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(Slate)   Family Research Council says women can't serve in combat because they can't pee outdoors. No, seriously, they said that   (slate.com) divider line 62
    More: Silly, Family Research Council, foreign policy  
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9329 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 3:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-28 03:48:36 PM
20 votes:
Little known fact: Women did not exist before indoor plumbing.
2013-01-28 03:28:24 PM
9 votes:
Well it's only logical, guys. It's the same reason we passed the nationwide ban on women camping back in the 90s.
2013-01-28 03:54:22 PM
6 votes:
...and for half a million years women held it in, eagerly awaiting the invention of the powder room.
2013-01-28 04:47:26 PM
5 votes:

bluefox3681: Joe Scarborough made an interesting point the other day. He mentioned to Mika that she is in much better shape then him. However, in a firefight, he would be able to carry her around in need be. However, even though she was in better physical shape, there is no way that she could carry Joe out of dangers, since he weighed so much more than her.



So...you're saying there's no downside?
2013-01-28 03:49:43 PM
5 votes:
Thank god they don't poop.
2013-01-28 04:08:21 PM
4 votes:

mark12A: One time I was bicycling home from work, under I-95, through the Philly sports complex. I saw one women, behind one of the I-95 support coluums, pants down, butt hanging out, squatting and peeing like a horse there on the tarmac.

Sorry Farkies, but women trying to pee in combat surroundings is a hell of a lot more complicated than guys whipping it out and squirting.


So, just to sum up: You once saw a woman peeing in public without needing a toilet, and you submit this experience as proof that women are incapable of peeing without a toilet. Did I get that right?
2013-01-28 03:50:53 PM
4 votes:
Nothing called FaRC can be taken seriously....
2013-01-28 03:48:23 PM
4 votes:
They should see my wife walking home after leaving the bar and a long subway ride... Their wrongness cannot be overstated.
2013-01-28 05:05:44 PM
3 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: Oh, and if you get captured...YOU GONNA GET RAPED.


At least pregnancy won't be a problem in that case. Because you know the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.
2013-01-28 04:40:31 PM
3 votes:

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: On the third hand (this metaphor has a genetic mutation) their menstruation will attract bears, killing the women outright, and this problem rights itself.


Yes, and land sharks. For this reason, blood should not be introduced into a combat area. Anywhere that there is active combat must remain entirely blood free. For safety.
2013-01-28 04:05:35 PM
3 votes:
I love this guy. First he argues that field conditions are such that soldiers sometimes go for weeks without bathing, then claims that having women on the field may distract male soldiers with their sexiness.
2013-01-28 04:01:33 PM
3 votes:
Women can't pee outdoors. they secrete a secretion to prevent it. They shut that whole thing down.
2013-01-28 03:53:13 PM
3 votes:
dl.dropbox.com

Women can be trained to pee outdoors.
Its not hard.
2013-01-28 03:53:10 PM
3 votes:
Your Chick-fil-A lunch dollars at work folks.
2013-01-28 04:00:37 PM
2 votes:

Jument: Gelatinous: Thank god they don't poop.

LOL


Yeah, actually they do but you hardly ever see it.

They usually just beef hard and heel it down the drain.
2013-01-28 03:58:42 PM
2 votes:
The author sounds unfamiliar with female genitalia. I'd love to here his thoughts on regulating female reproductive health.
2013-01-28 03:53:24 PM
2 votes:

namegoeshere: Of course they can! Just start making these in camo.


Or make Cammo Utilikilts standard BDU for both sexes:
farm6.staticflickr.com
2013-01-28 03:50:22 PM
2 votes:
Wait until the Family Research council funds out that we're letting Negroes into integrated units!

Also did they hear that homosexuals can serve openly?
2013-01-28 03:47:24 PM
2 votes:
I've seen plenty of videos on the internet that say otherwise!
2013-01-28 03:24:41 PM
2 votes:
Have these people never been to a festival?

Wait, of course they haven't.
2013-01-29 01:34:47 AM
1 votes:

Bucky Katt: The Family Research Council: are they stupid because they're rightwingers or are they rightwingers because they're stupid?


yes
2013-01-28 09:24:49 PM
1 votes:

thurstonxhowell: One problem I see with making women sign up for the draft: Wouldn't that provide a perverse incentive to create otherwise unwanted children?

I'm a woman. There's a war. I don't want to go there. Hmm, what do?

As a guy, I'd knock up my GF if I thought it was necessary to keep her out of a warzone. I bet others would do the same.


Sure, what's her address?

;)
2013-01-28 08:54:12 PM
1 votes:

namegoeshere: jaybeezey: That's ludacrisp! The real women that women can't be in combat is that there might spiders in those fox holes...and women do not deal well with spiders.

