29 09:38:29 PM
Meanwhile, in a better world!
10 minutes later, paramedics radio back to dispatch: "You're not going to believe it, but somehow this guy ran HIMSELF over 6 times while we were en-route..."

/case closed
 
2013-01-29 09:39:00 PM

BronyMedic: mattharvest: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".

Does Illinois still have the Death Penalty? If anyone deserves a needle, it's this asshole.



Crime of passion + white people = Death penalty will never happen.
 
2013-01-29 10:12:36 PM
I love threads where you find out why someone is a miserable troll. A couple of them outed themselves as making under $9 an hour in a thread last week. Miserable people with miserable lives, can't control anything except thread jacking on fark.
 
2013-01-29 10:17:48 PM
Maybe she wouldn't get him a beer and make him a sammich.
 
2013-01-29 11:01:47 PM

Champion of the Sun: I love threads where you find out why someone is a miserable troll. A couple of them outed themselves as making under $9 an hour in a thread last week. Miserable people with miserable lives, can't control anything except thread jacking on fark.


You sure you're in the right thread?
 
2013-01-29 11:02:40 PM
Without going into detail (this is family), I feel terrible for his children, who are all great people with families of their own who now have to live with the knowledge that their dad is a murderer. It's so weird to have a Fark story be in real-life.
 
2013-01-29 11:04:41 PM

Alonjar: Im so sick of hearing about these innocent victims being murdered in cold blood by assault vehicles. Perhaps every vehicle should have automatic proximity sensors that prevent this kind of thing. Or maybe we just need to restrict vehicles to 2 wheels and they must weigh less than 300 pounds.... no commuter needs more than that to get to where they need to go.

If it saves one life, it will be worth it.


If only she had had an assault vehicle too, we wouldn't be reading this sad story.
 
2013-01-29 11:14:15 PM

jst3p: Anyone who has been married for more than 10 years has thought about it.


What if you've been with a person 6 years and then during an argument they decide to try to hit you but instead just push you. I'm kinda scared of him now.
 
2013-01-29 11:22:43 PM

rustypouch: I wonder what she did to deserve it.


Married a nutjob?
 
2013-01-30 08:13:32 AM

Treygreen13: I wonder if, perhaps, he hit her thinking she would die...and so he calls the ambulance to report the accident. So while he's waiting she starts to gasp for air and it's apparent that she's going to survive the murder attempt and tell the police he did it on purpose, in addition to more information about some crimes he has committed that she knows about. So he starts to finish the job manually and the paramedics get there a lot sooner than he expected.


Gee, ya think?
 
2013-01-30 08:15:11 AM
I know that in California, a suspect can be charged with a count of rape each time there "is a moment to reflect" on the action, i.e. each time penetration is made or changing positions. I wonder if hitting her with the car, then the stomp count separately for the charges. Probably not, but that's the closest I can think of and I have limited knowledge.
 
2013-01-30 08:29:52 AM

BorgiaGinz: Without going into detail (this is family), I feel terrible for his children, who are all great people with families of their own who now have to live with the knowledge that their dad is a murderer. It's so weird to have a Fark story be in real-life.


Did you know this guy? Are you shocked that he would do this or is this one of those "we all knew he was going to snap one day" type things?
 
2013-01-30 08:32:45 AM

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: his client had been a longtime employee of the LaGrange Public Works Department before retiring.

How could something this terrible happen?! A how how how?


+1 sir. +1.
 
2013-01-30 01:58:37 PM

Theaetetus: mattharvest: kmmontandon: Nichols faces two counts of first degree murder.

Did he kill her twice or something?

In some jurisdictions, you need to charge very specific theories of murder, while in others (e.g. Maryland) you just say "Murder".

I think his objection was to the two counts, not the first degree part.


I suspect the two theories are vehicular vs the face beating. They probably are not entirely certain which killed her yet.
 
2013-01-30 02:04:36 PM

internut scholar: BorgiaGinz: Without going into detail (this is family), I feel terrible for his children, who are all great people with families of their own who now have to live with the knowledge that their dad is a murderer. It's so weird to have a Fark story be in real-life.

Did you know this guy? Are you shocked that he would do this or is this one of those "we all knew he was going to snap one day" type things?


He's the ex-husband of a family member. Never met him myself, but the stories I've heard about him over the years indicated that he is one major asshole.
 
Displayed 121 of 121 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report