Yes. Men react much better to spiders. (nsfw language)


Great.
boards.cannabis.com
This is now a spider thread.
2013-01-28 06:32:18 PM
1 votes:

Aigoo: Dear FRC, I peed outdoors for seven years. I also dug foxholes, shared tents with men and women (and even, occasionally, officers), got shot at, sweated and shed blood, marched countless miles with about half of my body weight on my back, gave up holidays, missed important events in loved ones' lives such as my father's 50th birthday party and funerals of several relatives, and only narrowly made it to the funeral of the grandfather with whom I lived and who raised me for several years, and due to the nature of my job, once saved an entire farking battalion because I was the only one who happened to notice the precarious situation they were about to find themselves in and quickly recommended to the COL that he consider giving orders to remove them from that situation while there was still time, before they were all slaughtered.

When you, FRC, do that as a "non-combat soldier," then you can tell me whether or not I should be serving my country in an official combat role--because news flash: we've been serving in combat for years, whether you decide to acknowledge it or not. But until you do even a fraction of what we women have done for our country in a "non-combat" role, FRC, shut the fark up you sniveling douchetards.


You know your period doesn't count right?

/just kidding... thanks for your service and sacrifice, and great comment.
2013-01-28 05:27:31 PM
1 votes:
Girls can't pee outdoors? I have an awful lot of pictures and video that say otherwise.

It is not gonna be any different for a female soldier to pee than any gender of soldier to poop - aside from not having to be as picky about where to pee compared to where to poop.

As for people in this thread worrying over periods and even pregnancy, why not keep them on the pill constantly? Women can postpone periods indefinitely without any health consequence and also not get pregnant too.
2013-01-28 05:24:10 PM
1 votes:
Ever body knows wimmmin pee attracks ky-otes and IEDs.
2013-01-28 05:18:40 PM
1 votes:

mark12A: I love how this is constantly trotted out to justify gays in the military. IT IS NON-GERMANE. What happened in the distant past with a society that ultimately collapsed DOES NOT apply to our current situation.

However, MY present day experience with what I've encountered on Navy ships does apply. The heterosexual horse trading that goes on, the destruction of promising military careers caused by "Zipper Failure" is rampant and ignored by the MSM because it doesn't fit their PC narrative of a smoothly operating, culturally diverse and wonderfully perfect "Modern" military.

Adding gays into the mix will make it even worse. When they were not allowed, they kept their behaviour to themselves. With them in the open, they will be pair bonding and that's when all the conflict, favoritism, jealousy all comes pouring out and crapping up the workplace. Happens with male/female heteros onboard, WILL happen with gays.

Adding sex into modern, technological combat environments is a distraction that will cost lives, and ultimately battles. This pathetic belief that "training" will prevent misbehaviour is every bit as misguided as the Soviets were when they thought lifelong indoctrination/education would produce the "New Soviet Man" who would work selflessly for the greater glory of the Motherland.

Didn't work. You can't change human nature.

Like I said, this gays/women in combat crap will be blow away as soon as we get into a real shooting war.


Were you born an idiot, or did it happen over time?
2013-01-28 05:11:47 PM
1 votes:
Obviously they don't know squat about women.
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-28 05:11:29 PM
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: Oh, and if you get captured...YOU GONNA GET RAPED.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

BRING IT, biotch.
2013-01-28 05:09:14 PM
1 votes:

thurstonxhowell: One problem I see with making women sign up for the draft: Wouldn't that provide a perverse incentive to create otherwise unwanted children?

I'm a woman. There's a war. I don't want to go there. Hmm, what do?

As a guy, I'd knock up my GF if I thought it was necessary to keep her out of a warzone. I bet others would do the same.


I smell mapcap rom-com starring Emma Stone!
2013-01-28 05:02:35 PM
1 votes:
You liberals need to realize that sexuality is a part of human nature, and is ALWAYS going to be present when men and women share the same space unless they are teenagers who have signed and abstinence pledge.
2013-01-28 04:58:54 PM
1 votes:

Psycoholic_Slag: jehovahs witness protection: As long as women have to be held to the same standards as men, it shouldn't matter. Only one in 500 will be up to par though.

They will never get past the "kill the spider in the bathtub" phase of the testing.


I never considered myself military material, but hey, I just killed a spider in the bathtub over the weekend. What's the next phase, "not jumping onto furniture when seeing a mouse"? Or some other cliché from an early 1960s sitcom? Is Vitameatavegamin tolerance tested?
2013-01-28 04:44:51 PM
1 votes:

angry_scientist: This is my weapon, this is my _____?


One is for fighting and the other one dun't?

/Say it like Ricky Ricardo
2013-01-28 04:41:08 PM
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: As long as women have to be held to the same standards as men, it shouldn't matter. Only one in 500 will be up to par though.


I hear a lot of guys say that, but I wonder how many of them have something even approaching a realistic idea of A) what kind of shape you have to be in for combat and b) how womefully short they themselves personally fall short of that standard despite having a Y chromosome.

  Yet strangely history proves that on several occasions in our history we've been able to turn hundreds of thousands of desk workers and clerks and factory workers into the most feared combat force on the planet.   However did we do that I wonder?

Did we simply go through the population hand-selecting all the hidden Adonai among us and giving them guns, or, as crazy as it sounds, does the human body possess some heretofore unguessed ability to grow stronger and gain more endurance through repetitive physical activity?  And is it maybe just possible that we could somehow TRAIN this strange  human super-power through a specifically designed series of physical exercises?   Sorry, I know that's crazy-talk, I just got carried away
2013-01-28 04:40:34 PM
1 votes:
I sadly read the whole article, and their 8 points boil down as follows:

Women can't serve because they are hot, distracting, delicate flowers.
2013-01-28 04:25:07 PM
1 votes:

larrylboberry: When are they going to stop segregate genders in the Olympics?!

If women are equal they won't mind competing fairly!


When will oranges start giving me apple juice when I squeeze them?
2013-01-28 04:23:25 PM
1 votes:
I can sort of understand why the FRC is having a hard time understanding how women can pee outside - afterall, many people at the FRC still wet the bed when frightened.
2013-01-28 04:17:59 PM
1 votes:

Cythraul: There's Always A Bloody Ghost: I'm Canadian, so I'm getting a kick out of this.

Canada has allowed women to fill combat roles for 20 years. http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/10/25/women-filled-8-3-of-canadas-co mbat-positions-in-afghanistan-study/

Yes, yes. You Canadians are always so more civilized than we lowly United Statesians.


It's true, we'll pee on anything, anytime.
2013-01-28 04:15:27 PM
1 votes:

Lenny and Carl: Just what do you Christian fundamentalists think Jewish women did during the 40 years they supposedly wandered in the desert? You know, like in that story? It's near the beginning of that book you guys like to hold while you yell at gay people heading to a club or women going to the ob-gyn.


Not sure there are many Christian fundamentalists on Fark, but while I yell at women heading to the obgyn I'm usually holding a copy of "Black Tail" magazine. You should check it out.
2013-01-28 04:15:03 PM
1 votes:

Aigoo: Dear FRC, I peed outdoors for seven years. I also dug foxholes, shared tents with men and women (and even, occasionally, officers), got shot at, sweated and shed blood, marched countless miles with about half of my body weight on my back, gave up holidays, missed important events in loved ones' lives such as my father's 50th birthday party and funerals of several relatives, and only narrowly made it to the funeral of the grandfather with whom I lived and who raised me for several years, and due to the nature of my job, once saved an entire farking battalion because I was the only one who happened to notice the precarious situation they were about to find themselves in and quickly recommended to the COL that he consider giving orders to remove them from that situation while there was still time, before they were all slaughtered.

When you, FRC, do that as a "non-combat soldier," then you can tell me whether or not I should be serving my country in an official combat role--because news flash: we've been serving in combat for years, whether you decide to acknowledge it or not. But until you do even a fraction of what we women have done for our country in a "non-combat" role, FRC, shut the fark up you sniveling douchetards.


Well, I guess we're done here.
2013-01-28 04:09:34 PM
1 votes:

mark12A: One time I was bicycling home from work, under I-95, through the Philly sports complex. I saw one women, behind one of the I-95 support coluums, pants down, butt hanging out, squatting and peeing like a horse there on the tarmac.

Sorry Farkies, but women trying to pee in combat surroundings is a hell of a lot more complicated than guys whipping it out and squirting.

Women and gays in combat is monumentally stupid, but the PC brigade will get its way for now, and it will be goofy, scandalous, constantly newsworthy, will wreck countless military careers, and go on until we get into a real war, at which point women/gays in combat units will go away overnight as we get serious at fighting for national survival in what ever serious conflict we get into in the future.....


You bicycle to work? What are you, some kind of communist?
2013-01-28 04:03:55 PM
1 votes:

HotIgneous Intruder: One word: PREGNANT.

That is all. Carry on.


One word: PROSTATE CANCER / KICKED IN THE NUTS.

That is all. Carry on.
2013-01-28 04:03:47 PM
1 votes:
One time I was bicycling home from work, under I-95, through the Philly sports complex. I saw one women, behind one of the I-95 support coluums, pants down, butt hanging out, squatting and peeing like a horse there on the tarmac.

Sorry Farkies, but women trying to pee in combat surroundings is a hell of a lot more complicated than guys whipping it out and squirting.

Women and gays in combat is monumentally stupid, but the PC brigade will get its way for now, and it will be goofy, scandalous, constantly newsworthy, will wreck countless military careers, and go on until we get into a real war, at which point women/gays in combat units will go away overnight as we get serious at fighting for national survival in what ever serious conflict we get into in the future.....
2013-01-28 03:59:35 PM
1 votes:

Uranus Is Huge!: The author sounds unfamiliar with female genitalia. I'd love to here hear his thoughts on regulating female reproductive health.

2013-01-28 03:58:06 PM
1 votes:
According to Norway,  Sweden, Denmark, Finland and a whole host of other countries, not only are women perfectly suited for combat roles as we can indeed pee  outside, we can actually pee standing up. With enough practice, we can even write our names in the snow. So hand over the heavy weaponry and go hide behind yer mama's skirt, Nancy boys.

/wut?  I was raised  by Scandinavians
//we're special!
2013-01-28 03:57:01 PM
1 votes:

treesloth: vernonFL: Wait until the Family Research council funds out that we're letting Negroes into integrated units!

Also did they hear that homosexuals can serve openly?

Indeed, even Negresses!


President Space Lincoln approves of Negresses serving

www.startrek.com

/especially charming ones.
2013-01-28 03:56:46 PM
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: Have these people never been to a festival?

Wait, of course they haven't.


I used to work as a bus boy for a college bar.  From personal experience I can tell you women will piss anywhere they goddamn feel like it.  Drunk women also have a truly obnoxious habit of playing with poop.  Never once did I have to clean shiat off a stall wall in the men's room.  It was a weekly occurrence in the women's room.
2013-01-28 03:55:51 PM
1 votes:
There were no women prior to the invention of houses.
2013-01-28 03:54:32 PM
1 votes:

JohnAnnArbor: I once saw a product that was a little disposable paper triangle/cone that was intended to allow ladies to use urinals.


The she-wee! It was on Top Gear!

Srsly
2013-01-28 03:54:01 PM
1 votes:
Jerry Boykin

My shocked face:  -_-
2013-01-28 03:53:50 PM
1 votes:
Womens equality is basically a sprint to PTSD, Heart Disease, Stress, hypertension etc etc oh but there is a bigger paycheck so it is AWESOME.

Do women realize that if guys could basically give it all up, let them take care of making the money and stay home, most would do it in a heartbeat ?
2013-01-28 03:53:40 PM
1 votes:
Well, of course they can pee outdoors. What they can't do is write their name in the snow or pee higher on the wall than a man can.

So again, they're inferior. Besides, what kind of combat can they possibly engage in when they're in the kitchen - as they should be?
2013-01-28 03:52:52 PM
1 votes:
Israel lets their women serve the front line and their army is arguably a lot tougher than ours. Israel can do no wrong in the eyes of many Republicans and anyone who speaks out against them is against "Judeo-Christian values" and therefore anti-American. But I guess this doesn't count?
2013-01-28 03:52:39 PM
1 votes:
slackananda

Nothing called FaRC can be taken seriously....

Yes, but you have to pay the $5 a month.
2013-01-28 03:52:18 PM
1 votes:
Hope no farkers have a fetish for outdoor water sports. If you do, Give it up, man....it's gone.
2013-01-28 03:49:50 PM
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: Have these people never been to a festival?

Wait, of course they haven't.


Shouldn't you? It's almost the Red Hour.
lochgarry.files.wordpress.com

/back to the shadows again
//where an indian's always your friend
///where the vegetables are green
////and...
2013-01-28 03:49:47 PM
1 votes:
Someone doesn't understand this design:
idolexpress.com
2013-01-28 03:49:14 PM
1 votes:
Right. And nobody pees in the shower either. The urge to urinate - the great equalizer.
2013-01-28 03:48:55 PM
1 votes:

trotsky: /Who needs health class in the age of the internet?


Everybody at the Family Research Council.
2013-01-28 03:46:45 PM
1 votes:
Issue them driver's buddies. Problem solved.
2013-01-28 03:46:16 PM
1 votes:
I don't know, I saw some porn once that said otherwise.

/Who needs health class in the age of the internet?
2013-01-28 03:45:21 PM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: *facepalm*

Women can't pee outdoors? Really? You really believe that, Family Research Council?


To a certain, rather substantial proportion of the "Christian" "conservative" community, female anatomy is mysterious and scary.
 
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